-Rated R for- Drama, Language, Slash, Sexual Content
-Spoilers- All five books.
-Summery- This is a Harry/Draco fic that happens in the sixth year. Draco
finds out that sometimes feelings are mixed up.
***
-To chaos- Despite your beliefs, I do care and I want to keep a person that I don't know happy! So Ha! Proved you wrong and here's another chapter. ^_^
~*~
Hidden Desires
Chapter 10
Secrets
Draco put his tongue over his own lips tasting the lingering aftertaste of Harry. He gave Harry a meaningful look and took a step back so they weren't as close.
"As much as I want this to happen, this doesn't seem like the place.." Draco whispered and began to walk away.
Harry stood there blankly still surprised at himself. A million thoughts had crossed his mind in those few brief seconds. He shook his head and came back to reality. He immediately began to walk in the opposite direction. "What the hell was I thinking?" he asked himself. He had a sickening unpleasant feeling in his stomach.
He didn't do well in class at all. His train of thought was completely lost. It was an especially bad Potions class because Ron avoiding all eye contact with him and everytime he glanced up at Draco, the other boy seemed to ignore him as well. He wondered if it was all a big joke.
Later at dinner time (he had completely skipped lunch) Harry sauntered into the Great Hall and took a seat next to Hermione but he didn't touch the food on his plate. She stared at him with curiousity. "Harry, what's the matter with you? You've been in some kind of strange daze the entire day!"
He raised his eyebrows. "I can't talk about it, Hermione. Maybe later."
She shook her head. "No Harry, we talk after dinner. You're going to tell me what's up."
"We can't talk about this, Hermione," he muttered.
"Harry, right now I am your bestfriend," she cast a weary glance in Ron's direction. "If something is wrong I can do my best to help you. Unless it's some kind of strange boy thing.. But I thought you would have gone through those puberty things for boy's already.."
Harry shifted in his seat. "No, it's not a puberty thing," he said rather loud. "I have detention anyway, so bye." He got up and slowly walked away.
She watched him in confusion. "I need to figure this out," she thought.
-
Draco stood outside of the library in a darkened corner. He was growing impatient and began tapping his foot.
Finally Pansy rushed out. "Oh! Hi Draco! I was just going to go look for you."
"What the bloody hell were you doing in the library?" he asked in a harsh manner. "It took you forever!"
She giggled. "Snogging Cho in the Magical Creatures section?" This just made him glare at her. "Oh, you act as if you have a wand stuck up your ass!" His eyes then widened. She sighed, "Well if you want the truth. I was doing some reading."
"Oh? You know how?"
"Shut up!" she said with a laugh. "If you act like that, I am not going to tell you about what I found out. It's awfully interesting too."
"Okay. Okay! I'm sorry," he mumbled.
"That's better!" she said with a grin. "Want to hear what I found out?"
"Yes."
"Okay, well get this.." she began. "You know your whole situation with Mr. Potter?"
"How can I not know?"
"Shut up. Anyway, I was doing some reading up on your theory about what is making you have feelings for Harry. And guess what! It's totally wrong."
"What? Then what is it?" he asked looking worried.
"Let me explain first! The only way that a mother or father can have that kind of power is if they are going to try to sacrifice themselves or some kind of act that displays their huge love for their child. Therefore, your mother words or anything your mother has done is not making you love Harry."
"Then why am I feeling like this? What's making me do it?"
She saw the panic in his eyes. "Calm down," she said softly.
"I can't! Tell me, Pansy. Please, just tell me.."
"Draco, nothing is making you love him."
It was as if someone had punched him in the stomach. His felt unsteady and almost collapsed but Pansy gripped his shoulders tightly. "Draco, it's not that bad!"
"You mean.. Everything I have been doing is just my own freewill?"
"Your freewill cannot control your feelings for him. Love and freewill are two different things."
Draco's mouth dropped.
He loved Harry..
-
Harry stood outside of the Potions' dungeon doorway with his arms crossed over his chest. He had noticed that it had been harder for him to breathe as each minute passed. His body was tense and he was shivering despite the fact that it wasn't even cold down there. His anxiousness was almost overbearing.
Finally he heard footsteps nearby and saw for the first time, one of the most beautiful people that he had never taken time to notice before. The light from the lanterns lit up Draco's face and the expression that he wore made Harry shift uncomfortably.
Draco stopped dead in his tracks when he noticed Harry standing there staring at him. Harry approached him quietly and just looked at him. He had forgotten everything he had wanted to say.
"We have detention.." Draco mumbled.
"I know," Harry said but his voice was distant.
"Is something wrong?" Draco asked. He knew this was a stupid question. Everything was wrong at the moment. The way he felt was wrong. The way that Harry was staring at him in such confusion was wrong.
