Out of Sight
Sara's diary
Kosh showed up late last night. Gave the night shift a heart attack from what I'm hearing this morning. Of course why he's hear isn't apparent not yet. Something is wrong, I can feel that. Something must have happened, and I think last night. I had this creepiest dream that something happened to Jack. That's not that unusual when he's away with SG-1 on a long mission. A diplomatic one this time to P3R-118.
Jack had to laugh at that, SG-1 diplomatic? It brings a smile to my face just remembering him telling me about that one.
"It's not that unusual if you think about it Jack," I know he knew this, yet I think he just wanted to hear me say it out loud, "SG-1 is the flagship team and all. We both know SG-9 is the diplomatic team, but the powers-that-be want to put the best foot forward and that means SG-1." I couldn't help the mishief impulse, "Sadly I guess that means you too Jack."
"Moi?" I found myself chuckling already as he starts up, "I'm the picture of diplomacy. I'm all for join us or die approach. Isn't that the way things work out there?" We shared a good laugh before my hero had to head out to hopefully get us another ally.
It was still night on P3R-118 when the call came through. Apparently SG-1 went out to explore a glacier and was lost or something. Search parties were looking for them, but their big shot, Administrator Calder doesn't have much hope.
Well we have.
Jack and SG-1 have been through too much for anyone here to expect them to simply have been lost to the elements, and for that matter why would Sam have them go out there without the right equipment? I mean if there was something uber important, maybe. Its that maybe that has a lot of holding off judgment about what really going on, but I for one smell a lie.
Lunch time rolled around and still no progress from Calder's people so General Hammond is sending in a team to go look for them. One -properly- equipped for a search and rescue. SG-2 and 6 will be going in to look. George wants to send a gate glider through for an aerial search but Calder says there aren't any large exits to the outside from the dome city they have. Not one large enough for the glider.
They're shipping AMEE down from Moonbase Alpha in a couple of hours. Major Griff is leading the two teams to where SG-1 is claimed to have gone. I feel better about this now that Robby will also be going. Save for K-9, Robby's got the best sensors we know about, human or alien. Well maybe short of the Asgard, but you never know with Robby.
"They're going to send K-9 along too," Claire said when we finally set down at lunch, "The only reason why they hadn't considered him at first is he's not really made for uneven ground, much less mountainous or glacial. But Silar suggested using a FRED so now he's going."
"K-9 has the sensors, and add in Robby and AMEE ... well they'll find SG-1," in hindsight I think I was talking more to myself than either Claire or Janet.
"Ghranth is going too," Janet threw in wanting to cheer us up somehow. Her cheer rang a bit forced, and I can tell despite the attempt to cheer, she was in a grumpy mood that had little to do with exhaustion from helping SG-6 prepare to go out onto a glacier nor with the big G going.
While it is true the Mondoshawan are helpful allies, they are not very useful in a fight. Fortunately, hopefully, a fight is the last thing that is going to happen during the search. I'm not sure why Janet is grumpy. On second thought, I have no idea what is troubling her. Whatever it was I don't think it had anything to do with what's going on here. Maybe some trouble with Cassie or Roger?
"I don't like it that Kosh arrives to study Sha're like some specimen," Janet finally let out what was bothering her. I admit I didn't like it either, but the fact he showed up and with all that Ina'kalesh business means whatever happend SG-1 is definitely alive and that means to me Jack is alive. Still this was a better reason to be grumpy than say something wrong on the familial or dating front. Claire seem to sag a little as if Janet spoke what was on her mind, but didn't feel right to say out loud herself.
"It does give General Hammond more of a leverage to talk to Calder. He's claiming nothing could survive out there and we have more than SG-1's surviving the odds, we have that Ina'kalesh thing between Sha're and Daniel. It's nothing proven in any court of law, but we know and that's enough, right?"
"Right," I threw in when it was apparent Janet wasn't going to reply. We ate in silence for a bit and then Claire got up.
