...
I Forget (Where We Were) / Part I
Bellamy wakes up to drive the rest of the way back, although the countless protests from Clarke and Wick who suggest they should wake Raven instead. This however, fails miserably and Bellamy's once again at the helm of the SUV.
Kyle climbs in the back, re-claiming his seat and Clarke remains quiet the rest of the way in fear she'll say or do something that Wick's pervious dedcalrement empowered her to. And Bellamy's too focused to notice her hesitance therefore doesn't say anything on the matter, so the deed proves easy for her.
They both listen to the alternative rock station on the radio and watch as the snow falls blissfully on the open road before them.
It's nice. The music. The white landscape before them. The clear-headed space that seems to dwell Clarke's way. And in that moment she decides she likes road trips.
...
It's early noon when they reach the cabin. And as the SUV pulls into the snow covered stone driveway its inhabitants pile out on the deck in a warm welcome.
"You guys made it!" Octavia shrieked in excitement as she ran ahead downstairs to meet them. "Hi, O." Bellamy grinned opening Clarke's door. In the back Raven yawned awake, completely pleased to see she slept the whole way as Wick ran to the back popping the trunk open.
"You guys, tired, hungry, all the above?" Octavia went on making her older brother chuckle. "All the above, but mostly tired—at least this one is. She didn't sleep at all." Bellamy motioned over to Clarke who was still seated in the passenger, her legs hanging off the side as she took in the fresh clean air around them.
"Clarke!"
"I am fine, O." The blond quickly cut her off, throwing a look Bellamy's way. She liked sleeping in beds, nothing more.
"I just need a bed," The blond exhaled rather loudly jumping out on her wobbly feet. "just a nice, big, warm bed to myself and then a cup of coffee... or three." Clarke continued on missing the confused expression on the Blake sisters face.
"I'm guessing you guys didn't tell her?" The brunette groaned, from the corner of her eye she saw Bellamy round the corner of the car with their luggage. He stopped making a face. "Oops?"
"Tell me what?" Clarke perked up, standing to stretch her legs.
"We forget..." Raven grimaced. Octavia rolled her eyes. "Guys..."
"Anyone care to share?" Clarke exhaled in annoyance. She was too tried to cypher all their cryptic messages.
"Okay. Um. Well... since Kyle here tagged along, I won't be sharing with you anymore, obviously..." Raven revealed. The blond shrugged. "That's fine, I mean that was already kind of a given Raven, you don't ha—"
"Oh, that's not all." Octavia warned, crossing her arms. Clarke frowned.
"So it looks like we're sharing, roomie." Bellamy reveals noticing Clarke's lack of patience at the moment. "Wait, why, aren't there en—"
"Nope. Not enough rooms." He confirmed nearly throwing her carry-on in her arms. Clarke stood there for a moment, blinking as the news settled before her. "Wait, so you're saying I have to share a room with..." She turns to face the amused expression laced to Bellamy's face. For the sake of Octavia's presence she gawks at him. "Seriously?"
"Sorry." O offers her a cautious smile.
And Bellamy just grins, throwing enjoying the looks on Clarke's face. She was completely caught off guard. The blond looked between the Blake siblings in shock.
"You two are fine, though, right?" The Blake sister trailed off, attempting to make the deal sound better. "I mean, you're good friends... you..." But she stopped, realizing it was not helping the situation at all.
"I guess this is what happens when all our friends are in relationships, hu, Bell?" She exhales meeting Bellamy's glance with an a small amused smile only he could detect.
…
"Bed!" The Blond exhaled nearly throwing herself on nicely press bed before them.
Bellamy chuckled, shaking his head as he dropped their bags to the floor and shut the door behind them. "I hope everyone realizes the reason for this little vacation, because I'm climbing in here and never coming out." She declared with muffled words through the sheets. She felt Bellamy's weight sink into the space beside her. He let out a large exhale and closed his eyes. "This little arrangement couldn't have worked any better." He revealed through a smile for it was him who suggested he and Clarke wouldn't have a problem sharing when the issues first presented itself.
Clarke shook her head,turning his way. "You don't happen to have anything to do with this little arrangement, do you?" She teased.
