New Galactic Solutions

by keiman and kei

For the very first time ever, Gallifrey and the 3WA have a liaison officer. Subaltern Allison V Prydonia is a youngish (130) time lady and the youngest Councilor. This tale tells of her very first combined 3WA/Gallifreyan mission aboard her new 'flagship' and her new TARDIS. This will be the final 'rift in time' sequel which began so many yrs back w/ 'Xmas w/ the Dirty Pair.

10. Ch 9 'The Game's Afoot'Commodore Beta

NEW GALACTIC SOLUTIONS

Chapter 9 'The Game's Afoot' or 'Commodore Beta Zoid!'

DISCLAIMER: Hi! I have been asked to do the necessary honours this time around but the Boss does not yet wish for me to disclose my identity to you just yet. First, we thank generously Haruka Takachiho and all of the other creators whose works, characters, places, locales and/or other creations we have been using or may soon use. Likewise, anyone who likes can use any of our own creations so long as they give credit where credit is due.

Now let me introduce you to this chapter's narrator. Meet Mrs Jonathan Caldy, OK, Romana Mandlinkova Caldy, Romy for short. It is now time for the first two ships to lift off for 'Ligorius' and Mount Chaos where the 'Dekka' 'Shadow Sword' entrusted to Captain Janelle Huntley, commander of the 'Daedalus' and the 'Dark Bring 'shadow stones' entrusted to Commodore Deanna Troi, commander of the 'Coriander' will be 'unmade' in the gigantic volcano.

1100 hours (11 AM) and I must hurry and board the 'Daedalus' where I am a systems technician so come on, K-9. K-9 is my little data doggie or mobile computing unit that stayed behind with me on the other side of the 'Warrior's Gate' mirror in 'Existential Space' to protect me and now he protects every one of our friends including my hubby, Jonny Calder.

How we escaped from 'Warrior's Gate' is another story that I may tell you some day in the future. OK! I heard the klaxons, Dog Boy! Well, I'm to take up the tale for a bit so I will meet you in a few minutes aboard Janey's newes and first command.

"That 'Noxode DiTroxyline' mixture is a mite rich, Number One. There. How does the 'yaw' feel now, Mr Smith? Good. K-9, plug into the 'Farin Array' banks and keep a watchful eye on that fuel mixture. Understood?" I said.

"Affirmative, Mistress. You need nourishment, Mistress. You skipped your breakfast this morning, you naughty Mistress. How do you expect to grow up big and strong, Mistress?" replied K-9 who treats me more like his sister or daughter than his Mistress, the old mother hen.

"If Romy promises to eat a big breakfast, will you shut up, ya metal monstrosity?" growled Jonathan Smith's co-pilot, Warrant Officer First Class Mark Gordon.

"That is not logical, Master. It is bribery, Master. Stand by for lift off. Counting down. Five, four, three, two, one, zero and we have lift off, Masters and Mistress. Ladies and gentlemen, you may now unstrap and move around the vessel. Mistress! Master Jonathan is playing 'Texas Hold 'Em' poker with the Texas Rangers group from Terra. Mistress! He is cheating and I believe that Ranger Parker knows this fact, Mistress." said K-9 and I took off for the lounge, OK, the rec room if you insist on being politically correct.

"But I assure you CD, on 'Shimougou', the stand deck does have sixteen aces, sir." whined my husband, who was prevaricating to high heaven!

"Since when, pardner?" drawled one of our other pilots, General Han Solo who was sipping a Margarita at the bar with his wife, Supreme Commander Leia Skywalker Organa Solo.

"He tried that ploy on me last month, Mr Ranger." added Subaltern Revy Roberts, one of our gunners.

"And what did you do, ma'am if ya don't mind my askin'?" inquired the big retired of sorts Texas Ranger.

"She decked his keester, CD." answered her gunner partner, First Lt Neko Orson with a laugh.

"Now, now, play nice, kiddies. Mr Caldy? Didn't you 'accidentally' mix in a few viddy cards from another deck or two? (He dropped his voice to a whisper) Just give him back his swag, Stupid! Otherwise, he's gonna pulverize ya fer certain sure!" said Uncle Hiram MacDougal, trying to avoid a donnybrook.

"Aw, I was only bluffin' anyhow. Yer pot, Mr Parker, sir. Oh, hi Romana, love. How long you been here?" replied Jonathan Caldy.

"Long enough, Jon and just in time too, lover boy. Ain't you supposed to be checking our fuel lockers?" I replied.

"Oh yeah I was, wasn't I, Lovey Dovey? Better deal me outta this hand, fellas. See ya later, Romy. Bye." said my hubby.

"Care to play, Mizz Caldy?" asked Ranger Parker but I declined. I detest gambling of any sort so naturally I married one, right?

"Anyone seen our new Boss around, guys?" I asked because I was worried about that fuel mixture problem.

Hey! I am used to piloting TARDISes not starships!

"She be up in the 'star room', Romana. I need to talk to her as well. I say, Katrina? Those scones and urn o' java ready for me yet?" said Uncle Hiram. A lovely medium blonde stunner was this afternoon's barkeep and where we latched onto that beauty I do not know. Oh wait, she's Mr 'Q's cousin and she's visiting from the 'Q Continuum'. She must have come over from the 'Coriander' with Captain Kiva (Nerese).

Kiva came aboard the 'Daedalus' when she chose a disk with a black spot during the 'lottery' festivites at the Academy. I know she was pretty pissed off when the powers that be transferred her command of the Starfleet's 'Coriander' over to Commodore Troi! Speak o' the devil!

Serving behind the other end of the bar was Kiva Nerese! What a comedown! From starship captain to barmaid! In fact, the poor thing was now outranked by the Beta Zoid now commanding Kiva's old ship! I must have seemed glum to Hiram.

"Dinna ye be a-worryin' and a-frettin' about Kivvy none. She's in command o' the 'Grant' and she's got her own min-mission once we get to 'Ligorius', Romy. Ah! Done at last. Thankee Katrina, me dearie. Mind carryin' these scone for me, Romy?" said Hiram MacDougal, our resident archaeologist and I smiled at him and carried the huge tray of Scottish delights.

"Snacktime, Janey! Put away them vid-docs and come over here and have some good scones and creamery butter fresh from Fiona's contented cow! Ye dinna know that Charlie's Fiona made her own butter, cream and cheeses? Bless me soul! A wee block o' 'Stilsdale Stilton' cheese for us! I say! Would ye care to say the blessin' fer us, Father?" said Hiram when he espied the 'Minister of the Ice Roads', Father Alex, standing by the 'star window'.

"My pleasure, Sir Hi. Mmmmn! Those smell good! I love scones especially Finny's! Oh Lord, for what we're about to dig into, may ye make us truly grateful. Amen. Let's eat!" said Alex D, dragging one of the big easy chairs over to the table and helping himself to half a dozen scones and butter.

I must admit that they tasted a lot better than the ones I had tried to bake for Jonny back home after our honeymoon had ended and we had returned home. Home. I wonder what the Brig's doing since we are both missing along with K-9 and those two timeships we, er, 'borrowed' from UNIT?

Jonny swears that Sub-Brigadier Dastun told him we could take the two prototype ships out for a spin but that was months ago! Knowing Alexander James Lethbridge-Stewart though, he has probably scrambled John Raven's 'KASP' squadron from Ganymede and sent him off to find us!

"Senny for 'em, Romy?" chuckled Angie de Roncesvalles who loved Stilton cheese and had cut off a generous wedge for herself and she was now munching away on it. Oh, a 'senny' is the smallest Universal currency denomination on 'Shimougou'. It's worth about a thousandth of a Terran penny I believe.

"I was just wondering what the penalty is at UNIT for swiping a prototype time starship without proper authorization and not bringing it back in a reasonable period of time. Maybe Alex will understand why we still ahve not returned them though." I replied mysteriously.

"Maybe I will understand what, my child?" asked the 'Minister of the Ice Roads' and I grinned.

"Sorry, wrong Alex, Father." I giggled.

"Did you mean me, Romana?" asked the Terran Dallas assistant DA, Alex Cahill who was soon to become Mrs Cordell Walker as she had confided to a few of us gals. She had found a pair of high-powered vid-binoculars from somewhere and she was trying in vain to see Terra, her home world! Good luck, girl. Terra was a good ten billion 'lightys' in the opposite direction from what she saw from that 'star window'!

"Nope. Alexander Lethbridge-Stewart, our Boss at UNIT was to whom I was referring, Al. After all, he probably thinks we deliberately stole those two timeships down belowdecks. I sure miss him and the other guys, especially Dan-o Dastun and Jimmy Moriarity." I sighed.

"Does Jonny Caldy know about them and you, Lovey?" laughed Angie and I got quite red in the face. Both Dan-o and Jimmy were happily married and had been a lot longer than me and Jon had. Just then the ship lurched hard to starboard (right) and I found myself in Ranger Walker's lap! Seems that the poker session had broken up and all hands had trooped up here to find Alex Cahill.

"Honey! It ain't like it looks! Honest! I was just sittin' here mindin' my own business when all of a sudden I had Mrs Caldy sittin' on my lap! Honest! That's the truth, Alex!" said a very embarrassed Ranger Walker. His fiancee just giggled and went back to her hopeless task of finding home.

"Your father has explained everything to Mr Stewart, my dear and as of the time we picked you up, you and that rascally chap you married have been on indefinite extended leave. On the books, you are 'testing out' those two timeship prototypes that you, er, appropriated, shall we say? Anyway, nothing to worry about. I say! Who's filched all the Stilton? Miss MacCrimmon promised to send me some and now it's all gone! Which one of you is the little piggie? Aha! It was Angela, eh? Well, maybe Katty or Kivvy can find some more for us. I will make enquiries for us. Drat! Now I am out of tea as well!" complained the 'Mad Hatter', Doctor #6 and he scuttled down the hallway, empty teapot in his hand.

"I do hope that Finny sent some more Stilton along. Poor chap's been looking forward to that stuff all day. A bit potty though, in the head as it were, eh? Always wears that outlandish hat and suit and always carries around a teapot just like that fella Alice Liddell told me about last month.

"I say, my dear? Miss Cahill? You do know that you cannot possibly see your home world from here, don't you? It's the other way. (She smiled and headed for the opposite 'star window') And it's 10 billion light years away from us, nowhere near the range of those vid-binocs. Come and have something to eat with us. Where's my Calabash?" said the jolly old archaeologist.

"Not much out there anyway it seems." moaned Alex Cahill.

"That's the way it is in 'E-Space', Miss Cahill." explained Adric the mathematical genius who was Allison's Dad's and #5's companion who had come from a world that had something to do with a full circle of something or other.

"Huh? What the Pecos Bill's boots is 'E-Space', sonny?" asked a befuddled Ranger CD Parker.

"E stands for 'existential', CD. It's a place that isn't really anywhere. It's there but it's not there. You can be there yet you aren't really there. Understand, CD?" replied a helpful Ranger Jimmy Trivette, confusing the Hell outta the lot of us.

"That ain't all that's not all there, Dog Boy. Your turn." whispered Kouga the wolf youkai demon who was playing 'Go Fish' with InuYasha the big hanyou half demon/half teenaged boy.

"Technically, the ranger is quite correct, old grandfather. 'E-Space' exists outside of the known Universes. This planet 'Ligorius' where we are headed can only be reached by negotiating 'E-Space' and then breaking out of it back into normal space. Now do you understand better, old grandfather?" explained an always helpful Adric.

"Listen to me, boyo! I ain't yer grandpappy and I ain't old neither! When was you born, boy?" snapped CD Parker.

"In your time differentials, the year would be AD 2417, sir. And you?" answered the math whiz innocently.

"None o' yer durn beeswax, boy! Git back to yer figgerin', Adric. Cordell! If this really is AD 2256 then do ya know how old I'd be?" demanded a very astounded and astonished retired Texas Ranger.

"Let's just say that none of us are spring chickens anymore, old grandfather, sir." chuckled Ranger Walker.

"Now don't you start too, Cordell! I think I'll take a little nap before dinner and no cracks from you, Jimmy Trivette! See ya all at dinner or supper or whatever they call chow time aboard this thing we're aboard!" said the older Ranger.

"Wanna toss around the old pigskin, Jimmy? They still have that old football field on Hollydeck 4 and Janey said we can use it if we wanna." said Cordell Walker and Jimmy beamed at him. I'd been told that Jimmy had once played wideout receiver for the Dallas Cowboys in the NFL back on ancient Terra. We all decided to go watch football practice which was a good thing because nobody else knew how to 'call the Arch' besides me and Janey.

"Walker and me will show ya how it's done and then anyone who wants to try it can come on down and try it. Ready, Walker?" called Jimmy from midfield. Cordy was way back around the 20 metre line.

"Here it comes, Jimmy! See if ya can catch it!" yelled back Walker and he dropped back, cocked his arm and threw with all his might. Unh uh! Was this deck still set for 15 G Force or had it been set back to normal gravity after the big game? We'd all find out damned soon!

WHOOSH! Jimmy leaped 30 metres straight up and missed the ball which rocketed past at about a thousand kilometres an hour! It hit the far end 'wall' and caromed back our way!

"Duck! Everybody hit the deck!" I screamed.

"Incoming! Get down!" cried Janey as the out of control spheroid bounced back and forth 50 times before it gently floated down onto the field when Wolfie and Sesshomaru finally managed to set the gravity force back to normal. Normal for deep space anyway.

"Sorry. Wanna try that again, Mr Cordy?" yelled InuYasha and he lobbed the ball back to Ranger Walker. InuYasha's toss was going at a mere 400 kph when it hit poor Cordy in the solar plexus with the force of a neutron bomb and knocked him galley west!

"Send in my backup quarterback, please." said the tall Ranger and Suba Revy Roberts trotted out to pick up the ball.

"A girl? Ya gotta be kiddin', babe! Well, let's see what ya got, Honey. Sure ya know what ye're doin'?" laughed Jimmy.

Poor soul. Revy'd been backup quarterback in our last match and her team had won, thanks in some small part to her six touchdown passes and three interceptions that she had run back for scores! Oh and the team called her 'Rocketbomb Roberts'.

"You ready, Trivette? (Jimmy nodded and stomped his foot) Here she comes! Catch!" she yelled and then she launched a real rocket which Angie clocked at 517.886 kph straight downfield and into the waiting mitts of Ranger Trivette who, unfortunately for his ribs, decided to hold onto!

ZANG! He was propelled backwards for almost a hundred metres until he crashed into the energy drinks table and decided to go to sleep when an urn of cold fruit juice crashed onto his poor noggin! That was enough for Captain Huntley who decided that she didn't want to lose any more of her crew members and passengers. Dr Mike and Nurse Dixie were sent for to treat the wounded warriors and I closed up the holodeck before I followed everyone to 'sick bay' where it seemed that Jimmy ahd sustained a 'mild concussion' and poor Cordy Walker had 'three cracked ribs' and a very 'sore behind'!

Had they sustained those injuries on a world's surface, it would have meant several weeks in hospital and an equal number of weeks of physical therapy. We were in deep space when they'd been injured so Jimmy would be his old self in half a solar day while Cordy'd be 'fit as a fiddle' by tomorrow morning! Injuries heal lightning fast in deep space.

However, it did mean that we were short one computer analyst and one tail gunner's mate until the morrow. Then Captain Julia Janelle Huntley made one of the worst mistakes of her short career!

"Romy? I want you to handle computer anlysis until Jimmy's better and I want Jon to fill in for Ranger Walker on the quad guns back there." said our inexperience new commander.

"Me and Jonny? My Jonny? Honey, you have got to be kidding!" I replied. Janey misinterpreted my answer as being insubordinate to her authority!

"I just gave you a direct order, Lt Caldy and I expect it to be carried out and that goes for Warrant Officer Caldy as well. It will only be for a single solar day at most so all will be well. What could possibly go wrong? Dismised." replied the new Boss.

The problem was that I was used to state-of-the-arts computing units not the ancient antique junk on 23rd Century 3WA starships! The other problem was that my husband loved to play with weapons! Give him a plasma rifle and he'll shoot out all the windows at the Academy! Have any of you ever seen the damage that can be caused and the havoc that can be wreaked with a single blaster, let alone four 'quad' guns? And our new commander had just handed all four of 'em over to my Jonny!

Orders is orders so I used my comm badge and delivered Milady's ultimatum to Jon. He was at his tail gunner's mate post in jig time. I tried to explain to him that he was not to play with the guns' controls. Then I trudged back to the foredeck bridge up front and tried to at least pretend to analyze this old 'Windows 317' junk for errors.

At 1700 hours or dinnertime one, we were all asked to remain at our bridge posts because it was important that we exit 'E-Space' at exactly 1717 hours.

"What if we miss that 'window'? What's the big deal?" asked Alex Cahill whom we were using as a scanning officer.

"Not much, Counselor. We'll just go spinning off into 'U-Space' between the Universes somewhere, that's all." I replied.

"What's 'U-Space'?" asked Ranger Parker who insisted on protecting Alex.

"U for Unknown, grand- I mean Ranger, sir." answered Adric who was busily calaculating our 'jump' co-ordinates.

"And then we will, in all likelihood, be stuck here forever." drawled Han Solo, our pilot this shift.

"Jeepers! Maybe even longer, guys!" added the scatter-brained brunette 'Dynamite Kiss Doll', Blackie. Why she was up here as a foregunner was beyond me. She was on the disruptors and her blonde partner, Eveie was on photon torpedoes. At least the 'Blonde Bomber', Minnie Mae 'Kitten' Hopkins and her partner 'Rally 'Cat' Vincent had drawn red spotted disks and were aboard the 'Coriander'.

"Got them figgers yet, Adric?" drawled Han and Adric began reading off numbers rapidly.

"Hang on to something, folks. This is gonna be a real tight turn." drawled our pilot and I strapped myself and Blackie into our seats as tightly as I could manage. Then Han yawed us to port (left) and it felt like the 'Dae' was getting ready to pretend it was really the 'Poseidon'! However han quickly corrected the ship's trim and made a beeline for a red glowing sector dead ahead of us.

"That's our exit, kids. First star on the right then straight on until we break free if Adric really did earn that badge for mathematical excellence and didn't just pick it up on /kg. What the Hell? Hey! Romy! Trim that fuel mixture down a trife, will ya? (I adjusted the neutron flow and reversed her polarity) Yeah, that's got it! We are back in 'N-Space' at last. Nyssa? We still on course?" asked Han but the Trakken girl shook her head. Tegan had been seated beside her and frowned at the array in front of them.

"We seem to be a 'tad' offcourse, Captain Solo." said the Terran Aussie girl who would be an airliner flight attendant if she ver got back to some place called 'Heathrow' in London.

"Define a 'tad', Lt Jovanka." demanded Subaltern Sesshomaru who was this shift's chief of security.

"Half a million 'lightys', give or take a 'parsec' or two." answered Nyssa. I wished that Zoey Morton had not drawn a blank disk that fateful day back at the Academy! She was a crackerjack navvy but we had Nyssa and Nami Richards and Zoey had trained them both or so they claimed.

"Adric? Find the new co-ordinates for 'Ligorius', please and hurry it up!" shouted Nyssa.

"It won't do any good to get upset, girl." soothed Tegan.

"I am not getting upset, you purple-headed booby!" snapped Nyssa.

"I like that, dammit all! This new hairdo and colour was your idea, Trakky, not mine!" yelled Tegan.

"Looky there, pardners! That big chunk o' ice out there looks just like Texas! Whaddya know 'bout that, folks." said CD.

"Hard a-starboard, Solo! We're headed right into that asteroid!Now, Dumbass!" screamed Nami who had just wandered onto the bridge.

"Get into a flight suit, Pirate Girl! You'll catch your death in those pajamas or whatever ya call 'em!" said Eveie. Then I had a brainstorm and apparently, so did the Boss.

"Eveie! Two photons right into that damned thing and I mean now! That's a darned order too!" cried Janey Huntley.

"Aye aye, mum! Two away! Shields up somebody! Quick!" replied the blonde 'DK Doll' and I reached forward and hit the shields switches which caused a silvery green halo to surround the ship's exterior. Still the shockwave was at least 35 G Force in strength!

"Ouch!" I cried as my strap split and I was hurled into the far bulkhead wall, striking my right temple. I felt a wet trickle down my cheek and I ripped off my white flight scarf and used it to staunch the blood flow. Then I heard someone screaming for Dr Mike to come to the bridge.

The next thing I knew was that the Ninja girl Sakura Haruna was doing something with her hands which were held inches from my wound. I felt a warm dry heat which seemed to be emanating from her fingers! Then Lt Commander McCall was swathing my head in a pink bandage which was rapidly turning to a dull grey meaning that the healing had already begun.

Rin and Shippou were racing around the bridge trailing pink bandages all over the place. Han yelled for Sess to 'get his brats under control' and the kids were whisked off the bridge. Then Adric had even more bad news. Now we were three quarters of a million 'lightys' off our course!

"Dammit! I wish to Hell that we were already on 'Ligorius'! Ooh! That smarts!" I whined. Careful what you wish for.

"Granted!" shouted Azagorn, our resident 'Djinn'.

CRUNCH! PLOP! We had just landed somewhere!

"Keep our shields up until we find out if we are at our true destination. Counselor Cahill? Launch a probe." ordered the Captain and a sphere of Kelvinite about the size of a shot put ball was soon hovering in front of the ship. Those spooky things reminded me of those old Terran vidfilms where the people are being chased by spheres with spears in them all through an old mausoleum building.

Anyway, their vidcams were showing us a world that resembled 'Gysymeo' but the outer temp readings were close to 60 Kelvin or around forty Fahrenheit. Nowhere near as frigid as 'Gysymeo'.

"Looks like 'Friggia' to me." observed Dale Arden and her hubby, 'Flash' Gordon agreed.

"Oho! So we have landed on 'Ligorius' at last, have we? Anyone want some fresh tea?" said Doctor #6.

"Have we, Doctor?" asked Adric and the Hatter used the spout of his teapot to point towards the sky where six moons shone brightly overhead.

"There are her six moons. What more proof do you 'Doubting Thomases' need? Drat! Mr Holmes was using my teapot to analyze that ancient poison. Now the tea's all ruined!" sulked the Doctor. Mark Gordon and Han Solo spit tea out all over the consoles.

"Can we go out and play now, mum? Please?" pleaded 'Teen Titan' Starfire who was supposed to be on kitchen detail.

"Hmmn, let me see here. Gravity just a shade above normal G Force. Breatheable atmosphere. Any sign of life forms, K-9?" asked the Doctor.

"Negative, Master. You are dripping tea on me, Master. I do not wish to short circuit, Master." replied K-9 and Nyssa wiped him off with the hem of her space tunic. We certainly couldn't afford to lose poor K-9. Then our bearer of bad tidings had more bad news for us.

"It seems that this is 'Ligorius' but Mount Chaos is clear over on the opposite side of the planet. Three more days of travel. Unless we use the TARDIS, Doctor?" said Adric.

"Ooh! Can we, please? Please, funny looking man with silly hat? Please? I like riding in the TARDY thingys! Please?" whined Starfire and the Doctor smiled and nodded.

"Everyone in the climbing party to the 'Grant' or the 'Arthur' by 0900 hours tomorrow morning. Keep a skeleton crew on the bridge and post some guards outside just in case. Number One, you have the comm. The rest of you are dismissed. I'll be in the rec room. We never had any dinner, did we? I'll have food sent up for the bridge crew." said Captain Huntley and she left.

"Ya wanna take turns goin' down to put on the old feed bag? I'll hold down the fort up here." drawled Han and I could have kissed him! Lunch had been some scones, toast and java in the 'star room' and I was famished!

Nami had already eaten and Mark preferred to rep up his own so the 'DK Dolls', Angie, Nyssa, Adric and myself all went down to dinner together. The new Boss Lady, Uncle Hiram, Doctor #6, Periwinkle Brown, Jonathan Snith, Jon Caldy, Gene Starwind and several others including that 'time lady' friend of Allison Prydonia (Rodan Archipelago) were poring over land and sky charts at a separate table.

Kagome told me that the 'brain trust' group was trying to find the fastest and safest way for the shuttles to take tomorrow to get to Mount Chaos.

"Why? Azzy here can just take the 'Daedalus' there if someboy wishes it, can't he?" asked Rio DelCroix.

"No, my dear child. Such a wish would be beyond my powers because Mount Chaos exists in 'E-Space'. This is normal space." explained the huge 'Djinn' who had decided to change his form to that of the ancient Terran cowboy movie hero, John Wayne.

"So?" asked Fllaysie Allster who was shoveling in food faster than a Saiyaan tonight. There must be another sale on Zamazon coming up later this evening.

"My powers are limited to 'N-Space'. I have none in 'E-Space'. I have already done all I am permitted to do by suggesting the quickest and safest route for you to take to reach this mountain. Alas, I can do no more for my dear 'Waker'." he replied.

"Then just have Gene and Han fly this tub over to the place, durn it! Pass them spuds, please." said Ranger Parker. Even Alex Cahill stared at the older fella like he had just suggested raising the dead!

"I dunno next to anything about these quantum mechanics things and block transfer computations and I do not pretend to know. However, I do know that we darned near flipped this vessel when we broke out of 'E-Space' to get to this ice place. Adric? What are the odds of this vessel surviving another little spacial 'jump' this soon after the last one?" asked the Terran counselor.

"Two hundred billion, one hundred thirty million, five hundred sixteen thousand, three hundred four point six eight nine- against another successful 'jump', Mistress." answered K-9 and a few nano-seconds later, Adric confirmed the bad news. Did this kid ever have any good news for us?

"How about using Doc's blue phone booth? That thing travels through dimensions, don't it?" suggested Ranger Walker who was sporting a cast on his left arm. Seemed he got more than just a few cracked ribs on the holodeck.

"Guess we can't just drive over there, huh? I'd love to try out that cool Corvette, man. Va-va-va-Voom, baby!" asked Ranger Trivette who was nursing a twisted ankle.

"Over my dead body will I let a copper drive my baby!" replied Todd Stiles.

"Anybody see any roads out there, podners?" asked a grim-faced Ranger Parker. That settled that.

"Ahem. My blue phone booth as you call it was put aboard here to be used as an emergency rescue vessel. We don't know what will happen when that sword and those pebbles are 'unmade' in Mount Chaos and the 'G-Boys' wanted you to be prepared for any eventuality, children. Ah! Katty did find me some Stilton after all. Bless you, ny dear and do thank Finny for me next time you see the old dear. Get your paws off my cheese, Angela! I say! No crisps?" explained the 'Mad Hatter'.

"Won't the shuttley things have to 'jump' into 'E-Space' too?" asked Tegan Jovanka who seemed to be smitten by Commodore Legato Bluesummers who had just come into the room. Her hopes were rewarded when Blue strode over to our table and sat down.

"They're still at it, huh? Azzy tried to tell 'em how to get there but they know it all, dammit. I sure as Hell don't fancy making another 'jump' with the 'Grant' when there's a perfectly good 'vortex hole' we can use that will take us right to the foot of Mount Chaos. Oho! Looks like a decision has been made. Here comes Janelle now with Scotty." said Blue.

"Where is Azagorn? I see now that his suggestion is the only safe one for us. Janey agrees with me. Hullo there, Blue. Come over to ask our flight hostess to trip the light fantastic and share a bottle of bubbly with you at the party?" chortled Uncle Hiram.

Blue coloured and Tegan's face was as red as a sugar beet on the Boss's Dad's farm in New Yorkey!

"What party?" demanded Alexandra Cahill so Uncle Hi and Janey told her and us how they had decided we would have a party tonight since who knew how many days it might be before we were all together again. She left an unspoken thought dangling in mid air until our big hanyou put that thought into words.

"We dunno who might get killed before we finish the mission is what she's tryin' to say. Like most girls though, she ain't got the guts to say it. Any more ramen?" said InuYasha just before Kagome cried 'Sit Boy!' causing the poor guy to crash onto the table!

"Dammit wench! I didn't say nuttin' wrong, did I?" he howled and Kouga whispered into one of his doggie ears. Then InuYasha apologized and sat down to eat his ramen. Yuck! I hate that stuff! Jonny loves it!

Just then Azzy materialized beside the table as Randolph Scott and pointed out the exact location of the 'vortex hole' and then patiently traced out the route to get to it safely. Legato and Gene Starwind who was to pilot the 'Arthur' for us seemed satisfied and they all left for the bar.

"What's a 'vortex hole' asked Blackie and her blonde partner rinned at the dim-witted brunette. Eveie knew that Blackie thought it was something that could not be spoken of in front of young kids! Hey! That was the way that DK Doll's mind saw things it seemed.

"A 'vortex' is an opening in the aether or atmosphere, kiddo so I guess a 'vortex hole' is a way to pass from one place to another. Does that sound about right, Commodore Blue?" replied Eveie who was on our sixth gin and tonic. Blue tossed down his third 'neat' Skotch and nodded.

"Right ya are, Sweetie. Only difference between a 'vortex hole' and that thing we 'jumped' through is that it's stable. I mean it's always there. The 'hole' we came through fluctuates and dematerializes sometimes before it rematerializes someplace else so ya never can be sure exactly where it is or where it'll land ya. Hey Miroku! Anther G&T for the ladies and I'm all outta Skotch again! Did I ever tell ya about that time I single-handedly defeated Lord Oakbrain? It was like this-" said Legato but I had heard that story far too many times so I sat down at a table to watch Sherlock and John W shoot some pool.

"Not at all like those billiards that you play with Thurston back home, eh, Watson? Blast! That shot was off by three centimetres! Your shot, my dear fellow." said the great detective.

"No indeed, Holmes. This table has 'pockets' to hold the balls. Now do I have the 'solids' or the 'stripes'? Of course, you have the 'stripes' so I have the 'solids'. Let me see if I can coax that 'four' ball into that side pocket. Got it! Hello! Dropped the 'seven' ball in the far corner for good measure. Still my turn what?" chortled the genial doctor from Victorian London and I felt a tap on my shoulder.

"Sorry to pull you away from this exciting match, my dear but Dog Boy and Kouga have found something strange outside. I took a gander with K-9 and he asked me to have you take a look, Romy if you would be so kind?" whispered the 'Mad Hatter' Doctor #6 to me and I nodded and pulled on my parka.

A few minutes outside so I did not figure that I needed the eavy fur boots, cap and gloves. Zipping up my parka, I stuck my hands in my pockets and followed him to the transporter room. Ari helped me to pull up the hood of my parka to cover my hair before she made sure that the Doctor and I were in position before she activated the beams.

'Beaming' was old hat to me and to the 'Hatter' so we did not even flinch when we were first 'disassembled' and then almost immediately 'reassembled' outside of the 'Daedalus'. The cold hit me like a pile driver and I went to my knees! The big hanyou and the wolf and the two big Saiyaans Goku and Vegeta helped me to my feet. I was shivering all over and wished fervently that I had taken along cap, gloves and worn those fur boots!

"Holy Rassilon's toes! It's bloody freezing out here dammit! What have you four idiots found that's so damned important anyway?" I said rather crossly while I was stomping my feet to keep the blood circulating! Both of my hearts were pounding like triphammers and I was sneezing like crazy!

"It's this thingy here, Romy baby. See?" howled Kouga the wolf youkai demon. He was almost screaming to be heard above the terrific solar winds which #6 told me were blowing at close to 200 kilometres per hour! I sneezed and looked down into a reflecting pool!

