Author's note:
The response has been overwhelmingly positive, thanks to all of you! I can't believe this is chapter 10 already! It's quite a bit longer than my usual chapters – but I trust that you'll understand why.
A special shout-out to pippapear, for her reviews and incentive all along.
I was so glad about the assignment I instantly forgave the short, stubby Psychology teacher for her shrieking during the previous lectures. Instead of a three hour class we were given the time for independent work in pairs, in order to produce a text about quality of life; no presentation required, which meant about half the work load.
Looking through the crowd, I spotted a familiar head of curly blonde hair.
"Jasper!", I hissed, wanting to get his attention before he paired up with someone else.
"Hey!", he answered back, grinning. As soon as the teacher turned her back to write the guidelines on the board, he launched himself in a quick run through the chairs and landed with a loud thump in the one next to me, earning himself a few curious glances; I just snickered at the childish behavior. "How's everything?", he asked in a low voice, obviously meaning Alice.
"So far, all the same, but I'm hopeful", I answered, not particularly fond of dwelling on those issues for now. "Do you mind being my partner?"
"No ma'am", he answered in his southern drawl, making me grin.
"I could kiss you right now", I stated, getting on my feet as soon as the teacher finished the obvious guidelines. Behind me, I heard Jasper chuckle.
"Careful now, I'm not taken, I might take you up on that", he retorted, making me laugh. "So why are you so excited?"
He seemed curious and if I was to rush this in order to buy time, I might as well justify myself to the poor boy. It was now Tuesday, and tomorrow morning I and Edward had plotted to corner the teacher and force him to give us a hint as to who he'd choose.
Of course, that was the official version. The truth was, I was going to grab the opportunity and surrender the teacher my work; I was pretty sure Edward was thinking the exact same thing.
The problem was, I didn't have anything to deliver. Not yet, anyway; Dr. Sparrow was now my last resort, and if I didn't get hold of him that day, that'd be the end of it.
"I don't understand why you're rushing this; wouldn't you want it to last longer? So you guys could get to know each other?"
Averting my eyes to the brown stone buildings, I tried to reply as best as I could.
"I'm trying not to think about it just yet. I'm concentrating on the work, Jasper. It's what really matters"
I waited for an answer, but got none. When I finally turned to him I could see he was slightly smirking, but decided not to pursue the subject.
We ended up going to a small coffee shop near the campus and worked on my laptop, using Wi-Fi. He told me a bit more about his life back in Texas, and I found myself having the kind of quiet good time I came to crave. The fact I'd lived the last four years in Forks puzzled him the most; apparently, I projected the image of a big-city girl. Go figure.
About two hours and four lattes later, the paper was ready to print and turn in. I said goodbye to Jasper, thanking him once again for willingly rush the whole thing, and promised to myself I'd call him soon, maybe schedule a dinner and convince Alice to come along. I was almost positive she'd crumble once I gave her a complete description of his looks.
I all but ran back to my dorm room, adrenaline running through my veins. I had the last parts of strategizing to do. I could tell the day was shaping up to be pretty long.
Reeling in the mark. After a few phone calls, I was able to reach the office of the award winning orthopedic surgeon with multiple published works. I had made friends with his secretary the day before, knowing full well being nice took you a long way. When she started musing out loud after a possible opening on the good doctor's schedule that afternoon, I knew I'd struck gold.
After a lot of chasing around, we had an impromptu meeting over the phone, and I tried my best to convince him; truth be told, it was easy enough. He lived in Plymouth, so all it took was some well directed praise to boost his ego and assure him a vast audience interested in his riveting findings. About bones.
I immediately designed the poster, the flyers, and checked the available dates and hours for the auditorium, cross-referencing them with the time slots Dr. Sparrow supplied as most convenient to him. I wanted it to be a solid proposal, not just a might happen if all goes well kind of thing. Teachers liked creativity, but presenting them with a done deal was their wet dream.
