Chapter 9: Broken Hearts Sound Like Broken Glass
Theodore and Eleanor were sleeping in their apartment the next day. The spent most of that day asleep and they both weren't ready to face what could possibly happen when Simon found out what had happened that night before. Brittney was far angrier than anyone had ever seen her before, and Alvin tried to do all he could to calm her down. After a while she would calm down on her own accord but not after a long struggle. The incident had brought up old bad feelings about what happened between the two of them and she wasn't receptive to his aid. Alvin, who was honestly trying his hardest to distract her, started to lose his patience. There was only so much he could handle; he wasn't getting angry with her, just frustrated. His frustration wasn't allowed to vent in fear of the repercussion that he would face after the venting. They all faced their own problems and sooner or later they forgot to tell Simon what had transpired the night previous.
Brittney had left all of her rage behind her but she still didn't want to be with Alvin. He lamented the fact that they had witnessed that fateful kiss. The next night, Alvin had made his way to their apartment.
"Hey Alvin, where've you been?" Simon was calling to his brother from the other room. He was in the kitchen and Alvin wandered in to meet him.
"I've been at Brittney's place," he sat down at the kitchen table and put is head into his arms and started to sleep.
"Whoa, are you really asleep right now?" Alvin didn't respond to the inquisition, "Alvin, wake up, it's only 6 o'clock."
"I'm alright," he said as he lifted his head, "I'm just very tired; I redefine tired right this second."
"Why are you so tired?" he sat down.
"Oh Brittney and I are just going through some things right now."
"Older things?"
"Yeah things from our past, we just are going through the same old nonsense. It's just that, we need to move on for her to heal and she keeps hanging on to the past."
"Well, Alvin, there were some really bad things going on between the two of you for a while. She's still hurting I'm sure. It's not going to be easy to heal from a hurt that deep." Simon went and put on a Silversun Pickups Vinyl, "I mean, look at it from her perspective. She might not want to admit it, but she loves you very deeply and when your confidence is so profoundly broken the only way to cope is to hang on. The problem is she's not thinking all too rationally, but, in this case, rationality isn't the best choice. "
Alvin went from the kitchen into the living room where Simon was, "Is this the new album."
"No it's Carnavas," Simon looked at his brother while he sat down, "Well, what are you going to do about the whole situation?"
"We'll continue to work it out and I'll be with her to get through the pain I've caused," Alvin walked away, "that's the least I owe her."
Simon looked over to his brother. He had matured so rapidly the last few years. The Alvin he knew in high school was completely changed, and they had gotten along better than they had ever before, "I'm proud of you, Alvin."
He laughed, "There's nothing to really be proud of. It's honestly what should be done and I'll take the blame. My actions were what cause all these problems, inebriated or otherwise."
Alvin and Brittney slowly stopped seeing each other and decided to take a break. The schism that had happened a year ago had made a lasting impression and they were both worried about their happiness thereafter. It was unspoken but they understood that it wasn't going to work for quite a while. Theodore and Eleanor had almost completely forgotten what happened that night in the city and they were throwing themselves into wedding planning. Jeanette was nowhere to be found, he excuse was that she was working on a project and needed time alone to finish it. Nobody believed that for a second, even Simon who didn't know about the altercation that had passed nights ago. It was the end of March and it started to get slowly warmer. The trees were budding and the grass returned to a healthy green. Weeds started to grow and were quickly dispatched when anyone realized they were there.
"Hey Alvin, I'm really bored, do you want to hang out together tonight?"
Brittney had called Alvin for the first time in weeks. He didn't realize how long it had been until she called him again, but for whatever reason, it didn't bother him that they weren't talking, "I have a paper due tomorrow so if I finish it I'll come out with you," he paused and continued, "Where do you want to go?"
She lingered. Their conversations had become stunted and stale. It was like their friendship was charred at the edges, "Anywhere really, we could go find a show or something."
A breeze drifted into Alvin's room as he sat at his desk, "Do you know of anything going on?"
"I'm not sure, I can ask Mary but she's been sort of distant these days. Something happened with her family and she doesn't want to talk about it. Anyway, I think I'll just get on the internet and check the venues."
"Alright, sounds good. I'll talk to you later," he hung up and continued to work. Simon walked into his room and laid on Alvin's bed.
"Was that Brittney?" he asked.
"It was, we're planning on going to a show tonight if you want to come."
Simon sat up and sat on the edge of the bed, "I'm going out with Jeanette tonight actually. I haven't seen her recently so it will be nice."
