Chapter 10

I'm looking up at the ceiling it has been 1 hour and I still can't get back to sleep. I can still hear their voices and feeling them touching me. I shiver It was only a dream Finnick. Only a dream. I know I will be seeing them today so I have to pull it together. I come to the conclusion that I won't be able to get back to sleep so I head off to the shower.

I get in the shower and at I first I think the skin on my face is peeling off but then I remember I never washed off the stuff that Louise put on my face. I was the mask that was on my face and just stand in the shower. I stand in the shower until my skin starts to get wrinkly. I step out and use a towel to dry myself. I look at the clock and realize I have been in the shower for almost 2 hours. I'm supposed to wake up in a 2 hours so we can start training for the interview with Caesar Flickerman. How do you train for an interview? Then I remember I need to put on the flirtatious pretty boy charm to get the attention from the ladies in The Capitol. I head out of my room because I don't wish to stay there it just brings memories to the terrible dream I just had. I go to the common room and plop down on the couch.

"Ugh.. how did I get myself into this mess." I say rather loudly because I figure no one else is around.

"Your name was picked during the reaping or did you forget that Finnick." His voice startles me. I turn and see James sitting in the kitchen area drinking wine. I wonder if he remembers what it's like to be a tribute I'm guessing he doesn't by the way he treats us.

"I was talking to myself." I sneer.

"That's fine as long as you don't answer yourself. Apparently that's a sign you are going crazy." James says while taking a sip from his wine.

"What are you even doing awake." I ask. I must admit I am curious because he can't be worried about Elle.

"I could ask you the same thing Mr. Odair."

Why did I even ask when I knew he wouldn't give me a straight answer. I would go back to my room but the memory of that nightmare is still in there.

"I can't sleep during the nighttime." James say abruptly.

"What do you mean you can't are you saying you physically cannot sleep during the night."

"I guess can't is the wrong word Mr. Odair the word won't is more fitting. I won't sleep during the nighttime."

"Why won't you sleep during the nighttime."

"Because of the nightmares."

"Nightmares?"

"Yes nightmares, well actually the doctors call them night terrors because they are more intense…"

"What are these night terrors about?"

"I don't want to scare you before you go into that arena Finnick." He says this with sadness in his voice.

"What do you mean? Why would this scare me?"

He sighs "Finnick after you win the games you have to deal with the repercussions of the things you did in the arena these effects can tear you apart and will most likely change your life forever."

"… You mean when you kill someone." I say this so softly I am surprised he can hear me.

"Yes… killing someone damages the human psyche. There are after effects that you are not aware of. If you win the games you will know what I am talking about."

"Do you really think I can win James?" I don't think about the after effects right now all I care about right now is winning.

James quietly laughs "Finnick take a step back and try and think about this from the point of view of a citizen from The Capitol."

"Well they see me as a piece in this crazy game and they also don't understand that killing people for sport is wrong."

James shakes his head "While that may be true Finnick I was thinking more along the lines of that you made every women and some men in The Capitol melt just because you gave them a smile in the opening ceremonies and the fact that you got a high score from the gamemakers also helped the citizens go wild for you."

"Well you're not my mentor why are you telling me this."

"Because Finnick I actually think that you are the obvious winner for the Hunger Games this year."

"What makes you think that just because I got a high training score doesn't mea—"

"It does matter Finnick especially when it comes down to getting sponsors however in your case you would be correct." He pauses as if he wants to say more. "I shouldn't be telling you this but most of the other mentors think you were given that score not for skills but for your good looks."

"What makes you say that?"

"You really don't see it do you Finnick?" James asks sounding very surprised.

"See what?"

"The people in The Capitol are very shallow."

"That I did know but why would the gamemakers just give me a better score because of that."

"Because Finnick the people in The Capitol have already fallen in love with you."

