Face Your Demons

Chapter ten – Don't Lose It

Bon had never in his life felt so helpless. To watch someone he cared about – no, someone he loved – getting hurt over and over again was the purest torture. And seeing that someone losing it completely to rage, was something he never had wanted to experience. He was totally lost; he didn't know what to do.

Everything had just went downhill after Kuro had been knocked into a nearby building.

One moment Rin was lying on the ground under a huge hell hound, and the next he was fighting the dogs with his bare hands. Bon wasn't sure if it was the pain that had made Rin snap or had the dog said something that only Rin could hear due to his demon blood. But whatever it was, he surely didn't like the result.

It was like Rin had lost himself to his demon side. He didn't fight like a human anymore; no, like a furious animal he kept jumping around, hitting and kicking the dogs, clawing at them and Bon was sure he even saw Rin biting them once.

And it seemed that the fight wasn't going to end very soon. Surely Rin was plenty strong, but there was no way he was going to beat two hell hounds with his bare hands. Especially with injuries like that!

"Rin snap out of it! Now!" He tried calling the other Exwire, hoping that his words would reach the young half demon. But everything he – or Shiemi or Izumo – shouted fell for deaf ears. "Rin please!"

That was when Kuro finally made his re-appearance after being knocked to the sides. With stumbling steps he appeared on the battlefield and stared at Rin eyes full of horror and worry. A growl let his throat before he leaped towards his master and the hounds. It took only a few strides until he reached the battling demons, and the first thing he did, was to jump between Rin and the demon dogs and using his second tail, throw Rin away from the dogs, straight at Bon and the others.

"Suguro hold him down!" Bon suddenly heard Shura's voice shouting behind him just before the teacher ran past him and went to help Kuro out by sending a series of attacks at the dogs.

Then there were gunshots. No doubt Yukio had arrived too.

Not caring how dangerous it might have been, he rushed to Rin, and before the half demon had time to get up, he dropped to his knees, secured his arms around the bluenette and brought the teen closer to his chest. Rin kept trashing in his hold, growling and trying to claw his arms, but he refused to let go. Warm blood seeped on his hands from the numerous injures on Rin's body as the half demon tried to twist free.

"Rin please, calm down", he whispered and pressed his face on the uninjured side of Rin's neck, rocking the teen gently back and forth. "It's okay, your brother and miss Kirigakure are here. Let them handle this."

"No! Let me go!" Rin growled almost inhumanely, which made the hair on Bon's neck stand up. He almost didn't want to believe it was Rin he was holding. His hands started to shake and he tightened his grasp on the enraged half demon. "I'm gonna burn their asses back to Gehenna! Let go!"

Burn?

To his surprise he could see something blue sparkling around Rin's long-nailed fingers. He didn't know what was going on and he definitely didn't have a good feeling about that. As the sparks seemed to increase, he immediately grasped Rin's hands on his own. Even though he was scared shitless, he couldn't just give up. Not when Rin clearly needed his help.

"Rin, you're hurt and not thinking straight", he muttered rubbing small circles on his friend's hands. He felt the small sparkles licking his fingers, but fortunately they didn't try to attack him. Whatever they were. "Everyone's fine. I'm completely okay, Kuro got only a few scratches... Girls are unhurt. Everything is going to be okay. Just... Please, calm down. I hate to see you like this..."

He felt Rin's trashing subsiding before the teen turned and cast his empty eyes on him. He had to keep himself from gasping when seeing Rin's red pupils and the jagged edges on the irises. Was that Rin's demon side showing?

"They tried to kill you", Rin hissed staring him straight in the eyes.

"But I'm fine now, aren't I?"

His words made Rin to take a good look at him, to make sure he really was okay. He felt shivers running down to his spine as Rin's demonic eyes roamed around his body looking for a slightest bruise or cut, and he constantly had to remind himself that this really was Rin, his goofy friend and in his opinion the best cook on the entire planet. The guy wasn't some bloodthirsty demon, but his demon blooded classmate, who apparently was relying only on his survival instincts at the moment. The teen was badly hurt, so he really couldn't blame him for losing control.

And despite his doubts, he still trusted Rin.

Even if the guy looked like a freaking demon at the moment.