"I'm going to take Sha're something to eat."
"We'll check in later, Claire," as I suspect if Sha're isn't coming out of her room, neither will her mother-in-law. I'll look in on them later.
Later turned out closer to night and far from noon. The report Major Griff gave to General Hammond was bad. I don't think I was able to work at all after George called me into his office to tell me the news. Now I was to go and tell Claire and Sha're. Not something I was looking forward to either.
I shouldn't have been taken back by the guards outside Sha're's room. They weren't for her after all, but our guest, Kosh. Though in away I suppose they were for her in case something happened. Not that Kosh has given us any reason to expect anything bad or he wouldn't have been left alone with Sha're in the first place.
This wasn't the longest Kosh remained, but the days were adding up. Of course I was aware of that for a completely different reason with Jack gone. It was one thing when I knew he was just off on a diplomatic mission. I could go home and just miss him at the table for a meal, on the sofa watching whatever nonesense was on, or in bed beside me.
Now knowing he was in trouble, I didn't want to go home. Claire was the one who suggested we introduce to Sha're the 'ancient' custom of a sleep over. This time her place on base. I did have to go home for that, but it was a momentary toss nightwear into a bag sort of thing. Grab some DVDs, stop off at Claire's, use her key, follow her directions and then head back to base.
It was hard ignoring Kosh was we tried to act as normal as one might at a proper sleep over, one I hadn't have in years. Which of course I'm not saying in this diary.
But Kosh wasn't leaving, and Sha're wouldn't hear about sending him away.
I'm guessing Claire the anthropologist came out to promptly ignore Kosh. She was also in teacher mode, something she's been for the last twenty or so years and 'letting' Kosh watch was like she was demonstrating for both him and Sha're.
She had it mostly right. Although my contribution of painting toe nails was hard at first. Claire seem to ignore Kosh just fine, but I was a little self-conscious at first.
The next night was more relaxed, and by the third it was more a routine to sleep in the same room. Kosh had long since been regulated to part of the furniture status, although not so much that either Claire or I changed in front of him.
Sha're nor Claire thought a thing about the three of us sharing a bed, but I know if Jack heard about this the jokes and innuendoes wouldn't stop for weeks. Of course that means he'd be back and it would be alright.
Well, almost.
Major Griff was due back today. After days of searching they turned up nothing and in away that's a relief. I didn't want them to find bodies, but that means they are somewhere Calder doesn't want us to know about. Not that its an original thought, I think General Hammond has that one too, in fact just about everyone one base has that thought.
Its one Major Griff prety much confirms as he and the SG teams return fom P3R-118. I wasn't on hand when they first returned, but he made it a point to sit me down and explain.
"Off the record, Mrs. O'Neill, I don't think SG-1 was ever up on that glacier. Robby, K-9 and AMEE all state that we were likely the first human beings up there in several years. Whatever is really happening, Administrator Calder is lying about it." I felt warmer hearing the partly good news from Griff, but it also means Jack's in trouble and being held and hidden away somewhere.
Griff seem to read my mind as he rose up and patted my hand, "Don't worry, Mrs. O'Neill. General Hammond has asked me to draw up a plan to go get them. and I have a few out of the box ideas on how to do just that. Working with the three bots and the big G has given me things to think about. Now I should go and let Mrs. Jackson know. I'm sure she'll be relieved to hear Dr. Jackson was never out there."
I remember nodding, and possibly giving Major Griff a smile as he left. That was also before I found out I was going to be part of his thinking out side of the box. Well, I'm sure he didn't mean to put me to work, but in a way I was glad to be doing something active.
Even this.
"Mrs. O'Neill I know you're going through a lot, but I need to know if I can count on you later today," George had said to me this morning. I keep going over the words in my head as I wait for the arrival of our latest alien guest.
