"Harry," Ginny whispered. "What are they doing?"
"SHHHHHHHHH!" Hermione hissed, whirling on them suddenly. "You're going to wake up Leon!"
"Oh," Harry said, a little too loudly for Hermione's taste. "Sorry!" he said, a little softer.
Ron was standing behind her, glaring.
"Well, it's just that we don't know what you're doing," Harry said, trying to explain himself. "I don't know why you're snapping at each other—"
At that, Hermione and Ron started to snap at each other once more, furiously, and Ginny and Harry sank back into the ragged old couch, feeling silenced. They shot looks between the two, finding the evidence of Ron and Hermione's insanity to be quite clear.
Draco walked in through the door to the kitchen eating an apple, and leaned up against the door frame in his very Slytherin, seductive, rich-people sort of way.
"Ouch," he said, watching the snapping fight with limited interest.
Ron snapped back at her.
"Whoa," Draco said, laughing slyly.
"You understand this garbage?" Harry asked, giving him a suspicious and unbelieving look.
"Oh yeah," said Draco, nodding. "It's really quite easy. All you have to do is—"
Draco stopped, obviously silenced by something Ron had just snapped at Hermione, as was clear by her scandalized look and furious expression.
"OH!" said Draco. "BURN!"
Hermione was silent, still furious. Ron looked satisfied, however briefly.
"YOU ARROGANT HYPOCRITE!" she said, and she shoved Ron with all her might. He fell onto the couch in between Harry and Ginny.
"Watch it, Ron!" Ginny barked. "I'm in a delicate condition!"
There was a wailing sound from the upstairs, and Hermione swirled around in a fit of anger and rage and stomped up the stairs muttering words like "impossible" and "the nerve" to herself.
"What was that all about," said Harry, now pushed uncomfortably into both the hard armrest and Ron's shoulder.
"Ron," said Ginny, who was also being pushed into an armrest. "MOVE."
"I'll move when I'm good and ready," he said.
She must have pinched him, because the next second, he was removing himself from the couch and squealing like a girl.
"RON!" Hermione hollered from upstairs. "THE BABY!"
"Coming," he said, rolling his eyes. "Chess, Harry. It ruins everything."
Ron stomped up the stairs, and Draco took the opportunity to drop in the spot between Harry and Ginny, still chewing on his apple. Harry immediately recoiled, having no wish to touch him but nowhere to go except farther into the armrest.
"That was rough," said Draco, spitting out a little bit of apple. For a rich person, he didn't have very good manners.
"What did they say?" asked Ginny, shooting Harry a look from behind Draco's white blond head.
"I don't think I should tell you," said Draco, shaking his head. "I guess it's going to come out eventually. I can't believe you don't know!"
"Don't know what?" asked Harry, pulling farther and farther away from him.
"Nevermind," said Draco, leaning back into the couch and putting one arm around Ginny's shoulder and another around Harry's.
Harry turned to him with a look of contempt.
"Why are you touching me?" he asked.
"I think you're girlfriend likes it," was all Draco said.
"You're an ugly git!" Harry said, removing himself from Draco's arm and standing, feeling very dirty and violated.
"Fine," said Draco, pulling a puzzled looking Ginny even closer to him. "More for your girlfriend."
"Harry," she said. "Save me please."
Once Draco had been thoroughly beaten up for one afternoon, Harry and Ginny went upstairs to find Hermione and Ron, who were being awful quiet. Leon must have finally been asleep.
"Sing it, Ron!" said Hermione from inside their room. Ginny and Harry leaned in closer towards the crack in the door.
"But—Hermione—gah, I don't want to!"
"It's not about what you want to do, Ron," she said. "If you never sing he's never going to go to sleep, and we can never go back to our argument."
"What's wrong with that?"
"If we never get back to our argument, we can never get back to chess," she said. Harry shot Ginny a confused look, hoping "chess" didn't mean what he thought it did.
"Fine," said Ron, clearing his throat nervously. "Now it's time to say good night—Good night, sleep tight. Now the sun turns out his light, good night, sleep tight Dream sweet dreams for me, dream sweet dreams for you..."
Harry turned to Ginny, trying to force a smirk down. Ron could...sing? Ginny looked as if she was attempting to do the same, her lips screwed into a tight grimace.
"Close your eyes and I'll close mine, good night, sleep tight. Now the moon begins to shine, good night, sleep tight—dream sweet dreams for me, dream sweet dreams for you..."
The song continued and Ginny and Harry slowly snuck away from the door, not wanting to alert Ron and Hermione of their presence. After all, they would be parents soon, and if Harry had to serenade the baby with the Beatles so it would go to sleep, well...then that was just how it was going to be.
The next day, however, was Ron and Hermione as well as Harry and Ginny's new and improved combined wedding. The Dursley's said only "What wedding? Ginny whatsit?", but Wormtail sent his love from prison.
Ginny was looking a little more pregnant than usual and spent the grand majority of the morning trying to make herself look skinnier. Fluer complained the whole morning as well ("Eet iz SUCH a botheer to hav' to come back AGAIN for ANOTHER WEDDING," she whined, completely ignoring the fact that the first had been her own). Ron seemed fine, and spent most of the morning tending to baby Leon, and Harry spent a lot of time trying to calm his hair. Hermione seemed to be in the best mood, however, completely ignoring the fact that she had just had what Harry and Ginny could only assume was a massive fight just the day before.
