Author's Note
Okay, it's looking like Mina Aino Must Die! Okay, I've been listening to those John Tucker Must Die commercials too much…lol… okay I don't own Sailor Moon, JTMD, but I do own the crazy narrators, sadly. And the villains and their powers. Okay, I'm ready now.
Geez, I hate this right now… I've got serious writer's block. I try writing and I have to keep stepping away. Right now the music is guiding me, but for the most part I'm in dire straits… this fic is actually pulling towards a close… it's still like four or five chaps away, but it's coming, and Bending Reality, As Told by Nara, is also pulling to the end, but that one's like two or three chaps. I'm going to go back to the weekly schedule soon, but right now, I still can hardly keep up with four fics, and last week I didn't even post one of em… enjoy!
Ken and the Chickens!
Chapter 10: The Dub God
I am starting the chapter now.
"Well, it would seem that you two cause problems," the demon repeated, like an idiot. "Any last requests before I crush you?"
Sailor Jupiter scratched her head, thinking hard. How could they get out of this? Haha! Nothing could save them.
Except for Mina.
"Praytell, canst thou name a name of oriental origin?" Sailor Venus quizzed.
"Oriental? Evil minion, what does that mean?" the giant exclaimed. The bird minion sighed.
"It means from the eastern hemisphere of Earth, the planet they dwell on. You wouldn't be up to something, would you?"
"Come on, this is the same girl who said we should go get coffee after Mercury was forced to lie!" Sailor Jupiter shouted. "She's an idiot!"
"Thou dost jest," Sailor Venus whined. "Dost thou thinkest of me as such?"
"Yes," Sailor Jupiter said.
"True dat!" Sailor Mercury added.
"Unfortunately," Sailor Mars sighed. "Although our princess fare far worse than thyself."
"I HEARD THAT MARS!" Serena cried from her little bird cage.
"Fine fine, a name of oriental descent then, and then you will be crushed," the giant demon said. "Kiyoshi."
Suddenly, lightning flashed and the thunder crashed. The lights began to dim, as it got harder and harder to see.
All right, what did you do?
It's so pretty.
Don't feign stupidity. You're so stupid you suck at it. Now tell me!
But I don't wanna! You'll find out!
But I CAN'T SEE WHAT'S HAPPENING!
Oh.
The silence reigned for several moments. Then, the lights returned, and in front of them was a fat old guy. He had a serious receding hair line, pudgy cheeks, and casual business attire in navy blue. He adjusted his tacky "I Hate Anime" tie, and loosened his bronze cufflinks.
"All right, it's been awhile since I've actually had to smite someone. You know, you aren't allowed to say names of oriental origin in my dubbed version of Sailor Moon. So now you shall feel my dubbedly wrath."
The bird minion glared at Sailor Venus, who was now whistling away as she kicked a rock.
"Dubbedly wrath?" Tuxedo Stu—I mean Jupiter asked with a chuckle.
"There's nothing wrong with dubbedly."
Tragically, Tuxedo Jupiter was still laughing his head off. The old fat man snapped his fingers, as Tuxedo Jupiter lit in flames.
PG-13! PG-13!
The group thought he was a goner, however, he came through unscathed.
"Oh man!" Tuxedo Jupiter sobbed. "I brought my dub-god-resistant cape! My youma-resistant cape must still be at the cleaners!"
"You mean I can't smite you where you stand?" the fat man demanded. "BEEP!"
The group gasped.
"What? I censored myself. I am a dub god! I can smite you all where—"
Instantly, the fat old man was replaced with a shapely woman with big rim glasses.
"I am the new dub goddess. My name is Alice, and I find that you, Mr. Unnamed Giant Demon, and your sidekick bird minion, are both in severe violation of dub policy."
"IT WAS ALL THEIR IDEA!" the bird minion squawked, pointing at Sailor Venus.
"Please. As if Sailor Venus is intelligent enough for something like that."
"Thou doesn't jest," Sailor Venus said sadly.
"All right, you two are hereby iradicated from this story! Good day!" Alice the Dub Goddess proclaimed, as she turned and vanished, the demons going with her. Sadly enough, the chickens remained.
"They're gone!" Sailor Mars cheered. "Great plan Venus—we can talk normally again!"
"All right!" Sailor Mercury cheered as well. "Free from that horrid tongue!"
"Wow Tuxedo Jupiter, we really were lucky," Sailor Jupiter said with a smirk. "Imagine the work the authoress would have had to do if all of us had been affected!"
"What are you talking about?" Tuxedo Jupiter asked.
"I have no idea!" Sailor Jupiter replied. The group chuckled nervously.
"Well, as least the giant moron is gone," Tuxedo Jupiter said.
…Oh dear me, did that slip?
You did that on purpose!
I can't control the characters, remember?
Oh yeah… oh wait! Yes you can! The author let us, remember?
So there's only one more chapter until voting closes… pick Mina! Although her latest plan was interesting.
I suggested it!
No you didn't. You were too busy biting your fingernails.
Review… oh wait! YES I DID!
Idiot.