Well, I could see my frostbitten face in it anyhow. Then I recognized the strange object at my feet and I knelt down to examine it more closely. A few seconds later, I had seen enough and I ordered the 'pig squad' to carry it to the transporter pads which they did. Then I used my comm badge and screamed at poor Ari to 'beam us all back aboard'.

"Hold on, Romana! I dunno about this 'Boss' but our old one would have six kittens, a conniption and a catfit to boot if there was nobody left on guard outside of a ship on the surface of an unknown world! Kakkaroth (Goku's real Saiyaan name according to Mr Brief) and I will remain here, Lt." said Vegeta and I nodded in agreement.

"Send out some more hot chocolate and burgers, Lady Lt Romana, please? A couple of hundred should tide me over." said Goku.

"Better have 'em double that order, Romana. I'm out here too and I'm just as hungry as Kakkaroth. Thank you." added Vegeta.

I think we were all glad to be back aboard and out of that cold. I did not envy those Saiyaans whose shift would not end until midnight. The 'soul reapers' were drawing straws to see who had to replace them and the demons. InuYasha and Kouga carefully carried the strange object they had discovered to the 'star room'. I wanted to examine it a little bit better before I called in Uncle Hiram and the Boss.

"What the heck is it, Roman Candle?" asked InuYasha and why I had acquired that nickname was beyond me!

"It's on accounta your weird hair-do and your habit o' goin' off like a firecracker, Romy." explained Legato Bluesummers who was smoking by the 'star window'.

"This, gentlemen, is called a 'palantir' or a 'scrying glass'. It is used to send pictures of events across vast distances. How one ended up here on an uninhabited world I have not got the foggiest notion. Nor do I now how to activate the thing. Have we perhaps got a sorcerer aboard?" I chuckled merrily but Blue's face was grave.

"Are you sure that is just a sending device, Romana? I somehow recall Vicious having one and it predicted the future." he said.

"What did he do with it I wonder?" I asked softly.

"Jettisoned it into space by accident during his attempt to swipe the EDEN Project 'seedling'. It could have drifted this far I suppose. Pretty thing, ain't it?" replied Blue and I nodded. I accepted a cheroot and a light from him and then I bent to my task. Blue excused himself and left. I ordered the 'Demonic Duo' to return to their guard duties outside and they grudgingly left.

"Found one, Romy. Orphen, this is Lt Romana Caldy but we just call her Romy. Orphen's a real live sorcerer first class, kid. Let him have a peek at yer new bauble." said Blue and I stood up to give the newcomer more room to examine the 'palantir'.

"A 'scrying glass', huh? (He produced a small brush and began sweeping off the snow and ice crystals) Aha! There are 'runes' all along the outer framework. You see?" said the excited sorcerer who was no more than twenty in human years.

All I could see were funny looking squiggly lines but Orphen was the expert, not me! He began tracing them with his gloved fingers. Then he placed his wand upright over the exact centre of the 'palantir' glass and, wonder of wonders, it hung suspended in mid air! He murmurred some words in a language I did not recognize and I have a working knowledge of 757 languages! Next he scattered some strange powders from his rucksack across the glass.

"Get back! Both of you! I must intone the names of power to open the glass." he warned.

"I have made a large circle on the deck floor in dried blood. Stay within it if you value your lives! I kid ye not!" he commanded and Blue and I obeyed.

"Salzaar! Lord of the Heavens! Maacktaal! Lord of the Underworld! Mykktaan! Lady of the Waters! Agorrlaang! Lord of the Unknown! Ye be Guardian o' the Gate o' Power! Only through your offices are the Universes protected from 'They whose dwelling places are in the interstices betwixt the Stars'! Older than Time! Older even than the Great Rassilon of Gallifrey! Cthulhu! Nyaarlathotepp! Shugg Nigurath! He whose name is never to be spaked! Show us our futures! We beg o' ye this boon! Your Guardians commandeth it! Speak to us!" cried Orphen and then he stabbed the glass with the tip of his wand!

There was suddenly a roaring sound from everywhere and snoke of all the colours of a rainbow billowed forth from the glass itself! I felt faint and began to slide from the circle's protection before the strong arms of Blue pulled me back inside to stand with him and Doctor #6 whose teapot was still outside the circle.

A voice of thunder was now heard everywhere as clear as crystal.

"On the morrow ye shall climb the fatal mountain. For the unmaking of the stones of evil we ask nothing of ye. For the unmaking of the Great Dekka sword of the shadows, we demand a life, a life of our own choosing. Therefore, know this. At least one of your teams will return in sorrow. Know this as well. The unmaking of both Sword and Stones will at last bring an end to your missions and return all of the other displaced souls to their own places and time eras once again. This sacrifice will not have been in vain. When this hath all been done, Lord Azagorn will possess the power to return ye to Gallifrey and Shimougou. One thing more, my dear friends. This 'scrying glass' must also be hurled into Chaos's fiery maelstrom lest evil be reborn again. Look to see me no more. May the Guardians protect ye from all harm. Farewell."

The stentorian voice ended as quickly as it had begun!

CRASH! Suddenly the 'palantir' or 'scrying glass' shattered into smithereens! Just as quickly the shards gathered themselves into a spiral and an opening appeared before us in the very aether! Then with a sound like a thunderclap, the shards spiralled through the opening and were gone! Nothing remained of the 'palantir', not even the frame with the strange 'runes'!

Orphen's look was baleful and dark. He sighed and picked up his wand, collapsed it like a telescope and placed it carefuly in his rucksack which he secured and then slung it over his shoulder.

"You expected it to vanish, right?" I asked, hopefully but he shook his head.

"Not at all, Mrs Caldy, mum. As a rule, a 'palantir' or a 'scrying glass' and that was both, becomes a mirrored surface after it has delivered its message. This one was tainted with pure evil and was recalled by the mighty mage Orgalligan. He has banished it to the worlds between worlds forever. Doctor? Could I perhaps have a cup of that tea of yours, sir? I am parched." replied Orphen.

"Orgalligan?" I was a 'time lady' of Gallifrey and quite learned in the magical and mystic arts yet here was a name with which I was quite unfamiliar! That worried me! Orphen drank his tea and grinned at us.

"You know him as Lord Rassilon of Gallifrey, mum." he explained to us. I was thunderstruck! Lord Rassilon was the leader of the original Time Lords' founders! He still showed up every so often despite the fact that he passed on eons ago and should have been resting quietly in his sarcophagus tomb deep beneath his might tower on Gallifrey!

"So Lord Rassie knows of our mission, does he?" I intoned quietly. Orphen thought it was a question and replied immediately.

"Whom did you think rang the 'cloister bell' on 'Maggie' and has been guiding us to 'Ligorius' safely, Romy? Why do you think so many mages and sorcerers and witches are aboard 'Dae' and 'Cori'? Why do you think Lady Allison was placed in command of both ships? For that matter, why do you think a lowly yeoman sub-ensign was promoted to captain and given command of this vessel? Why do you think a Beta Zoid was promoted to Commodore and placed in command of a Starfleet vessel? Why do you think the 'Shimougan Wrecking Crew' were each assigned a time lord protector and placed at opposite ends of the 3WA's home world? All this and more has been engineered by Orgalligan and your own high council, Romy. This time, the Federation, Starfleet and even the mighty 3WA have had little if any input into these missions. That was swell, Hatter! How about a refill?" explained the mage and #6 gratefully poured him more tea and replenished the goodies trays.

I yawned and left for my quarters. I passed Dog Boy and Wolfie in the hallway. They asked about the 'big thing' they had brought aboard and I told them that it was gone. They pressed me for details but I did not elaborate because it would have taken far too long to explain. Besides which I was going to have to tell Jane Huntley about it tomorrow anyway and if I knew her, she'd insist on making it public knowledge.

She did! Next day she called a meeting to be held from her own sitting room. In ancient times, you would have called this a video conference call. We called them 'vidmeets'. Everyone aboard had been told to be near a vidscreen or vidmonitor at 10 hundred hours or 10 AM. When the appointed hour arrived, I was sitting sipping tea with Jane. I was sitting beside her on the settee or divan or sofa or whatever it was and she greeted everyone then thrust the vidmike into my fist after telling everyone that 'Romana will tell you all about it'.

In as few words they could all understand that I could muster up, I explained about the 'palantir' or 'scrying glass's message.

A hushed silence greeted that announcement and I dreaded the questions that were sure to follow! However, they took it all in stride and I thought I had gotten off scot free until-

"What exactly did the voice say, mum and who told you?" asked, of all people, Arsene Lupin III! Why he wanted to know was beyond me because I assumed he was staying aboard the 'Dae' or the TARDIS. I soon discovered that he and his 'gang' along with 'Inspector 'Pops' Zenigata was accompanying our party with the 'Dekka' sword to the summit of Mount Chaos. I asked Jane if she knew about it and she said yes and then apologized for not mentioning it to me.

"Plumb slipped my mind, Romy. Sorry. By the way, they'll be your responsibility so keep them out of trouble. Your husband's with the 'stones' group and he's stuck with Joe Friday and Billy Gannon so count yourself lucky. You get to take Sherlock and Johnny Watson with your bunch. More tea, dear?" said Jane Huntley. I sighed and held out my cup for a refill.

"You understood Milord Lupin's questions, Mrs Caldy?" prompted Lord Goemon politely. He was honing his own katana blade with a piece of Kelvinite and I shuddered. With that look he gave me, I was sure glad he was on our side! Or was he?

"As to the speaker, I have been told it was Lord Rassilon or one of his vassals. As to his speech, I will repeat it ver batim.

"On the morrow ye shall climb the fatal mountain. For the unmaking of the stones of evil we ask nothing of ye. For the unmaking of the Great Dekka sword of the shadows, we demand a life, a life of our own choosing. Therefore, know this. At least one of your teams will return in sorrow. Know this as well. The unmaking of both Sword and Stones will at last bring an end to your missions and return all of the other displaced souls to their own places and time eras once again. This sacrifice will not have been in vain. When this hath all been done, Lord Azagorn will possess the power to return ye to Gallifrey and Shimougou. One thing more, my dear friends. This 'scrying glass' must also be hurled into Chaos's fiery maelstrom lest evil be reborn again. Look to see me no more. May the Guardians protect ye from all harm. Farewell.

"As for who will not be coming back, I haven't a clue. However, this is our mission and we will complete it no matter the consequences because, because, because it simply must be done and someone has to do it, dammit! Pardon my French but on Gallifrey I was taught to take the good with the bad. If there are no other questions, here's the Commander again." I said and I tossed the vidmike in Jane's lap.

"Get a good night's sleep because I am not going to send out the away teams today no matter what Lord Rassilon wishes. We all need a darned good rest before we tackle that mountain tomorrow. I can now inform you that the 'Daedalus' and the 'Coriander' now sit at the foot of Mount Chaos and I am ordering an outside guard mount. Zorro, Cisco and Pancho have first watch which is why they are not aboard. The other shifts are listed on your PDO's so be sure to check them. One more thing, folks.

"We are traveling light so take along only what is absolutely necessary for tomorrow's climb. Now have some fun. Everyone save the guards and bridge crew are offduty as of now. Thank you all for your attention. Huntley out." announced Jane and then she picked up one of the kitties and began to stroke its fur.

"I take it that you will be aboard the TARDIS, Boss?" I ventured but she shook her head.

"I have been ordered to remain here aboard 'Daedalus' and Commodore Troi has been ordered to remain aboard the 'Coriander'. The 'Hatter' will choose his own crew as will the 'Cricketer' (#5 Doctor). Han Solo will command your group with you as his second officer. Orphen and his group will accompany you, Romy. Seras Victoria and her 'Master' Lord Alcucard will command the other away team and they will have the Alchemists. The Alkahestrists (Lin, Lan Fan and May) will be with your team.

"I have been told that rocket boots and jet packs will not operate correctly on the mountain so none will be taken by anyone. It will be a long and arduous climb and it must be accomplished before the six moons rise tomorrow evening. Both blade and stones must be thrown into the volcano's crater exactly at moonrise of the final moon in order to 'unmake' them.

"It seems a pity that one of our brave people must forfeit his or her life but ours is not to reason why, I suppose. Romy, I feel lonely tonight. Would you mind sleeping over in my quarters tonight? I have an extra bedroom you can use. Please?" asked the Boss and I smiled and said I would.

The day passed pleasantly enough and after lunch, I packed my kit and Jonathan's as well. Leave it to my husband and he'd forget his head! There was a slight tap on our suite's outer portals and reached behind me and hit the portal release panel. The portals swished aside quietly and Jane stepped into my sitting room which looked like the 'Blonde Bomber' had been practicing her trade in it!

I apologized to Jane about the mess and hastily shoved aside some junk I'd been packing up so she could sit down. Unfortunately, Tazzie, our Grizallian 'devil wolf' had been sleeping underneath the pile!

Zorg! Kubakka! Tazzie sounded very indignant and gave me a baleful glance before he padded out to the kitchen and I presumed, his own little bed basket. Poor Jane jumped a full metre when the pile of gear leaped up and snarled at us!

I tried not to laugh but I failed miserably and then Jane too began to giggle. We both sat down and discussed shipboard gossip until the 'Hatter' arrived at 1600 hours, 4 PM with teapot in one hand and a tray of goodies and empty cups in the other. He placed the pot on a trivet atop my java table. Then he laid out the tea service and produced cream, sugar, lemons and honey from his overflowing coat pockets. Then I realized that on ancient Terra, especially in Britain, tea was always served from 4 to 6 in the afternoon followed at 8 PM by a huge dinner. Our own dinner was only an hour away so we both ate very sparingly.

"Something wrong with the scones and muffins, me dearies? Tea not hot enough? I know! You'd like me to recite something for you. Very well. Twinkle, twinkle little asteroid. Up above the ship so high, like a tea tray in the skies. Oh dear! Now I have upset you me dearies! I know what will cheer you up! K-9! Come here, dog." called Doctor #6 and an obedient data doggie came trundling into the room.

"Good afternoon, Mistresses, Master. How can I be of service to you?" asked K-9 very politely unlike his 'CC' Central Command Computer program counterpart on the Boss's flagship. #6 was holding, of all things, a small hoop at about waist level and seemed to be coaxing K-9 to do something.

"Be a good little data doggie, K-9 and jump through the hoop for us, please. I'll give you a biscuit." cajoled the Doctor.

"Master! I am a functioning and thinking computerized machine! I do not jump through hoops, roll over, sit up, shake hands, play dead or perform any others of those disgusting tricks that real living canines seem to take pleasure in doing. A biscuit? Yuck! Now if you had said some fresh 'CYL4000' high performance lubricant, I might give it a whirl. Master." replied K-9.

"You may have your lubricant, doggie. However, you will not have to perform like a circus clown for it. Shame on you, Mr 'Hatter'! Oh and these scones and muffins are quite delicious. What is wrong is that in another hour we will be eating our dinners and we do not wish to spoil our appetites for that meal. The Texas Rangers are cooking this evening and they have promised us something quite unusual and very special for dinner.

"Have you chosen your TARDIS's crew yet, sir? In the event of any trouble, we are counting on you to rescue our team from danger and Allison's Dad's TARDIS to rescue the 'Coriander's team should the need arise. Well?" replied Jane Huntley.

"I have, mum. Peri Brown, Tegan Jovanka, Nyssa, Leila, Jamie, Jo Jo Grant, Sarah Jane Smith and K-9 are all the assistance I will require. It is my understanding from Commodore Troi that she has had a signal from the flagship. Old 'Scarfy' (#4 Doctor) will be taking his K-9 and 'Ace' Johnston as his only crewmen. Before you ask, 'Scarfy' has been to 'Ligorius' before and he knows Mount Chaos while I do not. All eight of my crew members have at least been to 'Ligorius' before and a few have even been to Mount Chaos. I could find no person, alien, entity aboard who has ever actually climbed Mount Chaos save the 'Leprechaun' (Doctor #7) and he is engaged in other duties and is unavailable for this mission, mum. Another muffin, Romy?" answered 'Hatter'.

The 'Leprechaun' had been left behind at the Academy 'in reserve' as Mr Garner had put it. I took another muffin, my 14th but who was counting? As we were declining our 15th cup of tea, we were saved by 'Goat' Smith's voice on the PA system.

"First dinner! Come 'N Git It! Afore the 'Pig Squad' Arrives!" boomed out the Terran New Jersey junkyard dealer's voice and we excused ourselves while Tazzie was giving poor 'Hatter' the 'bum's rush' out the portals!

Yorf! Gargalonka! Shudylt! I guess that would translate to 'Good riddance!' in Grizallian. Anyway we both tossed on jackets and pulled on ski caps and gloves for the short hike to the dining room. Why?

Because the 'ice warriors' we had aboard under Captain Grimdorf's command had been complaining about the heat so their quarters, the public rooms and the corridors were all being maintained at 6 degrees Kelvin. That's minus 36 degrees Fahrenheit but I dunno what it in Celsius or Centigrade. It was damned cold was all I knew! Half of Grim's guys were going with our team and the other half were aboard 'Coriander' and were going with their team.

Dinner was lively and quite animated, not at all like I was used to back 'home' where I had met Jonathan Caldy and after what they once called a 'whirlwind courtship', we had been married by our commanding officer in a small ceremony. Jonny is sweet in his own way but he is forever getting us into trouble!

I missed Jon but he had his orders same as I did and this mission was super important enough for many of us to be separated for the scaling of Mount Chaos tomorrow. Jane and Deanna both longed to come and I am sure that went for Allison as well but 'orders is orders' as Mr Popo always told me. I debated on a seventh cheeseburger but my tummy decided that six was enough. Likewise, my stomach decided me against a fourth chocolate mousse for dessert.

Jane, Uncle Hiram and I took our java and repaired to Jane's quarters to go over the morrow's trips in the 'Arthur' and the 'Grant' since both the 'Coriander' and the 'Daedalus' were remaining behind as was the flagship. Since the 'Cori' carried only two small shuttles, Jon Caldy had been ordered to fly the 'Arthur' over to Deanna Troi's starship and aboard it would be the 'Cricketer's own TARDIS just in case anything went kaflooey and Seras's team had to be yanked to safety.

There was a tap on our open portalsway and 'Hatter' poked his head in. For once, the teapot was not in evidence.

"Just popped in to tell you that I am going to ask some of your lads to load the TARDIS aboard the 'Grant', mums. We will be ready to extract your entire away team should the need arise. Then I am going to have a nice sleep in my own bed aboard my Type 40. That means we will not meet again until this mission concludes. Good luck, Poppets. 'Night." he said and then he was gone.

"Blue knows the route and where the vortex's 'door' is located so the 'Grant' will lead the way for the 'Arthur'. By my own calculations which Nyssa confirmed for me, both vessels should reach the base of the mountain tomorrow at 0700 hours, 7 in the morning. Romy, it is imperative that both your team and the vampires' team reach the summit before 'Ligorius's sixth moon rises. At the exact moment that all six moons are visible directly overhead, the sword and the stones must be cast into the volcano's fiery maw." explained Uncle Hiram. Suddenly the vidscreen crackled to life and we were staring at the 'Biggest Cheese' himself! Vittorio Franciso Xavier Galadriel, the 'God' of the 3WA looked troubled.

"Please pardon the intrusion, Professor. Good evening Major Huntley, Captain Caldy. I could not help overhearing that last bit, sir. However, as soon as those objects have been tossed over the brink of the precipice, I want everyone left in the away teams to abandon all of their gear except for their weapons and the two good Doctors will attempt to 'beam' each team aboard their own TARDIS. I say 'attempt' because I do not believe that it is possible to 'beam' in 'Existential Space'.

"Therefore, the time lords' TARDISes have been equipped with 'tractoring' equipment. That is why I want all unnecessary junk abandoned. Each team will have to be standing together, shoulder to shoulder to make as compact a 'tractoring' target as possible. I have no idea of the power of these Type 40's and Mark Five's so the smaller the target, the greater the chance of success in tractoring the group back aboard the TARDIS. So lighten your load as much as you possibly can.

"No ladies, do not look so stunned. Garner pointed out and rightfully so that a starship commander on an away mission must be a Major and an away team mission's number one must be at least a Captain. I said 'everyone left' because I am quite aware of Lord Rassilon's message from the 'scrying glass' as interpreted for you by Orphen deChiles. How many will be sacrificed, whom and from which team or teams I do not know.

"You can rest assured, however, that their deaths will not have been in vain. There will be a memorial service held for those brave lads and/or lasses or entities as soon as the missions end and everyone is back here at the Academy safe and sound. Attendance will be mandatory and there will be no exceptions. Neither will I accept any excuses for not attending. Good luck and may Kami be with all of you tomorrow. You have my personal gratitude and that of everyone in all of the Universes for your brave and noble deeds. Galadriel out."

The comm relay ended as abruptly as it it had begun. Uncle Hi frowned and then grinned at us.

"Now would be a good time to give ye these I suppose, kiddies. The 'railroad tracks' are for ye, Romana. The oak leaf clusters are for ye, Janelle. They were given to me by Uncle Vito before we left Shimougou a few missions back and he told me to use me own judgment as to when to give ye the good news. By now ye should both know all about the 3WA's 'battlefield promotions', eh? Any more java? I'd kill for a scone and some razzleberry marmalade. Thankee, Romy." said the old archaeologist and the three of us were soon sharing scones and java.

Myorfa? Tazzie hopped up on my lap and looked at me with his big soulful amber and green eyes so I fed him a scone and he gobbled it down greedily. That was the signal for Whitey, Luna and Artemis to start begging as well. All in all, we went through three trays of goodies and two urns of java before Uncle Hi yawned and said his good nights to us. I was about to follow him out when I remembered that I'd promised to stay with Jane.

Neither of us was feeling very sleepy so we decided that a nice stroll around the ship might help to tire us out. After we'd returned from our stroll, there was a commotion in sick bay so we popped in to see what was up.

"Which team will make it to the top first, guys? Odds are running 6 to 4 for the 'Grant' party. They're the favourite. Odds on the 'Arthur' party are 50 to 1. That's because Jonny Caldy's never climbed before. Get yer bets down with Dixie. Roll up! Roll up! No pushing, please. Hey! Keep it down to a dull roar. We don't want to wake up the Boss. What's that Ranger? Nope. I said 6 to 4, not 7 to 3. A grand on Solo's team. Good. Who's next? Will ya all pipe down. The captain's quarters are just up the hall dammit! I don't need Huntley down here." said Dr Mike Morton. Nurse Dixie McCall was being kept busy writing out betting slips.

"Now Jane, it's all in good fun after all." I soothed but she shook off my hand and pressed forward to the front of the line.

"Yo! Wait yer damned turn, sister! Get back in line or- Oh Lord Rassilon's whiskers! Ten Hutt! Captain's in the room!" said Kouga the wolf youkai demon, hastily saluting.

"You have Huntley down here, Captain Morton. At ease. And it's Major now. See? What's going on in here?" demanded Jane, pointing to her new oak leaves on her epaulettes.

"I told ya we wouldn't get away with it a second time, Mike. It's too soon after the horse race. Hi Romy. Huh? You're a captain now? Congratulations to both of ya. I was just leaving." said Dixie but I was blocking her escape route.

"It was Mike's idea, not mine, mum. This is yet another fine mess you've gotten me into, Morton!" whined Miss McCall.

"I will say this just once, people. All gambling on this ship must first be approved by its Commander, me. That said, give me 500 UniCreds on Romy's team. How's the betting for Vicky's team going? 50 to 1? Wowie! If I were you folks, I'd try and get some rest because I want both teams at that mountain by 0700 hours tomorrow. That means the 'Grant' and the 'Arthur' will be leaving us and the 'Cori' at 0530 hours. It's close on to midnight so as soon as you place your bets, get some shuteye. Not betting, Romy? Better hurry because this betting shop is closing in ten minutes. Understood, Mikey?" said Jane.

"Absolutely, mum. (He whispered to Dixie) We can sleep in tomorrow, Dix. We're staying here, remember?" said Mike.

"Say Janey, those two new paramedic guys Johnny and Roy from Mike's hospital are with Vicky's team, right? (Jane nodded) Doesn't ou team need a couple of medics as well? How about if I take Mike and Dixie along with us tomorrow?" I asked. I can be really devilish when I want to be.

"Great idea, Romy. You two will be accompanying Solo's team in the morning. Better get your gear packed up. OK! This betting parlour is now closed! Get some sleep. I'll see you off at 0530 tomorrow. G'Night." said our Commander.

"Don't be late, guys. Better bring along plenty of medical stuff. Never know when we might need it. Oh and Mikey? No excuses will be accepted. You are both coming with us on the 'Grant'. G'Night." I said and then I hurried to catch up with Jane.

We were both up and ready for action at 0500. When we reached the launch deck, our team was yawning and complaining as usual.

"What about breakfast? Wolfie and me's hungry." sulked InuYasha and Angie handed him a lunch kit bag and a thermos bottle.

"There's breakfast, Dog Boy. No time to chow down today. We lift off in 5 minutes so as soon as you get your rations, get aboard and strap in. Where's Blue?" I said, checking off my list of team members.

"Present, Contessa! Han's here too. Let's get this show on the road. Hurry up dammit! I'm the lead shuttle." yelled Legato Bluesummers from the control room bridge of the 'Grant'. Over on the 'Cori', I assumed a similar scene was taking place as Lord Alucard and his 'Police Girl' checked their own roster of crew persons.

By a quarter to seven we had reached the 'vortex door' which was rapidly closing! Blue yawed to port and slipped through into 'E Space' followed closely by the 'Arthur' with my better half at the controls. Poor Jonny had to turn almost completely sideways but he did manage to slip through just as the 'door' disappeared! It seemed that we were committed and there would be no retreat for any of us!

"Holy Captain Spaulding! Ya ain't sayin' we gotta climb that thing, are ya, Han?" shouted Neko Olson, our weapons officer and han nodded. Mount Chaos was taller than Terra's Everest by at least a half a mile and the winds were whipping like mad! Unlike Terra's Himalayan monster, however, Mount Chaos did have a slight trail for us to use for almost the entire climb.

I craned my neck at the view 'window' and I spotted the 'Arthur' which had elected to climb the South face. That left the blustery winds of the North face for us! Han cupped his hands around his mouth and barked out his commands like an ancient Terran Marine drill sergeant.

"Leave whatever ya don't need aboard. If all goes well both shuttles won't have to be sacrificed. Let's hope so anyway! We don't know what's on that mountain so bring weapons and plenty o' power packs for 'em! Blue and Jon will stay behind with the ships. Should anything go wrong, try and make it back to the shuttles. We honestly dunno how or even if we can leave 'E Space' now that our 'door' has vamoosed. Concentrate on our mission. Now who's got the 'Dekka' sword?" drawled Mr Solo in a sort of bass baritone voice.

"We got it and the damned thing's almost as heavy as my 'Tessaiga' dammit!" grumbled the big hanyou. He and Kouga were carrying it while Goku and Vegeta were toting their gear. Should they become too tired, the two Saiyaans would carry the 'Dekka'. Zoey was carrying the 'Dark Bring' shadow stones for the other team because of her Beta Zoid resistances to trickery and deceits.

After a short prayer led by Alex the ice roads' 'minister', we shouldered our kit bags and rucksacks and began to climb. Not counting Rio's skinned knee and Fllaysie's constant whining because we made her leave her lapvidcomp behind, we had a pretty easy climb. Mike Morton kept asking everyone if the Abominable Snowman or the Yeti was living at the top of the mountain. Dixie kept everyone's spirits up by singing for us. She had a lovely dusky contralto voice.

"Are we there yet? I forgot to wear my long johns. When is luncheon? Why did I have to come along? Drat! The wind keeps blowing out my matches and my pipe won't draw properly! Whose fool idea was this mission anyway?" harped Mr Peabody and the rest of us tried very hard to ignore the little white doggie pest.

Finally, we reached a cave that Uncle Hi had assured us would be a short cut to the top which it was. Good thing too because just as we reached the brink of the escarpment of Mount Chaos's summit, the sixth moon was beginning to rise. The demons and Saiyaans were suddenly having to struggle with the 'Dekka' which seemed to have a life of its own. The closer they drew to the edge, the more the obstinate sword pulled away from them!

Vicky told me later that the same thing was happening with the stones Zoey Morton was carrying! There was a crash of thunder, a flash of red lightning and all six 'Ligorian' moons were directly above us! Several pairs of hands tried and tried to hurl the accursed blade over the precipice to no avail and then-

"Damn ye fer the divil sword ye be! I mayn't e'er set foot on solid Earthen soil agin but, ne'er shall ye trouble honest folks nae more, ye accursed weapon o' woe! Down! Down! Down!" screamed Captain John Smith of the 'Flying Dutchman' sailing schooner.

Before any of us knew it, he had snatched the falling sword from InuYasha's grasp and leaped with it into the pit of flaming molten rock and lava! I screamed. Rio cried and Fllaysie fainted. Then from across the deep and bottomless chasm, I saw another figure leap off the edge and plunge into the fiery furnace below. This figure was clutching a small sack to its bosom!

Later when we told the other team about John Smith's heroic act, we were told inturn of another Smith's heroic act. The falling figure we had seen was our resident Angel Jonathan Smith! At the last second before the sixth moon rose higher and breaking the spell forever, Jonathan had shoved Izumi Curtis aside and wrenched the bag of stones from her hands. Then he had said 'God be with you all' and he had jumped to his death in the flames far below.

"Get rid of all your junk! Keep the weapons and ammo! Form a square, a tight square!" I screamed because it was now or never! Either we got 'beamed' or 'tractored' aboard 'Hatter's craft or we died right here and now. No way could we make it down the mountainside again which was a wall of living flame just 20 metres below us!

A shimmery haze engulfed us and then winked out! So much for 'beaming'. I held on to Goku as tight as he could while Rio and Fllaysie perched atop Sesshomaru's broad shoulders with several others. There was plenty of room since Sess had morphed into his true demonic dog form. Then I felt a pulling sensation and we were being hauled in like a Trydyllian trout! Soon we were all safely aboard.

Later on I found out that the 'Cricketer' Doctor had been unable to 'beam' anyone up either and had been forced to use the 'tractoring' device. After a quick head count, each team had lost only a single member. We had lost the dear old sea captain who had been cursed to wander the seas until a happy chance had whisked him into our era and our galaxy. Vicky had lost our Angel or so we thought at that time but that is another tale, my friends.

The shuttles? When Mount Chaos exploded, 'E Space' had merged with 'N Space' and both shuttles had been flung back across 'Ligorius' to their main ships, the 'Coriander' and our own 'Daedalus'. Sir Integra Wyngate Van Helsing was our comm relay officer and her news was astounding! Reports had been coming in from all across the cosmoses! People and beings were vanishing right and left! Scientists were confirming the closing off and sealing of 'rifts' everywhere! The status quo had been restored to time and space in all of the Universes.

Even the AD 2140 Andy Gooley reported that his Angels had never been able to fire that very first 'God Gun' because when Keisie had tried, it had jambed tight! So there had never ever been a 'rift' in the space/time continuum after all! Good news for most but remember please that our 'fictional' folks never existed for real so there is no space and no time era to which they can ever return!

Relax! Recall the original mission? Find a colonizable world for them? 'Victorine'? Now begins the paperwork and the endless red tape of the Federation and the 3WA!

