A/N: Hello everyone! I hope you had a good Christmas and a happy New Year Thank :) you for everyone who is supporting this story :) and thank you for all your reviews, follows and favourites :D Over 250 followers, 170+ favourites :o and nearing the 100 review milestone, wow. Enjoy Chapter 10 ^^ please review and leave feedback when finished if you wish and have time :)
Disclaimer: The world of Harry Potter and the original storyline are not mine; they belong to J.K. Rowling.
Read and Review if you enjoy it please ^^ I'll try update soon.
Chapter 10: Crimson Jealousy
Every morning that week, Tonks waited for a reply from her mother and every morning nothing came in the post, much to her growing frustration each day. And every night when everyone was fast asleep, she would dig out the Black Memoirs and hope for answers, but like the moments following the first memory, all she got was silence, Morgana didn't sing to her, much to her increasing disappointment. 'Surprised I even care...'
The week had been almost completely uneventful, no random attacks or dark revelations popped up to liven up the monotonous school week, well... Apart from the sudden withdrawal of a student she didn't know who had her family murdered; Tonks felt a twinge of guilt that her false background and circumstances had become another's reality. Monday of that week also saw announcements were posted around the school stating that a school duelling tournament would start soon for years 5 and higher. Tonks was pleased to hear that had been Harry's doing after his lesson and chat with Dumbledore.
But between waiting to hear answers from the two Blacks and the workload the professors were giving them. Tonks found herself very busy and distracted that week, almost distant, she had kept her head low and had been unusually quiet.
Tonks didn't feel any different when she woke up Saturday morning, with a sigh and a murmur she stretched and kicked the duvet of her. The nightmares always left her in a depressed mood now first thing in the morning; she had considered going to see Madam Pomfrey and getting help with them. 'But how would I explain every night I'm either tortured by Bellatrix or hear her screams?'
She laid there for a few moments stretching and flexing her weariness away, a cold breeze nipped at her exposed body. She groaned as the cold air slowly engulfed her but she endured it as she stared up at the ceiling, it was a rare thing now for her to be able to enjoy a moment where she could be uncovered and free in the mornings, so the cold air was a fair price to pay for the luxury. Everyone had already left for breakfast so she didn't need to cover up to avoid making someone feel uncomfortable.
'I don't remember girls being so... Prudish?' When she was at Hogwarts, Tonks and the other girls she shared the dormitory with, regularly walked around there room in nothing but their bras and undies. 'But now? It's like its taboo... Hmm maybe it's a Gryffindor thing... Although the last person to see me half-dressed and not flee the room was also a Gryffindor... Harry.'
A smile crept up onto her lips; thinking of Harry always seemed to cure her depression in the mornings. Although she had to be careful not to dwell on him too much, or it would do more than cheer her up. 'Just a little longer...' She thought of his smile and the lips that accompanied it, his messy black hair that she wanted to run her hands through and absorbing emerald eyes she could get lost in. It wasn't till a moan escaped her lips did she become aware of where her hands had been lingering.
'Woah ok that's enough thinking.' With a blush she swung her legs of the bed and shook her head before pulling out her trunk and looking for something to wear. 'Hmm think I will go.' Harry was holding the try outs for the Gryffindor Quidditch team this morning, when he asked if she wanted to watch she had originally turned him down much to his disappointment. A small feeling of guilt shot through her as she remembered the sad look of rejection on his face, she wasn't sure why she did turn him down. But then she hadn't exactly been feeling herself 'I'll make it up to him today.'
'Now... What to wear?' Being the weekend, students could wear their own clothing around the castle and the grounds, except for the weekend following the first days back where they were still expected to wear robes, 'To break us in... Stupid rule.'
She casted a glance outside, it didn't look like a particularly warm day. With a frown she looked for something modest and warm, she pulled out a pair of skinny dark blue jeans, a white blouse and a tight black jacket. She got dressed quickly and slipped on some dark shoes then surveyed herself in the mirror, tight about summed up her appearance. Her clothing clung firmly to her body and heavily defined her curves, there was no mistaking the not so subtle outlines of her rear, hips and chest.
'Dressing to impress.' She thought with a smile, still feeling embarrassed and slightly aroused from her actions on the bed, she finished getting ready and headed down to breakfast.
The reaction she got from males and females alike when she entered the Great Hall told her that her choice of attire was indeed impressive. As she walked down the Gryffindor table, she caught a disapproving glare of McGonagall who was sitting at the staff table, shaking her head at Tonks. She couldn't help but notice the absence of the headmaster, Dumbledore had rarely attended meals recently and had been largely absent from the school's public eye. It didn't surprise her, his position as headmaster was nothing more than a front now, his full attention was firmly on the Order, Voldemort and his followers. 'At least I think it is... I've yet to hear anything further from him about the attack since we had the meeting... In this case, no news is bad news...'Too many uncertainties recently, too many mysteries bubbling away under the surface that only she was seeing. Tonks never believed in such a thing as karma but this felt close, she felt uneasy and was beginning to understand, how heavy a price she would pay for her deception and lust felt desires.