I look at him in shock. I haven't even said anything to these people and they already love me. What is wrong with people in The Capitol apparently with them all you need is a pretty face. I already knew they were shallow but now I think they have no depth at all.

"Mags already had a handful of sponsors for you after the opening ceremonies and after tonight I would say that you are well off. You could probably obtain anything that you needed in the arena.

I wonder if he is allowed to be sharing this information with me. I'm going to assume no.

"I have never seen anyone get so many sponsors before the interview with Caesar Flickerman that is when all the pregame sponsors usually come in. You don't even need those but I'm sure you will receive some. He laughs as if someone just told a funny joke.

"Mags will not have to try and sell her tribute to sponsors this year because she already has what she needs and then some for you."

"What about Elle?" I don't know why I'm asking this but I am curious I want to know how she is doing.

James smiles "I can't tell you everything Finnick. I have already broken a few rules by giving you some information. I can always blame it on the alcohol if anyone finds out." He points to the wine bottle.

James isn't that bad of a guy I think. Maybe it was all an act to make Elle more comfortable. I think of him when he is in town and he seems very approachable. I wonder if he does this for all of the tributes he has mentored.

"Even if I do have enough sponsors that is still not a guarantee that I will win. I could easily die in that arena."

"This is true. However with you being so popular already who knows."

"Are you saying that the games are rigged James?"

"To an extent everything is rigged. However in this situation I don't think so but I can tell you this Finnick, the odds are definitely in your favor." He says with a smile on his face.

"Well I think I will head back to my room now. Since I sense you want to be alone."

"I… no you can stay I don't mind." I really don't want to be alone besides talking to someone makes me forget about the nightmare.

"Fine I will stay if that is what you want." James say jokingly "What are you doing awake at this hour Finnick? Are you worried about your interview with Caesar Flickerman if you are I think you can stop worrying about that."

"No I wasn't nervous. I… had a nightmare." I look away quickly after I say this. I don't want to seem weak. Then again he can't sleep in the nighttime because he has night terrors.

"Would you like to talk about it Finnick?" He says in a comforting tone.

"I..."

"They say talking about it helps sometimes. However I'm not going to make you do anything you do not want to."

"That's a relief." I blurt out considering the nightmare I just had it makes sense.

"Why do you really think I am that bad? I tend to act the way I think my tributes will feel most comfortable with. But I never make them do anything they do not want to because I am not a cruel person despite what you have seen in the past couple of days."

"No it's not that… It has to do with the nightmare."

"Was someone making you do something you did not want to do?"

"... Yes"

"Were they making you kill someone you love?"

I shake my head.

"Was it someone you knew in the dream?"

"I've met them but I wouldn't say I know them."

"Someone you have recently come into contact with."

He doesn't ask this even though he is looking for confirmation.

"Yes"

"Was it Elle or another tribute because that is very common Finnick."

"Yes" I say yes because I don't want to talk about my real nightmare. Even if he says it will make it better I think just trying to forget will be better.

"Well that is not uncommon and you shouldn't feel embarrassed that you are having nightmares Finnick. I am a 35 year old man and I can't sleep unless the sun isup. We all have demons but to face them we have to admit what they are."

"That makes sense."

"See you feel better now. You just had to talk to someone about it."

"Yeah I guess you're right."

"I think if we go back to our rooms we could have a couple hours of sleep before all the madness happens."

We head back to our bedrooms even though I get the feeling neither of us will be sleeping. I try and think about everything James has said. Could he be telling the truth? But why would he lie, he would have nothing to gain from this. I think I can't wrap my head around from that conversation was that he strongly implied that the games were rigged and that they would be in my favor. But why would the gamemakers care if I won. Just because the people in The Capitol love me shouldn't mean anything to them. I'm sure they would get over my death as soon as the victor was crowned and they would be Finnick Odair? Never heard of him. They wouldn't be able to gain anything if I won besides most victors are forgotten about by the time the next games roll around. I'm sure if I won it would be the same thing.