Standing in #6's galley kitchen was Captain John Smith, the Master of the Flying Dutchman whom we had all seen leap into the volcano with the 'Dekka' sword not four solar minutes ago!

"My 'Boss' wasn't ready for the good captain yet, Romy. Me? I'm an Angel, kiddo. I am already dead, didn't you know? You think that Lord Rassilon's 'prophecy' was incorrect? Not so! Recall his exact words?

"One or both teams will return in sorrow. Both of our teams did indeed return in sorrow thinking that both of us had died in the fires of Mount Chaos, correct? So we fulfilled the prophecy only not in the way that you all thought it would be fulfilled. Don't tell me you're upset that we weren't terminated for good, Romy?" chuckled Jonathan Smith.

"Where's Mark?" I asked. Jonny pointed to the bedrooms beyond the galley.

"The big lug fainted when he saw us. Doc Watson and Dr Mike and Dixie are in there with him. Oh pardon me. Let me introduce two cool paramedics from Rampart Emergency and LA Squad 51 from ancient Terran California, Romy. Meet Roy deSoto and Johnny Gage. Cool your jets, Johnny. She's married. This is my dear friend and time lady, Romana Mandlinkova Caldy. Her hubby piloted the 'Arthur' and now he's collecting his bets in the bar." said Jonny Smith and I did a double take!

"You mean that my fool husband bet against his own team?" I yelled. Our team had won the bet by beating the Vampires' team by a full five solar minutes to the summit!

"Yes and No. He hedged his bets by putting a grand on each team. So he lost and he won. He's picking up your winnings for you as well. Have a cuppa, kids." replied the Angel with a grin. I grabbed the 'Hatter' as he scuttled past us.

"Where exactly is this TARDIS, 'Hatter'?" I demanded and he smiled and poured Gage and Roy a cup of tea.

"Down Roy. You're married already, remember? So's the lady here." chortled Johnny Gage.

"I just wanted to ask her what a 'time lady' is, Johnny. Didn't you notice that this 'ploice box' is bigger on the inside than on the outside?" said Roy deSoto.

"Quantum mechanics, Roy. The inside of the TARDIS exists in many dimensions. I'm the same as the 'Hatter' Doctor here. I don't have my own TARDIS because I didn't steal one from Gallifrey like he did. We govern and protect time and space. Want a better explanation? Ask Uncle Hiram or Allison's Dad, #4 Doctor with the scarf. Now where are we, Doctor?" I answered.

"Back aboard the 'Daedalus' of course! Allison won't allow me to materialize around all three starships and whisk us all back to the Academy! She wants us all to have a nice voyage back home. I wanted to go back to Gallifrey but like old 'Scarfy', we are under 3WA and UG orders! She even took away my 'temporal limiter' device and 'Scarfy's and the 'Cricketer's! Want a nice fresh scone or a Danish? Look at my kitchen! Who made this mess? Ranger Parker! I might have guessed! Go mess up Jane's kitchens, darn it! Oh bitter day!" replied the 'Mad Hatter' and he was starting to sound like Lewis Carroll's madman too!

"No, Alex! The first bank I find back on Shimougou I am going to open an account and deposit our winnings!" yelled an angry Ranger Walker.

"Our winnings?" cried Alexandra Cahill, Dallas assistant district attorney.

"If you'll have me, they can be our winnings. That's sorta a proposal, Alex. Ya know that I love ya, darn it all! Well?" asked the Texas Ranger anxiously.

"Well, Alex? What do ya say?" demanded Rangers Jimmy Trivette and CD Parker.

"I say yes! I love you too, ya big lug! When?" bubbled the blonde ADA happily.

"As soon as we find a minister I guess, Honey." replied Cordell Walker. They kissed passionately.

"If that's all ya need, I'm a reverend!" yelled Nicholas D Wolfwood.

"Can't do it, sonny. You'reonly a reverend on 'Gunsmoke', not here. Same goes for myself. Sorry." explained Chapel the Evergreen, another minister and Nick's mentor. Chapel had officiated a year or so back when Han and Leia had 'tied the knot' you may recall.

"They're from Earth and I'm from Earth and I too am a minister so if you like we can do the honours here and now before the Almighty and these here witnesses, kids." offered the Ice Roads Minister, Alexander D.

"How about it, Honey? We'll never get back to Dallas anyway and these fine folks here are our friends, aren't they?" coaxed Walker with an eager Jimmy and CD looking on hopefully.

"I'll loan you my 'time ship' and you can honeymoon at the 'Arc of Orion' where Jon and I honeymooned." I said.

Alex C nodded and so did her betrothed.

"Hot dammit! A weddin'! I got divs on kissin' the lovely bride first!" howled a now recovered Mark Gordon and a thunderclap shook the TARDIS! Jonathan Smith frowned.

"Watch your language, Mark. You know how my 'Boss' feels about cussing!" warned the Angel. Mark apologized and the guys and gals separated to make the appropriate preparations for this evening's wedding festivities.

"I dunno, Cordell. Ya think we can find everything we need on this old tub o' theirs?" asked a dubious Ranger Parker.

"If you don't, just 'replicate' what you need." I replied and shoved a 'replicating' unit into Walker's hands and another into Miss Cahill's.

"If I may suggest, Mistresses? Simply ask for all things needed for a wedding and allow the 'replicating unit' to select what is best based on his memory banks." said K-9 but Alex was dubious and so were the others.

"It cannot possibly know what all of our dress sizes are, K-9. Not to mention the groom and best man's wardrobe sizes. A wedding takes a lot of careful planning." replied Alex.

"Everyone's sizes are on file, Mistress. That is also true for the gentlemen. If I may be so bold Mistress, this is not the first wedding that we have had to prepare for and the other three came off to coin your Texan vernacular 'without a hitch', Mistress." suggested K-9.

"That's a fact, ma'am. Our own weddin', Lt Nat and her hubby's and Big Spike Miroku's last month were all 'repped' the same way and they all come off 'without a hitch', Miss Alex." drawled Han Solo.

"He's right there, Alex Honey. Reverend Evergreen is a very fussy guy and even he had to admit that not a thing was missed in my wedding to this big guy here. Right, Sweetie?" laughed Leia Solo.

"Trace and I could not have asked for a better ceremony, Miss Cahill. Right, Honey?" giggled Mrs Naturle Edwards.

"I got a vid pix here somewheres o' Big Spike's big day with Dr Sally and that was held on the 'Hatter's TARDIS if I recall aright." said Gene Starwind, fishing out a greasy gloss print vid pix from his wallet. He was correct. I had never seen a more radiant blushing bride than Sally Rodgers, Doctor of Quantum Physics and now Mrs Spike Miroku.

"Mebbe so but no dang new-fangled machine kin make chili dogs same as my own secret recipe!" complained Ranger CD Parker and I had to admit that his 'dogs' were scrumptiously hot and spicy! Ouch! Just thinking of 'em gives me a blister on my lips!

"OK, let's get to work then! This bachelor party's gonna be a humdinger, Walker." said Ranger Jimmy Trivette.

"It won't be anywhere near as cool as milady Alex's hen party, fellas! Let's go, girls!" said Nat Edwards. She grabbed my arm and Alex's and led us off to her own quarters. I guessed that Nat was planning to use a holodeck for the bash so I whispered to Jimmy that he could use Holodeck 6 for the bachelor party for Mr Walker.

At the mention of a party, the Ice Road Brigade trooped after the Rangers while Reverend Alex D went to 'prepare himself' for the officiating ceremonies. Straws were drawn to choose the unlucky team that would have to remain on bridge duty and could not participate in any of the plannings.

"Jonathan! Why did you have to volunteer us for this detail?" grumbled Mark Gordon.

"Cheer up, Mark. It's our duty. I'm the exec and you're my co-pilot. Here. Your very own 'replicator' so you can pig out all you want." answered Angel Smith, shoving a 'repper' unit into Mark's hands.

"Don't worry, Buzz. I got one for you to use as well. At least we'll get to attend the party later, old buddy." chuckled Todd Stiles.

"Gonna lend the happy couple your jalopy for their honeymoon too?" joked Buzz Murdoch but Todd was not smiling. What neither of them knew, however, was that Jane Huntley was having a special sky sled decorated for Cordy and Alex for their big getaway to the 'Moon of Endor' for a week of fun and cuddling. Not exactly Paree on Terra but just as romantic. At least I thought so when Jonny and I had honeymooned there.

"No, Jamie! It's to read 'Just Married' not 'Time for the Ball and Chain'!" yelled Zoe Morton who had been busily stringing 'tin cans' together to be tied to the rear of the sled. At least they'd stay there until the afterburner thrusters kicked in and vapourized them!

"I told you he's incorrigible, Zoey. Are you sure it's a better idea to have all the wedding gifts remain aboard the 'Dae' and go home with us to Shim? Tracy and Nat took theirs along with them to the 'Eye of Orion' for their honeymoon." asked Leila the Jungle Girl but the chief navigator shook her head.

"They were coming right back to the 'Outlaw Star' after their week, Love. Alex and Cordell will be flying their sky sled all the way home to the Academy after their romp. Besides, Tracy borrowed a shuttle for him and Nat from Mr Dastun. Janey said no way was she lending two novice pilots the 'Grant' or the 'Arthur'. We may even have need of them on the way home if Mr Garner decides to use the 'Dae' on another mission along the route. Nice touch, Jamie. Those Texas steer 'long horns' look great on the front of the sled! They're sure to remind Alex and Cordy of home. Shake a leg, guys. It's almost dinnertime." said Zoe.

The nuptials went off later that evening 'without a hitch' and it was my supreme honour to be chosen as matron of honour for the bride. Ranger Parker gave away Alex to Cordell and Ranger Trivette was Mr Walker's best man. As none of our displaced Texans had any children with them, Rinny and Shippou were chosen as flower bearers or whatever they called those kids who scattered flower petals on the floor back on ancient Terra.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here on this auspicious occasion to unite this man with this woman and-" began Reverend Alexander D, Minister of the Ice Roads.

"Better skip to the finish, Padre. Gene says if the happy couple want to catch the 'window' for 'Endor' they'd better hustle!" whispered Zorro to the minister who nodded.

"Do you, Cordell 'Runs With the Lone Wolf' Walker take this woman to be your wife forevermore?" asked the Padre.

"Of course I do, sir. Hurry up, please. The sled's double parked!" answered Ranger Walker.

"And do you, Alexandra McClintock 'Laws R Us' Cahill take this man to be your husband forevermore?" intoned the Ice Roader.

"Yup! Fer now and always until the day I die come what may, Reverend, sir. Shippou! Stop eating those rose petals! Wind it up, Father! Rinny! Get out of that fountain! Your Dad will have my head! Come on, Rev!" replied Alex.

"While we're still young, dammit! I want a piece of that weddin' cake!" yelled Hugh the big 'Polar Bear' Ice Roader.

"By whatever powers the good Lord hath given to me up here nearer to his own Heavenly domain, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may now kiss the bride and cut the cake. I need a mug o' java! Best o' luck, kids!" said the reverend.

"Attention! Colonel Starwind informs me that the 'window' for 'Endor' is closing in six and a half solar minutes. The happy couple had better get a wiggle on before they miss their honeymoon ride. Congratulations Mr and Mrs Walker!" blared out Nikita, our resident computer programming unit over the squawkboxes.

I managed to fish Rin out of the waterslide fountain and her 'father' Sesshomaru the youkai dog demon plucked Shippou out of the punch bowl just in time for Alex and Cordy to cut the cake and then use the 'morphing' bracelets supplied to them by Jane Huntley to change into their traveling togs. We all trooped downstairs to the docking bays to wish them a bon voyage.

Walker lifted his blushing bride into the skysled before hopping in beside her. Alex tossed the bouquet over her head and we all jumped for it.

SWOOSH! Tessaiga's stroke clove the flowers neatly in half! As a result, almost everyone caught some of the bouquet! The impulse engines roared, the air lock opened and Cordell snapped shut the roof of the sled. The afterburners kicked in with a deafening thunderclap and the newlyweds were gone. At a signal from me, Kouga the wolf youkai demon sealed the air lock and we all trooped upstairs for the wedding reception party and dance.

I was exhausted and after a few eggy noggs, I gathered the kids together with Kagome's help and we spent the next hour or so tucking them into their bunks, reading them bedtime stories and similar bedtime tasks. Then we both sought our own bunks.

The party and dancing and eating and drinking and yes, arguing and fighting lasted until the wee hours of the morning. Around 0400 hours, things finally quieted down and I heard the soft hums of the cleaner 'droids in the rec room doing their thing.

Cleanups were not really all that difficult for us. You see, before the 'droids came out of their cubby holes, all of the chairs, tables, gaming equipment and even the huge bar were retracted into the floor. Then the vaccy 'droids sucked up all the stuff on the floors. They were followed by the swabbie 'droids with mops and buckets who swabbed the decks clean as a whistle. Next came the flying cleaner 'droids who did to the ceiling what their brother and sister 'droids had just done to the decks. Finally, the drying 'droids came on the scene and blasted the room with heated aether.

When the last of the 'droids had vanished back into their own cubbies, the furniture was once more raised into position for the next day's usage. Janey had very magnanimously given most of us the whole day off following the big wedding night. The cowboys, cops, Rangers, Titans and Justice Leaguers were given bridge detail for the day. The rest of us had the day off. I spent mine helping out Janelle with her logs and reports to Mr Garner.

At 1400 hours or so, my cellviddy chirped and I tapped it on. I was greeted by a smiling Alex Cahill Walker and Cordell, her new hubby.

"Hiya Sweetie! We just saw the four suns rise here on this Endorian moon and it was a sight to behold! We got nuttin' like it back home in Dallas or anywhere on Earth for that matter, Romy! Stop that, fresh! I mean it, Walker! This thing's got our pictures on it ya know!

"Oh no! Toss me that bathrobe thingy, Honey! Sorry Romy but we just came back from 'skinny dipping' in the loveliest pool of crystal clear water! Thanks. There, that's better! Darling, come over here and say howdy to Romana and Janelle. We never did get a chance to thank you guys for all you've done for Walker and me, Lovey. When we get back there, we're gonna have a big old Texas Bar-B-Que and everyone's invited over! Right, Walker?" said Alexandra.

"Yup! Everyone and they'd all better come too! Romy, you shoulda seen the big fish thingy I caught last night! Bigger than old Moby Dick himself! Well, we can't stand around here yakkin' all day, kiddo. Say hi to everyone for us and we'll see ya all real soon. You sure made our day, Romana. You and everybody else. A man cannot be considered poor if he has friends and we've got a bushel of ya! I dunno who said that, Alex Honey. We'll hafta ask Jimmy or Uncle Hiram when we see 'em. Take care now, Romy. Walkers out." chuckled the Texas Ranger guy and my vidscreen went blank.

"Well, I am certainly glad that they called us, Romy. I was beginning to worry what with those solar storms around Endor this time of the year. Hey! Want some currant buns and java, dear? I need something to munch on and my throat's gone dry. I never realized how much work goes into running a starship like this one! Whew! I wonder where we are?" said Janey and I shrugged my shoulders.

"Search me, mum. Who's our navvy today?" I replied and Jane checked her PDO unit.

"Nami Richards. I think I'll take a break from this blasted paperwork and red tape. I'm gonna go to the bridge. Be a dear and rep up those buns and java for us, will ya? (I nodded and corrected a line I had just written in a report) Thanks, girl. I owe ya one. Be back in a half hour. You really need to stretch your legs, Romy. All work and no play, ya know?" laughed Janey.

The portals swished shut behind her and I tossed down my own PDO unit and stretched. I slipped on my sandals and tossed the new Dallas 'Boys warmup jacket across my shoulders before I took a promenade around the decks to clear my head. My walk took me to the holodecks where I spent an exjoyable quarter of an hour chatting about space technology with Professor Emil Zarkoff in his office and lab on Planet Mongo. Well, he was just a simulation but he knew everything the real Terran scientist knew and he was a really cool guy.

After I had finished my chat with the kindly old Terran space professor who now made his home on Planet Mongo, I hastened back down to Jane's quarters. I was lucky! I had forgotten all about repping up those currant buns and java for the Commander!

"Darn it all! Where's that blasted repper machine gotten to now? Maybe I'd better use the one in the bedroom. Wonder what dinner's gonna be tonight?" I mused aloud and a replicating unit suddenly materialized on the low table between the sofa and divan in Jane's sitting room!

"Is that the 'blasted repper machine' to which you were referring, Mistress Caldy?" said a cultured male voice. I spun around fast and confronted- nobody! I could have sworn I'd heard something but unless my eyes were deceiving me, I was alone.

"Individual meat loaves topped with mashed potatoes and country gravy; choice of steamed carrots or creamed peas; Yorkshire pudding; cherries jubilee for dessert; java, tea, cocoa or soda pop for a beverage, my dear lady Romana Mandlinkova Caldy." answered another refined voice, female this time! As before, there was nobody else in the room besides Whitey! Was I going baka or gag-ga insane?

"Not a chance, lovely lady. Your thoughts are as clear as crystalline clarity to us. Captains? Is it not rude of us to remain invisible to this fair creature? What do you say, Master Mariner, sir?" said a third voice, definitely male but he certainly didn't sound as much like a genteel gentlman as did the first voice!

"Oh very well, Mr Mansell. Captain Wrack? Mister Mariner? Any of the rest of you in this room. You have my permission to 'decloak' and reveal yourselves to Mistress Caldy and the other Ephemeral creature beside her. I do hope we can relieve our boredom here." said the first male voice, apparently the leader of these things whatever they were!

"I knew someone like you once upon a time, milady. To answer your unspoken query, we are called Eternals just as you are an Ephemeral creature, a mortal albeit one with a rather long life left to live. Frederick Mariner, first officer of the 'Dark Shadow' at your service." said the tall dark-haired gentleman in ancient Terran 19th Century naval uniform attire who had picked up Whitey before he hit the deck after I had dropped the poor doggie in shock.

Slowly the other three materialized and I saw a sea captain, a woman who looked like Anne Bonney, a pirate to judge by her attire topped off by a strange black hat emblazoned with a 'jolly rodger' skull and cross bones and a slightly taller gentleman of the dark persuasion who was clearly an underling although undoubtedly also an Eternal. All four of them made sweeping bows while doffing their headgear to me. All, that is, except for the woman who instead made to me a dainty curtsey a la the Terran Victorian Era!

"Permit me to introduce our leaders Captain Wrack of the 'Buccanneer' (the pirate woman) and Captain Stryker of the 'Dark Shadow'. The jolly fellow there is Mistress Wrack's first officer, Mr Mansell. Madam, I see from your thoughts that you are not in charge of this vessel. Where is Leftenant Colonel Julia Janelle Huntley, my dear child?" asked Mr Mariner in a tone that was quite haughty.

Major Huntley is on the bridge. I thought you Eternals were supposed to know everything, Mr Mariner, sir?" I replied. Captain Stryker fired up his pipe and chuckled.

"Of course we know everything, child. Your Mr Garner will be calling to confirm the fact that Mistress Huntley's promotion to Leftenant Colonel has just come through from 3WA HQ Command. She is getting that call at this very moment. Er, one hesitates to sit while a lady is still standing but I am feeling a mite tired." hinted the Shadow's leader and I invited all of my guests to be seated. I make a terrible hostess, folks!

Just then the outer portals swished aside and the lady in question dashed into the room, beaming all over the place.

"Romy! You'll never guess in a millennia of Sundays what just happened!" bubbled Janey. So excited was she that she failed to even notice that we had visitors!

"Mr Garner just sent us a comm relay signal and you are now a light colonel." I replied without thinking. Then I bit my tongue for spoiling her surprise. Jane looked crestfallen and I hurriedly made the necessary introductions to her.

"Good God! Are you guys gonna beat around Robin Hood's Barn all day? Look here sisters! We sorta want to borrow this nice fast starship of yours to win the big race to ultimate knowledge and if you won't loan it to us, we'll kill all hands aboard and seize the damned thing! Mr Mansell! Relieve our new found friends of any little toys they may be carrying.

"Tom, Better tell old stuffed shirt Edward that I am taking command of us Eternals as of now! What's all that junk in your hands, Mansy? They had all of that crap in their pockets? Toss it all down that jettison tube behind you." ordered Captain Wrack. The 'jettison tube' she was indicating to Mr Mansell was really the room's laundry chute and I hastily pointed out this fact to Mistress Wrack.

"Greetings! How in Gallifrey's onions did you four end up aboard the 'Daedalus'? By any chance, you did not pass through the space/time continuum from 'E Space' to 'N Space' or did you? Of course! That had to be how you got here. Peri! Tegan! Aren't you two ready yet? I'm famished!" howled #6 Doctor the Hatter.

Mistress Periwinkle Brown was lovely in a white on white tailored suit when she entered the room followed by a 'punk bike rocker' who turned out to be Tegan Jovanka under all that leather and latex! The Aussie stomped her booted foot on the deck and screeched at the top of her lungs, effectively deafening us.

"Tur-Lough! The Doctor's starving! I'm sorry I trumped your 'checkmate'. Now come on! My tummy's going all rumbley!" she yelled and a few seconds later a very proper teenaged schoolboy stepped into Jane's sitting room which was starting to look like KabuKichuu Junction Stationhouse at lunchtime on Eastern Shimougou!

"Do we know you, sir? Doctor? But- Aha! You have apparently shape-shifted again since our last encounter. What difference does it make how we got here, Doc? Sure, we came through the continuum but so what?" demanded Wrack.

"Don't any of you remember the 'living flame' of 'She who must be obeyed' and what happened to Alan Quartermain's lady friend 'She' when she stepped through the flame again? Don't any of you remember H Ryder Hagaard and his books from old Terra?" snapped the 'Mad Hatter', pouring tea into cups and spilling most of it onto Jane's new Persian carpeting!

"That which the flame gave the first time 'She' passed through it was taken away from her the second time 'She' passed through it and- Oh my white garters! Captains! Mr Mansell! We are all doomed! We became 'Eternals' that first time we crossed the continuum into 'E Space'. To get over here to 'N Space', we recrossed that same continuum!" explained Mariner.

"So?" chorused Wrack and mansell while Stryker began to look quite sick.

"We are no longer 'Eternals' which no doubt is why it is now almost impossible to know what is in their minds. We have become mere 'Ephemerals'- ordinary mortal men and am ordinary female woman. Now you can spend your life with Tegan, Mariner. We will be bored no longer. However, this time when we die, we will no longer 'transport' back home." explained Captain Stryker.

"Wait! I am sensing another Eternal aboard besides ourselves, Captains! It is Azagorn, the King of the Djinn! Surely he could grant us a wish? We could be Eternal once more!" suggested Mr Mansell hopefully. Mr Mariner shook his head and smiled.

"Not me. I prefer an Ephemeral existence. I have fallen in love as Tegan called it. I want to remain by her side and protect her forever. As Mr Walker is saying to his new bride on Endor's moon, count me out." replied the Shadow's first officer.

"Mr Mariner! Listening in on our thoughts is an invasion of our privacy! Especially when you are listening in at a honeymoon!" I snapped angrily.

A sombre voice suddenly filled the room with evil!

"Do not be deceived, former Eternal comrades! The wish of a Djinn always comes with a high price. Even I, the Guardian of the Dark Places of the Ephemeral mind, would never dare to accept the wish of such a creature! It is a moot point because such a wish would even be beyond the powers of an Eternal Dragon! Not even the great Porunga of Namek or Shenron of Terra could grant ye that which ye have now lost forever. Tell the Doctor that I have not forgotten his meddling in my affairs and that I still have a score to settle with him. Farewell- For now! Ha! Ha! Ha!"

The voice of the Black Guardian of all of the Universes left us as suddenly as it had come!

"Mr Mariner, what is it exactly that Mrs Walker wishes Mr Walker to do that he wishes to be counted out?" demanded the Commander of the 'Daedalus' but all the former Eternal being did was smile and wag a finger at her.

"Unh uh, Colonel. That would be telling. Besides, I can no longer read their thoughts or anyone's for that matter. I have become mortal or rather we have all become mortal and no longer possess that power." explained Mr Mariner who asked that we now call him Richard.

He turned to Peri and Tegan.

"Might a new mortal man be permitted to escort two lovely young ladies to this thing you call dinner? My stomach is feeling strange for some unknown reason." he added. Tegan laughed as did Peri.

"You are feeling hungry, Mr Mar- I mean, Richard. We accept, don't we, Peri?" replied Tegan, taking his arm.

"We certainly do, Richard." said Peri, taking his other arm. Then the two girls sashayed out the portal and down the hall to the lift stations. The 'Hatter' placed his teapot on the table and took Jane and me by the arm and we followed the first trio out the portal and headed for dinner.

"We had better get used to this dinner thing, Mr Mansell. Shall we go, Captain Wrack?" said Captain Stryker.

"Delighted, gentlemen but please call me Evelyn." answered the Buccanneer's captain.

"I believe I wish to be called James." said Mr Mansell.

"Very well, James. Then I wish to be known as Samuel. Shall we go?" said Mr Stryker and arm in arm, they followed in the others' wake.

Halfway down the hall from the dining room, Mr Goatie Smith began bellowing that 'Dinner was served!' so we all hurried to find good seats for First Dinner. Our new mortal friends were amazed at the various beings that peopled our starship but thank heavens, they were all too polite to say anything stupid! Samuel, James and Richard insisted on seating all of the ladies and refused to take their own seats before this ritual had been accomplished.

Not so the Sons and the Briefs, the demons and the Alchemists who simply grabbed empty chairs, sat down and left their own 'ladies' to be seated by the 'new kooks' as InuYasha called the sailing ships' officers. I suddenly had a terrible thought.

"Excuse me, please. Samuel? (Captain Stryker turned to me plolitely) Now that the 'Enlightenment' race has ended, where will you take your schooners?" I asked and Mr Mariner, I mean, Richard, grinned at me.

"The 'Black Shadow' and the 'Buccanneer' no longer exist, Mistress Caldy. When we ceased to be Eternals, all of our creations which had existed only through the power of our own wills, became as nothing. If you pardon my affrontery, Madam, what is your Christian name? Everyone aboard this vessel seems to be on a first name basis. I do so want to fit in now that I am Ephemeral like you, my new friends." said Richard Mariner. I smiled and shook his hand.

"That's OK. No insult intended and none taken. My name is Romana. Call me Romy. Everyone else does." I replied. That seemed to break the social barriers' ice and soon everyone was introducing themselves to Samuel, Evelyn, James and Richard.

Suddenly Rin remembered something, apparently important because she jumped up from her chair and raced for the gantryway stairs, her 'uncles', 'aunt' and 'father' not far behind the scamp. Both Janey and I were curious as were our new friends and most of the others at table so we too decided to play 'follow the leader'.

The Saiyaans, which now included Trunks, Bra, Gohan, Goten and Pan besides Chi Chi, Bulma, Goku and Vegeta, kept right on stuffing themselves much to their wives' and mothers' chagrin. Finally, Bulma and Chi Chi stood up.

"Well? Aren't any of you curious? (Goku belched and began tearing apart his 12th Cornish game hen) Don't any of you want to see what Rin went upstairs for? Honey? (Vegeta stabbed Goku's hand with his fork. Then he used it to spear another steak, his 19th) Well, we are going! Come along, kids. (The 3 boy and 2 girls who took after the male side of the clans merely started heaping their plates with more food) Oh! I give up! C'con Cheech!" yelled Bulma Brief and Mrs Son nodded her head in agreement.

"They are simply pigs! Now they even have my sons and our grand-daughter and your brood picking up on your husband's bad habits, my dear." said Chi Chi Son whose Daddy ruled the Terrans' 'Ox' kingdom.

"Whadda ya mean by 'my husband', dammit? Where do you think Vegeta's bad table manners come from, Blondie!" snapped the blue-maned fireball. Hoping to stave off yet another catfight, Uncle Hiram MacDougal took each lady by an arm and gently but firmly ushered them to the lift stations.

"Now now, ladies. They cannot help being so piggish. It's an hereditary trait common to all Saiyaans. Come. I believe I know why little Rinny got so excited. It's almost 1800, sorry Cheech, six o'clock. She doesn't want to miss seeing a glimpse of her new home now that it has been 'EDEN-ized'. Unless I miss my guess, we are about to pass 'Victorine' where you and your families will soon be living, my children." explained the big bluff and jolly Scotsman.

"New home?" asked a puzzled Chi Chi while Bulma looked bewildered.

"I don't understand, Hi. Surely I'll be using my 'Lady Foucault' timeship to transport the whole kit and kaboodle back home to Terra, our own home world, won't I?" asked the Blue-haired bombshell. He shook his head.

"Afraid not, my dear. Surely you realize that you cannot break the quantum physics laws for any reason? You would have to return to the exact sport on your Terra world and land there at the exact instant that you left it. Not even a time lord could guarantee that he or she could accomplish that feat, I fear.

"As you are all fictional anime characters, you and all of our other fictional friends will be transported to 'Victorine' where you will now be living. Not to worry. It'll look, sound, smell, taste and feel exactly like your old home world. I am afraid that the 'lady Foucault' must never be permitted to return to your Terra world again ever.

"These laws and orders come from the Guardians of all of the Universes and nobody can go against them without dire consequences. I apologize but it is all for the best you see." answered the old professor quietly.

"Not even a time lord, Hi? Not even Lord Rassilon?" asked Chi Chi who was sniveling into her hanky and trying to hide her tears with no success at all. After all, she came up with the kids for a quiet visit with Zoe's family on Pluto, not to stay behind forever!

"Not even Lord Rassilon, Mrs Son. I am very sorry but as you folks say 'Que sera sera'. If we permitted you to return, all of the Universes would suffer chaos and destruction and nothing would ever be the same again." said the familiar bearded floating head of the time lords' founder. I boldly met his gaze and asked a question.

"Milord? Is this then the 'Final Galactic Solution' that Mr Galadriel and Mr Garner told us would be explained to us on Shimougou after the holidays, sir?" I almost screeched at the poor guy.

"Yes, my child. I asked that they not say anything about this until after the new year. That way you would all have had a nice holiday season at least. I hope you understand why we have withheld this information from you, Romy?" replied the head.

"I do, Milord. Thank you for your candour. There was really no other way." I said and then Cheech's waterworks burst a floodgate!

"All well and good for you, Romana but you will soon be going back home with Jonathan, won't you?" whined Chi Chi but I frowned at her.

"Home? What home? I have been banned from my home world of Gallifrey. I can never return to 'Warrior's Gate'. I cannot even go to assist the Garm and the other Nyssa at 'Terminus' in combatting 'Lazzerzie' amongst the unfortunates there. Both Jon and myself have been offered positions with the 3WA and we have gratefully accepted them. Grow up and think of your children, ladies! What kind of life would they have on Terra?

"They would be ridiculed as 'half breeds'. Half human and half Saiyaan. Ask our big hanyou, Dog Boy, pardon me, InuYasha what that feels like when you are growing up! My husband's trying to start anew and turn over a new leaf rather than continue his life of crime, isn't he? Think that'll be easy, Cheech? He will always be hoping that he doesn't run into anyone from his past life and be tempted back into the 'game'! Of course, I'll stand by Jon but a wife can only do so much to help her husband.

"Buck up, dry your tears and look on this as a new beginning for you, a new challenge for everyone. Now we had better hurry to the 'star room' if we don't want to miss seeing your new home. Coming, Uncler Hi?" I said and the five of us strolled down the hallway.

