A/N - So, this chapter's kind of monumental and a bit longer than usual. Loki Firefox helped heaps with schematics and a lot of Ruth's dialogue, because he's so many levels of awesome. He's the best muse a gal could ask for. And, because he asked me so nicely, I'm posting it early. So, Lokibear (ha! It's sticking!), this one's for you. :)
I'm really, really interested in people's responses to this one. I don't like to beg for feedback very often, but this is a labour of love and I write specifically to get a reaction. Even if you dislike it, let me know (and tell me why).
And now...on with the show!
Tuesday morning started for Puck like every other work day of the past week. He woke alone in his grimy hotel room, showered and shaved, grabbed a microwave breakfast and meandered out the door to face another day at work. He actually enjoyed his job, and working with Shannon was a bonus because she definitely knew her shit. However, the fact that he worked at McKinley was a double edged sword when it came to his proximity to Blaine.
He enjoyed the fact that he could catch glimpses of his best friend (could he even call him that anymore?) in the halls, but hated it at the same time because it only served to remind him of his mistake.
When he got to work, he poured a coffee for Shannon and found her in the gym, wiping down the equipment. They traded off, him taking the spray and rags, Shannon accepting the mug gratefully. She eyed him over the rim with caution, and he sighed, setting his task aside with a sigh. "What?" He asked tiredly.
"Just seein' how you're holding up," she informed him.
As he hadn't told anyone -bar Sam- that he'd screwed up and walked out on the best thing to ever happen to him because he was, essentially, afraid of rejection, Puck was confused and wary. "Fine..." He drew the word out. "Why do you ask?"
"No reason."
"Shannon."
Now it was her turn to sigh. "Just, you know, your boy is with Evans now and-"
"Hold up. What? Blaine and Sam?" He shook his head. "That is not a thing. Where would you get an idea like that?"
"The rumours started circulating on Friday. You know I don't usually buy into school gossip, but Will said the boys are actin' pretty close..."
"They're friends," he found himself arguing, though seeds of of doubt had been planted in his mind. Sam and Blaine had been pretty close when he'd gone by the house over the weekend. And Sam had been really defensive of Blaine...No. Seriously no. Sam was straight, and he knew how Puck felt; he wouldn't turn around and chase after Blaine himself. It went against their Bro Code, or something.
Did Bro Code even apply when you were interested in other guys instead of chicks? Because in that situation, everyone involved was a Bro...
He was getting off track. "Seriously, Shannon, there's nothing going on there. Sam's straight. He's just being a good friend to Blaine."
She looked skeptical but nodded, and they went about the rest of their day without any further comment on the topic. However, the same couldn't be said for the rest of the school. Despite his best efforts to ignore the rumours, everywhere he turned he heard whispers about the two senior boys being spotted coming out of janitor's closets together, hugging in the halls, even singing at one another. This continued on for the rest of the week, the stories getting more and more exaggerated as time passed.
"I totally saw them macking on each other," a mousey haired girl told her friend as they passed by the gym, clutching their books to their chests. It was a lie, naturally, not that her friend (or Puck) would know it. She'd only seen the boys talking quietly outside the library, heads bowed together as they whispered, but that wasn't anywhere near as sensational. "So hot. That trouty mouth was, like, made for kissing."
The other girl sighed and nodded, ponytail swishing from side to side. "Bet Anderson finds other uses for it, too."
They giggled, the obnoxious sound carrying down the hallway, grinding on Puck's nerves. It had been a week since he'd told Sam that he loved Blaine, and the seeds of doubt Shannon had sowed on Tuesday had sprouted into seedlings, and were rapidly growing into fast-spreading weeds. The whole school was talking about Sam and Blaine as an item, and he'd seen them canoodling together with his own eyes (but he hadn't been stalking them!) on a couple of occasions.
Anger and jealousy bubbled up inside him, and he felt betrayed by both Sam and Blaine, even though he knew he had absolutely no right to be upset with the latter. God, when had things gotten so messed up? He missed his house, he missed his Ma, he missed Bekah, he missed Blaine and he desperately missed his kid.
Yeah, okay, he knew she wasn't his, but to him she was. In all the ways that mattered. He was sick of fighting against it, sick of telling himself that she was just a friend's baby. And if he wanted to call her his kid then he would.
Except things were still crap between him and Blaine, and he couldn't figure out why. Sure, he'd just sprung his leaving on him, and had spouted off some pretty shitty reasons for it, but that had been almost two weeks ago. Shouldn't Blaine have shrugged it off by now? It wasn't as though Puck had told him that he was the reason for Puck's leaving. It had sort of been implied, though, in a round about way.
