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10. Rescued

TOBIAS

I don't wait for the train to slow before jumping off, and I tear through the forest. It's still, like death, yet I barely hear the sound of my own heavy breathing or the thundering of the ground as my feet crash into it. I am deaf with fright. Or maybe my heart is beating so loudly that I just can't manage to hear anything else.

Above me, the sky is bright, cloudless, and my path through the trees lit by the moon. I stiffen when up ahead I see the silhouette of a body spread out across the grass in front of a large tree. I slow my stride as I approach it, only to see two more tumbled bodies next to it. They're all dead.

I advance slowly, cautiously. This could not have happened more than an hour ago. I don't hear or see anyone, but there might still be soldiers lurking around, and I'm unarmed.

I peer over the body and I see a face that I recognize all too well, a face that I've come to loathe ever since my initiation. It is a pity that I did not get to end him myself. Whoever Eric cornered by this tree got the best of him, and his little friends too.

Tris. She got away, I think.

Tris is the only person I know that's both smart and fast enough to have done this. Still, my eyes search my surroundings in panic. I have no idea where she is or where she could have gone. This forest is immense and there's no way I can search all of it, although that won't stop me from trying.

I take Eric's gun and I race toward the camp, navigating through the trees. From the distance I can see people walking around, comforting each other. Most of the orange tents have been overturned. I see some of the Abnegation refugees and some of the Amity, but not one Dauntless traitor in sight. I scan the faces as I hurry past them, horror written on every single one. I don't know exactly what happened here but I'm too frantic to stop and ask. I don't see Tris or Rae or David or Charity. Could they have all escaped together somehow?

I sprint toward my tent, Tris' tent, our tent. The place where we've spent our most intimate moments. The place where she first told me that she loved me. What if she doesn't remember that she told me that? What if she doesn't remember that I'm the father of our baby? What if she doesn't remember me at all? The thought is crippling yet it wills me to get to her and my feet untiringly propel me forward. They have memorized the path and I cut through the camp quickly.

As I come within sight of the tent I see two men standing just outside of it. They don't belong. One is dressed in a white Candor shirt and Dauntless pants, while the other is dressed in no specific faction colour. They look rugged. Factionless.

There's a white sheet covering a long, slender body laid beside the tent. Whoever it is, it's not Tris and that's as much as I want to know right now. Both men stand up straighter as they see me approaching.

"Tobias?" One of them asks. They've been expecting me. Evelyn must have sent them here. She must have known about the attack. I don't consider for even a second that my mother is concerned for my safety.

"Yes," I say harshly as I push aside the front curtain and scan the four corners of the tent, pacing inside of it, too full of manic energy to stay still. But Tris isn't inside.

"She's not here," one of the factionless men points out. My head instantly swings around and my eyes lock on his.

"Where is she? Is she ok?" I demand, and I feel like I'm holding a live wire, my hands twitching and my thoughts frantic.

"Tris was ok," he says. "Evelyn took her back to the factionless to deliver the baby. I don't think they got to her. But when we got to the camp everyone here kept talking about some storm..." His voice fades out though he continues speaking, and I don't hear the last part.

Tris is having the baby. Suddenly I'm aware of my own heartbeat.

"Was she alone?" I ask hastily. I'm not sure if I interrupted him. But I don't want to waste any more time here.

"When we found her, yeah," he says. "But there was a little girl. I don't remember her name."

"Rae," I say.

"Yeah, that's her," he says, and some of my tension disappears. I quickly scan the frantic crowd one more time looking for David and Charity.

"There are some bodies by the edge of the camp if you're looking for someone specific," the other factionless man says. "There are only a few dead. I guess those are the ones who tried to run. You know this one?" He lifts the white sheet to reveal a face and suddenly I feel horrible for not caring who was under it. "We found his body along a path about a mile out," he says.

David.

"Yeah, I do."

In that moment I feel a stifling oppression in my chest. David is - was - a friend and he was Rae's father. How do you tell an eight year old girl that she's an orphan? As fake as it was, I grieved for my mother all the years I thought she was dead and it devastated me.

I go to check the other bodies and to my relief none of them is Charity. All that means is that she could still be alive, but if she's not at the camp or with Tris then I have no idea where she is.

Together, the two men and I make our way to the factionless safe house. I don't wait for the train. I push the sleeves of my shirt up to my elbows and I run. My muscles burn but I push through it. Everything rushes past me in a blur. Trees, roads, buildings, all blended together, until we arrive at an old, abandoned brick building, only it's not abandoned. What I see is definitely strange, but it doesn't surprise me. My mother did tell me that the factionless were coming together, that night when she chose to reveal her existence to me.