The blast of light from 'Victorine's three suns and numerous moons was dazzling and caused me to shade my eyes. Then someone pressed a pair of dark goggles into my hands. Bulma and Cheech had already put on their sunglasses as had almost everyone in the room. For some reason, the light did not seem to be effecting the Saiyaan kids in the least.

Someone had given Rin an old pair of ancient Terran '3-D glasses' which had lenses of blue and red and she was 'oohing' and 'ahhing' at the colours, the trees, the waters, the animals, in short, everything that had not been there a few short weeks ago when we had dropped the 'EDEN seed' on the planet. The transformation was staggering!

Terraforming is one thing but to already be supporting life? Both flora and fauna as well as animal? Soon to be used to sustain human, Saiyaan, demonic, magic and other forms of life? This was amazing!

"Not even Tom Swift could have ever imagined this being possible." said an awestruck Dr Zarkoff.

"Jules Verne would have never had a clue that this could ever be accomplished." breathed Hiram in a whisper.

The kids and most of the rest of us had no idea what these two great scientific minds were babbling about, including me!

Suddenly a shadow passed over 'Victorine' and then it was gone. Dr Z and Professor Mac saluted the world that was now just a tiny spec in the darkness of space behind us and it was rapidly disappearing from our view.

"Hope everyone had a good gander at what, for most of ya, is soon gonna be home sweet home. We will reach 'Ariadne's Thread' before 2100 hours, 9 PM tonight. By 2230 hours, we will have negotiated its tunnels and by 0600 hours, 6 AM tomorrow we should be sighting Shim's outer markers. Before lunch, her inner ones and then we just let Colonel Shikamaru's gang take over the drivin' for us. Enjoy the trip, folks. Solo out."

The squawkboxes went silent and we all breathed a sigh of relief that the 'Thread' was not still under repair like the 'Adonis Arch' and other anomalies we always used for short cuts home. The 'Thread', unlike most wormholes, was not natural. It had been terraformed as a direct tunnel to Eastern Shimougou. The 'Arch' was how one got to Western Shimougou in a hurry but ever since the 'Angel 2's 'trucking' disaster, it was still being re-terraformed and it was a damned slow process!

I had asked Gene Starwind for an estimate of time for repairing the 'Arch' and he had laughed. Then he had quickly amade some mental calculations and told me that id Gysymeo didn't freeze completely over, a rough estimate was by the solar year AD 2265! We were a few months away from celebrating AD 2260 so at least five more years, half a decade of headaches for the Elenore City 3WA tro-cons! Then I recalled that Jon and I had accepted pilot jobs from the HQ based in that city! Ouch!

Well, that's all in the future and the first thing we had to do was get through the holidays and a few birthdays. Then we would be ferrying folks out to 'Victorine'. Allison would be visiting her charges on this new world a few times each year in her new position of ambassador from both Gallifrey and Shimougou. I knew that she had asked for the 'Daedalus' for her flagship but Mr Galadriel and Mr Garner had refused her request.

Allie was too refined a lady to ask why and I too held my tongue. Nobody had ever accused the Boss of being a lady so-

"Why the Hell not, Uncle Vito? Chuckie? Dammit all! She's done a bang up job for us, ain't she? All she asked for was a little starcruiser to use and you said no! What's she gonna have to do- book a flight with 'Kaguran Air Systems'? She's our damned ambassador, ain't she? Ours and Galli's, right? So why won't ya five here the 'Dae', huh?" demanded the firebrand Hellcat.

"Because she's being given the 'Lovely Angel 5' instead. Before you say anything, Vice-Marshall Donovan (Our Yuri) has been promoted from Commodore Supreme so she can assume her new duties as Dean of the Academy, your old job. You will remain as commander of all 3WA military forces from your own flagship, the 'LA2'. Julia Janelle Huntley, now Brigadier jg will remain as commander of the 'Daedalus'. You and Jon Caldy will be test piloting the 'TS Kronos 1' and is sister ship the 'TS Rassilon 1'. These are time ship prototypes and are very hush hush even within the 3WA. In fact, only very select members of the Federation know that we are even 'thinking' about designing them so mum's the word. Anything else, chiefs?" said General Anton Wilhelm Gustav who was now the military head of Dr Cueball's research and development department at the 3WA.

"Just to say that in order to keep a lid on things here in the East, we have secretly constructed a base which is orbiting Western Shimougou. In fact, it's the same place where Keisie (Miss O'Halloran's AD 2140 counterpart in the 3WA) 'almost' blasted a hole in the continuum way back when. Romana and Jonathan Caldy will be 'quantum leaping' from that base so that anyone who has infiltrated the Elenore City HQ will be hopelessly lost. That's why we 'leaked' the word that we had a new base of ops in our EC HQ out West. Now I'm sure you all want to do some last minute shopping or just take a break and relax. As of now, everyone on our mission ships 'Daedalus' and 'Coriander' as well as the flagship 'LA2' is on leave until the end of JanFeb AD 2260. Get out there and enjoy yourselves. The KP Police and the ISSP have already been advised that you are being let loose on our unsuspecting city! Have fun." said Mr Garner, rising to his feet.

Most of us also rose to our own feet. Then Mr Popo dismissed us. On the way out the portals, Mr Galadriel insisted on shaking everyone's hands and thanking each of us for a 'job well done'. When it was my turn, I felt a tingling or a trilling in my jacket pocket.

"Who could be calling me here?" I asked Rio who merely shrugged her shoulders and hailed a holocab for us. I fished out my vidcellphone but there was only a message from Jon asking if I wanted to eat out tonight. I tapped in a reply that I'd rather stay in and that I'd pick us up a pizza or three and be home early. We were staying at the Academy's dorms. Then I decided to check my funds so I dug out my PayVoucher PDO Unit and hit 'Current Balance Funds' on it. I almost dropped the thing!

It read that the few hundred UniCreds I thought I had had left had suddenly grown to 1.6 million! Sure I heard of the famous 3WA bonuses but this was ridiculous! I asked for a confirmation and got it. UC 1,617, 317 plus $$ 1,429 and c/c/ 2500! The double dollars and senny cenns were currency on 'Gunsmoke' where Jon and I had visited with Presidential Advisor Knives Benedict on a diplomatic issue. I had been Negotiator, Jon had tagged along for the gambling.

By chance, I looked down below the final tally figures and I read 'By personal order of VFX Galadriel' under them! The 3WA sure seemed to be a great place to work and Mr Galadriel was one Hell of an employer! I think we're gonna like working here.

It was such a nice sunny day despite the three suns that I waved off Rio and the others in their holocab and decided to walk to HQ. Suddenly a big black Torino pulled up beside me and Jonny Smith rolled down the window.

"Want a lift, Romana? HQ's not anywhere near as close as it looks. Close to 25 kilometres as a matter of fact. C'mon. Get in." invited our resident Angel and when big Mark Gordon smiled at me, I got into the back seat. The ride to HQ took only a few minutes. I handed over our vid reports and logs as instructed and received a vid receipt for them. I asked the clerk about a nice pizza palace and she suggested I try 'Fabrizio & Josephina's which was just around the corner and they delivered too.

Mark already had a vidcard from F&J's and gave one to me. Jonny suggested lunch to which Mark agreed and I nodded.

"How's about this 'Moon Over Mayhem' place the Boss told me about?" asked Mark. I put the kibosh on that battle moon nightclub immediately! I had already heard about TC Lily's run in there with Ellie Hathaway a few years back which had turned into a free for all donnybrook!

"What's wrong with the Academy dorms' cafeteria? We can 'rep' what we want if we don't like the food." suggested Jonny Smith and I was all for that idea. I never realized just how tiring space voyages can seem even after they are over. I yawned and Mark put the pedal to the metal. We ate cheeseburgers, fries, onion rings, milkshakes and java. Then we had black forest cherry torte for dessert. I had to be reminded by the waitress in the cafeteria that down here on the planet's surface, one could quite easily pack on the kilograms so I limited myself to one dessert. Yup! Even us time ladies have to watch our weight sometimes.

When I had first started seeing Jonathan, I had gained close to 15 kilograms (A kg equals 2.2 pounds so you do the math) and it showed too! Jonny soon took to calling me 'Tub O' Lard' and 'Old Blubbergut'! Of course, Jon's metabolism was such that he could eat and drink what he liked and never gain a single milligram! Lucky duckie! I finally joined 'Bernice Brag', did my exercises and ate the special 'take off those kilos, Love!' foods and drinks until I had lost those excess kilos.

I excused myself after lunch and asked 'CC' to locate my hubby for me. 'CC' found him at the spaceport's motor pool so I simply left him a message to be home by six and I'd have dinner ready for him. Then I spent the rest of the afternoon in the Academy's huge 'Bibliophile' and borrowed several vidnovels and a few technical journals.

Like Fllaysie and Rio, I preferred online shopping from ' /kg' and when I returned to our rooms in the dorms, I did some last minute Kurisumasu (Christmas) shopping and had them delivered to my temporary office at 3WA HQ in town. Then I vidded 'F&J's pizza palace and ordered pizza, chips, garlic bread, beer, sodas and java for dinner to be delivered before six. As an afterthought, I ordered Jon's favourite dessert- blueberry crumble.

Since my message had told Jon dinner was at six, I would not see him until at least seven. That gave me extra time that I spent sending out holiday vidcards. I hoped that since I'd been banned from Galli that my holiday vids would not also be banned.

Doctor #6 the 'Mad Hatter' came to call at teatime (1600 hours or 4 PM) and as usual, he had brought his own tea, java, scones, trifles, pies, cakes, etc. including his own teapot, all of which he produced from his overflowing pockets. It turned out that he was staying next door along with Peri, Tegan and Nyssa. The first two couldn't wait to visit the famed Higurashi Mall and the third was with him. Poor girl was so overdressed that I excused us to #6 and took her into my bedroom and lent her some more modern clothes for teatime. What was I wearing?

A long Kafka-esque sweatshirt, gym shorts, no socks and an old pair of Jon's trainers (sneakers).

No! I was wearing 3WA uniform togs the rest of the day but I was home and I could wear whatever I pleased now.

Nyssa came out of my bedroom and looked to me for approval. I nodded and she looked gorgeous in black turtleneck sweater, grey pantsuit and short white boots. A lot better than that Victorian Era silk and lace monstrosity and big floppy hat and white kid gloves that the 'Hatter' had stuck her into and she seemed more at ease now as well. Guess she'd been terrified of spilling anything on that museum piece frock she's been in before.

"I say, Romy? Do my girls need to dress for dinner?" he asked, twirling his monocle. Ye gods! Did Mr Peabody hand those things out to the guys like party favours?

"Huh? Nah. Just casual stuff is fine. By the way, Jon and I are having a quiet dinner up here but we may see ya for breakfast tomorrow." I answered and he raised his eyebrows a fraction.

"Special dinner?" he asked, polishing his monocle. Who did he think he was anyway? Mr Toad of Toad Hall, perhaps?

"I'm having pizza delivered and Jon's favourite dessert of blueberry pie. Ooh! Jon likes it a la mode so I'd better rep up some ice cream. (I glanced up at the wall chromo) If there's nothing else, it's getting late and I do have to change. (Nyssa got up and walked towards my bedroom portal) That's OK, Honey. Keep it. I can just rep up another one if I need it.

"Doctor? Don't forget any of your dishes, silverware or cutlery. Here's the teapot and my cup and saucer. Let me get the portals for you. That colour looks very becoming on you, Nyssa dear. Luna! Careful, Doctor. Don't tread on Luna. She's usually so quiet. Have a nice dinner tonight. You know where the dorms' cafeteria is, don't you/ Good. Have a pleasant evening. Good afternoon, Doctor, Nyssa. Come again soon." I said and when they had gone, I drew a hot bath and luxuriated in some house bubble bath crystals I found in the bathroom.

Suffice it to say that Jon and I had a very pleasant dinner and a swell evening. After all, we hadn't been married even a year yet so technically that made us still newlyweds, did it not?

The next morning Gene informed us that we had exited whatever anomaly or wormhole we had used and had long since passed 'Shim's 'outer markers'. I breakfasted and then since we were now within 'Shim's atmosphere, a few of us had decided on venturing outside on the promenade deck on the highest level of the 'Daedalus'.

Unfortunately for Deanna and her crew, the 'Coriander' had no such luxury. They would have to content themselves with looking out the 'windows' of their own promenade deck. I asked Blue if the flagship had an outside deck and he said yes. Then he told me that because of Mr Garner's orders that it had long since been sealed off.

That meant that Edie Jordan and Allison Victorine Prydonia were stuck inside until we reached the Academy spacetower. Thank Kami for small favours, I thought to myself.

"Yes, we seem to be the only ship in the group that is allowed an outside deck, Romy. If you're thinking of a sunbath, kiddo, forget it. 'Shim's triple suns are murder! I apologize but we Beta Zoids just can't help reading minds! Blue's trained himself to block off other's thoughts and so has Deanna (Troi). However, I just cannot seem to get the knack for it. Are you going outside in those shorts, Honey?" asked Zoe Morton and I nodded. She shook her head.

"Why not? I thought that the 3WA didn't give a turnip what we wore?" I snapped back at her. She grinned.

"The triple suns are murder and can bake you instantly into a char-broiled lobsteryl fish (I found out later that up here unlike Terran lobsters which were Crustaceans, lobsteryls are fish!) that's true. However, the atmosphere's temperature is close to minus 65 Kelvin or in terms you'll understand, 25 degrees below zero Fahrenheit! Most of us can only manage a quick stroll outside, Lovey." giggled the chief navvy.

"And you?" I asked.

"Me? I'm a Plutonian, dear. Minus 25 Fahrenheit is a walk in the park to me but I will still change into suitable attire before I venture outside! My Mama didn't raise no fool, that she most certainly did not, Romana. Let's get you into some proper clothing before we go out there. Follow me, child." said Zoey and I followed her like Mary's little lamb.

I soon found out that most of the crew and passengers had no desire to accompany us on our walk. In the end only Sherlock, John Watson, Joe Friday, Bill Gannon, Cisco, Pancho, Zorro, Rio DelCroix, 'Cat' Vincent, 'Kitten' Hopkins, Han and Leia, Gene and 'Whitey' decided to 'test the air temps' as Uncle Hiram MacDougal called them. Although a Scot, he was no idiot as Mr Peabody called all of us!

Two sets of 'long johns', three sweatshirts, a heavy fisherman's woolen sweater, fur parka, fur cap, fur gloves, three pairs of woolen ski pants, four pairs of woolen socks and heavy deck boots later, I was pronounced ready by Milady Morton! Her attire was a simple flightsuit, fur cap, fur gloves, deck boots and a fur parka. The rest of our party were wrapped up like Randy Parker, Ralphie's little brother in that old Terran vidfilm 'A Xmas Story' we had all seen a few nights ago.

Han led the way and then opened the inner airlock and ushered us inside it. Then he closed it and opened the outer airlock.

"Hang onto your shorts and don't get too close to the rail! There's an energy barrier in place but those solar winds could shred that like Leia's silk nightie! (Leia may have blushed but under all the furs, who could tell?) Brace yourselves!" yelled Han Solo and the airlock slid aside.

WHOOSH! We were being buffetted about like ragdolls in the teeth of a 300 kph (200 mph) solar wind! The suns were dazzling! I pulled the goggles over my eyes and wished to Hell that I had listened to Zoey's advice and stayed inside!

There was nothing to see save brilliant sunshine from the triple suns of our destination. Walking was a chore and we gave it up after just a few agonizing steps! Leia grabbed my arm and dragged me back from the rail. She lost her grip and I fell forwards right at the rail!

WHOOM! I was ricocheted back into Cisco and Pancho who caught me easily and then all of us fought our way back to the airlock hatch. Soon we were inside the ship with both airlocks closed and sealed behind us! I was frozen to the bone! I had never before been that close to my third regeneration as I had been in those few frightful seconds when I thought I was going over the rail into the atmosphere above 'Shimougou'!

The 'Hatter' graciously allowed us to take turns using his TARDIS's huge bathing pool which was heated all the time! I wanted to let Rio or someone else use the facilities but #6 Doctor firmly dragged me inside the Type 40 (Mark Five?) and down numerous hallways and stairwells until we had reached the bathing pool bathroom.

"Poppet! You feel like you've just been to Gysymeo! In the winter! Get those furs off and get into that pool! Of course I'm leaving! I am not like the 'Cricketer' (#5 Doctor who was aboard the 'Coriander') and some of the others aboard here! I am shocked that you thought that I was like them! Hurry up, my dear. Others are waiting to use the pool! What ever possessed you idiots to venture outside before we reached the 'inner markers' anyway? Never mind. You can tell me later. Have a nice bath." said my benefactor and I was grateful when I had finally shucked off my outer and inner wear and had slid into the warming waters in the buff.

I am afraid that I got a little piggish and spent almost an hour in the warm water before I got out and looked for a drying alcove. Of course! The Doctor was old-fashioned so I had to content myself with a warm bathtowel and dressing gown. I made a bundle of my discarded attire and slipped on the flip flops I found by the pool. Then I realized that I had no idea where I was on the TARDIS or how to get back to the control room!

"Follow the luminous yellow arrows on the walls and floors, Poppet. I am surprised that you have forgotten the way back up here. Hurry now because the others are waiting and some of them are quite cross with you for taking so much time in the tub!" The Doctor's merry voice resounded throughout the entire room!

I found the glowing arrows and I had soon reached the control room where I let myself out and back onto the 'Daedalus'.

"I'm next, dammit! About time, Miz Caldy!" yelped Rio and she was off to the races. I heard the Hatter telling her to follow the yellow arrows and it reminded me of Alice Liddell's 'Yellow Brick Road' to the 'Emerald City' on 'Oz'! I sneezed and sniffled a little. Bad thing to do next to Nurse Dixie McCall who dragged me off to sick bay and Drs Mike, Kelly and Joe!

"Well, it's not pneumonia thank God! It's a miracle that none of them caught anything more than a slight cold out there! Young lady, you have the flu. I prescribe bed rest, hot drinks and soup and in my capacity as a Subaltern, I am confining you to your quarters until we land wherever the devil we are landing. No arguments, Mrs Caldy! Dix? Take her to her rooms." said a very upset Dr Kelly Brackett as Dix led me out of sick bay.

"Next!" yelled Dr Mike Morton whose bedside manner was improving every day.

"I deduce that I have a slight cold and I prescribe-" began Mr Holmes. Dr Watson was sitting on a bunk draped in blankets with his feet in a basin of hot water, a hot toddy in his fist.

"Who's the doctor here, sir? You or me? You have the flu. Same treatments, Nurse Huntley. How many more, Joe?" said Kelly. Dr Joe Early was doing 'treage' which was like choosing who was in worse trouble and who could wait awhile same as the doctors on MASH.

"Just a few, Kell. Quite a few of them took off when they saw the autohypos on the trays. Big sissies! Nurse?" replied Joe and Neko Olson ran over with a basin of hot water for Bill Gannon's toesies. By this time, we were well down the hallway and entering the lift.

"You get in bed and stay there, Missie. Doctor's orders. OK, 'Whitey' can stay but only if you're a good little girl. I have to get back to Kelly. I'll bring you some hot soup. The Rangers (CD Parker and Jimmy Trivette) have cooked up a lot of chicken soup for you guys. See ya later. Stay in bed, Honey. Bye." said my angel of mercy as she left me.

About an hour later after a nice nap, I tossed back the blankets and got up from my bunk. I opened my armoire and pulled ot jeans and a shirt, socks and boots. I tossed off my pajamas.

"Mistress! You have been prescribed bed rest! I am very sorry but should you attempt to leave these rooms, I must stun you! My orders come from sick bay's chief medical officer, Major Brackett! Please go back to bed, Mistress." said one of the K-9 data dog units.

I glanced towards the suite's portals and I saw that K-9 was guarding it! I dressed quickly and entered my sitting room. His head lolled forwards and crept on tiptoe to the portals, my boots in my hands. As soon as my hand was almost touching the portal release panel-

ZANG! My fingers stung from the stunning blast the 'sleepy' K-9 had just delivered! I nursed my stung fingers and then I glowered at the dog thing which was still daring me to try and leave my own quarters!

"I apologize, Mistress but my orders are to keep you here and I cannot refuse to obey them. Please do not attempt to escape from these rooms again, Mistress. This is for your own good, Mistress." said K-9 and I sat down heavily on the divan. Luna and Artemis jumped onto my lap while 'Whitey' curled up at my feet. Were they in on this conspiracy as well?

"How long do your orders say that you must confine me here, K-9?" I asked, stretching out my stockinged feet and idly flipping through the televid screen's signal stations. I tossed down my PDO unit in disgust and sulked.

"Ten thousand signals and nothing to watch that's any damned good on any of them!" i whined.

"Why not read a vidnovel, Mistress or do some 'Zamazon' shopping for Kurisumasu (Christmas), Mistress?" suggested K-9.

"Dammit all, I'm a pilot, not a homebody, K-9! It's bad enough being cooped up inside this ship for another bloody day but to not even be allowed to use the 'star room' or the holodecks is the pits!" I sniffled.

"Pits, Mistress? What do incredibly deep holes in the surface have to do with your confinement to your quarters, Mistress?" asked a perplexed K-9.

"Huh? I dunno really. It's just a word that Tegan and Peri use all the time. K-9? Were you given specific orders about me from anyone besides Dr Kelly Brackett? If so, what were those orders exactly? While you're at it, I want to know what Dr Kelly's exact orders to you were. I order you to tell me these orders, K-9." I said and the poor little thing waggled its tail and wiggled its ears while oscillating its entire head in a complete 360 degree circle. I'd seen this tantrum before.

"That won't work on me, doggie. I know damned well that you have been programmed to answer any questions put to you and I also know that K-9 units cannot lie. At least my K-6 unit was not able to tell falsehoods. So answer me, K-9." I added.

"The Doctor ordered me to not permit you to leave these rooms through these hallway portals, Mistress. Major Dr Brackett ordered me to confine you to your quarters and to keep you there, Mistress." replied the data doggie unit.

"Aha! As a matter of fact- Search your memory banks for Romana Mandlinkova Caldy (I had forgotten my damned ranking at the moment) and tell me what you find under 'living quarters' for that person." I commanded and the tail waggled again while the ears wiggled and the head nodded up and down.

"Caldy, Romana nee Mandlinkova, Subaltern, 3WA, Federation officer. Assigned to patrol ship 'Daedalus' as pilot and yeoman. Current location, Deck 4-G, Commander's Quarters. Originally assigned to Deck 2-L, Guest Quarters 6-D, Mistress." he answered after a short interval.

"Correct. What area is our current location? Is this Deck 2-L, Guest Quarters 6-D, K-9?" I asked with a smirk on my face. There was more 'computing' and then-

"Negative, Mistress. Your current location is Deck 4-G, Commander's Quarters 6-D, Mistress. You are not in your own quarters as ordered, Mistress. Mistress. I cannot allow you to leave these rooms through these portals, Mistress." he replied.

"K-9? Did not Dr Brackett order me to 'MY' quarters to be confined? These are not 'MY' quarters, are they?" I reasoned with him logically. I had not traveled with 'Old Scarfy' for nothing ya know. K-9 was ruled by logic as were all computers, even that obnoxious 'CC' on 'Shimougou'.

"Mistress! I cannot permit you to leave these rooms through these portals! I cannot disobey these orders, Mistress." he replied. I grinned at him and slid my feet into my boots and pulled on my jacket.

"Who asked you to disobey your orders, doggie dear? However, I am leaving these rooms and you cannot stop me." I said, pulling on my gloves and arming myself with my 'Panther' derringer and laser sword hilt.

"You cannot get past me to operate the portals release, Mistress. If you attempt it, I must stun you again, Mistress." reasoned a confused K-9. I walked to the fireplace and tapped 'Kaw Lija'/'Maggie' before removig a cheroot from the Chief's offering hand.

"I didn't say that I was using any portals, K-9, did I? I'm using 'Maggie' (The former CO Allison Prydonia had left her TARDIS behind for the new Commander Janelle Huntley to use. Its exterior resembled an old wooden Terran cigar store Red Indian Chief that Allie had christened 'Kaw Lija' same as 'maggie' was her TARDIS's name) for a short hop to my own quarters two levels down. Nothing in Dr Brackett's or Doctor #6's orders saying that I am forbidden to leave these rooms using any exit other than the front portals, is there? (He shook his head and admitted that was true) OK, I'm off. Luna, Artemis, 'Whitey'! Shake those paws and get aboard. Coming, doggie?" I chortled and three balls of fur flashed past us and through the Chief.

I stood aside and K-9 trundled aboard with me bringing up the rear. As soon as we were all aboard 'Maggie', I closed the 'doors' and then there was the familiar whine as the pylon in the console's centre post began to 'pil drive' up and down for the few nano-seconds it took us to traverse two decks.

"Last stop, guys. Everybody out. You too, K-9. Hurry along now." I ordered and we all stepped from 'Maggie' and through 'Kaw-Lija' into my quaint chintzy sitting room which Jon and I had been sharing until he'd been reassigned after our last mission.

I sat down and put my booted feet up on the java table and activated the televid. Somehow, I had chanced upon a signal station that had a decent vidfilm on it- Some cool guy was singing about some place called 'OK Corrall' and yakking about Earps, McClorys, Clantons and Ringos going on some kind of holiday! Lots of dudes like Cisco and Pancho on horse things and using old antique hand weapons which fired something called 'bullets' into each other! Everyone there seemed to a habitual user of 'Synthenol' but unlike our stuff, these dudes were stumbling all over the place and passing out a lot!

There were no Mike Mortons or Joe Earlies or Kelly Bracketts though to help them! Not even a Nurse like our Dixie McCall and our 'drafted nurse' Julia Janelle Huntley either! I watched it until the gambler, the tall dued and two of his three brothers were the only ones left! The other guys were all 'ready to push up the daisies', whatever that meant! To me, they just looked dead! Then the cool guy began to sing again and some guy told me I should get down to 'Tracy's right away to buy some kind of junk that was on sale.

I yawned and thought about mentioning the 'sale' to Rio, Fllaysie and Nami, then remembered that I had not gotten the dot Shim or dot Kg address they would have needed to find it online. I glanced at my wristchromo and warmed up some leftover pizza for lunch. Beats soup any day! Soup? Why had I thought of that? I puzzled that thought while I fed the critters as jamie MacCrimmon called our pets and allowed K-9 to plug in and recharge. Something about soup seemd important but what?

"OK Honey, here's Auntie Dixie with your nice hot chicken soup made by the Rangers for us. K-9? Open this door, please. Come on, doggie! OK, you asked for it! McCall Stethescope Autohypo. Override portal release!" yelled an angry voice from the hallway outside of Deck 4-G, CQ 6-D and the portals slid aside with a swishing sound. Nurse McCall entered carryong a tray of hot soup and crackers and a mug of strong hot tea.

"What the Hell? Where is everyone? Romy? K-9? 'Whitey'? Luna? Artie? Anybody? McCall to Brackett! Call security! Our patient in 4-G, Suite 6-D has flown the coop, Kell! See you in five. McCall out." she said and set down the tray on the java table.

"Like I said, Kell. the place is empty. Even K-9's gone. The rest of the stuff is still there except that ugly old Indian Chief statue but maybe I just imagined it. I was pretty damned upset." reported Dixie to her own boss man. Joe and Mike looked as worried as Hell and Janey's face went chalk white.

"That statue belonged to Commander Allison and she called it 'Kaw-Lija' after that old Charlie Bride song." said Mike Morton.

"Strange. I thought she called it 'Maggie', Mike." replied Joe Early.

"Security team to the bridge! Stat!" trilled Commander Huntley, taking immediate charge. This was no longer a medical problem. I heard about all this stuff later, you see?

"You are both correct, gentlemen. However, that 'Indian' is really Commander Prydonia's TARDIS Type 40 machine. It moves in both space and time. If we lose it or let it get stolen, there's sure to be jikoku (Hell) to pay when she finds out! Come with me! All of you and that's an order! Pancho! You're in charge of sick bay for now. Let's go!" snapped our Commander.

"What about Miz Caldy, ma'am?" asked Mike.

"What about my patients, Missy?" thundered Kelly.

"OK! Brackett, you stay. Pancho's still in charge. We'll worry about Milady Romana later. Finding 'Maggie' is our top priority! Have you any idea what could happen if a TARDIS fell into the wrong hands? Like Khan's!" yelled Huntley.

"Good grief! What a can of worms you just opened, Romy! I know where you are so just sit tight. I'll be there in a nano!" shouted Zoey Morton inside my skull! Damned Beta Zoid pest!

"I heard that!" snapped Zoey as my suite's portals snapped open and the chief navigator ran inside.

"Navvy Morton to Commander Huntley! Call off the search! I have located both Caldy and 'Maggie' and both are quite safe. Come to Deck 2-L, Suite 6-D at once. Navvy Morton out." trilled Zoey. Then she turned her angry eyes my way!

"You got some 'splainin' to do, my girl. Since when can you operate a TARDIS?" demanded the navvy. I bristled! If I was a Suba then we were of equal ranking. Who was she to go all high horsey on me anyhow?

"Duh! Since I am a 'time lady' from Gallifrey, Morton! What's the big deal dammit! I used logic to leave my confinement and come here. If anyone's to blame it's Brackett and 'Hatter'!" I yelled.

"The 'big deal', Suba, as you put it, is that we thought the TARDIS had been hijacked by somebody like Khan and that you had been kidnapped! Security, place Suba Caldy under arrest and confine her to the brig. She remains there under guard until I decide otherwise and that's a bloody damned order! Jamie! The critters are your responsibility. Get Leila to help you round them up. Use my quarters if you like. K-9? You're with me. All previous orders you were given are hereby countermanded by my override. OK folks, show's over and no harm done so get back to your whatever you were doing. Better get back to the nav room, Zoey. Thanks for the assist." said a very businesslike Commander Huntley.

The last sound I heard was the whoosh when the triple force beam barriers activated for my small brig cell. Sure they'd neglected to search me so I still had my laser sword and ion bolt derringer but neither would function inside the brig! I was more angry with me than I was with anyone else! Well maybe I was steamed at Zoey a little because she didn't try hard enough to dissuade me from visiting that damned outside promenade deck! Nope! That was my fault as well. Even 'Old Scarfy' had admonished me on more than one occasion for my stubbornness and bull-headedness!

I settled back on my bunk and tried to relax. Surely the Commander could not confine me here after tomorrow? We were landing soon, right?

"This is Acting Pilot Jonny Angel Smith, folks. We have just locked in on 'Shimougou's 'inner markers' and we'll be landing in another few solar hours at the Academy spaceport. OK Mark, I'll tell 'em! Third Dinner is now being served in our dining room. Bon appetit! Smith out."

After the squawkboxes had gone silent, my tummy began rumbling. I'd had nothing but pizza all day! I got up and walked to the 'door' of my cell. Just a few criss-crossed lines of pretty lights but I knew from my earlier experience outside what would happen if I touched the darn things!

"Guard! Guard! Where's my dinner? I'm starving, dammit!" I shouted and Dog Boy and Wolfie walked over to my cell followed by Alice 'Wonderland' Liddell who looked stunning in a dazzling green jumpsuit. More important, she was carrying my dinner tray and it smelled heavenly!

"Be a good kid, will ya, Romy?" yawned Kouga.

