All of your reviews are so lovely :( I wish I could respond to all of them, but I'm such an awkward turtle! So here's a little thank you for all of the wonderful reviews everyone has sent my way. I promise to make the best out of this story for you guys! :D
"You didn't." Katara gaped at Zuko in shock, her hands covering her lips.
"I did," Zuko confirmed after recounting his tale, smirking at her. "I really did,"
"What did your father say?" Katara asked curiously, leaning in forward to hear him better; their voices were low, their tones hushed as they exchanged stories, feeling as if they were confined within the walls of a full, crowded room- but in the field stood no one; only the two of them, their whispers, and the sunflowers that surrounded them below the shadows that branched from the tree.
Zuko's face tilted into a frown before he continued. "Nothing. He didn't say anything. Didn't even acknowledge that I was there." He said, playing with his hands now. "I guess because it was pretty stupid. Stealing your father's cape and showing up in front of the Fire Sages like that—it was stupid," he repeated. "My mother laughed, though, when she saw me. But she told me not to do it again."
"How old were you?" Katara asked, genuinely curious.
"I was five." Zuko answered, smiling towards her. "I liked playing around with my parents' stuff back then, especially my mother's Kabuki masks. She used to be part of a troop of actors, back in her hometown before she met my father."
"What was she like?"
Zuko raised a brow teasingly. "That's not fair. It's your turn."
"What?" Katara huffed, feigning shock. "Fine." She said, crossing her arms together. "I have a secret about my dad, too." And Zuko gestured for her to continue, nodding as he smiled.
"When I was a little girl, a few of our tribesmen came to our house to meet up, to plan their strategies for the war." She explained, casually waving her hands around. "My mother cooked sea prunes for them, and before they arrived my dad told us to behave, and to dress well, you know? For formality's sake. He kept forcing me to wear this dumb dress with small shells at the sleeves, and it itched like crazy."
"What did you do?" Zuko asked. Katara began to chuckle as she continued.
"I wore the dress." She shrugged, but smiled vindictively afterwards. "But when the men came for dinner, I was so upset at my dad for forcing me to wear it that I purposely spilled a bowl of the sea prunes on his lap during the meeting."
Zuko began to fall into a fit of laughter, and Katara smiled, proud of herself as she nodded her head. "That's right," she said.
"That's insane," Zuko replied, his eyes slightly widening. "Where was Sokka when all of this happened?" Katara rolled her eyes.
"He was sitting on the table with the tribesmen, pretending to be part of the meet-up. He likes to feel important like that," she joked. "He pretended to get mad at me too, and told me off right after. I think everyone in the room cooed at him. He was five, and I was three."
Zuko shook his head in amusement, smiling at the thought of Katara's antics. In turn, she sighed, and pushed Zuko lightly on the shoulder.
"Okay, it's your turn again." She said, grinning. "What was your mother like?"
Zuko smiled warmly, reminiscing. "She was beautiful," he began, staring down at his shoes. "We used to feed the turtleducks every weekend, like a sort of ritual. She had really long, black hair that flowed up to her waist. When were a lot younger, Azula and I used to play together and hide ourselves in my mother's hair."
Katara looked at him sadly at the mention of his sister, trying to search his eyes. "I didn't know you two used to get along like that," she said. "Do you miss how you used to be, you and Azula?" She asked, softly.
Zuko gave her a stern look, and went back to staring at his shoes. "Pass," he said, and Katara nodded gently.
"Sokka and I wouldn't always agree on things, but surprisingly… he approved of Aang," she recounted, letting out a deep breath. "I guess it's because they're really good friends. He's gained his trust."
Zuko searched Katara's pools of blue again, looking for answers; they were empty. "What happened to you two? I thought you were doing alright?"
She fell silent, leaning against the acacia again as she stared into the sky. Zuko frowned. "It's okay," he said. "You can pass,"
"No," Katara answered, opening her eyes. "No I—I wanna get it off my chest. I've never talked to anyone about this, and it feels… heavy, like it's been dragging me down."
Zuko placed a hand on her shoulder, gesturing for her to stop if she felt uncomfortable, but she slid his hand away from her. "It's okay," she said, giving off a sad smile. "Really, it is."
"Aang and I—" She began, sighing. "I loved Aang. At least, I think I did, you know? He made me feel good about myself, showered me with all sorts of encouraging and loving words, praises, gifts—but for some reason, I—I don't know, Zuko. It didn't feel right. I was lying to myself. I settled too soon, and the moment that I realized what I was doing, I knew we had to break it off.
It felt like I was being choked, but without me knowing, or acknowledging it; like inwardly, I had a duty that I had to prioritize before anything else. He's the last airbender, and he didn't want anyone else but me. At least that's what he made it seem like," she said, staring off into the distance. "I don't want to talk about him that way, because he loved me so much. And I think I did, too. It's just that—I didn't love him as much as he loved me. It wasn't the same, not at all,"
Zuko nodded, understanding. "To be honest I— with Mai, I-" He started, but shook his head, deciding against it.
"With Mai, you what?" Katara asked, leaning in forward again. Their voices were hushed for a second time. "You can tell me anything, you know." She reminded him. "But if you want to pass again, it's okay—"
"That's not fair," he smiled before continuing. "Tit for tat, quid pro quo, a secret for a secret."