Harry nodded. "There is. But I don't know what it is."
"Maybe it's because Snape will be really pissed if we skip detention. Because at the rate we're going, it doesn't seem like either of us is moving."
"What's detention for another week?" Harry asked and took his eyes off of Draco and looked over at the door.
Draco looked at the door also but then took Harry's hand and dragged him in the other direction. "We can't talk while cleaning some other ridiculously dirty floor or something of the sort. And like you said, what is detention for another week? Or two?"
"Where are we going?" asked Harry.
"We're going for a walk somewhere quiet and as far away from Snape and everyone else."
They had been walking for a while until they finally reached the most abandoned corridor they could find.
Draco stopped walking then turned to Harry who seemed to be shaking. "What's wrong?" the Slytherin boy asked with what seemed to be a concerned look on his face. Harry couldn't ever really remember seeing him look this way. He took one of Harry's hands into his and felt it, "Ah, you're frozen but it's not cold here."
Harry shrugged it off and took his hand out of the other boy's then took a step backwards. Being too close was making him have that same uncomfortable feeling in his stomach.
"From the way you were acting, I assumed you wanted to talk. Don't start acting like a tongue-tied idiot," He took a few steps towards the wall and sat down. He put his back against the wall and supported his arm on his knee then used his other hand and patted the floor next to himself. "Sit," he commanded.
Harry still stood there blankly staring at the other boy. Finally he walked over and sat down next to Draco.
"Okay then," Draco said as he arched his eyebrow. "Let's.. talk." Harry couldn't help but to notice how perfect his eyebrows were.
"What the hell are you looking at, Potter?" asked Draco with a completely puzzled expression.
"Um.." This question caught Harry off guard. Before really thinking he said, "Your eyebrows."
"What about them?" Draco asked with a smirk.
"They're just.. well, you raise them a lot," Harry said flatly.
"Starting to notice my traits," Draco noted. "Not a good sign."
The Gryffindor boy's cheeks were abnormally pink at this point. He didn't respond to Draco's last comment.
"Right then. Other then my annoying facial expressions, let's talk." At this point Harry noticed that Draco was starting to look nervous about something.
"What's up?" asked Harry.
"Well first I want to ask you something," Draco said as Harry nodded. "I kissed you this morning and well, you kissed me back. I want to know why."
Harry shook his head. The light reflected off his own brilliant emerald eyes which made him even more striking to Draco. Draco didn't understand why he was having these feelings for the other boy and wasn't sure if he wanted to admit that he was doing this without being under some sort of spell or enchantment.
"I don't know," Harry mumbled. "It pissed me off a lot that I did. I don't know what the hell is happening to me. I mean, we know that your feelings and that everything so far hasn't been genuine.. Because you don't have any control over them.." At this point Harry was looking hurt.
Draco bit his lower. "About that.. That's not real."
Harry's jaw dropped. "What the hell?" he asked jumping to his feet. "You were lying? I knew I couldn't trust you!"
Draco quickly stood and grabbed Harry by the shoulders. "Everything so far has been genuine except for that. I only said it because I didn't understand. I still don't understand! Why the hell do I look at you and just think about.." he stopped.
"Think about what?" Harry asked looking horrified.
"That doesn't matter! I just don't know! I'm not even sure when this started."
"You're sure this has nothing to do with what your mother said?" Harry asked.
"I'm positive. Pansy read up about it said that a parent can only hold that kind of magic when they are going to do some great act of love like sacrifice themselves or something like that."
Harry suddenly shoved Draco. "What the hell? Pansy knows about this?"
Draco rubbed his own chest where Harry had shoved him. He looked away from the other. "Don't worry. She won't tell anyone.."
The Gryffindor put a hand through his messy raven black hair looking furious. "I can't believe you told that little bitch!"
Frowning, Draco looked up at Harry. "She's not a bitch. She's better than what you think! She's been helping me out with this. If it wasn't for her, I would still be clueless."
"If she's that great, why don't you just go out with her again?" Harry said with a sneer.
"Whatever, Harry. You don't even know her. Look at your ex-girlfriend! Now that's a stupid little bitch right there," Draco said harshly with a roll of his eyes.
"She's not that bad.." Harry mumbled. "She's not as stupid as I am.."
"Yeah right," Draco said darkly.
"You know, that's how this all started. It was on the train and I was with Cho," Draco shuddered at the sound of her name when it came out of Harry's mouth, "And you came along and got your knickers all in a twist with jealousy," Harry said plainly.
The Slytherin boy gave his typical sneer. "First of all, I don't wear knickers and second of all, I wasn't jealous."
"Right, Draco. Like I believe that."
