Disclaimer – I own nothing, am not making a profit from anything related to Labyrinth, all original characters owned by Henson et al.
AN: As always, thank you very much for the reviews and PMs. I try to respond to them all, but if you have not heard from me, know I am grateful for the feedback.
Huge thankyou to my wonderful occasional Beta Whenasinsilks, your time is very much appreciated and your feedback spares me from looking like an illiterate wombat.
Note: As stated before, if you need to keep track or refresh your memory of the contestants and their backstory/agenda, please refer to chapter 7. However, for quick reference I have listed the characters at the bottom of this chapter and will be moving it to the bottom of chapter 1 onwards – a good idea I have nabbed from Kbates!
GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~ GK~GK~ GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~
Sarah Williams opened her eyes to a wavering image. It took a few seconds, but the image gradually morphed into the shape of the goblin from the previous morning, carrying a tray with the familiar frothy and smoking concoction. Said goblin didn't utter a word although she had raised her eyebrow, a gesture eerily familiar to that of the Goblin King, whilst waiting for Sarah to reach out and take the magical hangover cure. Sarah gingerly raised herself up on her elbow and reached out for the drink, her head swimming as she desperately tried to quell the rising nausea. On completion of the medicine, Sarah collapsed back onto her bed with a very loud groan, her entire body ached. The goblin left, again without a word and Sarah was grateful for the quiet. For all of about two seconds.
"She's up all night 'til the sun, I'm up all night to get some, She's up all night for good fun, I'm up all night to get lucky!" Susan sang at the top of her voice from Sarah's bedroom doorway.
Sarah's only response was a giggle snort, followed by a whimper.
"SOOOOoooooo, what happened to you?" Susan asked as she walked over and plopped herself down on the edge of Sarah's bed.
"I don't know," Sarah opened her eyes and tried not to move as she answered. "I went to the pub and was given the 'usual' for patrons, it's called goblin ale 'surprise' and I am NEVER touching that shit again," Sarah whined, running her hands down her face.
"OK, that's how you got in this state, but that doesn't tell me what you did," Susan prompted.
"What do you mean?" Sarah asked, starting to get a bit nervous.
"Well you rocked up here in the arms of the Goblin King, way past your curfew. And you were unconscious," Susan sniggered.
"Oh!" Sarah said as her memories came flooding back. Then moaned "OOHHHH Fuuuuuuuck!"
"So, did we stay out and get lucky? Cause judging from the sappy look on his face when he laid you down on your bed, I would say you've got this competition thing in the bag!" Susan said, bursting out laughing at Sarah's expression of horror.
"Bullshit!" Sarah exclaimed, "You are joking, right?"
Susan got off the bed and started heading to their lounge, humming away to Daft Punk.
"Susan, you are winding me up, right? SUSAN!"
GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~ GK~GK~ GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~
Half an hour later found the girls in the dining room, partaking of a buffet style breakfast. It did not go unnoticed that Sarah was holding herself very gingerly.
"What happened to you, Champion?" Sabine asked, helping herself to a second cup of coffee.
"Night out at the pub," Sarah said, on observing the questioning looks she was receiving she elaborated. "Don't ask. But don't touch the goblin ale, that stuff is serious," she advised her fellow contestants.
"That would explain a hangover, but you seem to be having trouble walking," Rhiannon commented, smirking at her.
"Damn girl, you already getting some action outside competition rules?" exclaimed Shante, "Man that is fast work, I may have underestimated you!"
"NO! For the love of Christ!" Sarah exclaimed, wincing in her discomfort "There was NO action of that kind, I just got pissed and fell off the bar and landed on my arse."
"Really?" said Shante "Cause the last time I walked like that, I had one in the pink and one in the stink-"
"WHHOOOOAA!" Sarah shouted.
"TMI Latimore!" Jaime exclaimed.
"I think I'm going to be sick," gagged Crystal.
"What does that even mean?" squeaked the innocent Kitty.
"I'll tell you when you're older," Susan said, leaning over Kitty's shoulder to grab the last bagel.
"Ladies!" declared Tariq, who had just entered the dining hall. If you could please bring your beverages and make your way to the Common Room, I will outline the plan for the day and the fashion show this evening.
The girls quickly headed towards the coffee decanters.
"You sure you're okay, princess? How on earth are you going to catwalk tonight, you can barely walk normally!" Susan said to Sarah.
