Chapter 10

Jasper laughed, and turned the horse in a new direction and urged the horse forward. We were flying across the field, and though I knew I could just as easily outrun this horse, I had no desire to try. What I had thought was grace in motion, a running vampire, became nothing compared riding bareback on this gorgeous, noble creature. We ran through groups of horses, who scattered as we passed by, looking mildly offended and a bit alarmed at the behavior of their fellow horse. We approached the end of the paddock, and suddenly Jasper's arm clenched around me. I nearly fell off as Jasper tightened his hold on me, and reached forward and pulled firmly on the horse's mane. The horse reared back its head and slowed abruptly. My head flew forward, but I didn't fall. Jasper maintained an ever tightening grip around my waist. The horse was still moving when Jasper moved his leg upwards, sliding my leg over the back the horse. His arms dragged me off the horse, and I found my feet dangling inches above the ground as Jasper straightened himself, holding me up.

Jasper grinned and set me down gently as I felt the absence of my racing heart.

"Did I scare you?"

"You know you did!" I said, glaring at him indignantly.

"Nice trick, huh?"

"Nice," I said sarcastically.

"You still had fun though," he said, flashing a bright smile.

"I did," I said, rolling my eyes. "I actually had an amazing time."

Jasper began to stroll in the direction from which we'd just come. I walked beside him, my eyes following the horse we'd just dismounted.

"You know I haven't ridden in over a hundred years? It's nice to know I can still do it." He paused for a moment and looked down at me with a soft smile. "I'm really glad you had fun Bella."

Our eyes met briefly before I glanced down at my feet and smiled shyly.

"Shall we head back to the car?" he suggested.

"Yeah, sure, assuming it's still there."

"It should be, I turned the engine off before I came after you."

"Oh," I shrugged.

"So where were you going anyway, when you decided to storm off?"

I glared over at him. "I wasn't storming off."

"Bella, you practically stomped your feet as your crossed the road. I'm surprised you didn't crack the pavement."

"Wouldn't be the first time I've done that," I muttered.

"Huh?"

"Nothing," I said quickly. "I wasn't going anywhere in particular, just going, you know? Away," I said, gesturing forward with my hand.

"Bella the Nomadic Vampire," he mused.

"Sounds like a Saturday morning cartoon."

"Or an educational film strip from the sixties," Jasper added.

"God you're old, you actually watched those things when they were new," I teased.

"Thanks youngin'," he said, looping an arm around my neck and pulling my head down to his chest.

I ducked out of his arm before he could give me a noogie and laughed again.

We'd nearly reached the end of the pasture when a horse came trotting up to us, looking expectantly from me to Jasper. We stopped walking and I reached up and gave him an appreciative pat.

"I wonder if he's hungry," I said, as the horse buried his nose into my hand with interest.

"Probably," Jasper said, shoving his hands into his pockets. "I know the feeling," he said sullenly, staring at the horse intently, his eyes darkening.

My jaw dropped and I slapped him in the arm. "Jasper!" I scolded.

"Jesus, relax Bella, I'm not going to eat the damn horse!" Jasper cried in annoyance, glaring at me.

I gave him an appraising look and then rolled my eyes and started walking faster, leaving him behind. There was a snorting sound, followed by hooting laughter. I spun around, and Jasper had stopped and was bent over, hold his sides as he howled.

I put my hands on my hips and raised my eyebrows.

"You thought I—" Jasper gasped. "You, you thought I was going eat the horse!" he howled.

"So what if I did? I didn't want you to eat the horse!" I said indignantly.

"You should have—" he cried, gulping, "You should have seen your fa—" he said, dissolving into laughter before he could finish his sentence. His laughter seemed to grip him, as it forced him onto his knees.

A wave of hilarity came off of him, and hit me, and I couldn't resist giggling and walked forward. I held out a hand and shook my head. "Come on Jasper, let's get you fed."

Jasper took a few deep breaths and looked up at me, a grin still plastered on his face. He struggled to hold back the laughter as he reached up and took my hand, pulling himself to his feet.

"You're silly," I commented as we took off running in the direction of the car. "So hunting..." I said, hesitating. "I was thinking we might just to a wooded area, and start from there? See if we could find anything worth hunting?" I suggested, looking over at Jasper.

The grin melted away from his face and he grimaced at me. "You're talking about hunting animals?"

"Yes," I said firmly. I was disappointed. I wasn't surprised, but I was definitely disappointed.

