JPOV
I wasn't sure why Clary was crying.
I didn't want to ask her why she was crying because maybe if I said something she'd snap out of it and shut me out again.
Something happened between her and Sebastian before lunch.
Clary's small body shook with tears while I held her.
It was hard to comfort a person when you weren't exactly sure what you were comforting them for.
So I sat there with Clary and rubbed my hands up and down her arm in what I hoped to be a soothing manner.
She didn't say anything as we sat there.
She didn't look at me.
She just sat there and cried.
Clary and I were never the closest of friends, but she'd always shut everyone out from what I had noticed.
She shut me out too.
The way she did it though I don't think she even realizes that she's shutting people out and that makes it that much more frustrating.
I'd never said anything to her about it though.
Nobody else said anything about it to her.
I would ask her later though. I wasn't going to continue to let her shut me out.
I wanted to help her.
So I sat here silently holding her while she cried.
Absently I noticed that from where we were sitting nobody could see us right here.
I wonder if that's why Clary picked this spot to sit when she comes out here alone.
Clary's shaking gradually faded away as we sat there.
She didn't pull away from me immediately, but kept her face hidden in my shirt.
After a few more moments she slowly sat up and pulled away from me.
Her beautiful face was red and splotchy from crying.
I could clearly see the path that the tears had fallen on her damp cheeks.
Without thinking I placed my hand on her cheek and brushed my thumb softly against her pale skin.
Her face scrunched up and she pulled away from me.
Clary brought her hands up to her face and wiped at her eyes roughly in what appeared to be a painful manner.
I winced at it.
She looked away from me and quietly said, "Damn I hate crying in public."
I wasn't sure how to respond so I just sat there with her while she kept her face hidden in her hands.
When she looked up her face wasn't as blotchy, but it was still red.
I waited for her to say something to me.
Clary didn't say anything though. She just stared at me while I stared back.
Eventually the bell rang and she pushed herself up and left me alone.
CPOV
Sebastian picked me up to take me to the party.
In his car he held my hand, but didn't say anything to me except for when we got there.
"I'm going to drive you home after the party, okay?" Seb asked quietly.
"Okay." I replied emotionlessly.
We both got out of the car and he grabbed my hand pulling me into the house with him.
For the first hour we stayed close together.
It was weird because we didn't really have anything to talk about.
There was no chemistry whatsoever between me and Sebastian and us dating was really pointless.
A lot of people were drunk by the time I got separated from Sebastian.
Almost everywhere you looked someone was drunk.
I didn't get anything to drink because I wasn't exactly looking forward to getting drunk and fucking everything up and regretting it when I wake up tomorrow like the majority of these people will.
Instead I walked aimlessly around the party with nothing to do.
Part of me just wanted to leave right now, just walk anywhere.
Part of me wanted to find Sebastian and tell him to take me home.
Part of me wished that I never agreed to date Sebastian in the first place, so I wouldn't have been here anyways.
As I walked around I eventually found Jon.
I didn't mean to find him.
I was walking around when I bumped into him.
He had a drink in his hand and was dancing with some girl.
"Watch it fatass." He growled at me before turning away.
I didn't say anything to him.
Instead I walked around some more to try and find Sebastian to take me home now.
Walking around I had looked through nearly every room.
There were a few places I hadn't looked yet, but I just couldn't find Sebastian anywhere.
Eventually I did manage to find him.
Not to my surprise he had some leggy blonde pushed up against a wall and was making out with her.
I'd be lying if I said it hurt me to see that.
The only thing that this situation gave me was an excuse to break up with him.
Without an ounce of sorrow I turned around and began heading towards the door.
I didn't want to be at this stupid party any longer.
The house was becoming suffocating and I didn't like it.
To my surprise when I went outside Jace was sitting alone on the sidewalk.
I walked over to where he was sitting and sat down next to him; I made sure that I kept a respective distance between the two of us.
Jace didn't look at me when I sat down; instead he looked across the street.
We sat in silence for a few minutes until I finally broke it.
I casually looked over at him and asked, "Why are you out here shouldn't you be with your date?"
Jace still didn't look over at me.
"She wanted to start drinking and I'm not really a big fan of alcohol." He shrugged his shoulders while still staring across the street.
His answer surprised me.
I thought Jace was like every other guy on the team who liked to get completely shitfaced and fuck random girls.
The one thing I didn't expect was for him to be out here because "alcohol wasn't his thing".
Jace looked over at me and gave me a small smirk, "I'm not the guy you and everyone else think I am, sweetheart. I'm not really into getting plastered."
When I didn't respond immediately Jace turned away from me to stare blankly in front of him without saying another word to me and the smirk fell.
I wasn't sure what to say to him.
From what I've seen of Jace lately everything I thought he was and did hasn't been him at all.
"Why don't you like alcohol?" I asked him quietly.
He didn't say anything.
I looked over at him to see that he was staring hard at the ground by his foot.