Bellamy shrugged, "I don't know." He revealed, dimples appearing. The Blond just shook her head, clearly amused. "Bellamy Blake, you're the devil."
"You can say that one more time... Nap?" He suggested shortly after.
Clarke nodded pulling together all the energy she had to sit up and take her chunky jacket and sweatshirt off, Bellamy doing the same beside her before they settled under white sheets. "Lights." She groaned. She was already starting to get groggy from the promise of sleep.
"I got it."
"Curtains." She frowned turning to face the empty side of the bed where Bellamy would occupy.
"On it."
She smiled a sudden warm feeling exploding in her chest as she heard him reply. It was almost as if this was the norm. Clarke hugged the soft warm pillow as the light in the room dimmed and Bellamy climbed in beside her.
"Space heater." She mumbled through shallow breaths, snuggling closer to him. Bellamy chuckled at her strange nickname for him but took it as it came. "That, I am." He wrapped his arm around her back and closed his eyes.
The shadow of falling snow engulfed behind the curtain as sleep took a toll on their exhausted bodies.
…
When the sleep peels from her eyes, Bellamy's absence becomes reality for she wakes up alone. The lights are off, and the curtains are still drawn, but this time instead of crisp afternoon sky, what faces her are a myriad of orange and yellow tones that dance the sky.
She was out for most of the day.
Clarke climbs out of bed, attempting to rub the sleep from her eyes as she opened the curtains and digging around her luggage for something clean and comfortable to wear. In the end she decides on a nice pair of leggings and chunky sweater and carries them to the bathroom.
And she's ten minutes into her shower when she hears a pair of heavy boots enter the bedroom, then the connecting bathroom, disturbing her clear headed peace. But she doesn't mind, she knows who it is.
"Hey, Clarke?" Bellamy's voice bounces off the tile walls, and she can't deny the way her heart thuds when she hears his husky voice.
She quickly grabs her towel, shutting the shower off and taking a step outside the glass cubicle. Steam pours around them as she meets his gaze with a smile.
"Is this important?" She questions teasingly. Bellamy stands by the door, bright panted smile upon his face, dark hair dusted with snow. She can almost smell him the pine and cold frost from where she's standing and the only thing she wants to do is get closer to him. A grin appears on her face as she takes his whole figure in.
"We got the christmas tree, thought you should join us." He states, and for some reason, his eyes falling to the ground the moment he realizes she's almost half naked. It wasn't like he hand't seen anything before—he definitely had, he just felt like an intrusion at the moment.
"Yeah, I'll be right out."
...
When she emerges from their bedroom, laugher and cheers erupt from the large upscale living room and as she turns the corner she can see why. The whole gang stood around the christmas tree in awe, most of which were raising beers in toast of.
"I see the tree is here." Clarke greeted with a smile as she joined them all, but her eyes were planted on the half snow covered, twelve foot pine that stood before them all. The thing was magnificent and for the first time in that winter, Clarke felt the christmas spirit.
"Look who finally woke up from hibernation!" Jasper hollered with a grin, as the rest followed with their teasing remarks. "Are you gonna sleep the whole vacation, Clarke?"
"Probably!" She joked catching a beer Monty threw at her.
"Man, you guys really knew how to pick her." She mumbled once again getting old in the tree's beauty.
"Yeah, yeah, the boys did a good job." Octavia shrugged with a teasing smile.
"Alright, lets get this thing decorated." Raven shouted picking up the box of ornaments Octavia had complied together from home.
And they do. Raven and Octavia start in the middle, saying their technique worked because it brought out balance within the tree, but Kyle and Jasper ignored them, placing globes where ever they pleased. Clarke stuck to the top of the tree, needing a ladder to climb up there, Bellamy handing her ornaments from below as Maya and Lincoln and Monty struggled to untangle the large wads of coiled up lights.
It took and two hours of Jaspers endless jokes, Octavia's menial fits, and Bellamy's history trivia before the tree was completely coated in sliver and red—the color scheme of this years christmas, as Octavia had official stated.
Everything was set, everything that is, but the star on top of the tree.
Bellamy held it in his hands just almost handing it to Clarke who was still at the top of the ladder, before a voice behind spoke out. "Why does she get to put the star on top of the tree?" Bellamy turned to meet Jasper who's second grade question nearly annoyed him. He could see the playful smile on his face as he shook his head, he was only toying with them, attempting to make this a little more harder than it had to be for amusement proposes.