"Fidgeting with that thing won't make it fit any better," Claire whispered as we waited at the base of the ramp. She wore a visor like I did, like the guards around me and presumably General Hammond would when he walked into the gateroom.
"I understand Linea is working on a drug or drops that will let us see them," Janet added from the other side of me as again I adjust the large visor I wore. It was small talk, whether to calm which one of us I wasn't sure.
In my own mind I practiced one more time the name of the Re'tu coming in response to Major Griff's plan.
Chakehalaote ... Chakehalaote ... Chakehalaote, I don't know where the Re'tu get their naming conventions, but from what Maureen sends back from her team on their world, its a human equivalent, the closest we could get to their actual names.
Now Maureen is one of those not bothered by the sight of a Re'tu, and if this helps get Jack back, I can't be either. I won't be.
"Mrs. O'Neill!" Charlene squealed as the teenager walked through the event horizon, saw me and ran down the ramp into my arms. "Sara!" came her brother's shout as he joined us at the ramp. It was good to see Charlie and Charlene again, and an unexpected surprise.
Then the Re'tu came.
I suppose I get it that both these human appearing kids feel they are Re'tu as well. Fast grown by them, I guess they are Re'tu. If we do something like that on Earth, we'd considered them Earthlings wouldn't we?
His, and I was told this is a him, eyestalks took in the gateroom in what I believe is a Re'tu way of gawking.
"Greetings, greetings," chirped from his translator box worn over his... neck ,and he extended a ... hand.
"I believe this is the manner of your people's way of saying hello. I am Chakehalaote. I suppose you would say Dr. Chakehalaote, but you may call me Chake. I understand that's easier on the human tongue."
General Hammond was now in the Gateroom, "Welcome Dr. Chakehalaote, and thank you for coming." From the way George spoke the name, he -had- to have been practicing.
"I just wish that one of the more aggressive members of my species was available for this, or up to spending time away from home," Chake, as I find myself thinking of, said and I recalled the briefing I received about him. In away he was like the Re'tu version of our Daniel or Josiah. He's here to study us.
While that is disturbing on some levels, a bit of hoisted on our petard on others, this also meant he as willing to go and look for SG-1 among the people of P3R-118.
Drey'auc's day
I know him and I know her. Not their names, but I feel we have more in common than the bandages we wear from that accident the three of us were caught in. He said the strangest things the other night. That he knew three other people as other names, that he knew me. When he said that strange name 'Drey'auc' it touched something within me. Made me want to remember and yet there is nothing more than a feeling something more in common than with the other ones who have a wound like my own and whose bandages must not be removed.
I know his name is Tor, yet that does not feel right. What does is the name he yelled, the one that shouldn't make any sense yet feels right. The name of Teal'c.
Yet he comes back firmly with the name of Tor and when I or any of the others he addressed ask him about what he said, he denies it. Although he keeps looking at me and the woman I have known as Shan.
"What is it Tor?" I finally ask, hoping he'd speak more about that name he called himself, Teal'c. Hearing it stirs such feelings inside me that are close and wonderful and I want to know more about.
"I wish I knew Dray. We shared the same accident, and have similar injuries, yet I cannot remember what happened and why the three of us were struck approximately in the same place."
"It is a mystery," my reply was more to hopefully get him to talk more. I found I loved hearing his deep rich voice and did not want him to move off to his section again. "I mean surely we know each other more than having been in the same accident."
"Not necessarily Dray. We might have just been passing in the same area, or assigned that area for that work period."
"I wonder what happened to us?" I ask hoping maybe he remembers, but really just to keep him talking.
"I have heard it is not unusual to not remember the details of a severe accident Dray."
It was time to go back to work and Tor's words left me with much to think about.
I didn't see him much as the days went by, but I thought about him often, and not just the words he spoke to me. From the times I passed by Shan, I believed she was thinking about him as well. Oddly I was not jealous, not like Kegan appears to be regarding Thera over Carlin. That was an ugly situation that felt unnecessary.
