Oh my Cas, you guys! So sorry for the long wait! I got started sewing my Hallowe'en costume and it has ttly consumed my life for the past few days. But, I had a few extra hours tonight, so here's a post. I have to also apologize in advance for the cut-off at the end. It got too long and I figured you'd rather have at least one chapter than none, so this is TBC in the next chapter, which will hopefully be up within the next day or so.
Ok, so, Grim1989 asked for a Cas POV chapter and I thought it was about time to do one, so here ya go!
In which Cas asks advice on how to seduce Dean:
Castiel woke up early the next morning, about the usual time Dean got up to go to his job. After yesterday's events, he was too excited to sleep and had too many interesting and distracting thoughts running through his mind. All night long he had savored the touch of Dean's lips upon his own from a stolen kiss when Dean thought that the angel was asleep. He had begun to wonder before yesterday if Dean felt the same way about him as Castiel did for his human, but his actions seemed to have confirmed it. The lost angel had been hesitant before now to let his true feelings be known in case his love was one-sided, but he had enough evidence now to assume that Dean felt the same way. The man's fierce protection, his willingness to do what Cas asked of him, the kiss when he had fallen off the gazebo, and the secret movie all added up to terms of deep affection to Cas.
Yesterday had been so perfect, easily his best day on Earth since the Fall, and Castiel wanted to reciprocate. He had been batting around the idea for a while, but now he was certain: he wanted to share his love with Dean and finally give himself to the man who had given him everything.
Castiel could pinpoint the very moment that he fell in love with his bonded human, and he replayed the memories as he lay staring at Dean's peaceful face. When Dean had run up and courageously defended him against Raphael, Cas suspected that he felt more than affection for the man, but later, when Dean groomed his wings for a second time, the angel knew that it was love. Dean had been so thoughtful and careful, making sure that Castiel knew that he was in control and Dean would always stop when he asked. When Dean tickled him, getting him to laugh again for the first time in years, the angel had no doubt that he wanted Dean Winchester by his side forever.
Castiel used the very tips of his fingers to lightly stoke Dean's stubbled cheek. It had taken him a while to heal from his time with Michael, and longer still for him to learn to trust another person with not just his body, but his heart. Dean was that person. At first Castiel had not been ready to let Dean in, even though he lusted after Dean from the first moment he touched the man and felt to the depths of his scarred but beautiful soul. He had been reluctant to act upon such feelings, after what had happened the last time he felt this way. He ran when Dean's touch on his sensitive wings had aroused him and had been unable to follow through when they shared a passionate kiss in the restroom.
He had changed since then, grown to love Dean more each passing hour, and now he felt that he was ready to give himself completely to the man he adored. He realized that it may not seem like much time to a human, but for a being who was immortal, time was relative and it was one's feelings that mattered. He continued his soft cases down Dean's arm, brushing over their first bonding mark.
The only problem now was that he didn't know how to go about confessing his love or expressing his desires to Dean. The few times he had tried, it had backfired. So, Castiel decided to seek advice from the most worldly angel he knew. Leaving Dean to sleep on for once, the angel gave his bonded one last furtive glance then clothed himself and padded out of their room. With a quick movement of his almost-fully-healed wings, he flew himself down to Gabriel's apartment. He knocked on the door and waited patiently while his brother appeared from wherever in the world he was that morning. After a few minutes, the door opened and an exuberant Gabriel ushered him inside.
"Well, little brother, I didn't expect to see you again so soon. Dean-o's had you under lock and key so long I was beginning to wonder if he'd ever let you go." The archangel offered Castiel his choice from an assortment of lollipops in a huge bowl and, to be polite, Cas chose cherry and unwrapped it carefully.
"You know he was only concerned about my safety because I couldn't see or defend myself," he reminded the shorter angel. He would have fled long before this had he suspected that Dean's clinginess was anything more than simple protectiveness.
Gabriel rolled his eyes. "Yes, and that's the only reason I didn't try to bust you out. Dean means well, even if he is a little paranoid." He popped a sour apple sucker between his lips and lapped at it appreciatively for a moment before continuing. "So, to what do I owe the pleasure? Trouble in paradise? Need me to play a few pranks on your handsome beau to get him to lighten up?"