"'Cause Clarke's already on the ladder?" The blond stated in third person, merely mocking him.
Jasper crossed his arms, smirking and shrugged. "What if I want to put the star on the tree?" He challenged. "You've got to be kidding me!" Maya shouted from behind the tree, shooting her boyfriend a glare.
"Just leave it alo—"
"All I'm saying is—"
"Guys can we just not—"
"—Fine! You want to put the star on the tree? Then do it." Clarke declared wanting nothing more than to get off that ladder and back to the leveled ground.
"Wait I wanna do it!" Octavia cried out. And suddenly there was a full blown war before them. "You're not climbing up there, O." Lincoln protested rather quickly before catching himself and stopping awkwardly.
"Why can't my sister go up there?" Bellamy peered at the two of them in confusion.
"Uh…" Lincoln froze in horror, trying desperately to keep his cool but failing. "S-She—"
"You know what. I shouldn't, actually!" Octavia cut him off backing away next to Lincoln. "I just don't like it when she climbs things, she's a little… unpredictable?" Lincoln offered poorly. Everyone could tell they were acting strange but said nothing knowing it was probably nothing.
"Alright then…" Bellamy mumbled.
"Can someone just put the damn star on the tree so I can plug these lights in already?!" Raven shouted from the wall where was getting impatient with their stupid little debate.
"Wait, how come Raven gets to plug in the lights!" Jasper started one more hoping to get them all rilled up.
"Jasper I swear—!" Raven threatened as Kyle attempted to calm her down.
"Bellamy, give me the damn star." Clarke mumbled one hand clutching to the latter the other extended towards him. He reached up, giving it to her and as the blond placed it on top of the tree, Maya approached her boyfriend with a sweet scowl. "Why do you always have to do this?" She questions nudging him playfully in the ribs. He just wraps his arm around her shoulders and whispers to his amusement. "Because it's fun."
"There! Raven, lights please."
"You got it, boss." And the christmas tree lit up before them.
Bellamy handed Clarke her bottle after he helping her down the ladder.
"Thank you." She smiles biting her lip.
He doesn't say anything just gazes her with these eyes filled with an emotion she can't quiet place before they both turn their gaze to the tree.
"Well... Merry Christmas guys!" Monty cheered raising his beer in the air, the rest following in line.
"Merry Christmas."
…
After dinner they debate over what movie to watch. After a ten minute battle between Love Actually and Die Hard, the latter wins. The boys claim it was a christmas movie and the girls simply didn't have the energy to fight them on it.
It was a nice, slow, night—one most of them, desperately needed.
They were accompanied by the crackles and glow of the soft burning fire, and the snow that deemed blue in the night.
It was perfect. Warm, safe, whole.
And Clarke wanted to stay like there forever. Surrounded by the best people on earth. She had to give it to Octavia who's plan was to take the week for vacation, she didn't realize how much she needed one until she took it. It was nice not having the hectic and stressful environment of work around her.
It was nice laying there with her friends.
It was nice leaning against Bellamy as she drifted off to sleep.
…
She woke up in bed. Their bed.
Disoriented and a little confused she slowly sits up. Bellamy's sound asleep beside her and the night that stood behind her curtains told her it was probably still the middle of the night—or at least early morning.
She shifts over to check the clock.
3:24am
Early morning was right. And for some reason she wasn't tried, but that didn't stop her from laying back in bed under the warmth of the blankets that twisted around her ankles. She smiled to herself not having the memory of feeling so at peace. So tranquil.
Clarke turned to her side and faced the lump sleeping beside her.
He was on his back. One arm extended behind his head. She smiled, gazing at him. Her eyes tracing the outline of his gorgeous profile. And in that moment she allowed herself to admit it. From his messy curls and freckled face, to the slope of his nose to the tip of his chin, she loved him.
There was no going back. And it terrified her, because once again they broke a rule.
Well—she broke a rule. Their number one rule:
No Feelings.
Chapter inspired and titled by Ben Howard's, I Forget Where We Where, and Slow It Down by The Lumineers.