Eight blocks from headquarters, Kaoru runs into Heisuke's unit on patrol.
"Kaoru-chan!" he cries. Out of all the men in the troop, only Kondo and Heisuke call her by her given name. Kondo, because he is almost old enough to be her father, and Heisuke, because he is only a year older.
"Okita has been looking for you," he warns her.
"Ah… I lost track of time! How mad is he?"
"Cleaning the outhouses mad."
Kaoru wrinkles her nose dejectedly. "Thanks for the warning," she mutters.
"Go over the back wall. Tell him you fell asleep in the garden," Heisuke offers helpfully. "Good luck, Kaoru." Several of his troop give her reassuring nods and grins.
She bows in thanks and skirts the long way around headquarters, looking for a particular tree. It is easy to climb the pine to reach the top of the back wall, and it is a "secret" favorite of men sneaking home after an unsanctioned evening in Shimabara. The tree has not been cut down as a security risk because from the other side it is a three story drop into the garden behind headquarters. The commanders joke that the tree was their own personal "stage at Kiyomizu-dera," and let it stand. Several men broke their legs after sake made them brave enough to make the jump instead of climbing down with a rope. Kaoru does not have a rope with her, but she doesn't need one. She is one of the few people in the troop who can leap from large heights and land safely.
She climbs the pine and finds the specific branch that she knows she can launch herself from. Tucking her swords into her belt so they lay perpendicular across her belly, she leans out, gripping the branch and testing it with her weight. She swings back and forth for a moment before flipping herself around the branch for momentum, releasing her grip and spinning in the air to land tucked tightly into a ball. She rolls along the ground and comes to her feet in front of the back porch. Sitting there in the warming sun are Kondo, Hijikata, and the local magistrate.
"Impressive," the magistrate breathes.
"Oh, Kaoru-chan…" Kondo blushes, trying to save the situation.
Kaoru drops to her knees, bent double in the deepest bow she has ever performed. She digs into her sleeves and then proffers the packets. "Your ink stones, Hijikata-sensei!"
"Such dedication!" the magistrate sighs sublimely.
"Thank you, Kamiya-san," Hijikata grinds out, and Kaoru knows she will be very fortunate if he spares her life. "You may take them to my office and await me there."
Kaoru winces, but she manages to bow even deeper. "Yes, sensei!" she yelps, and then she exits the garden as quickly as honour will allow. Once she is through the house, she heads straight for Hijikata's office, ignoring the calls of her comrades. She sits seiza in the centre of the room and prays to all the gods until she hears footsteps stalking down the porch. The shoji slides open with a crash, revealing the Oni Vice-Commander, with Kondo and Okita behind him. Kaoru has a brief look at Hijikata's handsome face, twisted with horrific rage, before she falls to the tatami to bow with a startled squeak. She begins to tremble even before he starts speaking.
"What, on earth, could have ever possessed you, Kamiya?!" he growls, "Do you have any idea?"
"Now, now," Kondo interjects mildly.
"You will spend the evening confined in the warehouse in meditation," Hijikata barks. "Go. Now."
Kaoru speeds from the room, head down, and goes straight to the warehouse. She sits seiza for a few moments and then she doubles over and cries. She crumples with the shame of having failed, and failed badly, in her duties. She has made the Commander look a fool in front of an honoured guest, brought dishonour to the troop that gave her a second chance and a new home. She has failed her father and deepened the shame of her family. She stuffs her fist into her mouth to silence her sobs, and begs any spirit that might be listening that when she is released from the warehouse tomorrow morning she will not be facing seppuku. If she avoids the sentence she deserves, she may be able to atone for this shame.
"Please Father, forgive me!" she pleads, squeezing her eyes shut. Her head feels heavy and it is becoming difficult to breathe. "I failed!" She sobs over and over, and her stomach muscles ache from the strain.
"Kamiya-chan?"
Okita is standing in the doorway, carrying a tray of dinner. He takes one look at her, weeping on the floor, and then he steps into the warehouse and pulls the door shut behind him. He sets down the tray and kneels beside her. "Don't cry, Kaoru," he says softly. He puts a tentative hand on her shoulder.
