Author's note: This is how I would've wanted a Robot Chicken sketch to be. It's just for fun! The series were created by Seth Green

Chapter 10: Disney Sketches

Scene 1: Hades visits a Psychologist - Hercules

We see Hades lying on a couch while the psychologist speaks to him.

Psychologist: Now Mr. Hades, let's start all over again. Tell me what you have experienced in the last few days.

Hades: What I have experienced? I'll you what! I have always been the laughing stock in my family for ages! And the only reason for that is because of my job! I mean, being the God of the Underworld is my job, so they can't treat me like some loner.

Psychologist: Which one from your family do you think mistreats you that way?

Hades: Well, everyone does. But Zeus is the driving force behind this! That son of a….oh that's right, we share the same mother so I shouldn't say this. Anyway, Zeus is my irritating and overconfident douche of a big brother.

Psychologist: When did you and Zeus have this kind of relationship?

Hades: Technically when he was a teenager while I was still in my bloopers. We managed to kick our abusive father's ass and then imprison him. But it was after that, Zeus began acting like a dick to me. Furthermore, he made me in charge of the Underworld, and still harasses me to this day! I hear now that he has a son too.

Psychologist: That would make him your nephew, right?

Hades (thinks): Okay Hades. Shall you tell him the truth? C'mon, he is your mortal enemy who's gonna ruin your plan in the future so why not tell this? He might wanna give you some advice.

Hades: Nah, he's actually adopted, so he has no blood relation to me.

Scene 2: Are You a Bear or Not? – Brother Bear

We visit the North American wilderness, where we see Kenai (who has for some magical reasons transformed into a bear) conversing with the moose brothers Rutt and Tuke. He tries to convince them that he is a human, although they are not convinced.

Kenai: Look, I am a human. I was lifted by my brother and transformed into a bear by the Great Spirits.

Rutt: I hate to be rude, bear, but all that Great Spirits crap doesn't make any sense at all. You probably fell off from a cliff or something.

Kenai: But that's true, I did fell off from a cliff. I could barely remember it because I had amnesia or something.

Tuke: Hey, if you are a human, then I am a big wolverine without sharp teeth. Just look at them (growls).

Rutt: You know what I think you are, bear? I think you more of a retard than that of a human.

Kenai: WHAT!?

Tuke: Hey, that was a good one, Rutt! A fitting description! Oh listen to this: the story of the retarded bear who thinks he's a human.

Both brothers laugh at this, while Kenai stares at them irritated.

Kenai: I am not retarded! I am telling you the truth!

Rutt: Okay, we have heard enough, retarded bear. No more of your crazy antics, please.

Kenai: But I….ah forget it! You know something? F**k you two! I just keep wasting my time discussing this with you! I better find this mountain I'm supposed to meet my brother at.

Kenai walks off leaving the two moose talking for themselves.

Tuke: You think he will be alright?

Rutt: Yeah, he'll probably meet someone as crazy as him. You know, for being a bear, he sure was a dick.

Tuke: For once I agree with you, Rutt. Being a moose is much cooler than being a bear.

Rutt: You said it, Tuke!

Scene 3: Wilbur's Mobile Conversation – The Rescuers Down Under

In the nest of Marahute, Wilbur the albatross is taking good care of the eagle eggs while Bernard is off to rescue Bianca and the others. So far, everything is quiet. But Wilbur becomes bored and sighs deeply.

Wilbur: Ah this sucks! I can't believe I am stuck doing babysitting for some eggs! I wanna go kick some poacher butt too!

Suddenly a ringtone appears and Wilbur knows what it is. He picks up a mobile phone and eyes it.

Wilbur: Well that was unexpected. Who can it be?

The albatross answer it and begins a mobile conversation.

Wilbur (talking to the phone): Hello this is Wilbur from Albatross Airlines, how can I…..Oh, hi Betty, it's you! Boy, am I glad to hear your voice…..Where I am? Oh, I'm in Australia right now, the Land Down Under and…..What? Yes I'm on the job right now. But for some reason I got involved in some badass mission by my passengers so it will take some time before I can return home, but don't worry, pumpkin. You and I are gonna have ourselves some….Wait, what did you say? Let me get this straight! Are you….You're breaking up with me? But…why, Betty? We have barley known each other for two months, you can't just…You say I'm boring you? What proof do you have for me being…Lazy? Me? That's bullshit! I have a fulltime job flying mice from New York to places like London or Paris, that isn't necessarily lazy! And besides, it's hard doing a business alone when your brother is dead. Just…..Betty, please! Don't start crying, I still care about, you know…What? You think I'm cheating you for some other chick? You gotta be f**king kidding me! I've never watched a porno or something! I never checked out on…..Now you listen to me, Betty! You're overreacting for something you don't know a damn thing about….Yes you are! But look sweetheart, I don't have time for stupid arguments. Can you please just have patience with me? I promise I will change once I get back home….Um Betty…..Are you still there?

Wilbur realises that she has hung up the phone, making him slump in defeat and anger. He switches his mobile phone off.

Wilbur: Stupid c**tface! I hate my life sometimes!

He suddenly feels the eggs moving, but he doesn't care. He sits still angrily.

Wilbur: Yeah! Go ahead! Laugh at how my life sucks! But you dipshits don't have a clue what life is about….yet!

Scene 4: Pinocchio and Stromboli - Pinocchio

Inside Stromboli's wagon, the greedy puppeteer is holding Pinocchio imprisoned so he can keep a better eye on him. He then explains what he will do next.