"Hey." She said softly as she took her seat by Hermione and directly opposite Harry. Both Harry's and Ron's jaws dropped open as Tonks straightened herself, unintentionally thrusting her chest out as she adjusted on the bench.
"Boys..." Hermione muttered to herself and sighed. "Morning Aimée. You look... Uncomfortable, are you sure those clothes fit you?"
Tonks cast Hermione a look who just smirked at her. "Whatever gives you that impression?" She replied with mock innocence.
"Oh no reason... But if I was you I'd skip breakfast, eat the slightest thing and you may burst wide open." Hermione said sarcastically although Tonks knew by now when Hermione was just teasing.
"Oh and we wouldn't want that... Would we?" She giggled softly then as if to prove a point she helped herself to some breakfast, causing Hermione to let out another sigh then giggle slightly. Tonks smiled warmly, the gloom that had been spreading throughout her mind quickly receded, Hermione's sly remarks and teasing always uplifted her spirits in a unique yet homely way, she sort of reminded Tonks of how Tonks was herself with friends in the Order.
"Oh leave her be Hermione. I think her outfit looks great." Harry casted her a small smile, she didn't fail to notice how his eyes would keep drifting to her chest. "Anyway... Good morning Aimée."
"I knew I could count on your support Harry." Tonks said with a wink and genuine glee, his bashfulness and not so discreet ogling fed her lust and desires which grew and blocked out any remaining unhappiness from her mind.
"I wouldn't say support was the right word." Hermione muttered quietly to herself, her remark causing Harry to blush.
Tonks coughed into her hand to cover up her amusement. "Don't you two look rather dashing." She said as she indicated to Harry's and Ron's Gryffindor Quidditch outfits. "Very..." She paused unable to think of the right word then lent close to Hermione. "Help me out here."
"Red." Hermione whispered back.
"Very red." Tonks said smiling at the two boys then seemed to realise after what Hermione had said. "Hey!" Hermione just sniggered away with the boys.
Tonks pouted and helped herself to a glass of orange juice; she could feel Harry's eyes burning into her. She smirked to herself as she looked up and caught his eye. Harry quickly averted his eyes as he once again blushed a crimson that matched his outfit. "So... What time do we go down to cheer you both on?" She asked.
Harry's eyes widened as he looked back. "You're coming? You changed your mind?" His voice sounded hopefully as he pulled quite an adorable face.
"I have, a bit of fresh air away from work will do me some good... Besides, I want to show you my support." She replied with a warm smile which he returned.
Hermione sighed next to her, 'Ugh what have I done now Hermione?' Tonks was tempted to ask out loud but decided to wait till they were alone.
"Well err... Actually we should start heading down soon, quite a few have signed up this year, so we got a lot to do." Harry sighed and grabbed another bit of toast. "May even take all morning, I don't remember the house team being so popular."
"For such a bright wizard Harry, you can be incredibly slow and naive at times." Hermione's said impatiently.
The other three looked at Hermione in bewilderment at her seemingly random comment. "Oh come on." She continued to say in frustration. "It's you that's popular Harry not Quidditch, after everything that's happened, you've never been more interesting and... Appealing to girls." Hermione casted a fleeting glare at Tonks before looking back in frustration at Harry.
Harry who's cheek had only just started to dim, flared back to their crimson state while Ron chocked on his breakfast, Tonks folded her arms uncomfortably as a pang of jealously shot through her. 'Great... Competition... Although that shouldn't come as a shock I mean... Look at him.'
"I... Err... Really?" He stuttered out and shifted uneasily on his seat, avoiding Tonks's stare as she took the time to slowly study everything about him.
Hermione shook her head and started to elaborate on why Harry would be attracting so much attention down from the opposite sex and how they might try to go about getting his attention. 'Their only after him for his fame... I'll be damned if a fame seeking parasite tries to charm her way in.' Tonks thought and snorted, feeling gradually more jealous as her mind dwelled on the idea. She couldn't help but notice how Harry wouldn't meet her gaze right now. 'Could Harry also think that about me? That I'm only around because he's famous and interesting? Sounds better than the truth... Or part of the truth anyway.'She hadn't really considered this, was this the reason for Hermione's open hostility at times?
A short time later the post arrived pulling Tonks away from her new line of thought. Much to her annoyance no reply to her letter came, 'She got it, I'm sure she did...' The owl she had sent had returned to her the following night, unharmed, un-tampered and for whatever reason returned empty handed. Tonks couldn't work out the reason for the lack of a response and was growing increasingly paranoid, what about she wasn't sure... But the Black silence was driving her insane. A thud snapped her mind back to reality when a new potions book for Harry landed in front of them which he then swapped the covers with the half-blood prince's copy. As well as a copy of the Daily Prophet which Hermione scanned through, she mentioned the articles about Dementor attacks and a Death Eater arrest. Nothing about last weekend's attack had made the news, or anything about Death Eater activity nearby. 'It seems Bellatrix or whoever it was doesn't want anyone knowing anything about it, be it friend or foe.'