He was snapped out of his thoughts as Rin closed his eyes and took a shuddering breath before relaxing in his arms. The sparkles dancing around Rin's fingers suddenly vanished, and Bon could see Rin's nails shrinking back to their normal size. And when he took a look at Rin's tired eyes, he noted how they were back to their usual black and blue color. No red pupils or sharp edges on the sight.

He saw Rin glancing at the battle going on just as both Yukio and Shura gave their final strikes and sent the demons back to Gehenna. The hosts, two Rottweilers, dropped to the ground once the demons were driven out. They didn't move and he already expected the worst. He only hoped the dogs were already dead when they were possessed.

"So... are you cool now?" he asked licking his lips hesitantly, tearing his eyes from the battlefield and glancing at the blue haired half demon in his arms. Deciding it was safe to lessen his hold, he moved a bit and turned his death grip into a hug.

He felt Rin taking a deep breath and shrugging.

"I-I... I'll be fine... B-but..." the demon-blooded Knight-in-training tried to say, but for some reason the words seemed to be so hard to pronounce. Bon frowned as he felt the half demon starting to shake. "I lost it... A-again... I-I... No... Didn't mean to..."

"Don't worry about it", he said quietly as he realized Rin was close having another breakdown. "It wasn't your fault."

"It was! I was the one who almost lost control and... and..." Rin choked and suddenly grasped Bon's arms with shaking hands like his life depended on it. "I-I can't lose it... I promised that... that I wouldn't... I c-can't... I don't want to hurt you... any of you... I-I..."

"And you didn't", Bon murmured and hugged Rin tighter to his chest, trying to ignore how fast Rin's heart was still beating. "I'm sure you could have broken free any time you wanted. But you didn't. You didn't hurt me or anyone else. We're all good. Please don't blame yourself anymore."

He felt Rin taking another shaky breath and nodding slowly, but for some reason he wasn't entirely convinced. He knew Rin well enough to notice the guilt in Rin's stiff posture, and it really didn't matter how much he tried to tell the half demon otherwise. Rin would be blaming himself for some time.

His musings were interrupted when he noticed Yukio and Shura approaching them, Kuro running several feet ahead of the teachers.

Carefully Bon let go of Rin and took off his jacket. Its sleeves were soaked with Rin's blood, but he really couldn't be picky at a moment like that. Figuring Rin didn't want the others seeing his wounds or tail peeking under his shredded shirt, Bon placed the jacket over Rin's shaking frame.

The half demon muttered a silent thanks and wrapped the cloth tighter around himself.

That's when Kuro reached them and jumped straight onto Rin's lap. Even though he couldn't understand what the cat was saying, he got a feeling that the familiar had been worried sick for his master. Only after Rin had managed to brush Kuro off from his face, Yukio and Shura arrived.

"How are you feeling, Rin?" Yukio asked concerned and knelt beside his older brother, his eyes scanning through the blistering burns on Rin's face.

"'m fine."

"You're everything but fine", Shura huffed holding Rin's sword out for him. "What the hell were you thinking?"

Bon felt Rin stiffening in his arms and tightened his grip a little. Just in case.

"Shura..." Yukio warned, but the female exorcist didn't seem to be listening.

"What? Should I have left them to die?" Rin asked shaking the shock off and replacing it with anger, and Bon was pretty sure there was a frown marring Rin's face. "None of you answered your phone and there was no way those Greenmen could have held those mutts off much longer! Are you seriously telling me that I should have just stood there and watched how they made mincemeat out of Shiemi? What the hell is wro–" the half demon was forced to cut his rant short as a violent coughs started shaking his body and he had to double over.

"Shura, Rin, that's enou–"

"That's not what I meant, brat", Shura said not caring about the obvious death glare she was receiving from Yukio, and whacked Rin on the head with the scabbard. "How many times have we told you to stop using your body as a shield? You weren't given this sword so that you could play baseball with it! Those two hell hounds were high class demons, not something you can just attack with your bare hands! Do you have any idea what would have happened if your little boyfriend here wouldn't have had hold of you? Do you understand what kind of situation you almost got yourself?"

Situation? What are they talking about? Bon found himself wondering as the trio seemed to forget his existence for a moment. Come to think of it... they all seemed to forget the rest of class sanding right behind him and Rin. Careful not to let Rin go, he turned his head and took a glance at their classmates standing a few meters behind them.

Shock, fear and worry was written all over their faces and Bon couldn't help but wince. The half demon really had some explaining to do.

