Tucson:

Dean grabbed another beer from the cooler. It was weird to be sitting outside with a bunch of people around a fire pit after being alone for so long. Only this morning he had thought that he was the last man on earth.

He couldn't believe it when he saw that truck screech to a halt and his little brother get out of the passenger side. It was a typical Winchester reunion, followed by Sam introducing him to the second Phil Miller of the day. Strangely, the sight of the two men splashing each other with water, tossing salt at each other's faces, and cutting themselves with silver knives before hugging hadn't seemed to surprise Phil at all.

Now he was in Tucson with five strangers and Sam. Quite an improvement, he thought as he eyed the ladies appreciatively. His confidence had taken a momentary hit after striking out with Carol this morning, but she was clearly insane. He gave all three women his best smile.

Melissa viewed Dean's filthy flannel shirt, ragged beard coated with pie filling and general slobbish appearance and sniffed. Gayle and Erica moved closer to Sam.

Dean couldn't figure out why all the women kept giving him dirty looks. Wasn't he Dean Winchester, handsome, charming rogue? Something wasn't right here.

Dean mentioned his meeting with Phil #1 and Carol that morning. The reaction wasn't what he expected. Todd looked embarrassed; Melissa smirked when Dean described Phil as a douchebag, and Phil #2 looked stricken at the sound of Carol's name, and stalked off to his house. Apparently they'd had a thing, and Phil #2 was still carrying a torch for her.

Gayle and Erica also decided it was time to call it a night. Dean looked hopefully at them, only to receive a couple of ice-cold stares. Oh well, there was always Melissa.

Melissa rose, turned to Sam and Dean and said, "Goodnight guys, see you tomorrow. Come on Todd, it's time to go to bed," before heading to her house. Todd followed. Several minutes later, the song 'She Drives Me Crazy' reverberated throughout the neighborhood.

Dean was speechless. What was a hottie like Melissa was doing with a bald chunker like Todd?

Sam must have read his expression because he asked, "Have you looked at yourself lately, dude?"

Dean snorted. Of course he'd looked at himself lately, well maybe not lately. The bathroom mirror at the Biggersons had gotten awfully dirty, and Dean wasn't a cleaning lady. Still, there was no way his uncommonly good looks had changed much in only two years.

Sam was more than glad to tick off the reasons Dean was striking out, "You smell like a goat, you're covered in pie filling, you haven't shaven in who knows when, and you're fatter than Todd. Just what did you do for the last two years, anyway, eat pie?"

Dean was stung. It's not as if he'd spent all his time holed up at Biggerson's stuffing his cakehole with the contents of the pastry shelf, just the last . . . 22 months.

"What did you live on for two years, canned salads?" Dean counterattacked.

"I found an organic farm outside of Tupelo and lived there until I decided to move back to Palo Alto," Sam said.

Look at Mr. Goody Two Shoes, he probably remembered to floss his teeth every night too, Dean thought.

"Which house is yours?" Dean asked.

Sam turned slightly red and said, "Uh dude, I'm staying with Gayle and Erica right now."

Once again, Dean was speechless. First the blonde hottie was shacked up with Mr. Potato Head, then his baby brother had ended up with not one, but two hot women. It was unnatural.

While he was thinking this, Sam had apparently been babbling on about some guy named Tandy's house being empty. "You can stay there. Phil rigged up a shower," he was saying.

Dean conceded defeat. He'd stay at Tandy's house; he'd even take a shower. Tomorrow he'd make plans to get at least one of the women away from Sam. After all, he was Dean Winchester.