Jace appeared to be lost in thought.
JPOV
Did she really expect me to tell her why I wasn't a fan of alcohol?
That's not really a part of my past that I like to divulge to anyone.
My past belongs to me and it belongs to me only.
I could feel her intense gaze on my face as I stared at the ground by my shoe, but I couldn't find it in myself to look up at her.
Should I tell her why I wasn't that big of a fan of alcohol?
Probably not, it's not like she cares anyways.
-Flashback-
"I said go to your fucking room, now!" my stepdad yelled at me as I stood at the bottom of the stairs.
"But I want to see if Annie is okay." I said stubbornly.
Annie was my stepmom.
"No, Jace! Listen for once in your damn life! Now go to your room." He roared at me.
As an eleven year old I didn't understand what was wrong. They had been good to me until this point.
"What if Annie isn't okay though?" I questioned doubtfully.
"You're fucking mother will be fine." James growled at me.
"No she won't! You're going to hurt her again, aren't you?" I yelled back at him standing up as tall as I could.
"Jace, just fucking listen!"
His breath had that funny smell that dad's had when he came home and mom accused him of cheating.
It was a bad smell, and I didn't like it.
James stumbled back a little and glared daggers at me.
"You really want to see Annie?" He asked quietly.
His sudden change in demeanor made me slightly nervous, but I wasn't going to let him hurt Annie.
I nodded my head bravely at him.
"Well come on then boy." He sneered at me grabbing me by my hair.
He pulled me to his bedroom where I saw Annie laying on the floor.
Her eyes were closed kind of like she was sleeping.
James pushed me and I stumbled a little, but stopped right in front of Annie.
I placed my small hands on her cheeks, "Wake up Annie." I whispered to her quietly.
Annie didn't stir and I looked up to James to ask him why she wouldn't wake up.
When I turned my head to look at him, he through a bottle at me which narrowly missed and shattered on the floor beside me.
"You little bitch. Are you happy now you got to see Annie?" He sneered.
I nodded my head slowly unsure of myself.
"Now go to your fucking room." He ordered.
Slowly I stood up and moved away from Annie.
He teetered on his feet and stumbled as I moved around him.
Once I was out of his bedroom I ran up the stairs and to my bedroom where I looked the door and crawled under my bed trying to get the sight of Annie out of my mind.
-End of Flashback-
Later on I had found out that was only to be the beginning of many nights when James would come home in that weird manner.
When I was old enough to understand they told me he was drunk.
I remember the last night I was them.
-Flashback-
I was sitting down reading a Magic Tree House book with Annie when the front door slammed shut. I jumped out of my chair and looked at Annie who had a look of worry on her face.
"Jace, why don't you go upstairs sweetheart and head off to bed?" She said quickly and quietly.
It may have sounded like a question, but I knew that it wasn't.
She wanted me out of the kitchen before James came into the kitchen.
I nodded my head without saying a word and turned to leave, but I didn't leave fast enough.
"Or the child can stay in here and have a talk with us Annie." James said coolly.
"Dear, it's getting late and he has school tomorrow. I think it would be a good idea for Jace to just go off to bed." Annie said her tone pleading with him to listen.
My back was turned towards them until I heard a slap.
I turned around immediately to see Annie holding her cheek a few steps away from James.
"He stays down here, you got it?" He asked harshly.
Annie nodded her head with tears now falling down her face.
Slowly I walked back towards where they were standing.
James' breath was rancid and I could smell cigarettes from where I was standing.
James stared at Annie not sparing a glance towards me to see if I was actually there.
"You've been spending time with Jace, huh, Annie?" He questioned quietly.
"We were just reading." She answered quietly her eyes cast down.
"We were just reading." He mimicked her, "I don't give a shit. I told you to leave that thing alone. Why are you so disobedient to me Annie?" He questioned her.
"He's our child." Annie cried helplessly.
Faster than I could see James had slapped her once more across the face.
"Shut the fuck up!" He yelled.
I stood there frozen in shock. He'd never really attacked Annie before.
Annie looked over at me and her eyes pleaded with me to leave quietly.
I nodded my head and quietly went upstairs to my bedroom.
For a while I could hear her screams sounding through the house until I finally fell asleep with my bedroom door locked and a chair placed right against it to try and block the monster out.
-End of Flashback-
It turns out that the reason Annie had been screaming was that James had murdered her.
He was drunk and completely gone that night when he came home.
It horrified me.
After that night I was wary of alcohol.
Clary was still staring at me expectantly.
I glanced over at her and said quietly, "We all have our reasons for how we feel."
I'm not going to give a long ass excuse for why I haven't updated. Here it is quickly: finishing the play, ending marching season, and as of now I'm sick, and I have a big science project I've been working on.
I hope you guys like this chapter.. give me some feedback let me know how you feel.
I know it's not Thanksgiving, but I doubt I'll update tomorrow so Happy Thanksgiving to all of you. I hope you have a good one.