Their Valentines day is quiet and sweet, lazy and simple. Cosima is on her off-week between her first and second rounds. Cosima tries really hard to eat the homemade crepes that Delphine makes for brunch without showing signs that her stomach is threatening to empty itself. Delphine is careful to make Cosima's crepes smaller than her own, less fruit decorating the insides and a smaller plate. Cosima pretends she doesn't notice.

They venture again to their bench atop the hill, holding hands through thick mittens and pulling scarves down to kiss between puffs of steamy breath. Eventually, they decide it's simply too cold, and go back to the warmth of their home. Cosima is still shivering after being inside for twenty minutes but brushes it off, blaming it on her 'San Fran blood'.

Delphine is fiddling with her phone as she scrolls through her library, looking for a certain playlist she made a few days ago when she hears a clunk and a 'shit' from the kitchen.

"Chérie?"

"It's okay! Keep doing your thing, it's fine!"

Delphine chuckles to herself before finding the playlist and selecting it, the music hooked up to the speakers. Delphine glances over her shoulder as she hears glass clinking with Cosima's arrival. She holds a bottle of champagne, two glasses and a box of chocolates in her arms, a sheepish look on her face.

"Okay, so I know we said no gifts but this doesn't count as a gift because like, it's chocolate and I always buy us chocol-"

She's cut off by Delphine's lips on hers, effectively silencing her.

"Merci, Cosma." Delphine murmurs, her lips brushing Cosima's with a smile.

Cosima grins and kisses her again before pulling away, setting the open bottle and glasses down on the end table. She pours two glasses, handing one to Delphine before sitting on the couch. Delphine sits with her legs pressed against Cosima's, feet tucked under her own thighs. Cosima clinks her glass with Delphine's, a lopsided smile on her face.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Del."

"Happy Valentine's Day, mon ange."

They both drink the champagne simultaneously. Delphine loves the way the bubbles wash over her tongue and down her throat, reminding her of France. They sip at their drinks, chatting on and off between kisses and bites of chocolate.

Cosima's eyes go wide with excitement as a song starts with quick piano notes. She stands up and sets her empty glass on the table before turning and curtsying in front of Delphine.

"What are you doing?" Delphine asks with a giggle.

Cosima extends her hand to Delphine.

"Asking you to dance, obviously."

Delphine shakes her head with a smile, setting her own glass down before taking Cosima's hand and standing up. Cosima rests her hand against Delphine's hip, Delphine's hand resting on Cosima's shoulder.

"L is for the way you look at me..." Cosima sings along, smiling up a Delphine.

They sway to the music, slowly stepping circles in the center of the room. As the music speeds up Cosima leans more from side to side, adding a playful feel to their dance. She bounces from foot to foot, leading Delphine around the room. Delphine laughs as she tries to keep up with her pace.

"Two in love can make it..."

Cosima suddenly let's go of Delphine's hip, twirling her around before pulling her back. Delphine underestimates her speed and bumps into Cosima, causing a bark of laughter. They hop around to the music, grinning like fools. Cosima tries a spin again, and this time Delphine rocks the ending, ending up with her back pressed against Cosima's front. Cosima's arms are wrapped around Delphine's waist. Cosima leans their torsos side to side, still bouncing slightly to the peppy tune.

"Love was made for me and you..."

Delphine's eyes slide shut, losing herself in the moment. The warmth of Cosima against her back, bare toes weaved in the shag carpet, the lingering smell of crepes and the taste of Cosima and champagne on her tongue. She's in utter bliss, her smile refusing to leave her face.

"Love is all that I can give to you..."

Delphine turns in Cosima's arms, cupping her cheeks. She kisses her forehead, her nose, her cheekbone. She peppers Cosima's face in delicate kisses before kissing her lips. Cosima leans up on her tip-toes, moving her arms to rest on Delphine's shoulders.

Cosima swipes her tongue, to which Delphine responds eagerly. Delphine moves her hands to grab at the neckline of Cosima's dress, kissing harder. Cosima tastes of champagne and chai tea and love, a taste Delphine will never get enough of. Delphine nips at Cosima's lip, wanting more. Delphine moves her hands to settle against Cosima's toned abdomen, not-so-subtly pushing her towards the bedroom. She has a long night planned for the two of them and is eager to start.

