I am alive. This story is still alive.

"Hey, Ster." Murco said waving his hand in front of his catatonic friend's face. "Ster. Hello? Erf to Ster?"

"Eh?" Ster asked quietly, barely looking away from the television screen she was currently staring at.

"What is up with you lately? For the past 4 days, all you've done is sit around silently whenever Gustav is home." Murco said letting out a sigh before continuing. "Anyway the fam and I are going to meet Gustavus at Isolation Point for lunch."

"Isolation Point?" Ster asked disinterestedly once she heard Gustavus' name.

"Yep, Isolation Point. Where no one can hear you scream." Murco said pausing for comedic effect. "With enjoyment!"

"Why did Gustavus go ahead of you guys?" Ster asked as the television screen changed from commercials back to the news.

"He said something about having to pick up his secret ingredient and left hours ahead of us." Murco said with a shrug. "Anyway, we're leaving soon so if you want to come now's your chance."

Ster gave a barely noticeable nod as Murco walked away and she returned her full attention to the television screen. The reporter was talking about some boring story about dozens of missing people, nothing too interesting. Soon enough the story changed to something else, apparently there's some kind of magic blonde girl responsible for numerous fatalities at large.

"Hm, wonder who that could be. I thought I was the only magic girl on Erf." Ster mumbled to herself before something finally clicked in her mind. "Wait a minute, Gustavus is a creep… and he needed to gather ingredients away from the Deez'... AND THERE'S DOZENS OF PEOPLE GOING MISSING AROUND TOWN! OH NO!"

Ster sprinted outside only to find the Deez' already strapped into the car and pulling out of the driveway. Despite Ster's frantic screaming and waving of her arms the Deez family completely ignored her and drove away faster than what was probably the legal speed limit. After fruitlessly chasing the car for several seconds she finally got fed up and jumped onto the hood of a car that was driving towards her.

"GET OUT OF THE FUCKING CAR!" Ster screamed maniacally as the terrified man inside slammed on his breaks. "OUT! RIGHT NOW!"

"Okay, okay!" The man shouted quickly unbuckling his seat belt and throwing the door open. "Wait a second, I recognize you from the news! You're that alien girl!"

"No witnesses!" Ster shouted blasting the man with a deathly rainbow beam from her trusty magic wand. Ster threw herself into the metal death trap and slammed her foot on one of the pedals. Murco had explained to her once how these so called 'cars' work, but it was all a bunch of sciency mumbo-jumbo to her and she only remembered something about pedals. "I'M COMING MURCO!"

Wildly spinning the mystical control wheel of the metal monster Ster spun the car around and began zooming down the street. She spotted the Deez' car slowly meandering down the road and couldn't figure out how to stop the rolly wheels of the metal doodlybob. Bracing herself for impact she cast a protective barrier around her body as the car slammed into the rear end of the Deez' family car.

"Waaaah!" Ster screamed in terror as she was ejected from the vehicle and launched through the front windshield, back windshield, and then front windshield of both her and the Deez' cars respectively.

"Whoa! What the heck was that!?" Murco shouted as Mr. Deez slammed his foot onto the breaks so hard he snapped his ankle.

"I think something hit us!" Mrs. Deez shouted looking behind her seat.

Ster stumbled to her feet a good 30 yards (27.432 meters) from the wreck and saw the Deez' getting out of their monster machine and quickly hid behind a mailbox. She overheard them talking about the accident and cringed at the words they spoke.

"Isn't that Mr. Jones' car from down the block?"

"Yeah, I wonder where he went. Weird how the car just hit us and no one's inside of it."

"Maybe one of his five children was with them and they got out and he had to chase them?"

"No, I'm sure his loving wife would have stayed if that were the case."

Tiptoeing away from the scene of the crime before any more unwanted guilt could enter her mind Ster blocked out their words. Once she was out of earshot she began sprinting in the direction the car was headed, isolation point shouldn't be too hard to find, right? Luckily for her it wasn't, being situated on a mountain and all, but it was strange as she had never noticed the ominous mountain before today.

"Must be plot convenience." Ster said to herself with a shrug as she kicked the sign pointing towards isolation point so that the arrow pointed to the opposite path. "Best to be safe, don't want them seeing what I do to our good friend Gustav."

Using her super amazing magical powers to transform her wand into a historical Municipality battle sword she embarked on her epic quest. It wasn't very hard to locate Gustavus, he left a bloody trail of blood leading to his bloody hands and the bloody axe his hands were clenched around. He was covered in blood and blood dripped down the blade and handle of the axe, blood was everywhere.

