"POTTER, STOP THIS AT ONCE!"

Professor McGonagall's shrill voice is echoing with rage across the first floor corridor. And it's not even past noon yet.

I am standing with Remus and Emmeline at my side, a mere ten feet from where Severus Snape is currently being levitated forcefully from his ankles for all of the hall to witness. My book-bag has been abandoned onto the floor below me, and my hands are clasped together with nerves as I gaze up at the disastrous scene ahead of me.

James, who has his wand outcast up at Snape with a look of loathing plastered across his whitened face, doesn't budge. Instead, he gives his wand a little casual tip that sends Snape jerking this way and that.

"Potter, I'm warning you!" McGonagall shrieks again. I want to walk up and slap some sense into him. We had only been passing by when we noticed the commotion and came running over.

"James, please, cut it out, mate!" I hear Remus plead from my side.

"He hurt her!" James replies, not unlocking his gaze from Snape, who is panic stricken and silent above us.

I have a feeling I know who 'her' is.

"I won't let him hurt her," he says again. I notice his wand is trembling slightly. I haven't seen James this distraught in...well, ever.

"Regardless," McGonagall says warningly. "You must put the boy down or I will be forced to use magical force on you, Potter!" She takes her out long wand out from her emerald cloak.

James, looking conflicted, darts his eyes from the professor and back up to Snape.

"Now Potter, or I will revoke your Head Boy status this instant!"

"Frankly, I'm surprised they haven't already," Emmeline mutters offhandedly to my side.

James looks like he is about to give in when there is a loud shout from behind us. We all whip around to see a certain Head Girl.

"James! What the bloody hell are you doing?" Lily's shocked face is reddened with apparent fury.

She marches to James and practically tackles him, grabbing the wand from his hands. Snape immediately drops to the ground with a painful sounding thud.

"You dare-you git, I can't believe-" Lily is fuming as she repeatedly slaps James, on his shoulder, chest and head.

"Oi, stop it Evans. I was defending you!"

"Defending me? Oh isn't that a lovely pile of tripe?"

"Evans-Potter-both of you stop this at once!" McGonagall attempts to break up their scuffle, but it is no use; Lily has altogether dominated James and has thrown him against the wall, her wand pointed intimidating at him.

"I swear on all that is sacred, Potter-" She looks ready to hex him.

"I have never seen a Head Girl and Boy behave as such!" McGonagall says in shock. She disarms Lily with a quick flick of her wand and does the same with James. Snape smiles vindictively from the ground.

"Blimey, I'm only giving that prick-" James pauses when he says this to glance with disgust at Snape. "-what he's deserved ever since speaking to Lily again -"

"No James, you don't get to decide that. For the last time, stay out of this," Her voice is pitiless and firm as she turns on her heel and walks over to help Snape up. The two of them walk off, the back of Lily's auburn head seeming to taunt James in defiance.

"Well, that's just jolly good then, eh?!" James shouts deadpan after her. "Go on," But the gathering of students has begun to dissipate as people move back onto their regularly scheduled day. McGonagall, however, has not forgotten.

"Potter, over here. Now." She gestures with her pointer finger to him. Her lips are pursed and white with anger. James, looking purposefully defiant, strides confidently over to her and follows her down the corridor (no doubt to a detention room) as if they were merely heading to lunch.

"What a bloody idiot," Emmeline mutters as we turn.

Remus is silent and troubled.

"I thought he was over that stupid phase…" I pick my bookbag back up and swing it over my shoulder. The weight of it feels particularly burdensome today. "I thought he had put his dim bullying tricks behind him last year."

"I know…he hasn't pulled any of this rubbish since last year…" Emmeline agrees.

"I just don't get it…." I continue, staring vaguely onto the floor as I walk. "I really thought he was growing up…he's been so great lately," I recall our conversations in the kitchens and forest; he had seemed so genuine and different than the pompous boy I was usually used to being somewhere between annoyed and amused with.

