So, I don't know if you guys regularly check this kind of thing but recently there was a guest reviewer claiming to by Lyon Smith, the voice actor of Talon. I dont know if it's just a troll or really was the voice actor but I was kind of excited about the thought. I will say that the voice acting is one of the few things done right by the 2015 Inspector Gadget and I really enjoyed Talon's portrayal. I'm writing this one both for my own amusement and as a shout out to Lyon Smith, who may or may not have read only the first chapter (in which I criticize the crap out of the show) and will likely never read this. A very, very miniscule amount of you are going to get the "jokes" that I make in this one so all you normals who don't give a damn about voice acting can go ahead and ignore this chapter.
Title: Sapphire
Word Count: 1031
Genre: Comedy? I don't know. Maybe this is could be considered funny. Slight romance.
Summary: He was tired of being a villain. Maybe he'd start a band instead.
Rating: K+ because I dunno it feels right
Penny frowned at the sight before her. Was this a dream? It had to be. A fever dream was the only way to explain the insanity she saw before her. All around her, four female acquaintances that she remembered from various points in her life were hopping around excitedly and flipping in the air while wearing the strangest outfits she'd seen since she'd watched the teletubbies when she was two. It looked faintly like a school girl's uniform in Japan but it was more sexualized and the blonde's feminist side was pissed off at the short skirts and thigh high boots that left little to the imagination.
The girl that'd worked the cash register at the supermarket Penny went to last week landed in front of the agent. Gently dusting off her orange variation of the outfit, the woman stood proudly as she spoke. "Sailor Penny!" The blonde tried to step backwards but found her foot was somehow hard to balance on. Glancing down, the girl noticed in horror that she was wearing a red variation of the sexist outfit.
"What am I wearing?!" The genius shouted as she tried to pull her puny skirt farther down her legs. "Why are we dressed like this?!"
"Uh, duh," the green variation which was the teen that babysat Penny when she was small came to a stop nearby, "because we're about to fight evil. These our are battle uniforms."
"Bu-wha-?" The agent struggled to find words, "that makes no sense! You can't move at all in these tight clothes and even if you tried you'd just end up flashing your underwear at anyone and everyone nearby!" Suddenly incredibly cheesy sound effects akin to thunder sounded from behind the girls.
"IN THE NAME OF THE MOON!" Shouted one particularly loud girl as she flipped over the group to face whatever enemy approached with the ominous thunder. All the girls but Penny jumped up and landed in some strange pose that reminded the blonde of power rangers. "Sailor Penny!" whined the loud girl in the center, "get in position! You have to pose!"
The HQ agent ignored the apparent leader and turned to regard the opponent. Her blue eyes widened in surprise when she saw Talon, only a little different. He'd dyed his hair blue and drawn an upside down black crescent moon on his forehead with magic marker. His clothes seemed to be loosely based on traditional chinese garments.
"Ta-" The girl genius was interrupted by a shout from the group beside her.
"PRINCE SAPPHIRE!" Just as Penny was about to correct the clothing coordinating clique, her nemesis spoke up.
"Yes, it is I, Prince Sapphire." His voice was a bit more regal than normal. "I've come to destroy Earth in the name of the negamo-" Whatever the henchman was saying was beyond the point as the blonde feared he'd gone insane. Closing the distance between them quickly, the agent quickly punched him in the face hoping that a show of force would bring him back to his senses. The evil genius was silent for a moment before turning to look Penny in the eyes. "You've made an excellent point. I'm quitting being evil."
The blonde's eyebrows furrowed in confusion as she watched him hum in some kind of understanding. "Wha- you're… you're quitting MAD?"
Nodding sagely in a way that made the girl think he didn't understand what it was she was asking in the first place, Talon smiled proudly. "I'm going to start a band."
"What? How- What are you- Why?" Apparently her punching him didn't solve whatever problem had been brewing in his mind. Rather than answer her, the boy whipped out an orange beanie from nowhere and messily secured it over his blue hair.
"I'm thinking I'll sing and play guitar. I'll be the best frontman I can be. The only thing I'm worried about is the lyrics… do you know of any diaries I can steal lyrics from?" Penny was only becoming more and more confused as he seemed to consider something else. "I've got it!" The teen genius announced suddenly as he hit his palm with his fist. "We'll be called Rob and the Hearthrobs!"
Somehow that triggered the girl into responding. "But your name isn't Rob!"
"I know," the ex-villain said as he glanced at her dumbly, "its Sapphire."
"No it isn't!" The blonde didn't know why she was getting so emotional. She was somehow caught up in the flow of her strange surroundings.
"Yes it-" A sudden energy bolt flew out of nowhere and struck Talon. As he collapsed and his life slipped away, the girl genius found words she didn't even mean to say come pouring out of her mouth.
"You're the second freaking person to turn good and then die in the same episode!"
"You're the second freaking person to turn good and then die in the same episode!" She shouted as she violently sat up from her bed. Penny took a deep breath as she observed the dark bedroom around her. It was just an incredibly strange dream. A low groan from beside her caught her attention as she glanced down at her bedmate.
"What- I don't-" his low voice was muffled by the thick comforter pulled over his head. "Same episode?"
The young woman let out a sigh as she glared down at the mass of blankets that concealed her companion. "Talon." Her voice was deadly serious. "Never cook for me again."
His dark hair popped up from underneath the covers as his bedroom eyes shot her a curious glance, "Well sorry," he said while yawning, "I jus' figured since it was a special occasion-"
"No." The blonde repeated sternly. "Never again."
"I understand," he muttered as he slipped back under the comforter. "Next time I propose to you I'll make sure to order chinese takeout instead."
Penny let herself smile in the darkness as her fiance slipped back into slumber land. A quick glance at the sapphire engagement ring that freshly resided on her finger caused the smile to grow into a full blown grin. The only real downside to the current situation was that apparently neither of them could cook.