A/N: Wow, sorry it's been so long since I've updated. School is crazy and I just started a new job but I promise I'll be better in the future! As always, thanks for the amazing reviews, I can't wait to hear what you guys think about this next chapter. Enjoy!

And How It Whispered 'Oh Adhere to Me

For We are Bound by Symmetry'

As of late, there were many things that Lumen hated about herself: new developments that had sprung up over the past two years, little ticks or quirks that made her annoyed or frustrated but that wouldn't go away. Of course, there were things she hated about herself that had developed long before Jordan Chase's influence: her seeming inability to stick with anything she started, her penchant to run when she was scared, the fact that she always hurt what she loved more than anything. And the fact that when she was nervous it showed, not on her face, but in her hands, which wouldn't stop moving, no matter how many commands she sent to her nerves. At the moment, her hands were as busy as ever, twisting her hair, smoothing her dress, fumbling with the four-leaf clover necklace, punching buttons on the radio. If Dexter noticed, he didn't say anything, though he kept casting glances over at her, especially during her radio-surfing craze.

Finally, Dexter reached out and put his hand over hers, moving it away from the buttons and laying it in her lap. Briefly, his hand stayed over hers, like he was trying to anchor it in place. "Where do you want to eat?" He questioned as he put both hands back on the wheel.

Lumen shrugged, jiggling her knee. "Wherever." She put a hand over her knee, forcing it to the stay still. This was really getting ridiculous; she hadn't been this nervous since her first real date back in high school and that had been ten years ago. And this was Dexter, just Dexter, the man who had saved her life, who had risked his for her, who had seen her kill two men and smiled. Why the nervous hands? What exactly was she expecting out of this night?

They drove down by the pier, where they had gone several nights before everything with Jordan Chase had finally come to a head. Despite its position in chronological events, this place held nothing but good memories for her and Lumen found that her hands didn't feel so busy anymore. They parked and stepped out into the humid heat, causing Lumen to wonder why she'd ever even bothered trying to style her hair at all. It was going to be flat and frizzy before she even shut her car door; her Minnesota tresses just weren't used to this.

As they walked, they walked in silence and Lumen wasn't sure if it was the comfortable kind or the awkward kind. Dexter seemed lost in thought and she wondered if she should try to break his reverie or if she should just assume that he would talk when he was ready. A part of her hoped that he was thinking about her. Of course, she had no way of knowing that he was, indeed, thinking of her, but not in the way that she hoped he was. He wondered where the nervous and anxious behavior he'd noticed from her stemmed from: was she jittery because of their impending date (that he could understand, he was a little nervous and dry-mouthed himself) or because of something she had done earlier. Was she anxious because she had murdered someone earlier that day, because she had murdered two people back in Minnesota, and the strain and memories were starting to catch up with her?

Dexter stopped in front of a small, hole in the wall place that he would never have even known was there if he hadn't been introduced to it by Deb and one her momentary flings on some awkward double date. Though the night hadn't ended well, at least he'd been introduced to a great new restaurant that was never too crowded, with decent service and a patio that looked out over the pier. "What about this?" He gestured at the restaurant, looking over at Lumen.

Lumen tried to read the name but it wasn't Spanish for tourists so she didn't recognize a word. "Sure." As always, she didn't have trouble trusting Dexter.

They got a table right away and were one of four couples sitting out on the patio. As she sat, Lumen looked out at the water and all the lights reflected across the surface; somewhere out there, Jordan Chase and the four other monsters who had changed her life floated beneath the waves. Were the garbage bags that held them still intact or had they torn, making them an easy meal for fish? Thinking about fish nibbling on Cole Harmon's face made her smile.

"What?" Dexter questioned, raising an eyebrow. He liked the way a smile could transform her entire face.

Lumen shook her head. "Nothing. So what's good here?"

Throughout dinner, the conversation topics managed to avoid anything serious. Dexter had yet to bring up the reason why he'd told her that everything was not okay and Lumen had yet to ask, even though she wanted to. Lumen hadn't told Dexter about the phone call from her mother and though he could tell there was something on her mind, he didn't bring it up. Instead, Dexter told her about Harrison and how when he'd started to learn to really talk, he'd gone through a phrase of just repeating everything that everyone said around him. While thankfully, Harrison had kept his dad's secrets safe, there'd been a period when it wasn't safe for him to leave the house because he was making use of Deb's colorful vocabulary. "We started making Deb give Harrison five dollars every time she swore around him; I swear she's going to help put him through college."

Lumen told him about trying to adjust back to life in Minnesota and moving back in with her parents, which had been as unfortunate as it sounded. "I got a job as a barista, making coffee in a bookstore downtown and half the time I wanted to tell these people they really didn't need any more caffeine in their system, they were all ready way too wound up." She laughed, shaking her head. "And I kept thinking 'If only my professors could see me now, steaming milk and wiping down tables. They'd be so proud.'"