Suddenly he was brought back by Rin's voice.

"I am well aware of my situation, miss Kirigakure. You two don't have to remind me of it all the time", Rin hissed and snatched his sword from Shura's outstretched hand. "I will wield it when I'm ready. That's the end of this discussion. I'm tired, frustrated and in pain. I want to sleep, not listen to your lectures. So if you excuse me –", he spat, shook Bon's arms off and tried to get up.

Tried being the key word.

In the end he managed only to fall flat on his face to the ground, as his legs refused to co-operate.

"Rin!" Bon exclaimed and rushed to his friend who was trying to get to his feet once again. And failing again. "C'mon, you're not well enough to walk on your own. Here, let me help you."

"You are not going to carry me again", Rin hissed trying to stand again.

"And I definitely am not going to leave you here, either", Bon stated shaking his head and catching Rin's falling form once again. "Seriously, Rin... You obviously can't stand on your own and I'm pretty sure you don't want your brother treating your wounds in the middle of the village. Just get over it and climb on my back."

"Hell no–"

"Rin. You either climb on my back willingly or I'll carry you through the town bridal style", Bon said finality in his voice and frowned at Rin. "Your choice."

"I'm fine! I just need to... rest for a few minutes. Go ahead, I'll follow you in a sec."

A frustrated sigh left Bon's lips as he shook his head. How could Rin be so stubborn? Again.

Not caring about the amused stares (despite the worry and fear) they were receiving, he crouched down, wrapped Rin's arms around his neck, grabbed Rin's legs and lifted the young half demon on his back. The blue haired teen let out a loud protest, but he refused to listen to Rin's complains anymore.

"Bon, put me down! I can perfectly walk on my own! Let me down, you cock head!"

Ignoring Rin's whining completely, Bon turned to Yukio, who was looking at them a slight knowing smile on his lips.

"We're taking him back to the inn, right?"

Yukio nodded, while Rin let out a low groan and leaned his face against the crook of Bon's neck.

"You are so going to pay for this."

The Aria-in-training snorted, but said nothing.

And so their short walk back to the inn started, in a heavy silence, Rin noticed. Shura was taking the lead with Izumo and Takara, which left Bon and Rin in the middle and Renzou, Konekomaru, Shiemi and Yukio in the back. No one said a thing, but he could sense the uncertainty filling the air. He was sure he felt eyes on his back, but he was too tired to turn around to make sure. At times he saw Izumo and Shura stealing worried glances at him, too.

No doubt everyone had seen his little relapse earlier. And now they wanted answers. Answers he wasn't sure if he wanted to give yet.

Though Bon and Shiemi already knew about his demon side and it would only be fair to tell the rest of his class too. He just was afraid of their reactions... Bon and Shiemi seemed to be okay with it, but how about the others? Especially after they had seen him losing it like that?

A sigh left his lips as he unconsciously tightened his hold on Bon, who luckily didn't seem to be afraid of him anymore. Who in some level seemed to believe in him. For some reason. And that brought him into thinking about their future (together, if it only was possible) once again.

He had been thinking about Yukio's and Bon's earlier words for the whole day, and even if he wanted to believe them, he still was so afraid. But after seeing how Bon was ready to sacrifice his own life for him by attacking high-class demons like those hell hounds earlier, he wasn't sure what to do. He wondered if Bon's "love" was strong enough to overcome his hatred towards Satan or would the faux hawked teen want him out of his life? Could he take the risk?

He closed his eyes and inhaled Bon's sweet scent. Could he really give that up?

But if he told Bon the truth, maybe the guy would stop being so reckless and let him handle the demons. If the guy hated him, he would surely not come to his aid, right? That way he wouldn't need to worry about Bon getting hurt all the time. But could he stand the heartbreak without losing it completely?

What the hell am I supposed to do?

He almost jumped when he felt a warm hand squeezing his leg.

"Hey, what are you thinking about?" Bon's deep voice broke the silence surrounding them.

Rin shrugged, and winced as the wounds on his shoulders made themselves known.

"Just things... Life and it's unfairness... How I am so unfair to you", he murmured so quietly that the others couldn't hear him and buried his face deeper in Bon's neck. "I'm so sorry about the morning."

