A/N: I love you guys so much! And I'm sorry to each and every one of you whom I made cry. It wasn't my intention I promise!
The door creaked open. He froze. When there was no sound from within, he tiptoed further, his little feet sinking into the soft carpet beneath them. He rarely came in this room. They rarely had guests. So the plush flooring had barely been walked on since it had been installed. The room was still dark, the curtains drawn tightly across the window, but he could make out her shape, curled up in a ball on her side and facing the wall.
The bed was higher than he had thought. He pouted a little until he remembered something. Hurrying quietly from the room, he returned in less than a minute with the stool he used for when he did his big boy wees into the toilet. Placing it down at the edge of the bed, Henry climbed up. Gripping the soft comforter, he hauled himself up and landed heavily on a leg.
Emma sat bolt upright, her eyes wide with fear as she scanned the dark room.
"Sorry!" Henry whispered.
Emma gasped as she realised what had woken her. "Henry," she said, lying back against the soft pillows and trying to regain control of her heart rate. "You scared me."
"Sorry," Henry said again, crawling up the bed until he was sat beside the blonde.
"What are you doing in here?" Emma asked. "What's the time?"
"I don't know," Henry said. He hadn't learnt to tell the time yet but his mother had promised to teach him soon.
Emma turned to look at the alarm clock on the bedside table. She groaned.
"Henry, it's not even five in the morning yet," she said. "Why don't you go back to your room and sleep a bit more."
"I don't want to sleep in my room on my own," came the simple reply.
Oh. Emma knew what this was. She herself had crawled into enough beds of older 'siblings' seeking comfort in her life to recognise what was happening. She just didn't know why Henry had chosen her not his mother.
"Did you have a nightmare?" she asked gently, pulling back the duvet and smiling when the boy practically dove beneath the covers, his warm toes digging into her thigh as he wriggled around, trying to get comfortable.
"Yes," he said.
"Want to talk about it?"
"No."
"Ok."
There was a moment of silence and Emma closed her tired eyes. Henry had awoken her from the first proper sleep she had had in ten days. Mere seconds after she had lain down on the soft, clean sheets the previous evening had she slipped blissfully from consciousness.
"Do you have bad dreams, Emma?"
"Sometimes," Emma nodded opening her eyes and looking at the pale face beside her own on the pillow.
"What do you do when you get scared?"
"What do you mean?" Emma asked.
"Who gives you cuddles and makes you feel better?"
Emma's heart clenched. "Oh. No one, I guess."
There was another pause. Even through the darkness, Emma could tell Henry was thinking hard.
"You can cuddle me, if you like," he said eventually.
Emma forced herself to smile but inside she was shattering into a thousand little pieces. She didn't deserve this kind of love from a child. Henry, for some inexplicable reason, believed wholeheartedly that Emma was a good person. To him, she was someone who would take care of him, and whom he could take care of in return. But she wan't. She could never be that to this small boy. Emma might have had many siblings growing up but she had let down the one child who needed her most. She couldn't allow Henry to believe that she wouldn't do the same to him. Emma wasn't built for family life. She was designed to be alone.
Regina wasn't concerned when she poked her head around Henry's door later that morning to find his bed empty. She never worried about Henry when Emma was around. Which was strange, she mused as she headed to the kitchen to make some coffee, because she could count the number of people she trusted with her son on one hand.
It was still early on Sunday morning but already Regina's newspaper had been delivered. She retrieved it from the doorway and walked into the living room, already reading the headlines. Returning to the kitchen to collect her coffee, she soon found herself curled up on the couch, catching up on the latest news and debating with the opinion pieces. Just as she was reaching for a pen to fill in a crossword, she heard the sound of movement from the guest bedroom.
"Morning Mama," Henry said as he entered the living room a few minutes later, his little hands rubbing sleep from his eyes.
"Good morning, my little prince," Regina said, putting the paper aside and spreading her arms wide so her son could clamber into them. "How did you sleep?"
"I had another bad dream," Henry said.
"The same as before?"