"I…need your advice on something," Castiel hedged. Now that he was with Gabriel, he wasn't sure that his outgoing, zany brother was the correct person to ask about such a delicate matter. Unfortunately, other than Dean, he didn't have anyone to ask. "It's about Dean," Castiel confessed slowly. "I love him and I want to be with him, but I am not sure how to make my intentions known. The few times I have tried, it has not worked."
Gabriel pondered this as he unwrapped another lollipop and shoved it in beside the other one. "Well, it's not unrequited love, that's for sure. Anyone can see that stupid ape loves you just from the way he looks at you."
Castiel smiled at that as he glanced down shyly at his hands. He had only been able to physically see Dean for a couple of days, so he trusted that his big brother had detected more than he had when looking at Dean.
"Ok, well, let's start with the basics. What have you tried?" Gabriel asked.
The white-winged angel blushed a little; he had feared that this would come up, but he knew that if he wanted to be with Dean, he would have to surrender his pride. "I offered to orally stimulate his manhood a few days ago, but he refused me." What Castiel wouldn't admit was how hurt he had been by the rejection. He may not be good at a lot of things in the human world, but he was good at bringing pleasure to his partner. If anything good could be gained from his time with Michael, Castiel wanted to use his skills to prove to Dean how much he cared for him.
Gabriel spit both his suckers out in shock. "Dean, conqueror of a thousand women, refused a blowjob?"
Castiel looked down again, staring bashfully at his lap. He didn't particularly appreciate the reminder that Dean had been quite promiscuous before they met. He liked to take it as a good sign that Dean had stopped such fornications in favor of spending time with him.
He answered Gabriel's question haltingly. "I could tell that Dean was aroused, but he said he would never make me do anything I didn't want to. I tried to tell him that I would enjoy physically bringing pleasure to him, but he would not hear it."
"I bet he thought you were just trying to thank in the way that Michael-bastard taught you. He's probably trying to be a gentleman, worried that if he initiates any kind of sexy stuff with you, you'll blow a gasket."
Cas canted his head at that; he only understood about half of what Gabriel said, but he got the point. "I may have been upset about his advances towards the beginning of our acquaintance, but now I know that Dean would never hurt me like that. I'm not afraid of…sexual relations with him. I appreciate his consideration, but at this point it is unnecessary." It wasn't that sex was Castiel's main goal, but he had been taught that sex as used as a way to get closer to people (he suspected this was why the lonely man Dean had been craved it so much) and, in the right relationship, as a sign of affection. Maybe, if he showed Dean how good he was at it, the man would keep him around, and not just out of pity.
"And, you're afraid that if you just tell him that, he won't believe you," the archangel finished. His little brother nodded. "Well, then, it seems like it's time to bring out the big guns. He's off work tonight, right? Good. We'll just have to make it a night he'll never forget. I've got a plan, so listen up…"
After memorizing Gabriel's plot to seduce Dean, Castiel flew to the first place his brother had directed him. He appeared at the doorstep of Angelic Angles and walked inside, praying that this was all going to work. Becky, the perky saleswoman from before, spotted Castiel and hurried over to him, her infectious smile spread wide across her face.
"Hello again! Castiel, right?" When the angel nodded in recognition, she went on. "Wow, you look so much better than before! Your wings are so pretty! Are you still with Dean?
"I am," Cas said regally, politely ignoring her other tactless comments. "We have grown quite close since we first met." He didn't dislike Becky, but he was still uncomfortable around most humans, especially exuberant ones.
Becky squeed, clapping her hands excitedly. "Aww, I knew you two would work out. You are so cute together!" She took a deep breath, calming herself marginally. "So, what can I help you find today? Did your other clothes work out ok?"
"They did, and thank you for your assistance. This time, I am looking for something in particular. I need vestments that will indicate to Dean that I wish to be more…intimate with him."