Huh. Puck's mind started drawing those parallels again, to another man who ran away when things got too much to deal with. He didn't like that at all. But he had to face the truth: it was exactly what he'd done. And if it stood to reason that Em was his kid, he'd done the unthinkable and walked out on her, too.
Puckerman genetics were obviously more than just aesthetic in value.
Noah had sworn that that particular scenario would never happen. But something inside of him had snapped. He'd had his chance and he'd blown it.
He honestly couldn't believe how badly he'd screwed up. Every relationship he'd had before now had been ended by someone else's hand: Quinn, Rachel, Lauren, Shelby. He'd been attached to each one of them in turn and yet they had all dumped him. Then he'd fallen head over heels in love with Blaine and had been too scared to even give the guy a chance to break him, terrified of being rejected by his best friend.
So instead of even testing the waters, he'd pushed Blaine away, directly into Sam's arms, then -like a fool- had spilled his secrets to the blond, thinking him a friend. This last week proved how wrong he was on that front, didn't it?
With a sigh he forced himself to focus on work, determined to get at least one thing in his life right. When the final bell for the day rang, he gathered his belongings, waved goodbye to Shannon, and steered himself in the only direction he hoped would help.
-?-I
"Oh, Noah," Ruth sighed when she arrived home after work to find her son slumped at the kitchen table, a miserable expression painted on his face. Her heart ached for him, even though she knew his own decisions had caused the hurt reflected in his eyes.
"Hey Ma," he greeted, nodding but failing to maintain the 'tough boy' act he was striving for.
She shook her head sadly and sat across from him, carding her fingers through his short hair, pleased he was still growing it. "What's wrong, sweetheart?" She rarely ever used endearments or loving epithets for him these days, but he was still her baby boy and he looked like someone had run over his puppy.
"I screwed up," he told her simply. "I...I love him and I..." He shrugged, unable to finish the statement. "Turns out I'm just like Dad."
"Noah..."
"I am! I know I am. I didn't wanna be. I told myself I'd never..." He swallowed. "But I did. I got jealous and afraid and I ran away. I just up and left and..." Puck took a shaky breath, trying to calm himself. "I hate that I'm like him. I don't want to be like him." His hands shook and he rubbed at his neck if only to hide the tremors. "And you told me not to screw it up, and I still did, and I hate that I did." He shook his head, not having felt this out of control since the day Beth had been born, when Quinn had forced him to sign the papers with a shaking hand. "I'm a disappointment, aren't I? I can't do anything right. Just. Like. Him."
She'd slapped him upside the head before he could even register it had happened.
"Ow! Ma! What the hell?" He glared at her, wondering over the change in her demeanour. What had happened to sympathy? He'd liked the sympathy.
"That's for blubberring like your Aunt Rebecca. If you can't face this here with me, how do you expect to do right by Blaine and Emily?"
"What the fu-!"
Ruth leant over and smacked him again before he could finish the sentence. "That's for cursing."
Puck rubbed at the back of his head, recalling all too quickly that his mom could sure pack a wallop. She'd had to to keep him in line all these years.
"I love you Noah, but sometimes you need a good hit on the head to get your brain to start thinking. You're not stupid, but sometimes you need reminding which brain to use. At least this time it was your heart that was overwhelming you and not your penis."
His eyes widened, "Ma!"
"What? It isn't something I haven't seen before and, if what some of the people at Temple have been saying is true, I'm not the only woman my age who has seen it either."
"Ma!" This was accompanied by a wince.
"Are you staying for dinner? You're staying for dinner." She got up from the table and started digging through the fridge and the cupboards, organising ingredients and pots on the counter. "You're nothing like your father, you know."
Puck frowned. "I-"
"Don't argue with me, Noah." Ruth turned back to face him, waving a wooden spoon emphatically in his direction. "As I said, you do things without thinking, but you're not stupid or selfish. Your father was both those things, and then some. James left because he couldn't take the pressure. He didn't want to be saddled with responsibility. You left because you thought Blaine deserved better." She wanted to tell him that it was obvious that Blaine loved him, but knew it wasn't her place. There were some things the boys needed to work out for themselves. "You don't value yourself enough, Noah. You don't give yourself enough credit. I suppose I'm partially to blame for that."
