So this chapter has some M rated stuff, violent shit and weird shit. Please let me know what you think if you can. Thanks for reading, as always.
She was no stranger to sex; she'd had partners and had known many people who would like to have been. She'd always treated sex like she would treat any other need; something that needed to be satiated and then forgotten about, like hunger or thirst. She'd had good sex, bad sex, indifferent sex, quick, slow, angry and tender but lying on the floor at the end of the world with a man who had made her surrender simply by breathing, she realized all of it was nothing compared to this. She'd read passages that appeared to describe impossible sex that no real person could ever hope to have but, as she watched him lose himself with her, she was reminded of Anais Nin "He was now in that state of fire that she loved. She wanted to be burnt." and he burnt her, down to her core.
His skin was so sensitive; she read his body like Braille, fingertips reading his bones and muscles like a story, tracing the tattoos and scars and marks, memorizing them. She felt the delicious roughness of his chest against hers. She ran her hands up his arms that braced themselves on the floor, feeling the taut muscles that were used to fight but were now being used to drive her to the edge. She felt his back muscles moving against her legs that were wrapped around his waist, so much strength that was restrained, chained, hidden now being unleashed for her. She met him on equal terms; as hungry, passionate and powerful as he was. His hands moved to her back and he brought her up to meet him, pressing her to him and then to the nape of her neck; his eyes never leaving hers.
He could feel her everywhere, soaking into him. He wasn't thinking, couldn't form a coherent thought. He was entirely and totally a man of desire. He watched her body become light and shadow as she moved around him. He dipped to kiss the dark of her throat and trailed fire to the light of her hips. She was like the crescendo of guitars, the acceleration of a bike, the release of an arrow and she was with him. Her lips were slightly parted, breathing fast, her chest meeting his and then falling away. He kissed her, biting her bottom lip like a first, ripe peach and she tightened around him. "Open your eyes." Their cries broke the rich silence again and again.
He brushed her hair away from her face, she couldn't move. Her bones were like liquid as she lay over his chest. Both of them were breathing hard and the moon lit the sweat droplets like morning dew on their skin. He looked down at her and thought he had never seen anything more beautiful.
"I can feel you staring." she mumbled into his chest and he quickly looked away, aware that his old uncertainties were creeping back. She wouldn't stay with him, why would she? He had nothing to offer her. He wasn't anything and she was like a supernova.
"And I can hear you thinking. I can't tell the future but I'm telling you this, whatever happens there will be a lot more of you and me." and she felt the flutter of exhilaration as his laugh vibrated through his chest.
He twisted her hair through his fingers and felt its coolness but thought that was wrong, hair that bright should be hot. Their breathing became even and she shifted to lie beside him. Suddenly he sat up and began to go through the pockets of his jeans.
"What?" she asked and then smiled as he lit two cigarettes and passed one to her. He lay back down beside her and she hooked one leg over the other and twirled her ankle; neither felt any need to put clothes on.
"Daryl's not back yet." said Rick to Carol who cleaning a rifle at the table. The others were sat round discussing what to do next.
"He'll come back when he's ready." she said not looking at him.
"What's he doing over there?" asked Abraham and was surprised when Carol, Michonne, Rosita and Maggie smiled.
"No way." said Glenn but was silenced by a stare from Maggie.
"What?!" said Rick incredulously, "Daryl and…really? Daryl? And Essie?"
The women retained the heavy silence until the men stopped talking. Some things were not meant to be discussed.
"You're going to have to go back sometime soon, before Rick comes looking for you, you know." said Essie, stretching luxuriously.
"Nah, I'm good." said Daryl, watching her move.
"Christ, could you imagine if they burst in right now? I think I'd have to probably shoot them." she said and instinctively curled into a ball at the thought.
"Are you always this talkative?" Daryl asked.
"I don't know, I've never hung around this long afterwards." she said with a glint in her eye and laughed at his derisive rumble. Then she sighed as she felt his fingers begin to stroke down her spine. She twisted under his touch and he felt the fire begin to spark again.
This time it was quicker, even more powerful. They now knew each other better and Essie knew what she needed. She dug her fingernails into his back, his hips, bit his shoulder just to feel him shudder. Neither of them held back and the house seemed to shake under them.
Daryl collapsed over her and her arms circled round him.
"You're going to kill me." he said breathlessly.