"Fuck knows, I will see if Tariq has some strong painkillers and just wing it I guess," Sarah grumbled, picking up her coffee and shuffling to the door.
GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~ GK~GK~ GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~
Once they were all assembled in the Common Room, Chun hurried in.
"Sorry I'm late, I was having breakfast with His Majesty," she chimed with a huge smile on her face.
"That's right, it was your turn for the 'get to know ya", so how did it go?" Jaime asked.
"Well-" began Chun, but Tariq called for quiet and began to address the girls.
"The goblin seamstresses have worked through the night to complete the gowns, as per your designs and instructions. You will have the next five hours to alter and accessorise your gowns, you will have a team of seamstresses available to help you. In addition to the alterations, you will also need to select the music arrangement you would like to present the gown to and also choose hair and make-up, again we have a team here to assist you with this. Your gown must be finished, you must have eaten, and you must be bathed and ready for hair and make-up backstage by seven o'clock, the fashion show will begin promptly at nine o'clock. Any questions?" Tariq asked.
"Will there be anyone to show us how to cat-walk? Not all of us have modelling experience," Darla complained.
"Yes, we have a director who has already arrived and will be taking you through what you need to do," Tariq answered.
"I saw a couple of guys with cameras in the main hall on my way down, will this be televised?" Freckles asked.
"Yes, that is the other thing I wanted to announce, thank you Miss Cherry," Tariq said. "The High Council have requested that the competition be run as it would Above, with film crew access to the challenges. However, we have asked that they not follow you around and film you in secret, we want you to be yourselves," Tariq confirmed.
"So they are only going to film the actual competitive event?" Sarah asked.
"No, they have asked for the option to interview you all after the event," Tariq said. "You know how it goes, you face the camera looking beautiful, and tell them your thoughts on what happened to yourselves and to the other contestants, a bit like a diary room scenario."
"Are we expected to make shit up and throw shade at one another?" Susan asked.
"No, well, I am sure that would please the production crew, however please let me remind you that this will be shown in the Underground, members of the High Council and the Court will be watching and you want to create a favourable impression," Tariq urged the girls.
"So, does everyone get to vote? Is there going to be some kind of fairy-phone-in or something?" Jaime asked.
"No, His Highness makes the decision regarding who stays and who goes," Tariq said, he then looked towards the open door and then leaned closer to the girls. "However, I can tell you that the High Council have requested a voting system be set up, to ascertain your popularity amongst the Court."
"Why would they bother doing that? If the decision is strictly His Majesty's" Crystal asked.
"Because, Miss Hudson," came a voice from the doorway "the Court are a nosy bunch of gossips who want to have their say."
Everyone turned to see the Goblin King leaning casually against the door frame. One eyebrow raised and his gaze fixed on Tariq, who clearly was not supposed to be divulging Court business to the contestants.
"Impeccable timing your Majesty," Tariq twittered, nervously glancing around. "Maybe you would be best placed to answer the ladies' questions?"
The Goblin King's gaze turned icy towards his Steward, secretly enjoying him squirm. In all honesty it was not Tariq's fault, he had not fully briefed him on what could and couldn't be relayed to the Winners. However, Tariq was well aware that the King did not like information to be shared indiscriminately.
"Good morning ladies," Jareth inclined his head. "So, I understand you have questions?"
After ten minutes of bombarding the Goblin King with questions, ranging from the craftily intelligent to the downright inane, and during which he gave away next to no useful information, Jareth decided to close down the discussion. "Well now we cannot make it too easy, can we?" he quipped. This was followed by numerous complaints and even one girl was stupid enough to call out "That's not fair!" The Goblin King pinched the bridge of his nose and cursed the fates that put him in this position.
"Ladies, you managed to solve the Labyrinth! Yet you are getting yourselves all worked up over a fashion show. Surely this should be a 'piece of cake'?" the Goblin King patronized, his gaze fixed on Sarah during his final comment.
Sarah rolled her eyes at the vainglorious King and shifted uncomfortably, wincing when the base of her spine collided with a cushion.
"Miss Williams," came the low growl.
Sarah's eyes flew towards the Goblin King again.
"You will come with me," Jareth turned and headed out the room, it was not a request.
Sarah grimaced and eased herself out of the chair.
"Time to get your wrist slapped, you dirty stop-out," chuckled Susan.
Sarah flashed Susan a concerned look before hobbling towards the door.
GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~ GK~GK~ GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~
Jareth showed Sarah into his study, it was the second time she had been in this room and this time, she really did feel like she was reporting to the Headmaster's office.
