Hey Guys!

i hope everyone had a great Christmas!!!!!!!!!!! well Happy New Years!!!!!!!!

sorry i havent updated in a while, i know there's no excuse for not updating but i've writtten a small one for everyone.:):)

hope you like it!

xo

I didn't realize it was a dream at first, it felt so real. I was walking down the aisle of the church and I was wearing a long dress and a veil as well as holding flowers. That's when I new it was a dream. I was wearing the most gorgeous white dress I had ever seen and I was extremely happy for once. It reminded me of the times I would day dream about Sam and me getting married except he was sitting in one of the pews. Then at the end of the aisle there is a guy in a black tux facing away from me. As I start to get closer he turns around and it's Jacob Black and he's looking at me like I'm a rare and beautiful diamond. He holds his hand out to me to take and I do and we walk up the stairs to stand in front of the minister. Then before the minister can start talking I wake up.

I look around the room and realize it's still dark. I look at the time and its says its only 3 in the morning. Argh it's been only 3 hours since I came home from patrolling. It was alright for like the first hour but then it got extremely boring. But I was able to keep any thoughts of Jacob out of my head, well until now that is.

I wasn't sure why I kept thinking of Jacob, his smile and that stupid smirk of his that makes him look sexy, OMG what am I thinking this is Jacob black. I mean I've known him since birth how could I be thinking of him this way. Then it was like someone had just poured ice cold water onto my head. I like Jacob Black and not just a crush but like like him, like I want a relationship with him. And I just dreamt of us getting married. Man I've got it bad, omg how am I going to keep this from everyone.

I grab my pillow and silently scream into it trying to get rid of some of my frustration. I lie back down and decide to just worry about this in the morning after a few more hours sleep.

JPOV

I knew I shouldn't be feeling this but I couldn't help it. I was in love with Leah Clearwater. The past couple of days have been fantastic. I never thought I would feel this way, and I think this is what real loves supposed to feel like. When I was in love with Bella it was never like this, I mean I wanted to hang out with her and everything, but with Leah it just seems different, it's like an animalistic feeling.

I feel like I'm the only one who should be aloud to touch her and love her. And anyone that got in the way should watch out unless they wanted to be ripped to shreds. I'd just got back from patrolling with Leah for her first time. She's doing really well, but I think she was trying to hide something because she kept on thinking about the teletubbies singing the NSYNC song Bye Bye Bye. I just let it slip for now, but it continued I was going to have to ask her what going on.

Then again she wasn't the only one trying to hide their thoughts. I've gotten really good at not thinking about anything and can hide my thoughts really well. But it was a lot harder this time, I new that I couldn't tell her how I felt since it would surely scare her away, and I know there's no way we could have a future together but I'm willing to take that chance, I just wish she felt the same.

I'm going to go for it and tell her, but I'll wait until I know she'd happier and she won't get too angry for me saying what I want to. But If she does happen to feel the same way about me, but doesn't want to do anything about it because of imprinting I'm not going to give up so easily, I'll prove it too her, even if It kills me.

i really love it when i go and check my mail and i have reviews..they make me very happy.

please review and have a great new year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

xo :)