Chapter 10

It was just perfect. So perfect. The sun was shining through the tinted glass windows, the air was crisp and bright. There was a church choir singing their hymns just waiting for her to arrive. Everybody wore their best and a trail of soft, white feathers tickled the floor. It was perfect except for one thing; it wasn't her wedding. Holly's big day had arrived so quickly. Christmas had been and gone and Louisa stood in her bright purple dress which was slightly ill-fitting now. As she slowly walked down the aisle just before Holly, the raw, gut-wrenching emotion hit her like a train. Just two and a half months ago, it was meant to be her, with Martin at the end of her short walk, waiting to spend the rest of his life with her. Anyhow, she took a sharp intake of breath and gave her wide smile to anybody who cared to look. Louisa herself looked very beautiful although she did not feel it. She could just feel the dress tightening around her tummy, a little, round bump was beginning to form although she was fairly certain nobody would notice at this early stage. She hadn't told Holly yet, she would wait until after the wedding. And so down Holly walked with a few gasps from the guests. It was a brilliant white dress with feathers on the shoulders. The trail behind the dress looked like it was about twenty feet long and absolutely everything Holly wore was covered in diamonds. It was probably the most expensive dress Louisa had ever seen, it was definitely 'out there' but Louisa expected nothing less from the ever- eccentric Holly. She laughed and despite her ordeal, she was overjoyed for Holly, 'Absolutely everybody deserves to be happy' Louisa thought.

The ceremony proceeded smoothly and the reception was now taking place in some posh hall that Holly had found in a suburb of London. Louisa didn't know very many guests but she recognised a few from her time in College and she sat mainly next to Kate and a few others from St. Barton's. The food was delicious and the wines and ales were flowing nicely- it was just a shame she couldn't have any but she felt happy. Sort of. Seeing other people happy made her happy. Louisa coughed slightly- such a dry throat, must have been the cheesecake she had eaten for dessert. She needed some fresh air so she put on a light cardigan which she had kept in her clutch bag just in case.

The grand venue sat on the most picturesque grounds. It was beginning to get dark but the hundreds of outside lamps gave a warm feeling to a very cold evening. There were freshly trimmed, rolling hills and the grass that she stood on was still wet from the frost but this was the closest she'd felt to home in such a long time. There was the raucous roar of everybody in the hall enjoying themselves and the hushed sound of the motorway was never far away but no matter how much she'd try to convince herself over the last two to three months, City life was not for her. She belonged in amongst the greenery with the 'swish' of the sea right by her side. Busyness was not what she liked- it wasn't what she knew and it wasn't something that she could get used to. Could she bare watching her child grow up in such a fast, insignificant place? She wondered before concluding, 'No' she whispered to herself. Suddenly, without warning, somebody tapped her shoulder. She nearly jump out of her skin.

'What are you doing out here? It's freezing!' It was Kate.

Louisa tried to catch her breath after that fright.

'Sorry, Louisa. Sorry. Are you alright? You were a million miles away there' Kate put her hand on Louisa's shoulder. They really had got along so well and Kate had been exceptionally supportive. She even let Louisa do a bit of teaching at times too, without Holly's knowledge of course.

'Yes, just...thinking, but hasn't it been a fantastic day!?'

'Yeah! Can't say I was shocked with all this expenditure though, that's Holly all over, hey!' Kate and Louisa nodded and giggled.

'Anyway...' Kate continued '...How's baby?' Kate whispered, 'All ok? How was your second scan?'

Louisa instantly beamed, 'Oh it was perfect, thank you. Nearly fourteen weeks now!' Louisa very gently tapped her tummy and loved telling Kate what the baby was doing during the scan.

'It's growing and growing and when they were taking a look, it was so busy! Louisa laughed then continued, 'We tried all different positions to get the best image; lying down, on my side, on my back, sitting up but by the end I think it got a bit tired, looked like she was sucking her thumb!' Louisa proudly spoke of the little life growing and developing every minute of the day. She laughed and Kate did too. Louisa sometimes wondered if Kate was more excited about the baby than she was. Kate was young and hadn't started a family yet but Louisa thought it may not be too long, the way she was cooing over Louisa's.

'Louisa, you are absolutely glowing. You know you're going to be brilliant, don't you?'

Louisa squeezed her lips together, she felt like she wasn't doing a brilliant job so far.

'Hhhmm well things are a bit complicated, with the little one's Dad and so forth.' She sighed. Why did it have to be this way?

Kate gave a reassuring look. 'Well, it's none of my business to ask and I'm sure it's not ideal but it wouldn't matter because this lucky little angel will have you and I know that you'll be perfect'

'Oh Kate' Louisa was humbled. Deeply humbled.

'Oh...and you said 'she'? I think it's a boy! You're carrying low.' Kate winked and walked off with a glass of wine in her hand. Louisa looked at her tummy in shock.

'Carrying what low?' said another voice. Louisa turned abruptly.

'Oh Andrew. Hi. Oh err,..nothing just a little joke Kate and I were sharing. You've brought Lilibeth!' Andrew looked very smart in his navy suit, he was also wheeling a black pram with him.

'Yes! This is her. Just thought I'd bring her out here for a while, get away from the noise.' He said in a gentle manner.

'Ah can't blame you, there.'

'We couldn't make the day ceremony. Lilibeth had her class at Tiny Toads and I really don't want her to miss that- she loves it!'

Louisa admired Andrew. He was doing everything possible to make his child happy and she was obviously his top priority. She had no idea what 'Tiny Toads' was but in just a few months time, she would be in exactly the same situation as Andrew. She could only hope that that she'd manage as well as he did.

'Would you like to say Hello to Louisa, Lilibeth?'

Louisa jumped at the chance and peered into the pram where Lilibeth lay. 'My word, She's beautiful!' She took Louisa's breath away. She wore a baby-pink dress with white tights and she had a tiny silver bangle on her left wrist. She had her beautiful, dark eyes wide open and waved her arms as she looked at Louisa.

'Hello Lilibeth. I've heard a lot about you!' Louisa said happily and gently but she had a feeling of deep, deep sadness. It all seemed to piece together all in a second- Why Andrew was a single Dad to an eleven month old baby, why Lilibeth's Mother was nowhere to be seen and why Andrew looked rather mature to be a first-time Dad. Little Lilibeth had Down's Syndrome. Louisa's heart broke.