"Gustavus Adolphus the Fourteenth!" Ster shouted grabbing his attention and startling him. "Your time in this universe is at an end!"

"Oh? Is that a fact?" Gustav asked in a perfect American accent. "And who exactly is going to end my stint in this wonderful universe?"

"I am! Ster Butforfly the First, princess of Municipality and leader of the Municipality Intergalactic Invasion Force!" Ster shouted, her voice booming throughout the entire forest as grey storm clouds rolled in.

"Princess? Intergalactic Invasion Force?" Gustav asked with a hearty laugh as he swung his axe and rested it on his shoulder. "At least try and come up with something original!"

"Oh, you think this is a joke?" Ster asked laughing as she started levitating off the ground. "The real joke is you, Gustav."

"You don't scare me, little girl." Gustav said tightening his grip on the axe handle and preparing himself for a fight.

"I don't want to scare you." Ster said raising her sword into the battle stance her father had taught her. "I just want to kill you."

Ster propelled herself forwards at breakneck speeds and swung her sword at the false-nordic man who effortlessly dodged her attack. Rolling to his feet he dodged her second swing before swinging his axe in a counterattack that Ster barely managed to block. Kicking him backwards she separated their blades before immediately swinging down and cutting across his chest.

"Agh, you little bitch! I'm going to turn you into ground beef!"

Easily dodging the four swings Gustav retaliated with Ster raised her sword high using her magical prowess to give the swing a little more oomph. The sword sliced clean through the wooden handle of Gustav's axe making his weapon useless.

"That was solid oak!"

"You better hope you aren't made of the same weak material." Ster responded striking forwards violently with Gustav barely managing to dodge her assault.

"You may be stronger, but I know these woods better than mother nature!" Gustav shouted as he bolted into the thick brush surrounding the clearing their battle was taking place in.

"GUSTAV!" Ster yelled as she fired herself after him with the speed of a bullet. "FACE YOUR DEATH WITH SOME COURAGE, YOU COWARD!"

"Come and find me, princess!" Gustav called out mockingly as Ster searched through the thicket he had ran into. Ster sliced through branches as she searched for the cannibalistic murderer posing as a highschool student. "You know, it occurs to me that you never actually tried my meatballs."

Ster cut down a tree in the direction the voice had come from. "Meatballs are for cowards! A real warrior eats their meat whole!"

"It's a shame, if you had just tried one you'd realise how good they were."

"I'll never eat the flesh of my people!" Ster cut down another tree between her and the voice.

"Murco just loves my balls." Gustav laughed. "He likes my food too!"

"You bastard!" Ster shouted slicing through the final tree between her and two barrels of a shotgun. Gustav immediately pulled both triggers firing both shells into the warrior princess sending her backwards several feet and crashing her face-first into the dirt. Gustav chuckled to himself as he tossed aside the spent shells and loaded in new pair. "Alien princess? Bah! You'll die just like any Erf girl."

"Y-You…" Ster sputtered out as Gustav stood above her.

"Goodbye, Ster." Gustav said shouldering his shotgun and aiming down at her. "I'll be sure to let Murco have the first taste of your batch."

"You… should have gone…" Ster struggled to speak. "For the head."

"Huh?"

Ster rolled onto her back and stabbed her sword into Gustav's chest causing his arms to lurch to the side as the shotgun was fired. Unable to handle the recoil with only one hand the firearm was knocked from his hand and fell to the dirt as Gustav struggled to stay standing. Falling to his knees and impaling himself further on her sword Gustav looked at Ster in fear and astonishment.

"H-How…?" Gustav asked coughing painfully.

Ster got to her feet revealing the glowing wound in her torso to her dying foe. "I'm stronger than you could ever have imagined, Gustav." Ster thrust the sword further through his chest causing him to cry out in pain. "Your fate was sealed the moment you stepped foot into my house."

Gustav gasped as Ster quickly withdrew her sword and booted him backwards. Returning her wand to its normal shape she cast one final look at the pathetic man lying in front of her. She scoffed and uttered a mocking "Goodbye, Gustav." as she turned on her heel and strutted away.

Well, hot damn. I actually managed to write another chapter after nearly an entire year since the last. There is no reasonable excuse for not updating for so long, especially after promising to up my game in the last chapter. Regardless, I bow my head humbly and ask for forgiveness from the… like four people who will be returning readers.

To all the new readers who just saw this today, welcome to the ultimate Star VS shitpost. I tried to make this chapter serious, at least more than the previous chapters, and I hope I did a good job. With Star VS officially coming to an end I got a burst of inspiration to continue my story, now that there's an actual end game to work towards.

As always feel free to flame, berate, insult and mock me in the reviews.