By the end of the work day, I was beat. I knew I still had some Statistics notes to go over for the next day, but I put it aside; even though it wasn't a rainy day, it was cold and unpleasant. There was really not a lot to do in the room, and our dorm didn't have a living area or kitchen, so I just grabbed some snacks from the fridge – silently thanking Charlie – and settled in bed.
Only thing was, I wasn't sleepy at all. Sure, I got what I wanted, and the blue folder on my desk was the proof. But I was too restless to sleep, so I just decided to read a little from my very small private collection of books, just for half an hour or so.
Ten long chapters after, I was still wide awake. I put the book aside, shifting so I could see the time. Way too late for me to be that perky, but I couldn't help it; there was definitely something wrong with me. Hoping for something to lull me to sleep, even if it was out of boredom, I picked up my Statistics notes and went over them.
Alice arrived a little after two – and blinked in a confused state as to why I was still awake, just looking at the ceiling. Not even the crappiest, most annoying subject I had was able to rid me of my insomnia.
Giving in to it, I turned off the light and turned to the wall, remembering a couple of meditation exercises I once did, concentrating on my breathing.
And when did that crap ever work?
After turning and tossing for ages, I heard a muffled noise. My cell phone, vibrating on the nightstand.
I checked the time on my alarm clock; practically 4 a.m.; if I couldn't hear Alice's soft breathing on the bed next to mine, I'd be worried.
Reaching out, I read the message.
- If you're awake, go to your window -
It was Edward's; but how could he possibly know?
Reaching for my thick coat, I tiptoed to the window and pried it open carefully, so it wouldn't squeak, all the while worrying about waking Alice; fortunately, she didn't even flinch.
Looking down towards the back of my dorm, I saw a tall figure staring back at me. Even with the dim lighting, I could make out his white smile.
"What are you doing here?", I whispered out, unsure as to if he'd hear me.
"Couldn't sleep either", he replied. "Why are we whispering?"
"So my roommate doesn't wake up and yell at us", I bit back; I was in a foul mood to begin with, and he wasn't helping matters.
"Come down, then", he argued, but the night breeze wasn't very inviting.
"No, it's cold outside!"
I could hear him chuckling before adding:
"Do you want me to come up to your room?"
I fought back a gasp and forced myself to grimace down to him. I couldn't – and wouldn't – invite him up, but I didn't want to send him away either. And the night's sleep was already lost, so what would it hurt? At least, I'd have company.
"Just wait, I'll be down in a minute"
Receiving a flash of what I thought to be a smile, I pulled a thick soft white sweater over my jeans and slip back inside my coat. I smiled to Alice's sleeping form before shutting the door; if she were to wake up in the middle of the night, I'd be, for once, the one M.I.A.
When I got out of the dorm, there he was, waiting; and now I noticed the bag on his hands, a divine smell wafting away from it.
"What is that?", I asked, hungrily sniffing the air.
"Our breakfast", he responded, smiling, his eyes specked in gold from all the tall lamps in sight. Then his attention dropped to the insides of the bag, and I found myself wishing he'd look up again. "I didn't know what you'd like, so I brought my own favorites: Cappuccino with lots of foam and warm apple cinnamon bagels"
I bit my lower lip, dancing on the inside. I didn't have much of a dinner, and I was one to enjoy food and eating; my stomach wasn't too happy with my decision at all.
"Thanks, you read my mind", I responded, with a smile. But the awkwardness of the situation and my curiosity won out. "But, why did you show up here, this hour of the night?"
He handed me my warm caffeinated drink and bagel, without a word, his brows knitting in thought, and started walking beside me, while we sipped and ate. It took a while, or so it seemed, for him to decide what to tell me.