"But what a way to go." she said, equally out of breath and felt him tremor with a laugh. He rolled onto his back and she curled into his side. She pulled the throw off the sofa and covered them both; he put his arm round her body and pulled her close. He felt her breathing slow and felt himself begin to match her rhythm. Just before he fell asleep he realized that this was the first time he had ever fallen asleep this close to someone else; he kind of liked it.
Essie woke to the sun rudely shining through the window. She was still curled closely to Daryl who had rolled onto his stomach with one arm under his head and one hand on her hip. Without the warm fog of whiskey the events of the previous day overwhelmed her but she couldn't cry. Lawrence was gone; she had a new lover; love and war in one day. She'd experienced a huge thaw and she now knew who she might become. But she also knew she had a decision to make. She'd always fought her own battles, gone her own way but now there was the possibility of having back up. Could she trust Rick and the others to have her back; she didn't know them well enough to be sure and she had to be sure? She could trust Daryl, she'd probably never trust anyone like she did him but she might also have to put him in harm's way. She'd always been a protector; she'd protected herself, protected others weaker than herself, protected her brother and she couldn't stop that now.
She didn't realize that this train of thought would lead to disaster…hindsight is a wonderful thing but always comes too late.
She moved Daryl's hand and stood up. She silently slipped on her clothes and walked to the kitchen. She saw her bloodied clothes on the floor and the old Essie, the stupid, dumbfuck and impulsive Essie, reared her head. She opened the back door and went out into the cold, bright morning and Daryl slept, deep and dreamless, for perhaps the first time, blissful and oblivious.
He woke a while later and reached out for her and was confused when she wasn't there. When he couldn't find her in the house, in the street, with Rick or with Deanna he knew something was wrong. When they found her shirt, tattered and ripped outside the walls, he felt his body turn to stone.
She heard them before she saw them and she thought she was ready but there were too many of them. They circled her and baited her, she had her machete in her hand and she was angry, so angry. But that made her stupid. She took 1 out and spun round to get a second one, the one who was smiling, but missed the third feinting to her right. She sliced through his arm but was knocked to her knees. She twisted, too slow, a boot connected with her head and everything went to black.
Her head felt too heavy for her shoulders; she couldn't hold it in place. She had no idea where she was, how much time had passed or what had happened, there was just the pain in her temple and the faint smell of blood. She floated in the semi darkness, fleeting memories painted pictures of the past, sounds filtered down but she didn't recognize them. Time passed.
She awoke with a start lying on the hard, wooden floor. Her head felt like a knife was embedded there but she was conscious and aware. She tried to feel the wound on her head but found her hands were chained. She patted herself down as best she could, no broken bones, no missing clothes thank fuck. She squinted around the room she was in, the windows were boarded up, and there was no furniture. The walls were covered in red graffiti, meaningless streaks and lines but it unsettled her. She couldn't remember how she had got there. Suddenly the memories hit her like a tidal wave; in his arms last night, the bloody clothes on the floor, the sweat slicking their skin, the boot to her head. However now was not the moment to be overwhelmed; she had to get out.
She tugged on the chains bolted to the floor, tried to slip the cuffs but they were too tight. She scrabbled as far over to the window as the length of chain would allow and in the dim shafts of light she examined the lock. They looked old, they weren't modern cuffs, they looked like something from the 19th century, made from heavy iron with a long, thick chain looped through the bolt on the floor. There was no lock to pick, they screwed together and needed the key to open them. She paced the room slowly, unable to search all of it because of the chains. There was one door, out of her reach. The light was getting stronger but still not enough to light the room properly, it must be morning. Dust moved in the weak beams of light. The room smelt musty and damp, as if it hadn't been opened in a long time. She returned to the centre and sat down measuring her breaths and slowing her racing heart. She closed her eyes and listened.
The sounds began to make sense. There were voices, male voices, but the words were unclear, too far away. There was the wind in the trees so she was in a forest. There was also the faint screaming, this never stopped. She heard footsteps getting close, they were uneven as if the person was limping. She must be in a building that was more than this room. She heard bolts slide back, the door was bolted not locked, another problem to work out. She quickly lay back down as if she had never regained consciousness. She heard the door shut again but no bolt being put back into place, so the door was open when someone else was in the room. The footsteps came close and the overwhelming stench of sweat and an unwashed body nearly made her vomit. She felt a boot kick her leg but still didn't move. Suddenly she was hit by icy water and she couldn't suppress a gasp.