After swapping the covers and helping himself to more toast, Harry decided it was time to go and stood up, Ron groaned and stood up after his friend, followed by Hermione and Tonks.
They left the hall together with the boys mostly talking about Quidditch, who were joined by a few other hopeful applicants as they made their way down to the Quidditch pitch.
Tonks and Hermione parted from the company of the boys and made their way up the stands when they arrived at the Quidditch pitch. Tonks frowned when she saw the larger than normal crowd that had started to gather, 'Some of them aren't even from Gryffindor!' she sighed, Hermione was right so it seemed as they made their way past a group of giggling girls. A lot of those gathered had all come to swoon over Harry rather than come for the Quidditch. 'My Job, not yours…'
They found a bench high up that gave a good view of both ends of the pitch; they tried to put a good distance between them and the nearest group of giggling girls which proved difficult as more joined, Tonks found herself continuously scowling as each girl who giggled.
"I don't know what you're throwing them such looks." Hermione finally said a short while after they had sat down, breaking the silence. "There here for the same reason you are… Unless you're feeling jealous and threatened."
Tonks snorted, "I very much doubt I am here for the same reasons as them." Tonks paused and frowned at her. "And I'm not jealous." 'Liar.'
"Oh? Then why are you here?" Hermione's voice was flat and without emotion. "You need to stop playing with him; there are plenty of… girls, who'd love to be in your position."
'My Position?' Tonks blinked in confusion as she stared at the brunette. "What exactly do you mean, playing with him?"
"Playing with his emotions… One minute you're all over him and by his side… And then the next you're distant and quiet." Hermione's tone reminded flat but Tonks could see the anger in her eyes.
Tonks looked away to consider her words and what she'd say in reply, she watched as Harry gave instructions to groups of candidates, getting them up in the air to fly around the pitch. She let out a long sigh and shook her head. "It's not like that…"
"Then what is it like? Because it seems to me that you got a taste of what it's like to be close to Harry Potter last weekend and let it scare you off." Hermione's face softened slightly "Which… I can understand I guess after what you've come to England to escape… But if you're going to let him down, then just do it… Don't keep letting him get his hopes up, decide one way or another…"
Tonks met her gaze and smiled softly, which Hermione frowned at. "You care for him, I know you're just being protective and looking out for him… But you've got it all wrong… I well… Erm…" Tonks blushed and got tongue tied.
"Well what?" Hermione asked impatiently as she folded her arms.
Tonks sighed, "I'm sure there's a few days every month where you aren't the best company around guys either…" Tonks flinched at having to disclose such personal information with Hermione, it wasn't a total lie. It had been her... time around the start of the week, but it never usually got to her, but with the added stress, memories and nightmares, it could of all piled just up on her.
Hermione blinked and grew very flustered quickly. "Oh…" Was all Hermione could muster out, clearly as uncomfortable talking about the subject with Tonks as she was with Hermione. "If you... Hmm... That is to say, I don't know how they do things for girls our age at Beauxbaton's... But I hear Madam Pomfrey can supply a potion for those that... are affected more than others..."
Tonks flinched again. 'I can't believe I'm having this conversation with a girl 5 or so years younger than me...' She gave a small nod to acknowledge Hermione but pressed her lips tightly together, not wanting the subject to continue. Both witches silently agreed that the topic was over and shuffled on the bench as they looked out to the pitch.
They sat in silence for several moments as they watched the try-outs for Chasers which broke the awkward tension between the girls as they gossiped, giggled and scowled at some of the applicants, some appeared to have never rode a broom before, some just pestered Harry about subjects they couldn't hear from the stands but they could guess what they would have been. More than a handful of girls had applied and mostly were just there to flirt, ogle and giggle.
Harry was clearly growing frustrated down on the pitch as he sent of whole groups that had no interest of being there, Tonks groaned as the groups decided to come sit, giggle and gossip in the stands rather than leave.
"It's not just that…" Tonks said out of the blue, not turning to look at Hermione as she watched Ginny fly around the pitch for the position of chaser. "I understand that being close to Harry, would involve certain… Dangers." Tonks paused as she continued to think over her answer. "I have no issue with that, I don't scare easily… It's just… I don't feel good enough for him; he could do so much better."
She sighed again and finally looked at Hermione who looked quite taken aback. "What? Aimée… As much as it pains me to admit… You are very attractive and smart. And as far as I've seen… You also don't lust after his fame."
'Not quite… I'm not here for his fame, I'm here because of his fame, because of who he is... And of course because I like him...' Tonks forced a smile. "Coming from you Hermione that means a lot… But… Ok, yeah… I like him but… I don't think he likes me…" Tonks carefully worded her concerns, trying to not raise suspicion to herself while attempting to get real answers. "Or at least I'm not sure if he likes me for me and not just because I'm… Very attractive."
That had been another thought that had plagued her during the dull events of the previous school week. So much of what she was here was a lie, apart from how she felt about Harry… but she didn't want how he felt for her to become a lie too. 'Another price I have to pay for doing this…'
To her surprise, Hermione just laughed. Tonks gawked at her in confusion and raised an eyebrow prompting her to explain what she found so funny. "Sorry I don't mean to laugh, it's just… You remind me of how I felt and my insecurities about Ron… I used to think and feel things similar things. But you have two advantages over what I went through, one, Harry is a bit more open about his feelings then Ron and two, you have me to help."
