E POV

I woke up in the morning with my brain pounding against my skull. I put a hand on each side of my head, as if that would stop my brain from leaping right out. I slowly realized that what I had just experienced was not a dream. If my drunken state was not a dream, then what I said to Bella last night was real. I moaned as the events of the night came crashing back.

I had so terribly wanted to tell Bella about my feelings for her. I couldn't do it because I kept on chickening out, and then I proceeded to tell her I was going to ask out some girl that I barely knew. I was mostly angry at myself, but to Bella it looked like it was something that she had said. I was so mad at myself that I decided to get wasted, and then I yelled at Bella because she has no feelings for me. Can I be even more pathetic? She probably doesn't want to talk to me, and to be honest, I am too ashamed to show up and ask for her forgiveness. The look in her eyes last night made my heart break, and I don't think I would be able to look into those eyes again, knowing that I did that.

My headache was making it hard to think straight, so I pushed myself off the bed, with one hand still on my head, in search of Advil. I was walking down the hallway when Emmett slammed the bathroom door shut. I cringed, the noise making my brain feel like it just shattered. I knew he was doing this on purpose. He was still mad at me, and I really couldn't blame him. To him, Bella was like his baby sister. I never saw her as a sister, but Emmett was a different story. He would always threaten boys who would try to hit on her, protect her from the evil things in the world. He did not like it when people hurt her – especially when it was someone she trusted.

I continued to walk when Jasper walked out of his room, carefully closing the door. At least he was thoughtful, he gave me a cold look – ok, maybe not.

"Headache Edward?" He sneered.

"Is there any Advil?" I tried to ignore the anger that was bubbling under Jasper's tone.

"No, we ran out. You can always go get some."

"I'll live," I mumbled.

"Let's go, I'm hungry and I bet Bella cooked something nice," Emmett reappeared from the bathroom, completely ignoring me. He stood there for a second longer and then walked downstairs.

"You are going to Bella's place?" I asked nonchalantly.

"Yeah, well Emmett is finally going to ask Rosalie the big question, so they are going out. Alice wants me to hang out with her and Bella – you see, Bella was in a pretty bad mood last night."

It felt like Jasper punched me in the stomach. I knew that Bella couldn't sleep at night when she had things on her mind. I also knew that I was the one person that she can really pour her heart 

out to; I was the one person who was able to help her fall asleep. I frowned at the fact that she probably had no sleep last night.

"Can you please just tell her I am sorry? Tell her I never meant to hurt her – that I love her more than anything and that she is the last person in this world that I would want to hurt. Please Jasper."

He gave me a weary look, "do you really think it is going to mean much coming from me? Look, I am not going to be your messenger. You have to be the man and tell her to her face. She isn't going to be ok until you say something to her."

"I can't," I looked at my feet, feeling useless.

"Well then, Edward that is your problem. I am not going to say anything. Anyways, how can't you tell her all that yourself? You guys do talk about everything. You are just as close as Alice and I are." It was quiet for a few seconds. "Do you want to come with Edward? I won't let Emmett give you a hard time."

I scowled, "Emmett is my brother, and I can handle him after living with him my whole life. No, I shouldn't go right now. My head hurts too much anyways; I should just sleep it off."

"I bet that is the only reason why you don't want to come with," Jasper said sarcastically. He left me to stand there alone.

"Good luck with Rose, Emmett," I shouted. I knew he was angry with me, but he was my brother and him asking Rosalie to marry him was big – very big.

"I don't need luck little bro. I know her answer will be a definite yes. Anyways, why don't you for once in your life man up and talk to her," he shouted back. I didn't answer and then they left. I exhaled loudly and went down to the living room. I plopped myself on the couch, my head in my hands.

What was I going to do? I just didn't have the heart to go back there, but what if she was waiting for me? No, if Bella wanted an answer she would come to me. She was never patient enough to wait for someone to come to her. Maybe she needed space. Maybe she needed time away from me. Maybe…I needed time away from her too.

Thinking about not talking to Bella just made my head hurt even more. There was never a day that went by where I wouldn't talk to her. How can I just stop cold turkey? I ran my hand through my hair, frustrated with myself. This would have been different if I was honest. When she asked me at the bar if I had feelings for her I had said no. I was too scared of the rejection. I thought that if she said she had no feelings for me and I said the feeling was mutual, it would not hurt as much, but it was killing me. If I said I loved her, would she change her mind? Would she come to her senses and tell me she loved me back? No, Bella has had all these years to realize she loved me, and she still doesn't, so that means she never will. But…I had just recently acquired these feelings for her. Maybe I didn't really have feelings for her. What if I thought I 

did because the idea of me and her together was comfortable? We knew each other inside and out, we were best friends, we were both attractive people. If we ended up together we would end up being content, but I didn't want to be just content – and I wouldn't want that for Bella either. I was going to forget about my feelings for Bella Swan. If not for my happiness, then for hers. I got up and headed to the shower.

