~ANNOUCEMENT TIME!~
Guys. GUYS. . .1, ! GAH! I LOVE YOU ALL! AND YET I'M NOT A LESBIAN. THANKS SOOOOO MUCH FOR PUTTING THROUGH ALL MY SHITTY WRITING! AND WITH OUT FURTHER ADO, SOME SPECIAL GUESTS ARE DOING THE DISCLAIMER AND WARNING! ALSO, THIS IS THE FINAL PART TO CHAPTER 3. WOW, ONLY CHAPTER 3 BUT WITH OVER 1,000 VIEWS?! I feel amazed. Anyways, guys! Take it away!~ (P.S. sorry about spelling error last chappie! i put HATSUME instead of KATSUME! again, sorry!)
Maddie/Seika: Why? Why can't someone else do it?! I DON'T KNOW WHO THE HECK ENGLAND OR KAITO ARE! I mean, I do...
ME: JUST DO IT! Hehe, what up Shia Lebouf REFERENCE! WHAT UP SUPERWOMAN REFERENCE!
Kasanoda: Why am I here? I appear in the future chapters.
ME: Oh yeah, you do! We'll be putting you in an enclosed cage until it's your time to shine! *pushes Kasanoda away*
Kasanoda: Wait! A CAGE?! NONONONONO-
ME: *put duct tape around him* There. You can shut up and relax until you appear. (am I sadistic or what?! okay, it's not a good thing, isn't it?)
Kasanoda: MMMMHUM! (translation: WAIT! AT LEAST TAKE CARE OF JERRY! HE'S HIDDEN IN ONE OF THE HEDGES!)
Maddie/Seika: Can we just do it now?! I WANT TO LOOK BADASS EARLY SO THAT WAY I WON'T LOOK LIKE SHIT WHEN I DO IT!
ME: Fine. Hey, ANGIE! WE NEED YOU NOW!
Maddie/Seika: Who the hell is that?!
ME: Your stunt double. Just in case you look like shit. :P
Maddie/Seika: YOU KNOW WHAT?! I'LL JUST DO IT NOW! THIS SADISTIC BITCH DOES NOT OWN OHSHC OR ELSE THIS WOULD'VE HAPPENED!
ME: So true, sista. SO TRUE.
Angie: SO you wanted me here? Make it snappy or else I'm leaving. I BETTER be paid overtime for this shit.
ME: You know what? Angie, you're fired. Hey, Kasanoda, Hand over $300.
Kasanoda: MHYHUUMM! (translation: HELL NO! I RATHER SEE MY FURRY FRIENDS DIE THEN DO THAT! Actually, here's the money...)
ME: Now that's a good boy. Here, Angie. Now leave or else.
Angie: Or else what?
ME: Tamaki, Kyoya. Come here.
Tamaki: TODAY IS THE DAY I'LL BEAT THE RECORD OF EATING 20 BAGS OF CRACKER JACKS IN 10 MINUTES!
Kyoya: You can leave and never speak of this again, or would you like my handsome soldiers cater to you in prison? *flashes evil glare*
Angie: (God, they're idiots, but handsome ones.) Uh, um, BYE! I HAVE AN APPOINTMENT WITH UM, MY FORK! YEAH, MY FORK! *zooms off*
Me: Okay, now let's try this again.
Maddie/Seika: Again, this sadistic bitch that kinda acts like me does not own OHSHC or else THIS would happen.
Kasanoda: MMMMUHUMMMHU! (translation: Foul Language and some suggested themes are in this fanfic. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED BY A VICTIM OF HERS.)
Chapter 3:
THE COSPLAY CONTEST THAT KINDA RESEMBLES THE "HARUHI BEACH INCIDENT!" (LAST PART, I PROMISE. I PROMISE. NEXT PART WILL BE GOOOD~) *PART 5*
"M-Mewp Pe!" I turned around to see Renge with a cloth over her face held be a person. I couldn't see his face since the lights backstage were slightly dimmed. Then I was held in the same position too. The cloth was heavily dosed with a sleeping drug. I heard a gruff but young voice say "Shh. Go to sleep little bitch. Go to sleep." The last thing I saw was Renge falling asleep. My eyelids then droopily closed, and I blacked out.