Cosima chuckles against her mouth, Delphine kissing her smile. She steps away from Delphine, whose bottom lip emerges in a pout.

"You have another present." Cosima says playfully.

Can't it wait?

"What? Where?" Delphine asks, hoping to get it opened quickly so they can get back to kissing.

Cosima smirks as she unzips her own dress, slipping the straps down her shoulders and pooling at her feet.

Oh.

Cosima stands with her hip cocked, wearing a lacy set of black lingerie. Well, a sheer lace black bra and impossibly small panties, both leaving little to Delphine's imagination.

Delphine stands rooted to her spot, her eyes failing to focus on one spot on Cosima's toned body.

"Like it?" Cosima says, posing.

Delphine surges forward, kissing with bruising force and hands roaming freely. Cosima kisses back before linking their hands and turning around.

"C'mon, we haven't got all night." She teases with a wink, leading Delphine to the bedroom. Delphine trails eagerly behind her.

I'm going to open this present for as long as humanly possible.

Delphine lays awake in the early morning light, sheets still warm with sleep. She can't sleep very well recently, staring at the back of Cosima's head and jerking awake as soon as she falls asleep. She hasn't slept well since after Valentines Day over a week ago.

She tries to ignore the chill in her gut as retching sounds come from the bathroom, a not uncommon sound as of late. Cosima is halfway through her second round of aggressive medication, and it's started to affect her fully. Cosima spends the majority of her time sitting down when she's not at work. Delphine resumes her ugly habit of biting at her nails, the familiar scrape of nail against enamel easing her mind temporarily. Cosima always tries to jump to her feet to kiss Delphine when she comes home, but more than once Delphine has woken a sleeping Cosima up with a kiss to her forehead. She sees Cosima leaning on furniture tiredly, but Delphine pretends to not notice. Instead, she ensnares her lip between her teeth and grinds uneasily at the flesh. Cosima's nausea has evolved into vomiting, and her body sags with tiredness and aches for a good portion of her day.

She never fails to smile for Delphine, though. She never complains of her joints that hurt to move or her constantly churning stomach, her body begging to rest and her heavy eyelids. Instead she smiles and laughs through her pain.

She turns her head to look at the clock. 06:47 the green numbers glow in the darkness of the room. I have to get going in thirteen minutes anyways. She props herself up on her elbows, rubbing her calves together beneath the sheets. I hope the clinic isn't too busy today, maybe I can have lunch with Alison without interruption. Does Cosima have work today? I hope she has a day off, she's so tired recently. Should I wear my hair up tod-

A loud thud followed by a sharp wail and a long moan from behind the door has her kicking the sheets aside and stumbling to the bathroom hurriedly. Her chest feels cold, her mind flashing back to the first time she heard that sound all those weeks ago.

Delphine flings the door open to find Cosima leaning against the bathtub, her arm hooked around the ledge and her lower half on the floor. Vomit is soaking her front and smeared down one side of her face. Her face is scrunched up in pain, her fingers gripping the tub tightly. Delphine rushes to her side, sitting on her haunches. The sharp smell invades her nose and her hands hover over Cosima, unsure of how to help without hurting her further.

"What happened? Are you okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine just-"

Cosima tries to pull herself up but winces and yelps at the sudden pain, falling with a dull thud against the floor. Her fist clenches and her grip on the tub falters, falling fully onto the floor. Delphine's heart tugs painfully at the sight, but she knows she needs to get Cosima up, at least sitting.

"I'm sorry if this hurts." Delphine says quickly, grabbing Cosima's underarms and hoisting her up to slouch against the tub. Cosima cries out when her spine comes in rough contact with the hard surface, but quickly clenches her teeth to silence any further noises that could indicate the true caliber of her pain.

"What can I do, Cosima?" Delphine asks, her hands resting under Cosima's arms.

Cosima pants, every expansion of her ribs sending a stab of pain to her side.

"Just uh... just help me... stand up." She exhales.

Delphine nods, preparing herself for the task. She adjusts to stand with her feet on either side of Cosima's knees, her hands gripping Cosima's underarms.

"Ready?" Delphine asks, looking into Cosima's eyes.