Even to my eye Carlin has no interest with Thera, nor she him. Her fears appear so unwarrented. They even felt offensive on some level and unlike Thera I did not feel as if she should just stand there and take it.
I don't know why I was on my way to 'explain' things to Kegan to leave Thera alone. It felt as if I made a promise to someone important to me and Carlin, that I would look out for him. Maybe she, and it did feel as if this was a she I made a promise to, maybe she died in the accient Tor, Shan and I were injured. I should ask Carlin. Maybe Tor was right and we did know each other.
What I saw up on the walkway to Brenna's office made me stop and shake with fear. What was worse was no-one else seem to see the thing walking behind her out of her office. She was calm as it scuddled around, its eyestalks swiveling one way and then the other. One looked my way and stopped and I felt as if I were looking back into that inhuman eye.
I do not know what stilled my tongue. I should be screaming or rushing up to attack it. Yet I didn't. Perhaps I was night sick and knew it. I did not want to be night sick, not like Tor was a week ago. What gave me courage was when I noticed the eye stalk moving to the left of me and stopping again. I looked and saw that Shan could see the thing too. However no one else could and that worried me.
It left and it was then that maybe I did realize I was night sick. I felt weak, woozy and as I approached Shan, she did me. It was not heard of for two to be night sick at the same time and yet we found ourselves holding each other up at first. Then others came over as we fell against each other, then to the ground. I barely heard a whistle, an alarm of something happening elsewhere.
I would not know until later that Tor had collasped moments after Shan and I did, causing some emergency that it took Carlin and Jonah to take care of.
When next I wake, the three of us are laying down on cots, Brenna is there and talking to Tor who is trying to get up. I am surprised that someone so powerful looking as Tor could be stopped by just a gentle hand on his shoulder. He must be very ill indeed and I find I want to care for him even as something in me screams this is wrong.
"I want you to rest! You'll stay here until you're well enough to work," she turns to Shan and I, "All of you. Stay here until you're well enough to work."
She had left, they all had left, leaving us alone laying there.
"Tor, Shan, did you see the creature too?" I had to ask, I did not wish it to be night sickness.
"I did," Tor replied astonished, "I ignored it as I did not wish to be night sick."
"I saw it too," Shan said, "Why only us?"
"I do not know. I do not..." it was getting harder to think again, to speak, "We should rest." And we did.
How much time passed was hard to say again. I woke up sweating and feeling very ill. I could hear Brenna near Tor, and a someone I recall tending to me, a healer of some kind.
"...his condition's getting worse. Here let me check his wound," he was saying, but was inexplicably stopped by Brenna. "Under no circumstances are you to remove those bandages…just make sure they continue to eat and drink."
Puzzled, I begin to drift off and miss that Tor started to take off his bandages after the others left. "Kel-no-reem..." I hear him say and it means something to me. He repeats, "Kel-no-reem." This time it was a command, not quest for the word and somehow I knew how to follow my Tor, my Teal'c to save our lives.
Sha're's story
Dan'yel is alive I know it, I feel it. The fact Kosh is here helps convince the others, not that anyone wants to give up on Dan'yel or any of SG-1. They want to believe me, and have done what Janet calls humoring me, yet when Kosh arrived it seem to mean more to them. I should be hurt, but really I am relieved. There was a small part of me wondering if I was just as Dan'yel would say wishful thinking.
"How did you know?" I finally have the courage to ask Kosh as he stood there with me in our room, Dan'yel's and mine not the room given to him to stay. Yet that courage was for nought as he did not reply, and I knew I could not force a reply out of him.
We stayed there while the others went to search for my Dan'yel and the others. I don't really know why I felt as if I should stay and clutch the picture of Dan'yel to my chest. For a while I just sat on our bed and rocked as I held his image to me. I remember Claire coming in at one time and giving Kosh a disapproving look. She had set a tray of food down on the nightstand and tried to coax me to eat.