"Don't worry about it. After all, it was partly my fault too... I shouldn't have pressed you so much", Bon answered matching his voice to Rin's and patting the leg he was holding gently, completely unaware of the shivers that his touch sent to Rin's body. "Though I hope you realize, you can't keep things hidden forever." Rin sighed. "I know you feel you're not ready to tell me or anyone and I can respect your decision. But... it hurts a little that you think I could hate you because of this your so-called secret. That you have doomed 'us' before we even try it out. It's kinda frustrating not to know what's going on in that head of yours."

"I'm sorry", was all Rin could whisper. He really didn't know how to answer and what to say. It was pathetic, he mused. There Bon was pouring his heart out once again and he couldn't even respond correctly. His heart clenched at Bon's words and he knew he was really hurting the person he loved the most. And why? Because he was a coward. Because he'd rather have spent his last months denying his love for the other Exwire than taking the risk and losing even his friendship. But at the same time he would also lose the chance to be with the one he loves.

A frustrated groan emitted from his throat as he heard Bon sighing. Deeply.

This was going nowhere. His thoughts were circling around his head, and he really couldn't think of a solution. Was this how he was going to spend his last months? Doubting and cursing himself?

Who the heck had decided to make his life so difficult?

Fighting the urge to curse loudly he withdrew his head from Bon's neck, turned it to face the forest in their right and leaned it to Bon's shoulder. A gentle breeze was waving the leaves and the trees, birds were singing and the sun was shining. The day was a complete opposite for his depressed mood.

And suddenly he felt shiver going up to his spine. He could almost feel the eyes boring in him. Someone was watching him, and that someone wasn't from his class.

Then he felt the all familiar feeling inside of him. The feeling of malevolent energy radiating from someone close by. He smelt the rotting blood. The demon blood. The stench was so strong that he had to crunch his nose. There was a demon. Very powerful one, not as strong as Amaimon, for example, but definitely stronger than those hounds combined. And it was watching them – him.

He rose his head to take a look around them. He knew the demon wasn't very close, but you can't never be sure. Following his senses his eyes trained on a lonely, humane figure standing in the shadows of the treeline. At the moment his eyes met it, it flashed him a wide grin showing its sharp teeth, waved its hand and... disappeared. From both his vision and senses. It was like the demon was never here, but Rin knew better. Traces of the smell lingered still in his nostrils and the shivers had yet stopped.

So there was a malevolent demon running around the village, he was too injured to fight for a while and he definitely didn't want to reveal himself to his classmates just yet? Great. Absolutely wonderful.

He groaned and hid his head in the crook of Bon's neck again.

His day had just gotten worse.

Chapter eleven - Questions, But How About The Answers?: Rin's sudden relapse rose many unanswered questions, and now almost everyone is confused as hell. And how will Rin survive another night with Bon, who's determined to figure Rin's secret out and set things straight?

Damn it's good to be back ;3;

I'm not entirely happy with this chapter, but whatever. And I FINALLY got rid of those dogs (well... actually Yukio and Shura did). The whole fight was supposed to fit in one or two chapters, but noooooooooo. I just had to write and write and write... Bleh. The truth to be told, I had to play some time so the rest of the gang would have been enough time to arrive. In a realistic way. I just can't make Renzou and Koneko to run to the inn and to the cemetery in a few minutes, can I? (I hate time skips, btw) :D

Hopefully not too many of you was expecting the revelation to happen during the fight against the hell hounds. Sorry, but that would be a little to similar to the revelation in the manga, and that's something I don't want to do. But we're definitely getting there and it may happen sooner than you're expecting. ;)

Come to think of it, do you want to see the other characters more, or do I keep focusing on Rin and Bon? There's a few things I think I need to write, but since they practically have nothing to do with the plot, I'm not sure where to put them. Or then I'll make a few oneshots or drabbles. Who knows.

Btw, I got a new laptop (Gosh this Windows 8 is weeeeeeeeeird), so I might have more time to write. But at the same time I'm working, so I won't make any promises. And sorry about possible typos and missing letters... I'm not completely used to this keyboard yet :P

Thank you for amazing amount of views, favouriting and following. I'm so sorry I haven't had time to answer your reviews, but I want you to know that every single of them have been read and are highly appreciated. Thank you for your continued support. Love ya all ^^

I probably won't go back to weekly updates, but at least I'll try to update before the end of the month. So, see you (hopefully) soon!