AN: sorry for the long updates! I'm planning on updating faster now but I don't know if I can be held to that promise! Anyways, I've got myself a beta so there will be much less typos and crap! Sorry again and on with the story

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Okay, so having spent the last 45 minutes with Jake, I have come to a few conclusions:

1) Oh my eggy mcgoodness I'm bored.

2) This guy is as dull as….something that's really dull!

3) Lord help me, if he keeps talking about the variety of colours in shoelaces, I'll kill him

Out of the whole… two days I spent with him before the change, HOW did I fail to notice that he is this GOD DAMNED BORING!?!?!? I must have been distracted by it almost being time for me to get vamped. But Jaysus Murphay! I must have been really, really distracted!

I've got to drop the plan! I can't go on with this; I'm going to kill someone- possibly, myself or Mr. Shoelaces. I feel like yelling 'I DON'T CARE WHAT THE LITTLE METAL THINGY AT THE END OF A SHOELACE IS CALLED, GOD DAMMIT!' at Jake. Ugh. Even his name is boring! It rhymes with rake. Rakes are boring too! All they do is rake leaves. Though, say one was lying on the ground and Jake happened to step on the head thingy and the stick part swung up and hit him in the face. Well, then I'd have to say that rakes are amusing!

Back on topic- I really need to get away from him. Gah! How to do this without hurting his feelings? HA!! Whatever. I don't care about his feelings! I might if I hadn't spent the better part of an hour listening to anecdotes about his shoelace collection being stolen by rats. (I mean really, who has a shoelace collection?) Now, I just don't want him finding out about the plan!

I pondered this for a while, just as Jake decided we should go to a restaurant. I don't know why he said this, probably because he wants to observe other peoples footwear, but we, for some reason, are able to control our thirst. Yay for us!

So, we were now sitting in a diner, waiting for someone to take our pointless and disgusting order. Just then a, young, probably 19 year old- waitress came over to us. She had her hair in a high pony tail, exposing her whole neck. Personally, I wouldn't have noticed on my own, but Jake was watching her throat like it was his prey- which technically it was.

Aha! I think I have found my loop-hole. Now, I just have to wait for the opportune moment.

"Hi! My name is Jenna! Can I take your order guys?!" she practically screamed at us. Jeez this girl was peppy. Meanwhile, Jake was actually drooling venom at this girl's neck. I resisted the urge to laugh. This was just too easy! Jenna was bouncing where she stood- grinning, notepad and pen in hand. This brought me back to ordering food… if you can call it that…

"I'll have fries and a cheeseburger," I said dully (I think Captain Aglet is rubbing off on me) while Jenna was nodding enthusiastically and writing this down in her notepad with her pink fluffy pen. Gah, this girl needs to leave. I nudged the vamp-boy across from me to order his food.

"Oh! Uh, I'll have the… um… whatever she had." Wow dude, creative! Jenna jumped up and down.

"Okay, so that's two orders of fries and two cheeseburgers? Right?!" I nodded. "Yay for you!" she clapped.

"Jenna, are you by any chance a cheerleader?" I asked. She looked confused and astounded.

"Yeah! How'd you know that?" she asked, grinning.

"Lucky guess." I smiled smugly.

"Okay! I'll be right back with those!" and she bounded off. Suddenly, Jake came out of his trance. I had a feeling the opportune moment was approaching.

"Damn, that is one fine piece of neck!" he said. Yes! Please clear the landing area the moment just arrived and is rolling into position.

"You jerk!" I screeched. He looked shocked and confused and stupid- good. "I thought we had something special, but apparently not cause there you go! Looking at other girls right in front of me! And you're even telling me about it?! Have you no shame?!" The patrons of the diner started looking at us curiously.

"But…wha? You- BELLA!" he sputtered.

"No Jake! Save it! I don't want to hear your excuses. Just… let me go!" I now was standing and faking choking up. Although I couldn't actually cry, my audience, which was by now the whole restaurant, didn't need to know that.

"But Bella! You can't tell me that you didn't notice her too! I thought you'd get it! You know, if you understood, we wouldn't be having this discussion!" he yelled back desperately as he tried to make it my fault.

The whole diner booed him. How could he blame little old me for his uncontrollable flirting- no matter how fictional it was! I was internally laughing my head off….if that's possible… Anyways, I feigned shock.

"How dare you try to pin this on me?! Well you know what Jake? I've had it up to here with this! That's right, I know about all the other girls! I know about those 'night classes' that you've been taking!" I made air quotes for night classes. Haha this is fun! "I've got something to say to you now!" I took a sip of some random person's coke to ease the burning in my throat.