"H-Huh?" I looked around, and it seems that Renge and I were tied up in the back alley, with our 2 kid-nappers around us. What the fuck?...
"Ahh, so Bitch #2 woke up. Hey, Alvin? Did ya give Bitch #1 an overdose?" The guy supposably named Alvin, was sharpening his knife.
" Huh? Nope. Bitch did herself." He turned to face me, and touched my cheek in a creepo way. I need to get out of this, NOW.
"Bitch, you'll make us a lot of moolah. Boss gonna be proud." He chuckled and elbowed Alvin, possibly to gut us now. Shit. I need to wake up Renge! I elbowed her, then punched her back (they're tied up.) , and then...I couldn't think of what else to do. Ah! My FUCKING SWISS ARMY KNIFE! Halalojah! I got the multi-use knife out of my secret pocket that they never bothered to check, flicked out the blade, and started cutting the rope. I hope this won't take long...
"Alvin, where the fuck is Theodore?" Aww great. The chipmunks come to kid-nap us. What's next? The 3 Stooges hire us to be on Jersey Shore?! (1)
"Don't know. Fucker's always late 'cause of him exporting goods for him hooker friends, Seymour." Yep, the chipmunks are here to kid-nap us and gut us.
"Ey, don't call me that in front of our customers! You always call me Captain Hotness!" Yeah..NO. That's worse than your breath. And your breath smells worse than shit. Yeah, WORSE THAN SHIT.
"Yeah, CAPTAIN HOTNESS." You could hear the sarcasm in his voice, but it was...off. Lolly folly! The rope is cut! So the plan is...Oh, yeah. I DON'T actually HAVE a plan yet. Oops. Hurry! He's gonna kill us! Okay, so I have to be faster than the Flash. So, I freed ourselves, push Renge aside, hopefully wake her up, and then be badass. Huh. That's actually good. Okay, count to Dragonball. A for Akame ga Kill, B for Baccano!, C for Card Captor Sakura, and...D FOR DRAGONBALL! TIME TO SHINE! I got up, dragged Renge far from the chipmunks, at the back corner of a dead end. The 2 got up, and readied their weapons.
"What the fuck?! I thought I tightened it fine!"
"You didn't get nough rope, dumbass!" I smirked, and showed them my swiss army knife.
"You are TRULY dumbasses. Didn't even bothered to check our pockets." They gritted their yellow teeth, grasping onto their knifes. Correction: Alvin has his pathetic kitchen knife and Seymour has his pistol and bat.
"WHY YOU LITTLE BITCH!" They lunged towards me, but they were so slow, so I stepped aside, giving me enough time to push Renge out of the back alley. Thank god she woke up!
"Renge! RUN AND CALL THE POLICE! I HAVE IT COVERED HERE!" I winked at her, and oh great. I kicked Alvin in the gut, and made a cut on Seymour's thigh.
"But-But-" God, Renge, why stutter?
" JUST GO!" She ran as fast as she could, disappearing before my eyes.
"I'M NOT GOING TO BE BEATEN BY A LITTLE BITCH!" Seymour limped over, trying to get a good swing at me. The bat came flying at me, but I caught it midway, taking the bat away from creepo guy. I smirked and bonked his head a couple of times, then kicked him across the back alley.
"HOW DARE YOU HIT SEYMOUR!" Alvin charged at me, but I stepped aside, and that gave me enough time to swing at at him, since he delayed at that left corner. THANK GOD FOR CREATING CORNERS!
"Ugh..."
"Hell..." Good. they're both in NO condition to fight. I hope that Theodore guy doesn't come. Oh great, I just jinxed myself.
"Seymour! Alvin! You lied to me! You said that there were 2! And now you got beaten by a bitch?! Why always leave the dirty work to me?..." He looked around, and saw me.
"Oi, girlie! You see what I have?" He opened his trench-coat,filled with goods and weapons. "You know what happens when you get naughty, don't you?" He laughed and I made a "what the fuck is he doing" face.
"And you got into a bit too much trouble. So why dn't we play a game?" He grinned and got a hacksaw out. Shit. Liv,Charlie,Drake, I hope you guys can take care of my notebooks when I die.