"What? No!" He couldn't believe what he was hearing. His mother had been the best parent anyone could ask for, especially for all the hell he'd put her through. She'd never once kicked him out -even after that stupid shit with the ATM- or told him that she hated or resented him, even though he'd made life difficult for longer than he could remember. She'd never failed to be honest with him or give him a reality check when he needed it, much like now. How could she ever think that his flaws were her fault?
"No, Noah, listen to me. I haven't told you enough how proud I am of you. You're going to college, Noah. College. To be a teacher! There was a time I thought...well, let's just say I underestimated you more than a mother should." She set aside the knife she was using to dice vegetables, and sighed. "But I was wrong. You are a wonderful young man, Noah. You are working hard to turn your life around. You are a great, loyal friend and a devoted, loving father. My granddaughter is lucky to have you, even if you have made a few mistakes lately." She shrugged, "It's the curse of parenting. It's not easy, and you're bound to screw up occasionally."
His eyes were wide with surprise. It was obvious that she wasn't talking about Beth, but he hadn't breathed a word to her about Emily. Admitting to his mother that he had stumbled into becoming a teen Dad a second time around was a daunting thought, and he hadn't wanted to disappoint her.
Ruth laughed at his expression. "Did you really think I didn't know that you loved him when you brought them home? That I didn't know you were going to fall in love with that baby? Noah, I knew you were going to be a father to that little girl before you said boo about them staying, whether I allowed it or not. I raised you, remember? I can read you like a book. And you were in love with Blaine Anderson back when I first questioned you about being attracted to boys. You just hadn't realised it yet."
Puck was up out of his seat and hugging his mother within seconds. "You're the best mom ever," he told her, blinking back tears, mindful of the fact that she'd hit him if he turned into a hysterical lunatic again. "Seriously." How many other moms would be cool with their Eighteen year old sons bringing home another boy and raising a baby with him?
"In that case," she handed him a vegetable peeler and nodded at the potatoes, "prove your newfound appreciation of your mother and get to work."
-?-
"So, I couldn't resist," Sam said as Blaine climbed into the passenger seat of his car, Emily already fast asleep in the carrier in the back. He'd driven Blaine to school and then work that afternoon with the plan to pick the two Andersons up from the Berry residence (Hiram would be bringing Emily home after work while Blaine rode with Leroy) and head back to the Puckerman household for a CoD night.
Blaine smiled at his friend, clicking his seatbelt. "Yeah? What this time? Another Batman comic?"
"Nope."
"Superman then."
Sam laughed and shook his head, keeping his eyes on the road. "Nuh-uh."
"Come on, Sam, what?"
"It's a surprise."
"A surprise?" Blaine's grin dimmed a little, realising that his friend must have actually purchased something for him rather than himself. "Sam, that's not fair. I hate surprises."
"Oh, you'll like this one."
"Sam..." Blaine shook his head. Sam couldn't afford to be buying random gifts any more than Blaine could. They were both living with families that weren't their own, trying to support themselves as much as possible.
Hearing his friend's hesitation, Sam cast him a quick look of reassurance before concentrating on the road again. "It's all good, dude, I didn't spend a lot."
"Shouldn't have spent anything."
"You don't even know what I bought yet!"
Blaine watched the way Sam was practically vibrating with excitement and found his own growing again. Obviously, whatever Sam had purchased was just as much for him anyway. That made Blaine feel a lot more at ease with the idea. "Fine. When do I get this surprise?"
"Soon."
"You're killing me here, Evans."
Sam laughed and they continued to banter for the next few minutes until they pulled up at the Puckerman house, neither noticing the familiar truck parked across the street. Sam pulled Emily's carrier out of the backseat and tilted his head towards the trunk. "Go on, go get your surprise."
Blaine bounded to the back of the car, exaggerating his excitement for Sam's benefit. He opened the trunk and found a package wrapped in pink. Deciding it was time to give Sam a little of his own medicine, he held the gift up. "This one?" He asked. "Should I wait and open it inside?"
"Dude! Come on!" Sam was almost bouncing on his heels, and Blaine worried that the blond would shake Emily's carrier too hard.
"Okay. Okay." He started unwrapping the packaging, careful not to tear the paper. "Oh!" He exclaimed as the box came into view, "Wow, Sam. I thought you said you didn't spend a lot? I can't accept this." It was a toy shaped like a guitar, with a panel of brightly coloured buttons down the neck that, when pressed, would produce a variety of different tunes.
"Good thing it's not for you, then." Sam lifted the carrier in his hand a little higher. "It's for this little lady." He shrugged. "And it was on sale. I couldn't resist."