"Oh yeah? And what's that, Bella? That you're completely INSANE?!" he screeched as he stood up (I was already standing) and jeez was he tall! I stood on the chair and dumped the coke on his head.

"I never want to see you again, Jacob Black!" I jumped down from the chair and strutted my way out the door. Behind me I could hear the people of the diner whooping and cheering for me as I exited.

When I turned the corner, I saw out of the corner of my eye that Jake was staring after me like I was a crazy person. Just then, Jenna slapped him across the face and started yelling at him.

I couldn't contain myself anymore and burst into hysterical laughter. I ran into the forest, clutching my stomach which was in great pain from all the laughter that escaped me. I ran at vamp speed back to Tor's place—whom by the way was in Ireland for unknown reasons at the moment.

When I reached the house, I was still giggling like a mad woman and didn't hear the rustling of leaves come from above me. There was a bit of a THUMP! So I turned around to see a sad and sheepish looking Edward.

"What's so funny?" he asked quietly. I attempted to stop the giggles so I could for a coherent sentence.

"Well, I just dumped Jake." I giggled a little more. Edward looked confused. Very very confused. Seeing as how his eyebrows came together and whatnot.

"I don't understand why that's funny. Now, I know that you don't get hurt from break ups," Oh yeah, haha. "But hysterical laugher is a bit outrageous, don't you think?" he smiled a little, as did I. That was a strange break-up that we had, wasn't it? Don't most girls wallow and crap? Whatever.

"Well I didn't actually like him. He's insanely boring." I stated matter-of-factly. Okay I'm not doing so well with the whole, not confusing Edward thing.

"I'm confused. You didn't like him?" I nodded. "But you kissed him and dated him!" Edward was very confused but I could tell he was excited. I sighed; I will now reveal my master plan.

"I was using him. I wanted you to leave me alone so I thought that if I had someone new, you would take a hint and go away. But, I just could not stand him any longer and made a big scene in a restaurant," I smiled remembering the incident a few minutes ago. Good times. I glanced back to Edward who was standing with his shoulders slumped and a glum expression on his face.

"Oh, okay. I guess since I didn't take the hint before I should perhaps take it now, I wish you happiness throughout eternity. And I want you to know that I really am sorry for what I did. I was awful of me and I feel terrible. But, I'll go now as you wanted. Goodbye Bella," he gave me one more, sad smile and turned towards the woods.

As he walked away, I kept thinking I should be saying 'FINALLY!' but all I could think about was when he left me the first time. He walked into the woods then, just as he was now. That day made me realize something obvious- no one knows you're hurting if you just don't show it. I know what you're thinking- Bella, you're an idiot! Of course that's right! But it's true!! No one had a clue cause I was hiding it so well! I'm stealthy like that.

But seriously, it hurt a lot. You try having the guy you love walk away from you! Wait, that's happening right now.

"Eddie," I called. It has started raining and I'm already getting soaked. He turned slowly, showing his curious expression. "It did hurt." Okay, I made him confused again, I'm terrible at this. I internally sighed. "It hurt like hell, Edward." He seemed to finally get it and he looked even sadder.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. He was intently staring at the wet, soppy ground.

"S' okay Edward. I got over it….mostly. You know, changing into a different person really makes you forget about all the old problems. You're quiet today." I commented because he has barely said anything but his apologizing speech. He finally looked at me.

"Sorry," he said again. I sighed.

"Think you can say anything that isn't an apology?" I joked. He smiled apologetically and I started laughing at him. "Okay well, I'm done with the opening of my un-beating heart." He winced at the mention of my deadness.

"Well, then I'll just go." It was pouring rain and I was sure I looked like a drowned cat- where as he looked like…well basically a wet god. But you know whatever.

He was walking away again and I got this feeling in my chest. Was it….heartache? Huh. Guess my heart didn't like the idea of the love of my life/un-life walking away. Oh! Right!

"Hey Eddie!" He turned again. I'm sensing repetitiveness. I smiled. "I changed my mind." I walked closer to him slowly so that there is little space between us. He tilted his head in confusion. I rolled my eyes.

Then, unexpectedly, to him at least- I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him tight. "Don't go" I whispered.

Yay!!!!! You know you love it lol! Just review!! And no offense to those cheerleaders reading this, if there are any.

Flapwazzle

(the devious wazzle)

P.s. I owe my life to my wonderful, amazing, spectacular, magnificent, incredible, and hardworking beta Flapz (who beta'd this in 15 minutes)

The above acknowledgement added by Flapz