"I guess I was just nervous about tomorrow, and couldn't sleep. I figured the same might be happening to you, and since I'd be going to this coffee shop I know, it would be a nice gesture." Then a smirk overtook his lips as he said, "And this isn't, by any means, business hours, so we're allowed to share coffee"
I laughed with him, remembering my own words on Saturday, and nodded. I was still a little baffled by his actions – that he actually thought about me during a sleepless night and went out to act on it – but it pleased me and sounded logic, so it was fine by me. Probably sensing it, he went on speaking.
"I didn't want to knock on your door or something, I might get the wrong one, and I even considered throwing a rock at your window, but then I thought I might not get the right window or break the glass; that would just be my luck, so I settled for a message. If you were asleep, than it probably wouldn't have woken you anyway"
I chocked on the delicious food, before laughing out loud at his words.
"You honestly thought about throwing rocks at my window before sending a message?", I asked, finding it both amusing and cute.
"What can I say", he shrugged, the image of relaxation, "I'm a bit of an old-school kind of person"
I could see that easily.
"So, what's the plan?", I asked, finishing my bagel. Edward instantly gave me another, and I held back a smile at my own gluttony and his pampering ways.
"I don't really have one", he admitted. "Maybe just walk around and talk until morning hours, or you get sleepy, whatever suits you. I've always been kind of a night person myself; it has its own sounds, but it's still quiet"
"That would be great", I replied, a bit too excitedly for my own taste, but then thought about it a bit better. "But, on one condition." He turned to me then, curiosity written all over his face. I loved the way his skin flushed in contact with the cold wind, turning the stark contrast with his hair all the more evident. "No talking about work. Business hours are over"
He nodded in agreement, a small smile stretching over his lips.
"I kind of liked business hours; you're fun to rile up. Not everyone has it in them, but you're feisty, which makes it all the better"
And that was the last of that talk, for the night.
We approached such different topics: music, art, politics, and our interests. I was surprised to find that he had a soft spot for fast cars, whereas my love for cooking had him smiling at the, apparently, maternal image I projected.
We eventually sat at one of the little benches, watching the sun rise in the East. I soaked up all details I could in the comfortable position I found myself in – all his liked and dislikes, the ways in which he justified his opinion. But, of course, the tension was always there; I'd thought it was all because of the competition, but I'd been sorely wrong. Sharing those first spectacular and colorful moments of the sunrise with him made me realize the reason why.
Wednesday morning approached, too fast for my liking.
After being escorted back to my room, I began to ready myself for the meeting, my stomach clenching as my nerves finally let themselves show. I did the same routine I had rehearsed so well for stressful occasions such as test days. After a hot shower, I put on some of my favorite items of clothing – something I felt nice and confident in – and pulled my hair straight back in a sleek ponytail. It was all I could do to keep myself from losing my mind over the possibilities of what Edward had in store to impress Mr. Gaspard, and what would change when the choice was announced. I didn't want anything to change, but I wasn't that naïve. I knew him well enough to believe he wouldn't feel terribly wounded about a girl surpassing him, but still… How would he handle it? How would I handle it, if he got it?
I sipped my second cup of coffee of the day with as much calm as I could muster, instructing myself not to run towards the office in the deserted hallways. Still, I was the first one to arrive.
It took seeing Edward turn the corner for my anxiety to resemble a rabid animal clawing at my back.
"Good morning. Are you ready to do this?", he asked, a full blown smile appearing on his lips. The idea of having to part from him after this was physically affecting me, especially after the wonderful night.
"Good morning", I replied, in a little voice that didn't quite match up to his confidence. "I'm ready, how about you? Figured out a good way of getting the job?", I added, willing myself to just be a professional.
"Yes, I think I did", he simply answered, and kept looking into my eyes as if he was trying to unlock my thoughts.
I clutched the blue folder a bit more tightly, trying to get over how absurdly attracted I was to him – his presence, his voice, his face and body. I would take any little portion of him I could get. Even if, after this, we would only see each other a handful of times a week.
Blissfully unaware of our tension, or so it seemed, Mr. Gaspard came in, talking loudly about working early and less than understanding wives. As soon as he set down his briefcase, Edward spoke up.
