Nine
Okay, so… before she went with Evan to the infirmary, let the docs prod and poke and question her and managed to find an excuse to go looking for Colonel Carter without having to tell Evan where she's going, seeking Colonel Carter's advice on how to cope with everything the Goa'uld left behind between Evan and her had sounded a lot easier. But now that she's standing in front of the lab they told her the Colonel is currently working in, all her bravado and determination seem to have gone… someplace else.
It takes her at least five attempts to decide that now she will enter the lab… but in the end what prompts her to is a Colonel Carter saying without even turning around, "Should I call security or are you going to reveal yourself to me any time soon, oh mysterious lurker at my door?"
Crap. But hey, she's a Marine. She can do this. So trying to conceal her embarrassment and nervousness, she saunters into the room and says, "Sorry, ma'am. It just… looked like you were insanely busy." Okay, that came out a lot more timid than she had intended to.
Now Carter does turn around. "Oh, Captain… I take it your leave is over?"
She nods and walks over to the workbench to see what exactly the Colonel is working on. The whole construction looks vaguely familiar… "That a phase generator, ma'am?" Carter just raises her eyebrow and nods. Trying to keep on appearing as casual as possible she gives Carter a cocky half-smile. "Cool. I bet it would give McKay a run for his money."
Thankfully, it makes the Colonel grin, even if it was only for a short moment. "Thank you for the compliment, Captain." Then she adds matter-of-factly, "But we both know you're not here to talk physics, are you?"
Right. Of course she would see through her pretense. A little resigned she sits down opposite the Colonel and sighs. "No, ma'am."
"So," Carter says and looks at her, "nice tan you acquired, Captain." Huh. Who's beating around the bush now?
However, she's got the feeling that Carter knows where she wants to go with this so she decides to go with it for now. "Nice enough for a natural redhead, yeah." She shares a grin of mutual suffering with the natural blonde Carter.
The grin… does stay on for a while, at least. "Still looks good. I take it Major Lorne looks even better?" Ah yeah, here we go.
She takes a deep breath, knowing Carter will go in for the kill in her next comment. "Yeah… but then again he always looks good."
"Of course he does." Again, they share a mutual grin and she can't help being a little proud she managed to get a guy even impeccable Colonel Carter found attractive. "And other than the tan… how was the rest of your leave?"
Of course she could tell Carter now about Charlie giving them – and himself – a hard time over their relationship or her mother making things really unpleasant, at least at first, or about her trip to San Francisco or… yeah, anyway, she knows what Carter wants to hear about so she finally gives up beating around the bush and says, "It was… okay. Well, considering we had a rather unpleasant run-in with some stalker snake after only a couple of days on Earth, that is."
Okay, that could be interpreted as still beating around the bush… and Carter does. Sighing she shakes her head and says, "Look, Captain, I'm not trying to make you or Major Lorne look bad. I know you're both exceptional officers who do a very good job. All I want to do is… tell you that you shouldn't take the whole thing lightly."
Well… it's not like others haven't done that before. In fact… in fact it's what just about every member of the infirmary staff that had only remotely something to do with them told them. However, this is Colonel Samantha Carter so it's probably better if she tries to rein in her temper. "And we don't, ma'am. Honestly, we…" talked about it, she wants to say but if she's honest… they didn't. Not really.
"I know they will make you see a counselor about it and I strongly suggest you take it seriously. Both of you will need it." Yeah, the counseling stuff… they'd both known they'd have to go there but because that's one of the things they both don't like to talk about, they simply silently agreed on not bringing it up during their leave; not even after her almighty nervous break down.
"I know, ma'am. But… to be honest… everything went surprisingly well in the last few weeks. I mean sure, it was a little rough in the first few days… but it evened out pretty fast." Well, apart from occasionally waking up from nightmares or now and then getting the feeling that Evan sometimes hesitated a little to get closer to her than arm's length.
And dammit… the worried and serious look on Carter's face tells her that she knows she wasn't entirely truthful just now. "I'm sorry to say it but… that doesn't necessarily mean it's over." Uh… what? "Sometimes… the reaction to a trauma like being snaked comes with a time delay. For days or maybe even weeks after it happened, the person concerned will feel nothing more than a little out of sorts but otherwise okay… but eventually, that bomb will go off."
Okay… she gets that analogy loud and clear. Basically, Carter is suggesting that either her or Evan – or both of them – are ticking time bombs and need diffusing as soon as possible. "Ma'am, I…" She wants to add something but if she's honest… the prospect of this overshadowing their life for weeks or maybe even months makes her speechless.
"I'm not saying it has to happen… just that you should be careful. You wouldn't believe how many soldiers refused to get help after having been snaked at first and came crawling back after a few weeks." Oh, she's sure she can believe it was quite a lot. After all, she isn't exactly overjoyed at the prospect of having to spend time with Dr. Obanashi again.
She nods. "Of course, ma'am. It's just… I don't…" I don't want to lose Evan, even after everything is supposed to be over, she means to say but can't.
However, a look in Colonel Carter's face tells her she understood her anyway. It's the sad little smile and the change to encouraging that tell her that Colonel Carter has been in her place before, maybe more than once and that she knows how it feels to see a usually strong soldier struggle with his inner demons and be unable to help… because you have your own demons to fight in order to keep on going. "I know, Captain. And even if it does happen… it doesn't mean you're doomed to fail. Just… talk to each other, be honest with each other and support each other. Well… and listen to your counselor."