"Yeah, we were tryin' to sleep, Romana and your yellin' woke us up." agreed InuYasha.

"Some guards you two are! Sleeping on guard duty! I've half a mind to tell Uncle Fritzy on ya! Hi there, Romy. Janey said that a night in the cooler won't hurt you and she'll let you out as soon as we land tomorrow. OK, Sleeping Beauties, deactivate the barriers, please. Now, not next Tuesday! Hurry up!" snapped Alice who was now an Ensign.

The lights vanished and the tall blonde uncovered my feast. There was plenty and to spare as well as lots of java and a small replicating unit as well. I thanked her and began eating.

"I can just hear my Jonathan when he finds out that I got busted! It's usually me bailing him out of stir!" I giggled.

"C'mon Blondie! She's got her grub. Get outta there so we can put the lights back on already." said the big hanyou kid.

"See you tomorrow, dear. Maybe we can do some shopping at the Higurashi Mall. I have a lot of UniCreds to spend for the holidays. See ya soon. 'Night." said Alice with a smile. She gave me a quick peck on my cheek and withdrew. There was another swishy sound and the light show was back again.

"Pleasant dreams, Contessa." yawned Wolfie.

"Likewise, kiddo. I got dream to finish havin', Romy." said Dog Boy.

The 'Officer of the Night Watch' was Sub-Commandant Fritz von Dekker, a jolly old guy whom we called Uncle Fritzy. He dropped by around 2130 (9:30 PM) to see that I was comfy and did not need anything else before his watch ended at midnight.

I'd been told that he was a direct descendant of the famed Terran WW I flying ace Manfred von Richthofen, the infamous and feared 'Red Baron'. In his ancestour's honour and owing to his half Gaelic parentage, he had long ago been dubbed the 'Green Baron'. Unlike his famous ancestour, Fritz was a space pirate, a brigand, a bounty hunter and, so rumours had it, a killer for hire to be had for a stiff price! Not this jolly looking guy? Surely I had been misinformed?

Well he was first officer (second in command) to Emma 'Queen' Emeraldas, Captain Jonny Harlock's fearless niece on her own space pirate vessel, the 'Emerald Queen'. Space pirates had been known to use their 'power swords' without regard for life of human or alien and Fritzy was a space pirate, wasn't he? I banished all such thoughts from my mind and repped up a televid screen.

Then I settled down for some old Terran horror vidfilms and I fell asleep during an ancient monster vs monster vidfilm which had been made on ancient Terra in the 20th Century. I must have slept quite soundly because I didn't even hear the cleaning 'droids when they made their rounds in the wee hours.

"Yo! Wake up, girl! Ya been sprung! Just leave all that repped up junk for the next poor slob we gotta stick in there. PJs? Ya gotta be kiddin'! Hurry up and get dressed!" InuYasha seemed very impatient today!

My wristchromo said 0700 hours, 7 AM. We weren't due to dock until noon so why was the big bad hanyou in such a hurry?

"OK! OK! Chillout, Dog Boy! We won't be home for five more hours ya know!" I yelled, repping up a dressing screen for myself. I wasn't about to give out any 'free peeks' like our Hellcat firebrand Boss Lady did that time she and Donovan were stranded on an island with my hubby!

"Huh? We've already docked, Dumbass! Gene and Han got us home early for a change! Hey! Deactivate her barriers, ya mangy wolf! You about ready, Caldy? The Hell with it! There's a meeting in the bar at 0800 but ya gotta report to Huntley first, lieutenant. Bye." said InuYasha, stomping off.

"You made a mistake, Dog Boy. I'm a Suba. Remember?" I called after him. Then I jogged down the hallway after him.

"No, I didn't, Romy. Ya can't go around stealing TARDISes and get away with it, ya know?" he called back to me.

"You're kidding, right?" I replied.

"Sorry, Romana. He ain't joshin' ya none. The Commander got so steamed that she reported the theft to Garner! He demoted you to a first looey, kiddo. Ya know the 3WA though so I'll bet ya get back those 'golden orbs' (A ranking for a subaltern were three golden balls like those above ancient Terran pawn shops) before Christmas! Better not keep Janelle waitin' or I might outrank ya before ya get off the ship!" explained Kouga the wolf youkai demon.

I was thunderstruck! After all, I was just using logic to escape confinement! I only took the damned thing down two levels and I didn't leave the 'Dae', did I? Hell! Rank meant diddly squat on this tub anyway! Then I remembered that the Commander had been pressed into service as a nurse and I quickened my pace!

"Where is she? Her quarters?" I asked.

"Ready room behind the bridge on Deck 4, Sweetie." said InuYasha.

I timidly pulled the klaxon outside of Milady Huntley's 'office' and the portals slid aside.

"Get in here, Caldy! How dare you get me that upset worrying about you! I thought that 'Maggie' had been hijacked and that you were Khan's hostage! That's why I called Garner! Sorry but he has demoted you to a first lieutenant for now. Hand over the golden orbs. Here are your silver/grey bars.

"Why didn't you simply contact me or Angel Smith? Either of us could have rescinded Brackett's orders. And the Hatter's as well. Briefing for all hands at 0800 in the rec room. Be there. Casual dress as usual, Romy. Anything else?" said the Commander.

I exchanged my orbs for my new bars and attached them to my epaulettes. I had 'morphed' out of my 'civvies' and into uniform on the way up in the lift. I thought for a moment.

"Where will Jon and I be billetted when we reach the Academy, mum?" I asked and she frowned.

"You will be staying with me at Brigadier Angel's (Marlene Angel was an original member of the Angelic 'Insane 4' and later 'Unholy 6' teams and now commanded her own K-Class patrol flagship the 'LA5' and was on assignment in 'Melba VII' I knew) flat in the city.

"Your husband, however, will be briefed on his own new top secret mission and before you ask, I couldn't tell you anything more than that even if I knew the details, which I don't. His mission begins right after the holidays and you two will celebrate them together I assure you." explained my Boss.

"Will he be at our 0800 briefing, Janey?" I asked hopefully. She shook her head sadly.

"Nope. He's already transported back to the 'Coriander' but you might see him at Mr Galadriel's briefing in the Academy. Better hurry if you want breakfast before the briefing, girl. I do apologize, my dear and I did try and get Garner to let you off light. However, he's decided that discipline has been afr too lax on this mission. Here. (She handed me back my suba orbs) I'm almost certain that you'll be needing these before the holidays are over.

"You're a damned fine pilot and we need fliers like you in the corps. Sorry, 3WA. Joe Friday, Bill Gannon, Doc Watson and Zorro were swapping war stories at the bar last night and Joe was a US Marine Corps drill sergeant. Wait. I think I'll come and have some breakfast too. 0730. Yup. We'll have time for some French toast, sausages and java I think. Let's go." replied Janey and off we went to the dining room.

"Ten-hut! Commander's in the room!" snapped Vash the Stampede and Janey waved everyone back to their seats.

"As you were. Waitress? French toast, sausage links and java for two, please." said janey, giving our order to Sakura Haruna, the pink-headed Ninja warrior maiden. She tapped out the order on her vidpad and jetted off on her rocket sneakers.

Breakfast was peaceful for once. The 'pig squads' of demons and Saiyaans always ate at 'First Breakfast' and this was 'Third'. We ate as quickly as possible and then we all adjourned to the rec room for the big pow-wow session which was being broadcast over the PA system for the guards and bridge crew. We were vid-linked to both the 'Coriander' and the 'LA2' under the command of Brigadier Prydonia or was she a Marshall now? Hard to keep rankings straight in the 3WA.

The briefing took forever but basically we were ordered to behave ourselves while we were enjoying the holidays at the Academy and while we were visiting Furool (Foo-Lon) City, or else! Not a word was said about future missions and a look from Janey warned me to keep my big trap shut about Jon's mission.

Everyone's comm badge was scanned before we were permitted to transport off the ships! Why? Orders from 'God' himself (Mr Galadriel) had been Milady Huntley's reply when I asked her. I found out the reason later but that's another story!

Janey and Jon Smith were kept busy with red tape and stuff at the spaceport and then they went over to HQ.

Leia Solo handed me a set of code keys and a vidscrip with code words on it. My luggage and Janey's was being loaded aboard a 'holocab' and Leia was popping the hatch for me and motioning for me to get abord the cab!

"Janelle will be tied up at HQ for hours. She asked me to send you home. Here's the address and I have already programmed the pilot 'droid. Don't expect too much because Mar Angel lives a pretty spartan existence and her flat's pretty damned small. However, there's only four of you so you shouldn't be too cramped. See you at the big meeting at the Academy tomorrow morning. Ten hundred hours sharp. Bye. Lift off, Pilot." said Leia and I was as confused as Hell!

The 'holocab' lifted off smoothly and we jetted along at a safe and serene and boring SubWarp 3 for a long time. It took us at least seven whole minutes! Then the 'droid pilot set down on the roof of a huge building. I could see a spaceport to the West which I assumed was where the Academy was situated.

The pilot confirmed this but then told me that 'Takarada on the Green' was quite a few kilometres from 3WA HQ which was East of us. He pointed a metal talon 'finger' at a massive futuristic structure in the distance and told me that was the 3WA. Then he busied himself with 'transporting' the luggage from his cab to the flat.

"Missy Romana go down one flight and turn to right. Flat 1357-A. Penthouse suite, Missy. Fare already paid, Missy. Thank you , Missy Romana. Have pleasant stay at nuthouse. Bye." he/it said when I tapped a few extra UniCreds on the bill for his 'tip'.

"Wait! How tall is this building, sir?" I called.

"Pretty short, Missy. Only 1400 floors. You on top two. Meri Kurisumasu, Missy." he said and then he was gone.

I picked up my purse and briefcase which I never entrusted to transporters without me along for the ride. Then I opened the top portal and descended a short stairway and turned right as instructed. Didn't really matter because '1357-A' was the only door on the entire floor!

Top two floors the 'droid had said. That meant I was on both 1399 and 1400! I suddenly felt quite giddy. Before I could use the code keys, the portal flashed open!

"Hiya Time Lady! 'Member me? Periwinkle Brown? Peri? Hatter's compadre? C'mon in. Jan vidphoned us that she'd be real late tonight so we should scrounge up din din. Ace! You got 'you know who' locked in his basket? Ya do? OK. C'mon in, Romy. Heard ya got busted to first looey. Bummer! Ace! Ya know what Hatter and Leprechaun told ya about playing with boom booms in Marlene's pad!

"You look starved and I know I am. Make yerself to home. Ace! It safe to open the fridge yet?" yelled Peri who was wearing a very daring red swimsuit like they wore on ancient Terra when 'Old Scarfy' and I had visited there.

"Yeah. I deactivated the booby traps, Beach Girl. Hi, we ain't never met yet. I'm Ace. I tool around with old 'Irish Umbrella' ya know? (I assumed she meant #7 Doctor the Leprechaun) Want some joe? I made it really strong because I had a hangover from yesterday. Whassa matter, Time Lady?" said a short, pert raven-haired teenaged human girl who was no more than 15 at most.

I had done a double take when she'd strolled into the sitting room because she was wearing a black leather biker's jacket like they wore in those old ancient Terran vidfilms. She was wearing the open jacket over- nothing!

"For Christ's sake, Acey! Put on a shirt and pants at least! We got company! (Ace stomped off to the first of four bedrooms. Hers was overflowing with junk as was the second) Acey's got the far bedroom and I'm next to her. You and Jan's got the other two. Take either one but I suggest ya take the one at the end there. Yer luggage and Jan's landed in the dining room and back hallway. There's two floors to the place but downstairs is crammed to the rafters with Mar's crap. Have some java." said Peri, pulling on slacks and a polo shirt and slipping on sandals.

"Whydo you say take that room, Peri?" I asked suspiciously. I hated practical jokes.

"Because the other room's where we keep 'Kashi', the Boss's pet. Ya might not like him very much." replied Peri Brown.

"Why might I dislike 'Kashi'?" I asked and Ace reappeared wearing the rest of her biker's togs.

"On accounta what he is, Romy. Just a sec." said Ace Johnston, disappearing into the end room. She reappeared carrying a locked bamboo-like basket. She was shaking the basket and looked puzzled.

"Empty. Wonder where he got to, Peri?" asked Ace and Peri looked upset.

"How the Hell'd he get out, Acey? Ya forget to lock the basket again dammit?" she yelled and Ace pointed to the lock.

"Dunno. I lost the code key last week. 'Member?" replied Ace. Peri was peering under the sofa and chairs.

"Romy? Start lookin for him. 'Kashi's a grey python, a damned long one too!" cried Peri, tumbling a pile of vidmags off the java table. Ace joined the hunt and began digging through the junk in the bedrooms.

"A snake! I hate them! Ever since what Tegan told me about that Mara she tangled with and all! Did you say grey? Is this the little darling?" I asked, quickly dropping my voice to a whisper and pointing to a coiled grey 'rope' perched atop a lamp.

"Great! That's him, Romy. Now how do we get him back into his damned basket?" whispered Peri.

"Leave that to me. Be right back, guys." said Ace, walking out the door and clomping up to the roof. We heard a slight popping sound and then she clomped back down the steps and back to the flat's sitting room. The basket no longer had a lock and the area where it had been was blackened.

"Nitroxylite. New stuff. More concentated. A lil dab'll do ya. Come to Mama, baby. There ya go. Safe and sound again. Gimme yer sash belt, Peri. Thanks. Wrap it around and around the basket and there we go. Which room ya usin', Time Girl?" asked Ace.

"I'd rather sleep on the couch. Oh, OK. I'll take the one next to Peri. Still gives me the willies sleeping mext door to that serpent. If ya like him so much, Acey, why don't ya keep him in your room, dammit?" I replied.

"No room, kiddo. Hope Julie Huntley likes him. Tomoh Jordan's on 'Krydel IV' until after the holidays and nobody else will take him in. Wish Boss O'Halloran wasn't stayin' at the Academy. We'll worry about movin' him when the time comes. I'm starved! What's fer lunch?" said Ace.

"Takeout?" suggested Peri.

"Any good pizza joints around here?" I asked.

"Harold Lloyd should know." said Ace.

"Our parking dock attendant downstairs. We call him Harold Lloyd because he looks like the ancient Terran silent films star with his owlish spectacles and crinkly hair. I'll vidphone him." said Peri, picking up a star cruiser on the table. She rapidly punched in vidcodes and chatted briefly before she hung up and smiled.

"Harold's sister just opened a new place over near the museums we aren't allowed to visit anymore. He's having her send us over a half dozen with all the trimmings and she won't charge us a 'senny' if we place a link to her place on our 3WA website! Wanna get changed, Romana? Acey! If you wanna go shopping with me, you are not wearing that monstrosity! Wanna go Kuru shopping this afternoon, Romy? We're going to the Higurashi Mall. It looks so much better since they remodeled the place after that disaster back in the 40's (AD 2240's of course) when the Boss and Mar were there. Coming?" said Peri.

I begged off the shopping trip with a headache and Acey had a skycycle date with the 'Viking' bikers from Asgard. A few minutes later lunch 'materialized' on our dining room table! Acey grabbed two pizzas, some shakes and fries and left on her 'date'.

Peri and I fell to and ate with gusto. Everything was just swell and I overate! Then I found out that down here eating too much had its consequences! 'Artok' was our local 3WA computer programming unit and he was quick to warn me about overeating on the surface of a world!

"Pardon my affrontery, Mistress Caldy but your body weight has just gone up by several kilograms. I suggest a 'Netrical' shake for dinner. Oh and 'Stacy's is having an online sale now until Kurisumasu Ibu (Christmas Eve). Enjoy your afternoon, Mistresses." said the voice from the aether and we both giggled like schoolgirls on holiday.

Peri left after lunch when Neko Olson showed up in a borrowed aircar with Fllay Allster, Cagalli Yula Athna, Rio DelCroix and a few others of the 'shop-a-holic' club! Peri had pointed out a very high rounded building with a sloping roof on the other side of town. She told me that was the mall.

Back on Gallifrey, the Citadel was the highest building on the planet at 8 stories save for Rassy's Tower which was ten! I hadn't seen a single building shorter than 50 stories since we had landed here! I took a nice long relaxing bath after the brood had left. I was just deciding on a nice dinner when the klaxon brayed!

"Who is it?" I called and then I remembered that this flat was soundproofed! I struggled into a dressing gown and went to the portal in a foul mood! I hit the release panel and the portal slid open.

"What the %%****/((## is so all fired important that ya had to interrupt my damned bath?" I snapped angrily.

"Poppet! Language, my child! I came to inform you that Major Janny will not be joining you for dinner tonight. She's staying overnight at at 3WA HQ. She apologizes and hopes you will understand. She'll see you at the debriefing tomorrow. Bring 'Boom Boom' and my 'Beach Bunny' with you when you come. There's an aircar for your use on the roof. Would you like a spot of tea, my dear?" said the 'Hatter' Doctor and I invited him inside. Then I asked him to pardon me while I dressed.

When I returned in a smart yellow suit with a grey turtleneck and black Oxfords, he was being 'Mother' and pouring tea for us. There were petit-fours, cucumber sandwiches, cakes, pies, doughnuts and Danishes as well and I realized I hadn't eaten since lunch. He told me that on ancient Terra in Britain, tea was served from 1600 to 1800 hours with dinner at 2000 hours (4-6 PM, 8 PM) and he saw no reason not to continue the tradition, especially since he was always dressed for the part!

"How long will this debriefing session last tomorrow? I would like to visit the town and the museums. I don't care for shopping malls myself. How do you like my new suit, Doctor? Faye Valentine repped it up for me and it was the first thing on top of the stuff in the first case I opened." I asked.

"You look stunning, Poppet. Not to worry. Mr Galadriel and Mr Garner assured 'Old Scarfy' (#4 Doctor) that it would be over long before luncheon time. More tea?" he replied but I declined. We chatted some more while he warned me about Ace Johnston's 'noisemakers' and 'nitrocyline' blocks which had to be kept in the fridge. Then he pulled out his big silver Hunter pocket watch which was the size of a small turnip.

"Goodness gracious, Poppet! How time does fly! I simply must dash. I have a chess match to attend and it's clear across town! 'Old Fussbudget' (#3 Doctor) finally agreed to allow me the use of his 'Betsy' motorcar while he was away on condition that I have it polished and keep the petrol tank filled. See you tomorrow then? (I nodded and we shook hands. He gave me a peck on the cheek which caused me to blush a little) The chap downstairs has a sister who just opened her own-" he said.

"Pizza palace? I know. That's where we are ordering tonight's dinner delivery from, Doctor. Take care and say hi to Tegan and Nyssa for us. Good afternoon." I said and he took his leave after kissing my hand which again made me red-faced.

My yellow suit and Oxfords were OK for teatime but they were as uncomfortable as the Dickens! Too hot! I was dozing on the sofa in my skivvies when the klaxon sounded at 1700 (5 PM). I admitted a fashion model who was followed by a poor fellow wearing owlish spectacles whose hair did not seem to have ever seen comb or brush!

Then I realized my state of undress for gentleman callers dashed into my bedroom! I tossed on a sweatshirt, jeans and sneakers and returned to allow Peri to show off everything she had bought. Her UniCreds limit must be really low! I insisted that 'Harold' have some java and a doughnut before he returned to his parking dock duties. My face was still a bit flushed from the near 'free peek' I had almost allowed!

Not so our 'Beach Bunny' girl! Peri insisted on trying on several outfits right in the sitting room, 'Harold's presence notwithstanding! Had this child no shame? Then I recalled Acey's 'jacket only' attire greeting and I was grateful that Milady Brown was at least wearing undies! I excused myself and vidded in our dinner order for tonight. 'Harold's sister assured me that she would deliver the meal personally before 1800 hours. I hung up and sat down to watch vidTV.

The monster was eating someplace called the 'New Jersey Shore' when Barbara arrived with the goodies. She trundled in an 'anti-grav trolley' which was laden with all kinds of food and beverages. She quickly unloaded her trolley onto the dining room table and I signed her vidchit adding a generous tip for the speedy service and I promised 'Barbie Doll' that I'd be sure and post a link to her new pizza place on the 3WA website. She smiled and pocketed the vidchit gadget and she trundled her trolley back to the lift. I must remember to do something nice for Barbie's brother. I had to admit that he did look a lot like that ancient Terran silent films star from the early 20th Century.

Ace never showed for dinner. In fact, we never saw her that night at all. I hoped that she'd remember the debriefing at ten hundred tomorrow morning. We retired about 2300 (11 PM) and, despite 'it' in the basket next door, I slept soundly.

At 0900 the next morning, I stretched and I was grateful for a good night's sleep. I decided to wear my uniform so I 'demoted' myself back tto a first looey by removing my suba 'golden orbs' and replacing them with my new 'silver/grey bars'. I laid out jacket, shirt, tie, socks, boots and fresh undies. Then I showered, toweled off and dressed. I buckled on my gunsash and Mark XIII ion cannon and squared my saucer cap atop my blue curls. I admired my image in the mirror and suddenly I wasn't so steamed about my demotion as I had been yesterday.

"Good morning, troop!" I shouted when I walked into the kitchenette where two very hungover gals were nursing headaches! Peri was wearing gym shorts and a halter while well, modesty forbids me to mention Acey's attire! OK! Ace Johnston was sitting there the same way she had entered Terra!

"You two ought to be ashamed of yourselves! Drunk! You do know we have a debriefing session in less than an hour, do you not?" I admonished my roomies.

"Drop dead!" snarled Ace without lifting her head from the countertop.

"Ooh! My poor head! What the Hell was that junk we drank last night? I feel awful!" whimpered Peri, glancing at the wall chromo.

"Nine thirty? Already? That does it. Tell Mr Garner we're sick today and we can't make it, Romy." suggested Peri.

"Yeah, tell the old geezer we're playin' hooky today. Wake me for lunchies." said Acey.

"Oh? Is that so!" snapped an angry voice from the vidphone.

"Huh? Who said that?" asked Peri, trying to stand up and slumping into my arms.

"The old geezer! Gee! Sorry, Mr Garner! It's just that-" I stammered when I saw Uncle Charlie's image on our vidscreen.

"Ye gods! Is it too much to ask that you ladies at least dress before you answer the vidphone, dammit?" yelled Mr Garner, chomping down hard on his cigar. I always felt sorry for the guy. The poor soul lived on Galusol (Like Pepto), Hydroxylein (Like aspirin), booze and stogies. He hardly ever smoked cheroots, he preferred those horrid cigars like the ones Uncle Hiram adored.

"Somebody shut up old ferret face. I'm goin' back to bed. 'Night." moaned Acey who could care less who was seeing her in the buff!

"OK. I guess that Suba Caldy can take notes and tell you two what went on at the debriefing. However, I want to see the pair of you in my office at HQ tomorrow morning at 0700 hours, sharp! You will both be in uniform. Is that understood? I'll overlook this insubordination this time. What the devil did you two drink last night, Warrant Three Brown? Romulan ale?" asked Mr Garner and I shrugged my shoulders.

"Beats me, sir. Oh, did not Major Huntley tell you that I had been demoted? I'm a first lieutenant again, sir." I corrected.

"The bottle said 'El something', sir. Ooh! You'll have to excuse me, sir! I gotta go to the bathroom!" cried Peri, dashing for the bathroom.

"Huh? 'El Presidente'? I told Marlene to pour that crap down the drain, dammit! Brown's got 'Montezuma's Revenge', the 'runs', diarrhea, Time Girl! Betcha Johnston didn't drink any of that slop. She's just got a hangover. Make sure they both get a 'Prairie Oyster' or two, Suba. Oh and Huntley's here. She pleaded with me half the night before I finally agreed to restore your ranking so you're a subaltern again, Romana. Get those 'orbs' back on those epaulettes pronto! Didn't Huntley tell you that this morning's session is casual attire?" said the Territorial Sector Chief.

I was already yanking off the bars and affixing the orbs per instructions.

"Thank you, sir and I felt that a debriefing after a mission- I think we officers should set an example for the rest of our crews, sir. Thanks for going easy on Peri and Acey, sir." I replied with a grin. He was shaking his head and frowning.

"I said they need not attend this AM's session, Romy. I did NOT say that I was 'letting them off easy' and they will find that out tomorrow morning, Subaltern Caldy. A quarter before the hour, kiddo. Better shake a leg. It would not set a very good example to have a key officer show up late, would it? Garner out." he chuckled and his image vanished. I placed the vidphone back in its cradle and whipped up the required hangover remedies. I dashed off a quick note and left six Oysters on the countertop. Then I snatched up purse and briefcase and left the flat. I carefully code key locked the portals and double-timed it to the roof where I boarded the green aircar waiting for me.

Keeping the strange looking flat iron roofed building in sight, I quickly jetted over to the Academy and parked outside the big building beside the 'pyramid' and fountain. The lance corporal guard whose name tag read 'Gladiolus, G' took a long time examining my ID vidcard and frowning. Then she asked me to hand over my 'cannon' which I did.

She removed the 'power pack' (Like ammunition for a firearm), wrote 'Caldy, R M' on a sticky tag and affixed it to the pack before locking it in a wall 'cubby'. She smiled and handed back my cannon which I reholstered.

"Any other weapons, Suba?" she asked and I fished out my laser sword hilt. I raised my sleeve and showed her my 'Panther' derringer. I rolled up my other sleeve and showed her the stiletto. She shook her head sadly.

"Afraid you'll have to leave all of them with me, mum. No, you keep your sidearm. Sorry but it's new protocol SOP, mum." apologized Lance Corporal Gladiolus. I quickly complied and she locked all of my goodies up in the 'cubby' and handed me a receipt for them.

"Take the very last lift car to the fifth level. Turn right and you'll see the auditorium. Show your ID to the guard up there and they'll let you in. Better hurry. Meeting starts in a few minutes, mum." she said.

"Corporal? Gladiolus, G. What's the 'G' stand for?" I asked. Did I mention that I'm incurably curious?

"Huh? Geraldine, mum or Gerry for short but my friends call me Gladdy, mum." she answered. I stuck out a gloved hand.

"Mine call me Romy. Nice to make your acquaintance, Gladdy." I replied and we shook hands before I dashed for the lift. I flashed my ID to the door guard and I took my seat just as the chromo bonged ten! I sat between Janey and Donovan. The latter raised her eyebrows. Then I noticed that, with few exceptions, I was the only one in uniform. Later I found that I'd been the only officer in uniform there!

"Where are Johnston and Brown, Romy?" whispered Janey Huntley. I made a glug glug motion and she frowned. I opened my briefcase and pulled out my PDO unit, all set to take notes for my roomies. Yuri Donovan reached across and tapped a few keys on my PDO and said 'Record All' softly and the unit began to whir quietly.

"Didn't anyone ever tell you a PDO records too, Romana? Well, it does. Now sit back, relax and pay attention." she whispered. I nodded and Mr Popo called us to order in his usual manner 'Siddown and shut the Hell up!' The room went very quiet and Mr Garner introduced Mr Galadriel who thanked us for all of our hard work. Then he handed over the podium to Mr Gustav.

"Unh unh. Last time Uncle Willy started yakking, we got sent to Gysymeo to find Johnny Berringer and his pals. If he says we gotta go there again right after Kurisumasu, I'm taking my vacation, guys! I almost got varasa pneumonium the last time! I ain't goin' through that crap again even if God himself got down on his hands and knees and begged me!" whispered Marlene who was leaning across Miss Donovan.

"Pay attention, Brig Angel!" growled the Boss whom I thought had been napping! She was sitting right behind me!

"Now that I have your undivided attention, you may rest assured that 'Project Vickie' (Both Seras Victoria and Allison Prydonia spilled their java all over poor Uncle Hiram!) will not begin until 5 JanFeb of the new year. The flagship will be the 'LA5' under the command of Marshall (jg) Prydonia. (Allie fell on the floor) She will be choosing her own crew for the mission so if you want to be well away from any action, do yourselves a favour and volunteer for flagship duty.

"Three 'star cruisers' will be actually making planetfall on 'Victorine' and are being used to transport the first three teams of colonists which have yet to be chosen. Eventually all of our displaced persons will be moved from 'Shim' to 'Vickie' and will begin their new lives there.

"It's gonna be tough I know but with perseverance and determination, the colonization will be accomplished and there will be a permanent settlement there before the end of AD 2261. Marshall Prydonia will be permanently headquartered on 'Zarbon', a small moon several 'lightys' (light years) from 'Victorine', about the same distance as 'Shim' is from Mars and 'Kagura'.

"This relocation is necessary because she will be your Ambassador to the Federation. She will also retain her authority within the 3WA where she is still the Gallifreyan liaison officer for the Federation and the 3WA. Her adjutant will be Major Romana Mandlinkova Caldy whose husband, Subaltern Jonathan Caldy will be 'Victorine's chief of security. (Now it was my turn to fall off my seat and I would have if the Boss had not yanked me upright by my collar!)

"The three cruisers will be the 'Daedalus' under the command of Lt Colonel Huntley (Janey said 'Goll-ee!' softly), the 'Grazer Twelve' under the command of Colonel Bluesummers (The big ham stood and took a bow!) and the 'Ventigan' under the command of Lt Colonel Seras Victoria (Poor Vicky had dozed off, her head resting on Lord Alucard's shoulder).

"Each cruiser will be ferrying a colonizing team of six to be determined by lot. Your mission is to get the colonists to 'Victorine' and help them to establish their settlement. Captain Brief's father has graciously donated a shipload of 'building capsules' which will be delivered a week before the mission commences.

"In case you are not familiar with 'capsule construction', it is quite simple. One merely tosses or drops a 'capsule' on the surface or wherever he or she chooses to build and instantly a building will be there. No. I have no idea how it works either and Dr Brief told me that method must remain his secret and we respect his wishes.

"The cruisers will remain until mid JanFeb at which time it will be determined if their presence is still necessary. The flagship crew will be establishing a similar albeit much smaller settlement on 'Zarbon' and that party will be remaining behind as the Marshall's cadre and staff along with the 'LA5' flagship.

"As I said before, we will be choosing the colonist teams by lot. However, if you wish to volunteer to be an early colonist, please tell Warrant Officer Three LaCroix (Rio), First Lt Higurashi (Kagome) or Captain Sawaguchi (Kome) as soon as possible. Well, that's all I have for you folks. Thanks for your attention. Mr Garner?" said Chief Gustav and Uncle Chuckie took the podium.

"Allow me to add my own gratitude to you guys and ladies for all that you have accomplished for us. As of now, everyone is on leave until the new year. However, please confine offworld visits to Mars or Kagura or our own moons. We need you in comm range in case we need to escalate this mission. OK, we won't keep you shoppers away from the malls any longer. (Mr Galdriel and Mr Gooley had quietly departed) Mr Popo, please dismiss the troops. Happy holidays everyone." said our Territorial Sector Chief, saluting us.

We all stood and returned his salute, well, most of us did anyhow. Mr Popo walked to the podium and beamed at us.

"You folks have my thanks as well. Well done. Ten-Hutt! Everyone, if you please, Boss? Captain Morton? You will all be reporting back to this room on 3 JanFeb AD 2260. Have a nice holiday season and don't do anything I wouldn't do, guys. Dismis- Wait for it, Sawaguchi! Dismissed!" said Mr Popo and the place became Bedlam with everyone shoving aside chairs and pushing up drinks stands on seat abcks and making a mad dash for all four portals! Miss Donovan held us in our seats.