"Where has she been?"
He got up and started to walk out of the room, "I'm not sure," the white rug that lay atop their hardwood floor slid underneath his feet, "she's been really busy lately and I haven't disturbed her as a result," he went into the kitchen and grabbed his laptop and sat back down on Alvin's bed and got onto the internet, "Honestly, she's been rather distant lately and I can't understand why."
Alvin considered all possible outlets of what he could do at this point. Should I tell him? He's obviously going to realize it sooner or later and we can just get it now. I just don't feel right about it; it's not my place to tell.
"It's about time for me to leave, I'll see you later Alvin."
Simon left before Alvin could get another word in edgewise.
"Theodore, did you call the reception hall?" Eleanor and Theodore had been working on their wedding plans for the last couple of days with Dave and Mrs. Miller on the phone. That night, it was only two of them in their apartment.
"I did, their statement is on the table," they were both sitting on the floor in their living room with phone books and magazines sprawled out around them. Eleanor was constantly on the phone making calls to the appropriate people. She tried to get up, but slipped on a magazine and fell backwards. Theodore, who was in the bedroom getting the statement, rushed in to help her up, "Are you alright, Ellie?"
"I'm fine, I'm fine," She helped herself up and straightened her clothes out, "Actually that really hurt." She sat back down immediately after she fell. Theodore grabbed her arm and steadied her back.
"Eleanor, sit down for a while," He sat down with her, still steadying her back.
"You never call me by my full name, you must be really worried."
"Well, of course I am, I thought you were going to pass out."
"I'm fine; I've just felt a little nauseous lately," she stood up and he looked worried but stood up after her.
"Nauseous?"
"Just in the mornings after I get up, but it passes after my first class."
He looked grim, "Just in the mornings? Have you had your period yet this month?"
She shook her head no.
The pharmacy was a short walk from their apartment. The walk was the longest of his life. The warm breezes of the spring flew around him and ruffled his hair about. Passing cars, people walking by, all noise was drowned out as his worry and determination skewed his focus. He walked into the store and headed back to the pharmacist.
"I'll need a pregnancy test, one that's highly accurate and fast if you will. Trust me, money isn't an object."
The streets stood still as Simon waited outside an old theatre. It was the best place to find independent films, so naturally, he and Jeanette made pilgrimage to it often. He had taken Alvin's Daewoo Lanos, and now he was waiting on her. She, who has been tormenting him silently lately, was very late. He called her, no response. He sent her a text. Chagrin, forlorn, emotions he hadn't felt for a while were coming to the surface. He pulled out a cigarette and started to take a drag. It's been a while, he thought, since I've been this distressed.
The time passed slowly, and Simon got more worried. She wasn't responding to him at all, and it was getting later. He tried to get into contact with anyone who would know her whereabouts. Alvin, the only one who answered at the time, couldn't pass him any information.
"Are you sure she was supposed to meet you tonight?"
"Yes. The text is very clear."
"Well, I don't know what to do," Alvin turned to Brittney. They were in transit to a show they had wanted to see for a while. The car was playing Careful by Guster. Simon could hear the song in the phone, "should we tell him?"
"We still haven't been able to get in contact with Brittney yet," she said as she pulled out her phone, "it needs to be addressed but I need to talk to her first."
While Brittney dialed the number Alvin continued to talk to Simon, "What are you up to now?"
"Are you talking to me again or Brittney?"
"How did you know I'm with Brittney?"
"Please Alvin," Simon sighed. He would have imagined that his brother would have realized that he was able to tell that he was talking to someone else, "Who else would you be with right now?"
"That true," Alvin spaced out as Brittney called Jeanette. She didn't answer. Alvin looked over to Brittney in the passenger's seat and the look on her face explained the whole situation, "So, what are you doing?" The music in the background was loud, loud enough for Simon to hear.
"I'm just walking down 62nd street now. Really, I'm not sure where I'm going."
"Are you alright?" Alvin said, the music was blaring, I'll be the one to tell, Careful or you'll hurt yourself.
"Please turn down the music," You're in your head, you're all turned around in it.
"I'm sorry," I'll just lie, lie, lie, they'll adore you, "We'll come and get you, we three can hang out tonight."
Simon continued to walk without answering, all you want to see is make believe it's nothing
but way down underneath, "Yeah that sounds fine, I'll meet you guys on 52nd street." Simon started to cross the street.