Dexter tried to imagine Lumen working for minimum wage in a dirty apron but he just couldn't envision her putting up with the customers who really made her mad. "They might be, if you made a really good cup of coffee."

"I didn't, but I was really good a keeping things clean." Her busy hands definitely came in handy at work and undoubtedly tipped the scales in her favor because she'd yet to be fired, despite the fact that she often mixed up the orders or made them all wrong. Though, Lumen figured that she'd since been fired, seeing as she hadn't shown up for work for the past five days.

"What did you go to school for?" Dexter suddenly realized that there was so much that he didn't know about Lumen. It was amazing what normal information could get lost in the cracks when all that mattered was whether you could trust someone to keep secret the fact that you were a serial killer. He didn't know her favorite color but he knew that she could chop up a man and stick him in a garbage bag.

Lumen paused for a minute, pushing the remainder of her rice and beans around on the plate. "Social work. I wanted to help people." She shook her head, almost as though the idea was laughable now.

Dexter had to admit that if he had really thought about it, he probably would have guessed that whatever path Lumen had wanted to take in life, it would have involved helping someone else. Whenever he tried to imagine the woman she'd been before coming to Miami, he always saw her as someone good and kind, who was always considerate about others, before all that had been burned away by Chase and the others. "That would be a good job for you."

Lumen scoffed, shaking her head. "Right. I can't even help myself anymore."

After they finished their drinks and paid the bill, they started walking, past the shops and other restaurants and street vendors that were just getting started hawking their product. Dexter figured they had at least another hour before Deb brought Harrison home, if not a bit longer, so he didn't feel in any rush to end the evening. Was it because he didn't want to end this one on one time with Lumen or because he still hadn't discovered what he wanted to know about her inner psyche? Did it even matter?

As they walked, their shoulders brushed together and Lumen really wanted to curl their fingers together but didn't want to be presumptuous. But Dexter didn't seem opposed to the proximity and that was good enough for her.

They passed a gaggle of college age girls, who were gossiping and laughing amongst themselves as they passed them going the other way. One of the girls craned her neck to get a look at the patchwork of scars on her back, making a face and a barely whispered comment to the girl next to her. Lumen felt her cheeks flush in embarrassment and she wished that she had changed after all; avoiding moments like this were the reason she hadn't put on a dress in two years. She could feel the other girls' eyes on her, turning to look at what their friend had taken such an interest in.

Dexter glanced over his shoulder at the girls, who were still giggling inanely even though he could find nothing humorous in the situation. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Lumen had her head bowed, her cheeks red with embarrassment, as though she, and not the idiotic coeds had something to be embarrassed about. Dexter wondered how long one of them would have lasted in the basement of the River Jordan Camp and whether any of them would have risen out of the ashes the way that Lumen had. He moved closer to her, putting his hand on the small of her back, his palm pressing against her scars, not hiding them from sight but instead acknowledging them and what they stood for. Dexter knew that they had a different meaning for Lumen than they did for him but that hardly seemed to matter at the moment, because he noticed that Lumen was holding her head a little higher than she had been seconds earlier.

When they finally reached the end of the pier they stood, leaning against the damp wooden railing that was supposed to prevent onlookers from tumbling into the water below. The wind, as lackluster as it was, blew Lumen's hair around her face but she didn't bother to try and tame it.

Dexter glanced over at her. "Those girls-"

But she was quick to interrupt. "I don't want to talk about them." Lumen said fiercely, keeping her eyes focused on the dark water that stretched out before them. Dexter didn't bother trying to press the issue.

"My mother called today." Lumen said after a few minutes had passed in silence, her shoulder against Dexter's, desperate to change the subject. Dexter looked over at her. "She didn't even ask how I was. She just told me that if I wasn't planning on being home for Christmas then I shouldn't bother coming home at all." She shook her head, keeping her gaze fixed out on the water to avoid meeting Dexter's eyes. She didn't want him to see the rejection and hurt that she felt over having been abandoned by her mother. She didn't think she deserved her sympathy, she had never sought it out before, but now that it was gone it was like there was a part of her that was gone too.

"You don't…have to stay." Dexter heard himself saying, even though that was not what he was feeling at the moment. "You can go back." He had gotten on without her before, he would somehow manage it again.

Lumen looked at him. "No." She was surprised by how adamant her voice was. "I mean…that's not…" She shook her head. "There's nothing left for me there. Even if all this…sleepwalking and weird dreams and uncertainty wasn't happening I still…I don't belong there anymore."

And where do you belong? Here, with me? Could I belong to you? As if to answer his question, Lumen whispered, "I'm not sure where I belong."

