Woman are so damn confusing.
I stopped what I was doing. I turned the stove off, and turned to face her, Nessie; my angel.
"Ne- Ness?.." It was then when I realized how my throat burned, and how hoarse my voice sounded. She was seriously asking for trouble, and hell as far as I was concerned, she'd get it. I had no idea how I was able to control myself around her lately. I was kinda proud of myself for not pouncing on her, and taking her whenever I felt like it. I guess even I had a sense of control.. and somewhat of a conscience.
"Hm?" She walked towards me, swaying those beautiful curves of hers. I felt my jaw tighten, I clenched my knuckles so hard, I thought the bones were going to pop out of my skin. My eyes were wide and alert, and I felt my breathing hitch, and my heart flutter. It felt like I was on fire, minus my normal temperature, I mean I felt like I was on fire.
I had to lean against the counter so my legs wouldn't give out. My hands managed to untangle themselves from the fists I was clutching at my sides, leaving me to grip my fingers into the counter to keep me still. It took everything in me not to just charge at her, and take her here. Dammit, she knew exactly what she was doing, and she was doing it well.
I groaned when she was now standing in front of me. She was still soak and wet, I watched the small driplets of water trail down her flushed cheek, down the center of her chest. UGH! This was torture. I felt like I was about to.. I don't even know. I found myself biting my lip with such force, I bet the flesh turned white.
Her scent didn't help either. It was so sweet, and sexy. Nessie's plump lips were parted as she spoke.. I wanted to just crush them against my own.
"Jacob.." She stroke my chest so gently, and slowly. My breathing increased, and my grip on the counter did as well. It felt like my fingers were digging into the lithium. I was going crazy. I was shaking too, I don't know what kind of shaking, which was weird. Was I about to phase? Was I really scared shitless? Or was I going crazy?
"Ness.." I tried to sound stern, but it didn't work. As much as I wanted her to stop, I wanted her to keep going..
Her small hand took mine off the counter, and brought it to her cheek. Her hand held mine there as she rested her face in my palm. Her eyes closed and she smiled.
"Mmm.." She hummed behind her smile.
I didn't say anything, I couldn't.. the burning in my throat was choking me. The beautiful girl has her face in my palm, which was probably coated with sweat, all because of her. Only she could do that to me. I decided not to move and just stand still, and let her take advantage of me. By not moving I figured none of this would be my fault.. but that didn't mean I wouldn't feel guilty either.
I had to stop her.. I didn't want to stop her..
I don't know how long we were standing there, but she finally opened her eyes, and glared at me. She pulled away, and gained an inch on me, and I took a step back. I felt my lower back press against the handle, it kinda hurt with me pushing up against it, but I had worse pain to worry about.
"I want you Jacob." She whispered. Her hand dropped mine, and it fell numb against my side. It clenched back into a fist a short second later, she moved forward again, and I stood still; her prisoner.
I shook my head. "I cant Ness.. it's... it's not right.." I croaked.
"Of course its right.. we belong together, Jacob." She whispered. Nessie took yet another step closer to me, and got on her toes as she placed a kiss on my throat.
I shook my head again. She had to stop. Right now. Because we all know when I start something, I intended to finish it. But then again.. she started it.. doesn't mean I wanted her to finish.. not like this.
I intended on marrying her first.
"Touch me Jacob." She grew frustrated. Her voice was thick. Nessie's eyes seemed black almost, full of lust... lust for me.. She moved one last time, her chest pressing against mine.
"No." I whispered. I tried to look somewhere, glare at something.. anything, anything but her. I needed to focus. Little spoiled Nessie. She couldn't always get what she want.. and neither could I. We needed some boundaries.
"Dammit Jacob!" She hissed, she shoved me and I stumbled further back against the counter. I felt my back slam against the counter top, but I just laid back there, staring at her completely shocked. Where did this.. force come from? My sweet little Nessie?.. Little, she wasn't little anymore, that's what the problem was.
Her hands darted to her robe, and the next thing I knew, it fell to the floor. I bit my lip and groaned trying to look away.. but I just couldn't. I laid back against the counter staring at the angel from hell across from me.
She was so damn beautiful, a goddess, I swear. She was so soft and fragile. Her skin was like porcelain, and her delicate flesh was flushed, covered by her long locks of curls. UGH. I wanted her, all of her. I wanted to claim her to be mine. I was in love with her..
Nessie surprised me and took another half step forward, enclosing all space between us. I felt her warmth against my hardness, making me moan unintentionally, by the time I wanted to bite my tongue.. it was too late. She got on her toes, and locked her gaze with mine, her hips slowly buckling against mine. Her dark orbs melted into mine, I practically saw myself in her eyes. I felt her sweet breath linger against my lips, along with her plump red lips; how I wished to crash mine against hers. "Touch me Jacob." She whimpered.
She took my hand in hers, as she guided it to her chest, stroking her delicate flesh under her hair. I felt her shiver to my touch.. even though I felt like I was hotter than the sun itself.