"Let's let the crowd thin out a little first, guys. Romy? Can I beg a ride home with you? The Boss drove and she's not going anywhere except to the closest tavern. Please?" asked the Vice-Marshall who was one of the few here who had opted to come in uniform.

"Let's see. Myself, Janey, you, Rio, Caggie, Fflaysie. Yup! I can squeeze you in, mum. I suppose I'll be dropping you all off at the mall?" I asked.

"Not me, Romy. I just want a hot bath and then I want to curl up with a mug of cocoa latte and a good vidnovel in my own bed!" replied Janey, gathering up her belongings. I switched off my PDO unit and stowed it away in my briefcase. Then I picked up my purse.

"OK. Don't forget to reclaim your weapons and power packs from Gladdy downstairs. My aircar's the green one by that giant pyramid. Be there as soon as I can, kids." I called to the departing backs of Rio, Fflay and Cagalli. Janey and I tidied up around our seats and tossed the trash down in the collection area where the recycler 'droids would police it up for us. Everyone else simply left their junk wherever they chose. Pigasauruses the lot of 'em!

"Romana Caldy, right? I'll get your things, mum. Romy? I need your vidreceipt. Yours as well, um, Colonel." said Gerri Gladiolus, the lance corporal guard on the main entryway portals. She didn't seem overly impressed that Janey and I had both been spot promoted. Guess she knew more than me having been in the 3WA a lot longer than myself. The three silver 'hash marks' on her sleeve meant several tours of duty. Janey dumped her weapons and power packs into her carry-all sack while I stowed away mine in my briefcase after I'd reloaded my cannon and reholstered it. Janey looked thoughtful.

"Ever think of transferring, Gladdy? Say to a star cruiser as a yeoman? I'd have to start you out as a subby, of course. However, in a few weeks, you'd make ensign (jg) one. If you're interested, give me a trill. OK?" said Janey, flipping the astonished girl one of her viddycards, sort of like ancient Terran business cards. It had Janey's private vidcellphone on it which was unlisted as was mine.

"Well? I will be needing a new yeoman, right? You've been reassigned to 'Zarbon' as Allie's adjutant. Remember?" giggled Janey and I grinned.

"Gladdy would make a fine yeoman if she viddies ya that is, kiddo." I replied with a smirk.

"If she doesn't contact me by this evening, I'll simply have her reassigned to the 'Daedalus'. She's being wasted at the Academy! I can see that kid someday commanding a vessel like mine. Ooh! A bagel! Wonder where that sergeant got his? Hey! Sarge! (Janey ran to catch up with a burly non-com guy who seemed to be a battalion sergeant first class by his stripes) Coolness! Walter said there's a bagel shop on the way back to our place. Really a pizza palace but they have yummy bagels too. Just opened he said. Can we stop at-" pleaded Janey and I grinned.

"Barbie's Place, ya mean? Sure. We had pizza from there last night. She's Harold's sister, our parking dock guy. If her bagels are as delish as her pizza, she's got a goldmine, man! (A klaxon brashly sounded followed by 'Hurry up before we miss all the good stuff, man!' being shouted to high heaven) Let's motor, Janey." I said and we dashed down the steps. I opened the hatch and Rio shoved Fflaysie over to make room for Janey. Both Miss Donovan and Cagalli Yula Athna had commandeered the front seats with the former at the controls!

"Mind if I pilot?" she asked and there was a chorus of 'Yes!' from the back seat so she skooched over and I climbed behind the throttles. I snapped the top shut and activated the heating unit as there was a sudden chill in the aether.

"We are not leaving until everyone has strapped themselves in. Does anyone need to use the facilities, the rest room? No? OK, here we go." I said and I lifted the car straight up until 'Jimmy', the onboard computer announced that we were hovering a quarter of a kilometre up. Then I hit the speed bar and we jetted off towards the mall.

"No, Romy. You cannot put down on the atrium roof. It's too steep of a grade. Just park near the front entrance and we'll use our rocket boots. All hands have their PDOs, UniCred folders, IDs? Good. Now remember that I'm Auntie Gracie and I'm visiting from Kagura. Why? Because both me and the Boss are banned from this place, that's why. Get out, Fflay. Take Rio's hand. Caggie, take Rio's other hand. Now follow me and stay together. We'll flag down a holocab or autotaxi to get home, guys. See you around sixish or so. Bye." said Yuri Donovan who was wearing huge sungoggles and had morphed into a smartly tailored suit and miniskirt. The girls had likewise changed into 'civvies' and were following 'Auntie' into the huge Higurashi Mall.

"Want to pick up dinner here, Janey?" I asked but she shook her head.

"With that quartet in there? No way in Dante's nine levels of jigoku, Honey! We'll pick up something at 'Burger Duke' after we get my bagels. Fly on, MacDuff and damned be he that first cries-" she began reciting from that ancient Terran 'Bard' guy and I lifted off while she was still strapping in.

"Hey 'Jimmy'? Directions to 'Barbie's Place'?" I asked.

"Two hundred metres up Kalowan then right onto Julius Verno Boulevard. Take the third turning to the right which is Arno Alley and 'Barbie's will be on the left, Mistress Romana." answered the onboard navigator programming unit.

"Right! Ya gotta turn right here, Romy! Don't fly past it, dammit! That's it. There's the place on the left. Damn! Parking docks are full! Thought she just opened? Land on the roof!" yelled Janey.

"I can't, Dumbass! There's no entrance from the roof and no fire gantryway stairs either. I'll fly around back." I yelled.

The back was packed! I popped the hatch and told Janey to jump out.

"I can't put down here. I'll hover while you run in and get your bagels. Hurry up because we still gotta pick up dinner at the Duke's. Unh unh. See that sign? No hovering before 1800 hours. Get a move on before a 'KP Patrol' unit comes by!" I said and she jetted off on her rocket boots.

I was just debating running around front when Janey tossed in several parcels and jumped in. She strapped in and off we went. I parked on the roof at 'Burger Duke' while she got the goodies and 'trilled' me on her comm badge to meet her out front.

"Got everything? There's a 'synthenol' store. Lets's get some instead of wine and booze. There's a slot! Get some of the cherry kind. Acey drinks anything and Peri likes bubbles. I'll wait here." said Janey as I slid to a stop.

"Why don't you get it?" I asked suspiciously because I was in enough hot water already.

"I'm only 15, Romana. Ya gotta be 17 to buy 'synthenol' and 25 to buy the real stuff. It's the law here! No exceptions. Not even for tro-cons like me!" explained Janey. I fished out my vidID and UniCreds folder. I affixed my 'major' oak leaf clusters in green and purple on my epaulettes and strolled into the store.

"How old are you really? You don't look 17, girlie." said the samrtass kid at the checkout counters.

"I'm (I almost said my 'real' age of a time lady but I bit my tongue) 27. Says so right there on my 3WA vid ID, sir." I snapped and the kid's eyes bulged out of their sockets!

"Major! Tro-con? You're a copper? OK! Sorry but you look a lot younger, mum. Take one of our vidcats. Anything else?" he said and I smiled at him.

"Nope. This'll do the Colonel and me fine, sir. Have a nice evening now." I said politely and left.

"Problem?" asked Janey.

"No but I almost told him I was 350 years old! I can just imagine his reaction to that one!" I laughed.

We jetted home and put dinner in the fridge and I put the 'synthenols' on ice to chill. I repped up a pot of java and another of cocoa for Janey. Acey and Peri had left us a note saying they had gone shopping on Kagura with Kome Sawaguchi and Neko Olson. Janey set out the bagels and Danishes (My favourite next to scones) and we had a long snack.

At 1800 hours, OK, 6 PM, the vidphone trilled and Janey answered it. She listened, said unh huh a few times and covered the mouthpiece with her hand.

"Did you buy anything today from the Higurashi Mall, Romy? (I shook my head and asked wy she was asking) Harold just got a call from Harry Potter at Nakasone Towers. He's their parking docks attendant. Harry told Harold that he just signed for an order teleshipped from the mall t Brown and an A A Johnston and they have no tenants by that name staying there." said Janey in a whisper.

"Give it to me." I sighed and crushed out my cheroot. She handed the vidphone to me and went back to her bagel.

"Hi Harold. It's Romana Caldy. Tell Harry to teletransport that junk over here to our place. Peri and Acey must ave given them the Boss's address by mistake. Yeah, no problem. Bye." I said and hung up. Behind us, the room was suddenly full of bags, boxes, parcels and strange looking cartons. Our roomies' junk had arrived.

The chromo was striking 1900 or 7 PM and we were about ready to start dinner without Peri and Acey when the portals crashed open and I hurried to help our roomies with even more bags and boxes, parcels and cartons. Janey came out of her bedroom belting on her kimono which had been a gift sent to her from Mr and Mrs Walker who still had a day or two left for their honeymoon. Walker and Alex had been sending us all gifts for the past day or two, even before we had docked at the Academy!

"What the Hell? More junk from the mall? The first load arrived an hour ago!" screeched an enraged Janey Huntley.

"That's our stuff from the Higgy Mall, Jan. This stuff we bought at the Grendel Mall on Asgard. Acey, go get the rest from the autotaxi thing please." explained Pepigillian Periwinkle Brown. Acey grumbled but trudged back up to the roof.

"Oh Romy, do us a favour and pay off the taxi 'droid, will ya? I'm skinned and so's Acey. Thank you, dear." she said sweetly and I grabbed my purse and went up to the roof. I tapped in the bill amount and added 10 UniCreds for a tip because the poor 'droid looked haggard. Riding with two back seat pilots will do that to anyone, even a machine!

He helped me and Acey to unload the rest of their stuff and then he waved to us and lifted off. Acey's arms were full and the pile of goodies was still there so I picked up some more and followed her downstairs. It took three more trips and our flat looked like we were hosting an indoors garage sale!

There was just enough room for the four of us to squeeze around the dining room table and have our burgers, fries, salads and drinks. Then Janey noticed something atop a pile of bags marked 'Thank ye for shopping at Grendel's Place'.

"What's the rope for, girls? Hey! I swear it moved! That's impossible!" said Janey, pointing at a grey 'rope' coiled around a satchel and Acey leaped across the potato salad, baring clearing the table. One grab and she had 'Kashi' in her mitts.

"Peri! Get that safe we bought at Grenny's! Quick! He's squirming around and trying to split the scene! Hurry up!" yelled Acey and Peri crawled under the table and began fishing around the bags until she had unearthed a small toy safe. She fished a code key from her pocket and unlocked the safe. Acey shoved the struggling serpent inside and slammed the door shut. Then Peri locked it with the key and carried the safe to the pantry.

"Oh no you don't! I hate snakes, dammit! Get that monster outta here and right now! I mean it, Peri!" yelped Janey who had gone as white as a ghost. The poor girl was shivering and shaking like she had the ague! I took the safe and its contents from Peri and went up to the roof where I locked it in the aircar's glove box. There'd be Hell to pay if we let anything happen to the Boss lady's pet, that was for certain sure!

"All locked up in the glove box safe and secure. Now where are we going to store all of this junk until Kurisumasu, ladies?" I asked reasonably.

"Fine where it is." said Acey, finishing the potato salad.

"Can't we just leave it here, guys?" asked Peri. Janey exploded.

"What! You can't swing a roshii neko (dead cat) in here as it is, dammit! Romy! Call down to Harold. Find out if the building's got storage facilities anywhere. This crap is definitely not staying in here! By the way, Ace? I want that pigsty you call a bedroom ready for inspection by tomorrow morning. Oh, that's right. You and Peri will be busy all day tomorrow. OK, I want that room spick and span by the weekend. Yours could use some cleaning too, Peri. Look how neat and clean Romana's is, girls. I suppose I have the end room by the portals? Fine with me. Why are you looking at me like that, Acey?" said Janey.

"What's all this tomorrow crap, Janny?" demanded Acey, shoving aside our brews to accommodate her latest purchases of boom booms in our fridge. Normal people keep food and cold cuts in their fridges. We kept C-4, lambonite, nitroxycine blocks and Kami knew what else in ours!

"Yeah, I have a date with Pancho and Cisco to go to the vidgames arcade tomorrow." said Peri. Janey looked at me and I nodded. I sighed and explained Mr Garner's vidphone message we had received this morning before the debriefing session.

"0700 in the morning! I don't even wake up until 0900! Peri has a date with those two cute cowpokes and I was gonna take a skycycle ride with Angie. She's gonna show me her home town and stuff. Tell Garner to just buzz off, man!" snarled Acey and Peri agreed with her chum.

"Tell me to just buzz off, huh? In that case, I want you two idiots in my office by 0600 tomorrow instead and you will be in uniform, Subbies! Be sure that you bring the 'Daedalus' vidlogs and vidreports for this last mission with you! Romana, Janelle? You two have the day off. The hot springs at 'Alexis Point' are lovely in winter and it's only an hour by aircar. Relax and unwind after that long voyage, ladies. Oh and do something about that mess of junk in the flat before Marlene Angel sees it! (I opened my mouth to speak) This is Wednesday and she's due back from 'Lydovitz' on Friday. She prides herself on neatness. Oh my! That means that either she'll have to use the lower level of the flat or one of you four will need to move out, kiddies. That'll be up to Mar, not me. Garner out." said our esteemed leader and I blanked the vidscreen.

I handed Peri the vidphone and Acey my vidcellphone.

"Better cancel your dates, Subbies. It's your own faults. When the Chief lets you out of a debriefing because you're sick, you are not supposed to go shopping and clutter up the flat with junk. How about it, Janey? A trip to the Point sounds like fun. If you're game, that is?" I said and she grinned.

"I have already booked us for the best private spring they have, Romy. Better get packed or have you even unpacked yet?" laughed Janey and it was my turn to grin. I hadn't unpacked a thing. As we would be leaving at 0400 in the morning, I asked 'Artok' for an 0330 wake up call. We admonished Acey and Peri and warned the newly demoted subbies what would happen if they were one nano-second late tomorrow. Janey excused herself to unpack what she didn't need while I opted to just take my overnight bag and a few extra changes of garments which I stowed away in the boot of our aircar. Then I carried Janey's two suitcases upstairs and stowed them away in the boot for her.

When I came back downstairs, Acey was parading around in her unmentionables while Peri was wearing a pair of PJs miles too big for her. Janey bid us good night and and all four of us took to our bunks. Guess I'd be driving since it had been my idea in the first place. Maybe the country aether would make 'Kashi' feel a little less like we had skunked him and shoved him into that tiny safe. Tell Janey I was bringing him along? Not on your sweet Nellie!

We were both up and ready to go when 'Artok' gave us our wake up calls. Janey had repped up a picnic lunch for us and I repped up java and goodies for the trip. Sure, Uncle Chuckie had said an hour but I wasn't about to fly low, if you'll pardon the pun. Not a good example for an officer to set to be pulled over and then vidticketed for speeding! Harold suggested we use a picnic grove in 'Tellalurk', a tiny village at our halfway point. We thanked him and I checked the vidmaps before I snapped the top shut.

We were both bundled up in furs and hoods from head to toe because the quicksilver (mercury) figures were really low today- 26 Kelvin degrees (Minus sixteen Fahrenheit). I let out the throttle and this time we climbed upwards very sedately indeed until the altimetre read 200 metres or 600 feet or so. Then I shifted up and touched the speedbar gently. My speed went to point nine SubWarp and I quickly down geared until it was reading SW point three six.

Two hours later we remembered that we had not eaten since last night and we pulled into a space truck stop for a meal. I thought I recognized one of the riggers but I could not be sure and he left before we did so it was a moot point. Refreshed, we returned to the aether. Up here the winds were stronger and the temperatures were lower making the drag heavier so I upped the speed to point four SW. We spotted the picnic grove and I landed in a nice grassy glen.

We spread out a cloth on a picnic table and then Janey and I set the table and laid out our luncheon. As a precaution, I ignited my laser sword hilt and drove it hilt first into the ground several metres away from the table keeping it between us and the crystal clear lake where we both intended to take a swim before continuing our flight.

Then I used the second laser sword I'd brought along on the other side of the table keeping it between us and the road. Janey looked at me like I was baka nuts but she said nothing. Soon she would be thanking me for my precautions.

"So! We found you at last, you cowardly dogs! When you didn't turn up in town, we followed your trail out here, Ike Clanton!" snarled a heavy male voice close at hand. I looked but I saw nobody. I shrugged and we went back to our sandwiches and potato salad.

"Who didn't come to town, Earp? It was you and your kin and Doc that gave us the slip, lawman! We followed your trail out to these woods!" snapped an angry male voice, a different one and again there was nobody there to see! I unsnapped my holster's strap and waited. Janey was beginning to look worried.

"Are these woods h-h-haunted or something, Romy?" she whispered and I motioned her to be quiet because suddenly two groups of men in old fashioned ancient Terran Western getups had materialized at either ends of our table! There were six at Janey's end and four at mine. Hers were a hard looking lot while three of mine were wearing stars on their coats. The last one was toting a bottle of some sort. All of Janey's six were also carrying bottles containing some horrible smelling mess which they drank from every few minutes.

The leader of the six was an elderly gentleman and he finished his drink first and tossed the bottle right at Janey's head! Janey ducked but the bottle disintegrated into the aether as soon as it hit the force beam barrier I'd erected around the table.

I fished out my PDO unit and tapped in a question. 'Artok' replied almost immediately that, in all likelihood, these men had been caught in the vortex before the continuum of space and time had been sealed and were now trapped here. He went on to explain that since they came from Tombstone in Arizona on Terra circa the AD 1880s, these were probably the OK Corral gunfighters the Clantons, McClorys and Johnny Ringo at Janey's end of the table and Morgan, Virgil and Wyatt Earp, US Marshalls and their friend, Doctor John Holliday at my end.

I quickly explained matters to Janey and none too soon because apparently the two factions had just noticed us! Sure, the barrier I'd erected around us protected us from any outside activity but I knew that we would have to get these idiots back to the Academy or HQ. That meant that we would not be traveling on to any hot springs today!

"Comm relay somebody to send a skysled for these guys, Romana. Then we can get going." she ordered but I could not obey.

"Sorry, no can do, Janey. That protective barrier that shields us from them also blocks comm signals. If I lift it, the gunfight will be played out and six Terrans will die on Shimougou in the 23rd Century instead of on Terra in the 19th! We can try talking to them and reasoning with them if you like." I replied and she nodded. Guess that meant me, huh?

"You're the liaison officer's exec so it's your job, not mine, Romy." said big brave Janey Huntley and I sighed.

I decided to try the leader of the Earp party, Wyatt. He looked more of a reasonable guy than the other kooks. I unholstered my Mark XIII and held it up for everyone to see. Then I laid it on the table.

"I am now unarmed, gentlemen. Believe it or not, here we are the law, not your opponents. This is going to come to you as a shock but you are no longer on Terra, your planet Earth. You are many hundreds of thousands of light years from there. This is Shimougou and we are intergalactic law officers. My name is Major Romana Caldy and this is Major Janelle Huntley of the 3WA, the World Welfare Works Association but we'll get into all of that stuff later.

"Unfortunately, the rift in the time and space continuum curtain that you came through is now permanently sealed so you will not be going back home- ever. We are relocating colonists like you to a new world in this galaxy. For now, we are going to have to get you all transported back to our capitol city where you'll be billetted until the next space craft leaves for 'Victorine' which will be your new home.

"As one of you has already seen, this table and its immediate area are protected by an energy barrier. I am now going to deactivate it but you must all promise me that you will not do any shooting at each other, us or anybody else. Is this agreed, gentlemen? (They all swore by 'God' that they would not 'draw their shootin' irons' which I assumed meant they agreed) Very well. Janey, please turn off that laser sword by your foot. Good. Now extinguish this one by me. Excellent. You can sit down again." I said. The barrier snapped off and I approached the Earps party. Janey reluctantly walked to the Clantons party.

Johnny Ringo grinned and, faster than lightning, the fool drew down on me! Before he could fire, my Panther had blasted the Colt .44 revolver from his hand! I leaped backwards and grabbed my Mark from the table. I put a blast through the closest tree which began to burn, amazing everyone including Janey!

"Shall we try again? I want all of you to lay down your weapons and that includes you lawmen as well. We do not wish to hurt you, gentlemen but, should we deem it necessary, we have carte blanche authority to uphold the law here and in a dozen other galaxies. Janey, cover the Clantons while the Earps and Doc drop their guns. Then I'll cover the Earps party while you disarm the Clantons party. Now, gentlemen!" I said.

Snarling, Morgan and Virgil tossed down their Colts as did Doc Holliday. Then Janey did the same with the baddies.

"What do we do with these hand weapons and small arms (rifles), Romy?" asked Janey. I pointed towards the aircar.

"Stow 'em in our boot. We'll give 'em to Garner when we get back home. Excuse me, gentlemen. Major Caldy to 3WA local control. Come in, please. Over." I said into my comm badge.

"Looky there, Pa! She's talkin' to her brooch!" said one of the Clantons to the elderly gent.

"She's nuts, Ike." laughed Virgil Earp but his brothers did not smile. Neither did Ringo or Holliday.

"How do we know this ain't Earth, Lady Lawman?" snarled Tom McClory and Janey pointed overhead.

"You ever see three suns in the sky back home, Mr McClory?" asked Janey and everyone looked skywards.

"What the- Three? And look there, Wyatt! I never heard of purple tree bark!" said an astounded Morgan Earp.

"Say! I can breathe a Helluva lot better too! Cough's gone as well! Dunno where we are but I like it here!" said Doc.

I lit up a cheroot and passed around my case. Thank goodness everyone was a smoker! Janey preferred cigarettes and used one of the laser swords to ignite hers and the Clantons' smokes. She accidentally pointed it at a small sapling and the light 'blade' sliced right through the tree!

My comm badge trilled and I answered it, listened a few minutes and then asked Lt Charles to lend us a couple of skysleds. She promised she'd send us two and I thanked her. I assured Janey that the sleds would be here in a few minutes.

"Excuse me, ma'am but how far away are these here sleds you ordered?" asked Wyatt and I nonchalantly replied they were 'quite close', 'a few hundred miles' from us. Janey began to clear away our lunch things and everyone decided to help. Billy Clanton was the first one to hear the sleds. Do I need to day how surprised everyone was when they landed beside us?

A pert blonde leaped down from one of the sleds while a young Alyrian male stepped from the other sled. He stood to attention while the blonde saluted us. I returned her salute and so did Janey.

"Major Caldy? Ensign Marsha Landers, mum. We brought your sleds for ya. These the offworlders ya mentioned, mum?" she asked and I nodded.

"Stand easy, Marsha. Call me Romy and that's Janey. If you'll fly one back with us, I'll pilot the other one and your partner can accompany Janey in the aircar. Know the Takachiho Academy in Furool (Foo-Lon) City? (She nodded) That's where we're going. (I turned to our new pals) OK. Get aboard the sleds, gentlemen. Janey, take the aircar with the Alyrian kid. Anyone want to go with Janey in the aircar? OK. Take the McClorys with ya. Know the way back home? Good. Let's saddle up." I said.

Marsha's partner was Krygool Sentak and he was a sub-ensign. He sat beside Janey in front while the McClorys shared the back seat of the aircar. Ike and Billy Clanton and Johnny Ringo rode with Marsha while the Earps and Doc Holliday and the other Clanton lad rode in the other sled with me. I took off first followed by Marsha. I looked back and saw that Janey lifted off in the aircar with no troubles at all. Remember your first airplane ride? That was how the cowpokes looked. All except Wyatt and Doc who asked me endless questions about space travel and other stuff. I imagined that the McClorys were doing the same thing with Janey and the Clantons and Ringo were likewise driving Marsha Landers crazy in the other skysled.

Charles Augustus Garner was busy reading the 'riot act' to Peri Brown and Ace Johnston in his office when my comm relay had come through from 'Garresford Loch', the local 3WA substation I had gotten the sleds from that we were now using to ferry back our guests from ancient Terra. His mind was so focused on the signal messages that he merely gave the new subbies 'three days off without pay' and sent them over to Chief Ellie Hathaway to be used as 'go fers' instead of making them scrub the bogs at HQ. They got off lucky!

Garner called Gustav, Poporo and Gooley and told them about the wild West desperadoes we were bringing back and they decided not to bother Mr Galadriel with the details. Instead the data was added to the daily signal report which would be delivered to 'God Himself' this evening.

We made great time and before dinnertime, we had docked atop the Academy's spaceport. I thanked Marsha and Krygool and they took the skysleds back to 'Garresford Loch' substation. The gunslingers were assigned separate suites in the dorms and Janey and I reported to Mr Garner's office to explain the details. He dismissed us and Janey insisted that we leave our aircar for Peri and Acey to use to get back home later tonight. Janey was a country gal and decided we'd just take oue time in walking back home.

An hour later, I reminded her that we lived almost seventeen miles from HQ and she allowed me to hail a passing holocab and we rode home in that. After the 'cab' had lifted off our roof, I reminded Janey that all of our stuff was still in the boot of our aircar and she said 'Thank Kami for replicators'. I grinned and then I remembered what I had put in the aircar's glove box- little 'Kashi'!

I cooked up a nice dinner and we listened to some classical music while we waited for our roomies.

Meanwhile back at the Academy dorms, Rangers Parker and Trivette were delivering dinner to the OK Corral bunch.

"This is my special fire engine Texas chili, boys. Eat hearty." said CD, handing around the dinner trays.

"It's hot, guys! Don't drink any water or liquids though. Just bread, man!" explained Jimmy Trivette.

"Excuse me, Rangers but why were our Colts and rifles returned to us? You folks are that trusting?" asked Wyatt Earp and Jimmy grinned.

"Try shooting me, Mr Earp. Trying just firing that antique pistol, sir. You'll get a big surprise." said Jimmy. CD Parker stuck his fingers in his ears. Jimmy didn't because he knew what was about to happen or rather, not happen.

"OK. You asked for it. Take that, wall! And that and that!" said Wyatt, firing at the wall. Nothing happened and Wyatt and his brothers and old Doc Holliday checked that the gun was loaded.

"You fellers using silencers on them puppies, Mr Earp?" asked CD. Jimmy asked 'Artok' to lift the 'weapons dampener' for this room only.

"Now try again, sir. Please use the wall and not us though." said Jimmy, sticking his fingers in both ears as did CD Parker.

"Take that, wall!" yelled Wyatt and his Colt roared out its defiance. Wyatt and the others were astounded when the revolver bullets flattened as soon as they struck the wall! Jimmy asked 'Artok' to restore the 'dampener' and then they all examined the wall.

"Kelvinite, guys. This stuff is a hundred times denser and stronger than steel and a thousand times harder than diamond! Only one of these local folks' weapons will even dent it! I'd show ya what a Mark can do to it but I'm still paying for the last wall I damaged! Eat up, guys because you have a meeting with this place's chiefs in a half an hour. Someone will come and get you later. Your friends the Clantons, McClorys and Mr Ringo are being housed in another wing. I am sure that someone over there has just given the same demonstration to them. This 'weapons barrier' is in effect throughout the city so that you visitors won't hurt yourselves or any of us. Need anything else, gentlemen?" asked Jimmy and Doc asked for some 'chawin' terbacky' while the others asked for cheroots and cigarette rolling stuff.

"Just ask the replicator unit for whatever you want and it will make it for ya, guys. Honest Injun!" said CD on his way out the portals. Jimmy showed them how to open the portals and followed the older Ranger.

At 1900 hours (7 PM), Neko and Nyssa arrived to pilot the Earps and Holliday to the HQ building while Nick Wolfwood and Joe Friday did the same for the Clantons party. Nick insisted on demonstrating the power of the Mark XII he wore and he burned a hole in the wall that was a full metre in diameter!

"I'll blame it on Vash, Joey." chuckled the Gunsmoke reverend gunslinger.

"These guys are real, Nicky, not fictional like us so how we gonna get them back to Terra in their time era? That 'rift' is sealed now, isn't it?" whispered the detective sergeant and Nick nodded his agreement.

"Guess one of our time jockeys will have to take 'em back home in his blue police box, Sarge." whispered Nick.

Nyssa piloted the Earps and Doc while Joe piloted the Clantons group to 3WA HQ clear across the city. They landed both skysleds on the roof and led the way inside. Joe and Nick arrived first and about six munutes later, Nyssa and Neko touched down with the trio of US Marshall and the dentist gunfighter. Morgan crawled to the edge of the roof and cautiously peered over the edge.

How high up are we, Reverend?" asked Virgil.

"About eight hundred floors, that's all. This is one of our shorter skyscrapers." replied Joe Friday, activating the portals. The Earps and Doc were impressed and terrified. Inside and a few floors down, the Clantons, the McClory brothers and Johnny were suitably impressed and just as scared.

"Never been arrested in a place this this before. Bet the Earps never been in a place like this neither, boys." whispered Ike Clanton and they all agreed. Joe's hearing was acute and he looked surprised.

"You're not being arrested, Mr Clanton. We are taking to you to see someone who might be able to get all of you back home. Here's Mr Garner's ready room. After you, gentlemen." said Nick. At the other side of the room a few moments later, Neko and Nyssa arrived with the Earp brothers and Dr John Holliday, DDS.

Seated across from the newcomers were Garner, Gooley, Gustav, Galadriel and Poporo. Standing behind them was our own fearless leader, the firebrand redhead. She performed the introductions all around and told everyone to 'siddown and shut up'.

"I'm Marshall O'Halloran. Call me Kei or Boss. No Earps, not your kinda Marshall. Nine's a military rank although I am an intergalactic lawperson same as you three. Territorial Sector Chief Garner will now speak to you." she said and rested her gloved hands on the back of Chief Gustav's chair.

"First I want to assure you gentlemen that none of you are being arrested. You do pose a problem for us though. You see, our other displaced persons here are all simulations of fictional characters and we cannot return them home. We have already solved that problem. However your party, Marshall Earp and your party, Mr Clanton are not fictional. You really lived and I regret to say, died way back in the 19th Century on your planet Earth which we know as Terra.

"Normally, until recently, very recently, we would have simply sent you back through the rift or hole in the Universes' space and time continuum curtain to your own time era in Tombstone in the American Arizona Territory on ancient Terra. Unfortunately, that rift has now been sealed up for good.

"Our only alternative is to have you ferried back through time by one of our own Gallifreyan time jockeys in one of their own TARDISes, a small ship that travels through both space and time. Understand? Good. At the moment, our time lords and time ladies are recovering from a terribly awful mission which has recently ended.

"As this is the holidays season here, we will be unable to do anything about your predicament until JanFeb at least. You are most welcome to remain in the dorms at the Academy, explore the city, enjoy the holidays, in short, anything you like until proper arrangements can be made with one of our Doctors. Anyone else have anything to add? No? Questions, gentlemen?" said Mr Garner and Tom McClory stood up.

"We ain't gonna hafta pay fer a new wall in our settin' room, are we? The reverend there set fire to it, not us!" he asked and Mr Gustav replied to him.

"Of course not, Mr McClory. All of our dorms are vidscanned constantly. Mr Wolfwood will have the amount for repairs deducted from his UniCreds vidpay account. Anyone else have a question for us? No. Very well. Thanks for coming. Mr Popo? Please dismiss everyone. Have a nice visit, gentlemen." said Willy. The chiefs all filed out of the room except for Mr Poporo who called us to attention. The 3WA officers all snapped ramrod straight. The visitors remained seated.