Henry nodded and stuck his thumb in his mouth, settling down against the reassuring warmth of his mother's body. Regina kissed the top of his head and looked towards the door. She was unsurprised to see Emma leaning there, watching them.
"Good morning," she said quietly. "Would you like a coffee?"
"Yes please, but don't get up. I'll make it myself, if that's ok?"
Regina nodded her consent and the blonde disappeared. She turned her attention back to her son who was now fiddling with the buttons running down the centre of her silk pyjamas. Her fingers raked through his unkempt hair and he snuggled closer. She loved Sundays.
Emma reappeared with a steaming mug minutes later and took a seat on the far side of the living room. Regina didn't say anything. But she did allow her eyes to rove over the toned legs Emma's sleep shorts left on display. Well, Regina's sleep shorts. Emma didn't own pyjamas and had been more than a little embarrassed about asking for some the night before.
"Henry, why don't you go and get dressed," Regina said.
"Ok," the boy agreed, sliding from his mother's chest and trotting out of the room.
Emma watched him go, if only to prolong the moment she knew she would have to look into Regina's concerned gaze.
"Sorry about Henry joining you last night," Regina said after a while.
"It's ok," Emma shrugged. It was ok. She and Henry had slept soundly side by side until they had finally awoken, Henry's arm thrown over Emma's waist and her own wrapped around his little body.
"Did you sleep well, apart from the intrusion?"
"Yes, thank you." She managed a weak smile. Her lip hurt a little at the movement but it was worth it to see Regina beaming back at her. Emma wondered how much pain she would put up with to see the beautiful brunette happy.
"Henry and I were going to go to the playground this afternoon, if you wanted to join."
Emma sighed and put her mug down. She knew Regina was trying to help her but it just made her feel … pathetic. Emma Swan didn't do pathetic. She was stronger than that. She was better than that.
"Regina, I can't stay here," Emma said. "I can't just … I don't know, tag onto your family. It's not fair to you or Henry and, to be honest, I think I should leave."
"Do you want to leave?" Regina asked.
Emma shook her head. "That's not the point. I think -,"
"I know what you think," Regina interrupted, a challenging glint in her gaze. "I asked what you wanted."
God, this woman was infuriating, Emma thought as she glowered at the twinkling brown eyes before her.
"Regina, thank you for everything you've done for me, really," she began again. "But this isn't going to end well for anyone."
"What isn't going to end well?" Regina asked.
"This. Us."
"There's an us?" Regina said with a quirk of an eyebrow.
Emma blushed scarlet. "Well, not yet. Not now. But I thought there might have been, before Granny fired me. At least, I wanted there to be an us."
"And now?"
"And now I'm back on the streets," Emma said. "I may have convinced myself that you were even remotely interested in me when I was a bus-girl but now I'm under no delusions. Look around us, Regina. You live in this amazing penthouse on Fifth Avenue and I've spent the last eight months in a tunnel. How the fuck is that ever going to work?"
"Please don't swear in my house," Regina said calmly. "Henry might hear you."
"Oh yeah, and then there's Henry," Emma nodded, ignoring the scolding she had just received. "How do you think this looks to him, Regina? You're inviting this street rat into your home who's been busted up by some disgusting man and now you, what? Want to see what happens between us?"
Forcing herself to move past what Emma had just let slip about her attack, Regina cleared her throat before she spoke.
"I don't know how this looks to Henry," she answered honestly. "But he's a bright kid and I think he sees what I see."
"And what's that?" Emma asked. "Someone who needs rescuing from a life of poverty? A loser who can't get her shit together," Regina frowned at the swear word, "or just a piece of ass you think you can have whenever you want because that's all she's good for."
Emma dissolved into tears, surprising both herself and Regina as the emotions burst from her. Regina scrambled from the couch and flung herself across the room. Without thinking, she practically climbed into the armchair with Emma, ignoring the way the woman flinched, and wrapped her arms around the sobbing woman. Henry appeared in the doorway and his forehead creased in confusion. Slowly, he made his way to the two women and pulled himself up so he was sat in Emma's lap. He didn't know what was wrong but he wanted to help. His little arms curled around Emma and his mother and the three of them sat like that for a long time, the only sound in the room being Emma's crying.