"Okay, so maybe I was jealous. So what? I think you were jealous just now when I told you that Pansy knew about this!" Draco said looking victorious.
"I don't give a shit if you have a girlfriend or whatever, Draco. I was just angry because you told her about it! This is embarrassing!" Harry said.
"Embarrassing? You think this is embarrassing for you? How do you think I feel? I'm the one who started this. Plus, I still have these damn feelings that you haven't completely returned to me yet," Draco said while his voice flickered. "No matter who knows about it, I'm still alone in this."
Harry took Draco and pulled him close so their faces were only centimeters apart. "What do you want from me, Draco?" Draco's mouth opened as if he was going respond but did nothing. His expression dimmed and he looked very sullen. "What do you want?" asked Harry again. He then slammed Draco up against the wall making him yell in pain. "What exactly do you want? Because I kissed you already. I don't know what else I need to do to show you that I care."
Draco groaned. His back was feeling very sore and Harry's nails were digging into his shoulders. He then shoved Harry away. "What the fuck is wrong with you, Harry?" he said at the top of his voice. "You're saying that you somehow care for me and then you kick my ass? I'm not some fucking masochist that you can punish! You can't take your feelings out on me just because you're as screwed up as I am."
Harry's face softened. "I'm.. sorry," he muttered. "You don't know how mad I am at myself now."
Draco looked annoyed. "Of course I know how mad you at yourself. That is how I have been feeling all along but I still had that slight hope that you would change your hate for me and turn it to something positive," he said in what was faint whisper, "Not some sick infatuation. I don't want you to care because you're feeling obligated and I don't want this to be as complicated as it has been so far. Just because of a.. stupid kiss this morning.." it was hard for Draco to call the kiss stupid when it didn't seem anything of the sort to him.
Harry stared at Draco. "Maybe we can both forget it ever happened.." Draco began but was interuppted as Harry grabbed his collar and pulled him closer.
"We'll forget it later.." said the black haired boy gently putting his hands on Draco's face. His hands were rough compared to the other boy's soft milky smooth skin. He put his mouth against the other boy's in what seemed to be an act of desperation.
Draco put his hands on the Harry's waist and brought their bodies even closer. His tongue entered into the other's boy familiarly sweet tasting mouth and was engulfed with warmth and pleasure. He found that his curious hands were roaming up and down the other boy's slender yet very well built body. Somehow he found himself on the cold hard floor with Harry's body arched over him leaning in for another kiss. Draco automatically began unbuttoning the Gryffindor boy's shirt. He grew impatient with the buttons and somehow maneuvered it off his body.
Harry unbuttoned Draco's shirt as well and pulled it off of him. The feeling of their skin so close together was electrifying. Harry found that Draco was undoing his pants and suddenly stopped the kiss and pulled away. "Woah.." He tried to catch his breath as he stood there with a bare chest in shock of what almost just happened. "We.. we can't do that. Not now. Not here.."
Draco looked rather disappointed but nodded in agreement. "Damn it, Malfoy," said Harry. "You ripped my shirt off of me." The Slytherin boy looked embarrassed at first but noticed the grin on Harry's face. He picked up his own shirt and began to put it on when he noticed something very orange out the corner of his eye. He turned to see what it was and literally gasped.
Harry too turned to see what Draco saw. Ron was standing there with the most horrified disgusted look on his face.
"What the fuck, Harry?" He yelled.
The End of Chapter 10! -=-
Strange chapter, I know! But what will Harry and Draco do if Ron decides to spread the news about their affair around the school?
Please Review!
***
-To chaos- Despite your beliefs, I do care and I want to keep a person that I don't know happy! So Ha! Proved you wrong and here's another chapter. ^_^
~*~
Hidden Desires
Chapter 10
Secrets
Draco put his tongue over his own lips tasting the lingering aftertaste of Harry. He gave Harry a meaningful look and took a step back so they weren't as close.
"As much as I want this to happen, this doesn't seem like the place.." Draco whispered and began to walk away.
Harry stood there blankly still surprised at himself. A million thoughts had crossed his mind in those few brief seconds. He shook his head and came back to reality. He immediately began to walk in the opposite direction. "What the hell was I thinking?" he asked himself. He had a sickening unpleasant feeling in his stomach.
He didn't do well in class at all. His train of thought was completely lost. It was an especially bad Potions class because Ron avoiding all eye contact with him and everytime he glanced up at Draco, the other boy seemed to ignore him as well. He wondered if it was all a big joke.
Later at dinner time (he had completely skipped lunch) Harry sauntered into the Great Hall and took a seat next to Hermione but he didn't touch the food on his plate. She stared at him with curiousity. "Harry, what's the matter with you? You've been in some kind of strange daze the entire day!"