"Nessie.." I choked, and gave an audible gulp. "I don't want to hurt you.." I whispered, I tried to pull my hand away from hers, but she didn't let me.
I growled, and she dropped my hand. She didn't give up though, instead she wrapped her arms around my torso, pulling herself against me, almost melting into me. How much closer could she get?
I felt the bulge in my jeans tighten, I needed to release. I needed a ice cold shower. The pain was so pleasurable yet agonizing.. but I didn't want to stop, I couldn't move. I couldn't do anything. I was numb.
"You would never hurt me Jacob." I felt her breath tickle against my chest. Her face snuggled into her own little nook. The very same nook she claimed when she was just five years old..
"But.. I want to marry you first.." I said. It was my only defense.
Think Jacob!! Think!
"I'm already yours Jacob." She whispered. "Please, make me all yours." She looked up at me and kissed my chin.
"Your too young." I blurted out. Yes! Keep it coming, Jacob! Think you idiot!
"I always will be, remember? No matter what." She smiled, quite impressed with herself. Ugh, smartass. I sighed, and couldn't help but smile down on her, she was always right.
No matter what. Half or whole, she got the perspective of both lives, how lucky was she? I'm sure Blondie would've loved to have something like that.. I heard she was the one who had the hardest time with immortality.
"Besides, I'd feel whole too." She shrugged. I knew that shrug. It was a no-big-deal-but-real-big-deal, kind.
Feel whole? What was that supposed to mean? Then it hit me.
"What do you mean by that?" My eyes widened, and I pulled away from her, causing her to drop back a few steps.
She stumbled back a few steps. ".. Jacob." She said shocked by my sudden outburst. Her eyes were pleading. I defiantly hurt her feelings. Least I was good at something.. hurting people.. animals.. mythical creatures, whatever. Fucking unicorns, okay?
"No seriously Ness." I hissed, I crossed my arms over my chest, to keep from punching something. "What do you mean, Besides, I'd feel whole too?" I growled, narrowing my eyes at her. "What do you want?" I threw my hands up in the air.
Was she serious? She was going to trade the beauty of being different, to be the same as the rest of them? She had a chance at two lives.. just like me.. and she was just going to throw it all away? I thought we'd.. both be whole.. together..
Nessie glared. "I know what I want, I don't think you do." She dropped her gaze to her fingers, which she was playing with nervously.
".. I want what you want." I spoke softly. My arms relaxed and I let them drop back to my sides, digging them in my front pockets. I was cornered now.
"Do you want me, too?" She looked up at me, with small tears in her eyes. I hated it when Nessie cried.. especially when it was because of me.
I dug my hand out of my pocket and reached forward, wanting to wipe the stray tear away, when she jerked away from me. Nessie took one big step back, and glared at me. She folded her arms across her bare chest, perking them just right.
I was in so much pain.
One: Because I've wanted her forever.. and she finally confessed that she loved me in return, and here I was denying her.
Two: She stood before me in all her glory, and all I did was shove her away.
Three: I made her cry.
I sighed and dropped my hand.
"Do you?" She repeated.
I stared at her for a long minute. I studied her heavy breaths, how I heard her; normally racing heart, accelerate. Her chest was wheezing, and she was slightly panting. I did that to her. And how her cheeks were a brilliant red, that she got from Bella.. a beautiful trait. Her eyes were curious, but distant at the same time. I felt myself skip from treading water to straight up sinking. Sinking like a rock, and rocks were supposed to be sturdy. What happened to being sturdy? What happened to showing who's boss?
This all left me with unanswered questions, thousands of them.
Was she going to.. be.. one of them, completely?
Why was she doing this to me? Did she know how much I want her? How much I dreamed about this day? Did she know that I felt like a complete coward? Did she know that, I was about to loose my mind?
"Yes.." I answered my last question, and hers.
"I don't believe you." She sneered looking away. Nessie tried to start covering herself up. Dammit, did I screw up! Look what I was doing to her! I was making her insecure. Covering herself up, was the last thing I wanted her to do.. the very last!
I snatched her wrist from her chest, and growled. "Don't ever say that.. don't ever do that." I glared down at her hand, and she followed my gaze.
"Jacob-" She whispered before I cut her off.
"Renesmee, I love you. I'm in love with you. I love you exactly the way you are. Your the other half of me Nessie.. I don't know what I would do without you. You don't need to change, not for me. I love you exactly the way you are, sweetheart."
Her eyes widened, then relaxed after I spoke. She smiled sweetly then sighed. "Jacob, I don't think you understand what I mean by-"
I quickly cut her off, and scooped her into my arms. I threw her over my shoulder, and stomped towards my bedroom, muttering stubbornly to myself.
I bit back my chuckle.. because once again, we were leaving the food behind on the counter. What was the point of grocery shopping anyway? Especially when you cook food, and you leave it on the counter to go snuggle or... insert activity here with your, girlfriend? Room-mate? See I didn't even know our status.
She was messing with me now. This is what I hated about the Cullen's. They always get what they want. That, and the fact that they are just as stubborn as I was.