Stromboli: We will tour the world! London. Paris. Monte Carlo. Constantinople…..

Pinocchio: Argh! My eyes, my eyes! Disgusting! Gross!

Stromboli becomes confused to see what the problem is.

Stromboli: What's the matter with you? Have you seen a ghost or something?

Pinocchio: No, but I almost threw up once I saw your fat ass showing its crack! Seriously, how nasty can you be!?

Stromboli briefly looks at his bum and then eyes Pinocchio again with an outrageous look on his face.

Stromboli: What has my ass with something disgusting to do!? Every human has one! But you don't, because you are a puppet!

Pinocchio: I know that, but a "normal" human wouldn't shake his buttocks in front of a small child! Are you a child molester of something?

Stromboli becomes shocked by this and angrily retorts back.

Stromboli: Like I said, you aren't a human! You don't have an ass! Besides, puppets aren't supposed to have feelings and emotions as well!

Pinocchio: Oh I see you are a discriminator! That's what you truly are! A discriminating lardass! You discriminate against those who have feelings and are non-human. How would've liked if I made fun of your actual Romani culture, huh!?

Stromboli sighs deeply and unlocks Pinocchio's cage, thus opening it.

Stromboli: Just leave me alone. I don't want you in my life anymore, so get out of this wagon.

Scene 5: Never Underestimate the Milkman – The Aristocats

In the French countryside, Thomas O'Malley is trying to help Duchess and her kittens in getting a ride back home to Paris. They set their eyes on a very modern milk van (not the one seen in the movie). O'Malley stands on a branch and prepares to scare the hell out of the milkman. The Aristocats are hiding in the grass nearby.

O'Malley: Okay sweet-cheeks! Watch and learn how I scare the living hell out of him!

O'Malley eyes the Aristocats before jumping off the branch to land in front of the van. He does that but given the fact that the van is modern and driving in fast speed, O'Malley is technically crashed by the van's frontal window. The milkman sees this and freaks out.

Milkman: JESUS F**KING CHRIST!

He pulls the breaks immediately, thus sending O'Malley flying towards the grass and on to the water. He then starts hauling in pain.

O'Malley: OWW MY MOTHERF**KING PAWS! GODDAMN IT THAT HURT, YOU SON OFA BICTH! OWWWW! F******K!

The Aristocats run over to O'Malley with shock in their eyes.

Duchess: Oh my goodness! Are you alright, Mr. O'Malley?

O'Malley: OW! I'm dying….help me!

Berlioz: Mama, aren't cats supposed to be able to land on their legs?

Duchess: Why yes, darling. Why do you ask?

Toulouse: Because we don't think O'Malley is a cat.

Marie: Yeah, he must be an overgrown cougar cub or something.

O'Malley: What the f**k is that supposed to mean!? Are you Parisians really that clueless!?

Scene 6: Gaston's Proposal: Uncut Version – Beauty and the Beast

We see Belle opening the door and in come Gaston dressed in his wedding suit. He tries to propose to Belle.

Gaston: Hey there, my sexy brunette! How's it going?

Belle (facepalms): Oh, hi Gaston

Gaston walks over to a small mirror, where he studies himself.

Gaston: You know something, Belle. I love hunting and training but there is something I love even more.

Belle is dumbfounded.

Belle: What is that?

Gaston chuckles lightly before answering.

Gaston: Silly Belle! I like tits and pussy more than trophies. And guess which hot, virgin lady is gonna help me achieve those by offering them to me? Take a guess.

Belle: For the love of God, Gaston! I am really sick and tired of you always clinging to me like that. And no, I'm not gonna let you taste my tits and pussy.

Gaston: Then I guess I have to claim your ass as my own! Bend over and let me shove my c**k between your butt-crack!

Belle: You're such a nasty pervert, Gaston! And that appearance of yours makes you look gay!

Scene 7: What is the Master doing? – The Fox and the Hound

Outside Amos Slade's house, Chief and Copper are drinking from their water. They enjoy it, until Copper starts sniffing in the air. Chief notices this with curiosity.

Chief: What's the matter, kid? Are you smellin' something?

Copper: Yeah and it smells very weird. I think it comes from the Master's house. What is he doing over there?

Chief: Here, let me try!

Chief starts sniffing in the air and his face becomes filled with wonder.

Chief: Ah, the master's probably cooking something very special, perhaps some meat? He's probably just cooking dinner to himself.

Copper: Dinner? Oh boy, I wanna taste some of the master's dinner.

Chief: I don't think that's a wise decision, Copper. It's human food and for us, that is yucky. You get what I'm saying, right?

Copper: Oh, okay.

As Copper goes back to his barrel, Chief briefly eyes up to the sky. He silently prays.

Chief: Please forgive me, God. I've lied to Copper! I don't wanna explain to him what our master really is doing inside his house.

Inside Amos's house, we see the whole building reeks of crack and booze. There are even signs of drugs and tobacco. But Amos is doing something really nasty. He is actually having sex with two hired hookers in his bedroom.

Hooker 1: OHHHH F*******K!

Hooker 2: That's it wildboy! F**k that bitch's snatch!

Amos: OH YEAH! C'MON! I'M ALMOST THERE! F**K! GIVE ME YOUR PUSSIES AND TITS, AND I'LL GIVE YOU MY SPERM IN RETURN!

To be continued….

Author's note: That was chapter 10. This time I was doing various sketches from Disney-movies. A Part 2 is probably gonna happen.

Movies belongs to Disney.