"Ron, hurry up," said Harry, standing outside the bathroom door. "Stop brushing your hair."
Ron opened the door in a fury, looking peeved.
"My hair doesn't need brushing," he said. "Unlike yours."
Ron followed Harry down the stairs, ruffling whatever it was that Harry had tried to do with his hair before they walked outside. Harry had a strong urge to kick him, but he didn't want to ruin his own wedding.
"Ready to go boys?" asked Percy, appearing out of nowhere.
"Percy!" said Harry.
"Hello, Harry," he said. "Thanks for ruining the last wedding, Potter. I didn't even get to see my baby sister before you dragged her into another one of your schemes."
"I don't have schemes," Harry said, feeling burned.
"Harry," said Ron. "Wedding."
"Right," said Harry.
"Well, see you in the ceremony," said Percy, walking out the door cheerily.
The wedding began and Harry felt oddly like he had at the Yule Ball, all dressed up and right in front of anyone, Rita Skeeter on the front row with her Quick-Notes Quill, shooting suspicious looks at Sirius and Gabrielle. Hermione came outside first, looking as if Ron could do no wrong and she was always the happiest woman in the world. Ginny appeared next, a slight flush creeping up her neck and Harry could tell she was worried about looking pregnant.
Not that it mattered. Leon was sitting on the front row with Mrs. Weasley.
Harry couldn't help himself from looking out over the crowd, however. Rufus Scrimgeour was sitting in the back, looking bored. George and Draco sat on one side, and Fred and Pansy sat on the other. Lupin was there with Tonks, Mad-eye's eye was whirling all around, and Cho was sitting on the second row, crying, much to Harry's dismay, but not to his surprise.
When it was all over, Harry and Ginny sat at the table together talking and eating, trying to ignore all of the well-wishers and drunk people.
"Shush, Ron," Hermione hissed from beside them.
This was Harry and Ginny's first warning that there was trouble.
"I don't even know what you're on about," Ron whispered back, rolling his eyes at her. "I can't control what she said to me."
"What she said to you?" Hermione said, growing a little louder. "Said—Ron, she was all over you!"
"Well, we kind of have a history, Hermione," he said.
"History, right," she said. "You so bravely saved her when you were in an enchanted sleep from all of the Grindylows!"
"You're just jealous," he said. "Where's your big savior Viktor, Hermione? Last I heard, he was snogging Angelina Johnson on the cover of Quidditch Monthly."
"You're such a jerk!" she said. "Like you're the only one who ever has admirers!"
"Hermione, don't start," he said. "Not today."
"I didn't start it," she said, stabbing some salad with her fork angrily. "I wasn't the one hanging all over a veela like a shameless hound dog."
Hermione stood from the table and looked as if she was going to storm away, when suddenly they heard a familiar sound.
Ron singing.
Again.
"Every single day, I walk down the street, I hear people say, "Baby's so sweet". Ever since puberty, everybody stares at me—boys, girls—I can't help it baby! So be kind, and don't lose your mind Just remember that I'm your baby, take me for what I am! Who I was meant to be, and if you give a damn, take me baby or leave me, take me baby or leave me. A tiger in a cage can never see the sun, This...boy...needs his stage, baby - let's have fun! You are the one I choose, folks would kill to fill your shoes! You love the limelight too, now baby, so be mine, but don't waste my time cryin' "O' Honeybear - are you still my my my baby?"
Ginny and Harry looked at Hermione, not having any idea how she was supposed to respond to that, but were surprised.
And not exactly in a good way.
"Don't. You. Dare," she said stiffly.
"Take me for what I am!" Ron continued. "Who I was meant to be, and if you give a damn, take me baby or leave me! No way, can I be what I'm not, but hey—don't you want your boy hot? Don't fight, don't lose your head, 'cause every night—who's in your bed? Who, who's in your bed, baby? Kiss, Pookie."
"It won't work," she sang back. Harry and Ginny gave her a look of horror. "I look before I leap, I love margins and discipline, I make lists in my sleep! Baby what's my sin? Never quit—I follow through. I hate mess, but I love you! What to do with my impromptu baby? So be wise 'cause this girl satisfies! You've got a prize, but don't compromise! You're one lucky baby—take me for what I am!"
"A control freak," he sang dryly.
"Who I was meant to be!" she nearly spat back.
"A snob, yet over-attentive," he said in return.
"And if you give a damn—!" she tried.
"A lovable, droll geek," he replied.
"Take me baby or leave me!"
"And anal retentive," was his only reply.
"That's it!" They sang in unison.
"The straw that breaks my back!" Hermione sang, looking infuriated.
"I quit!" They sang together.
"Unless you take it back!" Hermione warned.
"Can't live with them or without them!" They continued together. "Take me for what I am, who I was meant to be! And if you give a damn, take me baby or leave me! Take me baby, or leave me! Guess I'm leaving! I'm GONE!"
The onlookers were dead silent as Ron and Hermione both stormed off in opposite directions. Harry was holding Leon in his arms like a dutiful uncle, but he could hardly control his indignation as they stormed off and left him there with the small child.
"Blimey," said Seamus, sitting down in Ron's chair and eating some of his chicken. "What do you reckon that was all about?"
Ginny could only stare, jaw hanging open, dazed.
"You gonna eat that?" asked Seamus, pointing at Harry's plate. He did not reply.