November 9

Wanda, mindful of the promise they'd made not to give Pyro "unsolicited feedback" came storming into the living room where she found Gambit watching cartoons while eating his breakfast; it was lunch time.

"Have you read his story yet?" she fumed.

Gambit glanced up at her and grinned. "Oh yeah. It's hilarious."

"Hilarious?" Wanda snapped. "He has me traipsing around in a glorified bikini!"

"Is that a bikini? I thought it was a couple of side-covers that just happened to cover your nipples and prevent you from leaving a snail trail everywhere," Gambit said with a smirk.

"I'm going to kill him."

"I think that qualifies as 'unsolicited feedback'."

"I'm going to kill him and I'm going to kill his muse."

Gambit chuckled lightly.

"I'm surprised you're taking this so well," Wanda went on, "since he has you going around in a magenta loin cloth."

"The similarities between me and Christophe are all superficial," Gambit replied with a shrug.

"He's a womaniser with magenta powers," Wanda pointed out. "And he uses a staff."

"He's also an exhibitionist with hazel eyes, who's always clean shaven and uses his staff to change clothes. There's been no sign of playing cards of any variety which I think we can all agree are my trademark, no trench coats, and staves appear to be a common weapon," Gambit pointed out. "Hmm, I think that if I were to offer some unsolicited feedback, I'd have him exchange the loin cloth for a dance belt. It's harder to grab a dance belt."

"Maybe that's the idea."

"Maybe."

"I can't believe you're not mad."

Gambit shrugged. "I'm sure you'll discover that the similarities between you and Alaina are superficial too. And once that happens, you can start having fun looking for stuff to mock. Because going on some of his outlandish descriptions of body parts, I'm sure any sex scenes are going to be utterly ridiculous."

Wanda's eyes widened. "Oh, I don't even want to think about Pyro writing sex scenes about me."

"So don't," Gambit replied simply. "Disassociate yourself from Alaina. I have a lot more in common with Christophe than you do with Alaina, and I'm having no problem disassociating myself."

"That's a little difficult when she gets called Alaina Scarlet and the Scarlet Sorceress!"

"She mostly gets called just 'Alaina' though," Gambit pointed out. "But hey, if it's bothering you that much, why not just ask Pyro to change the colour? 'Find and Replace' isn't exactly a difficult command to use."

Wanda pressed her lips together tightly as she considered that.

"Personally, I'm taking it as a compliment," Gambit went on. "I've had a big enough impact on him that I inspired a character in the story."

"Would you still feel that way if he gave you a tiny dick?" Wanda demanded.

Gambit burst out laughing and Wanda raised her eyebrows.

"The small penis rule," Gambit said, chuckling. "I forgot all about that."

"The what now?"

"The small penis rule. Basically you create a male character that is exactly like a real man, name and all, defame their character and give them a small penis because 'no man will ever want to admit he has a small penis so they won't sue'," Gambit replied with a smirk. "At least one person's actually done it. I remember reading about it."

"That must have been what Pyro was telling Pietro about the other day," Wanda said thoughtfully.

Gambit gave a shrug, not knowing what conversation she was talking about. "I'll take your word for it. Frankly, I don't really care if Pyro does give Christophe a tiny dick, I wouldn't have a case against him in court anyway. Like I said, the similarities between Christophe and me are superficial. I'm just gonna sit back, relax, and look for things to mock Pyro about."

"Like badly written sex scenes?"

"Exactly!"