I was not so good to my mother-in-law as Dan'yel would put it as I could be, as I should have been. I just didn't want to leave. It was important that I stayed. More important that I sleep now.
"Okay honey, but if you need anything, just let me know. You go ahead and rest," good mother helped me under the covers and then glanced at Kosh again, "Shouldn't you be leaving?"
Kosh said nothing and stayed, and as I feel asleep, I realized good mother was staying also.
I dreamed and in some dreams Dan'yel was with me. In others his face was there but not his name. His name was Carlin. He kept speaking to a strange woman whom I never saw before called Kegan. I think, I think she wanted to take my Dan'yel away, to be this Carlin.
I don't want him to be Carlin, I want him to be Dan'yel.
"Dan'yel!" I shout as I wake sitting up. Good mother is at my side in a moment.
"Sha're, honey, shhh...shh....it's okay. Daniel is not back yet, but he will be."
"We've got to go there," I just knew we did. This Kegan was trying to take my Dan'yel away I knew it and said it, seeing good mother not believe me the moment the words left my lips.
"It's just a dream Sha're, it's not real," then I saw doubt in good mother's eyes and she looked over at Kosh, "Is it?"
Kosh said nothing, which I found an answer in itself. "It is no dream good mother, not completely," I felt confident enough to say that with Kosh's silence. "Maybe it is like a vision? Something with meanings but nothing so direct?"
I could see I wasn't going to convince her. She has seen so much here among her people, and yet there were things she couldn't find herself believing, not yet. I think it is because she did not want to hope to have it be in vain.
I did not leave our room, good mother brought in food, often stayed for company. I think because she needed me as much as I did her with our Dan'yel gone. Kosh remained as well, many times as still as the furniture and yet he also was a comfort. He reminded me I wasn't dreaming, that somewhere out there my Dan'yel is alive.
Sara showed up with all sorts of bags and it looked as if she were moving in. I looked to her and good mother puzzled of course until good mother spoke up. "Sha're this is what we call a sleep over," she said and then turned to Kosh, "Ladies only." Yet Kosh only looked back and said nothing.
"Well never mind him," good mother went on, and proceeded to explain what a sleep over among the Tau'ri is all about. It meant they were going to stay over night with me! I wouldn't be alone, well with Kosh. It was like home. At home one is never alone like one is among the Tau'ri. When you are unmarried you stayed with your family, when married you went with your husband to start a new family. Our husbands rarely left like the do among the Tau'ri.
"Don't you have to ... go somewhere?" Sara asked Kosh one last time and when silence was her answer she gave up.
This sleep over was not just sleeping in the same room with me. There were all sorts of rituals attached to it. Out of all of them was the polishing of the nails. I had seen cosmetics of course, use some myself once Sara taught me how Tau'ri women use them. Amonet used them but in a different manner and I have no wish to emulate her.
What surprised me the most is when both good mother and Sara slept in the same bed with me. Tau'ri seem so separate and standoffish, they did not touch as often as we would back home. In away it must be like home where there were many things our women did just not in the view of the men.
I have much to learn and as the days came and went without my Dan'yel, both good mother and Sara returned to stay with me.
"...and so I am planning for a way to go and look for him, Mrs. Jackson," Major Griff finished as he stopped by to visit. So many had during the days since Dan'yel was officially missing. I should go out, see others, see Sara instead of her coming to visit me. I should go to Dan'yel's office, be there as I think good mother does when she's not working.
It was there that I jumped when Chakehalaote spoke up. I knew he was here to help find my Dan'yel, and saw him off with the others, I did not know he returned until this one heart stopping moment.
"He is alive and relatively well," Chakehalaote said from the seemingly 'thin air' that I have heard the Tau'ri speak of, "All are well. They don't remember who they once were, but it is not permanent. I heard the people of that city speak. The leader and his assistant believe it might be wearing off. I think what should be done, should be done quickly or soon."
