Ch. 10

"Frigga?" I asked confused, as I stepped into my room. "Shouldn't you be with-"

"Odin? Yes, I suppose I should be. However, I had other, more important business to discuss with you. To start with, I'd like to know your opinion on my son."

"Which one?"

Frigga smiled, "Loki. How is he?"

I sighed, "I honestly don't think he's doing very well right now. But I'm trying my best to be there for him every step of the way."

Frigga smiled again, "As I know you always will be. Sigyn, in the time ahead of us I fear that I may not be able to reach out to Loki. It seems as though his anger towards Odin may get the better of him. Can you promise me that you won't leave his side?"

"Of course! I will always love him."

"I know you will, but that doesn't mean you're always on his side. What I'm asking for you to do is much more difficult than you realize. I fear that there will be a time when Loki is not the man he is today or last year. He will be unrecognizable- perhaps violent and cruel. I am asking you to stay by his side no matter your belief. Even if you are against his ideas, his dreams, stay by his side. That way I will always know he is in good hands. I know if anyone can save him from himself it will be you."

My heartbeat sped up. Did Frigga know something? "This is a very serious thing to agree to."

"And it may be hard to stick with." Frigga looked anxious.

I thought about what she said. One day Loki may not be the man he is today? Or last year? Or the person I grew up with? My best friend? The only man I've ever loved? I pictured him in my mind. Him and I in the garden, my head on his legs. The sun shining gloriously on his perfect face. His black hair slicked back as usual, his green eyes sparkling with mischief as he gazed down at me. His thin lips stretched into a grin. Then, the skies turn dark, almost black. His eyes harden, his long fingers seize my hair and his playful grin turns into an ugly, cruel grin.

I blink my eyes quickly trying to get that mental image out of my head. "I'll do it."

"You will?" The surprise was hard to miss.

"Yes, I will."

Tears filled Frigga's eyes, "You know I think of you as my daughter, don't you?"

"I've thought of you as my mother since I was eleven years old."

"No matter what we feel though, I'm afraid, I'm not your mother, and I think it's time your real mother met the beautiful, independent woman you've become. I'll see you later, Sigyn." Frigga stood up and kissed my forehead before leaving. Right as the door closed, my mother appeared on the bed.

I wasn't sure whether to be happy or upset. Should I be mad? Should I be sad? Or should I be happy? Should it be relief that I felt? If so, my emotions couldn't decide. They were all jumbled up into an intricate ball of confusion.

I narrowed my eyes at the woman sitting on my bed. She hadn't aged a single day all those years ago. It felt like centuries to me, but based on how she looks, she clearly lost no sleep over it. "What are you doing here?"

The woman stood up. She was wearing the typical Valkyrie outfit. Short, brown pants, belt, amulet, sports bra, sandals and weapon. Her skin was a copper brown, probably from all the sunlight she received. Her thick, dark hair cascaded down her back, straight as a pin. Her dark, unreadable, eyes traveled up my body and back down in a silent judgment. For a second, her thin lips stayed in a line, before they curved upwards into a smile showing her teeth. "Can't a mother come see her daughter?"

"What do you want?" I bit out, almost immediately.

She waved her hang in the air, "I simply wanted to come check on my daughter. To see how she's doing."

"You're not my mother." The words came out weak, pathetic.

"Nonsense! You are Sigyn, and I am Freya. It may be years since I've seen you in person - and I'll admit, you were quite tiny back then - but I know my daughter when I see her."

I felt as if something inside of me had clicked or snapped. "Listen, Freya, you are not my mother. I don't care if you gave birth to me, you didn't raise me. What, eight years is long enough for me to forget the other 12 that you weren't here? No, it isn't. Can you even-"

"Sigyn, that's why I'm here. I would like to take the time to explain to you exactly where I've been. Then, you can have at it. After I've let you know why I left you, you can yell at me all you like. And I will respect whatever decision you make on letting me stay in your life or not. However, I do come with a warning. And no matter your decision, you will hear my warning before I leave. Am I understood?"

"You don't get to come in here and pretend like you didn't miss out on half of my life. I don't have to listen to you. Get out. I'm not going to ask again."

"You sure? You really don't want to know why I wasn't here?"

I sighed, I really did want to know. "Fine. But make it fast."