Jasper sighed deeply and stared straight ahead. "I suppose there are some coyotes and bobcats towards the woods, maybe near some of the farms, that we might be able to hunt. They tend to pick off the livestock. We could also find deer, though I really detest the idea of hunting any sort of herbivore. What are you in the mood for?"

My jaw tightened, and I spoke the truth, "It doesn't really matter to me," I said, shrugging.

We jumped the last fence and I approached the car. Jasper hesitated only a moment by the car then went around to the passenger side of the car. I slid into the driver's seat, and absentmindedly pulled my seatbelt on.

Jasper smirked at me, but I chose to ignore him, leaning forward and pinching the two wires together beneath the steering column, the engine purring to life.

"So where did you learn how to hotwire an engine?" Jasper asked, amused.

I pulled onto the road and sped along, my eyes searching the horizon for the first sign of a break in pastures and farmland, for woods. "Your wife taught me," I said distractedly.

Jasper sighed. "You've got to stop doing that."

"Stop doing what?"

"Why don't you say Alice's name?"

"I don't know," I said, looking over at Jasper and meeting his concerned expression. "I guess it just hurts to think about Alice…or Edward," I said, their names setting my whole body to aching. I flinched slightly, and focused on driving.

"It hurts me too," Jasper said quietly. "I miss them a lot."

"Me too," I whispered, not looking over, my hands tightening around the steering wheel.

We drove in silence for nearly forty miles until a line of thick pines broke the horizon.

"Looks promising," Jasper said unenthusiastically as he leaned forward, staring out the windshield.

"Yep," I said, as we approached the forest. Trees ran on either side of the road, and I eased onto the shoulder and into the shade.

"Ready?" I asked, putting the car into park, and unbuckling my seatbelt.

"Yeah," he said reluctantly, getting out of the car.

I got out and stood next to Jasper, taking in a few breaths. The forest wasn't nearly as dense as it had appeared. It was only a couple of miles deep. Still, there was certainly viable prey within the trees, though the smell of cattle hung thick in the air. I suspected it was a scent that never really went away in this part of the state.

Jasper took a few deep breaths, a scowl set deeply on his face. I could feel the disgust radiating off of him to the point that the scents began to turn my stomach a bit as well. He glanced at me, and I chewed my bottom lip nervously.

"I'll be right behind you," I said whispered.

He nodded once and took off through the trees. I followed silently, a few strides behind him.

Jasper darted in and out of patches of sunlight, deeper into the woods. I could smell what he was after, though I couldn't necessarily pinpoint exactly what sort of animal it was. It was definitely a carnivore though. Jasper slowed and crouched near a group of trees. I reached up and caught a low hanging branch and soundlessly pulled myself into a tree. I straddled the branch and craned my neck to see what he was hunting.

The smell of blood hit me, a rabbit, freshly killed. Whatever Jasper was hunting had just finished hunting as well.

Jasper sidestepped in his crouch, stalking his prey. That's when I saw it, about thirty yards away. A coyote was tearing apart a rabbit, its back to Jasper. The wind shifted, putting Jasper and I upwind. The coyote, startled, straightened up, and looked around. Suddenly it broke out into a run, and Jasper sprinted after it, chasing it down.

The kill happened relatively quickly, however when Jasper sank his teeth into the coyote's neck, he immediately pulled away, spitting in disgust, sending a spray of blood, which stained his shirt and part of his pants. He grimaced and returned back to his kill. A few minutes later he stood up and looked down at himself, and turned back to me, looking sheepishly. I shrugged, giving him an encouraging smile.

He wrinkled his nose and closed his eyes. His chest rose and fell a few times. His eyes opened, and he ran in another direction. I leapt down and followed. I was careful to stay far enough behind Jasper that he wouldn't perceive me as a threat to his kill. Even though he was clearly aware of my presence, hunting in groups, even for mature vampires took strict concentration, discipline, and practice, in order to keep from attacking members of the hunting party.

I saw Jasper take down a second coyote before it even was aware of Jasper's presence. I perched on a fallen tree, watching Jasper who, more carefully this time, slowly drained the body of its blood. He was half finished when he abruptly stood up, dropping the coyote's body. Blood trickled down Jasper's chin, as he turned and stared off towards the edge of the woods, his eyes glazed over.

I looked at him, and then looked in the direction in which he was staring. My brow furrowed, and I walked towards him to get a better view of whatever had caught his attention. Then the scent drifted past me. Human.

Then he was gone, tearing through the woods towards the scent.

"Jasper!" I cried warningly as I took off after him.

He had a head start on me, and I could see him as he ran through the thinning trees. The smell of cattle grew stronger, and I could hear a tractor engine running not too far off.