"Jacob! What are you doing?!" She squirmed in my arms, and threw weak punches on my back.
My patience was lacking, and the bulge in my pants was only growing, I didn't even listen to her. All I heard was I don't believe you. Those words stung, she was hitting below the belt now.
"I'll show you what to believe, woman." I muttered walking down the hall.
I lost it, I completely lost it.
All for Nessie.. only Nessie.
I kicked open my door. I felt Nessie cringe in my arms, as the door knob smacked against the wall. It probably left a crease or something, like I cared. Wasn't my house, I wasn't paying for it- her family was.
I stumbled towards the bed, until I felt my knees bump against the foot of my bed. "Little monster." I growled. I leaned forward and threw her over my shoulder, she gave a small grin as her bare back bounced against my mattress.
I had a goddess, lying on my bed.. naked.
A damn goddess who loved me.
Jacob-fucking-Black.
My hands rested on either side of her face, and our legs ended up tangled. I felt the bulge in my pants burn against my zipper, and I groaned.
"Make love to me, Jacob." She whispered, stroking my cheek with her small thumb.
"Is that what you want, Renesmee?" I looked down at her lovingly. She was glowing. Her hair was fanned out around her, the necklace she wore hung down the center of her chest, and I bit back the urge to just worship her that second.. but she needed to answer my question first. Her eyes were sparkling, her brown orbs bored into mine. She bit her lip. Oh the way she bit her lip! Kill me now! No- maybe Edward will, later.
Nessie tugged the collar of my shirt and pulled my face against hers. This kiss was different from the others we had.. if they were even considered a kiss compared to this. It seemed endless. The way her lips felt against mine was, I don't even know how to describe it; all I knew was that I wanted more and more. Her tongue traced my bottom lip asking for permission to enter me, and I granted it. Her fingers ran and played through my hair, as our tongues danced together, sending chills down my spine. I took that as a yes.
I was done with teasing, I needed her, now. This second.
She whimpered when I pulled away, straddling her waist, my knees against her sides. I pulled the hem of my shirt over my head and tossed it aside. I crashed back down against her, missing her warmth against mine.
Her lips never left mine as she rolled us over, giving me the glorious view of her body. "Your over dressed." She muttered. Her hands darted to my pants as she unzipped my Levi's.
"Hey- easy now Ness, these are my favorite pair." I chuckled, lifting my hips up in the air, sliding them off.
Nessie growled and threw them against the wall, with a loud clack.
Nessie smiled up at me, after she stole a quick glance at my rather large bulge. Little monster. Man eater. I rolled my eyes and lifted my hips up in the air, allowing her to slowly slide them off. "I like blue on you." She mumbled, throwing my boxers behind her.
I thought I was going to explode when she crawled back onto my chest, laying against me. I felt her wetness press against me. I did that to her, wow. I think my ego skyrocketed at that exact moment, I smirked at her; only to bite my lip when I saw her forehead creased with worry.
"Ness?.. What's wrong?" I stroke her cheek with my thumb.
"Jacob, What did you think I meant by; 'Besides, I'd feel whole too.'?" She drew circles against my pecks. Her fingers were so soft, and somewhat warm against my heated flesh. I almost shivered against the sensation.
"Aren't you going to give it all up?" I whispered. Her hair hung loosely against my chest, as she moved her soft curls tickled me.
"What?" Her face winced with confusion. I waited to see if she'd catch what I was trying to say, but she didn't say anything. I sighed.
"Your going to.. let them.." I gulped, I hated saying this: "bite, you?"
Her eyed widened. "Jacob! How could you think that!" She studied my face to see if I was joking, I wasn't. "Of course not!"
"Huh?" I raised my eyebrows. Woman are so damn confusing.
Nessie sighed heavily, and stopped drawling circles against my skin, which was now covered in goosebumps. She always had that effect on me. Her hand rested on my chest, while her eyes slowly looked up to meet mine.
"Jacob.." Her giggle was barely audible. "What I meant was that.." She stroke my cheek with her thumb. "you make me whole." She smiled sweetly at me.
"Really?" I grinned.
"Really." She blushed.
"I thought?.."
"At first I wanted to.. but then, you happened.." She shrugged. "I wouldn't trade this for the world, Jacob Black." She bit her lip.
For the first time, in.. a while. I'd never felt I'd say this .. again, but I was speechless. She wasn't going to change. She wasn't going to give up her beautiful scent, eyes, blush.. she wasn't giving up anything. I'd get to keep my Nessie.. forever. My sweet, precious, special Renesmee.
"I love you." I tried to ignore the throbbing pain, that could wait.. another ten seconds.
"I love you too." She gave me a chaste kiss.
Ten seconds were up.
I rolled us over, so I was hoovering above her again. I rested my hands on either side of her face, hoisting my weight. I felt my hardness press against her thigh. I placed a kiss against her red cheek and smirked, pulling away; our faces inches away.
"Now.. where were we?" I gave her an Eskimo kiss, and she giggled.