"Thank you." She looked around the room before gesturing back at my bed, "May I sit down?" I shrugged. "Great! Now, let's start at the beginning? Years and years ago, I was to be made the Queen of Valhalla and all the Valkyries and warriors that resided there. I was all set to be coronated and everything. However, I got pregnant. I had you. I managed to postpone my coronation and instead raised you. Years later, I was contacted. They'd waited long enough. I begged and pleaded for ten more years, until you were eighteen and on your own. They wouldn't allow it." She looked down, as though retelling the story caused her pain.

"So, I took you to the Allfather. He was a great friend of mine, him and his wife both. I trusted them. That day, while you met Loki and Thor, I was talking with them. I explained to them the situation and they responded as desired. They volunteered to watch over you and to keep you safe. They promised to provide for you a healthy and happy life. I knew it would hurt too much to tell you everything- you were only eight. You probably wouldn't have even understood what I was telling you. After thanking Odin and Frigga, I left." A few tears trailed down her cheeks slowly.

"I'm so sorry Sigyn, so sorry. I know I should've told you, I can't imagine how you must've felt. But I'm back now. And I promise I can be the mother you want. They mother you deserve, if you'll just let me."

I turned my head, unable to look into her pleading eyes. I knew I'd immediately cave in and tell her that I wanted her in my life too. I did, of course, I just wasn't sure that I should. Would she do the same thing to me? Abandon me again.

"I don't think I can let you. You've missed out on more than half of my life! I don't know you. To me, you're just the woman that gave me life. Do you even know me? Can you tell me anything about myself that a mother should know?"

"I remember that your favorite color was gold, you said it always reminded you of the sun rising in the morning. That's when you want to be married- in the morning, with the sun rising in the background. I know you've taken up the habit of fighting, and that you're actually pretty good at it. I know that when you love a person, you love them with everything in you. You're biggest feature is loyalty. I know that if you have ever cared for someone, you always will no matter what. Lastly, and probably most significant, I know how you feel about Loki."

I hadn't expected her to remember those things, I'd told her them a long time ago. "How do you know how I feel about Loki?"

"I've been watching over you, Sigyn. And that's what I've come to warn you about. There are dark things happening. Terrible things. Because of Loki. That man will bring nothing but heartbreak, trouble and pain your way."

I flinched, as if I'd been slapped. "You don't even know him. And if you're so sure that he's bringing bad things why are you only telling me now? I've loved him for years."

"Because his actions are only now coming into play. He may seem troubled now, but soon he will be much, much more than just a prankster. He will become a man you won't recognize anymore."

Anger coursed through my veins, "You don't know him! How can you possibly say such cruel things about a man you don't know?"

"I've seen him Sigyn. I know what he's done. We all know that Thor must come home, even Loki knows it. Thor is the rightful king. But Loki has taken it upon himself to make sure Thor will never return. I bet he hasn't told you that. Did he even tell you he's a Frost Giant? Yes, Sigyn, your beloved Loki is one of those monstrosities."

"I know. He's admitted all of this to me."

Freya looked shocked. "Has he now? Did he also tell you that he will do any means necessary to make sure Thor doesn't return home? Even if it means killing him. And your friends have just gone to retrieve him. You don't think they're just sending Thor to his doom? I know you love him, but even your love isn't strong enough to stop him from doing this. Loki's been wanting this for a long time. He's just now doing it. Besides, didn't you just run from him? That's as good as rejection. We both know what rejection could do. You, the one person who's loved him and stuck by him, just turned their back on him. That's enough to drive anyone over the edge."

As I thought about her words, I realized she was right. Tears fell from my eyes, loud sobs erupting from my lips. "How can you do this? How can you come here and expect to turn me against him? I love Loki. I don't care what he does, no matter how horrible. I will always be there for him. I will always be on his side. I am always going to be there for him. You want to know why? Because when you were gone, he was there. When I was having nightmares about you, he held me while I cried. When I admitted to missing you, he was the one listening. He was always there for me, whenever I needed him. And now, he needs me. So I'm going to be there for him."

I walked out of the room briskly, on my way to Odin's room, where I expected Loki to be. Halfway through the hall I felt someone grab my wrist. Thinking it was my mother, I swirled around, "Don't touch me- Loki?" I gasped in surprise.

There he stood, his beautiful green eyes looking at me, his mouth in a straight line. Loki stepped back, his hands up in surrender, "Retract the claws."