Author's Note
Thanks to my Beta and to everyone reading this, i love you all!
Not Quite Home – Chapter 10 – Same Mistake.
Ashley thought that the person who created the mp3 player must have been a genius. Music was a huge part of her life; she swore it was imprinted into her skin before she was born, not surprising with a rock star as her father. No matter what was happening in her life music was able to take her into a place of peace, the music providing her with comfort, disconnecting her from all the emotions of the real world.
"I feel you in my heart and I don't even know you" Ashley sang loudly as she twirled around the kitchen, tidying up at the same time; wearing a pair of her favorite sweat pants and a tank top that revealed her small bump.
Ashley was too caught up in the music to notice the arrival of her mother, "Ashley what the hell are you doing?!"
Having not heard her mother Ashley continued to drum her hands to the beat of the music against the kitchen counter. Spinning around one last time before she ended up face to face with her mother, she quickly pulled her earphones out of her ears, "Mom what are you doing here? I thought you were in Australia until next Monday?"
"Don't look so surprised to see me Ashley, I do live her, I can come and go as I choose."
"Of course, I was just erm, surprised to see you back this soon; I mean you love your trips to Australia." Ashley was stumbling over her words as she tried to finish her sentence as soon as possible, very aware of what she was wearing; quickly covering her stomach with her arms.
Her mom hadn't failed to notice Ashley's quick movement, as she dropped her eyes to her daughter's stomach, "Oh Ashley please tell me that that isn't what I think it is!? Please tell me you've just gained some weight!"
"Erm well I have gained some weight, but yeah I am, erm pregnant," Ashley mumbled struggling for words, "I guess a congratulations is order huh Grandma?" Ashley accidentally joked, immediately regretting the words as her mother's eyes flashed with anger.
"Congratulations Grandma?! You've got to be kidding me! Please tell me it's not too late to get that thing aborted." Her mother spat coldly.
Ashley took a step back at her mother's harsh words. She knew her mother was never going to be pleased, but then her mother was never pleased with anything she did, but Ashley wasn't quite expecting those hurtful words.
Finding her voice again Ashley took two steps towards her mother, "It doesn't matter whether or not if it's too late to get my baby aborted because I'm keeping it. I could never abort my child."
Her mother spitefully moved passed Ashley, making sure she roughly caught Ashley's shoulder with her own, "Who's the father? God knows how many men you've brought back here!"
"It's Aiden mom! He's the only guy I've ever slept with!" Ashley shouted.
Christine looked horrified at the mention of Aiden's name, "Aiden's baby? Please tell me you haven't told him?"
"I haven't told him yet, but I am going to tell him, he has a right to know, this is our baby." Ashley replied turning around to face her mother.
"Don't tell him Ashley! That boy is wonderful, he has a future in basketball, and he doesn't need you to ruin his life with your mistake!"
"My mistake?! You think I did this on purpose?!" Ashley was practically shouting now, "What do you think I just decided to get pregnant one day, and then invited Aiden over to do his part! This isn't a mistake I made on my own mother!"
"This is a mistake that could be corrected! A mistake that shouldn't ruin a bright boy's life because his slutty girlfriend forgot her birth control pills! Are you out for revenge because you two are over? Are you trying to cause him pain?"
"I am not a slut! How dare you! This is not revenge mother, this is a mistake that ended by creating life, and now that life deserves to be loved by two parents, even if they're not together!"
"That's what I'm trying to get through to you Ashley, Aiden won't want to be a parent at 18!! Your choice to keep this baby makes this mistake something you have to live with on your own!"
"Well if that's true, if he doesn't want to know, at least he had the chance to! I'll love this baby all on my own; I'll give it everything I can!"
At this her mother burst into a hideous cackle, "Ashley sweetheart, what are you ever going to be able to offer a child?! You have no future, no support; you'll do nothing but ruin that child's life!"