"I sh-sh-shamed my f-f-ather…" she breathes, shaking with the effort to control her tears. She is samurai and the daughter of samurai and she must not cry.
"Tell me what happened, Kaoru," Okita offers.
Kaoru draws a deep breath and relates, as best she can between soft sobs, the events in the garden. She cannot bear to meet Okita's eyes, and her fists, resting on her knees, become white knuckled. "I brought dishonour to the troop, embarrassed Kondo-sensei and Hijikata-sensei - "
"Kaoru," he interjects, and he says her name as though she is a well-indulged little sister who is being particularly foolish. She realizes he has been calling her by her given name this whole time. She looks at him at last. He is smiling softly, with a kind and brotherly look in his eyes.
"Hijikata is not angry about the garden," he says softly, "not entirely."
"I don't understand…"
"While your entrance into headquarters was less than desired, what made Hijikata angry was that you were missing, Kaoru-chan." He stares directly into her eyes with deep sincerity, letting his words sink in. "You were gone for hours, Kaoru. Hijikata, Kondo… we were all worried. I went to three ink shops looking for you."
"I go to one on the other side of the river," she blushes, eyes wide with the realization that Okita had been searching for her not to punish her, but to ensure she was safe. "The owner's mother is my friend."
"None of us knew where you were. Imagine how Hijikata would have felt, if we found you dead in the street, all because he wanted to write some silly poem?"
"You know about the haiku?!"
Okita rolls his eyes. "It's not even good haiku, Kaoru! Imagine if you had died over something so trivial."
"I'm sorry…" she murmurs.
Okita sighs and places his hand on top of her head. "Don't scare us like that again," he smiles, tugging playfully on the longer lock of hair on the right side of her face. "We all talk like we don't give a damn, but any of us would grieve to lose a comrade, and that includes you, Kaoru. We're a family, you know?"
"Yes." she agrees, and she gives him a shy smile.
Okita blushes and opens his mouth to say something, but the door slides open to reveal Kondo-sensei, carefully balancing two trays and a teapot in one hand. He takes in Okita and Kaoru sitting close together on the floor of the darkened warehouse, his hands resting in her hair, and the Commander becomes instantly surprised and apologetic.
"Oh! …Souji?!"
Okita's hands fall from her hair, and he leans away from her casually. "I was just bringing Kamiya her dinner, Kondo-sensei." he says.
"Yes," Kondo agrees, "I had the same idea!"
"Well, come in sensei!" Okita grins. "There is nothing for the appetite like eating in a dark warehouse."
"Aha!" The commander laughs, and soon they are settled on the floor, and Kaoru is pouring tea.
"Now, Kondo," Okita says, proffering the lid of his soup bowl to Kaoru in lieu of a teacup, "Tell me all about Kaoru-chan's leap into the garden."
"Ohh!" Kondo grins, "She was magnificent, Souji! She flew through the air like an acrobat and landed without a scratch! And when she held out the ink stones…" Kondo breaks off for a few moments in deep laughter "…it was all I could do to keep a straight face! You should have seen Toshi's face; I swear to the gods I thought his head would explode."
Okita slaps his knee and joins Kondo in his laughter, and Kaoru chuckles uneasily and clutches the teapot.
"I am sorry, Kondo-sensei, for interrupting your meeting this afternoon," she blushes.
"No!" he cries, "You have done me a great service Kaoru! The magistrate was quite taken with your display of devotion to your duty. He was greatly impressed with the unit because of you."
"Truly, sensei?"
"Truly Kaoru-chan." He pauses in his meal to bow. "Thank you again, for your dedication. We'd be lost without you, that is certain."
Kaoru flushes again, toying with her sleeves. Okita beams with a proud smile. She knows that Okita values Kondo-san's opinion above all others, and to win his praise, in front of her unit captain, lessens her embarrassment. She favours them both with her bright, real smile, and they are both momentarily dazzled. "You honour me, sensei," she tells Kondo, and the Commander blushes.
"Oh, Kaoru-chan! Eat, eat before your meal is cold."
"Yes, sensei."