I was leaning back in my chair, my eyes closed, waiting for my professor to start talking. I felt a warm hand on my forehead. I looked up to Lucy smiling down at me.

"You ok? You look pretty sick," She took her seat next to me.

"Yea just a headache," I wasn't in the mood to talk. I hoped that Lucy didn't take it the wrong way. I don't think I could have more than one girl angry with me.

Class dragged and I thought it would never end, but finally Mr. Michaels was done speaking. I quickly got out of my seat, wanting to get home as soon as possible.

"So when is our little dinner date?" Lucy stood up at the same time I did.

"You know what, you were right about me not feeling well. I got pretty wasted last night and some stuff happened. I really need to sleep it off and I have a ton of work to do, how about sometime next week?" She looked kind of upset, but she still smiled.

Days passed and I still hadn't talked to Bella. Sometimes, in the middle of the night, I would get out of bed ready to go talk to her, but then I would realize how late it was. I constantly thought about her, wondering if she was thinking about me as much as I was thinking about her.

"Why are you doing this to yourself?" Jasper had asked one night. He was going out to the movies with Bella and Alice, and I was in the living room watching TV. I looked up annoyed by his constant pestering.

"Look mom, I can handle this on my own. I just need space, and so does she."

"Bella doesn't need space – she needs you. I hope you realize that before it is too late."

"If she needs me she could call me." I was not going to give in.

"Have you not realized yet that you two are the most stubborn people alive? She isn't going to call you and you aren't going to call her. I swear, I do not see how you guys are not together yet. You two are meant for each other."

I did not want to talk about Bella and I not talking and I definitely did not want to talk about us together. "I have a paper to write. Have fun at the movies," I made my way up the stairs.

"Keep running away from your problems Edward," Jasper whispered.

I knew he was right, but what was I supposed to do? I couldn't be around Bella. It physically hurt me to touch her, and I can't tell her I love her. Telling her that would just tear us up even more.

Weeks went by and I still hadn't talked to Bella. I didn't count the days by numbers anymore, I just counted them as another day I hadn't seen my best friend. I smiled when Lucy walked into the room. I didn't know why I was doing this – I didn't want to do this, but maybe it would help me out.

I stood up and pulled her chair for her, "Hey Lucy!"

"Wow, someone is being the gentleman," she laughed.

I sat back down in my chair and turned towards her. "I was thinking, remember that dinner date we were supposed to have a while ago? Are you still up for it?"

"I finally get to go on a date with The Edward Cullen?"

"I'm not that great. You might actually find me boring and never want to speak to me ever again," I joked.

"I doubt that, what time?"

"Is seven o'clock ok with you?" She nodded and wrote her address down. I couldn't stop smiling throughout class. This might actually work. I always stopped thinking about Bella when I talked to Lucy. Maybe she is my answer. I felt guilty for using her but convinced myself I really wasn't. She was a great girl: beautiful, funny, sophisticated, charming, why wouldn't I want to go on a date with her?

I was dressed and ready to go pick Lucy up when Emmett's big hand stopped me. "Are you coming to dinner with us at the girls' place? Are you finally going to be human and say you are sorry?"

Jasper popped out of the kitchen, surprised from what he just heard. "Really, Edward? That's great! Bella has been down lately too, almost as non human as you have been. You are really going to cheer her up by showing up, and Alice will be happy too. You know she misses you, since she refused to see you because you have been ignoring Bella. Don't be too hard on her though, she is just doing what's best for Bella, but don't think it is Bella's idea. She didn't want them to ignore you. She was actually encouraging them to talk to you."

This was the most Jasper had said to me in weeks. I had to stop him before he killed himself from lack of breathing. "I'm…not…going with you guys."

"Why would we take two cars? That's just a waste, besides there are barely any parking spots available down there. Or do you want to walk? I think walking is a good idea." Emmett obviously did not get what I was trying to say.

"Emmett, I think he means he isn't going to see Bella at all," Jasper glared at me.

"I'm going on a date with a girl from class. Actually it's not even a date; we are just going out to eat."