"Get up." said a voice.
Rick loaded his gun, Abraham shoved more ammunition into a bag, Carol sighted her rifle, Michonne tested the blade of her katana, Rosita strapped the machete to her leg, Tara spun the barrel of her revolver checking the rounds, Glen slung the shotgun onto his shoulder, everyone was getting ready.
"You look like you're preparing for a war." Deanna said quietly, everyone looked at her.
"We are." said Rick.
"You are putting this town at risk. She's one person. I know this is a difficult decision but she's not worth everyone's safety." Deanna said.
"She's family." said Maggie and that was the end of the discussion.
Essie was hauled to her feet, her hair was stuck to her face after the dousing with water, she couldn't make out the man in front of her. That didn't stop her from kicking out, catching him on the leg with her boot and he yelled in pain.
"Fucking bitch." he said and back handed her across the face so that she fell to the ground again.
So he had injured his right leg she thought as her head rang from the blow. He stood on her chest with one foot as he bent down to undo the bolt in the floor then he yanked her to her feet again. He grabbed the back of her neck before she could fight back and put a knife to her throat.
"Don't fuck about. He might not want you dead yet but try anything and I will open your throat." he said and she recoiled from his breath.
"Fucking hell, did you eat a dog shit sandwich?" she said and was rewarded with the knife cutting into her neck enough to make her bleed profusely.
"Watch your mouth you whore." he said, dragging her through the door.
She counted her steps to where she was being taken. 17 to a right turn, 18 to a set of concrete steps, up and then 20 to a door. He knocked and the door opened then he pulled her through. It was dimly lit just like everywhere else but there was a small table with 2 chairs either side, another table just off to the side where there was food and water laid out.
He shoved her into the chair and looped the chain through another bolt in the floor.
"This has happened before." Essie thought and then heard the door behind her open again. Peg Leg dug his fingers into her shoulder as she tried to turn round so she couldn't see who had entered until he sat down in front of her. He was a larger than average man but not a giant. He looked like any other survivor at first glance; dirty and worn clothes, unshaven, greasy hair. The she looked into his eyes and saw the madness of a zealot burning there, the hairs on the back of her neck went up. She was in trouble.
"Your lip is bleeding." he said. His voice was surprisingly light, he could have been ordering a latte in a coffee shop or enquiring about the price of a new suit; instead he was staring at her face with concern and the madness of devils.
"Why is her lip bleeding…and her neck?" he enquired of Peg Leg.
"She wasn't coming quietly." he answered. The Man stood up and walked over to the table and poured 2 glasses of water. He set one down in front of Essie and kept the other one in his hand.
"I said she wasn't to be touched." he walked behind Essie and faced Peg Leg who was looking very wary.
"I specifically remember saying she wasn't to be touched." The Man repeated, still in a light voice and then, without another word, smashed the glass into Peg Leg's face. He screamed and dropped to his knees, blood pouring from the laceration across his cheek and mouth.
"Get out." The Man said without emotion and, even though he must have been in excruciating pain, Peg Leg limped out holding his face together. The Man went over to the table and poured himself another glass of water and then sat down opposite Essie.
"Please drink. You must be thirsty."
Essie was desperately thirsty but remained still, staring at The Man.
"Look I will take the first sip so you know it is safe." he said and took a mouthful of water. Essie picked up the glass and drained it, The Man smiled at her like a pet who has learnt a new trick.
"So Estella, please allow me to introduce myself. My name is…Luka. This is the name I have chosen for my new self."
Essie stared at him, still silent, so he continued.
"My people have been watching you for a very long time. It is wonderful to finally meet you." The light voice was the most disturbing feature. He spoke to her like they were being introduced over dinner or a meeting; polite but distant.
"I imagine you have many questions. Please, ask me anything."
Essie took a deep breath and let it out slowly, "I'm going to eviscerate you and then I am going to burn it all to the ground." she said evenly, staring at him. His eyes narrowed for a moment and then the courteousness returned and he smiled, showing small, sharp teeth.
"You are strong. I knew you would be. I feel like I know you so well. I've brought you home to be with your family. We're going to be very happy."
"You will die screaming." Essie said. The Man had his hands around her throat before she could react and he put his face very close to hers.