Sara nor Claire seem surprised I was going with the rescue party. Chakehalaote will lead SG-2, 3, and 6 through the gate, with Robby and AMEE going first.
"I am surprised they're letting you go ma'am," came the polite Marine Second Lieutenant standing next to me. I hold up my hand of the gods and let it glow once.
"Oh, that would do it," he said as he gave a sheepish smile. I am sure Aiden Ford meant well as a new member of SG-3. He must have seen me looking at Major Griff in concern. I should not have caused him to believe I doubted him. He did well to send Chakehalaote to search for my husband.
I just miss Major Coburn and know what he must be going through as host for Camulus. Even with Robby, they could not rescue him, and Will feels so bad about losing him to the Goa'uld. We will get him back, we will find a way. Just like Major Griff did to locate my Dan'yel and like Dan'yel did to find and rescue me.
What little resistence at P3R-118 was removed by the time we entered through the Chappa'ai. AMEE was first through and we found two bodies, alive I find as I check them, my Ka'kesh'prim'ta ready to heal if need be. The need came later as Chakehalaote took the lead leaving SG-2 to guard the Chappa'ai.
We caught up with Calder and his guards right after a shot rang out. By the time we arrived a woman was down and bleeding, obviously the one shot. Dan'yel and I lock gazes and then I knew he remembered me, we didn't do much else until after I did what I could for this Brenna.
It had not surprised me that Calder's guards had been taken out by Teal'c and Drey'uac, the surprise came when I heard shot later and then the sound of falling glass. Hurrying with my Dan'yel we catch up to Jack, pistol still in hand as a multitude down in a factory look up at a shattered skylight and appear amazed by what they see of the city above.
I am sure Dan'yel will explain it all to me later. For now I'm just glad he is not out of my sight any longer.
Sara's summary
I didn't want to let the big lug go when he came back through the gate. I suppose after all the times he's gone missing I should use to this, but we both know I'll never get 'use' to this part of the SGC.
I -think- we got off a kiss before a crowd of people came walking through the gate, and Griff was herding them towards the infirmary and several of the larger spaces down here in the mountain. Over the years the SGC has been the temporary home to more than a few refugees and had prudently set aside spaces for unexpected guest that came in the many.
"You're serious? Your name really was Carlin?" I hear Claire say to her son as we sat exhausted around several tables in the commissary later on. "Oh Sha're I am so sorry. You were right."
I didn't want to say anything now, since I didn't actually say anything before, but I had silently agreed with Claire. I did have just enough doubt due to both Kosh being around and SGC weirdness factor to keep my mouth shut, yet up until now I thought Sha're was only dreaming. It was kinda of embarrassing really. After all the weirdness I've seen around the SGC, I should be quick to accept the weird, slow to accept a 'rational' explanation for things. With the SGC the rational reason is likely the wrong approach to take.
"So where is old Gandalf?" Jack asked more to break up the awkward moment.
"He left right after the rescue team did," was my assist to my husband's efforts, everyone knowing that he was talking about Kosh.
"So Teal'c, Drey'auc, why were you two over the guards before our trained AMEE could reach you?" I asked to further distance us from the awkwardness and listened to them explain how once their bandages were off they knew they were different and then it was a matter of one deep and long Kel-no-reem session for our Jaffa friends to regain their memories and be healed.
That's how -I- understood it at least.
I was not alone jumping when Chake spoke up suddenly. Those not in my company were Jack, the Jaffa and Daniel, the latter was just too tired or focused on his wife to notice the origin of the voice speaking didn't have a visible body to go along with it.
"You have received the Linea treatment for your symbiotes?" Chake asked our Jaffa friends, "I noticed you could see me back at P3R-118."
I understand he's going to be staying on as part of the SGC. It is really going to take time for me to get use to someone so out of sight as Chake is going to be.