A/N- So this is the last chapter… then an epilogue, and then that's it! This will be the first story I actually finish. Sorry that this chapter took so long to come, but it was VERY hard to write. For those of you who care I will be writing a sequel and it will have both Meredith and Derek in it… and it will be a little on the experimental side… But that won't happen till the end of July. Please review this chapter, particularly if you have been with this story right from the first posting, I would love your opinion.

'In the arms of the Angel, fly away from here.'

For the rest of the day the interns and Derek remained in Meredith's room, and for a few short hours they had all been able to talk and laugh together, and it had seemed like old times again, as if nothing had ever happened between them. But then Meredith had become exhausted and started to drift off. She was also given another dose of painkillers as it was clear to everyone that she desperately needed them. It was hard to watch someone you loved drift further away in each passing moment, and so after those first few hours people started to leave until only Derek and Cristina were left.

They sat in silence with her for most of the night, sleeping uncomfortably on the chairs by her bed and making sure that there was always someone holding her hand.

'Cristina?' Derek asked.

'Mmmm?'

'Do you remember last year when I was with Addison, and Meredith had that case where she accidentally intubated a woman with a DNR?'

'Vaguely. I remember she had to take the tube out when the family arrived, but that's about it.' Cristina said frowning.

'After the woman died, Meredith had a panic attack. I found her crying hysterically in a supply closet and all I could manage to get out of her was that she didn't want her mother to die alone.'

'Oh.'

'I don't want Meredith to die alone, Cristina. One of us has to be with her always. Every last second of her life has to be spent with one of us.' He said firmly.

There was silence for a time, and then Cristina said 'Her mother died alone because of us.'

'Yes.'

'It was wrong what we did.' Cristina added.

'Yes.' Derek said again.

'Do you think she's forgiven us?'

'Have you forgiven her for leaving?' He asked.

'No.' Cristina said. 'I want to, but I can't. I don't know if I ever will. I just know that it doesn't matter if I forgive her or not. She's still my person, and I still love her.'

'Then that's your answer. She hasn't forgiven us, and she never will. But it doesn't matter. All that matters is that she has chosen to spend her last days with us and the only gift we can give to her is our company.'

'I don't know what I'm going to do without her.' Cristina whispered.

'I can't think about that yet. If I do then I'm going to fall apart and I can't do that, not yet. So let's not talk about it.' Derek said.

They fell into silence.

A few hours later Cristina stirred in her chair. She jolted awake as she realized that Meredith was awake, and both she and Derek had been asleep.

'Meredith?' Cristina asked softly. 'Honey are you okay? Do you need anything? Are you in pain?'

'I'm okay.' She whispered. 'It hurts, but I'm okay.'

Cristina moved to shake Derek awake.

'No don't wake him.' Meredith said. 'Did you get the papers?'

Cristina nodded and pulled them out of the top drawer next to Meredith's bed. 'You have to tell Derek you know.' She said as she handed them to her.

'I know. But I just want to sign them first. Then we will wake him up and tell him I promise.'

Cristina raised an eyebrow at her.

'I promise.' She said again. 'Now help me sit up so I can sign the bloody thing.'

Even the simple act of signing her name to a piece of paper seemed to exhaust Meredith and when she had finished she lay still, hardly able to open her eyes. Cristina smoothed her hair back from her face and took one of her hands in her own.

'I'm sorry Mer, and I hope you can forgive me.' She paused for a moment. 'I hope I can forgive you too. If you hadn't run away we could have had so much more time, so much more than this.' She laid her head down on Meredith's bed and watched her sleep, and eventually she joined her.

When she woke up it was due to Derek, who was shaking her gently by the shoulder.

'What's this?' he asked, holding up the DNR papers.

'What do you think they are?' Cristina snapped. 'They're DNR papers.'

'Did you bring these to her?' He asked, his voice rising.

'She asked me to bring them to her Derek. She asked me to and I did and last night when you were asleep I helped her sign them.'

Derek face filled with hurt and disbelief.

