Not Much Between Despair And Ecstasy Ch. 10 You Helped Me See

Author's note: standard disclaimers apply; I don't own DBZ, the Mirai timeline, etc. I'm just borrowing them. All I do own is Zandre and every twist and turn I'd made. Anyway, on to the story…

"Bulma, can we talk?" Zandre asked as she walked into the makeshift lab.

"Sure, give me a sec," Bulma replied, rolling out from underneath a spider-like vehicle, "What's your problem Zandre?"

"I was wondering if you could help me, if you have some machine that could help," she replied, walking around to join Bulma on the other side.

"What do you mean Zandre? And what the hell happened to you?" Bulma replied, joining her, shocked at the white toga-like dress and large stomach Zandre was wearing.

She smiled a little as she moved the left side, revealing little brother wrapped tightly to her stomach, "I knew I'd be spending most of the day here. He should be hatching today and I'm supposed to stay with him continually so I rigged this up. I just wonder what Gohan will..." Zandre stopped, going to one of the chairs in the room, slowly sitting.

"What is it Zandre? Is that why you're asking for help? Is it Gohan or the baby?" Bulma asked, concerned.

"It's the baby...but it's not what you're thinking, ChiChi's already telling horror stories of birthing part Saiyajin children. It's something else," she paused, her hands absently rubbing her 'stomach', "You know my ability can be used to see inside a person. Well I was wondering if you've got something that could do that for me."

"Why Zandre, is there something wrong?" Bulma asked, putting a concerned hand on her shoulder.

"No, it's not that. The night I told Gohan, you know I let him feel the baby's ki, right? Well, since that night I keep feeling something different, and since my ability only works for me when I'm asleep I can't figure out for sure," Zandre rattled out, trying not to look at her.

It was quiet a while before Bulma responded, "You don't mean..."

"I'm not sure, but I think there is two. I want to be sure before I tell him, so please don't. So do you have something that will work?" she said, turning to her.

"Yes, it's not in here, it's in the infirmary. But Zandre, you two haven't even talked about when they were conceived yet."

"I know Bulma I know. He's realized it though, I can tell by how he treats me. Showing up looking like this will definitely put it in his mind. I want to talk to him about it before we take off the casts. I'm just nervous about his reaction, especially if we are having two," Zandre replied, trying to stand.

Bulma reached out, helping her up, "Knowing Gohan, he's probably more worried about you and the babies than his own feelings."

"You're probably right, but he's got so much to worry about, I don't want to give him more," Zandre replied, her shoulders falling.

Bulma's hands went to Zandre's shoulders; "You've given Gohan a renewed strength, a reason to keep fighting no matter what, to not give up. Any addition to that will only help him. Go to him Zandre, tell him everything."

She smiled at her friend, "You're right Bulma," Zandre steeled herself as they headed for the infirmary, "What is that you're working on? Is it the time machine?"

"Yeah, it should be ready tomorrow, if you guys are," Bulma replied as they came to the door.

They found it sitting wide open, hearing Trunks' voice coming out, "I don't know how she did it Gohan, but she sent her power through me and that's why it was so big. It was mine and Zandre's."

Both women got an evil grin on their faces before Bulma took Zandre's arm, Zandre placing her other hand at the small of her back, letting Bulma lead her into the room. Zandre didn't look up until they got to the foot of the bed, only to see both jaws hanging, eyes wide in shock. She tried to keep a serious face as Bulma started in, "Gohan, what have you done to this poor girl? Yesterday she wasn't even showing and now I'm surprised she's not in labor! If this is what happens when you two have children she's gonna..." Bulma stopped, trying not the laugh, it looking like she was so upset.

"I...uh...Bulma, Zandre I had no idea this would..." Gohan started, trying to get up, amazed and confused.

They finally gave into their laughter. "No Gohan, don't. It's not what you think. She's just playing with you," Zandre replied through her laughter.

"What do you mean?"

She flung off the part covering her front, revealing a snug little brother. Gohan sighed in relief as Trunks joined his mother in the laughter.

"Why did you bring him along?" Gohan asked confused.

"He should be hatching today and I'm supposed to maintain a constant presence with him, so I rigged this up. Besides, I thought I could use some practice," she said, trying to sit in the chair next to the bed.

Trunks and Bulma both hopped up; he helped Zandre into the chair, she tried to keep Gohan in the bed. "Come on Trunks. They need to be alone." Bulma said, pulling her son out, shutting the door behind them.

