Chapter 10

Xavier was impatient by the time Barnabas showed up. He had made his decision at last. And that Duncan woman at the party had helped him make it.

He took another drink of carrot juice. It was the right decision, he knew. But he still couldn't help feeling uneasy about it..

"You said you had an answer?" Barnabas tried to hide his nervousness He felt giddy and light after all that crying the night before.

"Yes. Sit down, please."

"I understand why you wouldn't want me. It is not an easy thing to understand."

Xavier interrupted him. "I've been getting all kinds of advice lately. And none of it addressed the issue. What are the pluses, and what are the minuses of hiring you?

"And?"

"On the minus side, I get nervous with you around."

"I understand."

"On the plus side, you can do the job. You already have the contacts. You want this venture to succeed. I cannot think that you'll go on working for me without pay forever. And by the way so many stands up for you, I don't think that you'll go on working for me without pay forever."

Barnabas waited, saying nothing.

"The pluses outnumber the minuses. You are hired."

"I am?"

"Yes. And I got your first task. I want to give a talk about U.F.O.s. You make the arrangements."

Barnabas groaned inwardly, but said nothing. Davenport was paying him for it.

George relaxed in his office. He had drunk too much at the party, he realized. he should go to bed, except that, due to some quirk of his physiology, alcohol sometimes gave him insomnia.

How was Barnabas doing today? He saw him as he had been last night., moaning piteously against his palm, shivering, curled up, unable to move by himself. He had had to put him in his coffin when dawn came, since Barnabas seemed incapable of doing so by himself. And he had kept moaning, helpless, as dawn finally broke and sent him into unconsciousness.

"I hope he's all right now. It would be a pity if after coming all this way, he would go off the deep end."

If would be so much easier, he thought, if he hated him, instead. If he did not know him so well, and cared about him. Then he could do the self-righteous thing. In fact, he had sworn to do it when he found out that Dave was dead, and he had not been willing to believe it was a natural death.

"And instead I fell in love with his murderer. Crazy, world, isn't it?'

"Yes. It is crazy."

George turned around, surprised. Dave was standing there, looking amused.

"Dave..."

"George." Dave smiled indulgently "you've grown, have you?"

"Yes."

"And you never married."

"It is not my style"

"Do you regret it? If I hadn't seduced you, you'd have a normal life now."

"You didn't seduce me. and I was already doing it with other boys."

"But still you could have..."

'I am happy as I am. As you were. Leave it at that." straightened up "Tell me, am I doing the right thing? About Barnabas. He's changed. You would not recognize him now."

"I know. I realize that I was at fault too. I was confronting a mental case, and I couldn't think of anything better than to call him evil and loathsome. Completely contrary to recommended procedure." he shook his head. "And I called myself a doctor."

"He was insane, then, wasn't he? He wasn't legally responsible..."

"If there was ever a candidate for the funny farm, it was him."

"But why won't he admit it?"

"Admit that he was a Twinkie? A nut?" Dave shook his head "that he went around in a funny hat, pretending to be Napoleon?"

"I don't mean that."

"That's what insane means in the vernacular. It is a question of pride for him. He'd rather go on a guilt trip than let the stigma of mental illness attach to him."

"But that is stupid!"

"I never said that he was smart. But then, neither would you, in his position.. You don't find many people willing to say that they belong in the cuckoo's nest.

"I worry about him."

"You should. He is in a bad place. He's got all the memories back. He knew that he had done many wrong tings, but never with full details...He could keep separate from them. Now he has to integrate who he was with who he is now. All of a sudden, while being a spectator at someone else's breakdown. He's going to need some serious TLC."

"Will he make it?"

"He's tough, and he's survived quite a lot. But still, he will hurt like crazy until he is done."

Torrance got out of bed reluctantly. The thought of another day in the office made him ill.

He stood in front of the mirror, ready to shave.

"If I didn't have an electric razor, I could slash my throat."

His eyes in the mirror were haunted. He hadn't seen eyes like that since...since..

Since Megan Todd had dug her fangs into his neck.

But it wasn't the same. Not at all. - he recognized tiredly - at least then I knew that I was in the right. I could hate her with a clear conscience.

Why was he holding out? What was he fighting for, anyway? His career? People did the worst things with that excuse. The Department? It was falling by itself, destroyed internally by corruption. His friends there? they were not friends and he knew it.

So why not give up?

Give up to the neo-conservative vultures? To the Me generation?

Was it pride? he asked himself did he wish to go down holding up the liberal banner to the last?

Maybe he would be lucky after all. Maybe the Skylab would fall on him.

Amy and Elsa spent the morning beachcombing.

"What do you want to do with all the shells?" Amy asked Elsa.

"We could make jewelry and sell to the tourists."

"I don't know how. You better start a collection of them."

"You could learn. That's what Mao Tse Tung said "what you don't know, you learn."

"You quote communists now?" Amy laughed.

"On odd days. On even days I quote fascists."

"Quote a fascist"

"I can't this is an odd day. Come tomorrow."

"Who do you quote on national holidays?"

"Hubert Humphrey." Elsa showed Amy the shell she and in her hand. "Did you see this one? A shell glued on top of another?"

"Very curious, yes"

"And this one is a periwinkle. I they stay long enough underwater they drown."

"How can a snail drown?"

"Glub.. glub...glub..."

"It can't be."

"I read it in a book. A biology book."

Phillip strode into town. It was nice to do so. And now that he would be able to play the sax in one of the cafes during the summer, he would be able to make some extra money.

It was a good thing that Barnabas couldn't be aware of anything between dawn and dusk. He could practice as long as he liked without getting on anyone's nerves. Megan had told him plenty about it when...

No. Don't think about the past. It is over now.

He was amused thought. Megan hadn't wanted to listen to him play. Now, if she wanted to, she'd save to pay admission first.

He found himself standing in front of an antique shop. A wave of nostalgia caught him. His shop had been like this one...

He came in, as if pulled by an invisible string and looked around...

Inside there was a bottle. With a ship inside.

"Mr. Todd, are you sick?" the salesgirl asked as the color drained off his face.