Remus gives a short, humorless laugh. "Well perhaps to you. But to me he's been a bloody wreck. He hasn't stopped talking about Evans at all lately, it feels like. And ever since Snape and her started talking again…"

"Wait, is that was this was about? Lily being friends with Snape again?" Emmeline interrupts furtively.

Remus shrugs. "Isn't it always?"

"Since when has Lily been friendly with Snape again? I thought that was over last year?" I ask. Last year was the last time I had ever seen Lily talk to Snape. Something had happened between James, Sirius and Snape, something that was never fully explained. I had been able to surmise it involved a dangerous prank that could have left Snape injured, but I was never able to find out what. And Lily, it seemed, had finally given up on her friendship with him, then, too.

"James told me that he saw her talking to him the other day, and now apparently he's hurt her somehow?" Remus explains as we turn the corner and head down the dimly lit corridor that leads to the Transfiguration classroom. The room is lined in cream colored candles sitting in rusted sconces on the light stone walls and already crowded with students waiting for the lesson to start. This was one of the rare classes all four Marauders and I shared.

"But what did Snape do to hurt her?" Emmeline wonders, recalling James angry outburst.

"I dunno…" Remus replies. "I feel like something's going on that we haven't been told about…"

Emmeline and I take our seats in the middle row of tables. Remus, however, hangs back. I know he's waiting for Sirius to come so they could sit in the back together. As they always did. As we used to.

I sigh to myself as I sit down and take out my textbook. Peter arrives now, looking worried. He makes eye contact with Remus and shrugs, before taking a seat with him.

"I feel so bad for James…do you think they'll take away his badge?" Emmeline whispers nervously to me as we wait for class to start.

"I'd be surprised if they didn't," I reply darkly. "James has gotten so many detentions already…"

But I quickly tighten my mouth and stop talking as Lily Evans enters the classroom. Her face is still red and she's clearly been crying. McGonagall is fast on her heels, looking sternly but sympathetically after her, dragging James behind her. She silently points to the open chair next to Peter and Remus and James obligingly takes a seat, his face still set in anger.

"My apologies for the lack of promptness on my part, class," McGonagall says firmly, not raising her bespectacled gaze to us but rather immediately opening her book at the blackboard.

"Only McGonagall would apologize for lack of promptness," Emmeline says out of the corner of her mouth. I have to bite my lip to keep from inappropriately smirking.

"I'm sure you all saw the excitement out in the corridor," the Professor continues wryly. "But I assure you it has been handled so we may now all desist with the chattering." She raises a sculpted brow at the lot of us and there is a wave of silence.

"Now, let us please shift our focus to page ninety-five…" The Transfiguration teacher raises her long wand and waves it over her book, which nosily flips its yellowed pages to the correct section.

I notice Lily sink a bit in her chair. I exchange a pointed glance with Emmeline as we quietly and dutifully open our own books.

"So, how many detentions are you getting?" I hear Remus ask James. I steal a glance to my side to judge his response, but James is still silently fuming, and makes no attempt at a reply. Remus gives me a worried look. This couldn't be good.

After nearly a quarter through the lesson, as we are all watching McGonagall give a tutorial of a Switching Spell, the classroom door creaks open loudly again. I immediately crane my neck over to see what numbskull has arrived so late to class.

And it's Sirius. He surreptitiously tries to sneak his way into a seat, tiptoeing. But naturally, McGonagall has noticed.

"Charming us with your presence, Mr. Black?" she calls over to him, in an almost bored tone, without lifting her eyes from her book.

"My apologies, Professor. I got caught up," Sirius says in a rather faux-gracious tone. But I notice his face is darkened and there is a hint of anger in his expression.

"Well perhaps you will avoid getting caught up next time in order to arrive promptly. Five points from your House, Black. And I will hear no more of your nonsense excuses, as I have heard quite enough tripe today already," The Professor replies sternly. There is an audible wave of groans from my fellow Gryffindors at this. We had only just pulled ahead of Ravenclaw this morning, and now this coupled with the points we had undoubtedly lost due to James' idiocy meant we would be in last place for sure.

