If I were to tell you my muse, you'd never believe me. Who would? Who would believe a muse would hit you over the head with a slate one day and suddenly the whole world opened up to you.

Don't get me wrong, this isn't a love story, again you have to believe me on this point, because its not a love story. Well, its not one she would write anyway.

I'm not making much sense am I? No, I suppose from the outward in it doesn't make much sense, but from the inside out, it makes the most sense in the world!

I'll start that day for you if you like? The day we met. I'd been in New Brunswick for the summer you see. School, although important to my family hasn't been our main focus. You see four years ago my dad got really sick and I went with him, to help. I guess we figured there are more important things in life, like each other, which is true, but anyway missing the beginning of school to go and see family was more important then 'settling in' to school, especially the way Mr Phillips chose to teach.

I went to school like any other fourteen year old boy, and so clueless as to what would happen that day.

I'm pretty popular with everyone, I was a bit of a joker back then I suppose, and sometimes I could be cruel without meaning to be cruel, but people would forgive me because I was me.

But she didn't know me, she hadn't grown up with me. How was she to know the 'carrots' jibe was in jest? I just wanted her attention for a moment.

She fascinated me from the moment I saw the back of her head from the back of the classroom, she was talking to Diana Barry, so if her company was any indication of her it meant she was sweet and kind. Her hair were in two neat very thick very red plaits the bottom of them curling sweetly. She was about Diana's age, and then as I sat down across the aisle from them, I was expecting something for them to look to say hello but they were absorbed in their own discussion, and I was never the type to pine for attention turned my hand to tease Ruby who sat in front of me. So it expired that Anne had seen the whole thing, how I had pinned Ruby's hair to the chair then she had tried to get it the plait remained it pulled her hair I whipped the pin away and hid it acted like nothing happened, well Anne saw it and didn't like it. But when I saw she saw I may have winked for her approval which I didn't get.

What I did get was a clear look into those eyes of hers.

They're as grey as a tempest, as green as a calm meadow, wide and expressive. Seriously the most beautiful fascination I've ever experienced.

So all day I tried to get her attention again and this was something else which completely perplexed me. I failed. I figured with her being able to concentrate like that... well I had to meet her!

But the more I tried the more I failed, and the biggest fail was yet to come.

At this point lets make clear, I was kind of pursuing her. I mean I wasn't used to failing to make a girl look at me. I knew I was handsome enough, believe me I'm boarder line cocky at times! I thought Anne should look at me. With her little pointed chin and those eyes! Those eyes!

So I reached across the aisle, took her hair and whispered

"Carrots! Carrots!"

And then, then I did get those pretty eyes looking at me, looking at me with a vengeance!

She did more than look. She sprang to her feet, her bright fancies fallen into cureless ruin. She flashed one indignant glance at me from eyes whose angry sparkle was swiftly quenched in equally angry tears.

"You mean, hateful boy!" she exclaimed passionately. "How dare you!"

And then—thwack! She had me. Her slate clear broke across my head, my pride hurt more then my head (surprisingly)

Well you can imagine it was quite the scene in school. This was an especially enjoyable one for everyone not involved.

But then Mr Phillips decided it was Anne's fault. I tried, I really did for the first time in my life I tried to take the blame, I didn't know she would give as good as she got, no other girl had ever ever gave back what she got and I'll admit it, it felt awful! She ended up at the blackboard all day, Mr Phillips insisting on punishing her not only by writing but saying out loud

"Ann Shirley has a very bad temper. Ann Shirley must learn to control her temper," and then read it out loud so that even the primer class, who couldn't read writing, should understand it. Yes, this is the level of care taken upon our education by our teacher, he couldn't even bring himself to write her name properly!

Of all the behaviour in the world! I swear, honestly I know you must discipline at times but this was humiliation, Mr Phillips finest form of discipline.

I would have taken her place in a heartbeat and I did try to apologise but just like the other times, she was not like the others. I later heard her tell Diana that I had "hurt my feelings excruciatingly, Diana."

And that hurt me. Not the words, but the idea I had hurt someone, I never thought teasing could hurt. Here I am three and a bit years later and she still won't forgive me.

If only she knew that hurts me, on a daily bases, excruciatingly.

But, she has taught me so much! Oh she may hate me, but I don't her. I watch her from a distance, she is as fierce in her loyalty as she is in her distain. She had no half feelings, it was all or nothing and it was rarely nothing.

For example, Miss Stacy (our much improved teacher from the previous mentioned one) set up a class for entrance to the Queen's academy in Charlottetown. Well, a lot of us signed up, despite the other girls not being quite like Anne, they have sense enough to want to go to Queens. Well Diana's mother decided Diana couldn't stay, something about domestic duties, and as Diana was leaving Anne cried for her. Cried? What for, I may never know. Empathy of her friend being alone, for her own sake for feeling alone in the queen's class, wanting her friend to have the same as her including her education? A recognition that in the unlikely event Diana didn't marry, she might not have the means of taking care of herself? I don't know what it was, but I can tell you this. I wanted to go and sit with Anne, put my arm around her and tell her that everything will right itself. I wanted to, but couldn't.

But I'm not pining.

You might think I am but you'd be wrong. Because I'm proving that I'm not. I mean when you pine do you get on with life? If she doesn't want to be my friend well its fine.

I'm happy in my acquaintances and I have my own group of friends, I don't need to get to know her and by being myself and getting on with things, well maybe one day she'll see what she's missing.

So I do as she pleases, if she won't acknowledge my existence I won't hers, except as a rival in school, Anne Shirley prevented any measure of friendship between us, well then that's her business.

So you can see Anne Shirley is a fire. She burns so brightly that you can not ignore it, and I don't know what it is when that slate came down on my head, I don't know some of her fire must have came down with the slate and gave me flame, because ever since I've been wanting more.

I wanted to make it up to her, maybe I will still one day, but I wanted to do it. I've been teasing girls since I was nine years old, I never wanted to make it up to any of them before.

I wanted to prove that I wasn't just some dumb boy, because I've never had any problems with my grades but I wanted to keep up, with her! Its true its easier in some areas then other, Her arithmetic is a little dusty in places but her creative writing is amazing!

Its not just to her though. Its spread. I want to prove to my mom and dad that I can do all the school stuff, I want to help more to prove myself to them. I want to prove to my friends, that I'm not the nine year old teaser anymore, that I'm grown and a man! I mean I'm seventeen now, not nine.

Which is why I'm so determined, so sure that I'm not all that immature anymore. I love to learn I want to make something better of myself. The world is wide and wonderful, wise and wild and I only a man in it. I want to know it, I want to touch it and experience it. I love my corner of the world, I love PEI I love Avonlea, but there is more and I want to see it. I want to take her with me to experience it all and together we could talk of what we find, of the wonder of it. It has lived long before us and outlive us all.

I know going to Queens will be the start of it, I doubt I'll remain a teacher my whole life, but I want to make a difference.

And you know we're getting older I'm seventeen Anne is going to be fifteen very soon, and she is a force to be reckoned with.

I wish, I wish we could walk the path together, I don't even mean romantically (although it wouldn't be unwelcomed) I wish to compare notes on our studying, I wish to accompany her to dances and culture events and tell her how much I enjoy her company, because I know I will.

For the time being however, I am fated to walk only on a parallel path , towards the same destination but separate, I wish I could see where our paths will merge to one, or even not a mile apart.