Hey everyone, thank you so much for the beyond kind reviews! Trying to show things from a lot of characters perspectives this chapter, so certain characters may be a bit..OOC lets call it!

Dedicated to my lovely Chryedians over at DS XX

2 weeks later.

Syed sat in the pub waiting for Christian thoughtfully. The only people that knew were him, Christian, and Roxy. He wouldn't of normally chosen Roxy as a secret keeper, but he knew that she was one of the only people who Christian would ever confide in about this, seeing as he was trying to avidly to be the strong man for him.

Alfie looked at him, almost with a sympathetic glance. Syed wrinkled his eyebrows a little, and sipped his orange juice. He didn't want fuss. That's why he didn't tell people. And when was the right time to say "I have a brain tumour"…it didn't have to be common knowledge, it would just be an array of sympathy and reassurance, that he didn't need. He hadn't got his head around it himself. It made everything else seem so minor. He hadn't even thought about telling his parents. Or Tam..what about tam? He would be gutted..then him, being a science genius would probably start turning up to the doctors with him and challenging them, and then it would ruin his studies.

He had just said to Christian he wanted no fuss. Christian sighed, with a small bought of frustration, saying "you never do". He had leaned on Syed's shoulder, and looked out of the window, and for the first time, looking visibly vulnerable and scared. His green eyes had pondered into the distance, he was obviously thinking. That's when the bravado mask slipped.

Christian came in, looking tired and weary. He hadn't slept much since he found out, Syed was always sleeping, he was exhausted, he was ill. That's what kept Christian from sleeping.

Christian was not usually a worrier. Well he was, but he wasn't one of those people who would keep it in a compartment, like Syed. He would tell people, get it off his chest, and then that would be done. But this lingered over his mind, it kept his mind in overdrive, it felt like a machine that he tried again and again to switch off, but it just continued whirring well into the night, Christian would stare at the ceiling, every shadow being revealed to him because of the open curtain. Every passing car, every shout of a drunken teenager, or a group of lads on the way back from the city. He would watch the sunrise, and tell himself that it was another day, things would get better. He was a eternal optimist. But things weren't getting better. The brain tumour hadn't vanished, the only difference was that Syed was on medication that halted the symptoms.

They had said they needed to wait for the tumour to "develop" so they could figure out if operation was the key to success. "Develop?" Christian had cried, shaking off a hand squeeze from Syed, who had absorbed the information like a silent sponge. "Wont that hurt him more?" he had probed, pointing a finger and looking defeated as the doctor told him that it wasn't like that..thats what they all said..

"Got you a orange juice" Syed said with a small laugh, and Christian gave him a tired grin, rocketing himself back into the world

"How you feeling?" Christian asked sincerely, sitting down and immediately feeling a little better at the closeness, thats what he missed even more when he was away fro Syed. Being with him, even in the pub, just was what he needed

"Alright thanks..how was the work out..was it "spare tyre" girl or the one you named a whale?" Syed asked, with a slight smile again. He always did love Christians mindless chatter about his work, they used to spend hours laughing about each client when Syed managed Christians time.

"Spare tyre, and im pretty sure she has had a butt-load of take-aways" Christian sighed, and Syed laughed a little. It felt almost like a stretch, that he was smiling. He hadn't properly smiled in days, every part of him had just been washed in fear, consumed by it. It was a welcome distraction. Something he had taken for granted before. Something he knew would never happen now..

"Heeeeey" came a loud voice, and Christian gave Roxy a wide grin, and a hug.

A slightly baffled Syed was hugged by Roxy aswell, and then he realised. She knew, so this was how it was going to be from now on.

She was going to be nice..well, at least there was one advantage. He chuckled to himself. He knew Roxy only gave him a wide berth because of her love for Christian, but he did find it a little overbearing having Roxy frown at him everytime they argued, or turning up on his doorstep telling him to move away..but that was the past. Everything would change now

"How are you both?" Roxy asked, sitting down with her vodka tonic, and making a small face. What a stupid question. She was never the best at articulating feelings..

