Chapter 10: Going Down

April 10th

"Did you hear?" One cheerleader asked another.

"Hear what?" The other cheerleader replied, eager for some fresh gossip.

"Well I heard my father talking, and it's supposed to be some huge secret, because they haven't been able to find who did it yet, they think it was the father…"

"What are you talking about?" she interrupted.

"Okay, God. Calm the hell down. So you cannot tell anyone…" The cheerleader whispered something into the other cheerleader's ear.

"She's dead!?" Everyone in the hallway froze mid sentence. The cheerleader frowned.

"Come on, let's get to class." The two girls headed towards English. They scooted into the room just as the final bell rang. Ms. Denton started attendance.

"Grace?"

"Here."

"Heather?"

"Here."

"Haley?" Silence. "Haley?" Ms. Denton looked up from the list. "Does anyone know where Haley is? The cheerleaders looked at each other. The first cheerleader shook her head. The other followed.

"Kelly?"

"Here."

"John?"

"Here."

"Sarah?"

"Here."

"Sam?"

"Here."

"Nathan?" Silence. "Nathan?" Ms. Denton looked up once again. "Does anyone know where Nathan is?" No one made a comment

TWO DAYS EARLIER

April 8th

Thunk. Haley stirred slightly from her slumber. Thunk. Yawning, Haley looked around her room curiously. Thunk. She wondered what the noise was. Thunk. She saw it with her eyes this time. Thunk. She walked over to the window and smiled. Nathan was standing on her lawn throwing rocks at her window. When he saw her, he grinned and motioned for her to come down and meet him. Throwing on some jeans and a tank, she quickly ran downstairs. The clock on the microwave read 3:00 a.m. She quietly exited the house and ran out to the yard.

"Hey girlie."

"What are you doing here?"

"I want to take you somewhere."

"It's three in the morning."

"I know," he replied secretly. He extended his hand, and she took it gratefully. They looked each other in the eye for a moment and shared an intense connection. All of her secrets threatened to leak out as he bore into her soul with his eyes. Quickly she averted his gaze.

"So where are we going?" Nathan didn't say anything. They were walking to this destination. She didn't see his car anywhere. After a walking in the dark for a few blocks, Nathan withdrew his hand from hers and wrapped it around her waist. Shivers coursed through her veins.

"We're almost there." His words were short and direct. Curiosity consumed her. It was now half past three and it was still as dark as ever. They came to a brightly lit intersection. They quickly crossed and Nathan started to run, pulling Haley along with him. "Keep low, and keep quiet." Haley was growing nervous, although she completely trusted Nathan. Together they jogged across the grass and crossed another street. Turning left they headed downhill. They finally reached an old building. Nathan approached it from the side. Haley frowned.

"I think the entrance is over here," she whispered. Nathan wasn't listening. He went around to the side and jumped. He had pulled down the fire escape ladder. He waved Haley over. She followed him up the ladder, and then onto a ledge. The ledge turned into stairs, and eventually there were five flights up. They reached the top platform, and Haley saw a blanket. "What is this?" Nathan smiled. He spread the blanket out and sat down, pulling Haley into his lap. He wrapped his arms tightly around her as she snuggled deeply into her chest. They sat in silence for a while. Haley was the one to break it. "I bet you bring all the girls here," she prodded. Nathan looked at her in surprise.

"No. You are the first. I've never brought anyone here before." Haley stared into the distance, forcing back tears. He was too good to her. He held her tighter. "This is an old school building that was abandoned a long time ago after they built a new one. I wanted you to see the sunrise with me. It's really beautiful." The sun eventually came, and Nathan was right. It was beautiful. The sky was dusky, and their surroundings were still dark, but in the distance a golden orb sparkled.

"It's beautiful." Haley turned to Nathan and looked at him softly. Nathan cupped her face in his hands.

"I don't think you know how in love with you I am." He kissed her softly. When she encouraged him with her tongue, their kiss grew more passionate. Reaching under her shirt, he palmed her breasts. She pressed into him, feeling him between her legs. He moved his hands and cradled her butt as she ground her pelvis onto his growing erection. His lips traveled around her face and neck. His hands traced lines on her back. She leaned into him hiding her face from his view. She tried to block out visions of her father. She pushed herself further into Nathan's embrace trying to smother the visions; the memories. Nathan took this as an encouraging sign and reach underneath her shirt and unclasped her bra. His hands felt good on her body. He reached around to take her shirt off completely. Lost in the moment, Haley forgot about the bruises from the other night. The bruises given to her by her father.

"No!" She squeaked loudly. She pulled her shirt down and re clasped her bra.

"What's wrong?" Haley feigned a smile.

"Nothing baby. It's just cold." Nathan knew she was lying. But he didn't want her to do anything that she wasn't completely comfortable with. In an effort to distract him she undid his pants and pulled down the zipper. She deftly reached in and started to stroke him. Nathan stopped her.

"Hales, we don't have too. I'm comfortable just being here with you. It doesn't have to be sexual." He wasn't sure what he saw in Haley's eyes. She backed away and started down the fire escape. "Haley? Where are you going?"

"I need some space Nathan." Nathan reached out to stop her.