The woman's cheeks flushed and she danced in place a little, her smile growing even wider. Cas took a timid step back, not sure what her reaction might mean. Becky waved a hand in front of her face to cool herself. "OMG, I knew it! You two are perfect for each other! I'm sure we can find something that will work." She hopped closer, but paused when a couple more people walked into the shop. Becky sighed, seeing that they obviously needed help.
"Tell you what. I'll get Balthy to help you pick something out. He's got great taste and he wears 'sexy' like a suit. I'm sure he'll find an outfit that will let Dean know how much you want him!" She finished the last sentence with a saucy wink, and then looked up towards the ceiling, as though in prayer. "Hey, Balthazar! Castiel is here and he needs some help! He should be here any minute," she added and then went to help the other customers.
Right on cue, the angel Balthazar appeared directly in front of Cas. Castiel didn't start as a human might have—he could hear his brother's flight and followed it into the shop. Balthazar was a tall, rangy-looking angel with short blonde hair and a charming smile. His wings were hidden so he could fit into a slim, V-necked T-shirt with a blazer. His tight jeans were dark and artfully ripped, denoting his good taste and choice of clothing.
His bright eyes lit when they saw Castiel. "Why, if it isn't Cassy! I haven't seen you for ages!" He jumped forward to hug his little brother, mussing Cas' already untidy hair before pulling back again. "And what brings you to Angelic Angles? Becks said you need some help?"
"I do," Castile confirmed, smiling at his brother. It was good to know that not all of the host hated him as Raphael did. Even if it was just Gabriel and Balthazar who still liked him, it was enough to satisfy him. He quickly explained his bonding with Dean and his current feelings, as well as the conversation he'd had with Gabriel where he'd asked the Trickster's advice.
Balthazar rubbed his sparse facial hair as he considered Castiel's request. "Well, Gabe is right. Looking the part is a huge step towards letting your little bird know you fancy him. Someday, you should really let me take you to London or Paris for clothes-shopping, but lucky for you we've got a small romantic section in the back here. Let's see what we can find to show off that hot little body for Dean, shall we?" The angel bent his arm, indicating that Cas should precede him to the back of the store. Blushing at his brother's crass appraisal, Castiel went, wondering yet again if it had been such a good idea to get his playful brothers involved.
At the far end of the shop, Balthazar directed the other angel around a red curtain and into a smaller, closed-off area. Here the lighting was dim and the quiet air made the place seem very confining and…elicit. Covering the walls was all manner of black, mostly leather, gear. Some of it Cas recognized from his time with Michael, but others he could not begin to guess the uses of.
"As you can see," his elder brother said, "we stock a small selection of angel bondage gear, like wing restraints and celestial cuffs. Nothing like the big retailers, but we've had the odd couple interested in something a little less vanilla. For you though, let's start off small. Something with a bit of 'come-hither' without being full-on slutty?"
"Uh, yes?" Castiel said, not sure what Balthazar was talking about, but trying to sound helpful.
Balthazar laughed, seeing how out of his depth the other angel was. For a former sex slave, Castiel was still pretty naïve when it came to things like this. The bigger angel went to the clothing racks and thumbed through them, picking out an armful each of tops and pants. "Can you hide your wings or do you want something that will fit over them?" he wanted to know.
Castiel considered this. "I can retract my wings now. I thought maybe I would wear something under my coat with my wings hidden, then surprise Dean when I took it off and opened my wings?" He said it like a question, not sure if his idea was good enough.
His brother quirked an eyebrow at Cas. "Quite the tease, I see," he said with a wolfish grin. "That plan sounds brilliant. Your Dean won't know what hit him." He thrust his armfuls of outfits at Castiel, who took them with wide eyes. "Go try these on in the changing rooms. I want you to show me each one before you take it off so I can choose the best." Cas resigned himself to a long afternoon and disappeared into the dressing room to try on his first outfit. He sure hoped that his brothers were right and new clothes would entice Dean.
A long while later, Balthazar had finally approved an ensemble. Cas ended up with two tops and a pair of pants, as well as a mysterious item that Balthazar wouldn't explain but said Dean would know what to do with it. As Castiel was on his way to the front register to pay for his items, his brother stopped him by a display of pink bottles.