"Alright man, that sounds good," Simon didn't answer, "Simon?" He had lowered the phone, but the music was still loud out of his phone. Simon caught the sight of Jeanette standing outside of a restaurant, I'll be the one to tellcareful or you'll hurt yourselfgonna try, try, try, 'till the morning comes.
He was exuberant. All ill feelings he has were lost by the sight of the one he loved. He got across the street and she started to walk away into a nearby parking garage. He ran for her, calling her name but the sounds of the city were overpowering his voice. The cars honked and the people yelled. Music was being played on the street which smelled of fried food. Broken glass was littered everywhere but he continued to run. She had disappeared into the garage and he chased after her, forever calling her name. Alvin hung up his phone but Simon didn't notice. He got to the first floor and saw her on the other side of the garage next to a black car. He slowed down and called her name but she didn't hear him. He saw a man step out of the driver's seat and embrace her. He ran closer and stopped. They kissed and he was frozen. The feeling had left his body as he saw them embrace. He dropped his phone cracking the glass screen. He thought to himself, Broken glass… it sounds like something I know now.
Theodore returned back to their apartment as Eleanor was sitting at the table. She rushed over to him in a frenzy.
"Theodore, did you get the test?"
"I did," he took it out of the bag and she grabbed in away from him.
"Alright, I'll be back," she turned away from him and headed toward the bathroom. He grabbed her from behind and hugged her. His arms wrapped around her didn't offer either of them any sort of solace this time. She turned around and hugged him and they stood their motionless for what seemed like hours. They realized the gravity of the situation and they swayed under the current of what was to come if that test was to be positive, "Theo, how long does it take?"
"A minute for accurate results." She head this and turned back around and started to walk towards the bathroom. He watched as she walked away and turned the corner near their room and the bathroom in their apartment. It was fifty feet and fifty miles away.
He paced outside of the bathroom in wait for her. She wasn't making a single word as she sat inside the bathroom. Eleanor was a complete wreck as she waited for the results, but she refused to show it. Every second that passed was the longest one that ever happened. Neither of them had a watch on them. Theodore could stand to wait away from her and decided to enter the bathroom. She stood over the test that was sitting on the sink and he stood behind her in wait. The sweat dripped off of his face and landed on the counter. Their senses seemed heightened; the sound of the drop of water was loud and booming.
The minute passed but neither of them wanted to look. The agony of not know was not nearly as bad as finding out. Eleanor, without looking grabbed it and put her hand over the screen.
"Theo, you read it."
"Me? It's inside you!"
"It wouldn't have happened if you wouldn't have done this to me!"
"Whoa, it's a two way street here. If you egg wasn't so receptive to me then this wouldn't have happened."
"Now don't go blaming my eggs."
"Oh I will," she flashed it in front of his eyes while he was finishing his sentence.
"Well?"
He sunk to the ground, "You're not pregnant."
She jumped on top of him and he made an audible "ooff" sound, "thank God."
"Indeed," they sat on the floor for a while and didn't talk, she curled up in his arms and they laid in the cold bathroom holding the pregnancy test that held their fates with them. The warmth of their bodies floated them into later into the night. As they drifted off into sleep, Theodore got a call from Alvin.
"Theo, where are you?" Alvin said frantically. There was panic in his voice and he was short of breath.
"Alvin?" Theodore was still groggy from his short nap, "I'm at home with Ellie." She hadn't woken up yet. She laid peacefully in his lap on the floor of the bathroom.
"Can you two get into the city? Simon's gone and he has my car…" Alvin started to speak so quickly that Theodore couldn't understand his frantic words. They fired out of his mouth like bullets, tear at his ears. Eleanor awoke at this point and looked up at Theodore, who started to get worried too. He motioned to her to get up and they both arose. The bathroom floor was freezing.
"Okay, so you can't get a hold of him?"
"We were talking and then he just stopped and it cut off a moment later."
"Where was he when you two were talking?"
"Uh, 52nd street and I can't remember the other crossroad," Alvin was speeding around the city at dangerous speeds trying to get to the location of his brother.
"Why was he on 52nd street? He never goes there unless for a movie or something."
"He was trying to see a movie with Jeanette. We think he saw her in some dire situation," hearing this, Theodore grabbed his jacket and keys and Eleanor did the same. They started to walk out of the apartment.
"That's not good," they both left the apartment complex and ran to his car. He threw the keys to Eleanor, "You know the west side better than I do. Go to that Indie Theatre on 62nd."
Eleanor caught the keys and got in the driver's seat, "What's going on, Teddy?"