Zandre couldn't look at him, staring at her hands placed on little brother, she started, "Gohan, we need to talk about the baby and when..."

They sat in silence for a while, his hand slowly joined hers, "Zandre, I realized...it had to be that night...after I lost my arm...when you made me realize all I was doing was maintaining the pain and anger...by pushing you away, keeping to myself, letting everyone else do what I didn't need... what I couldn't do. I know that first... was to show you still love me, you don't care. And I realize now it was the same for me. You gave me hope that night Zandre. Not just hope that our love can survive anything, you gave me hope for a better life, a better world. I would like to name the baby Nozomi, if it's a girl, my hope for a better world."

Zandre quickly wiped the tears from her eyes, rising from the chair and sat on the edge of the bed. "I so happy that I got through to you, made you realize I'd love you no matter what. That we can have a better life even if you have only one arm. Gohan, there's something else I've got to tell you."

"What is it? Is something wrong with the baby?" he snapped out, almost sitting up.

"No, no, they're fine Gohan," Zandre said, taking his hand in hers.

His hand slipped from hers, taking her chin and forcing her to look him in the eye, "'They'... Zandre, you don't mean..."

"I'm not sure, Bulma says she's got some machine that could tell us. We're gonna check after we remove the casts," she replied, removing his hand.

Zandre pulled away, pushing her feelings aside, turning professional as she let the others in, ChiChi and Ox-King had arrived, and as all four came in, she turned to the patient. Neither said a word as the casts were quickly removed. Gohan slowly pulled on his clothes as the others oohed and aahed over Zandre, the egg and the baby.

"If you guys wouldn't mind, Zandre's asked me about checking her and the baby over, so everybody out," Bulma said, pushing ChiChi toward the door.

Gohan half-laughed at his mother as he helped Zandre up on the bed. She started to do a little unraveling to move little brother upwards and he reached out to help, suddenly stopping as he realized, "That's Piccolo's."

"It was the only thing I had that would work. And it's one more thing he's familiar with," she replied, holding little brother to her chest as she lay down.

Bulma wheeled over a cross between a computer and a welding arm, "So let's see if your suspicions are true Zandre."

Bulma adjusted the height and placed the arm over Zandre's lower stomach, punching away at the buttons. She stopped, a slight smile crossing her face as she turned the screen to the parents. Two fuzzy tiny forms could be seen, complete with Saiyajin tails.

Zandre turned to Gohan, trying to measure his reaction. He sat there, staring and slowly rose, leaving without saying anything. Bulma quickly followed, joined by ChiChi as Trunks and Ox-King joined Zandre. One look at the screen and they understood why.

"Zandre...is that true?" Trunks babbled.

"Zandre-san, you know Gohan's just shocked," Ox said as he removed the scanner, helping Zandre up.

"I know Ox I know," she sighed, sitting lotus style with little brother in her lap. A sudden wiggle brought her spirits up. "Hello there," she chorused.

Zandre quickly pushed the fabric off him, bundling it up around him, her hands resting on her knees. The wiggling became more frantic as she noticed Trunks run out.

"Is there anything we can do Zandre-san?" Ox asked just as the others walked in.

"Not really. You guys are just lucky to witness this," she replied, not taking her eyes off him.

She suddenly jumped, and as she set it upright everyone realized why, he broke through. Slowly the whole shell cracked up and fell off, revealing a pink and green two-year-old in human terms, still in the egg sack. His eyes slowly opened and her turned to Zandre with a small smile and a look of recognition.

Zandre smiled back and addressed the others as he took a hold of the sack, "I don't want you guys to scare him, so try not to jump as he..." she stopped as he shoved the sack into his mouth, not stopping until he swallowed it whole.

"Greetings little one. I know this isn't home, but Gohan here just got out of this bed from his injuries," Zandre started as she took parts of the shell out of her lap.

"It's okay Zandre. You explained it before. But this is nice. Thank you," little brother replied, patting the cape and helping her, shocking everyone else.

They had it cleared quickly and Zandre loosely wrapped part of it around him. She picked him up, his head nestled on her left elbow as a yawn escaped him. "Sleep well, little one. I'll tell them about it."

He smiled at her, his hands closing around her braid as he fell asleep, a golden glow encompassing them both. She looked up to find the others all staring speechless. Gohan and Trunks slowly started inching closer, both asking, "Wha...?"