Eventually, the blonde looked up. Her green eyes were red and puffy and her cheeks were flushed. Henry reached up and wiped one of her cheeks. Regina, after a moment's hesitation, wiped the other.
"Thanks guys," Emma sniffed. "Is it ok if I go and take a shower? I think it will do me some good."
"Of course," Regina nodded, helping Henry off the chair before climbing off the blonde herself.
Emma ignored the fact that she missed the comforting weight of the older woman on her and instead stood up. She tried to smile but the corners of her mouth felt too heavy so instead she just walked from the room and into the bathroom she had used the night before.
"What's wrong with Emma, Mama?" Henry asked.
"She's just a bit upset at the moment," Regina explained. "But don't worry, we're going to make sure she's safe and happy from now on."
"Ok," Henry said. "Can we make her pancakes for breakfast?"
His face looked innocent enough but Regina knew his son was being sly. Pancakes were a monthly treat and they had eaten them last weekend.
"We can have pancakes if you promise to go to bed early tonight," Regina bargained. "I think I need to talk to Emma without a sneaky little four year old around."
Henry nodded rigorously and headed straight for the kitchen. Before Regina had even entered, she could hear him clattering about as he pulled out the pan and bowls they'd need to make their breakfast dish.
Regina half expected Emma to have disappeared whilst she and Henry were at the park that afternoon. What she had certainly not expected was to be greeted with the smell of burning and a hallway full of smoke.
"Stay here, Henry," Regina said, as soon as she opened the door. The boy obeyed, his eyes wide. "Emma?" she called, moving further into the apartment.
"It's fine! I'm fine!" came the response.
Regina squinted against the smoke and moved into her kitchen. She could just make out the shadowy shape of Emma walking towards her.
"What happened?" Regina asked as Emma's face came into focus, a fire extinguisher in her hand.
"I'm so sorry!" Emma exclaimed. "I wanted to do something nice for you guys to say thank you and in my eagerness I'd completely forgotten what a disaster of a cook I am. The fire's out though and I don't think there was any damage."
Regina moved past Emma and opened the windows. The cold air rushed in and tendrils of smoke floated out. She walked back through to the living room and opened the windows there before returning to the hallway. Henry was still there, peeking inside the penthouse with curiosity and fear on his face.
"Mama, what happened?" he asked as his mother reappeared. "Is Emma ok?"
"Emma's fine, sweetheart," Regina said, joining him in the smoke-free hallway. "She was trying to cook and it went a little bit wrong."
"Is that why you tell me I'm not allowed to cook without you?" Henry asked.
"Yes," Regina nodded. "Sometimes people make mistakes and then there's a little fire. But don't worry, Emma put the fire out and now we're just going to wait out here until the smoke goes away."
"Ok," Henry nodded. "Is Emma waiting with us?"
"She should be," Regina remarked. "Emma?" she called back into the house. "Come out here please."
The blonde emerged, head down and feet shuffling. She looked remarkably like a child about to be scolded. Regina bit her lip to stop herself from bursting out laughing.
"Hi Henry," Emma said, leaning against the corridor wall. "How was the playground?"
"I fell off the swing," Henry said, holding up his hand which had a little graze on it.
"Oh dear," Emma said, crouching down to take a look. "Well, I'm sure your mom will clean that up for you as soon as the apartment is, erm, safe again."
"What were you cooking?" Henry asked.
"Pizza," Emma said. "But then I kinda forgot about it and fell asleep. Regina, I'm so sorry."
"Don't worry about it," Regina assured her. "Look, the smoke's nearly gone now and no one got hurt."
"I just wanted to do something for the two of you to say thank you and since I have no money to order a take-out, I had to try and work with my appalling cooking skills."
"No money?" Regina frowned. "Weren't you saving up when you worked at the diner?"
Emma glanced at Henry before answering. "It's gone."
