Chapter Ten: Making a Memory

"You know that's a little creepy, right?" Courtney's voice broke Nikolas out of his reverie. Her eyes were still closed, and he hadn't realized she was awake.

"What's 'creepy'?" Nikolas smiled as he repeated the phrase.

"You watching me sleep like that," Courtney opened her eyes at last to find him just as she'd expected. He was turned towards her, propped up on one elbow, staring at her.

"I like watching you sleep," Nikolas murmured pushing himself up from his elbow and twisting his torso he braced himself above her with one arm while he used his free hand to brush a lock of hair off of Courtney's cheek before bending closer to kiss her. "I like having you here, in my bed, being able to look at you whenever I want. You look so beautiful," he was bracing himself with both hands now, his legs tangling with Courtney's as he loomed over her.

"Like I said," Courtney whispered the words against his lips as he leaned closer to kiss her again, "creepy."

"I'm a Cassadine," Nikolas acknowledged as he pushed himself away falling back on the bed next to her, "I think 'creepy' is in my DNA and being here brings it out," he sighed. "I apologize if I made you uncomfortable."

"You don't make me uncomfortable, Nikolas." Courtney's soft assurance caught Nikolas by surprise, the teasing smile that followed didn't, "I knew about the creepiness factor when I got involved with you and I don't mind it."

"Good to know."

"Besides," her voice softened, "I like that you like looking at me."

"I do like looking at you," Nikolas repeated, "but there are other things I like doing more." This time Nikolas's mouth found hers with greater purpose as his hands slipped under the silky material of her pajamas.

"Nikolas," Courtney sighed his name as her arms came up to wrap around his neck, one hand threading in his hair as she gave herself up to his touch . . .

Some time later:

"Thank you for bringing me here," sitting on a stone bench looking out at the water Courtney leaned back into Nikolas's arms, "I know you have a lot of work to do today."

"Nothing that can't wait," Nikolas assured her, resting his chin on the crown of her head as he watched the waves crashing before them. "I wanted to bring you here now, while you could still manage the walk." Courtney was just beginning her second trimester and she still felt healthy, but the doctor had already warned them that it wouldn't be long before she had to go on bed rest to optimize her chances of a successful pregnancy.

"My uncle used to bring me here when I was young," Nikolas began to speak again after a few minutes of silence. "We would spend hours at a time watching the ocean. He told me once that this was my mother's favorite place on the island," the time since his death had mellowed Nikolas's resentment towards Stefan, leaving him with the memories of the small moments between them and of his uncle's unwavering love and support.

"Of course," he continued ruefully, "I didn't find out until much later that this is where he used to meet my mother in secret while they hid their affair from my father." This was the first time Nikolas had come to the cove in more than ten years – since he learned the whole truth of his mother's relationships with his uncle and his father. In the visits he had made to the island since then he had avoided this spot, but today he'd felt the need to bring Courtney here. Perhaps he was also hoping to purge some of the lingering bitterness over the lie that was his childhood, but for the most part finally understood why his uncle had returned to this spot so faithfully over the years. Here Stefan could hold on to the memory of his love for Laura. Watching Courtney sleep this morning, Nikolas had known that he needed to bring her here, to build at least one memory of her in this place that was so much a part of his history – he needed a memory that he would be able to revisit when he came here.

"Your mother had an affair with your uncle?" Courtney's startled question broke into Nikolas's thoughts before he could lose himself in his worries.

"Oh yes," he murmured into her hair, "I forget that you don't really know my family history." Nikolas sighed, "The whole thing was embarrassingly public when it came out, so I tend to assume everyone knows, but it was before you came to Port Charles, and it's not really something that people bring up in casual conversation."

"Alright, I get that it's probably not your favorite topic of conversation," Courtney said turning to look up at him after he lapsed back into silence, "but you can't just leave me hanging like that. I'm going to need a story here."