'Oh come on.' Cristina said wearily. 'Did you really expect that she wouldn't have thought of this? That she would be different from any other end stage cancer patient? She doesn't want to be put on a ventilator Derek. This is not a selfish decision; she doesn't want to prolong her death.'

'I just, I don't.' He sighed and rubbed his hands over his eyes. 'Of course I knew she must have considered it. I expected it. But I don't understand why she didn't ask me for them. I could have helped her with them ages ago, why now? Why did she ask you?'

'Because she couldn't ask you for them, she knows as well as you do that you're hanging on by a thread. She was afraid that this would break you.'

'Derek?'

Meredith was awake.

'Derek? She said again. 'I'm sorry.'

Cristina let go of Meredith's hand. 'I'll be back soon.' She said, leaving the room.

Derek took Cristina's place on the bed and gently cupped Meredith's face in his hands. 'You could have asked me.' He said softly. 'I won't fall apart. And you have nothing to be sorry for.'

'Thank you.' She smiled wearily up at him. 'I love you, you know.'

'I know.' Derek said seriously. 'Mer, can I ask you a question?'

'Mmmm?'

'How did it get so bad?'

'What do you mean?' She asked.

'I mean, you're a doctor. You know the signs to look for. Why didn't you get checked out when you first started to feel sick? Before it was too late? Why did you wait so long?'

Meredith turned her head away from him, and stared out the window.

'Meredith?' Derek asked softly. 'Please tell me'

'I don't want you to think I'm blaming you.' She said eventually.

'Why would I think that?'

Meredith turned her head slowly back to him. 'Because I started to have symptoms around the time my mom died.'

'Oh.' Derek didn't know what else to say, but everything was starting to fall into place and he suddenly found himself not wanting to hear anymore.

'I just thought that I felt sick because of stress. And then I moved to Boston, and the symptoms got worse, and I thought that was because I was starting my life over by myself and it was all a bit much, and well, I missed you. I thought it was all in my head. I didn't realize that it was something serious until my attending forced me to have an examination. And by then it was too late.' Meredith said. 'I had surgery but it had spread too far and they closed me up rather than cut it out.'

It was the most she had said all day, and it took her a long time to say it. But she felt better for it. It felt like the last weight had lifted from her shoulders and she could now die in peace.

Derek didn't trust himself to speak. So it was his fault then. If they hadn't lied to her she never would have left and she never would have thought her symptoms were stress.

'Derek? Are you angry?' Meredith asked softly.

'No I'm not angry.' He said, taking her hand in his. 'I've never been angry with you. I never will be angry with you.'

'What about when I left? You were mad at me then.' She said with a smile.

'I think I was angrier at myself than at you. I knew what I did was wrong, and I knew it was my fault that I'd lost you.' He paused, then his voice cracked and he started to cry. 'I just didn't know how true that was.'

Meredith tightened her fingers around his hand, and she struggled to sit up. 'Derek listen to me. This is not your fault. I could have caught this early and still ended up here, you know that. It is not your fault.'

Derek nodded his head slowly, wiping his eyes with his free hand. 'I wish we had more time.'

'Me too.' She said softly. 'I'm so tired Derek.'

'I know.' He brought her hand to his lips and kissed it gently. 'You should sleep.'

When Meredith woke up it was much later and Derek wasn't holding her hand anymore. It was someone else sitting by her side and she struggled to open her eyes to see who it was.

'Dr Bailey?' She said confused.

'It's Miranda honey.' Bailey said.

'What are you doing here?'

'What do you mean, what am I doing here? I'm not allowed to sit with you, is that what you're saying?' Bailey said, picking up Meredith's hand and giving it a squeeze.

'No, I mean… where's Derek?'

'He's still here honey; he's asleep in the chair.' Bailey said softly. 'Do you want me to wake him?'

Meredith smiled. 'No, let him sleep. He needs to sleep.'

'Okay.'

'Will you stay with me till he wakes up?' She asked.

'Of course I will.' Bailey said.

'Where's Cristina?'

'She's in the chair next to Derek, also asleep.'

Meredith nodded, then after awhile, 'Would I have been a good surgeon?'

