Secrets That Kill

Summary: Bella has been living in Forks all her life. After years of bullying she turns to something that can kill. Later she is diagnosed with anorexia and she cuts daily. She's in the stage of depression. Will the new kids be able to help her out? All human.

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or its characters. I just own the plot of this story.

Ages:

Bella – 17

Edward – 17

Emmett – 18

Rosalie – 17

Jasper – 17

Alice – 16

Charlie – 43

Carlisle – 36

Esme - 35

Families:

Swans;

Bella

Charlie

Cullen's;

Carlisle

Esme

Emmett (oldest of the bunch)

Rosalie & Jasper (twins, the next in the family)

Edward (adopted in the family 3 years after the twins were born)

Alice (the youngest of the bunch)

(all of them are Carlisle and Esme's real children apart from Edward)

Bella Swan

Rosalie told me that it was okay to sit on her bed so I did, dragging the IV pole along with me. I cautiously sat down on the soft silk comforter. I didn't want to sit on it; I was afraid it would break. How the hell did Rosalie sleep in it?

Her room was so expensive; the Cullen's were probably full of money. Not that that bothered me too much. It didn't; hardly at all.

My bedroom looked like a trash can to this. Wow.

I sat still on the bed with my hands gently folded in my lap. I didn't dare move because if I did, I was afraid I'd break something.

Rosalie stood there looking at me for a moment before she turned and reached into a flower pot. She slid a tiny key out - one just like mine - and pushed it through the lock on the huge butterfly box in the corner.

I didn't know what to think when she pushed the lid open, undid another lock, and pulled another box out. She paused before picking up the new box and brought it over to me.

She took a deep breath and sat down. "I have secrets that only I know of Bella. Sometimes in life you just have to do that. I've had this secret since I was 13 and it kills me not being able to tell anyone about it, not even my parents, and my siblings. I'm not strong enough to tell them. You'll be the first person to know this and I need you to promise you won't tell anyone."

I nodded. I knew what it was like when you had secrets. "I promise." I whispered.

She nodded with a blank expression and opened the box that was resting in her hands.

I gasped quietly at what I saw. I didn't think Rosalie would be the type of person to…to do this.

I stared at her with tears in my eyes as I stared inside the box.

The covers wrapped around the inside of the box were black and there were 3 knives neatly set out on the smooth fabric. The middle one was the sharpest.

"Are you going to stab me?" I asked; my voice full of terror.

Rosalie's blank expression suddenly turned amused. "Stab? I don't stab anyone Bella." She paused. "Well that might be a lie, I do stab someone."

I stared at her with wide eyes. Who the hell did she stab!

She carefully rolled up the sleeves on her arms. I was astonished at what I saw. Loads of neatly made cuts and scars racked up her arms from the top of her hand to her elbow. Just like mine.

I was silent for so long that her face looked sad and she quickly pulled her sleeves back down. "I'm sorry for showing you something so horrid, Bella, but I have my reasons and I don't care w-"

"No!" I quickly cut her off. "I was silent because I'm not the only one anymore." I smiled faintly and showed her my arms.

She looked a little shocked. I was shocked too; her cuts were much worse than mine.

I slowly reached out for her hand and squeezed it tight. We both cried; just overjoyed that we weren't alone anymore.

And I truly felt like I could touch Rosalie without panicking; she knew how I felt - she was broken in some way too. We weren't much different in the inside.

"Maybe one day we'll tell our stories to each other." Rosalie whispered. "I mean about why you cut and why I cut." She added.

I nodded. "I'd like that."

We heard the front door open downstairs and loud footsteps made their entrance. The other kids had come home.

Rosalie quickly got up and locked the boxes, then slid them back against the wall.

I heard Alice's little voice as she ran up the stairs. "Rose!" she called.

Rosalie and I shared a look and then I quickly hid under the bed. I let the drape fall down and I couldn't see anything. Rosalie hid the IV pole behind the drape.

I felt her sit on her bed as the door opened.

"Hey Rose!" Alice's voice chirped. "Dad said you and Ems had to go to the dentist. How come you didn't tell us? We normally all go together."

"Emmett had a tooth ache so Dad wanted to take him but he protested to go without me there to hold his hand. You know what he's like. It was an emergency appointment." Rosalie was very convincing.

"Oh, so do you want to hang out?" Alice asked.

"Um no thanks, Ali. I think I'll just hang in my room today, I don't feel like doing anything." She said, sounding tired.

"Oh." Alice began. "Just call me if you need anything then." And then the door shut.

The drape pulled back and Rosalie smiled down at me. "She's gone." I took her outstretched hand and she pulled me out from under the bed.

"Doesn't you're dad ever wonder why you wear long sleeves in the hot weather?" I asked as we sat on her bed. Her dad was a doctor, it must have been hard. I had only managed to get away with it because Charlie wasn't very observant.

She nodded. "Yeah but he doesn't question me about it. I'm worried about next week though, we've got a pool party. What the hell am I going to do then? What are we going to do? You and Charlie are invited as well." She sighed.

Oh my…

"We'll have to come up with something, I've got out of pool parties loads of times but I'll come because I won't let you suffer." I whispered.

She smiled. "Alright. You want to go downstairs? Dad won't tell them why you're here, well what you have."

I nodded and took a deep breath. I had to do it sometime. "Okay."

Halfway down the stairs I stopped because I heard everyone talking in the front room.

Rosalie paused too and took my hand; giving me support that it was going to be okay.

She pulled me along into the room where everyone immediately stopped talking. I kept my gaze on the floor and my hand tight around Rosalie's. No need to look up. No need to look up.