"Sir, I was wondering if you'd be receptive to an idea of mine", he articulated in such a manner even I was impressed, and I was technically the competition.
"Yes, yes, please", the older man agreed, blinking twice and sitting down, obviously curious. We followed his lead, sitting – or, in my case, sinking – on the uncomfortable chairs.
"I was wondering if it would be possible for us to both continue to do the work… And just split the paycheck between us. That is, if Bella is ok with this…"
I was both shocked and ashamed by his words. As I mumbled an eager agreement, I couldn't stop mentally scolding myself.
Why had I let my competitive streak get the best of me? Why hadn't I thought of this simple, fair, wonderful solution?
Fear rose from the pit of my stomach, and I clenched my cold fingers around the edges of my blue folder yet again. What if I'd taken him too literally? What if he didn't even try to give me a run for this job… at all?
I scanned his figure for proofs of any work he had to show the teacher, but there was nothing. He hadn't done any work, he hadn't prepared as I did. Of course, he didn't think of me as a cold idiot; I'd thought of organizing a freaking lecture before something as natural as sharing.
"I'm sorry, but that won't be possible", the teacher replied, crossing his fingers in front of him and frowning. "I wasn't even supposed to have two assistants to begin with, and I got a nice scolding from the Science Department over it."
I saw Edwards face falling, his lips pressed in a tight line and his jaw set, and my self-loathe reached a new peak. We were doing this, liking it or not. The idea of both of us turning it down was preposterous; at least, one of us should get it, that was for sure.
I felt myself stiff and cold while Edward barked out his argument:
"Sir, this isn't remotely fair. We did this up until now, and I know you were happy about the results. So, how can we not be treated as equals?"
Equals. But if I was to give the teacher this folder… that would change everything. He'd see the additional work I'd spent the last four days going crazy about. I just knew the job would be mine after that.
The teacher ignored Edward's outburst, asking us a few more questions. There were no winners in sight, I could see that much.
How could I be about to betray him and wanting to soothe him all at the same time? Yes, that was exactly how I felt, like I was betraying him and the kindness he showed, believing we'd do this together.
But not handing in the folder? That would be pure, unadulterated idiocy on my part. I'd worked for this, to the best of my abilities, and deserved to have that rewarded. Wasn't that the definition of success? Succeeding over others? Only this was Edward, every bit as deserving as I was, or even more… Wouldn't I want a 50/50 percent chance?
Finally, the questioning seemed to draw to an end.
"So, is there anything any of you have to add to this?", Mr. Gaspard asked, visibly annoyed about our unplanned and less and productive meeting.
Hand him the folder, my mind insisted, and I swallowed a lump on my throat.
I looked up at Edward, who looked back at me, visibly distraught.
Hand the teacher the folder, Bella!, my mind screamed, but my hands wouldn't move. I wouldn't do it. I didn't know which part of me – the best or worst – had truly won the argument, but when I saw the teacher rising from his chair, I knew it was over.
My choice had been made.
And, according to Mr. Gaspard, I'd know the consequences of it by the end of the week.
Stepping out of the office, I took a long breath of relief.
"Are you ok, Bella?"
I looked up to meet Edward's sad green eyes, wishing I was brave enough to tell him what was really bothering me, but too ashamed to do so. I dumped the offending folder in the trash bag by the door with more than enough force, as if that would make it disintegrate and disappear.
"Yes, I am… I just really wished your idea had worked. Thank you for suggesting it", I answered, shifting on my feet.
"It would be perfect, but maybe it will all work out in the end"
I nodded, not trusting my own voice. Yes, it might work out… I just hoped I'd made the best decision, the fairest decision. I just hoped the fact I was falling hard for Edward had nothing to do with it.
Saying our goodbyes, we went our separate ways, but I could barely see what way I was going. The noise in my head was loud, one thought the loudest:
Stupid, idiotic, lovesick Bella.