The men lead me through an old boiler room with metal machinery. It's warm and it smells like rust. We head to the back of it where I see my mother leaning against a large, square, wooden table. An old chandelier with several missing light bulbs dangles above her head.

We have not spoken since she left the camp all those months ago, but I waste no time with pleasantries.

"Where is she?!" I demand. I don't mean to yell at my mother, but I don't care not to either, and right now I need to see Tris and our baby.

My mother takes her sweet time in getting up. "Follow me," she says and listlessly begins to walk down a dark corridor. Each slow step echoes through the empty hallway and is like a hammer driving a nail into me.

"Are you trying to aggravate me?" I bark.

She stops in front of a large wooden door and watches me for a second, her expression is cold, unyielding. And then she turns the knob. "They're in here," she says, turning her eyes away from me. She gestures inside and I rush in to see Tris covered from the waist down in a white blanket. She looks weak and pale, the blood from her cheeks gone, and her hair is wet, sticking to her face. But her eyes are still bright and stern, demanding attention. Looking at Tris is like waking up.

"Tobias," she says softly and with a smile.

I think to cross the room but I stop dead in the middle of it. There's a tiny baby in Tris' arms wrapped in a yellow blanket, but there's a tall woman in a blue dress holding another. For an instant- no, longer than an instant- I consider the possibility that they could both be mine.

"Come," Tris whispers, the corners of her lips curled up into a smile, and although her face looks worn it glows and she looks heavenly. I close the space between us and I take a knee by her bedside.

"I'm sorry it took me so long to come get you," I say, rubbing at her hair and kissing at her face.

"It's ok," she whispers. "I knew you'd come for me." She smiles down at the baby in her arms and before I can ask or say anything she says, "This is your son." The words paralyze me. My mouth opens to speak but it doesn't. He's beautiful, with a patch of red on the skin between his eyes, and all I can do is stare at him.

I have a son.

"Can I hold him?" I say finally.

"Of course," she chuckles, and it pulls at my heart. I carefully take my son into my arms and it's like all the broken parts of me come together somehow. His tiny pink fingers faintly curl around mine and I feel whole.

I have to be better. I have to be. For him.

Just then the factionless woman in the blue dress gives the other baby to Tris and I stare at her wide-eyed.

"And this is your daughter," Tris says, confirming my initial suspicion. I gasp and something like a laugh and a cry escapes me. Could this really be happening? To me?

My throat tightens as Tris begins to coo gentle words at our daughter and then an all too familiar force drives me to touch my lips to hers. I pull away and our eyes meet. I want more. I grin and I kiss her again, this time more sure of it. I lean in closer, as close as I can get with two babies between us, kissing her harder. But it's not enough, how can it be?

The factionless woman leaves and my mother pulls the door shut. I didn't even realize she was still standing there.

I bring my forehead to Tris' and I savour the closeness, the feel of her skin against mine. Her breaths are warm against my face. "Did you know?" I barely whisper.

"No," she says, shaking her head. I chuckle a little but I don't open my eyes, afraid that this is all just a wonderful dream, the vision of a life that someone like me can only ever hope to have.

"I love you," I say with a jagged breath.

"I love you too, Tobias," she whispers against my lips. "So much."

And then we're both crying and laughing and kissing.

We may have just lost a war, but this is indisputably the best moment of my life.

I sit myself beside Tris on the bed while she tells me everything and at the end of it I can barely breathe. I hold her close as the reality that I could have lost them all today smashes into me like a head on collision. We have no idea where Charity is, Rae shot a man in the head, and I owe my mother my life. I'm left paralyzed by all three shocking revelations.

"Have you spoken to Evelyn?" Tris asks me.

"Not yet. But I'm going to."

"Maybe you can... try and fix things with her," she says.

I don't know if I'm ready for that yet. To be connected to her again feels strange, like putting on an old piece of clothing that doesn't quite fit anymore. But after everything she's done, I can't deny that she deserves at least a try. Tris looks down at the baby boy in her arms and says, "If she feels about you the way I feel about him, then-" her voice breaks, "-then you should."

"Ok," I say. I place a gentle kiss on her forehead and I lay our daughter in the bassinet beside the bed. I don't want to leave this room, but there are undoubtedly a few thanks in order. I decide to head to Evelyn first.

I barely know her, but she's still my mother and we share a horrible past. She was the only other person who knew all the secrets of our Abnegation house, the violence contained within its walls. We were united in fear then. Maybe now something else can unite us, something better.

"At first I thought it was a joke," she says. "But Rae was very persistent." My mother leans on the edge of the table like she always does, tapping her fingers against it and chewing the inside of her mouth.