Cosima inhales deeply before biting her lip hard and closes her eyes, nodding. Cosima places her hands on Delphine's arms, bracing herself. Delphine musters her courage and pulls Cosima up in one swift movement.

Delphine will never shake the sound that Cosima emits.

Cosima's lip is red when her jaw wrenches wide as a loud strangled cry rips out of her throat, her head surging back and neck muscles tightening. Cosima's knees buckle under her, fingernails digging sharp half-moons into Delphine's shoulders.

Delphine clambours to support her weight, reaching her arms around Cosima's back. Cosima leans her weight against Delphine's front, breathing heavily once stable on her feet. Cosima's reeking vomit soaks into Delphine's shirt.

Cosima breathes against Delphine's shoulder, arms trembling as she clings to Delphine.

"I uh... I need... to clean up." Cosima says between breaths, lessening her grip on Delphine. Cosima lets go of Delphine's shoulders, only to reattach seconds later. Her fingertips press hard into Delphine, her grip tight.

"Let me help you?" Delphine asks.

"No, no I can do it-" Cosima's knees give out, colliding against Delphine's front again. Her forehead shines with sweat.

This is exhausting her.

"Cosima, you can barely stand up."

Cosima shakes her head, trying to free herself. She stands unassisted momentarily before her jaw tightens and she swears under her breath, bracing herself against Delphine's forearms.

"Let me help you, okay?" Delphine tries again.

Please.

Cosima exhales, staring at the floor as she wobbles. After a few moments of silence, she nods slowly. Delphine guides Cosima to sit on the edge of the tub before gently pulling her ruined shirt up and over Cosima's head. Delphine's heart jumps to her throat at the sight of previously hidden deep purple bruise colouring her side.

"Cosima!"

"It's nothing! It's nothing, don't worry."

"How old is this?" Delphine's professional brain whirrs alive, inspecting the colours and apparent pain level.

Cosima avoids Delphine's eyes as she mumbles "a few days"

"Why didn't you tell me?" Delphine asks sadly.

"I just, I dunno... I didn't want to worry you."

"We're in this together, chérie," Delphine ghosts her index finger under Cosima's chin, looking into her eyes,"I want to know when you're hurting. Inside or out."

Cosima nods, her head falling to one side. Delphine helps her out of her pants, revealing bruising on her knee. She presses featherlight kisses to the bruises, careful to not apply too much pressure. Cosima smiles down at Delphine as she kisses. Delphine quickly strips out of her own clothing before turning on the shower, not too hot, to prevent Cosima's bruises from worsening. She helps Cosima under the spray, cleaning with a soft lather and even softer hands. Cosima leans on her forearm against the shower wall, shoulder muscles twitching.

She finds further bruises at various stages of healing peppering Cosima's back and winces before kissing the water droplets off of them. As she steps aside to fill her palm with soap, she notices small differences in Cosima's body that she hadn't seen while she was clothed. The notches of her spine aren't glaring, but are definitely more visible than before, the slope from shoulder to neck more horizontal. Cosima begins to turn and face her, but Delphine quickly resumes her actions.

Cosima is losing weight, Delphine swallows, and it's starting to show.

"I'm sorry," Cosima says once they're out and dry, "I just... I just don't like it, you know? I don't like being weak. Or being seen as weak, I guess." Cosima sits atop the dryer as Delphine puts their stained clothing in the washing machine. Cosima plays with her rings, flicking them absently as she speaks. The band that used to fit snug on her skin twirls easily around her finger.

"I know, that's okay. Just let me help you when you need it, okay? Asking for help when you need it is strong, not weak." Delphine walks to Cosima, cupping her jaw and standing between her legs.

"Okay, I will. Thank you for helping." Cosima covers Delphine's hands with her own small hands.

"Whatever you need, I'm here. Just tell me when you're hurting next time, inside or out, okay?" Delphine presses her forehead to Cosima's.

Cosima threads her fingers with Delphine's, exhaling as her eyes slide shut contently. Delphine can feel more space between their interlocked fingers than usual, less skin touching. Cosima nods against Delphine's forehead.

"I just need you." Cosima sighs.

Delphine smiles sadly.

"Me too."

LOVE - Frank Sinatra