"Bearing up" Christian said, boldly, but Roxy could hear that silent quaver in his voice, Christian trying to be strong again. Syed closed his eyes and nodded a little, in agreement, then he caught Alfie glancing over again

"Does he think ive been beaten up or something?" Syed asked, sitting up slightly, paranoid. Alfie didn't know, and he had been shooting him worried looking glances all day

"What? Who?" Roxy asked, wheeling around and catching Christians eye..he hadn't told Syed about Alfie knowing..

"Alfie, hes been giving me funny looks all day" Syed said, wrinkling his brow again, and Christian put on a false laugh

"Im sure he hasn't babe" Christian said, with a stage grin, and Roxy looked at him again, and downed her drink, knowing that she had to do something before Christian wilted

"Let me get another drink" she said, with the subtly of a brick, and left the table.

"No wonder she beat you in that daft shot game" Syed grinned, and Christian tutted with a laugh

"She did not beat me" Christian concluded, laughing again.

"Granddad, what you doing?" Roxy asked, leaning on the bar and talking to Alfie immediately

"What? Slow down Goldilocks what have I done wrong?" Alfie protested, holding his hands up in mock surprise

"Staring at Syed like hes a lost dog!" Roxy replied, rolling her eyes slightly

"I haven't.." Alfie started

"He can see you.." Roxy sarcastically retorted, crossing her arms

"Sorry..I just feel for the guy!" Alfie shook his head a little

"He doesn't want anyone to know, ok Alf?" Roxy tilted her head to one side

"Ok" Alfie admitted defeat, and his eyes darted towards Max and Greg, who were currently making a scene

"You slept with my wife.." started Greg, looking angrier by the second. A horrified Tanya was trying to mediate

"Sorry mate it wasn't meant to happen like this.." Max started, with the smug tone of voice that only he had perfected so well

"Like what eh?" Greg shouted, rising to the bait immediately

"Maybe we should go incase they cause a scene" Christian pondered, and watched Syed roll his eyes in a sense of amusement

"Christian im not going to drop dead if someone raises their voice" he muttered sarcastically, and Christian laughed a little

"I know I know.." he chuckled, sipping his drink

"Guys, just stop" Tanya tried to stand in the middle of Max and Greg, watching them square upto eachother

"Stay outta this Tan.." Greg instructed, giving her a small push out of the way. It was only a small push designed to get Tanya out the way, but Syed had seen everything, and the look of fear in Tanyas eyes had made him automatically jump out of his seat, despite Christians silent pleas. Christian watched him, resting his head on his hand, surveying things.

"Are you alright?" Syed had walked straight to Tanyas side, watching her look of shock. She turned to Syed, whose brown eyes immediately met her blue ones

"This is all my fault. Im Stacey. Im a homewrecker" Tanya closed her eyes and took a sharp breath, trying to shut Max and Greg out of the conversation.

"Your not. remember what we said before.." Syed breathed with Tanya, trying to calm her down, the way he did in the salon. His presence relaxed her a little, it was like she had someone on her side, and it wasn't just her, and two men who had caught her in the middle

"What we said before?" Greg asked, catching the end of the conversation, and Tanyas face contorted into a pained expression, she didn't want to make things worse for herself, or bring Syed into anything.

"You knew..so you've been discussing it with your work buddies nice Tan" Greg screwed up his face, his eyes flashing with anger, with hurt. Why was he the last to know? He looked from Syed to Tanya, looking disgusted at his wife

"nobody wanted to hurt you.." Syed started, trying to mediate, and trying in vain to paint a better picture of Tanya, trying to protect her from the verbal lashing she was doubtlessly about to receive. In front of the whole pub. He knew better then anyone that having your dirty laundry aired in public was humiliating, and he also knew due to the fact most of the village gossips were in the pub, that they were probably making mental notes, and the whole of the market stall would be aware by tomorrow.

"Did anyone ask you? I bet you and him swapped loads of tips on how to cheat on your partners..thats right pal ive heard your history.." Greg started. He was usually polite, mild mannered. But he had a lot of beers down him and he wanted to know why as usual, he was the last to find out something that affected him, and why Max, Lauren, and the gay guy down the road, knew more then him.