"Did Becky tell you about this stuff? It's gorgeous!"
"Yes," Castiel confirmed. "Dean bought some the first time we were here. It does closely resemble natural angel wing oil."
"Did you buy the kind that shimmers?" Balthazar wanted to know. Castiel shook his head. His brother grabbed one of the smaller bottles and held it up to him. "Tell you what, you come in the back and I'll groom your wings with this for you. I always have Becks do it for me before a big date—the ladies love it!" Cas innocently agreed (what did he have to loose?), leaving his clothes with Becky and following Balthazar to the small break room. He sat patiently as Balthazar rubbed the oil over his wings; he didn't do a fully grooming, just enough to spread out the sparkling liquid.
Castiel was grateful for the treatment, and not just because it would help him show Dean how much he loved him. His brother touching his wings calmed him, helping Cas to settle the nervous feelings that had been building inside of him all day. He tried not to think about what would happen between himself and Dean if this plan didn't work, but worries kept popping up in his head. What if, instead of bringing Dean closer, he drove the man away? Castiel was almost certain of Dean's affections, but he had been wrong before, with disastrous results. It did not occur to him to hide his feelings or not declare them to Dean—he knew that he had to be honest with his bonded, even if it mean the possibility of failure.
When Balthazar was through, he led Cas back to the front of the shop. Castiel produced a small rectangle of plastic that he had seen Dean use to pay for things at the grocery store, and had borrowed from the man's wallet. When he expressed his concern to Gabriel about using Dean's money, the angel had assured him that Dean would agree that it was well worth the expense.
"Thank you both for your assistance again," Castiel said when Becky handed him his loaded shopping bag.
Balthazar clapped his shoulder jovially. "It was my pleasure, Cassy. Just be sure and invite us over soon. I need to come make sure that this Dean is good enough for you."
"He is," Castiel assured him confidently, then turned to fly off so he could meet back up with Gabriel. They went out to lunch together, further discussing their plan, then Cas made one more stop before he went back to the firehouse.
When he returned to the apartment, Dean was starting dinner. Castiel had left a note, telling Dean that he was going to be out for the day, but he hoped the man hadn't worried too much. As soon as he appeared, Dean stopped seasoning the roast he was preparing and came to greet him.
"Hey Cas, how was your trip? Gabriel stopped by earlier to say you went to Angelic Angles to see a brother and then had lunch with him." Dean's concern was coming off of him in heavy waves, but Castiel noticed that he was trying to hide his panic and play it cool.
"My outing went very well," Castile informed him. "I saw Balthazar at the shop and he helped me to pick out some new clothes."
Dean looked curiously at the bags his angel was holding. "Oh, yeah? What's the occasion?" he teased. He didn't seem to suspect anything; rather he simply assumed that Castiel was exercising his independence with his newly healed wings and visiting his family.
Castiel clutched the parcels to himself, not letting Dean see what they contained. "I would like to show you later. There is something I want to talk to you about then as well."
The man's face fell a little, his grin replaced by a worried expression. "Oh. Ok, Cas…"
"It pertains to something I believe is positive," the angel offered, hoping to put his human at ease. He hated to see Dean look sad and he certainly didn't want him coming to the wrong conclusion. He had learned rather quickly that his bonded had severe abandonment issues and he was always quick to reassure Dean that he had no intention of leaving if Dean didn't want him to. He thought it might still be a while before Dean truly believed that, but it was something they would have to work on. With any luck, Castiel's declaration would help ease that worry somewhat.
Dean breathed a relieved sigh. "All right, then. You wanna help me chop these veggies?" Castiel blinked into Dean's room to hide his purchases, then appeared back behind the man in the kitchen. Dean jumped, and then turned around to give Cas a smile. "Looks like your wings are all better, huh? You sure are fast. I can't even see you move."
Castiel nodded as he went to take a sharp knife from the block. "Humans are unable to perceive angle flight unless we go very slowly. I must admit, it is nice to be able to move freely again."
"Does that mean you'll keep your wings hidden now, too?" Dean wanted to know. Castiel may be socially inept, but even he could tell that Dean sounded disappointed. He hid a smile as he began cutting up some carrots to put in with the roast Dean had prepared.