Dexter so badly wanted to assure her that she could belong there, that they might belong to each other because wasn't that the point, weren't people supposed to find someone that they could exist with in the most honest way possible? Or was he just trying to make himself believe in fairy tales?

Instead, he just said, "It's all going to work out," a sentiment that didn't really make any sense and felt as empty and useless as it had when he'd read it on a fortune cookie. Lumen looked at him and he shrugged, shaking his head. "I don't know why I said that." He admitted.

Lumen smiled and nudged him, rolling her eyes at his words. "Do you think things work out? Really?" She questioned honestly, not trying to be sarcastic or pessimistic.

"Sure." Never for him though, it seemed. Or was all that about to change? "Deb's getting married."

Lumen brightened, just like Dexter hoped she would. "That's great. She deserves to be happy." Didn't everyone? Didn't she? "I thought you said you had a bad day today." She raised an eyebrow.

Dexter pursed his lips. Where to start? Between what he'd found on the NCIC and finding his old boss gunned down in a parking lot, it hadn't exactly been smooth sailing. But instead of telling Lumen about the missing persons, he said, "LaGuerta, the old Lieutenant down at the station, she was killed today." Lumen's eyes grew wide. "Someone shot her."

"That's horrible, I'm so sorry." Dexter could tell that Lumen's words were genuine, as though she had actually known the woman and would mourn her loss. Were they proof that she hadn't been behind the killing or were they just a clever way to throw him off the Passenger's trail? He knew more than enough about hiding what he was really feeling. "Do you know who did it?"

It could have been you. "No." Dexter shook his head, unable to look at Lumen as he spoke. "Not yet."

Lumen reached out and gave his hand a comforting squeeze. "I'm sure you'll figure it out soon enough." She said confidently, as though still under the naïve impression that police and detectives caught all wrong-doers. As though she hadn't seen first-hand how easy it was for some people to just slip through the cracks.

Dexter nodded but he wasn't entirely sure; if it turned out that the killer was Lumen, would he turn that evidence in to his sister? Would he hide the truth the way he had with Quinn? Would he take matters into his own hands or would he give her a free pass?

"I wonder where they're going." Lumen's words confused him until he realized that she had left the topic of LaGuerta's murder behind and was staring out at the freighters coming and going through the darkness. "I wonder what it's like to just move from place to place all the time."

Dexter turned his gaze to the freighter that was watching as it moved closer to the dock, preparing to unload it's cargo and pick up more crates and product. And endless moving cycle. "A lot of new beginnings."

Lumen looked over at him. "I don't think there's such a thing as a new beginning. Not anymore. I mean, look where starting over got me." She shook her head. "I've tried running, I've tried putting everything behind me and it just…it always just makes things worse." She was surprised when her tears pricked her eyes and looked away quickly before Dexter could see them. "I keep running from the things that really mean something, it's like I can't stop hurting the people that I love." She covered her mouth with her hand, either to suppress the sob that wanted to escape her throat or stop the words from coming she wasn't sure. She closed her eyes and shook her head. "What's wrong with me?"

For a minute, Dexter only looked at her, watching as she tried to fight down the tears that seemed to have been looking for an excuse to fall for several days. He knew there were moments in life when some invisible line was crossed and once that happened there was no going back; he had lived his life by refusing to cross those lines because he never wanted to be in a position where retreat was impossible. But dearly indecisive and indifferent Dexter was gone. He stepped toward Lumen and wrapped his arms around her, holding her against his chest.

Lumen seemed to relax almost immediately, pressing herself against him as though she'd lost the energy to stand without his help. "I'm so sorry Dexter. I'm so sorry." She didn't try to stop from crying now, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and pressing her face into his shoulder. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have left you, I made a mistake."

Dexter rubbed her back, closing his eyes as he held her. He had wanted this for so long and now that he had her again, he remembered why he had missed her so much. He had felt empty without her, his missing piece. "It's okay." He whispered into her hair. "You're okay now."

"I was so stupid." If Lumen heard his words, she didn't take any comfort in them. "I don't know how I thought leaving you was the right thing to do." Dexter lifted her head from his chest, wiping her tears away with his thumb. But that only seemed to make more tears fall. "Dexter, I'm-"

Dexter knew that Lumen would continue this cyclical abuse until someone finally managed to convince her that it wasn't warranted. So he decided to shut her up the only way he knew how: he kissed her. He had never been the aggressive one when it came to Lumen, too afraid that initiating even the smallest gesture would scare her off. But it didn't seem like Lumen minded. It was like she had been waiting for that exact moment, that she had been ravenous for him, that there was some part of her that could only be sated through him. Or maybe that was how he felt. Dexter wondered if he had always resisted human contact because he was waiting for this moment and knew that nothing else would ever compare. Because Lumen knew who he was, inside and out, every part of him had been exposed to her and she didn't want to run the other way. Not anymore.

TBC