"Hmm. . ." Nikolas considered the request for a moment before acquiescing. "The short version then," he said, "the full family history can wait for another time." It was too beautiful a day to spend recounting the sordid history of the Cassadine family in its entirety – Stavros's resurrection could certainly wait for another occasion, but Stefan and Laura – where better than the cove to tell their story?

"My father was a monster, and my mother was miserable here," Nikolas spoke the painful truth about his parents for the first time in years. "This island was her prison and my father was both her jailer and her tormentor. She married him because he promised to protect her from Helena, who had kidnapped her and brought her here – she found out too late that he at least as great a threat as Helena. By the time she found that out she was his wife – to his mind, his property – to do with as he pleased."

"My uncle . . ." Nikolas struggled to find words to explain the man who had been the very foundation of his life, "Stefan was the younger son, as such he was as trapped by the Cassadine family as Laura was, maybe more so. He fell in love with his brother's wife and, she – I don't know what motivated Laura, I've never been able to understand the choices that she made – she found comfort with him, I guess."

"Things . . . took their natural course and my uncle spent most of my life believing that he was probably my father and pretending not to be. In the end, DNA tests confirmed that he was my uncle and Stavros was my father," Nikolas concluded well aware that he was leaving out significant details, but none that needed mentioning at this point.

Courtney continued to stare at him for a long moment after he finished the story. "Your family is seriously screwed up," she said at last, "you know that right?"

"You don't know the half of it," Nikolas laughed, relieved at her accurate but nevertheless lighthearted response, "remind me to tell you about my grandfather's weather machine some time."

Turning back around to face the ocean as she leaned back into Nikolas's embrace, Courtney let the sound of the waves mix with the sound of Nikolas breathing. She would ask Nikolas about his grandfather another day, today the sun was shining, the view was beautiful and she was safe in the arms of the man she loved.

"It's amazing," she broke the silence a few minutes later, "how time and circumstances can change everything."

"You mother was miserable here and this island was her prison, but for me – it's – I feel safe here, Nikolas. I don't remember the last time I felt this safe."

"And maybe it's an illusion, because your psycho grandmother or some other relative could show up at any time or . . ." Courtney's 'or' went unsaid; she refused to even speak that possibility out loud. "But despite all that, I feel safe here, safe with you."

"I promised you paradise," Nikolas reminded her. "I can't promise it'll last forever, but while we're here I can keep you safe." From everyone except yourself. He could protect her from his family and her brother's enemies, from his ex-wife and her soon-to-be ex-husband, but not from the betrayal of her own body or her stubborn refusal to accept the advice of her doctors. Every day that passed Courtney fell more in love with the child she was carrying and the odds of her own survival dropped and there was nothing that Nikolas could do about that – he had promised to support her choice and she had made it.

"Come on," Nikolas wasn't going to let himself get weighted down by his fears, not today and not here. He had brought her here to make a memory with her, a memory of her that would last forever. He stood quickly and drawing her to her feet led her down to the water.

"You once told me that when you were young you would walk on the beach and dream about all of the other shores the ocean touched," he reminded her. "Well, this is one of those shores you were dreaming of, is it how you imagined it?"

"It's so much better," Courtney whispered looking up at him now instead of out across the water as she had done in Atlantic City, "because I never could have imagined you."

"And you," Courtney asked. "You said that you had the same dreams, but this is the beach you must have been walking on then. You could be on any of those other beaches now, but you came back."

"It wasn't the beach I was trying to get away from," Nikolas remembered, "or even really the island. . . I was lonely here. I thought if I was somewhere else, maybe I wouldn't be alone."

"Now you're here with me; that's all I can ask for."

A/N: I apologize for the long delay and for the fact that this chapter is ridiculously sappy – that's not going to become a trend. Hopefully the long delays are over. I can't promise that but I can promise that this story hasn't been and won't be abandoned.

I also want to offer a special thanks to kaibre for the review/gentle reminder that there is actually someone out there who liked this story and maybe wouldn't mind seeing the rest of it, hopefully this won't disappoint.