"Sit down, Sarah," Jareth offered as he walked around to his side of the desk and collapsed gracefully into his chair.
"If it's all the same, Your Majesty, it's more comfortable to stand," Sarah replied.
"Ah yes, you did take quite a tumble off the bar I recall," Jareth commented, sprinkling some food into Kermit and Miss Piggy's bowl.
"Yeah, about that. Look I'm sorry if I missed the curfew, but you did say midnight and where I come from, that means the big and little hand pointing upwards," Sarah said, growing gradually nervous at Jareth's stoic countenance. "Also, I was bought these drinks that were too strong for a human bodybuilder, let alone a 120-pound girl, I couldn't see straight let alone tell the time-"
"Sarah!" the Goblin King's clipped tone brought her rambling to a standstill, she was waiting for the snake to come flying at her. "Am I your father?"
"What? God, I hope not!" Sarah replied.
"Then why are you wittering on as if I am about to ground you?" Jareth asked, a slight smirk appearing on his face, he was enjoying this.
"Well you said turning me into a pumpkin was nothing compared to what you would do to me if I broke the curfew, and what with you being a mystical sadistic Tinkerbell, forgive me for being a tad nervous!" she snapped.
"Oh my Sarah, we are grumpy this morning, sore bottom is it? And your concern is that I am going to make it much more tender?" Jareth asked lasciviously, causing Sarah to blush furiously.
"I suggested nothing of the sort, judging from your get-up you're the BDSM fan in the room, not I!"
Jareth very slowly tilted his head towards Sarah and rose from his position in the chair. A crop suddenly materialised in his hand and he began tapping it against his thigh, as his stride brought him stealthily towards his quarry.
"BDSM? Could that stand for Bold, Dashing and Sinfully Mysterious?"
"I was going more for Blond, Deluded and Seriously Misguided," Sarah quipped back, glaring up at him and resting a hand on her hip in defiance, although she was very aware of the tap tap tap of the crop not three feet from her.
"Well, seeing as you are so eager for punishment, I had better get down to business had I not?" Jareth's smooth voice wrapped around her, immobilizing her fight or flight sense as his grin spread wider. "Lean over the desk."
"What?" she shrieked.
"I said, lean over the desk," Jareth repeated.
"NO, no no no no, GO FUCK yourself Goblin King, I am not letting you spank me!" she screeched.
Jareth's cackling was loud and long, he gripped the side of the desk as he gazed at her through wisps of his hair, before going into further peals of laughter. "Oh, my precious girl, if you could see the look on your face."
"What exactly is so bloody funny?" Sarah snapped, he's nuts, he is fucking nuts! her mind kept chanting to itself.
"My my Sarah, what a dirty little mind you have," Jareth said. "I was merely going to heal your lower spine, there is no way you can 'catwalk' with a bruised coccyx."
"That is not what you implied, you were talking punishment and then about getting down to business!" Sarah challenged.
"What I meant was, I would get to the matter of punishment, but first I had better get down to business, i.e. the business of healing you. However, if you have a mind for a couple of swipes of my crop I am sure I can accommo-"
"That will not be necessary, Goblin King" Sarah clarified, raising her hand to reinforce the 'don't go there' message. She was mortified at her mistake, however she was also in an awful lot of pain, and quite frankly was prepared to accept a full body massage from a troll if it meant she could walk normally again. She quickly weighed up her options "Are you the only person who can heal me?" Sarah asked.
"Any fae with experience in healing magic could do it, but time is of the essence and I am standing right here," Jareth offered.
Sarah blew out a frustrated breath and pinned him with a contemptuous look. "Very well, Goblin King, you may heal my back. But no funny business. And for God's sake put that bloody crop down, you look like a right twat!" He didn't, but there was no way in the Underground she was going to tell him that.
Normally Jareth would take exception to her spiteful words, but he was still revelling in her reaction to his teasing, and her sharp tongue was not going to take his victory away from him. He looked at the crop and then back at Sarah. "Another time perhaps," he purred and Sarah bristled.
"So Sarah, as I was saying, would you be so kind as to lean over my desk so I can get to the 'affected area'," Jareth sniggered.
Sarah furrowed her brow, raising her shirt as she leaned over the desk.
"I am afraid it requires skin to skin contact," Jareth prompted, an unapologetic smile on his face before he put his gloved fingers to his teeth and tugged them off.
