Author's Notes: Hope you guys enjoyed the little bit of humor I tried to throw in with Aidou's PoV from the last chapter. I felt it necessary considering I doubt he would have been standing guard and not have noticed anything that was happening. Anywho, back to Yuuki's PoV.
Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Knight or any of the characters in it, these all belong to the wonderful Matsuri Hino.
Yuuki now lay on her back, hair sprawled out messily across the pillow that her head rested on. She was running one of her hands through Zero's silver hair, whose face was nuzzled in her neck, his arms wrapped around her. Her eyes were closed, her lips curved into a soft smile as she replayed the events of the last hour in her head. Warmth filled her, from the tips of her fingers down to her toes. She sighed, not from frustration but from having felt complete release and comfort, nothing she'd ever known before. What pleased her even more was that she'd been able to share it with someone she held very dear, and she knew he felt the same. Her heart was at ease, her mind at peace in this warm moment.
Neither spoke a word for a while. Zero's silence eventually began to bother her, but at the same time she was relieved because it occurred to her that he was either lost in happy thoughts, or he was trying to figure out if and what this all meant, and his questions would only lead to more confusion. That was the problem, after it was all said and done, she wasn't sure what any of this meant.
As her thoughts shifted from those of utter bliss to ones of concern, they became scattered and her heart torn. Of course, coming back down to reality, she knew that there was someone she was supposed to go home to and that man was not the one who she had just made love to for the first time. Her heart sank, but she refused to let her expression waver as Zero slowly lifted himself to look at her. She could practically hear the gears in his head creaking as they turned, searching his eyes as he continued his silence in an attempt to discover what was running through his mind.
She couldn't stand the discomfort she was starting to feel at not knowing what he was thinking, so she broke the tension by gently kissing him. The gesture seemed to be a success as Zero immediately closed his eyes, deepening the kiss. She felt relieved at this, and hoped it would be enough of a distraction to keep him from potentially souring the sweetness of the evening. At first his lips refused to leave hers, causing her to smile when he finally forced himself away so that they could actually breathe. 'Why can't things be easier..?' She loved this man a great deal, and the thought of possibly having to leave, or worse, lose him again wracked at her heart.
Kaname was extremely important to her as well, and of course she couldn't have them both in her life. It was as if she were back to that day over a year ago where she'd told Zero goodbye, except this time, she couldn't do it.
Yuuki pulled herself from her painful thoughts only to find that Zero had dozed off next to her, one of his hands entwined with hers. His expression was peaceful and she admired just how beautiful he was, wishing she'd noticed all those years they'd been together. She'd been too busy fawning over Kaname to even realize her own feelings for her adopted brother.
Then suddenly, it hit her. What would she tell Kaname? How would he react to this if he told her? If she decided to keep it from him, would he find out anyway? She shook her head at herself. 'There's no way I could keep this from him, even if I wanted to, he might see it in my memories when drinking from me...' A sudden feeling of panic washed over her. This had been what she wanted, she didn't regret what she did with Zero in the slightest, the repercussions of the whole ordeal had just failed to cross her mind until now. Her chest tightened and she held back tears. Her elder brother was so unpredictable at times. For all she knew he'd do anything ranging from forcing her to stay in the mansion unless she were leaving with him, asking for her to kill him again, or going after Zero. That last thought was too much for her to bear, she'd rather die than have harm come to either of them, especially from the other's hand.
She sniffled as the tears quietly poured down her cheeks, and felt Zero stir. She looked over to him and saw his lilac eyes staring into hers, his face covered in concern. She quickly wiped her tears and forced a smile, but he had already seen all he needed to know that something was bothering her.
"What is it..?" he quietly asked her as he sat up and gazed at the wall. She shook her head in response, "It's nothing, don't worry yourself, I'm fine." She reached out to take his hand and he shrugged it away, still not looking at her. "You're a terrible liar," he whispered, pain in his voice, then made his way out of the bed towards his clothing on the floor.
"Zero, really, it's nothing. Please.." she begged, holding more tears back. She could feel what he was thinking, knew that he'd be under the impression she was crying because of what they'd done. "I should have stopped it, I knew.." he paused as he put on his jeans, "I knew you'd regret it in the end." She heard the frustration in his words, and the sadness in his tone that he failed to mask.
"No!" she exclaimed suddenly, getting off the bed in a hurry and wrapping her arms around him from behind. "It was.. it was perfect, Zero. I don't regret it, in fact I'm so happy that I was able to share that with you.."
He said nothing to her, instead turning towards her to meet her eyes. Their lips met again, then he kissed her cheek, following down to her neck. She was in a daze at the gentleness of his mouth trailing down until she felt the prick of him biting her and gasped, surprised. He drank only for a moment, then pulled back, licked the blood off her neck, and turned away to start getting dressed again. She stood there, confused. "What was that -" she started, but he cut her off.
"You weren't lieing about not regretting it, however it seems you're worried about what that bastard is going to do when he finds out. Always, always he somehow ruins a perfect moment, whether he's actually present or not." There was venom in his voice as he finished that last sentence. "And of course, I'm sure his little princess who, although she doesn't regret what she did, will still go running back to him. I'm a fool..." He was clenching his fists, his face still turned away.
Tears again poured down her cheeks. "It's cruel of you to do such a thing to read my thoughts" she choked out, "though I guess I can't blame you. Zero, I... I love you," she watched him tense as he heard her speaks those words, still not turning to face her, "and the thought of ever losing you again is too much for me to handle. You must understand though the position I am in."
"I understand all too well, Yuuki." This time his voice was softer, "You love both Kuran and I." He turned to look at her finally, slowly making his way towards her. His forehead touched hers gently as his left hand brushed her cheek. His lips were so close to hers, his other hand grazing her chest, heading down her stomach slowly, causing her to shiver. "I know, though, that only one of us makes you feel like this," he breathed, referring to the chills he had just sent through her body, and the aching she felt between her thighs.
"If you go back to him, I.. I would like to be able to say that I won't be here waiting," his eyes were now downcast as he spoke, concealed by his long bangs, "but we both know what happened the last time I tried to make a claim like that. I just wish that in your heart you could be mine, my Yuuki, not this girl who can't choose. Either way my feelings for you will not change, no matter how much I try to harden my heart." She was shocked to hear him bear himself to her like this, knowing that it must have taken everything in him to admit to this weakness. "No matter how hard I try, I will never be able to deny the truth I saw when I drank from you. Your mouth can lie, but that cannot..." He trailed off. She lifted his chin with her hand to find several tears running down it, then hugged him tightly. They stood there holding each other, neither sure of what to say. She didn't want to let go, scared that if she did he might slip through her fingers again and disappear.
Time passed as both continued the embrace, not speaking a word. Yuuki's eyes opened, and she looked out the window to find that it was dark out and the moon was bright and beautiful. The tree outside rustled and moved in the wind. She had to squint slightly as she thought she saw a figure of an animal on it. A knot formed in her throat as her eyes widened. 'How did I not sense it!' she desperately asked herself as the small bat seemed to make eye contact with her, then flew off.
:o what's going to happen next?
PLEASE review, feedback is so so nice and there seems to be a great lack of it in comparison to the amount of readers I get coming through (though I do appreciate all readers as well!)