"Okay, but if I win, you have to let all the girls you captured free, deal?"
"Like the hell I'll lose!" He ran towards me, and I jumped on his head and leaped, sliding across to the other side.
"Shit! Can't you stay still like a good girlie?!" He came at me again, and I flicked out ALL the blades on the Swiss army knife. Oh, I'm just getting started, old pervert!
"BUT REMEMBER! I'M NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLIES!" I teased him, slicing his left arm as I ran past him. Then I heard a familiar voice.
"Seika! Are you alright!" Shit, Hikaru. He's gonna mess up.
"SO YOUR BOYFRIEND IS HERE TO SAVE THE DAY?! HAHAHA!" I blushed, and that's the last words coming out of your mouth, mister.
"SHUT UP! HE'S NOT MY BOYFRIEND!" I stabbed him in the back, giving him a final blow.
"Sei-chan, are they dead?" I looked up to see the police with the host club. I grinned, and faced them.
" Nope! I knew where to stab so that way they're still alive! Even though they're bad, I still want to give them another chance in life!" I grinned, and dragged all the bodies together, removing any weapons they had. Alvin, coughing blood, took my hand and said something to me.
"T-Thanks. Th-Thank you for giving an ass like me another chance. I would like to see my little girl again..." I smiled and thanked him back. It's like that warm,fuzzy feeling you get from doing something good, you know? The host club stared at me, and I realized that I was covered in bruises and scratches.
"I look like a mess, don't I? Hehe, sorry for worrying all of you guys!" I rubbed the back of my head, while I walked towards them. Huh, maybe Liv's aikido (2) lessons made some use.
"MY OWN DAUGHTER IS SOOO STRONG!~ CAN YOU TEACH DADDY HOW TO FIGHT, TOO?~" Aww great, he stole Armstrong's and Ed's sparkles!
"Maybe, Tamaki. But for the last time, I'm NOT YOUR DAUGHTER!" He went to his Emo Corner. Aww snap...Wait! I see Haruhi!~ Hue hue hue...
"Haruhi!~ YOUR FEMENINE FRIEND HERE WANTS YOU TO BOND WITH FRENCH DUDE HERE!~" Shitty poop. I sound like that guy now. He looked up with puppy eyes. I've gotta admit, that is pretty damn cute. She gave in and took Tamaki to the food trucks across the street.
"Sei-chan, who taught you how to fight?"
"My little sister. Funny how she's more athletic than me." Hunny's eyes sparkled, and told me something was going to happen.
"Cool! Can you teach how to too?"
"Sure! It's basically a mix between aikido and street fighting, which is basically how commoners fight, but even people that don't know how to fight know some techniques, like blocking a blow with your arm, punching, stuff like that."
"That's easy! Hey, you should come over to our dojo (3) sometime, kay?" I nodded and ruffled his hair.
"Yeah, that will be fun." Hikaru walked faster, catching up with our pace.
"So,Seika. Wanna,um, hang out?" I looked at him weirdly, but I just guessed it was some bonding time, since he most likely wanted to make up for his mannerism towards me. I nodded, and grabbed his hand, running back to the cosplay contest. Wait. . ?! The world is ending. The world IS ending. Iniciate Robot Fangirl Mode in : 3, 2, 1. . . MOE!~
~Author's Note~
Again, thanks SOOOO much for putting up with my shitty writing! And the celebratory chapter for 1,000 views? Her first meeting with the Black Magic Club. GAH! I feel soooo happy! Anyways, onto the references and translations!
Translations:
aikido (2)- a form of martial arts that originated in Japan (i think?); practiced by Liv and Misaki from Kaichou wa Maid Sama
dojo (3)- a place where people come for classes in martial arts (sorry! i watch too much Ranma 1/2...); usually owned by grumpy old men (i'm being stereotypicial here, am I?)
~References~
The 3 Stooges hire us to be on Jersey Shore?! (1)- Moe, one of the 3, got onto Jersey Shore after separated from the other 2; actually happened in movie; decided it would be good as a reference; clearly states that author lady is a douche :P
This is BlackMidnightWhite, signing out. BYE!~