But I'm too distracted, surveying his odd expression. Something's not right…

He takes his seat grumpily on the other side of James, who still is staring absently and angrily off into space. Sirius matches his expression. It would almost be amusing to see these two boys, sitting like twin statues, if I wasn't so worried about the pair of them.

I am focusing on scribbling down notes on the lecture, taking in McGonagall's words on the Piertotum Locomotor spell.

"The spell's main success comes in the combination hand movement and voice, which is defined by a rhythmic ascension and unwavering diction. Now class, I will demonstrate before turning it over to you," McGonagall says, drawing her wand and pointing it at a miniature knight chess piece. The class waits in in anticipation and intrigue as we survey our teacher

"Piertotum Locomotor!" McGongall commands, waving her wand up and down in decisive succession. The chess piece springs to life and proceeds to draw its sword at the class in an apparent attempt at intimidation.

"There we are, quite easy on such small objects. This is how one would enchant and program a Wizard's Chess Set," McGongall says as Ricky Frell lifts his feet to protect from the charging knight's sword as it prances around the room. The class laughs.

"Can you use this spell for anything larger?" Ricky asks, looking nervously at the chess piece as though the thought of anything larger was nightmarish.

McGongall mercifully utters the counter-spell and the knight returns to its frozen form. "Yes, but the larger the object, the more difficult the spell becomes. One must have a careful hand and years of experience to animate, say, a full sized statue, for example,"

I see Peter turn to James and hear him mutter, "Or perhaps one of those Suits of Armor? Can you imagine the havoc we could wreak by enchanting those?" But James, who normally would have thrilled at the idea of such a prank, barely acknowledges this and just gives a shrug.

"Now, I have prepared a chess piece for each of you to practice on, and you should have succeeded in animating your piece by the end of the lesson in forty-five minutes!" McGonagall says as she levitates a large trunk with her wand, which opens to reveal twenty chess pieces which begin distributing themselves to our desks. I am given a King, and I take out my willowy wand to begin my attempts.

"Please come to my desk when you have succeeded in animating your piece so I can mark you off!" McGongall shouts over the clatter of students practicing.

"Piertotum Locomotor!" I say, trying to make my voice as commanding as the Professor's had been, mimicking her hand motions. My King vibrates slightly, but doesn't spring to life the way the Knight had. I bite my lip, trying to focus, and try again with little luck.

I give a sidelong glance to James, who is only half-heartedly waving his wand at his Queen piece.

"You know, this would be bloody easier if mine would sit still," I hear Remus groan, as his half-enchanted piece's legs carry its frozen top half around in circles on his desk.

"Yes, got it!" Emmeline shouts in triumph, as her Knight prances boastfully around our table, knocking over my piece as it does. I stare hopelessly at my little King, his crown chipped slightly from the collision.

Finally, many attempts later, we all manage to animate our pieces and McGonagall lets us go, but not before harshly reminding us of our looming term essay due in a month.

"You go on ahead to lunch, Em," I say outside the classroom. Emmeline opens her mouth to protest, clearly thinking I was going to skip another meal in favor of avoiding Sirius, but I quickly stop her. "I need to talk to Sirius, I'm worried about him," I whisper. She raises a knowing brow and gives me an approving nod.

"I'm so proud. Don't sod this up again, Rors," She says in a voice that I can only assume she means to be encouraging. And so we part ways outside the classroom, a I hang back, waiting for Sirius to come out.

But when the Marauders finally come out, Sirius looks past me, not stopping when I give him a meaning look. I notice James is missing, and I peer back into the classroom to find him being lectured again by McGonagall, not doubt about his display before class. When I turn back, the three other boys are already halfway down the corridor.

"Sirius?" I call, picking up my pace to follow them. "Can I talk to you?"

He stops in his tracks. The other boys give me surprised and questioning looks as they turn around to face me. Sirius, his face still anxious and preoccupied, gives them a nod and hesitantly heads back towards me.