Blaine clutched the box to his chest and started the walk towards the door. "It's awesome, Sam. Thank you," he gushed, stepping into the living room, his friend on his heels.
Sam set the carrier down and gave Blaine a hug. "You're totally welcome. I figured we could get her started on the instruments nice and early."
At this point, Puck emerged from the kitchen and leant against the doorframe, watching unashamedly. Neither boy clued in to his presence, too wrapped up in each other. It made Puck's chest squeeze painfully.
"So you went with guitar?" Blaine teased, stepping back. "What about the keyboard? You know I want to teach her piano pretty badly. You're totally trying to influence her into liking the guitar better."
"Oh no, you've foiled my evil plan!"
Blaine laughed. "Are you planning on teaching her to play? Because, yeah, I can play, but you're better."
Where Puck had thought it hurt to see them hugging, hearing Blaine asking Sam to be Emily's guitar teacher just about killed him. That should be his job! He had mad guitar skills. Emily was his kid. Even his Ma said so! Whether or not he and Blaine were together, he was not letting Sam take that away from him.
"Well," he drawled, finally getting their attention. "This is...sweet."
"Puck! Hi. I, uh, I didn't realise you were here." Blaine stammered, taking another step back from Sam, and it didn't go unnoticed by either of the others.
"Cool toy," he gestured at the box in Blaine's hand. "Nice choice, Evans."
Sam nodded. "Thanks. Our girl's gotta start early, right?"
Our girl? Who the hell did Sam think he was? Emily was not his. Puck fought the urge to growl at the blond, reminding himself of all the things his mother had said. He had to stop, think and fix this, for Emily. With a tight smile, he agreed. "Right." Puck shifted his attention to the snoozing baby and immediately brightened. Without asking for permission he swept down and pulled her into his arms, kissing her forehead and rocking her back to sleep when she started to wake. "Want me to put her down for the night?" He asked Blaine.
Sam's eyes widened with realisation. It looked like Puck might finally be manning up. He grinned broadly at the older boy and then turned to Blaine. "Hey, so, I know I said I'd hang around for CoD, but I just remembered that I have a thing."
Forgetting Puck for a moment, Blaine frowned at Sam. "A thing?"
"Yeah, uh, helping Mrs H do a thing. Um, yeah."
"Sam..." Blaine didn't understand. Had he missed something?
"I'm really sorry, dude. Call me tomorrow once you're home from work, okay? We'll take Em to the park like we were going to..." Sam gave him another hug, squeezing the shorter boy with a little more force than usual before he pulled back. He nodded at Puck, bid his goodbyes, and then practically ran out the door.
When Blaine turned back around, he was confronted by Puck's serious stare. "Can we talk?" Puck asked, and it almost felt like things were back to normal between them.
The curly haired boy nodded. "Upstairs? We should actually put her to bed."
Puck agreed and they made their way to the bedroom that had once been theirs. After putting Emily into her crib, the former jock gestured for his friend to sit on the bed, then started pacing.
"Okay," he began, suddenly feeling nervous. This really was it. He had to say his piece, even though he had very little chance of Blaine reciprocating his feelings now. And, God, the bedroom was suddenly a far too intimate place to be doing this. Why hadn't he said they should talk in the lounge?
Blaine watched Puck pace, a good idea of where this was heading, but not willing to speak up. He wanted to see the older boy squirm a little. For all the drama he'd caused, a little discomfort sounded like a fair price to pay.
"So, you and Sam, huh?" Puck could slap himself. Seriously? He was opening with that? This was the man that had charmed half of Lima's female population? He was so out of practice.
Blaine stared back at his friend in disbelief. Puck didn't honestly think that he and Sam were together, did he? Puck really was clueless. Worse still, it was the thought of him dating Sam that had finally pushed Puck into this conversation, which meant that Sam (damn him) had been right. He wondered how far he could take this, how far he could push Puck before he snapped and just admitted how he felt. It was probably wrong to tease, but Puck had brought this on himself. "Sam and I," he repeated, neither confirming or denying.
Puck bit his lip, reminding himself that he had no right to be upset. He needed to fix things not make them worse, even though he wanted to find Sam Evans and rearrange his face. "Right," he nodded, assuming the worst. "Well, that's...uh, great. For you guys. Excellent." And awkward. So awkward.
"Do you have a problem with Sam, Puck?"