"Oi. Leave it" Christian said, appearing from behind Syed, and Greg watched Max's face, which had spread into a small smile at the fact that Greg was in his opinion, coming across as a idiot.

"Like destroying lives do ya?" Greg seethed, watching him sip his whisky like nothing was wrong

"Max" Tanya pleaded. She knew he was too proud not to respond..

"Destroying? Melodramatic" Max commented, and then Greg slammed his drink down, launching himself at Max, tackling him. Max grabbed Gregs unsteady arms tightly, and tried to push him, but Greg shoved him back harshly. Christian almost saw it in slow motion as Max struggled to balance, sliding straight into Syed, who fell straight to the floor, banging his head against a table

"Oi, oi lads what are you doing GET OUT" Alfie shouted, ringing the bell and appearing himself to push Max and Greg out the door. Tanya looked too frightened to go near them, and watched Syed touch the blood on his head and sigh. He knew it was coming..

He weakly threw up on the floor, feeling Christians presence guarding him. Everyone was in the pub, watching. Tanya, Roxy, Kat, Alfie, Jane, Billy, Janine..all the people who lived in Walford, and he was having the sickness in the middle of the pub? Brilliant..he knew it was going to be revealed, it was inevitable. Christian was acting like a concerned human body guard, but everyone was looking over.

That was the thing about Walford. Careful planning of something never worked. Things like this always happened publically. There was no chance of something like this being graceful, or only being shared with a few. He should of known that from the start. The way everything was revealed around here. It was horrible, humiliating, degrading almost. And now, thanks to Tanyas stupid ex husband and current husband fighting, he had to reveal everything. He was trying to think ways around it, but he knew he couldn't. he couldn't exactly hide behind being "concussed", he had just violently thrown up. He groaned, and felt himself being shaken back into the real world

"Sy are you ok?" Tanya asked, looking upset

He toyed with what to say next, not knowing how to announce this sort of thing..

"You need to get that to hospital what if its ruptured?" Christian said, nervously, gripping his hands and twisting them around

Then he clapped his hand over his mouth, and Syed sighed again. He loved Christian with all his heart. But if there was one bad trait about the man, it was the fact that in pressured situations, he was way too honest. But Syed didn't blame him. He was worried of course he was worried.

"Ruptured, whats ruptured?" Tanya asked, looking from Syed to Christian with a puzzled expression. Roxy pulled a face at Christian who grimaced slightly and turned to Syed, who took in a breath and squeezed his face a little, knowing that this was it

"Tan..I have..a…brain tumour" Syed finally managed to say, after a moments silence. Tanya gasped, and the rest of the pub pretended that they weren't listening, but from the dropped jaw expression that Ian Beale was sporting..it was obvious that this was not the case

"A brain tumour..oh my god Sy why didn't you say anything?" Tanya asked, looking shocked and amazed that he could of hidden it from her

"No fuss" he smiled a little. It was a wish that was never going to come true

"What kind of brain tumour is it?" Tanya asked, resisting the urge to throw her arms around him

"Cancer" Syed pulled a face, and Christian tried his hardest not to get emotional, and he looked at every expression in the vic, all of them were now changing.

Kat looked horrified, as did Alfie. Jane looked almost grief-stricken. Thank god Syed's parents hadn't witnessed this…

"Everyone I think we should shut" Kat suddenly said, through the silence. She had just been sitting, surveying the scene that was taking place on the floor, and she realised it needed to be away from prying eyes. She saw Alfie move from behind the bar and start to get everyone out, slowly. It was like slow motion. She wasn't that close to the younger man, but cancer? Even the word shook her to her core. It was vicious, it was nasty.

"Lets get you up" she heard the gentle voice of Christian say, and she watched with sorrow as Syed clasped both of his hands determinedly around Christians wrists, trying to heave himself up, but he was mainly supported by Christian

"Come on, lets go upstairs" Alfie muttered quietly, pressing a kiss to Kats head

"Yeah.." Kat said, still shell-shocked. She heard Alfie shout a solemn goodbye to the people still in the pub, steering her upstairs.