"You will do exactly what I tell you to do or I will skin you and watch you turn." he hissed and then he released his hand. He turned to sit but span back round when he heard Essie gasping out a laugh.
"You…you think that…I will do what…you tell me to do?" she couldn't stop laughing at him.
"You…you really think that? And you say you have been watching me? Fuck, you say you know me?"
"You will do exactly what I tell you or I will destroy your town and all the people in it whilst you watch. And the redneck with the bow and arrow that you are so close to will be the first; he will turn and then you will kill him." Essie just continued to laugh until he punched her in the face, knocking her out.
Rick opened the gate and the others walked out. He was about to close it when he saw Tobin leading a group of the townspeople towards them.
"We're coming with you." he said.
"You're not prepared for this." Rick said.
"We're coming with you." he repeated.
"No. Stay here. If this goes bad, you'll need to protect the town." Rick said.
"But we want to help."
"You can help, by protecting the town. Set up a constant guard in the tower, watch the perimeter. Anyone other than us comes out of those woods, shoot it." Rick and the others walked through the gate and Tobin locked it behind them.
When Essie regained consciousness she was back sitting in the chair with Luka staring at her from the opposite side of the table.
"Would you like some food?" he asked, still polite, as though he had not just hit her. Essie moved her jaw to check it wasn't broken.
"You must be hungry. You haven't eaten since yesterday morning and you had a very eventful day." he moved over to the table and prepared a plate of food for her. He placed it in front of her and laid a cloth over her lap as if they were in an uptown restaurant. She watched him.
"Eat." he said and when she began to eat he smiled again, good pet. Essie ate because she didn't know when she would get the chance again; all the time watching, assessing, waiting.
"Why am I here?" she finally asked, "why me?"
"I am so glad you asked that. Please, allow me." and he knelt by her side and undid the bolt. As he stood up he brushed against her leg. He let out an audible groan and Essie recoiled. She stood up, making sure that her t shirt covered her back pocket.
"Forgive this inelegance." he said and pushed a gun into the small of her back, "Until you are fully assimilated into the family, we can't be too careful." and he pushed her forward into the shadows. She walked through an open doorway into another, much larger, room. Against the wall was a large square object covered with a blood stained sheet, spot lights were the only source of light but Essie thought she heard movements in the shadows of this windowless room. He stopped a few feet away and just stared.
"This is what led me to you. Once I saw you, I knew you were going to be the matriarch of my family. You are so perfect, so perfect." and he pulled the sheet off to reveal the original, metre squared canvas of The Woman after the Rapture.
"When the dead took over Atlanta, I was trapped in the High Museum of Art with a group of others. We were hiding in a gallery but the dead were coming, we could hear them. I knew I was going to die but then I saw this painting glowing with a holy light and I knew I would be saved. Whilst the dead fed on the others I escaped and then, later, when I had become Luka, I went back to Atlanta and took this painting knowing that it would lead me to you. I lost 7 brothers getting this but they are nothing because now you are here." all the time he was staring at the painting. Essie saw her mother's face staring out of the painting, out of the past; that look of despair slicing through her more than any knife ever could.
Rick and the others entered the woods silently and waited. Daryl appeared from the treeline.
"What you find?" asked Rick.
"There was 6 of them. She fought back but they took her. They headed east, didn't hide their trail either. They're expecting us." he said and walked back the way he'd come, the others followed.
Carol caught up with him, "You ok?" she asked, knowing the truth. He didn't answer and she didn't ask again, she knew him too well.
A clink of chains broke the silence. Essie turned to see and Luka laughed, "You must meet my pets." and he pulled her chains like a leash and led her into the shadows. As her eyes became accustomed to the gloom she saw pairs chained together, round the neck, by a steel bar, one human, one dead; neither able to move more than a few inches. The humans were gagged and Essie saw their terrified eyes pleading with her.
"I will save you." she thought but turned away without reacting.
"Now." said Luka, "I must send you back to your room. I have things to do, I'm sure you understand, but we will talk later." and he pulled her out of the shadowed and terrible room. She began to move towards the door but he held onto her chain.
"Estella?" he said, "you do understand that you are going to be mother to my family? You will protect us like you protected me." and he got on his knees and put his arms around her waist and rested his head on her stomach. She placed her hand on his head and he closed his eyes.
"You will die screaming." she thought.