"What do you want?" He mutters, raising a haughty brow as we move to the side of the corridor, near the window.

"Sirius, I just…" I am taken aback, unsure where to begin, as I twiddle my fingers nervously. My mind flashes to our kiss, his prompt departure, and his troubled face today. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay,"

He gives me a confused glance. "Just peachy, thanks," he says sarcastically.

"Well, you look upset," I say impatiently. "I can tell when something's up with you,"

He contemplates this, his face still as tense as before. But he doesn't immediately reply so I continue apprehensively, "It's no secret Emmeline's been urging me to talk to you, and after the other day in the Room of Requirement, I'm just…confused about us still,"

"About us?" he repeats.

"Well yes, I suppose I'm still a bit confused about the, er, kiss, and if it upset you…" I try explain.

"Upset me?" He repeats again unhelpfully. His voice is strained, and he has to pause to take a breath before continuing, "I wish you didn't say things like that, Rora."

I pause in disbelief. "Like what, exactly?" My voice mirrors the strain in his.

Creases form in his forehead as he growls, "Like…you know everything,"

Surprise etches itself onto my face. "I hardly think that's what I'm saying-"

"That's what it sounds like," He cuts me off.

"Well I'm just trying to make sure you're alright, okay?" I snap, offended at his apparent outrage.

"You think I'm alright?" He laughs humorlessly and runs a hand through his long hair.

"Well, that's why I'm checking up on you-" I begin, becoming annoyed now.

"You don't need to check up on me. You have no idea what's up with me, okay?" He snaps. "You have no idea what it's like to be me,"

"Sirius, I'm not saying-" I try to explain, but he cuts me off again.

"Just forget about it. I'm fine. Carry on with your day. I'll see you later," he waves me off as he turns on his heel, and I notice him taking out a flask from his robe pocket as he stalks off.

My mind is reeling in bewilderment. I have to bite back tears from forming in my eyes. Once again, a fantastic success at cooperation and communication done by the infallible Aurora Mockinglow. I shudder at the thought at explaining this mess to Emmeline later…

"You alright, Auora?"

I turn to face James, who has evidently just been freed from McGonagall.

"Don't you have a detention to be serving?" I snap, trying to hastily wipe my eyes in embarrassment. James face is a bit hurt and surprised, but I notice him glance at my tear-moistened cheeks in pity.

"Everything's gone to shit," he murmurs darkly, following Sirius's path away from me down the corridor. "Absolutely everything,"

* * *

Later on, I am sulking in the corner of the Common room, my nose hidden behind my thick clothbound Transfiguration textbook while Marigold helps Emmeline practice the Piertotum Locomotor spell beside me.

"Merlin, if I can't get this bloody thing tap dance in the next thirty seconds, I will hex something," Emmeline grumbles through her teeth as she struggles to enchant her hairbrush. I can see Marigold try not to laugh.

"This is why I for one am so glad I'm not taking Transfiguration this term," Marigold says. "I'd be bloody useless at this stuff,"

"And yet you find Divination stimulating?" Emmeline snaps scornfully.

"Madame Serfina is my mentor," Marigold says seriously. "I have a strong aura,"

Emmeline not-so-subtly rolls her eyes. "And I have a strong desire to hex you,"

"Here, let's just try a different object…how about this bookend?"

I try to drown out their arguing as I read, but my mind is not taking in much, so I gaze out of the window for a moment. I see that it has started to snow lightly, the small white flakes flitting past the leaded-glass windows sporadically. I think ruefully of the Astronomy work I meant to get done tonight, which would now be impossible in this weather.

"What are you lot planning on doing for Christmas?" I ask suddenly, interrupting their chatting.

Emmeline looks round to me quickly, her cropped black hair swiveling around her neck as she does. "Well, I'm not staying here, that's for sure,"

"Me neither, not with intruders and security," Marigold agrees. "I thought I'd visit home and then go by James' like usual,"

I sigh. I had forgotten about the Marauder's annual Christmas party James held at his parents house in Godric's Hollow. All of the Gryffindors in our year who left Hogwarts for the holidays and who were lucky enough to live close to James would be there.