"its horrible" Kat suddenly said, to Alfie, about half way up the stairs

"I know..I found out before.." Alfie admitted, and Kat watched him, intrigued

"Christian came in a couple of weeks ago, really downbeat, Rox went upstairs with him, I figured it was a lovers tiff, so I went to see if Rox could get back on the bar, then I heard it..ive never been so mortified Kat" Alfie said, slouching his shoulders, and heading upstairs.

Tanya had headed outside. She was intending to come back in, but not until she had shouted her head off at Max and Greg. Or whichever one of them was going to be hovering outside the pub waiting for her.

"Im sorry Tan..I shouldn't of hurt your mate..although it was Max" Greg admitted

"If you didn't push me like some common bodybuilder this wouldn't of happened, pal" Max rolled his eyes, and stepped towards Greg

"Jealous of the fact im a real man?" Greg grinned slightly

"Why don't you ask Tan?" Max asked, with a small snigger and a snide grin, and then suddenly looked at Tanya, who looked upset, and repulsed

"Babe don't let this upset you" Max said, and moved to comfort her, immediately getting pushed away

"Its not about you" Tanya spat, loosing her patience and tolerance for both of them at that precise moment

"see..shes just upset we fought" Greg nodded, with a air of confidence

"Or maybe im upset that you guys fought, injured one of my best mates, who actually has just revealed he has a cancerous brain tumour that could have been affected by you two absolute idiots!" Tanya retorted quickly, brushing a hand through her hair. She watched Greg look visibly taken aback, and he spoke while things sunk in for Max

"Syed has..Cancer?" Greg asked

"Well that's what she said bob the builder" Max rolled his eyes, but his tone of voice had changed to more of a sympathetic one, as he suddenly realised. Cancer, that was big. He stepped towards a little

"And I pushed..oh god, is he ok?" Greg asked, and Max stepped forward once again, his eyes narrowing, and his brow creasing

"Im going to see now" Tanya frowned, turning to walk off, then turning around one more time

"Don't follow. Stay away" she warned, a certain fire appearing in her eyes, leaving both men with serious food for thought. And a slight arena of guilt building around them

Jane and Roxy sat on a table on the other side of the pub

"You knew didn't you?" Jane asked, with a soft smile

"Yeah..only for a few weeks" Roxy confided, rubbing her hands together for warmth

"Hows Christian bearing up?" Jane questioned, even though she already knew. She felt stupid, she had been the one dismissing Christian's fears, thinking he was just paranoid. When all of the time, it had built to this..it was completely crazy

"You know him, strong around Sy, not so strong with me.." Roxy shakily said, Jane watched her sadly

"Poor poor Syed" she blinked, and Roxy nodded, her head feeling like a weight

"Tanya used to sneak him loads of breaks. Days off. I used to think he was lazy" Roxy admitted, leaning back

"We all just thought it was a case of stress. Christian came to me, multiple times a day, worried out of his head, and I told him it was nothing. I feel slightly out of touch now" Jane let the frown and worry play across her face again

"Even Syed thought it was nothing" Roxy tried to reassure her, and her eyes followed Janes to the scene of Syed and Christian on the other side of the room

"Whats going to happen now?" Jane whispered, watching her brother tenderly stroking Syed's hair, with such adoration but such fear evident in his emerald eyes. He looked tired, weary. She knew Christian, he probably hadn't slept, he was probably treating Syed like a small puppy who wasn't trained, staying up to make sure nothing happened during the night. She knew what Christian was like when he was dedicated to someone. Well. She didn't really. She had only ever seen this side of Christian appear around Syed

"I don't know Jane.." Roxy admitted again, sheepishly

"Jane" Roxy quietly asked. She had been having certain thoughts for a while, but she couldn't share them with Christian, she couldn't weigh him down even more heavily..she saw Jane direct her gaze towards her, and knew she had the other womans attention

"What if its bad..what if they cant operate?" Roxy shakily asked, watching Christian again, the sadness accentuated in every movement he made.