"Jasper!" I called again. "Stop this!"

Jasper began to run faster. I growled and without any effort caught up to him. I clapped my hands on Jasper's shoulders and yanked him to the ground, tripping over him in the process. Jasper roared in protest and glared over at me, his eyes black. I was grateful that he was still aware enough to not pick a fight with me. All the same, I slid my legs out of his immediate grasp.

I sat up and brushed myself off. My pants had a nasty rip in the left knee that went halfway up my thigh, and the bottom three buttons on my shirt had been popped off. I hastily tucked my shirt to keep my stomach from showing.

"Still feel like hunting?" I asked.

"Yes," Jasper sighed, standing up, and reaching out for my hand. I took it and stood up.

The tractor rumbled off in the distance. We were just on the outskirts of the woods, and I could easily see a man sitting on the back of a tractor, which trundled along, downhill, towards a farm house. While the scent of human was certainly strong, I found the smell of diesel and grease far more appealing. It reminded me of my old red truck.

A cow uttered a loud "MOO!" from directly behind us, making me jump. I turned around and had a mildly offended look on my face. The cow wandered idly past us with a vacant expression on its face. When I'd turned back, Jasper had taken off after the human again.

"Jasper, come on, you don't want to do this!" I cried, catching up to him almost immediately. I looped my arms beneath his armpits and around his shoulders, clasping my hands behind his neck, and pulled him to a halt, pinning his arms tightly.

Jasper snarled and struggled against me, attempting to throw me over his shoulders.

"Oh, I have had just about enough of this," I said dryly, and lifted him off his feet, maintaining the hold.

"Bella, put me down!" he cried, kicking his feet.

"No Jasper, you're not chasing after humans anymore," I said, carrying him towards a group of cows that were enjoying the shade in the trees.

"Bella, I'm fine! Really, you can put me down," Jasper whined, struggling against me. "I'll hunt something else!"

"No need, I've done the hunting for you," I said, releasing Jasper, who fell to his knees. He looked up bewildered at the cows and then back up at me.

"You can't be serious!" he gasped.

"Jasper, either you find something in the woods, or steak is on the menu—but Farmer Bob is not making an appearance on it today, nor will he ever, if I have anything to do it with it."

A cow mooed loudly, a fetid smell of partially chewed grain and grass wafted over both of us. Jasper looked positively affronted and even I couldn't hide my disgust.

"I'll find something in the woods," he said sullenly, standing up and backing away from the cows, eyeing them warily.

We walked side by side through the woods, though Jasper watched me suspiciously out of the corner of one eye. He was probably worried I'd put him in a half-nelson again. He managed to find another coyote, and stomached a deer before he'd finally had his fill. He turned to find me lounging on a tree branch, one leg hanging down. It was my bookshelf pose. I missed the feeling of being up high, relaxed, a foot dangling down. Still, this came close to filling that deep need I'd been feeling for the past couple days, since I'd left home.

I was still very much aware of Jasper, carefully regarding him, making sure he didn't take off after a human again, but my mind was elsewhere at the same time. I was dreaming, my own form of dreaming anyway. I was recalling my first hunt. Edward had taken all the precautions, checking out the area for wayward humans. He'd brought along Emmett, Alice, and Jasper; Emmett, because his strength enabled him to reign me in, by force if necessary, Alice, because she wouldn't stay home, even if Edward had asked, and Jasper because he would be able to calm me if I got too out of hand. Edward of course had the upper hand in speed, and was capable of chasing me down if I got away from them. He was the only one capable of running faster than me. But I hadn't needed any of it. It was as if I'd been meant to take to this life. I could still see Edward's pleased, if but a little surprised expression as I gave into my instinct, and chased down a mountain lion with little to no coaching. It was only when I became consumed by the hunt, seemingly turning into a bottomless pit, hunting down deer, after deer, after deer, chasing down nearly a dozen deer in total, that Jasper stepped in and soothed my bloodlust. I'd felt rather ill after that experience, but it was because of the vast quantity of blood I'd consumed that Carlisle had accounted my rapid change in eye color. It had only taken a few weeks for my eyes to change to honey gold. I'd always worried that Edward would somehow not see me the same way once I was changed. And in a way, I was right. I stopped being breakable to him, but I continued to be precious, something he protected in almost a jealous manner. But one of my larger fears had been that he would miss my brown human eyes too much, that somehow he would be less in love with me because of their absence. Despite my red irises, the night after my first hunt, Edward took my face in his hands and stared deeply into my eyes, and whispered, "You are still the most beautiful thing I have ever seen."