'You already were a good surgeon Meredith, but you would have grown into a great surgeon. Greater even than your mother, and she would have been so proud of you, just like I'm so proud of you.'

'Are George and Izzie here?' She asked.

'No. They're both with patients at the moment.' Bailey said.

'I think they should come. I want to see them. I want to…'

'You want to say goodbye?' Bailey finished for her.

Meredith nodded.

'I'll get them.' Bailey moved away from the bed and gently shook Cristina awake.

'What's wrong?' She asked.

'Meredith asked me to get Izzie and George. She's awake right now, but she doesn't have much time left. I think you should wake Derek.' She whispered.

'Okay.' Cristina said as Bailey left the room.

'I'm awake.' Derek said softly. He pulled himself out of his chair and moved to Meredith's bedside. 'How are you doing Mer?'

'It hurts.' She said softly. 'Can you up my morphine?'

'Not much more honey. Do you want to be sedated?' Derek asked, smoothing her hair back.

'No, I want to stay awake. Can you raise my bed so I can see better?'

'Sure.'

Soon the room was filled with people, and although Meredith couldn't speak for long anymore, she managed a few words with each of them. Most people drifted in and out stopping by for as long as they could in between seeing patients. Addison and Mark came by as well as Bailey, Burke, Callie, and even Sydney.

Alex, Izzie, and George were content to sit quietly in the room with her, not saying very much but just giving her their company. After a few hours as it was drawing near to dusk they were joined by the Chief, who kissed Meredith on the top of her head and whispered how proud he was of her and how he could not have hoped for a better daughter than her.

Derek and Cristina never left her side, each of them holding one of her hands.

As it neared ten pm it became very clear that Meredith would not last the night.

'We should go.' Izzie said softly to George and Alex. 'Let's give them some privacy.'

They nodded in agreement and each in turn whispered their final goodbyes before leaving the room.

'Call me if you need anything.' Izzie said softly before she left. They nodded mutely.

'I should go too.' Cristina murmured, but found herself unable to get up. Instead Derek stood and placed Meredith's hand in Cristina's.

'I'll be right outside.' He said gently. Somehow he knew that she needed to say goodbye alone.

Cristina placed her head on the pillow next to Meredith's so their faces were almost touching. 'I just want you to know, that you are the best, smartest, most amazing person I have ever known. And knowing you has made me a better person than I was before. You will always be my person, I could never replace you, and I will never forget you. I love you.' She whispered.

'I love you too.' Meredith said softly.

'Goodbye Meredith Grey.' She said, letting go of Meredith's hands and placing them gently on the bed. She couldn't control her tears and let them stream down her face as she left the room, squeezing Derek's arm as she went.

Derek closed the door behind her and moved to Meredith's side. He removed his shoes and lay down on the bed next to her, pulling her into his arms. They lay together for a time, Derek talking to her quietly about anything that came into his head.

'Derek?' Meredith asked after a time.

'Yes baby?'

'Do you remember the night of the bomb? You came to my house and I asked you about our last kiss?'

'Yes.'

'Tell me that story again; tell me about our last kiss.'

Derek swallowed hard, he could still recall that day with perfect clarity and he remembered every single word of what he'd said to her. 'It was a Thursday morning. You were wearing your ratty looking Dartmouth T-shirt, looking so good as always. You'd just had a shower and you smelled amazing, like lavender. I was running late for surgery, and you said you'd see me later, and you leaned to me, you put your hand on my chest and you kissed me. It was a soft kiss, a quick kiss, like one we would do every day for the rest of our lives. Then you went back to reading the newspaper and I went to work.'

'Derek I- .'

'Shhh, don't try to speak honey.' He said putting his head on her chest. 'I can hear your heart.' He said softly. 'I like hearing your heartbeats.'

'There aren't enough Derek. There aren't enough heartbeats.' She murmured faintly.

'No there aren't.' He agreed, lifting his head to rest next to hers on the pillow as he looked into her eyes. Then they slowly closed. Derek squeezed his own eyes shut and pulled her towards him, and he didn't need the harsh beep of the monitor to know that she was gone.