"I...no. I mean, I told him...and then..." He was babbling again. He paused and bit his lip. He had to be honest, right? Even if it was going to all end in tears. "No, okay, you know what? I kind of do. Because I told him that I was in love with you and the next thing I know, he's all over you and that's kind of a douche move on his part." Blaine moved to say something, but Puck wasn't done yet. He held his hand out to silence the younger boy. "I gotta finish this, okay? I know I don't have the right to be upset about it, 'cos, like, what I did...it was a douche move, too. I got scared and I fucked up. So, y'know, I'm glad he's there for you. Even if I kind of hate him for it. But I'm too late, and that's my fault, so..." he trailed off. "Hey, are you laughing?"
Blaine's shoulders shook as he tried to reel in his amusement. He knew it was cruel of him to react this way when Puck was very clearly pouring his heart out, but he still couldn't believe that the guy honestly thought that Sam and he were dating. "I'm sorry, Noah."
Embarrassment sinking in, Puck scowled and backed away towards the door. "Right. Laugh it up. I tell you I love you and you laugh in my face. Nice."
"Puck, no, wait, come back." Blaine was standing now, grabbing at Puck's arm, trying to get him to turn around. "I'm laughing because you're still so stupid."
"What? That's supposed to be helping right now?" Puck shook his head. "I'm outta here."
"No! I'm not explaining this properly. Puck, I'm not 'with' Sam. He's straight. And even if he wasn't, I wouldn't be with him. Want to know why?"
Heart starting to beat incredibly fast, Puck swallowed and nodded.
Blaine took another step closer, invading Puck's personal space. "Because I'm in love with a gorgeous, talented, usually smart guy who, recently, has said and done some pretty stupid things."
"You..." Puck licked his lips. "Really?"
Blaine contemplated a sarcastic 'No, Puck, I'm lying', but, seeing the hopeful and bewildered expression on Puck's face, opted against it. "Really," he replied softly. "But I don't know if that's enough, Puck. If it was just me, sure, but I have to think of Emily. She's my number one priority. And I need people in my life who understand that."
"I do. I totally do. I love her, Blaine, and I miss her, and I can't imagine living my life without either of you in it. I made a huge mistake, and I've beaten myself up over it ever since. I won't be walking out the door again, I swear, even when things get tough."
Blaine smiled at that, his eyes glittering with happiness, and Puck found himself leaning forward, closing the space between them. And then his mother knocked on the damn door, declaring dinner ready. Blaine sprang backwards, flustered, and Puck sighed heavily. Awesome though she might be, he couldn't help but curse her.
"Worst timing ever." He grumbled, following Blaine down the hall.
Blaine shot him a look over his shoulder. "Are you going to stay around after dinner? Maybe talk some more?"
Puck nodded. "There is nowhere else I'd rather be."
Blaine smiled and, as he was turning away, Puck called out. "Blaine?"
The shorter boy turned back with a question on his face. Puck took a deep breath and he saw Blaine's brow begin to furrow. He plowed forward immediately; this was important. "I know we just kinda made up and it may be too soon to ask for favours but I gotta ask."
"Sure, Puck," Blaine allowed, mind whirring with all the possibilities. "What is it?"
"Please let me be the one to teach Em how to play the guitar, otherwise I think I might have to strangle Sam after all."
Blaine's brows rose in surprise before his expression melted into a smile that made everything Puck had been through worth it. But then he turned back around, ignoring the question with a smirk.
As Blaine walked down to the kitchen without answering, Puck called out after him, "I'm totally serious about this! Blaine? Babe?"
-?-
After dinner the boys went back up to the bedroom, both lost in thought, wondering what the next logical step was. Puck was hesitant to say anything that might ruin the ground he'd regained, still so worried that Blaine would realise that forgiving him was a stupid move. Blaine wanted to tell Puck that he should move back home, but wondered if that was too forward and clingy. They both started to speak at the same time, standing awkwardly in front of the bed.
"I-"
"Blaine-"
Emily, naturally, chose that moment to wake up, make a spluttering sound and vomit all over herself, bursting into a distressed wail immediately afterwards. Anything Blaine was going to say was immediately forgotten, his attention solely on his daughter. He moved forward to take her, but Puck shook his head, somehow beating him to the crib.
"I got this," the older boy said. Making soothing sounds, he shifted her to his shoulder, not bothered about the transference of sick to his shirt, just concerned with making the baby feel better. The baby bath and a majority of her supplies were in the room, so he moved by way of habit, lying her down in the middle of his bed while he stripped the soiled clothes from her squirming body, wiping the edges of her mouth tenderly. He boxed her in with pillows and grabbed the plastic tub that lived under her crib, handing it to Blaine in a way that was all-too-familiar.
