CHAPTER 10

The grass tickling my nose wakes me from my slumber and my eyes flitter open. Grass? Why can I hear birds singing? Why am I outside? Where are my pants? And why do I feel as though I've been punched in the face by Kakarot….oh.

Memories of the night before come flooding back through the fuzz that fills my head. Shit. I try to stand up but something heavy is holding me down. I spin to see what it is, its Kakarot. He is butt naked and sprawled out on top of me.

Fuck. This just gets worse and worse. I wiggle my way out from under him and search for my trousers. I find them crumpled on the floor next to a rock, I clearly remember having Kakarot bent over that rock last night, and the memory makes me smile.

Suddenly I start to remember more and more. God I am going to be in so much trouble when I get home. I ruined Bulma's party, there's a me sized hole in the roof, her guests were probably terrified.

Then it hits me, the worst memory from the night before. The most embarrassing terrible thing happened, I told Kakarot I loved him. Never in all my life have I said those three words to anyone. Not my mother, not my wife no one, and yet I said it to him, and it felt like the most natural thing in the world, the words tasted good in my mouth. It was true, I said it coz it was so totally undeniably true. I just pray that he can't remember it, the state he was in I doubt he will remember a thing, thank god.

I pull on my jeans and my phone falls out of my pocket, 26 missed calls from Bulma. Fuck.

I head back over to my sleeping beauty, my eyes roam over his naked form, I drink in every ounce of him. What happened last night shouldn't have happened, it would destroy him to lose his son. As much as he loves me I can't make him happy. He will never be happy while his son hates him, and his son will always hate him as long as he is with me. I know I have to let him go, for once someone else's happiness is more important to me than my own, I know losing him will destroy my heart, my very soul will be ripped to shreds but his will still be intact, he will still have someone to live for, his son.

I can never see Kakarot again. It's obvious that the animal attraction between us is far too strong to be ignored, our Saiyan blood runs too hot, too red for us to deny our lust. As long as we are around each other we will end up back in this position, for me it's the best position in the world but for him it could ruin everything.

I'm going to make this as easy for him as possible, but before I wake him I just need to have one moment with him one more moment to love him. I kneel down at his side and gently stroke his silken hair, I kiss his lips and once more savour the sweet flavour of my Kakarot. I gaze upon his perfect face and whisper "I love you, Kakarot, sorry for this" I stand and force my face into a hardened scowl, this used to be my natural expression, shouldn't take too long to get used to it again.

I nudge him with my toe "wake up fool" his eyes open and he stretches himself out like a cat. "Geta? What happened? Why are we here? Where's my pants?"

"What happened was you got drunk and started a fight, idiot to think you could beat me"

"So, where's my pants?"

"I ripped them off you right before I fucked you. Don't you remember anything from last night?" "Nothing at all, I wasn't supposed to have sex with you I was supposed to resist you"

"well I'm pretty irresistible Kakarot, especially to a low class like you" his head snaps up and I can see the hurt in his eyes, I already want to hug him and make him feel better, but I don't, I need to stay strong, this is only going to get worse.

"Did I do anything embarrassing last night?" he asks

"well you slapped me, you called me a slut, you nearly kahmahamayhad me in front of a whole room of people, you broke my house with my face, then we came out here and I fucked you like the third class that you are"

"Why do you keep saying that Vegeta?"

"Saying what? Calling you a third class? Because that's what you are"

"yeah… but you haven't called me that for ages, I thought you had got over the whole class thing" "I had, until you chose that bitch of a wife and your whiney little sprog over me, that's when I realised you were never on my level, I don't really know what I was thinking fucking you anyway" he looks as though I have just slapped him in the face, I'm pretty sure that would have hurt him a lot less than this.

But this needs to be done, I need to hurt him to make him realise I was just one massive mistake and he should go back to his family move on and forget all about me. He won't be able to do that knowing that I love him.

"But Vegeta? I …..I don't understand, you just said we made love last night"

"No Kakarot I said I fucked you. I'm hardly going to pass up that sweet ass of yours when you hand it to me on a plate like a whore am I" he doesn't say a word he just looks at the ground. I know that face, I saw it in the mirror last week when he left me, that's the face of heartbreak, and betrayal. That's the face of a man whose soul is being ripped to pieces. I am slowly ripping him to pieces.

I turn my back on him, I can't bear to see his pain for a second longer

"Now if you don't mind Kakarot I need to get home to my wife, I suggest you do the same, oh and don't get undressed in front of her for a few days. I messed you up pretty bad" I look at him over my shoulder and see him taking in the scratches on his shoulders and the bite mark on his neck "why….are you doing this Vegeta. I thought you loved me?"

"Well then you were wrong, just like you've been wrong about everything else in your life" with that I walk away into the trees and stop just out of his sight.

I wait for what seems like an eternity before I feel him leave. As he leaves so does part of me. I think I done a pretty good job of that. Kakarot will never want to see me again, safeguarding him from losing his son it may take a while but he can go on and be happy now, without me.

The enormity of what I have just done suddenly hits me. I will never see Kakarot again.

I stand still as a statue, I don't feel sad or depressed or….anything really. I feel literally nothing, I am dead inside. I never used to have many feelings but I always had my anger and most of all my pride, but now even that had deserted me. The emptiness stretches out before me for eternity. I slowly sink to the ground in a heap as it totally overwhelms me. I am nothing without him just a worthless shell. I stay there on the floor for what could have been minutes or hours, I have no idea. And that is where Bulma finds me.