Tonks couldn't help but smirk. "That hardly inspires confidence in me."
It was Hermione's turn to snort and smirk. "Believe me, after all I went through to get with Ron... Matchmaking you and Harry will be a piece of cake."
Tonks just shook her head and smiled, she was tempted to argue that she didn't need help when it came to boys, but instead she let it slid as she was too pleased with Hermione acceptance and her gesture, even if it wasn't needed.
They continued to watch the chaser try-outs which lasted over 2 hours, it was the beaters turn next and during this time Tonks and Hermione would gossip about a wide range of topics but more often than not the conversation would find its way either back to Harry or school work. All the while giggling girls filled the silences as they watched Harry fly about and give orders to the applicants, Tonks would cast the occasional glare and scowl at them but mostly ignored them and blocked them from her mind. The sound of an annoyed and obnoxious male sitting not far from them pierced her ears as he spoke cruel words about Ron and Ginny to his companions.
Hermione tensed next to her and gritted her teeth, her eyes shooting daggers at her fellow Gryffindor but kept quiet. Tonks took a few seconds to study the owner of the voice out of the corner of her eye, the voice belonged to a large and athletic looking seventh year that she had seen a couple times around the common room but didn't know his name. He too was wearing a Gryffindor Quidditch try out outfit and since she had yet to see him on the field he could only be trying out for the last position left, Keeper.
Sure enough some time later it was time for the Keeper try-outs and the loud mouth Gryffindor headed down to the pitch where he stood beside a nervous Ron. As the obnoxious boy fly up to the rings, Tonks saw the tip of a wand out of the corner of her eye, turning her gaze to Hermione she watched as the brunette casted a Confundus Charm at the Keeper. Tonks raised her eyebrows at Hermione, quizzing her, but Hermione just rolled her eyes. 'How devious.' She thought and laughed out louder then she intended, causing Hermione to blush.
Under the effects of the Confundus Charm, Ron's competition stood no chance and left the field in a fury, demanding a second chance and taking out his failure by blaming Ginny not trying. But Harry stood his ground and sent him from the pitch so Ron could take his turn. The two girls watched on and cheered as Ron saved each shot, albeit abit clumsily at times and secured his place on the team.
Both Tonks and Hermione quickly made their way down from the stands, pushing past Harry's giggling fan club as they made their way onto the field and congratulated the boys and the rest of the team. Hermione threw her arms around Ron and gave him a peck on the cheek as she praised him while he beamed with confidence and glory, smugly boasting over his victory.
Tonks approached Harry and resisted the urge to hug him also as they smiled at each other. "Well those were some… Entertaining try-outs… You picked well." Tonks said with a warm smile as she casted a glance at the new team that had started to leave the pitch, leaving the four of them alone in the centre.
"Yeah… That was abit more chaotic then I was expecting… Hermione was right as always too it seems." Much to Tonks approval, Harry frowned deeply at the last comment as he looked at the nearest group of 'fans' who were purposely taking their time departing the stands.
Tonks snorted and rolled her eyes. "It appears so…"
With a sigh from Harry he beckoned to Ron and Hermione and suggested they make their way to Hagrid's, Tonks and Harry trailed behind the other couple as they started to head of the pitch and up the trailing path that weaved its way through the earth away from the pitch and to the rest of the grounds. A group of girls not too far in head of them kept throwing looks back behind them and giggling every time they met Harry's eye.
With a frown Tonks paused in her tracks, shaking her head she turned and slowly moved of the dirt path and under the shade of a nearby tree. Noticing that Tonks had fallen behind, Harry stopped and called over to Ron and Hermione. "We'll meet you at Hagrid's." He said with a smile.
Hermione smiled and caught Tonks eye, the girls exchanged a sly grin and the brunette nodded. Dragging a confused Ron along with her as Harry turned from his friends and headed over to Tonks who was gazing of into the distance, her gaze falling over the stadium and the land beyond. "Aimée? Is something wrong?" He asked as he approached her.
"Hmm?" She held her tongue as she watched Harry draw closer from the corner of her eye. "No. I was just admiring the view for a second."
"The view?" Harry stood behind her, tearing his gaze from her he joined Tonks taking in the view. "It is beautiful. One of many spots littered around Hogwarts that show just how magical and beautiful the world can be." Harry looked back at Tonks and smiled warmly.
"How very romantic of you." Tonks said with a small giggle. "I suppose someone as enticing and romantic as you knows all the best spots? Perhaps you'll show me a few more…" The faint sound of girls giggling in the background snapped her head to the group that had been ahead of them earlier and they seemed to have stopped also further up the path. 'Keeping Harry in their sights…'
"Perhaps a few that are more… secluded…" Tonks went to say as she scowled in their direction. She paused then looked at him with a grin. "Still… You can't blame them. Their only human, how can they resist admiring and standing in awe of you?" Tonks cocked her head to the side and tucked a stay strand of hair behind her ear, a lone finger coming to rest on her chin as she pretended to ponder.