Emmett stared at me open mouthed, shook his head, and left.

"At least you are finally going out," Jasper shrugged as he walked out of the house.

Lucy and I were sitting at the Metropolitan Grill – not a great idea. It reminded me of when me and Bella went on our little 'date.' I kept on glancing at the table we sat at when we had been tricked by our friends, thinking that Bella might be sitting there. It was awkward in the beginning because of me being uncomfortable, but once Lucy started to talk I was fine – except I fell into another one of my memories, even though I was so desperately trying not to.

We were lying under the stars on a big checkered blanket in my backyard. We were impatiently waiting for the comet that Alice said would appear soon.

"Emmett lets go inside. I am sick of being attacked by these bugs," Rosalie whined.

"Alright, fine. I'm sure you and I hanging out in my room will be better than this," he quickly winked and Jasper and me. Rosalie saw that and smacked him.

"Guys don't go. They say when you see a comet; there is an angel among us. Don't you want to experience that?!" Alice tried pulling Rose down.

"Where did you hear that? And, do we actually see this angel, feel it around us, or do we just assume it is there?"

"I don't know but we should wait and see," Alice was pointing to her watch, letting us know it was almost time.

"I'd rather not," Rose and Emmett walked back to the house, hand in hand.

"This is the last summer before we all go to college and they don't even want to spend it with us," Alice whined.

"We are all going to the University of Seattle," Jasper stated.

She shot him a dark look, "fine let's go to my house, and these bugs are annoying."

"Do you want to leave?" I had one arm around Bella. She shook her head, still looking up at the stars.

"Oh look Edward, a shooting star!" She pointed in the direction of the star. "Hurry up and make a wish." She squeezed her eyes shut, her lips turned up into a smile.

I rolled my eyes, but did the same thing. I wish…I looked at Bella, her eyes still closed. I wish that we will always be like this, that nothing changes between us. I looked back at Bella and she now looked relaxed, she fell asleep. I chuckled, pulling her closer to me.

My eyes were starting to droop when I saw an amazing red light streak across the black sky. I gasped; the comet was worth waiting for.

"Bella," I whispered, trying to wake her up, but then I paused. Alice had said that when you see a comet; there is an angel. I looked around feeling silly looking for something I knew wouldn't be there. I held my breath trying to concentrate on my sense of touch, waiting to see if I would feel anything near me, I felt breathing on my neck. I looked down again, Bella was heavily breathing against my neck, and her lips were mere inches away from my skin. She looked gorgeous. Her long, dark hair was fanned out above her hair, making it look like she had a halo. Her skin glowed in the moonlight, like she was some type of mythical creature. Her lips were parted, she was smiling, they were so inviting. When you see a comet; there is an angel around. I shivered, Bella was the angel, and she was my angel.

Her eyes opened up and she squinted at me, "what? Was I drooling?"

I shook my head to clear my thoughts, "no, I was trying to wake you. I saw the comet."

"Did you see an angel?" She mocked interest.

"I think I did."

I forced myself out of the memory. I couldn't be thinking about her. The whole point of this date was to forget about Bella. After my little slip up, the date went by smoothly. We were laughing and joking around all the way back to Lucy's house.

"Do you want to come up?" She asked poking her head through the open window.

"No, I really shouldn't. I should go get some sleep. How about we go on another date tomorrow?"

"Perfect," she smiled.

I was really starting to like Lucy, she was starting to fill up my thoughts, and Bella was slowly disappearing from them.

Three months went by, and Alice had had enough. She came over to my place and burst into my room. I looked up from my lap top.

"You," she pointed at me. "You are coming over right now. I am getting married in one week and my two closest friends are not talking to each other. The best man and the maid of honor are not talking to each other! This is ridiculous. We are going to set this straight right now." I tried to hold down a smile; Alice looked so out of it.

"Don't you dare laugh at me," She barked. "I have been going crazy with flowers, shoes, dresses, food, and I do not need you two to act like immature little teenagers. Let's go." I was shocked, Alice, my tiny cheerful friend, was pissed. "Stop staring at me, let's go!"

Bella and I were forced to sit in silence while Alice yelled at us for a while. We started talking again, but it wasn't the same. She was too afraid to even look at me. We didn't even know what to talk about, after a couple of minutes of awkward silence I had decided to leave. I never wanted it to be this way, but it now was. We were both so afraid of each other. I knew it would never be the same between us. Dancing with her at Alice's wedding, having to hold her close, that is going to be tough.