"It wont get to that will it?" Jane asked, her eyes widened. She hadn't heard anything about it, apart from it being a brain tumour

"Christian said to me the other week, if they cant operate he might die..how would Christian cope if that happens?" Roxy asked, sighing and watching them again

"It wont come to that. It cant" Jane firmly replied, crossing her arms in a determined manner. It couldn't get to that. If anything happened to Syed, Christian would be destroyed. She had never seen her brother so happy, content, in love. Without Syed, she was afraid that Christian would loose every part of his grip on the world. And then there was Syed himself. A man who had undertaken such a intense journey to get his happy ending, and now he could be facing the final chapter..

They were interrupted by a small noise of the vic doors opening

"Hey, its only me" Tanya said, softly spoken as usual, putting her bag on the table and looking sadly at Jane

"All that time and I thought it was just stress like Lauren had.." she said, and Jane turned, knowing she would have to reassure another person…

Syed woke up shaking a little, he felt himself wrapped up in Christians jacket, and softly smiled at his boyfriends habit of absentmindedly stroking his hair when he was thinking. He had his head in Christians chest, and he had been laid down

"Hey you..you fell asleep" Christian tried to smile, but he just looked so afraid

"Happens quite a lot lately" Syed feebly joked "everyone knows now" he added, frowning

"Everyones concerned" Christian quietly said

"Its all real now" Syed sighed, touching the place where his head had been hit, and groaning a little

"Does it hurt?" Christian asked, his head almost jolting towards the wound

"Its fine…its pretty cold in here" Syed commented, and he shut his eyes in a rare feeling of happiness as he felt Christian move him slightly, into their normal position. It didn't matter that they were stretched across the pubs seating. Christian pulled Syed against his chest, and enveloped him in his strong arms, pulling his jacket over the top of Syed's chest, pressing a kiss to his head. He still seemed drowsy.

"Sleep babe" Christian gently said, stroking a stray curly hair out of the other mans eyes

"That's all I do" Syed whined, like a small child

"You need energy Sy" Christian reminded him

"I don't want to be one of those ill people. One of those people who sit in all day sleeping and getting people running after them, I don't want-" Syed had started, but Christian cut him off

"Sy, like it or not your not well.." Christian started, trying to ignore the stupid betrayal of the tear that had just welled up in his own pair of eyes. He hated saying it. The word "ill" or "not well" factored as badly as "brain tumour" or "cancer" these days, because they all connected.

"If you rest, it will help you get stronger" Christian continued, finding the quaver in his voice leave temporarily as he gave the instruction

"And if your stronger, that-that tells that tumour where to shove it" Christian finalised the statement, adding a halfhearted chuckle and ignoring the tear that slid down his face, landing on Syeds forehead

"Sorry" Christian muttered, tenderly wiping Syeds forehead

"Im meant to be strong for you, and now im blubbering" Christian was almost talking to himself more then Syed. He was the one who always pressurised himself into being the strong man. It had all piled on top of him, on a particular day where he was weary and tired, a day that had turned from mundane and depressing into eventful and downright scary.

"Its ok be vulnerable Clarkey.." Syeds small voice dragged Christian away from his thoughts, and Syed wrapped a arm around Christians neck, and used it to caress his face slightly, enough to make every nerve in Christians body electrify

"Don't be afraid to show me every part of you. Its what makes us us" Syed said softly, stroking a thumb over his cheek in a simple manner

"I love you" Christian whispered, pulling him even closer. Syed shuffled so he was now sitting up normally again, and watched his boyfriends puzzled face

"Come here" Syed simply said, opening his arms properly, and quickly pulling Christians muscular form towards his, pressing a strong kiss onto Christians slightly damp cheek. He rested a weary head on Christians shoulder, and finally felt the other man melt into his embrace

"Your still my superman" Syed said, raising his head slightly before burying it into Christians shoulders again. It was small moments like this that would help Syed weather the storm..