"Everyone to attention, please!" snapped Mr Popo and the Earthers all stood to attention.

"Dis- Wait for it, Reverend! Dismissed! Go have fun!" yelled Mr Popo, exiting the room.

"Anyone know how to fly or drive? No? OK. No reason to give you any transports then. Use these to contact us and keep in touch. Nyssa, Joe? Hand out these comm badges. Just speak into the aether, the air I mean and talk just like you were conversing face to face, guys. You know about the reppers. Check. Here are your UniCreds vidpay account wallets. We've advanced each of you 5K UniCreds spending currency. 'Artok' will explain how they work. We'll take all of ya back to your dorms and I suggest that you turn in early. Space and time travel is very fatiguing. Someone from your own world will be assigned to each of your groups. If you have any more questions, just ask them. OK. Back to the sleds." said Neko Olson and off they all went back to their dorm rooms.

The four of us had dinner and then watched vidTV or vidfilms until 2200 (10 PM), when, by common agreement, we all turned in early. A vidmessage left by Mr Gooley for us instructed Peri and Acey that the two subbies had filing detail duty with Chief Hathaway at 0900 tomorrow morning. Janey and I still had R&R for one more day and we determined that we were going to find those hot springs this time and we left an 0600 wake up call with 'Artok'. I padded up to the roof with a replicated mouse and fed poor 'Kashi'. I activated the AC unit inside the glove box for him. He purred quietly and ingested his monthly din din. I yawned and sought out my bunk. Acey was snoring like a grampus and Peri was sleeping quietly. Janey was tossing and turning in her bed but she always did that. I was asleep as soon as my head hit the pillows.

I was already up, bathed and dressed in a smart suit when 'Artok' called us at six. Janey dawdled in the shower, took her own sweet time selecting an outfit, dawdled over breakfast and had our gear not still be in the boot of our aircar, she'd have wasted even more time packing! I was at the controls and fuming while I kept checking my wristchromo when Milady Huntley finally arrived. I had packed our picnic baskets at 0530 or she'd have been forever.

"Did I keep you, dear?" she asked sweetly and she did look super in that black skin tight bikers outfit. I let out the throttles and quickly climbed to a cruising altitude before I opened her up and hit the speed bar. We easily outdistanced yesterday's run and we arrived at the springs in plenty of time for a long relaxing soak in the warm bubbly waters before we unpacked our lunch baskets.

"Let's sit under those trees, Romy. Looks nice and cool." she suggested and I agreed. After lunch, Janey started strolling towards the bath house's hotel until I pointed out that she had better get dressed first! Then I asked her whay she was going to the hotel.

"To register for our overnight stay, silly." she replied.

"Unh unh. We're due back at work in the morning at 0700 sharp. Remember? We lost almost a whole day when the gunfighters showed up yesterday, Janelle. Mr Garner will have a pair of conniptions and a catfit if we don't show. You recall what he did to Perpigillian and Esther (Ace's real birth name) for blowing off his debriefing to go shopping, don't you? Wonder how long they'll be sub-ensigns? Dunno about Acey but Peri's going to be your yeoman on the 'Dae', Major." I chortled while I was speedily packing up the leftovers and recycling all the empties and garbage.

On Shim, everything is recycled and re-used. There are NO exceptions because our natural resources are so limited. Janey had dressed again and she was folding up our table covers. She picked up my aircar code keys and started to unlatch the glove box before I screeched!

"Janey! NO! Don't open that! 'Kashi's in there!" I howled. I dashed across the lawn, easily cleared the table in a single bounding leap and slammed the glove box shut just as 'Kashi' was poking out his head and blinking in the strong ttriple sunlight beams!

"Sheesh! Romana Mandlinkova Caldy! You just gave a heart attack! Why is that thing inside our glove box? Why didn't you call Tomoh (Jordan. He was Edie's older brother) to come and get the little perisher?" demanded my superior.

"Tomoh's not home, Janey. He's on a special hush hush mission for Mr Galadriel and Mr Gooley. Remember? Nobody else wantsthe poor guy so I decided to keep him in the glove box. It's air conditioned and dark. Really I dunno why you're so scared of him. He's cute." I answered.

"Cute? Hell, he's creepy crawly! Just keep him away from me! I'm riding in the back seat! Maybe I;ll even ride in the rumble boot's seat! So we have time for a stroll before we start back?" she asked and I glanced at the local village's town hall chromo which told me it was half past 1500 hours or wanting a half hour before four in the afternoon.

"A damned quick one, girl! I want to beat the rush hour air traffic so I want to leave around 1600, four. OK?" I replied and Janey nodded. She was fishing out her purse from the boot. She pulled something out and relatched the boot.

"This is all I need, my UniCreds vidwallet. I promised to bring home some souvenirs. Let's go." she said. I left her at the souvenir kiosk and I wandered down the lane until I found a quaint java shoppe where I ordered a 'Minty Mocha' and sipped it while I waited for 'Shop-a-holic Suzie'. At five to four, I walked swiftly back to the kiosk and dragged Milady away, kicking and screaming that she needed just another ten minutes.

I was about to open the hatch for her but she dumped all of her sacks and parcels into the back seat and front passenger seat before she climbed into the boot's 'rumble seat' and sat down. I sighed and strapped her in before I boarded and snapped shut the roof of the aircar because the weather had turned decidedly frigid! Brr! I started the heater and pulled on my fur parka and gloves. Janey had struggled into her own wintry garments and pulled her snow and sun goggles down over her eyes. I dropped my piloting helmet's blast shield which darkened the triple suns so I could fly.

I must have broke every speeding record known on the planet but we were home in jig time. In fact, I was damned lucky not to run into a 'KP' crusiser ship! A surprise was waiting for us because the girls had cooked dinner! Not ordered or repped, cooked! We both took an appreciative whiff and almost threw up! Cooking was not Peri's strong suit and what Acey did not know about the kitchen would have filled several vid cookery books!

To this day I have no idea what we ate but we did manage to keep it down somehow. Acey ate anything edible or inedible it seemed! Peri ate sparingly, claiming she was 'watching her girlish figure'. Peri weighed less than both me and janey put together! Janey confided to me later that Peri could not stomach her own cooking! After dinner, Janey and I polished our 'oak leaf clusters' (We were both majors) while Acey ran out lugging what looked to be a month's worth of dirty uniforms.

Peri ran after Acey, yanking off ensign stripes before she returned and began removing her own second looey gold/white bars from her own spotless and heavily starched uniforms. I asked where Acey had gone in such a rush and Peri told us that she was looking for an 'instantaneous' dry cleaners. I'd never heard of such an establishment and neither had Janey but Peri assured us that one had opened five blocks over just last month and they were very inexpensive.

"Darn! I thought sure I still had our old 'subbie' half stripes! I musta left 'em on the ship. Either of you-" asked Peri and we both disappeared into our rooms. Both Janey and I returned with our old sub-ensign red/green half stripes insignia and handed them to a grateful Peri.

"Thanks, guys! We'd have got the sharp end of Miz Hathaway's tongue if we showed up without ou ranks two days in a row! Hope Acey gets back here soon. I want to hit the sack early tonight. I'm bushed!" said Peri and we both smiled at the kid.

"What did the old 'Harrier' have you guys doing, Peri? I remember she was a real Haridan from Hell when I was a subby." giggled Janey. Peri did not share her humour.

"First we had to scrub and polish all the officers' latrines (bathrooms) on the fifteenth level. Then Milady Hathaway decided they looked too drab. My loud-mouthed roomie told her 'a lick o' paint will solve that problem' and we spent the rest of the afternoon painting them! At 1600, we were getting changed to go home when we were told that Chief Hathaway wanted us to file some vidforms. Took close to an hour and then it took forever to flag down an airtaxi. When we got back home, Acey claimed she's left her vidwallet in her other pants! Airtaxis are so expensive, don't ya agree? Anyway, I've only got a hundred and a half in UC's left until NovDec! Unless-" Peri left her question hang in the aether.

"Neither a borrower nor a lender be, dear. Mr Benjamin Franklin of Terran Philadelphia, Pennsylvania said that." answered Janey. I stuck my hand into my jacket pocket and transferred 300 UC's from my vidpay account to Peri's.

"Don't tell Ace. I'm not made of UniCreds, ya know. Oh and don't mention it to Milady either. I know how tough it was when I was a subby. Your vidpay vourcher's gonna take a huge drop, girl. I'd stop going overboard so much if I were you, Peri. If you want to turn in, go ahead. I'd be happy to attach the half stripes to Acey's uniforms when she gets back. 'Night." I said and poor Peri yawned and headed for her bunk.

"Yippee! We've got a 'Grey Baron' pizza in the freezie! Wanna share? Leftover potato salad too. Not much but better than that mess they cooked for dinner, kiddo." called Janey from the kitchenette.

"Keep your voice down. Ya don't wanna hurt Peri's feelings, do ya?" I whispered while she was nuking our dinner.

"Nope but what about Acey's?" she asked.

"She could care less what we say, Janey. Hush. That sounded like the lift. Guess she walked back because her jet boots are still here. The portals swished aside and Ace walked in, carrying several polyplastic wrapped hanger over her shoulder.

"Boy! I got there just before Alvin's dinner break and he rushed these through. Cool lookin', ain't they? Fulla starch too. Bet 'Old Iron Britches' won't be able to harp at me about neatness of dress now! Where's Brownie? (She meant Peri who had medium brown hair) Hey! Pizza! Don't mind if I do! Last time I let Peri make lasagna! She forgot the cherry soda pop and potato chips!" grumbled Acey, helping herself to a slab of pizza. Janey grabbed the potato salad just in time.

We shared the celery-seeded goodies and the rest of the pizza. When Janey came back from the john (Where she retched for ten whole minutes), she brewed up some hazelnut java for us and some black java for Acey which she 'doctored up' with rum. I glanced at my wristchromo.

"0700 hours sharp for all of us tomorrow or Mr Garner will be angry, guys. Guess I'll turn in. Coming, Janey. How about it, Acey? I put your half stripes on your uniforms for ya. Peri turned in an hour ago. 'Night." I said and I went to bed. I heard Janey's portal snap shut and then a few minutes later, Acey's shut as well. 'Artok' had orders to awaken us at six.

"Anyone seen my clean pants?" howled Peri.

"I can't find my damned jacket!" yelled Acey.

"We're gonna be late! Hurry up and eat your breakfasts!" yelped Janey who was still in her kimono.

"I'll be waiting in the aircar, guys. Harold's taking care of 'Kashi' for us. It's almost 0630 and if we don't get a wiggle on, we're gonna hit the rush hour air traffic again! I'm gonna have to do SW five to get us there on time as it is, darn it! Even Jonny gets up when I call him! Get a move on yer asses!" I screeched, running to the roof and fumbling with my code keys.

Peri, Janey and Acey ended up dressing in the ladies' at HQ! Now I knew why the Boss hated having to pilot Donovan all the time! I was fishing in my bag for my 3WA vidID but Gladdy grinned and waved us through the gates.

"Go ahead, Romy. I've been reassigned to the 'Grazer XII' starting next week. I'm gonna be a yeoman and an officer! I can't thank ya enough! Mr Garner said you put in a good word for me and I'm grateful. Take the last lift car. It's the express to Level 14. Brown? Johnston? Take Car #4 up to Level 15. You're both late already!" said Gerri Gladiolus, the gate guard at the front entrance hall.

"Thanks. Don't mention it, Gladdy. What are friends for eh?" I replied and I hustled Janey into the last car. Peri and Acey waved to us from their car and then we were whooshed upstairs. When we walked into Mr Garner's office, Mr Gustav and Mr Gooley waved away our salutes and asked us to sit down.

"Charlie Garner's been called away on business. He'll be on Mars all week so Andy's (Gooley) filling in for him. Janey? You stay here with Andy. Romana? You're with me. See you at lunch maybe? (Andy nodded) C'mon, Lt Colonel." said Willy Gustav.

"Your promotion to Light Colonel and Janey's to full bird Colonel were rushed through late yesterday. You are both being reassigned or rather, you have already been reassigned. As Allison's 'adjutant' or 'exec', we decided that you need your own transport so you are now commanding a patrol starship, the 'Grazer XII'. The only crew member assigned so far is your yeoman, Ensign Third Class (jg) Geraldine Modella Gladiolus whom you already know, I believe? (I nodded) You'll need to choose a bridge crew and a navvy as well as an exec. For now, I've assigned a skeleton crew for your voyage to 'Victorine' this weekend. The 'Daedalus' will provide protection for your ship." said Willy and I was amazed!

"I have my own starship, Willy? Leaving this weekend? Can I take Peri and Acey along? What's the mission I'm on?" I asked him, the questions coming out like a machine gun!

"Whoa! Slow down, Romy! You can take whoever you like so long as they are not already assigned elsewhere. Even if they are, they might jump at a chance of checking out a new world. Your mission is to find a suitable site on 'Vicky' for the colonists' settlement. It's been more than a solar month since the terraforming and EDEN-izing were completed. I know that you wanted Peri as yeoman but so did Janelle and she outranks you so Peri's staying with the 'Dae'. 'God' (Mr Galadriel) wants another time lord or lady along with his or her TARDIS besides you and Allie. I suggested #4 Doctor but he has opted to stay behind to ferry the OK Corral bunch back to ancient Terra. #6 the 'Mad Hatter' won't leave Peri Brown so he's aboard the 'Dae'. The first three Doctors are too argumentative and Kei O'Halloran's taken a shine to #5 so that just leaves #7 Leprechaun for you, Romana. Anyway, there'll be three TARDISes on 'Victorine' which should satisfy my colleagues and-" explained Mr Gustav.

"Huh? Three? How do ya figure, Willy? Allie's, Leprechaun's are two and sure, #6 has one but he'll return with the 'Daedalus'. Still only two because I don't have a TARDIS, sir." I said reasonably.

"Will you get me a cup of java, please? Use the vending machine back there." said Willy and I shrugged my shoulders and placed a 'Foameredge' cup under the spigot marked 'Coffee, Strong, Black' because I knew he loved strong java. My hand slipped off the slick cup and then it went right through the machine! I walked back slopping java on the carpet which activated a drying and vaccing 'droid'.

"A TARDIS?" I asked and he grinned and took a long pull at his java.

"The vending machine exterior was my idea but you can always change it, kiddo. Your new Mark Five-A machine was delivered early this morning and I'm having it loaded aboard the 'Grazer XII' for you. Try and find us a good settlement site and do try and get back in time for the holidays. As soon as the new year's festivities end, you'll be returning to 'Monshat', the closest moon to 'Victorine' with Allison Prydonia, permanently. She's the new Ambassador and you're the new Consul General for our newest world. The 'Dae' will provide protection but then it will return here. A flotilla of a half dozen fighters will be provided for your permanent protection from the ISSP. Suba Moriarity, late of Kaguran Air & Space Patrol, will be commanding that unit. Any other questions, Lt Colonel?" said Willy, glancing at his wristchromo. I shook my head.

"Excellent! Gooley's explaining all of this to Janelle as we speak. Hmmn. You want permission to take along Peri and Acey? (I nodded) Well, I cannot have mere sub-ensigns along on this mission. They are hereby reinstated as Ensigns (jg), Fourth Class though. Ellie (Hathaway) has them doing important work today so I cannot dismiss them early. You flew everyone today?" said Willy.

"Yup. Is Janey getting the day off as well? Good. We have a lot to do before Friday, sir. Peri and Acey can get a holocab or autotaxi home tonight, sir." I replied.

"The Hell with that crap, Romy! I will personally fly them home tonight. That way I'm sure they won't be making any more detours. 'Vicky's cold this time of the year so dress warm and pack your 'snuggies'. Your crew will be aboard Friday evening before 1800 hours, six o'clock. I want you and the 'Dae' and the 'LA6' (Allie's flagship) lifted off and on your way before 1900, 7 PM. Understood?" he ordered and I snapped to attention and saluted him. Then I gave him a peck on the cheek.

"Sir! Yes, sir! I'm really gonna miss you and the other chiefs, Willy. Thanks for seeing that my roomies get home tonight. Guess I'll see you before we lift off?" I said.

"Count on it! I'll be there. Dismissed, Lt Colonel." he replied, waving goodbye to me. I ran into Janey at the lift stations and we exchanged news reports.

"How about that, Romy? I'm protecting you for a change instead of the other way around." she giggled.

"The kids gonna vidphone you when work's done so you can pick them up?" she asked.

"Nope. Uncle Willy's giving them a lift. He said that Ellie's given them some important tasks to perform today and it'll keep 'em busy until tonight." I said. We rode the lift downstairs and I stopped to chat with Gladdy.

"Go home tonight and pack enough for a month. Be at my place (I gave her our address) at 1700, 5 PM Friday evening with all your junk, OK? Better wear a spiffed up uniform and be sure you put on your new ensign stripes. Draw a PDO unit from supply and get rid of that pea shooter too. Draw either a Mark XII (disruptor gun) or a Mark XIII (ion cannon like mine). Need the rest of the day off?" I said.

"No. I want to enjoy my last day as a gate guard, mum. I'll be there Friday night, mum." she replied and I frowned.

"Gladdy, I want you as my permanent yeoman but that will entail moving. Are you OK with that?" I asked. Janey was chomping at the bit to get going. I ignored her.

"Moving, mum? Where?" asked the puzzled girl.

"To 'Monshat', one of the moons of a new world called 'Victorine'. My new boss will be Ambassador and I'm to be Consul General for the new colonists who will be settling there. You'll still be able to visit Shim whenever I can arrange it. I promise." I explained and she beamed at me.

"Long as I won't be staying in a dorm room, I'd move to another Universe, mum! I would like to spend the holidays with my folks though if that's OK with you, mum?" asked Gladdy.

"Surely. Tell your folks that all of ya are invited to the big 3WA HQ party on 18 NovDec. We won't be leaving for good until after the new year anyway. You'll be needing an advance so-" I said and tapped out a transfer of a thousand UCs to Gladdy's vidwallet.

"That should tide you over nicely. If you need more, just ask me. C'mon Janelle! You want to go home or not?" I said and we double-timed it out to the aircar. I did not do SW 6 on the way home! I kept the speed needles at SW 3.4 most of the way back. I left janey at the flat and I went down to the parking docks to beg Harold to take care of 'Kashi' until Tomoh Jordan returned after new year's or the Boss picked him up. Harold was only too delighted to help us out! It only cost me 650 UCs too! Boss owed me big time!

"Harold say OK? (I nodded and hung up my parka and fur hat) How much? 650? He let ya off cheap! Tomoh charges Kei 700 a week! That 650's until Tomoh comes back or the Boss reclaims that thing, right?" asked Janey who was already back in her kimono. That girl must be a quick change artist!

"Right. Can I borrow your sweats? I don't feel like unpacking my luggage since we'll be leaving Friday night." I replied and she tossed me a top and bottom and a pair of scuffed sneakers. Then she fished around in the dirty laundry basket and tossed me a pair of dingy crew socks. Beggars cannot be choosers as Lord Azwael always told us in his Triganomics class back on Gallifrey.

I had to admit that the sweats were comfy and the sneakers felt great on my sore tootsies after deck boots for a month and a half. We had yogurt for lunch and cookies that I'd baked for the picnics. Then we got down to planning for the trip to 'Victorine' and my mission. Hers was simple. Get Alley Cat's flagship and my new star cruiser to 'Victorine' in one piece. Then she got to come back home! If I knew the kids, Peri and Acey would hitch a ride back with Janey. I, however, was there with Allie for the long haul! What did I know about scouting out settlements anyway?

"Ah, my fair colleen! Even in those floor rags, ye look lovely, me dear Romana! Where's old sourpuss?" chortled #7 Doctor whom we called the Leprechaun. He wore his usual outlandish 'music hall' suit and his ridiculous hat and he still carried that dingy rolled umbrella.

"The 'Old Sourpuss' is making tea. Want some, Doctor?" called Janelle from the kitchenette.

"Love some, dearie. May I sit down?" he replied and I scooped up 'Nosy' and 'Whitey' from one of the easy chairs. He sat down, picked up 'Luna' and began stroking the nekomata kitty.

"Ooh! That feels good, Doc. A little higher and more behind the ears, please? Wonderful! Are we going too, Romy?" purred the sailor scouts' magical cat. 'Artemis', their other kitty was sleeping in one of the doggies' beds in the hallway. If I was being permanently assigned to the middle of nowhere, I was going to have 'Pookie', my pet 'jacaronda' mountain catasaurus, sent to me from Gallifrey. Tea was served and the three of us chatted away merrily all afternoon.

"Oh, before I forget, both my 'police box' and your 'coffee machine' are aboard 'Grazer', Romy. 'Hatter's box is aboard your 'Daedalus', Julia. and the 'Cricketer' fellow (#5 Doctor) is moving 'Maggie' aboard the flagship for Allie. The tall fellow's own box is already aboard her. Are you taking your flat with you?" asked the mischievous 'Leprechaun' and I almost dropped my teacup! Janey did drop hers.

"It's Janey if you don't mind, sir and what tomfoolery are you playing at? We can't take the flat with us!" snapped Janey.

"Of course we could, Janey. We aren't but all he'd need to do is to 'materialize' his TARDIS around this flat and POOF! the flat would be aboard the TARDIS. However, if you don't mind Doctor, how about bringing your box here Friday so we can load up our luggage into it and then you can take it back to the 'Grazer' for us? Save a lot of shoe leather becauuse our roomies have more luggage than Zsa Zsa from ancient Terra! Leave that mess for the 'droids', Honey. About four on Friday, Doctor? Willy wants all three ships on our way by seven. Super! Let me get your things for you." I said. He promised to be here by four Friday afternoon and he left us.

"If we pile all the junk we're taking here in the middle of the sitting room, he can 'materialize' right over it and it'll be aboard. Then he can move my stuff and Ace's to the 'Grazer' and yours and Peri's to the 'Daedalus'. Teatime and no 'Hatter' today? He must be busy." I laughed.

"I have him refueling the 'Dae' and supervising a complete systems check. I promised that you'd bake him some scones. He doesn't seem to like mine." said Janey, leafing through a vidcatalogue from ' /kg'. I agreed to bake the scones but I didn't tell her that hers were usually more suitable as missiles than as foodstuffs! I vidded Jonny at the Academy motor pool but his supervisor told me that he was out on a job. I asked the guy to have Jon call me asap and he assured me he would.

I vidded Willy and asked him if Jonny could be assigned to me. We were still newlyweds and would be for another four months.

"I can't spare him for this first junket, Sweetie but I'm promoting him to Captain and placing him in charge of the motor pool on 'Monshat' when you assume your permanent duties in JanFeb. OK. I'll have Jon vidrelay ya tonight for sure. Bye." said Willy Gustav and I sighed and hung up.

"Gone for a whole month and a half and I have to make an appointment to see my own husband, dammit!" I yelled, stomping my foot which startled the doggies and poor Luna.

"Watch where you plant those shoe boxes, girl! You just missed 'Nosy's tail!" admonished 'Luna' before she went back to her catnapping. I apologized and began to mix my famous scones recipe up. I loved baking. It always seemed to relax me. We reppeda beef sirloin roast, Yorkshire pudding, mashed potatoes, creamed peas, rolls, java, tea, milk and blueberry trifle for dinner.

At 1730 hours, half past five, we heard a clump on the roof followed by hurried footsteps before our flat's portals opened and two exhausted tro-cons stumbled inside followed by Chief Anton Wilhelm Gustav.

"Yum! Something smells good! Mind if I invite myself to dinner? I did bring the kids home for ya." chortled Willy and I set an extra place at the table.

"We had to sand down her old desk and then we had to stain it and varnish the whole damned thing!" complained Peri.

"Then she decided that the windows needed cleaning too! My poor arms! Gimme a beer, will ya?" grumbled Acey.

"You two are off duty until you leave Friday night for 'Victorine'. You're both ensigns again albeit fourth class (jg) ones. Great! Please pass those spuds and peas! Wish I could cook and bake! Huh? Repped? You're kiddin', right? No? Tastes homemade to me, ladies. Oh and you kids have two days to pack. Need I confine you two to quarters or will you be cold stone sober on Friday? OK. I have your words on that? Fine. Don't disappoint me. Blueberry trifle too? Cool!" said Willy.

"Or you will live to regret it, won't they, Romy? (I nodded) Peri's coming with me and Acey's going with Romana. More coffee or tea,amyone?" said Janey and everyone had their cup out.

The next couple of days were mostly briefing sessions for us commanders and their execs. Legato Bluesummers had been chosen as my pilot with Angela de Roncesvalles as his co-pilot. The big elf hunter Junpei was my chief engineer and a few newbie space techs were assisting him. Nami Richards was my navvy and some other 'greenie' space techs were used for gunners and scanners and guards. Gladdy was my new yeoman and Jon Harlock volunteered to be my weapons officer. That left only my exec. I thought long and hard about that position before I finally decided on my fellow time lady, Rodan. She was well trained and was used to Gallifreyan discipline. She had proven herself in battle several times and we got along well together. As soon as my roster was complete, I used my vidcellphone to comm relay Willy Gustav.

"Rodan? She's an excellent choice, Romana. However, is she prepared for a permanent move to 'Monshat'? Better ask her. For now, she is assigned as your exec for this mission. Break it to her gently because she was looking forward to spending some of the holidays on Gallifrey with her other friends and relations. That's what Rio told me." said Willy.

"Huh? Roddy's a loner like me, man. We were both orphaned at an early age and we were both raised by my Auntie Vanessa. She had a damned hard time making friends and most of them are also mine. She was tickled pink when 'Old Scarfy' (#4 Doctor) told her about 'Shim'. I think she was just too embarrassed to admit the truth to Rio, sir. I'll ask her during the voyage but I'm almost certain sure that she'll jump at the opportunity. By the by, what's her current ranking? She was a WO3 (Warrant Office Third Class) but I'd like to raise her to Captain at least, if not a Suba Four, sir." I said.

"Roddy's a First Lieutenant for now. I'll cut the red tape and by Friday, she'll be a Captain (jg). Sorry but she needs time in grade for those Suba 'orbs'. Either that or a battlefield promotion from a Major or higher ranking officer. Besides her own CO so that means you cannot promote her to Suba until well into the new year, Romy. Vid relay that roster to me and the other chiefs as well as O'Halloran and 'God', OK? Sorry, I have a signal from Charlie Garner. See you Friday. Gustav out." said Wily, cutting me off in midsentence. I wonder what Chuck's doing on Mars? I sighed and lugged two more heavy suitcases into the sitting room. I set them down on the floor none too gently. I was tired!

"Hey! Not so rough, Romana! Kami alone knows what Johnston's got in those things! Rep up a few 'coolers' for me, will ya? Then gimme a hand with these explosives she's got in the fridge. Where are our two kiddies today I wonder?" asked Janey. Of late, she had taken to hanging around the flat in her unmentionables and I lived in fear of visits or vid comm relays from the chiefs or some other guys!

"Four enough for the 'nitrocyine' blocks and her other 'plastiques', Janey?" I asked, lugging the four 'coolers' into the kitchenette. Janey looked inside the freezer compartment and frowned. She held up two fingers.

"Nope. Better make it six. Rep up two more, Romy. Thanks." replied Janelle and I went back to repping. It was close to teatime and our luck was not destined to hold today it seemed. The klaxon gonged and a quick vidcheck revealed the 'Mad Hatter' in the hallway outside the flat.

"Oh no! I told you the 'Hatter' wouldn't miss bringing us tea two days in a row, Jan! Go get dressed and hurry! I'll try and stall him. Just throw on anything! Good thing Acey and Peri aren't here yet!" I whispered.

"Yeah, where are they anyway?" asked Janey, stepping into a lovely blue tea frock and pulling on spiked heels.

"They went skycycling with Kome Sawaguchi. They'll be back late. You about ready?" I whispered and she turned her back towards me.

"Unh huh. Zip me up, please?" she said and I made her look presentable in mixed company. I was in sweats but I was dressed and I was comfortable so the devil with playing tea party! I hit the portals release panel and #6 Doctor strolled in and sat down. He began unloading his pockets which had become like a ritual with this guy! Tea, goodies, plates, cups, saucers, even a tea pot and a tea cosy! Janey spread out a lovely Damask lace tablecloth over the java table (Repped, of course!) and 'Hatter' clucked his approval. The tea party conversation was filled with how'impossible' Perpigillian Brown had become of late and how dangerous it was to have to live with 'that fool of a girl' (Ace Johnston).

"You may be awakened some night by an explosion or worse! Don't tell me she's bringing along all of her toys again for this mission? What! Half a dozen 'coolers' of her junk! Ahem! I have an important dinner date and I simply must not be late or there will be heck to pay. It's clear across town and my TARDIS is aboard the 'Daedalus' at the Academy! I'll never get a holocab or autotaxi this late in the day! Oh dear! Oh dear! Could I perhaps borrow-" he pleaded.

"No! We only have one aircar, Doctor. Who knows when an emergency might crop up?" said janey and I agreed.

"Romana will be glad to fly you to your dinner engagement, Doctor. Just vidphone us afterwards and she'll be happy to pick you up and fly you back to the 'Daedalus'." said Janey. She had a big 'Cheshire Cat' grin on her puss because she didn't have to jet this guy back across town at rush hour! I did! However, what's done is done, right? I excused myself and changed into a standard uniform. I had discovered that 3WA officers were usually ignored by 'KP' police patrollers and I was a light colonel now!

"My dear! You look absolutely stunning! I am being chaueffeured in style by a lieutenant colonel, no less! Not to worry, Miss Huntley. I won't keep Mrs Caldy out too late tonight. If there is any emergency, we will be at HQ. My dinner date is with Captain Lily Schmidt. A working dinner date, I fear. Hush hush and all so don't ask. I couldn't tell you even if I knew which I don't. Blasted regulations! Come along, girl! Don't dawdle! I must be there on time- a quarter to five!" explained the Doctor, hustling me upstairs to the roof while I was still buckling on my gun sash!

We lifted off quickly and I climbed until we were well above the rush hour air traffic. Our speed climbed to almost SW 6! Suddenly, the gigantic 3WA HQ building filled my vidscreen and I braked quickly. He pointed to rooftop pads and I slid to a stop, the engines purring sweetly. He reached into the boot and came out with a huge heart shaped box of expensive chocolates and a spray of 'Galoxdorian roses' wrapped in plasticine. He gave me a peck on the cheek and quickly walked to the waiting lift car which snapped shut and disappeared from sight.

I sighed and lifted off. I cruised at a very sedate and ladylike SW 2.7 the whole way home. A note awaited me telling me that the kids had returned home, changed and had taken Janey along with them to an exclusive night club, the 'Pagoda Moon'. I could either join them or have dinner at home. I opted for the latter and made burgers, baked potatoes and grilled carrots. There was still leftover blueberry trifle for dessert and the Doctor had left his big cheery tea pot filled with black Peko and red Oolong teas.

The next morning Janey, the kids and I had received orders to report to the Academy's motor pool spaceport tower. We were met by my hubby Jonathan's shift supervisor, a Sergeant Major First named Freddie Jensen-Jones. He was quite pleasant and assured me that last night there had been a 'comm relay damper failure' which was why Jonny had not contacted me. No, he was on a repair mission today to 'Venus 6' and I would not be able to say goodbye to him personally.