"You?" Marigold asks me curiously.

"Yeah, I'm going home and then I suppose to James'," I mumble reluctantly. "But I can't guarantee I'll be in a good mood for it,"

"Well after your second disastrous conversation with Sirius, it's a wonder you haven't buried your head in the sand by now," Emmeline gripes.

"I tried, its not my fault he decided to bite my head off!" I retort, shooting her a glare from behind my book.

"Well, maybe you should have snogged him again, that seemed to work last time," Marigold points out obligingly. I give her an equally mean glare.

"Except it didn't," I reply with acid in my voice. "If you haven't noticed,"

"Certainly would have been worth a try,"

"Shut it, Goldilocks,"

"Now now children," Emmeline warns with her usual reprimand.

"Look, let's change the subject," I say.

"You brought it up," Emmeline murmurs.

"Well, what about that Gargoyles gig in London over break?" I say, ignoring her.

Emeline perks up at this. "Right, I forgot about that. Still want to go?"

"Well, Sirius had offered for us to stay with him and James at the house afterwards," I say slowly. "Though I'm unsure the offer still stands,"

"Sod that, its James house, not Sirius's. James will still let us tag along," Emmeline says confidently.

But I'm skeptical. "Well, I'll have to speak with James about it, but he was not in such a great mood after class today either."

"Rightly so, after his immature display today," Emmeline rolls her eyes. "Are we the only sane ones around this bloody castle?"

"Apparently," Marigold sighs.

"These bloody boys will be the death of me…" I mutter.

"They'll be the death of themselves if they don't start acting like adults soon," Emmeline says, returning to her bookend. "Now, let me try this bloody spell again…"

But Emmeline doesn't get a chance to continue, because we suddenly hear the opening of the portrait hole and look up. It's Marlene McKinnon, followed by Ricky Frell. She looks absolutely distraught, he hair in a state and her puffy red eyes look like they've shed tears recently. She is clasping a letter in her hand as she dashes up the dormitory stairs. Ricky, his large green eyes concerned, calls desperately after her but she's already gone.

"What happened?" asks Marigold immediately. Ricky looks over at us and says quietly, "She just got a letter…It's from St. Mungo's. Her mum's been admitted…she was attacked by Death Eaters last night."

Marigold puts a hand to her mouth with a gasp. "Why?" she asks, her voice cracking. "I've met her mum before, she's the sweetest…how could they?"

"She wasn't given more information beyond that, I'm afraid," Ricky answers. "I'm going to go to Professor McGonagall, I've got to let her know, for Marlene. I think she's going to try to leave to go see her." He looks nearly as upset as Marlene did.

I am suddenly feeling quite ill. The portrait hole opens again, and Remus enters, looking as worried as I feel as Ricky rushes past him.

Remus gives us a questioning glance as he sees our pale face.

"Marlene's mum was attacked last night," I explain, trying not to attract the attention of the younger students around.

Remus' eyes widen in fear. "Death Eaters?" he whispers.

I nod solemnly. Emmeline exchanges an apprehensive glance with Remus, her dark eyes worried.

"They've taken her to St. Mungo's," I say.

"Why would they attack her?" Marigold asks absently, her eyes brimming with tears. "I can't imagine her being involved with that lot,"

"She's Muggle-born." Emmeline says flatly. We exchange looks, knowing she has voiced what we all were fearing to be true. Her voice is low and concerned as she continues, "Marlene told me once…"

"This is all too horrible, I'm going to go get her some flowers right away," Marigold says quickly, getting up and dashing to our dormitory.

My head is swimming with thoughts. I knew these attacks were happening. I had heard about them all summer. But suddenly knowing someone directly connected sent a terror through my spine like I had never before experienced. I swallow and gaze out the window to my left, seeing the veiled stars shine weakly down towards us. I am suddenly stricken with panic. I needed to write home as soon as possible…if Marlene's mother was targeted, so could my mother…or my father by association…or even me….