Blushing slightly Harry ran a hand through his hair and cough slightly before chuckling softly. "I guess I can't blame them, after all… I know how they feel. I feel the same when I'm in your presence."
It was Tonks turn to turn a scarlet that matched Harry's kit, frowning she hit him playfully on the arm. "Don't tease me like that!"
Laughing Harry rubbed his arm. "I wasn't teasing." He said with a smirk and stared at her with his large warm lust filled orbs.
"Is that so?" She said in a low and seductive tone as she began to circle behind Harry slowly, playfully and teasingly as she moved to the other side of him, fully aware of the burning jealous gazes from the groups of girls on her which brought her a sense of smug satisfaction. "And how does it feel to be in my presence right now then?" She asked as she edged closer to him.
Meeting her gaze Harry gulped down hard. "Intoxicating..." He whispered softly as Tonks finished closing the gap between them until barely a few inches separated them.
From this distance Tonks could feel his heated breath against her skin, the breezes increased in frequency as Harry's chest rose faster. 'This is it…' She thought with glee as one of her hands came up and rested gently on his chest, her fingers clenching at the fabric and pulled him, encouraging him closer. Harry responded in kind with one of his own hands moving up and cupping her cheek softly. Instinctively Tonks closed her eyes and her head slowly lent forward, she could hear the sound of Harry breathing grow louder and louder as she felt a heated breeze pass over her lips.
"Miss Petit!" A stern voice called out and taking Tonks completely unaware, caught by surprise and thrown off guard her head shot past Harry's, missing him. 'No way… Great timing…'
Pulling back and looking around as she straightened herself, Tonks saw Professor McGonagall heading towards them from up the path. Both Tonks and Harry were blushing furiously as they innocently and slyly moved apart, not meeting each other's gaze. Tonks fixed her eyes on the approaching Professor while Harry had removed his glasses and seemingly pretended to give them a clean.
"Pro… Professor McGonagall?" She asked in a embarrassed tone, trying to hide her annoyance at being disturbed at that exact moment.
McGonagall ignored Tonks at first as she stood before them and looked at Harry. "Potter, I hear the try-outs went well and that we have a suitable team." If McGonagall was annoyed at what she had caught them doing 'Or about to do…' She hid her annoyance well and kept her tone calm as she addressed Harry.
"Yes Professor. It took longer than expected but I've assembled a good team, we should have a good chance at the cup this year." Harry shifted uncomfortably, trying to sound positive about the change of subject and directing attention away from their embarrassment. 'Surely you didn't come here just to interrupt us and talk about Quidditch McGonagall…' Tonks thought to herself as she resisted the urge to frown.
"I look forward to seeing if your optimism holds true." McGonagall said calmly and cracked a small smile before turning her attention onto Tonks. "Miss Petit, could you come with me please. I hope you don't mind if I borrow your friend Potter, Miss Petit and I need to discuss family matters."
Tonks eyes widened as she stared at the older witch, 'Family matter? Has my mum got in contact? Or… Has something happened to my parents…' Harry glanced at his companion with a concerned look on his face. "Of course not Professor."
"Has something happened? Is my mother ok?" Tonks busted out then gulped hard, before she could ask any more questions McGonagall stopped her with a raise of her hand.
"Nothing has happened, your mother is safe. But I do need to discuss a matter with you in private."
Tonks sighed with relief and nodded slowly. "Ok…" She muttered out softly then turned to face Harry. "I need to go… But I'll catch you up later."
"Sure, I hope everything is ok."
Giving him a small smile, she turned and started to walk with the Professor. When McGonagall had started on her way, Tonks stopped and looked over her shoulder at Harry. "Perhaps we can continue this… conversation later?" Her voice was just loud enough for Harry to hear.
"I look forward to it." Harry replied and smiled warmly at her. Tonks nodded and gave a little devious grin and a wink before turning back and hurrying up the path to the Professor.
The two witches didn't talk on the way to McGonagall's office, Tonks's mind was divided between thinking about what's to come and events just past. 'I was so close… Curse my luck…' Sighing deeply to herself she hurried close behind the older witch and entered her office. McGonagall placed the same charms on the door and her room as she had done in last week's meeting before walking over to her desk.
Tonks regarded her carefully, trying to work out what was going on then decided to make the first move. "What's going on McGonagall?"
"You tell me Nymphadora…" The Professor turned to look at Tonks as she spoke in a stern voice, Tonks flinched at the use of her name. "You sent a letter to your mother last week, correct?"
'Oh, so this is what this is all about?... Wait a minute… My mother told McGonagall or the Order but didn't reply to me?' Tonks scowled in frustration and nodded stiffly. "Yes, I need to talk to her about something."
"I know you're meant to be undercover, but there's no need to act a fool." She said sharply and raised her hand again to cut of Tonks who had been about to protest. "What if that had been intercepted? Or traced? You're cover would have been blown."