"Haley, we still have the week. You promised…" Haley spun around.

"No, I didn't! And I just need a little space. I'll see you tomorrow at school. Okay?" She started down the steps. "We're okay." Her tone sounded convincing, but it also sounded like she was trying to convince herself. Nathan nodded, unsure if she was telling the truth. Haley reached the bottom and started back to her house. She couldn't take much more of this. Before she started dating Nathan, she had accepted everything. She had resigned herself to this life. Now that Nathan so actively pursued her, she saw what life could be like. She saw what love was. Her father wasn't capable of love. There was only one thing that she could do to make sure that he never hurt her again.

"Haley." She looked up at her father who was standing in the door way.

"Shit."

"Get in the fucking house, right now." Haley followed her father's orders.

School

"Hey Bevin, want to have some fun with tutor freak?" Brooke asked Bevin knowing the answer without having to ask. She asked anyway.

"Def. What should we do?" Brooke produced a picture. For a moment she reconsidered. Then she remembered. "It looks like a normal picture Brooke."

"It won't be after we play with it on Photoshop," she smiled.

Haley ran to school, thoughts consuming her brain. How would she do it? Where? When. A million thoughts she had, but they were all about only one thing. She had to kill her father. She was late. He had made her late.

"Hales!" Haley turned around, jolted out of her thoughts. It was Nathan. He looked frantic.

"Please respect my wishes. We can talk tomorrow, okay?"

"Haley, wait!" He reached out to grab her, but she had already turned the corner. He crashed into her, as she stood frozen in the hall. Pictures of her were plastered over the walls and the lockers. It wasn't her body. They had posed her like a prostitute. She was naked, lying on a rug. It was Haley's face. She was making a kissy face for a reason completely unrelated. It was an old picture; her hair was blonde. "Baby…I'm so sorry." This slut gives it up to anyone. For a free ride call 555-4532. Haley's heart sunk into her stomach. She started to run. She ran faster than she ever had before. Her back pack jostled from side to side and she bolted through the hallway and down the ramp. Nathan was in fast pursuit. He saw her disappear around another corner. "Haley!" He turned the corner and saw a door swing shut. He chased after her. He found himself in a hallway that was unfamiliar to him. He peeked into classrooms, and they were all empty. He found himself at the end of the hall. Carefully he knocked on a faculty bathroom door. No answer. Tentatively her opened it. Haley was cowering in the corner. She had her legs tucked up in the fetal position. Her eyes were closed and she was talking very quietly but very fast. She was barely coherent.

"I can't tell you I cant tell you. You won't love me. I am dirty. Now everyone knows. " "Knows what sweetie?" Nathan pried gently.

"I can't. Why? You'll ask why. You'll want to know the real reason why. Because if I tell you, if I say…if I….then I have to admit that I let him to it to…me. If I tell you…I can't….go back."

"Haley I don't understand what you're saying sweetie." He pulled her limp body onto his lap. She had left her body. She sobbed loudly. He started stroking her hair, but she flinched. He noticed her lifeless hands were now clenched into tight balls.

"I don't want him to hurt me anymore I don't want him to hurt her. I don't want him to hurt me anymore. Nathan I'm so scared."

"Your safe with me," he soothed. "I wont let anything happen to you. I'm here for you. Just tell me."

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." She looked up at him with fear wide in her eyes. She inched herself back into the corner of the bathroom.

"Don't be sorry."

"I was late. I was late. I didn't want to be late. I didn't want to be late. I didn't want to. I didn't want but he made me. And I didn't have time to shower and I'm so dirty and it hurts so much." She clutched her chest tightly. "Every time. Every time he hurts me. He punishes me. I don't want too, I don't want too. I didn't want too!" Haley groaned in agony, picking at her skin. "But he doesn't listen to me. I don't want to have sex with him, but he doesn't listen to me. He doesn't care. He makes me." Her shallow breathing quickened. "I never wanted too. But I'm not strong. I'm not strong. Not strong. Strong, Not strong."

"Oh Haley," Nathan looked at his broken love.

"I don't want to be his baby doll! I'm not his baby girl. I'm nothing. I feel nothing. I am nothing."

She pulled out a small razor blade from her pocket." Nathan stopped her.

"Don't, please don't hurt yourself!" he cried.

"I don't feel anything, I need to feel something!" Nathan looked at her, searching for the answer.

"Feel this. Feel me." He put her hand on his heart.

"I can't!"

"Then cut me, and I'll feel the pain for both of us." He shocked Haley with his statement.

"No." He grabbed Haley's razor as she was bringing it down on her skin and brought it to his own arm. He made a quick slash. The blood quickly started to drip. Haley started to scream.

"No! Why did you do that?!" She threw the small blade across the room. Nathan looked at her. Haley grabbed the clean gauze that hid her old scars and covered his small wound. She collapsed into him.

"We need to get out of here, sweetie." Haley nodded limply. He scooped her up in his arms, and carried her down the hall, the stairs, around the corner, up the ramp down the main hall, and out to his car. Everyone stared at the two, but he couldn't care less. Everything was clear to him. Every secret, every lie. Every thing she did, every way she acted, reacted. It all made sense.

TBC…

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