He pulled his own shirt off after Blaine had left to go fill the tub with lukewarm water and discarded it in the same direction as the baby's clothing, resolved to do a load of washing later. Within moments he was clad in a new shirt and was rifling through Emily's things, pulling out a new sleeper, diaper, wipes and powder. He slung the supplies under his arm and then picked Emily up, holding her snug against his shoulder, resting his cheek against hers, murmuring endearments.
He walked into the bathroom just as Blaine finished making the tub up and stabilising it on the counter, their usual bottle of baby cleanser within reach. Blaine dampened a soft washcloth and brought it up to Emily's face, wiping it clean of the remaining traces of her vomit and runny nose. Puck set her down on the towel on the counter, unfastening her diaper. She squirmed as he wiped her clean before passing her to Blaine, who lowered her into the warm water, where she seemed to relax almost instantly. They washed her together as they always had, using the soft washcloth and a little bit of the cleanser, Puck's large hand scooping up water from the tub and rinsing her off.
"I read that she's old enough to take a bath with her now," Blaine said, filling the semi-awkward silence that permeated the room. "The books say that it's good for bonding. Something about skin-to-skin contact."
Puck knew the comment wasn't at all sexual, but his mind immediately flew to Blaine naked and in the bath, skin glistening, Emily nowhere in sight. Skin-to-skin contact with Blaine would be great for him, too, he mused, before giving himself a mental slap. What the hell was wrong with him? Things had been mended with Blaine for less than two hours! He didn't even know where they stood yet. Were they back to friends? Were they more? Either way, he didn't think it was the time or place to be thinking those things.
"That'd be cool," he eventually forced out, putting himself into the same headspace as Blaine. And the more he thought of it, the more he actually agreed that it did sound good, being able to connect with his kid like that. Not that Blaine knew that he actually thought of Emily as his kid. Damnit. He was getting ahead of himself again.
Blaine smiled and lifted Emily out of the bath when the water started to cool, putting her straight onto the towel and wrapping her up just like Ruth had taught them all those weeks earlier. He patted her dry, careful to stay gentle and not rub, before smoothing a mild moisturising lotion over her little body and dressing her for bed. He yawned as he lifted her up into his embrace, kissing her forehead.
"Dude," Puck said, his hand finding its place at the small of Blaine's back before he could stop himself, "You look wrecked. We'll put her down and then you should crash for a bit. I'll clean up here." He gave his friend a tender shove out the door. "We'll talk later, okay?"
When he made it back into his room, both Emily and Blaine were asleep in their usual places. His heart beat a little faster at the sight, and he promised himself that he'd do his best to make sure that this was how things would stay.
He debated his next move for a few moments, before giving in to temptation and crawling into bed beside Blaine, propped up on his elbow, content to watch the other boy sleep. And then, without meaning to, he drifted off himself, more relaxed than he'd been since before the night he'd done the unthinkable.
Blaine woke up a few hours later, refreshed by the nap. He was disorientated at first, but took in the familiar arm and leg that had pinned him to the mattress and felt a part of himself melt with happiness. Granted, this was the first time he'd ever found himself in this position when they'd been fully clothed, but it was just as enjoyable as all the other times. Perhaps even more so, now that he didn't have to feel guilty for enjoying it. The arm around him tightened its hold and pulled him flush against the taller boy's chest, and Blaine registered that Noah was also slowly coming back to consciousness. He closed his eyes, not exactly feigning sleep, but curious to see how Noah would react to their familiar position.
Puck woke up groggily, eyes adjusting to the darkness of his room, semi-startled as he realised that he'd fallen asleep and proceded to wrap himself around the object of his affections as they napped. He swallowed roughly, curling himself as tightly around Blaine as he could without waking him, savouring the moment. Once Blaine woke up, they'd have to talk things through, and that might mean that waking up like this would be a thing of the past. He pressed a kiss to the top of Blaine's hair, thankful that it wasn't a god-awful gel helmet, and sighed shakily. "I've missed this the most," he confessed by whisper into the darkness, confident because he thought Blaine was asleep. "I was a fucking idiot."