Zuko breathed out heavily, now leaning his back against the tree as well. "I don't know what I felt about Mai," he confided. "I mean, yeah, I loved her. I did. But there would be times when—" He paused, looking at Katara who was staring straight into his golden eyes. "There would be times when I would feel it wasn't worth it anymore, too. It was impossible to understand her. I tried to make her happy, but I—I honestly don't know if anyone's really capable of doing that. Spirits, I feel horrible for even saying it." He breathed. "Mai was so a wonderful at first, and it was like a wonderful challenge that the spirits gave me. Everything was so exciting. I thought it was going to be worth it, winning her heart." Zuko said sadly. "But after a while I felt like I was chasing pavements. There was nothing waiting for me at the end. I was fighting a losing battle. And I wanted to tell her that, because I wanted for both me and her to be honest, no secrets. But after I did, we just ended up in a screaming match. And we both knew then that we needed to stop trying."
Katara put a hand on his knee. "I'm so sorry, Zuko—"
"It's fine" he replied, staring off into the distance. "It's nice to finally confide in someone about all of this. I'm glad it's you," he confessed before turning his head towards Katara again. "Your turn, now."
"I'm glad it's you too," she said, smiling warmly. "And that's my secret. I find it so strange. I never thought we'd be friends, you know? It's so strange how everything's turned out. I used to hate you so much," she chuckled.
"I used to hate me so much, too," Zuko snickered.
"But did you ever hate me as much as I hated you?" Katara cocked an eyebrow, curious. Zuko scratched his head.
"I don't know, I—I never really thought about it that way," he responded. "I don't think I did."
"Why not? I was Public Enemy Number One, next to Aang," she shrugged. "It's fine, Zuko. You can tell me, I promise I won't take it against you. War Hero's honor."
Zuko locked his gaze at her before he continued. "I think that's my secret too, then." he said. "The secret is… I don't think I actually ever hated you. All I knew was that capturing the three of you was my drive for the longest time. That I needed to have Aang, you, and Sokka captive for my father. But to be honest I don't think I could say—I don't- I don't think I ever really hated you," he repeated. "Not really,"
Katara burst into a fit of soft laughter, and Zuko's eyebrows creased, frowning. "What?" He accused. "What's the deal?"
"Nothing," she breathed in the middle of her gentle giggles. "It's just—I don't know. I find it funny, for some reason. For the longest time I thought we both hated each other," she said after calming herself down. "But I'm not taking it back," she said proudly. "I'm not even gonna lie. I hated you. With a fiery passion."
Zuko beamed at her. "That's good. I probably deserve that," he said. "Your turn."
Katara suddenly fell silent, her lips twisting into a slight scowl before looking away.
"Why?" Zuko asked, searching her eyes again, trying to lighten up the mood. "Do you want to pass? I still have a bunch of childhood secrets up in line, if you want to."
She shook her head slowly. "It's just that—I find it so silly. We fought together. And you and I, we've been through so much, and I remember—" She stammered, tears starting to well up in her eyes. "I remember the war again. The comet. How you— you didn't have to do that, you idiot-" Katara tried to hide her frown, a tear beginning to trickle down her cheek. Zuko held her hand tightly. "Pass," she said. But he only held her hand tighter.
"Okay," Zuko whispered. "My turn," and he laced his fingers into hers before continuing.
"I thought—I thought I was going to die that day," Zuko said, and another tear began to flow down Katara's cheek, both of them looking up at the night sky. "I thought I was going to be a goner for sure. But to be honest, I didn't care,"
She slowly turned her head to look at him now, curious as she cocked an eyebrow.
"I didn't care if I was going to die, or if I was going to make it out of there alive," Zuko repeated as he stared off towards the foliage from the tree above them. "I didn't care, as long as you were."
She began to grip his hand tighter as they stayed in that position, their backs against the lower trunk of the acacia, facing the stars on the horizon. Katara blinked her tears away before looking up at him; Zuko was calm and completely collected as he confessed. His breathing was steady. He blinked a few times as well before turning to face her, but Katara had shifted from her place, scooting nearer towards him on the grass before she gently rested her head on the crook of his neck. Zuko returned the gesture, leaning his head on top of hers.
"You didn't have to do that for me," Katara murmured, and Zuko held her, unconsciously caressing her hair as she blinked the last of her tears away from her eyes. He let out a snicker.
"I would do it again, and that's the other secret." he confessed. "I would do it a hundred times more if I had to."
Katara buried her head further into his neck, and he held her tighter, tracing circles on her arm with his thumb. She bit her lip, staring up at him; in the years that she'd known him, Katara was never one to notice these little things about Zuko. How his shaggy, black hair flowed elegantly down to his face, emphasizing his perfect jaw; his pale skin like porcelain, but soft like silk. And the scar that marked him, the scarlet protruding like fire…
She breathed out gently before opening her mouth again. "My secret is that—and mine can't be tonight's last secret—is that-" She stammered before continuing, slightly embarrassed. "That I've never felt safer with anyone else but you."
Zuko smiled, sitting up so that he faced her. He let out a heavy sigh, still holding her in one arm. She looked up at him as he beamed at her again, and without hesitation, planted a soft kiss on her forehead. Katara's mouth was now slightly agape, trying to hide her grin as she blushed.
"That's my secret," he said as he leaned his head back against the trunk. "That's my last secret."
This chapter is my favorite one so far, I shit you not. The feels are real. Let me know what you think!