Zandre giggled as she turned back to little brother, catching a small smile cross his face, "We're completing the family bond. That's part of the reason I had to sleep with him. It was establishing the bond from him to me. This is making the one from me to him. When it's finished, we'll have a little more than a parent-child relationship. We'll know each other's feelings, if the other's in danger, what the other's doing. A lot like a telepathic link actually," she summed it up.

"Then that would explain." Gohan mumbled, turning an almost pleading look to Zandre.

She just smiled, 'That's exactly why.'

He returned the smile just as Trunks asked, "Did it work on me too? He was with us that night I ..."

Zandre smiled, nodding him closer, "It did Trunks, but not as strong. Yours and Gohan's is more of a brotherly bond to him, so don't be surprised if he does this with you. I should warn both of you, when it does don't wake him up. If you do, it changes drastically; he'll consider you his worst enemy. Just let it happen and everything will be fine."

Trunks gingerly sat on the end of the bed and picked up a piece of the shell, trying to break it. "What is this made of? I can barely bend it."

That brought everyone closer, attempting the impossible, Bulma even tried bracing it against the floor. Zandre giggled as she took the piece from Gohan. The white light of her ki energy formed around her hand and moved into the shell, shattering it in her hand. "I don't quite understand it all, but the density of it's connected to little brother's mind and ki."

"Do you mind if I test this out Zandre? Is it okay if I take the shell?" Bulma asked, intrigued.

"No go ahead, little brother doesn't need it anymore. Do whatever you want," she replied, stifling a yawn.

"You should rest Zandre-san. What with the babies and all," Ox said, turning to leave.

"He needs a name. We can't keep calling him little brother," Trunks said, unwilling to move.

Zandre hovered a little, turning to face Trunks, "I know he does, but nothing feels right."

"What about sticking with Piccolo?" Gohan asked.

ChiChi finally spoke up, "Oh Kami, don't tell me you'll be raising a mini Piccolo with my grandchild?!? I do not want that thing..."

"He's not a thing, he's a living being. And he doesn't have any of his father's personality. It wouldn't be right," Zandre interrupted, "Besides, I was told not to. I thought I'd leave it to him. If he doesn't have one, we can call him Aiko until he does," she added as she snuggled up with him.

Her stomach rumbling and a child's laughter woke her up. She opened her eyes to find him kneeling at her side, wearing a dark blue dogi she recognized from some photos.

"They're hungrier than you," he said as she sat up, turning to the window.

"Well we slept through lunch," she responded absently before turning to him, "Are you bonded with them too, little one?"

"It's just the brotherly bond as you explained it," he replied, hopping to the floor.

"So you heard huh? What do you think about your name?" she asked, taking his hand and heading for the kitchen.

"I don't have one yet. What does Aiko mean?"

"Little love or beloved," she said, smiling at him.

He stopped, looking her in the eyes, a smile crossing his face, "It'll work."

"Until you find another one," she smiled, squeezing his hand as they started again, "Where did you find those clothes anyway?"

"They were on the end of the bed when I woke up, so I pulled them on," he replied as they walked into the kitchen.

Bulma jumped, turning from filling the sink, "Zandre, we were wondering when you two were going to wake up. I save some supper for both of you," she said as Zandre slipped by, filling a glass.

"Thank you Bulma-san, but not for me," little brother replied as Zandre handed him the tall glass of water.

"I forgot to tell you before, all any Namek needs is water. They don't eat food," Zandre explained as he downed the water. She then turned to Aiko, "little one, why don't you go find Trunks and Gohan? I think they're outside."

He nodded happily as he returned the glass, bowed, and left running. Zandre stood there smiling at his quickly disappearing form. She was soon turned around to find a table full of food awaiting her. It quickly disappeared.

"You've got a Saiyajin appetite," Bulma exclaimed, laughing.

"I could barely eat a fourth of what Gohan does, but trying eating for two quarter Saiyajins and see how dramatic your appetite changes," Zandre replied, the mood suddenly changing.

Bulma took her hand, "Zandre you know he was just shocked. Just have one is a big responsibility, finding out there's two made that bigger and placed more of a need to get rid of the Jinzouninjin on him. That's the only reason he walked out."

She sat there, sorting her feelings, "No Bulma, it's more, so much more."

"What do you mean?" Bulma asked.

Gohan stopped by the outside door as he heard her say, "I'll admit that's part of it. But it's something he had to realize, accept that it could happen before we ever made love. I think he feels like he's burdening me."

"What? Why would he feel like that?"

"He remembers what it was like having a baby around, how an extra pair of hands helps. That's just it. A pair. Gohan doesn't know what he'll be able to do, he feels he's put it all on me, that there's no way he'll be able to help, to take care of them," she replied, her head falling into her arms on the table.