"There was nothing in that letter that could have been used against anyone! And no one has reason to trace my owls!" Her tone slightly rose as Tonks defended herself but a nagging suspicion haunted the back of her mind. 'Not entirely true… If Bellatrix does suspect something is up with me… And if she traced the owl…' Tonks sighed and shook her head. ' No… She has no reason to suspect me, I think…'
"That's beside the point Tonks." McGonagall said with a sigh. "The risk is too great… In future if you do need to get a message out to your mother or anyone else in the outside world. You come to me and we'll arrange something."
"Right…" Tonks didn't see the point in arguing, McGonagall was right in a way, although she wasn't sure how she would pass a message on if she needed to talk about the Black Memoirs.
"Now that is out of the way, I do have another reason for bringing you here other than for scolding you… Although seeing you display on the ground perhaps we need to discuss something else also." McGonagall frowned as a disappointed gaze burned into Tonks, causing her to blush slightly and shift uncomfortably.
"A reply from my mother?" Tonks asked, hoping the change of subject would direct attention away from the issue the older witch was hinting at.
"In a way." McGonagall paused as she walked over to the fireplace. "We've opened a direct link from here to the fireplace at your mother's."
Tonks's eyes widened in shock, that was more than she had hoped for. "Really?"
"Yes, really. We can't have you distracted while you are on your assignment… So if talking to your mother helps put aside matters, then that is what you should do." Tonks was sure she saw McGonagall crack a small smile as she spoke in a softer tone.
"Thank you McGonagall." Tonks smiled and headed over to the fireplace.
"You don't have too long, but I hope you can sort out any matters you might have." Tonks nodded at McGonagall who headed over to her desk and took a seat. Acknowledging that the conversation was over, Tonks stepped into the fireplace and spoke her destination before vanishing in a bright green flame.
Moments later the fireplace roared into life at the Tonks residence and out stepped Tonks from the blazing emerald fire into the family living room. 'Home sweet home.' She thought with a smile as she dusted herself of and surveyed the room, no one was here to greet here although most likely her mother wouldn't of known what time she would have arrived. While Tonks waited she took in the scene of her childhood home, it rarely changed over the years, the same cream sofa and armchairs, the same pine coffee table and mahogany grandfather clock, and they were in the same place now as they were in her earliest childhood memories.
A large new TV sitting upon the old wooden stand sat at the head of the room, for a magical family the home was astonishingly close to that of a typical muggle household. It had been largely for the benefit of making her father's family feel more at ease when they visited but Tonks also believed it was for her mother's sake, to have a home that was the total opposite of the one she grew up in. She walked around the room, picking up a non-moving picture of her and her parents which had been taken just before she had first set of too Hogwarts, other pictures of them and her father's family lined the walls and surface tops along with china ornaments.
One thing although was out of place, a small old teddy bear sat in the middle of pictures of her as a child, 'Mum…' Sighing to herself she put the picture down and picked up the old teddy carefully, the old stuffed animal had grown fragile over the years. "Hello Bells." Tonks said softly as she tapped the brass bells that hung around its neck, she couldn't help but smile warmly at it. This teddy had been with her since the very beginning since she was a baby; it had always been her favourite growing up, even now… Although perhaps now not as a toy, but as something that held a lot of sentimental value. This old piece of her childhood, it had given her so much comfort growing up, holding it seemed to almost bring her peace of mind, even now she felt relax and content in it's presence.
And as if to make her visit more homely, she accidently knocked one of the ornaments to the floor, causing it to smash into tiny pieces when it hit the floor. 'Some things never change…' She put the old teddy down as she heard footsteps hurrying down the stairs, turning slowly on the spot she smiled warmly as she regarded her mother. "Who are you? And what are you doing in my house?" Her mother asked cautiously from the bottom of the steps, her hand slipped into a pocket and seemed to grab hold of something.
"Huh?" Confused for a second, Tonks caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and smiled. "Don't' you recognize me mum? I haven't been gone that long." With a grin she changed her appearance to one her mother would be more familiar with.
"Nymphadora!" Her mother yelled out in delight and hurried over to her daughter, embracing her in a large warm reunion hug.
"Wotcher mum." She squeaked out from under the crushing embrace and laughed. "I thought you would have been expecting me?"
"Minerva never said what day you'd arrive, just that she would arrange something soon." Andromeda finally let go of her daughter as she surveyed her. "And I wasn't expecting that look from you, was almost like looking at a younger version of my little sister."
Tonks snorted and frowned. "I wish people would stop saying that…" She grumbled out.
Andromeda smiled and placed a hand on Tonks shoulder as she began to lead her out of the room and into the kitchen. "Come, I'll put the kettle on. Plus I bought your favourite cakes ready for your visit."
"Mum… I'm not a child anymore." Tonks pouted.
"Oh… In that case I guess I'll just chuck them out then." Her mother said, peering out of the corner of her eye and giving her daughter a small grin as she put the kettle on.
"No! I mean… No need to let them go to waste." She protested weakly as she took a seat at the kitchen table. Her mother laughed away and they spent the next half hour talking about school, her dad and his work, what her mother got up to and other little and happy things. Both mother and daughter enjoying their reunion while drinking tea and eating cakes before bringing up the reason why Tonks was here today.