"Not all the time. I have gotten quite used to having them out and, while it does make me feel more vulnerable, I find that I prefer the feeling of having them loose. At least here, where it is safe to do so." He was rewarded with another grin from Dean, then went back to chopping up celery with renewed cheer. They watched TV while they waited for the food to cook and Dean introduced Castiel to a show called "Dr. Sexy, MD" which he found confusing but mildly entertaining.
Dinner was a quiet meal. Castiel spent the whole time worrying over his plans for the evening and Dean spent the whole time fidgeting, trying to work out what Cas was up to. Their bond only served to exacerbate the situation, sending each person the other's anxieties, adding to his own until they were both pretty worked up. Finally, they were finished eating and Dean rose to begin clearing the dishes.
"Would you like your dessert now?" Castiel asked him.
Dean blinked. "Dessert? Did you pick up something while you were out?"
"Just a moment," Castiel said and he flew to Dean's room to retrieve one of the bags he had brought home. From it, he produced a bakery box, which he set on the table in Dean's place. Curious, Dean shuffled over to lift the lid. His eyes widened when he saw that there was a large cherry pie waiting for him.
"I made it from scratch, with Gabriel's direction," the angel informed him. "I picked the cherries from a farm and used fresh eggs. I'm sorry I did not have the time to thresh and grind the wheat for the crust, but I didn't want to keep you waiting."
Dean chuckled. "Um, no, that's ok, dude. Most people just use what's in the store. This is awesome, though!" He grabbed a pair of forks and handed one to Castiel before digging in. He didn't bother with a plate, instead sampling the pie straight from the tin. He moaned when he took the first bite, eyes fluttering shut as his lips closed over the fork. "Oh my God, Cas. This is the best pie ever!"
"I'm glad you like it, Dean." Castiel set his fork aside and inched away from the table. "While you enjoy your dessert, I have something to take care of in the bedroom. I will be back shortly."
The man looked up, confused. "Aren't you going to have any?"
Castiel smiled warmly. "No, I made the pie for you."
Dean shrugged and let Cas leave while he went back to savoring the delicious confection. The angel retreated to the bedroom and found the Angelic Angles bag, rooting through it for his outfit. He pulled the clothes on, checked his appearance in the small mirror above the dresser, and then reached into his side of the closet for his coat. He had laundered the trench coat and cared for it, whereas Dean had told him to just throw it out. Castiel couldn't bring himself to part with it though—he had met Dean in that coat and it now held sentimental value, reminding how far he had come since bonding with his human. He slid the coat on and secured the tie around his waist so that his outfit could not be seen underneath. Finished, he straightened up the bedroom and lit some candles from Gabriel, making sure everything was perfect for the night ahead. When there was nothing more to do, the angel took a deep calming breath and went back out into the flat.
Dean frowned when he looked up from his pie. "What's with the trench coat, Cas? Pretty sure it's not raining inside the apartment." His voice shook a little but the angel was not sure why.
Castiel stood stiffly in the entrance to the kitchen, gathering his courage for what he was about to do. He had run through a number of scenarios in his head and with his brothers about how to inform Dean of his intentions, but now that the moment was here, the angel was at a loss of what to say.
Unfortunately, his silence was the opposite of comforting for Dean. It hadn't occurred to Castiel what sort of message his wearing the trench coat might send to his human, but suddenly Dean's nervous level spiked to near panic through the bond and Castiel nearly staggered with the sudden weight of the man's emotions as well as his own. He looked between himself and Dean, trying to figure out what was going on.
Dean interrupted the silence, standing and lifting sad green eyes to the angel. "Cas…are you leaving? Is that what you wanted to talk about?" His gruff voice was low and he sounded positively broken.
It took Castiel but a second to work out the association between Dean and the coat and when he did, he gasped in shock. Without thinking past his human's defeated look, he rushed forward and enveloped Dean in his arms. The man's arms instantly flew around him and squeezed him closer.