Blaine couldn't take it anymore. The warm embrace that spoke more about Puck's feelings than words ever could, coupled with the kiss to his head, had almost been his undoing. But when Puck's voice, so genuine and emotive, started whispering about his regret, he knew he couldn't allow the older boy to continue to believe that he was asleep. He hesitated half a moment, keeping his eyes closed, giving himself one last chance to back out and try to salvage a friendship rather than try and take things further. But his heart wanted what it wanted -as did his body, he was a hormonal teenager after all- and he bit the bullet. "Yeah, you really were." Puck tensed up and Blaine rolled over, still confined by the older boy's limbs, putting them almost nose-to-nose. "Hi," he greeted, somewhat shyly.
Puck blinked, not exactly processing what had just happened. One second Blaine had been asleep, the next he was rightthere, expressive golden-brown eyes shining with unshed tears, hope and -Puck hoped that the entire evening hadn't been a dream- love. "Uh...hi?"
"Hi." Blaine said again.
Puck swallowed again, the proximity to Blaine's lips providing a visual and mental distraction that wasn't helping him in terms of keeping his original planned conversation on track. He shifted as his jeans quickly became uncomfortably tight, unintentionally grinding against Blaine and discovering that the other boy was just as affected by their position. They moaned almost in unison, and then all bets were off as far as Puck was concerned.
He dove in for the kiss, slanting his lips over Blaine's as the shorter boy responded eagerly. He didn't have the time -or compulsion- to really think about the subtle differences between kissing a guy instead of a girl, too wrapped up in just how good the kiss felt, how right it felt. Their tongues met and Puck felt a jolt of pleasure, pure and primal and raw, course through him, igniting a fire in his veins. He groaned, rocking his hips forward as he hooked his leg around Blaine's impressive ass, preventing him from pulling away. And, holymotherofGod, why had he wasted so much time when they could have been doing this all along? Without the layers of clothing between them! The thought almost short-circuited his brain and it took a whole world of self-control to pull back and not spend himself in his jeans like a fourteen year old.
Panting, Puck pulled out of the kiss and stared at Blaine in wonder. "Not that I'm complaining," he managed to choke out, even while his entire body was demanding that he finish what they'd just started, "But...what...this...you...I'm..." He licked his now swollen lips, gesturing between himself and Blaine, taking a steadying breath. "What's actually happening here? 'Cos, y'know, epic douche here, remember?"
Blaine's cheeks flushed with both arousal and embarrassment, and he sighed. Openandhonest, he reminded himself. It wouldn't be fair to start a relationship if they weren't on the same page. "I...I overheard you talking to Sam last week," he confessed. "In the gym. I heard everything. So I've had a while to process before today."
Puck's smile fell. "So, what's this then? Obligation? Pity?" He tried pulling back, feeling humiliation seeping into his bones.
Blaine held strong. "God no. Puck...Noah, I meant what I said earlier. I love you, okay? And I was hurt when you walked out, especially because I didn't understand why. I thought maybe you'd worked out how I felt about you and flipped out. And then I heard you tell Sam that you've been struggling with the exact same thing I have, and I felt so stupid because we've both spent the last few months so wrapped up in thinking about keeping the feelings hidden that we missed seeing how reciprocated they are." With a burst of confidence, he thrust his own hips forward, pushing Puck onto his back, straddling him and grinding down. "And they are so, so reciprocated."
"Jesus, Blaine." From his new position Puck brought one of his hands up to the back of Blaine's head, tangling his fingers in the fine curls, pulling the boy's head down for another kiss. This one was more demanding than their first, and he found his other hand gripping at Blaine's hip, pulling him closer, seeking more friction. "You don't wanna take things slow?" He somehow managed to ask, meeting Blaine's gaze.
"Slow?" Blaine shook his head, taking the opportunity to duck down and suck at the tanned clavicle presented to him now that Puck's shirt had shifted slightly, smirking at the groan his action elicited. "What do you call the last three months atleast, Puck?" He hadn't thought it would be quite so difficult to convince Noah -of all people- to move things along quickly now that they'd both admitted to being stubborn, stupid and in love with each other. He found Puck's sudden determination to be a gentleman both endearing and frustrating. He leant down and whispered hotly into Puck's ear, "I've thought about having you in this position since my first night here."
Puck bucked his hips at the admission, inhaling sharply. "Fuck, Blaine."
"Kind of what I'm aiming for right now." Blaine pressed his hips downward again to illustrate his point.
Puck felt his brain turn to goo. Since when was Blaine the forceful type? Not that he was complaining. This confident, direct, somewhat domineering version of the other boy was 'Capital H' Hot. "But...Em-"
"Is fast asleep. And we can be quiet."