"I'll explain on the way there."
The two parties slowly converged on the scene of where he was. Theodore and Eleanor naturally started at the movie theatre and moved their way down the streets, scanning each scene carefully in pursuit of Simon. The steam coming from the streets and the darkness severely hampered their progress; they parked in a garage. Alvin and Brittney split up and were on foot around the city, searching for him.
Eleanor got out of the car and Theodore stayed in to call Alvin one more time. She wandered around the parking garage and soon found her way to the top of the building. It was cold; the height of the building lent itself to a cool cross breeze. She zipped up her jacket and looked around. There were a few cars at this top level but not much else. It was dark; the light of the city didn't illuminate the top of the garage.
"Simon?" she cried out in to the darkness of the night, "are you here?"
She heard a voice out in the distance, "so close to the edge we stand here tonight, are we my dear?"
She walked out into the darkness. She could barely see anything out in front for her, "Is that you?"
"Eleanor, it is me." She walked slowly out towards the edge of the garage and she could see his outline on the other side of the parking garage, "What are you doing here?"
"We're here to get you, "she moved closer to him and she noticed he was sitting on the edge of the parking garage. They were a few stories off as his feet dangled carelessly off of the edge of the building. His scarf flowed in the strong breeze as it faded in and out.
"How did you know where I was?" he stood on the edge of the building.
"We didn't," She was close enough to him to grab him now as he stood facing the city lights.
"Good job then, where are we off to, Eleanor?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, in this life, where are we going?"
"I haven't a clue what you're talking about."
"We wander and meander these mean streets for once glimpse of truth and love and we find nothing but the cold asphalt. Where are we my dear? We are one step away from the edge at all times," he turned about carelessly to face her, "I see that clearly now. We sit on the top of this building and it's the same concept. I take one step backwards and I fall into the abyss. We all sit on the edge on a knife with all of our actions, leading us closer to the eventual end. Why fight it now? Everything's all connected and everything hits at once," Theodore walked up the garage and saw Eleanor and Simon on the edge of the building, "The prodigal son returns."
Theodore could hear them, "What do you mean?" Eleanor responded to him.
"The son that seems to have everything going to him right now. Engaged with the one he loves. He knows nothing of standing on the edge and seeing where it leads."
"We just had a pregnancy scare so I wouldn't be too fast to toss him aside."
Simon looked stunned as he sat back down. Theodore ran up to them, "Simon, are you alright?"
"Are you?"
"What are you talking about?" Theodore retorted as he caught his breath.
"Eleanor told me about what happened today."
Theodore paused and looked over at him, "Yeah, I'm fine now. This too shall pass."
"Will it? Do any of our problems magically resolve themselves?"
Theodore was taken aback by this, "You and I both know they don't. We work and we strive to make things right."
"How do we? How can you explain Alvin and Brittney's situation?" He lit a cigarette, "They try so hard but it's never going to work. I tried to give her everything and she decided to disregard it."
Eleanor looked to Theodore who was looking away for an answer. She then said, "Simon, I'm not going to deny that the world isn't perfect but we still try to achieve perfection."
"A goal that's unattainable."
"It is though, maybe the imperfection is the as perfect as it will get."
Simon took a long drag and exhaled, "I choose to disregard that. The absurdity that is in this world is disorienting."
Theodore looked up, "You sound like Kierkergaard."
"Do I?" he started to walk away, "I'm heading out for the night. I'll see you two on the other side."
Simon eventually made his way back to their apartment but he wasn't the same. The light that once dominated his predisposition was mostly gone. Echoes of his former self were seen when he was in a lab or working on a large research project, but for the most part, he plodded around the house. He drifted back and forth without any passion or determination. He drank coffee and read existentialist works.
Alvin stayed with Simon in his free time. They didn't talk for the first week, in fact, Simon didn't say much to anyone. May approached and Jeanette wasn't heard from aside from a conversation that she and Simon had. He never spoke of it to Alvin or Theodore but they knew for the most part what it was. They knew she had been scheduled to leave that summer for an internship overseas and she probably wanted to break it off before that. She didn't know he already knew what had transpired that night previous.
The summer breezes rolled in and out of the trees as the sunlight played with the newly growing plants. It smelled sweet in the air, sickly sweet. It was a bitter smelling breeze. Simon and Alvin started talking again; mostly about the quickly approaching wedding that was moved to late summer. Simon drifted in and out of existence and Alvin was never as lonely was he was that spring.