She doesn't talk at first, she simply sits down next to me and places her hand on my back. We sit still for a while "let's go home, can you walk?" I wonder why she thinks I might not be able to walk. Does she think I have been fighting all night she must think Kakarot hurt me, how wrong she is, in fact I hurt him, in the worst way you can possibly hurt another person.

"I can walk" I say, even my voice sounds different, my usual sarcastic, arrogant sound replaced with a flat monotonous drone.

She helps me to my feet and we walk towards the house. When we enter she doesn't mention the gaping hole in the ceiling, I try not to notice it, but I do. She sits me down on the sofa and goes to the kitchen.

She comes back in a few moments with a plate full of all my favourite things to eat and a big cup of tea. I turn my nose up at it all "Vegeta, you are going to eat something, and when you are finished eating something you are going to talk to me, you can't go on like this anymore"

"You wouldn't understand"

"I think I have a pretty good idea what's going on Vegeta, you seem to forget that not only am I beautiful, I'm also a genius"

"Trust me you have no idea what's going on"

"You and Goku are in love, the two of you have been having a secret affair, he called it off about a week ago" how, how could she possibly know all this "that is absurd"

"Yes… it is totally absurd, but true none the less, and you need to talk about it, I don't know if you noticed this but you are not coping too well". I don't know what to say, I suppose there's no point in denying it anymore she obviously wouldn't believe me even if I did, but I'm not sure I'm ready to talk about him either, I look into Bulmas deep blue eyes, I find no anger there, only worry and compassion "why don't you hate me?" I ask truly baffled as to how she can have known I was sleeping with her best friend behind her back and not be even the slightest bit angry with me

"How can I hate you, you know, when I fell for you I was still with yamcha, I know you can't help who you fall for or when. But mostly I can't hate you because I love you Vegeta, and when you love someone you just want to see them happy, I thought you would finally understand that now"

"Yes, I do".

"Do you wanna tell me what happened?"

"I hurt him Bulma, no, I destroyed him. I done what I had to do so that he can move on. So he can keep his son, I looked into his eyes and told him I didn't love him" she nods and hugs me tight, she understands exactly what I mean without any explanation, I suppose that's one of the benefits of having a genius for a wife.

Without a word she gets up and leaves the room, bringing back a bowl of warm water and a flannel, she starts to clean all the dried blood and dirt from the scratches Kakarots nails left on my arms and shoulders. It's quite obvious what these marks are but she asks no questions.

She is an amazing woman, stronger inside than anyone I have ever known. I stare at her, why can't I love her?, my life would be so easy if I could just feel for her what I feel for….I can't even think his name, it's just too painful. She is beautiful, smart, feisty, kind, everything a man could want in a woman but she's just not HIM.

"So, now we have this out in the open, how long have the two of you been doing, whatever it is you do?"

"What do you mean?" I ask confused "well…..do you ya know, go all the way?" she keeps her eyes on my arms as she cleans them "do you really want to know?" I ask flatly, I decide there is no point hiding anything from her, it's not like it will be happening again. I will answer all her questions, she deserves that much. "Yes I do"

"ok if you're sure, yes we went all the way and the first time was when I went on that fishing trip" "oh, so who was, I mean what way round, did you, or did Goku" she stutters over her words "Bulma, are you trying to ask me who fucked who?" I ask bluntly "yes….yes I am" she has a small blush on her face I can tell this conversation is uncomfortable for her but she is too nosey not to ask

"Well, Kakarot was submissive to me, but that doesn't mean I didn't let him any fun, why do you want to know this stuff?"

"I don't know Vegeta, I just want to know, so you took turns then?" I sigh, she's not going to let me get out of answering her questions "no, he only fucked me once"

"Did you…enjoy it?"

"Yes"

"Are you not going to give me any details?"

"For god's sake woman what do you want to know, yes he fucked me, yes it was great, we done it on the beach, he turned super saiyan, it was amazing. Why are you making me talk about this?" "Well for one coz talking will make you feel better and for two I find it kinda hot" she admits sheepishly.

Only Bulma could find her husband getting fucked hot, crude woman. "Really Bulma!" I ask with a little smile. She laughs "a little, but really I just wanted to make you smile, and it worked" she is right as usual, she did make me smile.

My respect for Bulma just grew so much, I know exactly how she must be feeling right now, because I feel the same yet here she is somehow holding herself together, still putting me first. Just like I would do for Kakarot.

I feel horrible for the way I have treated her I have put her through so much pain. When we were together I neglected her, I spoke rudely to her, and I never once loved her. I didn't understand, I had no concept of love, until now.

I have been through a lot in my time and nothing hurt as much as this. Not Freiza's torture, not losing my father, not the destruction of my home planet and the death of my whole race. Who would have thought I could survive all that only to get taken down by a broken heart, what a pansy.

I put my face in my hands and try to pull myself together, hold back the tears. "I don't know what to do Bulma" I admit "he will come back to you, I've never seen the two of you more happy than you have been the last few weeks, and Gohan will come round, he won't want his dad sad, he's a good kid"

"Do you really think he will come back after what I said to him, I was terrible" she looks me in the eye "I give him three days, and he will be back, you are impossible to stay away from, trust me I know. But in the meantime how bout you give me a few more details". I chuckle quietly

"I really hope you are right, I don't think I can survive without him. What do you want to know?"

she gets up on the sofa next to me and makes herself comfortable "tell me everything, when you first started having feelings for him, first kiss, first fuck, who made the first move, when did you first say I love you, everything"

I can tell this is going to be a long day.