Puck couldn't believe what he was hearing. At some point he figured he was going to wake up in his shitty motel room wearing a pair of sticky boxers, because no way was this actually happening. "Who are you and what have you done with my dapper best friend?" He asked, breath hitching when Blaine only laughed quietly and started laving at his neck and jaw with a tongue that seemed way too flexible to really exist. Puck eventually gave in to temptation, meeting Blaine's lips for another kiss, allowing his hands to squeeze and stroke at every bit of Blaine he could reach, taking note of the younger boy's reactions as he explored the new territory.
When Blaine sat back on his haunches, knees astride Puck's muscular thighs, his hands flew to the hem of the older boy's shirt. He locked eyes with Puck once more. "You're okay with this?" He asked, "Because I know you've never...I mean, with another guy, and-"
"I'm good," Noah nodded, "More than good." Blaine grinned and tugged at the shirt, and Puck arched up, bringing his arms up to help yank the offending item off, tossing it God-only-knew where. He preened a little under Blaine's appreciative stare, swallowing roughly as the other boy's hands ran over his abdomen. "Hey, I'm not the only one getting naked here," he murmured, pulling at Blaine's shirt when the curly haired boy leant in for another kiss. "We're a little uneven."
"Can't have that," Blaine agreed, sitting up and removing his shirt swiftly, sending it flying in the same direction as Puck's.
Puck pulled him down for another kiss, groaning at the feel of skin-on-skin when their chests met, Blaine stretching out on top of him. "I could get used to this," Noah murmured as more clothing disappeared, hands fumbling with belt buckles along the way. Soon enough they were stretched out on their sides, facing each other in only their boxers, a position that was so familiar and yet brand new.
Despite how urgent their actions had been mere minutes earlier, now divested of the layers that had separated them the teens slowed down, kissing languidly, their hands roaming freely. The air was permeated with breathy sighs and the occasional gasp or sharp inhalation, Blaine giggling when Puck found the ticklish spot at his waist.
"So gonna use that to my advantage," the former jock promised with a grin, and Blaine rolled his eyes, shifting his hands to the waistband of his boyfriend's boxers.
"You really want to threaten me right now?" He questioned, arching an eyebrow.
"Uh...no?"
"That'd be the right choice."
They kissed again, pressing up close, underwear finally disappearing, both men revelling in the slide of sweat-slicked skin and the heat radiating outwards from each other. After quietly asking if Puck was still clean (he knew the other boy used to get regular medicals) Blaine took great pleasure in finally being able to lick a trail down Puck's abdomen, his hands wandering, and Puck found himself unravelling quickly from there, foggy brain deciding that Blaine's ministrations were better than anything he'd experienced before.
And this was just the beginning, he realised with a start, drawing Blaine back up to his mouth, his hand sliding down between them to lazily return the favour and take Blaine over the edge, swallowing the boy's satiated moans with another kiss.
There was so much more to experience with Blaine, so much that he had absolutely no history with, save for a few short google excursions when he'd realised that his feelings for his best friend were more than platonic. And if watching those 'educational' videos had left him short of breath, he knew he was going to enjoy the learning curve. Practice would make perfect, right?
Afterwards they slumped together, Blaine's head pillowed on Puck's chest, the older boy toying idly with his curly hair, each willing their heart rates to return to normal.
"That was...wow." Puck said softly. "I...you're amazing, Blaine."
Blaine smiled and pressed a chaste kiss on the smooth expanse of skin beneath his face. "You're not so bad yourself," he teased. Admittedly, he'd been terrified that Puck wouldn't enjoy being with him, that he would realise that his attraction wasn't as intense as he'd thought, that he really did prefer girls. But Blaine needn't have worried; Puck had been responsive and eager, and that had calmed his concerns. "Move back home?" The question tumbled out before he could stop it and he cursed himself for sounding so clingy so soon. The hand in Blaine's hair stilled, and he panicked. "Or don't. I mean, of course you need time to actually think about us, because this is probably really different and, I don't know, weird for you, and-"
"Blaine, shut up." Puck peered down at his boyfriend (whoa, that felt bizarre to think, but awesome nonetheless) and shook his head. "I'm not going anywhere again. I'm moving back in first thing tomorrow. Em needs both her dads right here."
Blaine blinked, a whole new level of warmth blossoming in his chest. He couldn't find the words to express himself or his love for the man he was snuggled up against. He propped himself up on his arm and kissed Puck with all he had, hoping the action conveyed what words could not.
Squeezing Blaine tightly to let him know the message was received, Puck waited a beat before asking, "Does this mean I get to teach her to play the guitar?"