Regina's eyebrows rose. She knew there was far more to the story than those two and a half words but she also knew Emma didn't want to discuss it in front of the boy. She made a mental note to ask Emma about it when Henry was safely in bed that night.
"Well how about I treat us all to a take-out?" Regina suggested. "Are you still in the mood for pizza?"
"Not really," Emma shrugged, looking alarmingly like a sulky school kid.
"I want pizza," Henry piped up.
"Pizza it is then," Regina smiled. "Let's go and order some now. Look, the smoke's cleared."
The three turned and looked into the now clear corridor of the apartment. Henry smiled and raced off down the hall and into the living room. Emma scrambled to her feet to follow, wanting to see how much damage her good intentions had really caused. Regina entered last, closing the door behind them.
The smell of smoke lingered in the kitchen but the oven unit itself was surprisingly unharmed. Emma let out a sigh of relief when she saw that it still worked and would only need a scrub down.
"I promise never to cook for you again," she said solemnly, turning to Regina who was closing the windows.
"Does that mean you plan on staying here a while?" she asked, her voice hopeful.
Emma quirked her lips to the side, considering her answer.
"Perhaps," she said eventually. "But just until I get myself back on my feet, ok?"
"Of course," Regina nodded with a wide smile. "Both Henry and I are happy to have you here for as long as you wish to stay."
"Why?" Emma asked.
"Why what?"
"Why are you being so nice to me? I mean, I doubt you're in the habit of letting beggars live in your apartment. Just a month ago you were handing me a couple of dollars on the street and now you're offering me a bed and a roof over my head. Why?"
Regina was stumped for a moment. To be honest, she didn't know quite why events had unfolded between herself and Emma in the way that they had. It wasn't exactly a common occurrence for her to spend time with … beggars, nor to invite them to live in her home. In fact, that had never happened before. So why now?
"Sometimes I can just tell when a person needs to be offered a chance," she settled on. "I don't know what happened to you, Emma, but I know you deserve better than what life has handed you. If it's alright with you, I'd like to be a part of your journey forwards."
"But why?" Emma asked, still confused as to why this powerful, rich, beautiful woman could possibly be interested in a street-rat like herself.
"I don't know," Regina admitted. "But the moment I saw you -,"
"On the street, begging," Emma interrupted.
"Yes," Regina nodded, remembering as she did so just how thin and cold the blonde had looked that day. "From that moment, I knew there was something special about you, Emma. Something drew me to you and it wasn't just … your looks." Emma blushed. "You interest me. You're funny and kind and you're great with Henry. You make me want to learn more about you and if you'll let me, I'd like to help you turn your life around."
"I don't need your help," Emma replied quickly. "I can find a job on my own."
"Ok," Regina said. "But if you do need anything, please know that I'm here for you and I want to do whatever I can to help."
Emma regarded the woman before her, trying to work out what Regina could possibly gain from her being in the apartment and in her life. She couldn't think of anything. As far as she could see, the brunette had no ulterior motive.
"Ok," she said at last. "Thank you."
"You're welcome," Regina said. "Now, what topping do you want on your pizza?"
Henry insisted that Emma read him a bedtime story that night. So, tucked up in bed, he listened with rapt attention as the blonde turned each page of 'How Mrs Monkey Missed the Ark'. When she had finished, she wished him goodnight and left his room, allowing Regina to tuck him in and kiss him goodnight alone. By the time Regina emerged, Emma was already sat on the couch, finishing off the glass of wine she had enjoyed with their pizza dinner.
"So," Regina said as she took a seat at the other end of the couch.
"So," Emma nodded.
A lot had changed since the women had last been in the same spot. Emma thought back of the two weeks she had experienced since their … date? and wondered, once again, how on earth she had ended up staying in a penthouse loft on Fifth Avenue. Regina, on the other hand, was wondering how best to get Emma to tell her what had happened.
"Who hurt you?"
The question was blunt but Regina figured there was no other way. She needed to know. Emma had been expecting her to ask and was ready with her answer.
"Some guy," Emma shrugged. "It's no big deal."
"Did he take your money too?" Regina asked.