I look back to Remus. "I can't bloody handle this, Remus. None of it. First Sirius, now this…"

Remus stares at the floor for a moment before continuing, "That explains…" he trails off his brow furrowed.

"What" I probe.

"Sirius," He says, meeting my eyes again. "He's been a wreck today, and I left him just now, he looked in a bad way, he must have heard…"

Panic rises in my throat as I desperately ask, "Where did he go? Do you know?" Something was telling me to go to him, now.

"No idea," Remus says in confusion, but I'm already out the Portrait Hole, ignoring the muddled yells from my friends behind me. My mind is racing as I try to think where he could be, the single image of that flask on my mind. For some reason, I head straight to the Astronomy Tower.

When I reach the top of the many flights of stairs, I am short of breath and my chest is heaving, but I don't care. I find Sirius, slouched down against the railing, holding the flask in his hand. His face is in his hands.

"Sirius," I say, going to place myself beside him, taking in the strong smell of alcohol. The tension and anger I had felt towards him earlier melts away at my relief in finding him (somewhat) safe.

He looks up at me, tears streaming down from his grey eyes. "I'm so sorry, Rora. So sorry…"

"Shhh," I try to comfort him.

"Rora I'm all messed up. Everything's gone wrong," he chokes and winces, after taking a drink from his bottle.

"No, this isn't your fault," I say.

But his eyes widen. "It was her,"

"Who?" I ask softly, holding his arm.

"My cousin. My delightful cousin," he slurs with a humorless smile.

"What are you talking about?" I try to take the flask from him as I do, but he resists.

"Bellatrix. She attacked Marlene's mum, it was her," he coughs and lets out a strangled sigh, and puts his head back into his hands.

"What? How do you know?" I ask desperately.

But Sirius doesn't answer my question. "I can't escape them. My family…" He slurs, taking another deep drink.

"Sirius this isn't your fault," I say firmly. "This has nothing to do with you,"

"Yes it does," I can see his eyes have become watery. "It's all my fault,"

"You. Are. Not. Your. Family." I repeat. I want so badly for him to stop this toxic way of thinking, of blaming himself. I am terrified of the way he clutches so desperately to his bottle of whiskey. I am terrified of what that means.

"Lancaster…" Sirius mutters, turning away from me.

"What about Lancaster?" I demand, suddenly confused. "What does he have to do with anything?"

"Yesterday, after our detention, he cornered me...threatening me,"

"What?" Fury rises in my stomach.

"He knows things, Rora…" Sirius's speech is becoming increasingly slurred.

"What do you mean?" My anxiety heightens. I had always had a bad feeling about him, it was true, but a Death Eater?

"He was in it with my parents the whole time,"

"In what?" I prod further, fearing his answer.

"He wants to infiltrate Hogwarts from within…to spread the Death Eaters ideology,"

"Sirius, what did he ask you to do?" I ask resolutely.

"He told me to "fulfill the Dark Lord's request of the Pureblood kin", or something…just all kinds of bollocks…" He trails off.

"What the bloody hell does that mean?" I ask.

"He wanted me to join the Death Eaters," Sirius responds simply. "Or…something terrible would happen, as a warning."

"So you think he ordered Bellatrix to…to…?" I can't bare to finish the sentence.

"He ordered Bellatrix to attack someone close to me if I didn't agree, as a warning," Sirius says. "My parents are behind it too…this summer they wanted to recruit me to the Death Eaters, too…"

My mind flashes to our first day back at Hogwarts, him and I sitting by the lake…Sirius had been telling me why he had left his home.

"My mother and father they…wanted me to do something. Something I would abhor."

I lean back against the railing, trying to process this. "So Marlene's mum was targeted,"

Sirius nods, his face still screwed up in pain and despair. "He must have found out from my parents that I had spent time with Marlene's family over the summer, when I was avoiding being home. And it's all my fault,"

I try not to let my sudden twinge of jealousy hinder my sense upon hearing this. "But Sirius you have to tell Dumbledore, the Ministry needs to know that Lancaster is involved with the Death Eaters," I urge quickly.