She can't help but mirror Carter's smirk because to her dismay, listening to Dr. Obanashi in the past had actually helped, even if she'd have preferred to be able to solve everything on her own. "I will, ma'am. And… thanks for the advice."
It makes Carter smile at her. "You're welcome, Captain. You and Major Lorne both."
"So…" she starts, actually meaning to ask something about the phase generator Carter is working on, just to squeeze her a little for details so she can drive Rodney up the wall with telling him Carter could still give him a run for his money… but the appearance of a very familiar figure in the door frame keeps her from doing that.
"Excuse me, ma'am, have you… oh, that's where you're hiding, Laura." How the hell did Evan find her? She hadn't told anyone where she was going and she'd taken care he would be preoccupied enough to not ask too many questions when she had told him she'd just go visiting a co-worker from her time at the SGC.
Feeling a little caught, she can't help feeling the need to justify herself and huff at him, "I wasn't hiding, Evan."
He just raises his eyebrows and comes sauntering into the room. A little wary, he looks at Colonel Carter and then says, "Right. You were visiting a former co-worker. I'm surprised to see that it's Colonel Carter of all people." Then he realizes his mistake and turns to Colonel Carter, ready to apologize. "Uh, I mean… uh… no offence, ma'am, I… uh…"
"It's okay, Major. Actually, Captain Cadman's former co-worker left a few minutes ago but the Captain got interested in the phase generator I'm working on so we stayed here to talk about it." Impressive. Not many people she knows can pull off a nearly blatant lie as smoothly as Carter just did.
Apparently, she pulled it off so well that Evan believes it. Or at least doesn't feel confident or in the mood enough to challenge it. "Oh, I see. Well, uh… got to hear anything interesting?"
It makes her smirk – and feel mighty relieved because she doesn't even have to lie about it – and reply, "Yeah, think I did. Not enough to make Rodney jealous, though. Because, you know, some nosy Major had to barge in suddenly."
That makes Carter grin and Evan frown. "That's because some forgetful Captain obviously didn't switch her radio on and I had to go and find her to tell her the 'Gate dial got rescheduled and we've got about 20 minutes until we have to be in the 'Gate room."
Damn, he noticed that. She should have resisted the temptation to leave the radio switched off so she could talk to the Colonel without interruption. "Right. I… uh…"
"Was too fascinated by the phase generator?" Carter helpfully supplies but the barely veiled amused grin tells her that the Colonel is enjoying this far too much for someone of her position and reputation.
But as it, she has to take every straw she gets offered. "Yeah, exactly. So… 20 minutes, huh?" Evan nods, still trying to be annoyed with her. "Guess we better go then." He nods again, gesturing for her to go on. "Anyway, uh… nice talking to you, ma'am. Thanks for the introduction on the phase generator, short as it might have been." Hah. She really couldn't resist that one.
Carter only reacts with a little smile and when she says, "You're welcome, Captain," it shows her that she knew full well that she hadn't thanked her for the conversation on phase generators they never had. Then, addressing both Evan and her, Carter adds, "Give Colonel Sheppard and his team my regards when you're back in the city, please."
"Will do, ma'am," Evan replies and lets go of his irritation at her – it starts to dawn on her that she isn't the only one having a problem with her partner gone AWOL – to smile at Colonel Carter. Then they say their good byes and leave the lab.
After a few steps in silence… she takes a deep breath. "Evan?"
He raises his eyebrows. "Mh?"
"Sorry for switching the radio off." She hopes he realizes she didn't only apologize for being a little unprofessional but also for taking away his means to reach her and reassure himself he could find her if he needed to.
The slightly resigned look on his face… tells her he did. "It's okay. Just try not to do it again, okay?"
With a tight little smile, she replies, "Yeah." On an impulse… she takes a look around to reassure herself that the corridor is empty and stops to take a deep breath and say, "Look, Evan, about what Davis said in the briefing room…"
"I know, Laura. But it's over. They can't hurt us anymore." She knows she shouldn't let him interrupt her and just end the conversation even before it really began but the conviction in his voice… tells her he'll do everything possible to keep something like what they went through from happening again and for now… that's everything she needs and everything she wants to know. "Come on," he continues and reaches out to take her hand, "let's go home, huh." At that… she simply tries a brave smile and resumes walking to the 'Gate room with him, her hand firmly in his. Home, it is.
A/N: Okay, uh, I might have... kinda... killed my laptop's keyboard (jury's still out on it because everyone told me to wait for it to dry up for at least a day and then try again... let's hope I didn't also short-circuit anything with my impatient attempts at seeing if it's dried up yet). I certainly hope it's not the case (as it is with the short-circuiting which would be even about a thousand times worse because none of you want to know when I did the last big backup...) but if it is (having killed the keyboard, I mean), I do have an extern keyboard to spare I can use. Yay me.
Okay, so now about the actual story: This is the last chapter before the epilogue (but don't worry, I already have sequel done and mac is even done with the beta'ing although she refused to do it at first, and with good reasons at that... I love my beta!) and I was particularly worried about my portrayal of Sam (yes, again... I'm weird that way). How did I do there?