Ashley felt stuck, her feet were rooted to the floor, her mouth had closed up, and the courage she had been using had suddenly upped and left her; there was nothing she could do.
"Use some common sense Ashley, don't have a child that you won't love, don't make the same mistake I did." And with that her mother left the house, driving off down the road without looking back, leaving Ashley destroyed just like she had so many times before.
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Ashley wasn't sure how long she stood there after her mother left; she wasn't sure after how much time she let her body sink to the floor; she wasn't sure how long she stayed crying into her hands; the only thing she was sure of was, that right now she needed Spencer.
Ashley didn't bother going up to her room to change before she snatched up her car keys and headed towards the Carlin's house, thankful that Mr. & Mrs. C would be away for the weekend visiting Paula's sick mother in Ohio.
When Ashley got to Spencer's door she froze, unsure whether to knock, she wanted to so badly, she really needed Spencer, but it was 3.43am and she was pretty sure that Spencer would be fast asleep; completely unaware that Ashley's world was crumbling down around her. She lifted her hand to knock once more before deciding against it, heading back towards her car.
"Ash?" Ashley turned back around to see Spencer standing with her front door open, a concerned look on her face.
"How did you know I was here? I didn't even knock."
"Ash just get in here its freezing!" Spencer quietly yelled.
"Nah I'm fine Spencer, this was a bad idea, I shouldn't have come here at this time."
Spencer quickly ran over the dew covered grass, reaching Ashley and tugging her hand, pulling her back into the house.
"Don't be so stupid Ash; you can always come to me, anytime, anywhere." Spencer said as she closed and locked up the front door, "And I knew you were here because I heard your car."
When Spencer turned around she was shocked at the puffiness of Ashley's eyes, the pain evident across her face, and the lack of clothes she was wearing, things she hadn't seen in the darkness, "Oh my god Ash are you ok? What happened?"
Ashley had started to cry again, the tears were spilling down her face like mini waterfalls, and she was shivering. Spencer didn't ask Ashley again, she simply took her hand and led her to her room, sat Ashley on the end of her bed and grabbed the hoodie off the back of the chair.
Ashley couldn't stop crying, her mouth felt like it had closed up again, and she was completely frozen, unsure of how to explain anything. Leaving Spencer to do nothing but whisper "Shhh" over and over again, while she bent down in front of her and carefully pushed Ashley's arms through the hoodie, like she was dressing a child before zipping it up and rubbing her arms up and down Ashley's arms to try and stop the shivering.
"My…mom…kno…knows…about…th…the baby…and…she said…I'd ru...ruin…Aiden's...life…if…he…knew…and…that…I'd…ru…ruin…the baby's…life…if…I…kept…it...," Ashley managed to get out as she sobbed, "She…said…I…was…a...slut…and…that…she…doesn't…love…me…that…I…don't…hav…have…anyone."
Spencer couldn't bear to see Ashley in this much pain. She didn't understand how a mother could say that she practically hated her own child; how she could tell her daughter that she was on her own, when all she had ever needed is her parent's love and approval.
Spencer stood up and brushed the hair strewn across Ashley's damp forehead out of her face and tucked it neatly behind her ears before lightly taking Ashley's face in her hands, gently caressing the never ending tears off her cheeks, "I'm here for you baby," Spencer whispered as she brushed a kiss onto Ashley's left cheek, trying to stop the tears with her lips, "I'm right here," Spencer repeated again as she placed a kiss on Ashley's other cheek and then moved up to kiss her eyes, in hope that she could kiss away Ashley's pain, "I'm not going anywhere, I promise," she repeated while kissing her way back down Ashley's cheeks; kissing each tear that escaped her beautiful eyes, moving eventually down to the corner's of her mouth, "I'll be here forever," Spencer promised as she rested her forehead against Ashley's, still using her thumbs to tend to the last few escaping tears.
With their foreheads still resting against each other, Ashley lowered her mouth, gently brushing her lips against Spencer's before closing her eyes and whispering, "Hold me Spence."
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