"No," Sirius shakes his head frantically. "Lancaster threatened my brother, if I tell"

"Regulus?"

"When I told him to sod off, that I wanted no part in their War, that I'd already moved out, that I'd go to Dumbledore, he said he'd offer Regulus up to the Dark Lord himself,"

"He can't, I won't let him," I hiss, making to get up. I had to tell someone, there was no way this could stand. My hate for Lancaster threatens to boil over. I wanted to strangle him, to hurt him, to cause him the same pain he had caused Marlene and her family and Sirius.

"No Rora! Please!" he pleads, pulling me back. "I have to figure this out on my own,"

"How?" I ask weakly. "They might order an attack someone else!"

"I don't know, but I have to handle this. It's my battle to face," Sirius says desperately.

"How am I meant to carry on? Just go to his lessons like nothing's changed?" I ask incredulously. I would not. I could not.

"That is exactly what we have to do," Sirius says, seeming to sober up as he looks at me intently. "We can't let him know it's gotten to me, or that you know, it could put you in danger,"

"I can't," I shake my head. "I can't act like nothing's changed, there's no way,"

"No, we say nothing. You say nothing. I won't have you in danger," Sirius says, lifting his hand and holding my cheek. I let my gaze meet his desperate grey eyes. I could see he was scared. I could see he was worried. And in a strange way, there was a comfort there for me, that he still cared for me and our friendship. But my fear was real now. My anger was justified.

In defeat, I slump back my shoulders. "Sirius, I'm scared," I whisper, holding back tears.

"I am too, but I have to think of a plan first," Sirius says, taking me in his arms.

And then, without knowing who started it, we're kissing, and it's soft and gentle and so so different than our stupid first kiss in that stupid room on that stupid day and I want to cry and shout and scream and keep kissing him and forget about everything. I didn't want to face the days ahead anymore, I didn't want to return to our common room, to face Lancaster, to live in a world where these things happened.

I gasp for breath and deepen our kiss. I keep my eyes shut, not wanting this blissful moment to end. I could forget the world around us when he kissed me. Even though he was drunk and I was crying and our friends were in danger and it wasn't supposed to go like this, I feel safe for a fleeting moment.

"Rora…I can't…" he says suddenly, breaking our kiss and moving his hands from mine. "I can't do this…"

"Sirius…" I try to begin, to make sense of what we were doing. He eyes bore into mine, filled with sadness and fear and everything I was feeling deeply within my soul at this moment.

"I can't be with you, like this," he whispers, squeezing his eyes shut in some kind of pain that I could only guess at.

I swallow thickly. "Why?" I ask desperately, selfishly, pleadingly.

He opens his eyes. "You deserve more than me, than what I'll get you messed up in," he says sadly. "I'm damaged goods,"

"You aren't," I say urgently. "I can help you, Sirius,"

Sirius looks conflicted. "You can't. No one can anymore,"

"No," I say, stroking his cheek, tears pooling in my eyes. "That's not true,"

"I can't involve you in this, not after what happened to Marlene's family today," Sirius bites his lip as it trembles. "I have to protect you from this,"

"You can't protect me," I whisper. "No one can,"

"I have to try," he says, and gets up, leaving his flask behind on the stone floor.
I try not to let the sob fighting to leave my chest escape.

"Sirius please, don't," But his mind is made up.

"Then go," is all I can say, my voice callous, as I watch his silhouette walk away from me, and I can barely breathe as I take his empty whiskey flask and angrily chuck it off the side of the railing.

* * *

A/N: Thank you so much to everyone that has been reading my story so far! This story has been a long time ambition to finish and I'm finally in a place of inspiration and (free time) that will allow me to progress it and finally move the story along.

Please leave reviews of what you think! I welcome constructive criticisms since I want nothing more than to improve my writing and craft the very best characters and plot that I can :)