There was a gentle tug on my leg, and I looked down to see Jasper smiling up at me expectantly.

"You there?" he asked, the smile widening.

"I'm here," I said, sighing, and hopping down out of the tree.

"What were you thinking about? You feel…" his eyes searched mine for a moment, "warm and sad," he said slowly.

"I was just thinking about some stuff," I said, trying to duck the question. "Did you get your fill?" I asked, walking in the direction of the car.

"Yeah, I think I'm good. Now what about you?" he asked tentatively.

"What about me?"

"Well, aren't you going to hunt?" Jasper asked, walking past me. "I think I left a few animals for you in the woods, unless you prefer cow, then we could head for the pasture," he said grinning as he turned around and faced me.

"No, I'm good. I hunted three days ago."

"Still, you're going to turn down a meal?"

"Yep," I said, avoiding his eyes that were now searching my emotions.

"You're anxious."

I sighed and began to walk faster, pushing past him.

"How recently did you pick up the habit of ducking questions?" he asked.

"I told you I ate three days ago, with Emmett."

"Yeah, but you got anxious when I asked you what you were thinking about."

"Maybe I'm just not used to having people wonder what I'm thinking about."

"I doubt that's the case. I bet no one asked you though."

I sniffed, and looked up at Jasper who was staring down at me intently. "You're probably right about that."

"So what were you thinking about?"

"I was just thinking about my first hunt," I admitted.

"That was an interesting day," Jasper said thoughtfully. "I remember watching you, waiting for you to just lose it, to go after someone."

"But I never did."

"I know, and it drove me crazy."

"Why?" I asked in surprise.

"Well, because I'd seen so many other newborns, including myself go through what I thought was the normal routine: Wake up from the burning, and go and massacre a group of humans. When you didn't do that, when the hardest thing for you to do was to stop consuming animal blood, it threw me for a loop. I felt like everything I'd understood to be the gospel for vampires was potentially just a self fulfilling prophecy instead. It made me feel really bad for things I did as a newborn."

I stopped and turned to Jasper, who slowed and turned to face me, his eyes troubled. "What did you do when you were a newborn?" I asked.

"I've never told anyone about, except Alice, and because he couldn't help but know, Edward."

"Oh," I said, biting my bottom lip. "Sorry, I shouldn't have asked."

"No, it's okay. In the past few days you've seen me nearly as bad as I've ever been, you might as well know the rest," he said, shuffling his feet. He exhaled sharply, and turned and walked a few feet away from me, running a hand through his hair.

I leaned back against a tree as he began to tell his story.

"After Maria changed me, I was of course parched, starving, the bloodlust doubled by Maria's own desires. And I wasn't told that I needed to hold back, instead I was told there were houses filled with people who could quell my thirst, and that all I needed to do was give over to my instinct. And for me, my instinct didn't tell me to stop until I'd killed every person living on this particular farm, the family, the farmhands, and even the soldiers who were being boarded in the barn, possibly the very same soldiers I'd held command over in days previous." Jasper turned and stared at me, his eyes blazing. His red eyes were now slightly muddied from his animal blood consumption. "And for me, that was only the beginning, because I love the taste, the scent of human blood," he said, walking towards me. "The gentle popping of the skin as I sunk my teeth into a human's neck is one of the most sensual sounds I've ever heard. The whispers of confusion, the gasping breaths and the look in their eyes as they realize that everything they thought was a fairytale is true, and it's happening to them," he purred, putting a hand on the tree over my head and leaning down so that we were eye to eye, "It's all a part of the experience. And the blood, so sweet and salty at the same time, running hot down my throat, with every panicked heartbeat pumping it faster and faster, before the heart stops beating altogether," he said his face only inches from mine. "I swear," he whispered, his lips now next to my ear, "Human blood is my endorphin, and one of the biggest turn-on's I have ever experienced."

He exhaled, his cool breath tickling my ear and neck, and I shivered beneath him. In that moment I suddenly understood the desire, the need to consume human blood, and not only did I understand it, but I craved it. I felt my eyes darken, as I could suddenly remember the smell of that farmer on the tractor. I could picture how easy it would be to take him down, no, he didn't stand a chance against my strength or speed. My breathing deepened, and I leaned my head back, my rapid intakes of breath searching out for even a whisper of that scent. I wanted to experience the human's heart pump its life force into me, I wanted to see the life slip away from his eyes as I drained it from him. I took another deep gasping breath and looked back into Jasper's eyes. They'd become black as he stared into mine, a smirk painted across his face. He wanted this too.