Sarah gaped at him and then moved her hands to the top of her jeggings and rolled them low past her hip bone. I just had to fall on my arse didn't I, couldn't land on my arm or my head, oh no, that would not be humiliating enough would it, that fae prick is absolutely loving this! "Please just get on with it, and not one word about this to anyone, and I mean anyone, okay?" Sarah whined, her eyes practically singeing him before she resumed the submissive position over his desk.
Jareth approached her slowly and placed one hand on her shoulder to hold her steady, before raising his other hand towards the base of her spine. At that moment the door burst open and in walked Tariq followed by the Production Director and a film crew.
"Your Majesty, I have come to-" Tariq froze as he took in the scene before him. There was the Champion of the Labyrinth, spread face down across the King's desk with her lower back exposed, and his Majesty standing behind the Champion, bare handed and touching her bottom. Is that a crop on the desk? his mind misfired and then he sprang into action.
"Out! Out! Sorry wrong room!" Tariq shrilled as he practically threw the film crew from the King's study, their faces all in various stages of shock.
"Ah," the Goblin King said, looking down at Sarah who was frozen in place, wishing she was anywhere else, including dead, at that moment. "Sarah, when you said don't tell anyone, could you be more specific?"
GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~ GK~GK~ GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~
That evening, the girls were backstage having their hair and make-up arranged, there was a flurry of activity and everyone felt the nervous excitement of the coming competition. Sarah gazed at her reflection whilst a fae hair designer lifted the sides of her hair and fastened them into decorative ebony clips, the crown settled into a high quiff with the mass of her hair left to tumble down her back. Her eyes were surrounded by a smoky kohl effect that swept up to meet her equally swept up brows, making her green eyes sparkle against the dark background. The overall effect was startling and acted as the catalyst for the ensemble. The hairdresser looked over at Tariq, both nodding in silent agreement that Sarah would not just be modelling the dress, she would be owning it.
Sarah put on her gown with the help of two seamstresses whilst the hairdresser lifted the length of Sarah's hair, so she could be laced into the dragon-hide corset. This was a tricky exercise, as the seamstresses were having to use enchanted thread and gloves to secure the material. Once laced in, the bottom fabric, a sheer black, silver and grey mesh was threaded through the bottom of the corset, the layers multi-hued and overlapping to create the effect of a flowing skirt. The result being when Sarah walked, the material fluttered in all directions, giving the impression that she was walking through high winds, that she was the force pushing through the elements of the dress. There was also a matching high collared cloak to accompany the dress, reminiscent of the one the Goblin King wore the night he came to collect Toby. On her feet, she wore five-inch stiletto black platforms that ran in a gladiator fashion to her mid-calf, the soles of which were silver. Sarah turned to look at the finished article in the mirror, shocked at her reflection. If someone was instructed to do an artistic impression of The Goblin Queen, this would be it. She not only rivalled the masculine image of Jareth's portrait, she surpassed it. Sarah Williams, screenwriter and owner of a little cottage in Hertfordshire, looked like the most powerful creature in the Underground.
"Wow Princess, you look fucking amazing!" Susan whistled, coming over to stand by Sarah.
Sarah gulped audibly and nodded, "Maybe I overdid the accessorising a tad."
"Bollocks to that. Your outfit is not saying 'I am a contender for the Goblin Crown'. It's saying 'I am the Crown and the GK is my bitch!'" Susan smirked appreciatively. "Change one thing on this outfit and I will kick your ass."
Sarah smiled at her friend's reflection in the mirror and took in her outfit.
"I can't believe you're going to wear that!" Sarah laughed. Susan was dressed in a bright fuchsia chiffon, with a full tutu skirt complete with hot pink Dr Marten boots and electric blue fishnet tights. She looked dreadful as it clashed horribly with her red hair, but when challenged on her design, Susan had promptly told Tariq that this was a creative exercise and surely Susan was allowed to express her creativity. Tariq conceded, feeling that anything was better than the scrap of triangular material, from the initial sketch she handed in.
"You best not get thrown out of the competition for this, I don't think I could cope if you weren't here," Sarah said to Susan's reflection.
"Aww, gonna miss me?" Susan laughed. "I'm a non-conformist Sarah, which means that my design is an honest one. A bit like Shante's over there."
Sarah turned to see what Shante was barely wearing and her eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. "If Shante's version of honesty is 'Here are my genitals, please take them'!" Sarah gasped.