"Aha, just Kondo. When we are gathered informally like this, please call me Kondo, as Souji does."
"Kondo," she agrees, giving him another one of her smiles.
"Then I'll be Souji," Okita offers, holding out his lid for more tea. She blushes and reaches for the teapot. It is one thing to call the Commander by his family name, but quite another to call Okita-sensei by his given one. He is only four years older, and her direct superior. As a woman of the samurai class, it is only proper to call family members and those of the lower classes by their first names. But she remembers Okita's hand on her head and his brotherly smile. We're a family, you know?
"Yes, Souji," she says as she pours his tea, and he grins at her.
As they continue their meal, Kondo describes in detail Kaoru's impressive landing, the shades Hijikata-san's face had turned. Souji shoots Kondo a conspiratorial grin and admits to him that Kaoru knows about the haiku. Kondo's eyes grow wide with delight, and he and Souji begin trading some of their personal favourites from Hijikata's collection. Kaoru laughs until her sides feel as though they will split and tears are streaming from her eyes. Kondo stands to recite a particularly solemn one with proper air, and Souji claps his hands, giggling uncontrollably, begging him to perform another. Kaoru leans back and basks in the warmth of the scene created by these two men; she feels light and safe and home in a way she has lacked for some time. She is certain they have shared many such pleasant meals together, and she is touched they have thought to share this one with her, making her a member of their family.
Kondo and Souji are slapping each other on the back, they are now laughing so hard, and Kaoru shakes her head indulgently and begins clearing up the dishes. She will keep this moment of happiness with her tonight as she sits in the warehouse, and when she is called in the morning before Hijikata-sensei, she will endure whatever punishment he assigns, because she knows now that he does it out of this special kind of love.
"Kondo-sensei?" calls a voice from the other side of the door, and for a moment they all freeze. "It's Saito Hajime."
"Ah, Saito-san." Kondo says, entirely composed, as though it is perfectly normal he should be taking his dinner in the warehouse and he had been expecting the third unit captain to stop by.
"The Vice-Commander wishes to speak to you."
"Thank you, I will go now."
Kondo gets to his feet, and opens the door. Before he steps through, he speaks to Souji over his shoulder. "I believe Kaoru-chan has been punished enough. I will inform the Vice-Commander that I have placed her under your authority for any further penance."
"Yes, sensei," Souji says softly.
Kondo nods and leaves the warehouse. Souji tells Kaoru to take the dishes to the kitchen and ensure they are cleaned, then instructs her to retire for the evening. "You and I will train tomorrow before dawn, Kamiya-chan." he concludes.
"Yes, sensei!" Kaoru bows deeply and then continues to gather the dishes while Souji and Saito stand in the doorway.
"Kamiya-san," Saito says, "what kept you in the ink shop for so long?"
Kaoru halts her work to look at the third unit captain. Saito-sensei is often a cypher, and his face is unreadable now. He is reserved, almost shy, Kaoru thinks, and he only speaks when he feels there is something to say. Kaoru thinks Saito is often misunderstood. She does not forget that it was because of him that she was able to join the troop in the first place. She has made an effort to know him, but others who have not are willing to believe he is hard and cruel. There are rumours amongst the men that Saito is a spy, for Hijikata, for the lord of Aizu, even for the shogun himself. Kaoru thinks the rumors are just that, but something, in that moment, warns her to be cautious.
"The mother of the ink shop owner is my friend," Kaoru says truthfully. "I helped her bring her washing in once."
"Ah." Saito says simply.
"She invited me for tea, and I lost track of time," Kaoru lies, though most of it is true, too. "I am sorry for the worry I caused everyone. It will not happen again."
Saito nods, and Kaoru, at last finished stacking, balances the trays and exits the warehouse, heading for the kitchen. Souji and Saito watch her go.
"Kamiya-san seems different," Saito observes once she is out of sight.
"Yes," Souji agrees, remembering when she had turned the force of her smile on him. "Kamiya-chan has always seemed closed off. Today I think she has truly decided to join us."
"Perhaps her visit with the ink-seller's mother has invigorated her spirit."
"Yes," Souji says again, "I think you are right, Hajime."