Zandre tried her hardest to keep her tears down, half for Gohan, half for little brother. She slowly raised her head to find Bulma fidgety and nervous, "What is it Bulma? Is he hiding something from me?"

Bulma kept fidgeting as she slowly looked up, "I really shouldn't be telling you this because I'm not sure if it'll work. But Gohan's acting like I could do it already, but I can't and I'm not really sure if I should."

"Bulma, you're babbling," Zandre cut in.

"I know, I know I'm sorry," she sighed, "I guess I should just say it straight out. Gohan's asked me to use what parts of the Jinzouninjin I've got to give him a new arm. I started collecting parts left behind to find some weakness, some way of tracking them, but I never got enough data from it all. Then, a few days after he healed he asked me to see if I could. He's been pressing it, thinking I can since you told him you're pregnant," it all poured forth.

A hand suddenly slammed on the table, leaving a few cracks, "Dammit, it's bad enough he's still hiding his feelings from me, he's hiding his actions too!" Zandre yelled, quickly leaving the same way she came.

Bulma got up, about to go after her when a voice from behind said, "Don't Bulma. She deserves this."

Bulma turned to find Gohan just inside the back door, "Gohan I'm sorry but I felt she should know. How many times have I asked you to tell her?"

"I know it's okay. I just don't know how to explain it, why I even asked," he said, his shoulders falling.

Bulma went to him, turning him to the other door, "I'm not the one you need to explain it to."

Gohan nervously stood there, unsure until a gentle push moved him closer. He wasn't even paying attention to where he was going; he knew the grounds inside and out. He was trying to sort his feelings. As he got to the door, he stopped.

Steadying his nerves, he slowly walked in. The lights were out, some slight movement making him realize she was in bed. He slowly went to the window, keeping his back to her, "So where is he?"

"little brother is staying with Trunks tonight, to establish their bond. Besides, they really hit it off," she said regaining some control of her voice, "I know you heard most of it."

"I'll admit that what you said is true, but that's not all of it. I asked about it before we even made them. I don't know how to explain this. It always felt like part of me was missing. It still does, sometimes. It didn't help how I was being treated. As you helped, as everyone changed, that feeling wasn't as strong, whole weeks go by when I do feel whole, complete. Until I have to do something and I can feel both arms move, I come across some thing that I still can't do." He paused, hearing her roll over, "It all comes back, just as strong as the first time. I'd hide it as best I could, I wouldn't let anyone know. I didn't want those first weeks repeating. More importantly, I didn't want to let you down. I could see it in your eyes, all the pride and happiness that I was overcoming this. I didn't want you to see I'm not as strong as you thought."

She tried to cut in, but he pressed on, turning to face her, "Then that fight happened on one of my bad days. That's part of the reason I was trying so hard, to regain that strength, that confidence. After you healed me, told me about the baby, I realized I had to do something so I wouldn't have these swings, so I asked again. I told Bulma not to tell you until we were sure we could do it. I knew you'd try to talk me out of it, but you've got to understand why I did."

"Gohan, you've shown me how strong you are by admitting how you feel. I can't believe you could forget everything they did and let a part of them become a part of you. I'm amazed you could do that," she replied turning to him.

His gaze fell and he turned back to the window, "I haven't, I don't know if I can. That's where everything you said comes in. Zandre, I remember how much of a handful Trunks was. I felt I'd be able to help with one, even if a little bit. But then, hearing all Mom's tales about me brought up how many doubts. Now finding out there's two, I doubt I can do anything."

Zandre slowly sat up, turning to face him, "Gohan, if I remember right, all the troublesome times were after you guys could walk. We've got time to figure something out, I'm almost two months along, and we've got at least a year until they're walking. Besides, look at all the help we'll have. I doubt we'll be alone with the twins much."

Minutes flew by as they stayed there, the other's words sinking in. Gohan slowly turned to Zandre, finding her lying down again. He went to the bed, kneeling near the head, "Zandre, I'm sorry I didn't tell you. You've helped me with so much already, I should have trusted you'd help again."

She smiled at him, her hands going to his, "It's okay Gohan. I should have realized that it's gonna take time," she paused, her right hand going to his cheek, "We've been through so much, helping each other, we'll make it through this. We're at our strongest together, … all four of us." She finished, placing his hand over her lower stomach.

His eyes went to his hand. A slow sigh of relief and belief was followed by a caring, hopeful smile.