Emma nodded, turning her face away from the brunette's curious gaze. She really, really didn't want to tell Regina what had happened that night in the tunnel between her and Killian. The fact that he took her money was humiliating enough but that he had forced himself on her. She shuddered as the memory washed over him.
"Who was it?" Regina asked, registering the way the blonde had shivered and a heavy weight settled in the pit of her stomach. "Emma, maybe I can help find him. We could even press charges."
"We?" Emma frowned. "Firstly, there is no 'we'. It was my mistake and I don't want you getting involved. And secondly, there is no way I'm going to court."
"Because your lawyer messed up in Phoenix?" Regina prompted.
"You've been googling, I see," Emma remarked, a slight bite in her tone.
"I may have," Regina shrugged. "You shouldn't have served time for your first offence. I don't know what your public defended did but he screwed you over in that court room."
"Nothing I could do about it though, right?" Emma said. "It's not like I had money to hire myself a proper lawyer."
"Well, this time would be different. I could -,"
"No," Emma said firmly. "You're not going to represent me pro-bono and I'm not telling you who did this or what happened. And even if I did, there's no way we could win the case anyway."
"You seem to have little faith in my legal abilities," Regina said.
"No, I have seen enough television to know that working girls never get justice when something goes wrong."
Regina balked. She had not been expecting that.
"You were -,"
"Can we drop it?" Emma asked, really not wanting to discuss the fact that she'd been selling her body on the streets to feed herself with Regina. "And please don't look at me like that. It was my decision, my life. Don't pity me."
"Are you gay?"
This time Emma was surprised by the blunt question. Even Regina herself seemed a little taken aback by how abrupt she had been.
"Yes," Emma nodded. "Why does that matter?"
"But the guy who hit you was … well, a guy?"
"Yeah," Emma nodded. "Just because I'm attracted to women doesn't mean I can't fuck men." Regina glanced towards the doorway. "Sorry for swearing but frankly that is all it was. Fucking. It meant nothing and the fact that I wasn't remotely attracted to these people made it much easier. It was just a job, Regina. Nothing more."
"But why?" Regina asked, still unable to comprehend how anyone could be that desperate for money.
"Because it was the easiest way to survive," Emma shrugged. "When I first got to New York I met a girl who turned tricks. It sounded awful and I said no when she invited me to join her one night. But after a few weeks on the streets, scraping together a few dollars each day from panhandling, it started to seem like the only option to keep myself alive."
"Until you got your job in the diner?"
"Actually, I stopped before that. When I met August he and I kinda became a team. He rescued me from … not a nice client, and between us we scraped by from then on. Except for one guy. He'd been the kindest to me out of all the men and he wanted to continue meeting once a week. I'd never had any problems with him until I told him I didn't want to continue our arrangement. That was just before I moved in with Ruby. And then, when I returned, he found me again."
The blonde didn't need to continue for the older woman to know what had happened next. Regina reached out and grasped Emma's trembling hand.
"You're safe here," Regina said, squeezing softly. "He's never going to hurt you again."
"And you're still ok with me hanging out here for a bit?" Emma asked. "Even though you know what I … did?"
Regina smiled in what she hoped was encouragement. "Emma, I don't care what happened to you before we met. I mean, I want you to tell me, one day, but right now, all I care about is you getting better and stronger and back to the woman who my son loved to spend time with in the diner. That woman is the person I'm interested in knowing, not the one bad circumstances forced you to become."
"Really?"
"Really. Now, would you like some more wine?"
Emma nodded. "Yes please."
Regina went to stand up but Emma's grasp on her fingers tightened and pulled her back to the couch.
"What?"
"Thank you. For everything," Emma said earnestly.
"You're welcome, Emma," Regina said.
The two women looked at each other, eyes scanning the other's face, trying to read their emotions. It was Regina who made the first move. She leaned towards the blonde and allowed her free hand to cup Emma's cheek. Their lips brushed in the softest of kisses, Regina careful not to put pressure on Emma's wound. It was brief, too brief. But when they broke away, their smiles were wider than ever and their eyes dark with arousal.