"Your letter had me worried…" Andromeda began to say. "But I couldn't reply to you, not right away. I wasn't sure if I could… So I approached Minerva and she said she'd sort it."
Tonks sighed and nodded. "It's ok… I understand."
Silence fell for a few moments while both pondered what to say next, Tonks wasn't sure anymore if it was such a good idea to bring up this subject now. 'What does it matter? It changes nothing.' But curiosity continued to get the better of her; she had to know one way or the other.
"I'm guessing McGonagall told you about the attack?" Tonks asked slowly and when her mother nodded silently she sighed and pressed on, or at least she hoped she would press… If she got tongue tied now then this conversation would prove difficult. "I found something at the scene, something I couldn't share… I would have brought it with me if I had known I was coming… Do you remember something called the Black Memoirs?"
Her mother's face drained of all colour which was answer enough, she knew of it. "Yes… Wait… You… Found that? At the scene?" Andromeda asked in bewilderment and Tonks nodded once. "So you must of… Imprinted then?" Tonks nodded again. "I see… That explains why your letter was so vague then…"
Tonks bit her lip and looked down at the table and took a deep breath before meeting her mother's eyes. "I saw things… Heard things… Felt things…" Tonks felt herself choking up as the memory flared up inside her, the raw emotions once again striking at her heart.
"What did you see?" Her mother asked her quietly, her voice barely a whisper.
"You, Narcissa… Bellatrix… As teenagers, attending some pure blood ball… Being… Manhandled by Rodolphus Lestrange…" Tonks paused as she fought back tears of anger, hate and despair, from the way her mother flinched Tonks guessed she knew just exactly what memory Tonks had seen. "You and Narcissa crying in bed… While Bellatrix screamed all night long…"
Tonks had kept her summary of what she had seen short, not really wanting to admit out loud the events that had once taken place. Her mother sat silent for a few moments, the same pained look was now across her face that she had had that night long ago. "You know what night I mean… Don't you?" Tonks asked quietly, she already knew the answer but she had to hear her mother confirm it, even if it meant eliminating the flicker of hope that she had been clinging to, that none of it was real and it was all a lie.
Andromeda nodded once. "Yes… I'll never forget that day… I can't even say it was the worst day of my life… There are many days back then that could be branded as such…"
Tonks toyed with the china cup before her, turning it around between her fingers as she stared down at the table, not wanting to see the anguish in her mother's eyes. "You never talk about your childhood… How old were you then?"
"15…" Andromeda sighed and went on to elaborate. "I was in my fifth year at Hogwarts, Cissy was 13 and in her third year… And Bella… Bella was 15 and in her sixth year… We were home for the winter holidays, you would of never of guessed it but that ball took place on Christmas Eve."
Shaking her head Andromeda stood up and Tonks watched her intently as her mother took her cup over to the sink and rinsed it under the tap, not looking back at Tonks to meet her gaze as she spoke. "The Black Ball… The social event of the year for all pure blood families, or so it used it be... That particular one was set up for the sole purpose of finding me a suitor, the year before had been Bella's turn so I knew what to expect…"
Tonks had figured that much from what she had saw, hordes of pure blood bachelors swarming her every move. She also didn't fail to notice how her mother was using pet names for her sisters, in an almost affectionate way. 'How can you speak of them… Of her… with such… love?' She shook that thought from her head; of course her mother would remember them fondly that night. "But… You had already met dad by then?"
"Yes… Ted and I were already secretly dating and in love by then… And even if we hadn't of been… I could never have been interested in any of those guys there… Could never have been with someone I didn't love…" Her mother sighed and took a seat back at the table, her arms supporting her chin as she peered up and looked outside the kitchen window.
"And… Bellatrix knew? She knew that you was seeing dad? She knew he was a muggle born?" The idea that Bellatrix knew still shocked her beyond disbelief, especially after the way her family threated Andromeda after she had married her dad.
"Yes… She knew from the start…" Tonks started to grow frustrated as her mother still refused to meet her gaze as she spoke. "As you most likely saw… She protected me that night… Not allowing me to fall victim to a suitor, allowing me to remain physically and mentally faithful to Ted."
"Then why! Why did she betray you in the end? Why did she stab you in the back and cast you aside if she knew all along?!" Tonks was unable to stop the anger rising in her voice as she clenched her fists, her body growing tense. It was one of many confusing questions that had gone through her head since she saw that memory, Tonks had known for a long time how her mother had been disowned but that hadn't been till her last year at Hogwarts… And yet Bellatrix knew a good two years before hand, before her mother had been disowned and kept her sister's secret. 'Why?'
"Betray me? No… Far from it… She…" Andromeda paused for a second and let out a deep sigh. "She saved me."
Her mother's words took her aback, a blank confused expression fell upon Tonks's face. "Saved you? What do you mean, 'saved you'?"