"She's a perfect match for the Goblin King then!" Susan responded, and both girls burst into hysterical laughter.
"Five minutes, ladies, five minutes!" called Tariq, who was buzzing around like a demented wasp, achieving nothing but managing to get in everyone's way.
The girls headed toward the catwalk entrance and peeped through the panels to see the large ballroom filled with nobility and VIPs from the Underground.
"God there must be at least four hundred people out there!" Crystal gasped.
"Merde! I hate crowds, this is going to be awful," whimpered Sabine.
"What on earth are you doing in this competition if you can't handle crowds? You are competing to be a queen for Christ's sake!" Rhiannon exclaimed.
"We're all nervous, let's just calm down," reasoned Crystal.
"Dutch courage anyone?" Jaime said, passing around a hip flask.
"Where the hell did you get that?" asked Darla.
"Borrowed it from Hoggle, he says it's good to ease nerves," Jaime said.
"Hold on," Sarah interrupted "let me smell that." She sniffed the flask and started laughing. "That is peach whiskey, but if it is anything like the goblin ale don't take more than a sip, you will be swinging from the chandeliers singing 'If you like it then you should've put a ring on it'!"
"She speaks from experience of course," added Susan with a snort. "Pass me that flask."
All the girls took a quick swig, "Ladies is everything all ready?" Tariq asked, curious to see what they were up to. Chun nearly spilt the whiskey down her chin as she struggled to hide the flask from His Majesty's Steward.
"All good to go!" they chorused, a little boisterously in Tariq's opinion.
"Okay," the Director said rushing over. "Into position girls." There was a lot of shuffling as they got into order. This time they were going to walk in reverse order of who conquered the Labyrinth, they unanimously agreed that it wasn't fair that the Champion got to go first for everything.
"Cue music," the Director called, "And go!"
GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~ GK~GK~ GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~GK~
Please review, love a review, it makes me feel like I am not talking/writing to myself!
AN: Anyone interested in seeing what Sarah's hair looks like, go to google and type in Jennifer Connelly Profile.
I know I am evil for stopping it there, please don't kill me!
References:
Get Lucky performed and written by Daft Punk, Pharrell Williams and Nile Rodgers (2013)
Single Ladies performed and written by Beyonce et al (2008)
Recommendations:
A Sickness Called Desire by Faeluver – reminds us not to take ourselves too seriously. Warning - For lovers of Parody only.
Character List:
Sarah Williams – currently twenty-four years of age, single, workaholic, foul mouthed
Jareth, Goblin King – vainglorious, sometimes single, conniving and clever but vain
Tariq – GK's Steward, professional, courteous but terrified of upsetting his boss
Hoggle – Dwarf, getting on a bit, well-meaning but selfish by nature
Sir Didymus – clever, sees the bigger picture, chivalrous and loyal, which causes him some conflicts of interest due to his current employer
Couric – a Fae Noble and friend to the GK, always has an angle to play, epitome of a fae, lives like a bachelor but never lonely
Kermit and Miss Piggy - two goldfish that were wished away and are now Jareth's pets.
The Labyrinth Winners:
Chun Ng – aka JC Penny. From Hong Kong, lives in LA, Astro-Physicist, very clever, wished away her dog when drunk to meet the GK.
Shante Latimore – aka The Man-eater. From Connecticut. Overtly sexual, determined but lazy, relies on her assets to get what she wants, but she is not stupid.
Crystal Hudson – aka Blondie. Canadian PR Advertising Executive. Smart, love games and puzzles, resourceful, attractive.
Katherine (Kitty) Farthingale – aka Squeaky. Australian born Filipino, Seventeen-years old, works with children. A bit scatty and naive.
Rhiannon Cherry – aka Freckles. Irish, works for the British Civil Service as a Trade Negotiator. Commercially driven.
Sabine Lennear – French. Can take a grudge a bit too far, wished her boss away as he got on her nerves.
Darla Foxe – American college graduate. Lots of debt and a disappointing life, sees the Underground and marriage to the GK as a sweet deal.
Jaime Barnett – aka Walmart. Fan of all things occult and obsessed with the idea of immortality. Sees hooking up with a fae as her ticket to eternal life.
Susan Briggs - The only other Winner to wish away a child apart from Sarah. She is in effect Sarah's wing man and finds Jareth about as attractive as a Creepy Uncle, she is playing the part of competition contestant so Jareth doesn't take her brother back to spite her unwillingness to be there.