"I don't doubt it," I say, staring at the floor. My mother is quiet, pensive, and I know that there's something tugging at the back of her mind, something that she wants to say. And then it comes.

"You're lucky that girl is alive, Tobias," she says, chastising me, as if she still has the right.

"I didn't come here for you to lecture me," I say defensively.

"Well someone needs to." Her tone has changed drastically and I know it's from anger. "Why didn't she ever see a doctor? Or get an ultrasound?"

"You know we didn't have the best conditions at the camp. But she wasn't without care. She had a nurse."

"You could have brought her here!" My mother scowls at me and I feel a rush of anger at her hypocrisy. Where was this side of her when she decided to leave me with Marcus? Or did my well-being not matter to her?

"After the way you treated her?" I snap. "You made it pretty obvious that you didn't like her."

"Tobias, I am your mother! And those are my grandchildren!" she yells, pushing herself off the edge of the table and pointing a rigidly straight arm in the direction of Tris' room. "I may not like her but I certainly don't want her dead or giving birth in the middle of nowhere. Especially because of my son's recklessness."

I scoff and shake my head. As right as she is, I'd rather not hear this right now. Especially not from her. So I ask, "Are you done?" and I wait until she's quiet for long enough before I continue. "I just wanted to say 'Thank You'."

She looks deep into my eyes and says nothing. And then she nods. There's a sincerity in her eyes and they well up with tears when she says, "Maybe now that you have children of your own you'll understand that no matter what I did, I never meant to hurt you, Tobias."

"Tris seems to think so too," I say after a while. I look away. I want to forgive my mother for abandoning me and leaving me with a sadistic monster, but there's a part of me that's too damaged, afraid that if I forgive her and let her in she'll just hurt me again.

"So… what's your plan… with her?" my mother says as she slumps herself back onto the table. It creaks a little when she crosses her arms.

"My plan remains the same."

"I hope it's not because you feel obligated."

"I know you'd like to think that," I say with a hiss, "But whether you want to believe it or not, I love Tris and she loves me. And that's not ever gonna change."

"That's what I said when I married your father," she says flatly.

"Well she's not you. And I'm not him," I say.

Tris taking my name means all of Dauntless knowing who I am, where I come from, all that Marcus did to me. But as much as it's Marcus' name, it's mine and I won't let him take that away from me too. It's time I let myself be healed. I refuse to let my past affect my family's present or their future. I regret nothing, nothing at all. All that plagues me now is the desire to make the most of my decisions and to get in the habit of making better ones. And even before all is said and done, I can, without a doubt, say that Tris is the best decision I will ever make.

My mother studies me for a few seconds, then bites down on her lip before she says, "Ok."

"Ok?... That's it?" I ask incredulously. No fighting? No snide comment?

She shrugs. "She might be good for you."

Might?

"She's strong," she adds.

"Yes, she is," I say firmly. I know it takes a lot for her to admit Tris' strength. And although her response to all this is not as enthusiastic as I would like, it's much less unpleasant than what I have come to expect of my mother. I suppose that it's a small step toward bridging the distance between us, so for now, it'll have to do. There might be some hope left for us after all.

"I was wondering if they could stay here for a while," I say. "I have some things I need to go take care of back at Erudite."

"Of course they can. Tris needs to rest. And I was hoping to spend as much time as I can with the little ones before…" her voice trails off and then she goes quiet. Her mouth and eyes turn down at the corners like they bear little weights, like she's sad about something. Before I never see them again, is what I imagine she couldn't say.

I think about it for a minute. Once the words leave my lips I can never take them back. I swallow and say, "I was thinking that maybe I could bring them to come see you... every once in a while."

She searches my eyes and then she smiles. I don't remember the last time I saw my mother smile. "I'd like that," she says, her eyes wet. I smile a little too.

"Listen," I add, "I might need some help forging birth papers for Rae."

She nods but she doesn't ask why. I assume that she imagines why.

I make my way out of my mother's makeshift office in search of Rae, but she sees me before I see her and all I hear are quick, frantic footsteps heading in my direction.

"I had to! I had to! He was gonna hurt Tris!" Rae crashes into me and sobs wildly into my shirt. All I can do is crouch down and hold her.

"I know sweetheart, I know." I rock her back and forth hoping it will sooth her but I can tell that comfort is fleeting as images of what she did crush her. Still, I don't let go, trying my best to rock away the pain that no eight year old should ever feel. I make a silent promise upon my friend's life that I will love and protect his daughter as my own until the day I die. And it's almost like she can feel that promise because as I make it she wraps her arms around me tightly, though they don't go all the way around. She sighs deeply into my chest and her crying slows.

"Is Tris and the baby ok?" she asks as she releases me and wipes at her face. And I realize she hasn't been in to see them yet.