But of course I did. All of the Cullen kids were staring at me with their mouths ajar. They weren't looking at me though; they were looking at mine and Rosalie's hands with shocked expressions.

Only Edward was staring at me. My face instantly grew hot.

I quickly dropped my gaze and Rosalie; feeling my discomfort, turned to Carlisle. "Is it okay if Bella and I go in the backyard for a bit? What time does Charlie want her back?"

"Of course. He said he'd call." He smiled. "How are you doing Bella?"

"Okay." I said quietly.

Rosalie quickly led me out through the backyard where we sat down on a bench.

We sat in a contented silence for a while before the glass door slid open and another presence made their way out into the cold yard.

"Bella?" Esme's voice was soft as she made her way to the bench.

Rosalie moved over a fraction so she was next to me; leaving room so Esme could sit down on the side of her.

I sent an apprehensive glance at Rosalie before tuning my gaze to Esme. "Yes?" I whispered.

"If you ever need to talk I'm always free. I can stop whatever I'm doing if you'd like to talk." She slid a silver cell phone from her pocket. "I want you to have this; it has all of the children's numbers in it so if you ever need someone to talk too, you can call one of us."

"I can't take your phone." I said; stunned.

She shook her head with a smile. "I have plenty of others in the house; I went and picked this one up this morning after Carlisle informed me that you would like to meet me some time."

"Oh." I didn't know what to say.

Rosalie gracefully took the phone from her mother and pressed it into my palm lightly with a smile.

When Esme departed back through the doors, tears fell from Rosalie's face.

I didn't think someone as beautiful as Rosalie should be crying. Yes, I know she had feelings but it didn't seem right that someone so perfect could be sad.

"Rosalie?" I asked quietly.

She wiped at her eyes quickly. "I'm okay. It's just that mom's so kind and gentle that sometimes I feel so guilty for hurting myself. She's been the best mother ever but yet I can't talk to her about my problems."

I did something then that I have never done since I was 5 years old. I wrapped my arms around Rosalie and comforted her. "My dad's the best dad ever too but I'm a little angry at him now for being so demanding but I still love him, but yet I find it so hard to convey my feelings to him too."

"Yeah. It's just seeing her so happy breaks my heart. I keep imagining what she'll look like when she finds out." She whispered.

"She doesn't have to find out." I replied.

"Secrets don't stay secrets, Bella. You have to know that, but I still can't bring myself to stop."

"Bella?" Carlisle's voice called from inside the house.

I flinched. I didn't mean too, it was just that Carlisle was my doctor and I felt a little anger towards him for trying to control me.

Rosalie noticed it, but said nothing.

He smiled at us. "Charlie has agreed to let you stay the night; I want to keep an eye on you. The other kids don't know why you're here."

I didn't know what to think. I didn't want to stay here for the night but did I want to be alone with Charlie in the house? No. I didn't think that it was fair for me to hang about in my room at the house so I would have to go downstairs with Charlie. I agreed to stay with the Cullen's.

Carlisle smiled and quickly went back inside; out of the cold breeze.

My eyes trailed to my IV pole and I felt sick again. I didn't want all those horrid liquids dripping into me. I reached my hand out and felt the IV pump running through my veins.

Rosalie's hand came and held mine still. "It's for the best. I didn't want to get better either." She whispered.

"Was Carlisle strict?" I asked lowly. It must have been hard for her; with her father being a doctor.

She nodded. "Yes, but not as strict as the clinic was."

"You went to a Clinic?" I was shocked. It must have been extremely hard!

"Yup." She sighed. "I refused to cooperate with dad. He didn't take it to well and drove me to the Clinic straight from school; I didn't even know where we were going. I was completely lost."

"Did they help you get better though? You seem okay now." She really did; apart from the cutting. But it was simple enough to put up a mask of happiness when you were dying inside. I vowed to myself that I would be there for Rosalie.

She shrugged. "Maybe a little, but I learned to hide what I was feeling and thinking. They thought I was getting better and I was released. Even now I push food away. Only sometimes."

"How did everyone react?" I didn't know if asking her questions would be too much but I really needed to hear it.

She pursed her lips. "I often heard mom crying in her room; even in the daytime. She'd have to excuse herself from almost everything that the family did and some of the days she couldn't even look at me. Dad was probably the same inside but after a while he seemed to hide it all and came off as strong. A bit too strong for my liking; he was quite rough, harsh with what he said and did." She shrugged precariously.

"Out of my siblings I think Emmett took it the worst. He always wanted to be near me; as if I was going to break every second. I'm thankful for it though; he held me while I cried, which was often. Alice kept breaking down in front of me and then running off. She had a lot of anger the first few weeks and months. She abruptly started yelling at dinner, in public; anywhere. It was quite embarrassing."

Her eyes flickered to the ground. "Then there was Edward…Well, he just thought I was an attention seeker. He hated me; and he didn't hide it either! He went around telling people how stupid and worthless I was. He told me I should grow up and take whatever was bothering me on the chin. But the first time he visited me in the Clinic he started to soften a little. He was like the person I knew before." She looked towards me. "We were all affected."

I nodded as I wiped tears away from my eyes. "I just want it all to stop. Why can't we freeze time?"

Rosalie pulled me into a hug; rocking us back and forth gently. "It'll be okay; I promise. I'll help you through. You're already letting someone in."

"No I'm not." I muttered against her clothing.

"Yes you are." She sighed. "You're touching me; touching someone. That's a good start Bella!"

I smiled. She was right; I was able to touch her without panicking. Maybe it was okay because she was similar to me; she understood me.

It's going a little slow at the moment, but it'll pick up soon, in a few chapters. Bella promise;D

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