Silence fell again and this time Andromeda turned and met her daughter's gaze. "When… My family found out… They were furious… All hell was about to break loose… My father wanted to kill me… And he would of done, believe me he would have done… But Bellatrix intervened…" Andromeda's eyes began to swell up and the tears slowly started to trickle down her cheek. "She hit me… Hard… Something she had never done before…" Her hand came up and softly stroked her left cheek with the tips of her fingers, as if tracing a long since gone mark, reminding herself as she spoke.
"The words that had come out of her mouth… They cut me deep… She convinced my father that 'blood traitor scum' like me wasn't worth the hassle, and that me and my choices weren't even worth acknowledging…" Andromeda paused to take a deep breath and took a second to wipe her eyes. "So they disowned me instead… Bellatrix chucked me out in the pouring rain, leaving me with only what I was wearing… And my life. It was an act, I knew it was… But it hurt… And I don't think Bella ever forgave herself for it, even although she saved my life." The tears were now streaming down her face, she wiped them away again with her fingers but her efforts were in vain as fresh tears replaced the old.
Tonks too was unable to hold back the tide of emotions as her own tears fell listening to her mother's story, caught half way between hate and gratitude for her aunt. On the one hand she had broken her mother's heart, even if it had been just for show… And on the other hand she had saved her mother's life. The fires of hate burned deep inside her, she had always been told that her parents had run away together. Not that she had been literally cast out and abused, by her aunt, her mother's own sister who was apparently meant to care back then. "How can you be sure it was an act? Considering what an evil bitch she is... Perhaps she meant it… If she cared, if she loved you then she would have stood by you."
"Don't say that about her!" Her mother snapped at her unexpectedly. "You have no idea what it was like in that house, you only saw one day, one night among hundreds, thousands even… You have no idea how much Bella sacrificed to keep me and Cissy safe and alive! Those screams, they happened nearly every night!" Tonks flinched as the sound of those screams played over again in her mind, part of her felt sorry for her aunt. But she pushed aside the feelings of pity and gratitude, focusing on her anger, her hate as she listened to her mother stand by Bellatrix. "Whenever something happened, whenever me or Cissy displeased our father, our family… Bella would make sure we avoided punishment by trumping our actions with her own. She sacrificed her happiness, her entire childhood, to ensure me and Cissy had a somewhat bearable one... "
"She sacrificed everything… Even the love of her life… So don't you sit there imply my sister didn't care! Because all she ever did was care for us, no matter the cost, no matter the sacrifice. She loved us, and I loved her and Cissy… And I still do." Andromeda yelled out and took long deep breaths after she finished ranting in an attempt to calm herself. "No matter how much she would have wanted to come with me, to stand by me that day, she couldn't off. Cissy was still too young and needed looking after, and even if we had all left then… We would have spent our lives running… Bella knew that the only way to protect us, to protect me, was to stay behind…"
Tonks could feel the anger boiling up inside her as she jumped up in her chair, knocking her empty cup to the floor in the process; she felt a shift inside her as her hair grew in length, draping strands of furious crimson hair over her shoulders. "How can you sit there and defend her?! She's a monster! Whatever she may have been, that person is long gone! If she even existed!"
"Because I choose to remember her as Bellatrix Black, not Lestrange." Despite Tonks losing her temper, her mother refrained from rising to it and stayed seated while keeping her tone calm.
"And there's a difference?!" She snapped back sharply, unable to neither believe nor understand why her mother was somewhat defending her deranged aunt.
"To me, yes."
"She killed Sirius!" Fresh tears of fury and hate began to swirl about and slide down Tonks face, hoping that reminding her mother of the death of her cousin would snap her out of whatever cloud her head was stuck in.
Andromeda sighed and stood up, moving towards Tonks in an attempt to calm and comfort her. "I know…" She whispered softly and reached out to her daughter, but Tonks shrugged her off.
"And yet you're defending her? Loving her instead of hating her… After everything she's done…" Tonks paused and shook her head, this was going nowhere pretty and she didn't want to hear anymore 'Pro-Bellatrix' from her mother. "Ugh I'm not doing this… I got to get back anyway."
Turning on the spot Tonks made her way back to the living room, her mother following behind her, calling out to her, trying to reason with her fuming offspring. "Nymphadora…"
"Don't…" She stopped at the fireplace and looked over her shoulder. "I don't want to hear another word."
Her mother sighed deeply and looked away as she spoke. "You know…" Her mother paused as she slowly walked over to the dressed, kneeling down she picked up the remains of the ornament Tonks had broken earlier. "You hate her so much and yet… You're so much like her… In more ways than you know…"
Tonks eyes widened and her mouth dropped open but no words flowed out, snapped her mouth shut she pulled a look of sheer horror and disgust as she met her mother's gaze one last time before stepping into the fireplace and going up in a green blaze as she called out her destination.
A/N: I hope you enjoyed Chapter 10 ^^ by far the longest chapter to date, which is strange… I thought it was going to be shorter… Huh… Chapter 11 is already largely mentally written so the time before the next update won't be quite as long. In case people are confused with the ages of Bellatrix and Andromeda, Andromeda had turned 15 recently, while Bellatrix would have turned 16 after Christmas.
Review and leave your feedback and questions if you have time ^^