"Tris is fine," I say while helping her to wipe what's left of her tears. And with a smile I say, "And so are the babies." Rae stares at me, her grey eyes wide. "You saved them Rae. They're all alive because of you," I say. "I'm so proud of you. You were so brave."

Her eyes are wet again but there's a small smile tugging at the corner of her lips. And then it's gone.

"What's gonna happen to me?" she asks. "My dad…"

I wasn't sure how I was going to tell her that her father was dead, but from the look on her face, I can tell she already knows.

"You-" I say while taking her tiny hand in mine, "-can come live with Tris and I for as long as you like. If you want to." There's a flicker in her eyes and she nods wildly. "Yes!" she says as she flings her arms around me one more time.

It takes a while for me to stand up straight. I'm not sure how long I was crouched, but it was long enough to make my knees lock. I hold Rae's hand to take her to see Tris and the babies but she tugs at me, willing me to stop.

"Evelyn took my gun. I want it back. It was my mother's." My eyes open wide at the realization that David must have given it to her before he died. No doubt as a last resort. She saw her father die.

"You don't have to give it back now," she says. "You can hold on to it until I'm old enough."

As troubling as her statement is, it makes me smile. It means she's planning to stay with us for a very long time. There's no way I'm giving her back that gun before she's sixteen. Besides, Rae was born for Dauntless. She'll fit right in.

"Ok," I say. This time she leads the way, pulling me along the dark corridors to Tris' room.

As we enter Rae runs straight toward Tris who is still holding our son in her arms. I hear them giggling and exchanging kisses behind me as I pick up my daughter from the small bassinet.

"There's two of them!" Rae shouts excitedly as she holds out two fingers. "What are their names?"

"I was thinking we could name them now, together," Tris says sweetly.

"Do we give them matching names?" I ask.

She laughs softly and then says, "They'll hate us."

"After initiation they can just change it if they want to," I say, smiling. But I hope they don't. After Amar gave me my nickname I only clung to it because I wanted to escape my old life, disconnect myself from it. I plan to give them both the best life possible, one they can hold on to.

"This one's gonna be a good big brother, a guardian," Tris whispers. "He shielded his sister all this time and then he made sure it was safe before he told her it was ok to come out."

"Alexander." The name leaves my lips before I realize that I've suggested it. I never meant to, it's just that I thought about him after Tris' description. But I don't take it back. It would be an honour to name my son after the man who saved my life today.

"I like it," Tris says enthusiastically. "Alex," she whispers and leans herself into him to kiss him on the forehead.

"What about our little princess here?" I ask. "Alexandra?" I tease. I hope Tris knows I'm joking.

"NO!" Tris lets out a short but loud laugh, only stopping herself to not disturb the now sleeping Alex.

"Can we call her Annabelle?" Rae tip toes beside me and smiles down at the tiny baby girl in my arms. I don't ask her where she got the name. It's perfect.

"That's a beautiful name, Rae," I say. "She'll love it."

Tris doesn't say anything, but by the tears forming in her eyes I know that the name means something to her.

"Alexander and Annabelle," the mother of my children whispers softly. Love in its purest form radiates from every angle of her smile. I haven't seen Tris smile like that since before her parents died. I know a part of her will always mourn the loss of two of the people she loved most, but somehow I know that having gained two more precious people to love and live for has healed her the same way it has healed me.

"Alex and Anna," I say, grinning, and the names feel sweet on my tongue.

Rae grins too and then she leaves my side and goes to stand by Tris. "You want to hold him?" Tris asks her.

"Can I?" She smiles so wide that the corners of her lips almost touch her ears.

"Of course. He's your baby brother." Tris gently hands him over and he squirms a little before relaxing into Rae's arms.

"Hi, baby brother," she whispers. "I promise I'll be the best big sister ever." And then she leaves a small kiss on his tiny forehead.

As it all unfolds my heart races, overwhelmed by a flood of emotion. I never thought it was humanly possible to love Tris anymore than I already did. Neither did I ever imagine that I would be cradling in my arms what feels like my entire universe. Then I look at Rae. I'll always owe her my life. Every precious moment that I am able to have with my family from this day forward is only possible because she has a strength that defies reason.

I swallow nervously as I sense that I am now in unfamiliar territory. I have a family of my own. Somehow I get the feeling that my life is only just beginning. I'm a father, not to two children but three. And there is more love in this very moment, in this tiny room, than I have ever felt in my entire life.

A little more of the darkness that lives inside of me dies. I close my eyes to force back the tears but it's not enough. The burning feeling inside my chest refuses to be contained.

And it overflows.

A/N: Please let me know what you thought of this chapter! :)