"Sorry, Miz, I mean, Colonel Caldy, ma'am but Lt Caldy won't be back until Sunday, late Sunday and there's no comm relay signals out that far. I'll be sure to have him contact ya just as soon as I see him, ma'am. Me and my crew will be standing by Friday evenin' when ya lift off fer yer mission. Must be rough not even ta be married a year and ya practically need an appointment to see yer own spouse. Me? Married? Yup. Divorced twice but Miz Jensen-Jones #3 looks to be a keeper, ma'am. Watch yer step now when ya board the 'cherry picker' to take us up to 'Grazer XII', ma'am.

"Ya ain't never seen a star cruiser quite like our 'Grazer' series, Colonels. Sorry, I seem to be hoggin' the yakkin', don't I? Well, we're really proud o' these ships and rightly so! I'd give me eye teeth to be goin' with ya, ma'am. To wherever yer going'. Nope. Need ta know stuff and I don't need ta know is what Chief Willy told me. Some kinda new world was the only hint we got. Here we are, ma'ams. Above ya. That's our pride and joy, meet 'Grazer XII', a C- Class armoured star cruiser. Aether cooled impulse engines. Brand new state o' the arts warp drive and core. Capable of Warp 75.9 in a pinch. Equipped with the latest 'cloaking' abilities and the scientists even added a 'chameleon circuitry drive system' same as a workin' Type 40 or Mark Five TARDY has on her. Ya kin make 'Grazie' here look like whatever ya likes- on the outside. Inside? Well, here's the transporter booth. In a few micro-seconds, ye kin judge that fer yerselves, ma'ams." explained our guide.

He was understating 3WA cleverness! Inside the ship had been designed with the very latest 'quantum mechanics'! Like our own TARDISes on Gallifrey, 'Grazie' was bigger on the inside than she was on the outside! Unlike our own control consoles where everyone had to stand and hang on for dear life, my ship's 'bridge' and adjoining 'navigation room' were the familiar 3WA 'double bridge' with chairs and seats for all hands!

The 'rooms' behind were 'ready room/office', bedroom suites, kitchens, galleys, libraries, star rooms and the like. The engineering 'pods' were like sub-basements to the main floor. The other levels were mainly used for storage. Six levels in all with shooting ranges at the lowest level. Unlike a K-Class patrol star ship, the command level was on Five. The highest level, Six, was used an an observation car. Not a star room per se, more like those old-fashioned railway car observation cars that were once all the rage on ancient Terra. The seats were very comfy and equipped wih server 'droids' to cater to a passenger's every need! Then I remembered that this was to be a colonists' transport vessel and that their safety and comfort were our top priority for the main missions to follow this 'scouting expedition'. Janey 'oohed' and 'ahhed' at everything in sight.

"Say, Romy? How about a trade? You cam have 'Daedalus' and I'll command 'Grazie'. How about it? What do ya say?" asked the New Yorkey farm girl turned star ship commander. I smiled and shook my head 'no'. She pouted.

"Sorry, ladies but this ship has had 'voice controllers' built in and geared to recognize only the voice print patterns of Colonel Caldy, Captain Roddy and her flight crews. You two could not trade ships even if you wanted to, ma'ams. As you can see, each seating group has its very own personal 'replicating' unit. Almost ten. The big noises are holding a briefing in your new 'A/V chamber' so I think we'd best be on our way, ma'ams. Please follow me." said our inside hostess, a beautiful 'Aveurian' maiden, pink and grey haired. She towered over us at a height of close to two and a half metres! She was svelte and slender and her spotless neon white uniform fitted her like she'd been poured into it. Unlike most female officers, Ensign Daniella Vostock wore a very short micro-miniskirt rather than the traditional trousers. Surprisingly, she was barefoot! I was too polite to ask why as were Janey and Peri.

Acey Johnston was another matter entirely!

"Can't your superiors afford boots for ya, Danny? I got a few extra pairs if ya need a pair!" growled the 'Ace of Bombers', causing poor Daniella to blush. Her lime-coloured skin turned a bright Kelly green!

"Please, mum. I thank you for the kindly offer of footwear for myself but we 'Aveurs' are 'Shamanistic'. It is our religion, Ensign Acey. We female 'Aveurian' 'Shamas' are never permitted to use foot covering of any kind. It is strictly forbidden under pain of excommunication and banishment from our home worlds. However, we 'Aveurs' never feel excessive cold or heat so it is really a moot point." replied the embarrassed girl.

"Betcha saves a lot on stockings, socks and shoes, Dan! How about gettin' our guests some 'freshments, Honey?" said the big bluff Sarge. I fumed inwardly at this crass regard for women and I am almost sure that my feelings were shared by Janey, Peri and especially Acey!

"Have you ensigns seen our weapons systems yet? They are really something to write home about, Miss Johnston." asked a short 'Agrorgian' lad sporting shiny sub-ensign 'halfies' on his stiff starched epaulettes. Bless him for saving us from an international incident! Acey was in seventh heaven whenever anyone mentioned guns! Peri was content to sample all the appetizers and hors oeuv'res (Pronounced Orr Dervs for some strange reason!) when our charming hostess returned with an anti-grav trolley filled with delicacies for us. They were yummy!

"Who made these delightful goodies?" I asked and Sarge admitted that amongst her other virtues, Dan Vostock was a damned bloody good cook! Hmmn. I needed a chef for my ship and later on, when Allie and I were permanently quartered on 'Monshat', we'd need a permanent live in chef/cook. A barefoot chef? I could care less! If she cooked like this, she could cook in her birthday suit for all I gave a constitutional! Janey could keep Ranger Parker and both Grannies (Moses-Clampett and Rockabelle). I only wanted this gal! Nobody would give this kid any guff! Standing taller than a 'Mugghi' (Seven and a half feet) and being a knockout to boot who wore a uniform like a Terran Paris original frock and she could cook! I'd be the envy of every star ship commander in the entire fleet!

Sub-Ensign Laertes de Joliet, the 'Agrorgian' kid had left his charges studying weapons vidmanuals and stuffing themselves on the bridge. I grabbed the poor kid on his way back to the lifts.

"Have Ensign Vostock report to em in my ready room as soon as she's free. Don't let Colonel Huntley anywhere near her. Understand? (He nodded and saluted and almost started to cry! These two races must get quite emotional!) OK. Gimme a couple of minutes and then send her over. By the way, do you know her very well, Larry?" I said and he stood up proud and straight to his full height of a metre and a quarter.

"I should like to think so, mum! We are to be wedded as soon as I am promoted next year! Your pardon, mum! I tend to get excited when I speak of my Della! I will deliver your message, mum." he replied.

"Then the two of you will be assigned to the same posting? (He nodded) So a new relocation would be no problem for either of you? You're sure, son?" I demanded excitedly.

"None at all, mum. If you will please excuse me?" said Larry the subby.

"One more question if I may, son? What is your job exactly?" I asked, my heart in my mouth and both of my eharts beating like triphammers. He shrugged his shoulders and looked up at me.

"I am a steward for the new passengers you will soon be ferrying to their new homes, mum." explained the lad.

"Perfect! We will be needing a steward as well as a chef. Bring Della and yourself along to my ready room tout sweet, kid! The sooner, the better! Now scoot!" I said and he dashed off where I saw Della stoop down to pick him up like a child! I wasted no more time in getting to my ready room behind the bridge. The portal klaxon trilled and I called 'Come.'

"At ease. Please sit down. I'll get right to it, kids. After this mission, I am to be made Consul General for these new colonies on the new world. I will be headquartered on a small moon called 'Monshat' which is a satellite of 'Victorine' where the colonists will be settling.

"I need a chef, a cook and I can also use a waiter, a steward. Are you two interested? I can cut the red tape and have you both promoted to ensign first class. I have a preacher or two aboard and you can be married enroute. Of course, this will mean that you will be relocated a week's voyage from here. I hate to press but there just is no time left. I will need your decision before I leave this tour today because we lift off on a fact finding mission tomorrow night.

"If you are agreeable, I intend to leave you two behind on 'Monshat' at the conclusion of our mission. You will temporarily be in charge in my absence. You'll have a full staff to assist you and whatever else you require. Think it over and let me have your answer by 1500, three this afternoon. Now I simply must get to the 'A/C chamber' for our briefing. Dismissed." I said, saluting them. They retirned my salutes and when they left, they were beaming all over.

I made a vidcellphone comm relay to Willy who promised to rush the paperwork through and then he assured me that, come Hell or high water, Vostock and de Joliet would be ensigns first class by tomorrow morning! Then he asked me if Janey knew about the stunt I was pulling off? I said 'What do you think?' and hung up.

The briefing lasted until almost 1500 with lunch served by 'droids' at noon. I never before heard so much repeated boring crap in my entire 357 Terran years that I had been alive! I was still considered young in Gallifreyan terms, having only regenerated once! Janey, Peri and Acey kept dozing off and then they finally just went to sleep. I activated my PDO recorder and drank mug after mug of bitter java which palyed Hell with my intestines but kept me wide awake.

"In conclusion, let me say-" said Commander Edward James Kilkenny Bond XI, the current Interpol, Aquarian Galaxy Dicision leader. Then he yakked until a quarter to three when even the patient Vittorio Xavier Francis Galadriel, 'God' himself, had had more than enough!

"Thank you all, ladies and gentlemen indeed. Mr Popo will dismiss you in his own inimitable style and panache. Thank you all for coming and best of Gaelic luck on your missions. Those of you came from offworld today, there are skysleds, aircars and strato cruisers waiting to return you to your transports. Oh and would Colonels Huntley and Caldy as well as Ensigns Johnston and Brown remain behind for a moment or two? Mr Popo?" said the 'God of the 3WA' politely and Chief Poporo dismissed everyone else before leaving himself.

Uncle Vito smiled at us and pointed to the kids.

"Peri? Acey? Could you please come up here? Thank you. (The kids, quivering in their boots, obeyed) Thanks to a long pleading session last night with your CO, Colonel Huntley there, I am hereby promoting you to second lieutenants (jg). (He pinned on the gold/grey/white bars with a black slash through them which mean 'Acting First Lts'. He shook each kid by the hand and then gave each a kiss on her forehead.

"Commander Huntley? Front and centre. (Janey shrugged but obeyed him) I hereby promote you to an Acting Brigadier. Ah! My dear Romana. Come up here please, my child. I hereby promote you to full colonel status and make you an acting brigadier. (He kissed me and Janey on our foreheads and then he whispered to me while he pressed something into my gloved hands. I nodded) Take care now and come back to us safely, me dears. You are all dismissed so go celebrate. That's a direct order, kiddies. Bye." he said and then his orderly helped him to his feet and led the venerable old man back to his personal star cruiser.

I risked a quick look and I saw two sets of bright ensign first class insignia resting in my palms. Uncle Vito had whispered to me that Daniella and Laertes had come to him and asked his advice and had decided they would join me on 'Monshat' after he had assured them both that I was as sane as he was!

Not much left to tell except that Janey did say she would forgive me for swiping Danny and Larry from her- someday! When the two lovebirds arrived and agreed to accompany me, I had told them to pack and meet me at the flat we were using tomorrow no later than 1700 hours, five o'clock with their gear and luggage.

"Mum! We canna get married without a ring for poor Della! It's late and all the stores be shut! No! I'l no be a-using a replicated ring for my Della! We have agreed so we'll come as we promised, mum." said Larry. I'd already given them their new ranking insignia and advanced them each a thousand UCs.

"We can always get married when we come back someday, Lovey. It's not that bad, ya know?" said Daniella, putting on a brave face and trying not to cry. Suddenly Peri snapped her fingers and dove into her rucksack backpack.

"Here! I forget where exactly 'Hatter' found this thing but I'm sure he won' mind my giving it to you as a sorta wedding present, guys." said the Terran 'beach bunny', flourishing a ring with a huge 'girasol' as red as blood. I recognized it at once from Diana's descriptions. It was one of her 'Shadow Daddy's 'decoder' rings!

"Wear it in good health, my dear Daniella! The best of luck to you both! I shall watch o'er ye always!" boomed out a strange voice from every corner of the ship! Diana's papa approved of Peri's generosity it seemed. Larry took the huge ring and replaced it in its jewel box. He then pocketed the box and thanked everyone in sight as did his bride.

"Now get home and pack! Until tomorrow at five, OK?" said Janey. Then the four of us flew back home to our flat. Harold was waiting for us on the roof! How he had heard about the upcoming nuptials I'd no idea but he insisted on arranging Larry's bachelor party. Then we found out that Larry had vidded us and Harold had answered and volunteered his services a Larry's best man! When he told his sister, Barbie Doll had insisted on catering the affair. Harold needed my permission for he and his sibling to join my crew for the wedding and reception. Our vidphone trilled and Peri answered it. She listened and handed it to me.

"Take the laddie who wants to be best man and his sister too. You have both my permission and our blessings, child. Just make sure you are lifted off and on your way before 1900, 7 tomorrow evening. Kami bless you all. Galadriel out." I hung up and almost fainted. However, I did relay his messages and the happy couple at last went home to pack up their goodies.

"What were you planning to do here, start a bonfire for St Nicholas Day? The four of you are taking ALL that junk? Good thing you asked for a TARDIS and not just a space van! Well, are you ready to leave yet? Ace! Is it too much to ask that you dress before you get aboard? You as well, Peri? Picking up Ace's bad habits, eh? Where's Milady Huntley? Oh, there you are. Go back there and make sure those two kids of yours are decent! Aha. I knew my Romana would be ready when I got here. Come along kitties, doggies. Plenty of room in here. Hold on now and I'll dematerialize and move a few metres and then I'll rematerialize and- There! All of your junk's aboard! Whew!

"Peri and Janelle's luggage over there please and yours and Ace's over there, Poppet. The Leprechaun (#7 Doctor) is still trying to fix his 'chameleon circuit' so I volunteered to deliver your luggage to the 'Grazie' and 'Daedalus'. Hurry and sort that stuff out. I have to be back aboard the 'LA6' before 1830! If I'm late, my daughter (Allison Prydonia, my new Boss) will raise unholy Hell! Ready? First stop is 'Daedalus'. Then I'll just have time to drop your stuff off on 'Grazie', child. Do hurry, ladies!" said a grouchy and out of sorts 'Scarfy' (#4 Doctor) just as Janey emerged, zipping up her jacket.

I must admit that Peri and Acey looked very nice in their freshly starched and pressed uniforms. I guided Janey and Peri over towards their own pile of baggage while I dragged Acey over to stand beside ours. The poledriver pylon whooshed and a few minutes later Peri, Janey and their gear vanished! Another spin of the pylon and Acey and I were standing beside our mountain of luggage in our new quarters aboard 'Grazie'. I hoped that Peri and Janey were in their quarters aboard 'Daedalus'. Another whooshing and the blue police box vanished, presumably to reappear aboard Allie's flagship.

"OK, so far, so good. Acey? Let's get to the bridge. You'll have an entire week to unpack that stuff. Now, Ensign! That's an order." I snapped and Acey looked at me in astonishment. Hadn't this brat ever been given orders before? Well, she was damned well gonna obey mine, dammit! We jogged to the lifts and rode one up to Level Five, the command deck.

"Ten-Hutt! Commander on the bridge! Bridge crew all present and correct, mum!" said Legato Bluesummers, saluting me smartly.

"As you were. Any problems? Can we lift off yet?" I asked.

"No problems with this puppy, Commander. We're waiting on our last passenger, mum." replied Blue, which puzzled me.

"What passenger? We don't have any along for this trip, Blue." I said and I heard a throat clearing behind me.

"Afraid that would be me, Commander. Orders from the Territorial Sector Chief, mum. I am to accompany you in an advisory capacity. Janelle has Andy Gooley and Allie's got 'Mr Popo' on her flagship. My orders, Commander." said a sheepish Willy Gustav.

"Mum, 'Daedalus' and 'Angel 6' confirm that their advisors have boarded. Marshall Prydonia has lifted off and Commander Huntley is awaiting your orders, mum." said my new comm relay officer who was also my new exec, First Lt (jg) Rodan. I must check and see what clan she's from on Gallifrey. Following time lords and time ladies geneaological family trees is a real nightmare!

"Commander Huntley is awaiting your orders, Romy. What are they?" asked Roddy a second time. I debated a moment more.

"Have her 'cloak' and lift off. When we lift off, she's to drop back and shadow us on our starboard (right) side. I want comm relay chatter kept to a minimum. Send a coded signal to Marshall Prydonia when all of this has been done. Understood?" I commanded, stretching out my feet from my comfy command chair.

"Yes,m. It is done." said Rodan a few minutes later. I gave the order for all hands to strap in and brace for an immediate liftoff. Roddy confirmed that the 'Angel 6' was a few hundred kilometres Northwest of us and that Janey was 'treading water' on our starboard side.

"Then let's be off. Engage impulse engines. Have Engineering fire up the warp core. Blue, cruising speed is to be no more than 25 Warp until I say different. This is not a race, children. Nami? Are we on course for 'Vicky'?" I said in a matter of fact tone of voice which seemed to be amazing everyone!

"Roger that, Colonel. Arabella's picking up traffic on our starboard wing, mum. Must be Huntley's cruiser." called Nami from her nav room. Arabella L'Enfant was a new sub-ensign cadet trainee who was scanning officer for this shift.

Captain Harlock excused himself to set the guard mount and things began to settle down. I gave the order to unstrap and we all relaxed a mite.

"Johnston? Ensign Johnston? You have first watch for Deck Six with Lt Leila Sevateam. Should be a pretty quiet shift. There's nobody up there this run. Now, if you don't mind, Ensign? For this deck-" I drifted off nto a daydream listening to the always efficient space pirate captain who was my security chief.

"Tired, Commander? We're OK for now. Why not kip out for awhile? You've been going nonstop all week, kiddo. We can handle things up here. Oh yeah and our nre cook and waiter are waiting for you in your ready room, Romy." said Blue and I smiled my thanks. Then I walked back to my ready room and assigned Ranger Walker to Larry and his newlywed wife, Alex to Della. I instructed them to get them kitted out and assigned sleeping quarters. I had Harold and his friend, Harry Potter in with Larry while Harold's sisters Barbie Doll and Gwendolyn were sharing with the tall 'Aveurian' girl.

Then I sent for Nick Wolfwood. I wanted to be sure he was ordained and permitted to perform a wedding! He was as it turned out. I was overjoyed because our other two 'ministers', Alex of the Ice Roads Brigade and Chapel the Evergreen, Nick's mentor from Gunsmoke had been assigned to other duties back home.

"So the dwarf's best man is to be your parking dock guy, Harold and newlywed Alex Walker's gonna be the bride's maid of honour? You 3WA guys can sure pick 'em! An 8 foot bride and a pint-sized groom! Hey, I ain't knocking it, Romana. Who's giving away Daniella? Ranger Parker? Peri provided the ring and it belonged to Di's old man? How about the marriage license? Nah, didn't think anyone thought of that, kiddo. Good thing I did. Chapel rushed it through 'UG' and I understand that Mr Galadriel personally signed it. I'll hold onto it if ya don't mind. Last thing I want is a legal hassle while I'm hitching up the two of 'em. An 'Aveurian' and an 'Agrorgian'?

"Whoa! That means the bride has to be barefoot. Under Aveurian law, did ya know that everyone taking part in the ceremony including me will have to be barefoot as well? You're a bridesmaid and so's Acey and Peri, right? Well, I'm just telling ya that if anyone in that wedding party is wearing footgear, the nuptials won't be legal. Yuck! This tea's terrible! How can ya drink this pigswill, Romana? Gimme some java instead. That's more like it! What! You want this ceremony vidtaped and vidrelayed in real time over the signal waves? OK. You'll have to handle that stuff. I leave it to you, my dear, to break the news about no shoes or boots, socks or stockings during the rites to everyone involved. Where's the happy couple going for their honeymoon? You're kidding! They'll have to work? Oh, setting up HQ on 'Monshat', huh?

"Since that shouldn't be too much of a hassle what with Bulma's Daddy Brief providing the 'capsule buildings' and stuff, couldn't ya lend 'em a skysled and let them take a week off? Where? How about 'Sontarra'? It's close (125 'lightys') to 'Monshat' and 'Victorine' and within comm relay distance in case they're needed in a hurry. I talked to 'God' Galadriel and Willy Gustav and Andy Gooley and Don Poporo about it already. Even Chuck Garner's keen on the idea. Eh? They left it to you to make the final decision, Romy. After all, you're in charge of this mission, kiddo. Whoops! Gotta run. I gotta bone up on 'Aveurian' and 'Agrorgian' wedding customs. When?" said Nick Wolfwood.

"When are the nuptials being held, Nicky? The voyage only takes a solar week, you know?" I asked and he pondered a little.

"It's after midnight now so it's Saturday. If I really buckle down and cram all that wedding jazz and ditch the usual rehersals, I think we could shoot for a Sunday wedding. Say, just before lunch? 1100, 11 AM? That suit you OK?" replied Nicky.

"Great! The sooner, the better. Harold, Barb, Gwen and Harry are handling the catering for the reception. Let's use the 'A/C chamber' for the ceremony and the reception, OK? (I tapped out some notes on my PDO) I'll have the happy couple and their luggage and gifts transported to 'Monshat's surface. Roddy can use my new TARDIS for the run. I briefed her on what needs to be done and I'm sure I can persuade her to set things up for our new HQ. That'll give the kids more time to get ready for their honeymoon voyage to 'Sontarra'. Thanks a lot, Nicky. I really appreciate all the fuss you're going to for Della and Larry. I'll let you go now to prepare. Leave the other arrangements to me. 'Night." I said and Nicky drained his java and left.

Not to belabour the point but it was the only wedding I had ever attended where everyone was in their bare feet for the ceremony and that included the wedding pary, guests and even Reverend Nicholas D Wolfwood! Just before the happy couple were told by Nicky 'you may now kiss each other', he upended two glasses of 'Symellian Grog' over Daniella's head and little Laertes's head to 'seal the bargain' betwixt them.

Harold and Harry held up the little guy over their heads so that he and his new bride could 'bind the contract' with a kiss! Remember that he was barely a metre in height while she was well over two! Ranger CD Parker who had given her away insisted on dancing with Danny- on stilts no less!

Alex Walker and Leia Solo took Daniella aside to acquaint her with her duties as a newly married woman while Cordell Walker and Han Solo did likewise for Larry. I grabbed the tenth glass of champagne (the real stuff, not synthenol) before Rodan could get thoroughly plastered!

"Did you forget tat you're flying the newlyweds to 'Monshat', Roddy?" I asked and I steered the tipsy time lady through the java vending machine TARDIS and into my control room. Bulma Brief had used her Dad's 'capsules' and whipped up a couple of sofas, a few easy chairs, a java table and a few other odds and ends for the short jaunt (Only a few 'lightys') to the third moon of 'Victorine' for the kids' honeymoon.

"I want you back here before morning, Roddy so no side trips on the way back. Understand? Good. The co-ordinates are programmed in so all you need do is dematerialize, activate the motors, land and then rematerialize inside the great hall on 'Monshat'. Remember to close the inner and outer portals before you lift off or you'll become part of this galaxy. Here. I made you up a jug of java. You look like you need some black java before you leave. Sit down while I see what's keeping your passengers." I said, excusing myself.

"Now where are they?" I asked Nicky and he pointed to the ceiling.

"Packing for the trip, I guess. Alex and Cordy and Han and Leia went up with 'em. Did ya tell Roddy she can wear shoes again? In fact, now that they're hitched, everyone can. Roddy looked a lot like Jimmy Trivette did last week when we slipped him a Mickey Finn! Maybe I should go with her to 'Monshat'?" replied the 'Gunsmoke' gunfighting preacher. I nodded.

"Yeah. Maybe you'd better. Roddy's got a habit of not coming straight back home, especially when she's using someone else's TARDIS. Just make sure you two get back here before morning, OK?" I said.

"By your command, mum." he replied with a half-hearted salute, walking towards the java machine. I breathed a sigh of relief and sat down beside Mr Peabody who was extolling everyone with a tale of his hunting adventures on 'Xygon 8' where he captured a blue jacaronda beast all by himself! Fat chance, man! A blue jaca is well over ten metres in length and close to 1800 kilograms in weight! However, they were still quite beautiful and very sleek sort of like a Terran black panther.

"You kids packed yet? Now be sure and double check your stuff, Danny. When Walker and I went on our honeymoon, we forgot so much stuff that we had to stop twice enroute to whatever that moon was called. We did have a very nice week though. Almost made up for the fact that we'll never see good old Dallas ever again. Don't forget the bug sprays! We were almost eaten alive my those pesky 'meskkeeteez' until Walker got the netting up around us!" said Alex Cahill Walker to Daniella.

"Say Honey, how ya gonna work it when ya gets there? I mean, the groom usually carries the bride across the threshold but you're a mite too big for poor Laertes, ain't ya, Danny?" asked Leia Skywalker Organa Solo in what she hoped was a tactful manner.

"We saw an old vidfilm once where the bride carried the groom so that's how we are going to do it, Leia. I'd never expect Larry to lug my big old carcass around! He'd have a quadruple hernia! Do you think that Ranger Parker might give me the recipe for his famous Texas fire engine chili, Alex?" replied Daniella hopefully.

"Nope. Not a chance, kiddo but I will. He gave it to me when I first met Cordell. Walker loves the stuff and so do I. I'll put it in your PDO box for you, dear." said Alex.

"She's gonna do what, Jimmy! Give away my fire engine chili recipe! Not on yer sweet Nellie! Cordell!" yelled Ranger CD Parker angrily. He was causing such a ruckus we couldn't hear Mr Peabody's boring old tall tale about the blue jac, thank heavens! I excused myself and wandered over to see what was going on. It turned out that Ranger Trivette had been unconsciously eavesdropping and had overheard the last part of Alex's conversation with Danny.

"You told me that I could share it with family, CD. Remember? Well, Danny and larry are family too now, aren't they?" asked the former Dallas assistant DA. That shut up the old Ranger but good!

"Jimmy! Why didn't ya tell me Alex was giving it to Miz Danny? You always do seem to make a mountain out of a molehill, son!" grumbled Mr Parker while Cordell tried hard not to laugh. By this time, Rodan had shanghaied the Saiyaans and the demons to stow away the couples' luggage and her own. Nicky Wolfwood had only a single small suitcase to take along.

"Just in case." he whispered to me.

"Just in case of what, Your Reverence, sir?" snapped Roddy, pointing towards the open TARDIS portals. Goku smiled, Vegeta scowled and Bulma Brief told them both to get a move on already.

"Uh, just in case the TARDIS breaks down, Honey. In case we have to stay overnight on 'Monshat', my dear." he answered.

"A wise precaution, Nick. Anyone seen the groom?" I hastily intervened to avoid a flare-up between time lady and minister.

"I dunno, Romy. Three times we accidentally locked him in a trunk. Han! Seen anything of Larry?" replied Walker.

"He's trying to get a 'grape knee high' drink from the vending machine over there, Cordy." said Han Solo.

"Janelle? (Commander Huntley waved to me from across the room) Please tell Larry that my TARDIS isn't a drinks machine. Better get the two love birds aboard. Nick? Roddy? Time to split. Try and get yourselves back here before morning, OK? Take the demons and the Saiyaans along with you. You'll need porters at the other end to unload the stuff. Now where's our Danny?" I said and somehow all the junk got loaded aboard and, despite Nicky thinking he was a navvy, Rodan did a very smooth dematerialization and lift off.

I had just settled down to sleep around 0230 (Half past two in the morning) after I had effectively screened out Janey's snoring when the suite's portal klaxon sounded. I willed it to go away until morning but it was repeated again and again.

Finally, I pulled on my kimono and sleepily wandered to the door.

"Yeah? Whoozit at this bloody hour, darn it?" I mumbled into the vidmike. Of course, Winry Rockabelle and Ed Appledore had disconnected the video portion when they had stayed over last month and had never hooked it up again so I had no idea who was at the door.

"Me! Open up, Romana! Quick! Nicky's prepping the 'General Grant' for immediate liftoff! Will you please open this damned door or do I have to have the demons and Saiyaans break it down? This is bloody important, Romy!" howled Rodan's voice and she sounded scared to death! I hit the portal release panel and she stumbled inside followed by Dog Boy, Wolfie, Goku and Vegeta.

"Guess what we saw, Manny?" yelled Goku Son, helping himself to several doggie yummy biscuits. Now I was worried. These Saiyaans were not easily frightened but this time seemed different. InuYasha and Kouga were firing up the comm relay set on the java table and chattering away like magpies gone mad! Roddy had collapsed into the wing chair and was crying like a bairn. I looked at Vegeta Brief.

"We saw the 'Botany Bay' on 'Victorine', Romana. Khan's up to something again. Got any real food? Not those dog cookies that Kakkaroth's wolfing down. Where's the Commander at?" he asked and I pointed to the fridge.

"What did you do with Daniella and Laertes? You didn't leave them on 'Monshat', did you?" I demanded anxiously.

"No. Of course I didn't. We dropped them off at 'Kagura'. They're staying at that country club golf place. Mr Garner's getting the bills. Sorry Romy but I just couldn't see the kids missing their honeymoon. Thanks." said Rodan, accepting a cup of herbal tea while I awakened Janelle.

While Janey was dressing, I asked Roddy why Nick Wolfwood was 'prepping' a shuttlecraft.

"Fastest way to get back to 'Victorine', Romy. He's gonna 'cloak' and keep an eye on Khan and the 'Bay'. We put through a signal to the 'Mary Celeste' but she and the other flagship ('Lovely Angel 2') are outta range. That makes Huntley mission commander.

"Belay that, Rodan. Nobody's going anywhere without orders from HQ. Romy? Better get dressed. My ready room in 5 minutes. The lot of ya. Bring Gene, Han, Nami and the Green Baron with ya. Roddy? Wake up Sir Integra (Van Helsing) and try and get a signal out to Brig Jordan and the Boss. I'll need their go ahead to move on this. Better trill Garner too. Roddy? Did ya see any other crafts in the area?" asked Janey but the time lady shook her head.

"Nope. Just the 'Botany Bay', mum. Wonder why he landed on 'Vicky'?" replied Rodan.

"Maybe he's broke down, huh?" suggested InuYasha.

"Yeah and he's waiting for planetside assistance to come, right?" added Kouga helpfully. These two hadn't a clue, did they?

"I doubt it, boyos. Planetside Assistance isn't too keen on fixing stolen starships and working for pirates." I said dryly.

"The 'Grant's all 'prepped' and ready for liftoff, folks. Hear from Edie or the Boss yet? Garner? Thanks. I missed dinner tonight in all the excitement. Where are the pickles and the relish? Pig Squad get 'em all?" chortled Nick Wolfwood.

"Be silent! All of you! Khan is playing a most deadly game. I must speak to Chief Garner immediately." roared out a voice we all knew only too well!

END of Chapter 9. Chapter 10 'Pirates' Haven' or 'Khan Wants Heaven' coming soon.

Nope. I will not drop any hints. Why? 'Cause I'm tired of bein' left outta stuff 'cause I'm just a kid! Oh yeah, it's me. Rio, Rio DelCroix and I just got told that I had to go home with the 'Arthur' while everyone else gets to go fight Khan! OK! Maybe I am only 14 but dang it all! So were the Boss and Miss Donovan when they first joined the force! I know why I can't go! They needs a babysitter for the little kids is why! Oh, Happy Flag Day to all our Terran pals and see ya all again real soon- Rio.