"No, Dean!" he whispered fiercely against the man's neck. "The day you don't want me is the day I leave. Until then, I'm not going anywhere." He stroked Dean's back, trying to calm the rush of confused emotions raging inside of the man. When he brought his hand up to drag it meaningfully over their bonding mark, Dean shuddered against him.
"I want you always, Cas. Please, don't leave," he begged. The angel couldn't help but feel a thrill of joy upon hearing those words. He was loathe to cause Dean any sort of pain, but he was pleased to hear that the man wanted him to stay.
Castiel breathed in the warm smell of Dean's skin, letting it soothe him along with the man's plea. "I won't," he promised firmly. "My apologies, Dean. I did not intend to make you think I was leaving."
Dean pulled back a little from the hug so he could look into Castiel's blue eyes. He kept his hold on the angel though, probably not even realizing he was maintaining a death grip on the trench coat. "Then why are you wearing that old thing?" he wanted to know.
"I wanted to surprise you with what I am wearing, but it seems that once again my lack of human social graces has given you the wrong impression."
Dean shook his head. "No, Cas, that freak-out was my bad. Sorry I'm such a girl sometimes. Go ahead and do whatever you were gonna do. Does it have something to do with what you wanted to talk about?"
Castiel nodded and let his arms drop from around Dean, putting some distance between them so he could reach the tie of his coat. "There is something I would like to tell you, and I was assured that the pie and my new outfit would help you to understand."
"Ok…" Dean said, sounding completely confused but interested.
The angel steeled his nerves and removed the covering, letting it fall off his hare shoulders and down to the kitchen floor. Once the coat was gone, he released his wings, holding them high with shaky confidence when all he wanted to do was cover himself with them. With Michael, he had stayed naked most of the time, but angels generally weren't bothered with body shyness. The clothes Balthazar had picked out were something different. These clothes were meant to display his body, highlighting certain parts while keeping others partially hidden, and Castiel was not altogether comfortable having so much attention drawn to his figure, even if it was only Dean who was looking at him.
For his part, Dean was starting at the angel with a rather endearing shell-shocked expression. His jaw was hanging open and his eyes were slightly bugged as he took in what the normally conservative angel was wearing. Over his torso Cas sported a slim tank top made of shiny black leather. It zipped in the front and dipped low in the back so he had room to loose his wings. The contrast with the white feathers and the angel's pale skin against the black of the top was quite striking, showing that Balthazar really did know what he was doing. The "shirt" ended just below Cas' belly, showing off his jutting hipbones. Low-slung black jeans completed the angel's look, clinging tightly to his calves and thighs and leaving nothing to the imagination up front. He had chosen to go barefoot but Dean didn't seem to mind as his eyes were glued to the angel's upper body.
"Am I to take it that you like what you see?" Castiel asked after a few minutes of silence. Dean was sending so many different emotions at him through the bond that it was hard to tell which one was prevalent.
Dean attempted to speak, choked a little, then tried again. "Cas, you look fucking amazing," he said with complete honesty. He wet dry lips unconsciously. "Why are you dressed like that? Are—are you going out or something? I mean, not that I don't…uh…" He stuttered to a stop and went back to staring openly.
The angel canted his head at Dean with a little frown. Why would the man ask him that? Wasn't his clothing supposed to tell Dean that he wanted him? He had been assured that this would work!
"I dressed this way for you."
"Um…thank you?" Dean guessed.
This was clearly not working the way Castiel had pictured it. With a sigh, he bent to pick up his trench coat. "I should never have trusted Gabriel when he said this would work…"
There was a gasp and then he heard the man say, "No, wait!"
He looked up to see Dean holding out a hand. He got the coat but did not put it on yet. His human looked flustered and Dean ran a hand through his short hair before scratching the back of his neck.
"Just…say what you wanted to say. If Gabriel was involved in this, I think I just figured out what's going on, but I don't want to assume anything."
Castiel nodded. Maybe there was still hope if he simply told Dean how he felt rather than rely on human symbols. "Very well. What I have been trying to communicate is that I love you and I want to be intimate with you, should you return my feelings."
A/N: Sexy bit coming next time I PROMISE!^^'