He raised his eyebrows. "I can't talk about it, Hermione. Maybe later."
She shook her head. "No Harry, we talk after dinner. You're going to tell me what's up."
"We can't talk about this, Hermione," he muttered.
"Harry, right now I am your bestfriend," she cast a weary glance in Ron's direction. "If something is wrong I can do my best to help you. Unless it's some kind of strange boy thing.. But I thought you would have gone through those puberty things for boy's already.."
Harry shifted in his seat. "No, it's not a puberty thing," he said rather loud. "I have detention anyway, so bye." He got up and slowly walked away.
She watched him in confusion. "I need to figure this out," she thought.
-
Draco stood outside of the library in a darkened corner. He was growing impatient and began tapping his foot.
Finally Pansy rushed out. "Oh! Hi Draco! I was just going to go look for you."
"What the bloody hell were you doing in the library?" he asked in a harsh manner. "It took you forever!"
She giggled. "Snogging Cho in the Magical Creatures section?" This just made him glare at her. "Oh, you act as if you have a wand stuck up your ass!" His eyes then widened. She sighed, "Well if you want the truth. I was doing some reading."
"Oh? You know how?"
"Shut up!" she said with a laugh. "If you act like that, I am not going to tell you about what I found out. It's awfully interesting too."
"Okay. Okay! I'm sorry," he mumbled.
"That's better!" she said with a grin. "Want to hear what I found out?"
"Yes."
"Okay, well get this.." she began. "You know your whole situation with Mr. Potter?"
"How can I not know?"
"Shut up. Anyway, I was doing some reading up on your theory about what is making you have feelings for Harry. And guess what! It's totally wrong."
"What? Then what is it?" he asked looking worried.
"Let me explain first! The only way that a mother or father can have that kind of power is if they are going to try to sacrifice themselves or some kind of act that displays their huge love for their child. Therefore, your mother words or anything your mother has done is not making you love Harry."
"Then why am I feeling like this? What's making me do it?"
She saw the panic in his eyes. "Calm down," she said softly.
"I can't! Tell me, Pansy. Please, just tell me.."
"Draco, nothing is making you love him."
It was as if someone had punched him in the stomach. His felt unsteady and almost collapsed but Pansy gripped his shoulders tightly. "Draco, it's not that bad!"
"You mean.. Everything I have been doing is just my own freewill?"
"Your freewill cannot control your feelings for him. Love and freewill are two different things."
Draco's mouth dropped.
He loved Harry..
-
Harry stood outside of the Potions' dungeon doorway with his arms crossed over his chest. He had noticed that it had been harder for him to breathe as each minute passed. His body was tense and he was shivering despite the fact that it wasn't even cold down there. His anxiousness was almost overbearing.
Finally he heard footsteps nearby and saw for the first time, one of the most beautiful people that he had never taken time to notice before. The light from the lanterns lit up Draco's face and the expression that he wore made Harry shift uncomfortably.
Draco stopped dead in his tracks when he noticed Harry standing there staring at him. Harry approached him quietly and just looked at him. He had forgotten everything he had wanted to say.
"We have detention.." Draco mumbled.
"I know," Harry said but his voice was distant.
"Is something wrong?" Draco asked. He knew this was a stupid question. Everything was wrong at the moment. The way he felt was wrong. The way that Harry was staring at him in such confusion was wrong.
Harry nodded. "There is. But I don't know what it is."
"Maybe it's because Snape will be really pissed if we skip detention. Because at the rate we're going, it doesn't seem like either of us is moving."
"What's detention for another week?" Harry asked and took his eyes off of Draco and looked over at the door.
Draco looked at the door also but then took Harry's hand and dragged him in the other direction. "We can't talk while cleaning some other ridiculously dirty floor or something of the sort. And like you said, what is detention for another week? Or two?"
"Where are we going?" asked Harry.
"We're going for a walk somewhere quiet and as far away from Snape and everyone else."
They had been walking for a while until they finally reached the most abandoned corridor they could find.
Draco stopped walking then turned to Harry who seemed to be shaking. "What's wrong?" the Slytherin boy asked with what seemed to be a concerned look on his face. Harry couldn't ever really remember seeing him look this way. He took one of Harry's hands into his and felt it, "Ah, you're frozen but it's not cold here."
Harry shrugged it off and took his hand out of the other boy's then took a step backwards. Being too close was making him have that same uncomfortable feeling in his stomach.
"From the way you were acting, I assumed you wanted to talk. Don't start acting like a tongue-tied idiot," He took a few steps towards the wall and sat down. He put his back against the wall and supported his arm on his knee then used his other hand and patted the floor next to himself. "Sit," he commanded.
Harry still stood there blankly staring at the other boy. Finally he walked over and sat down next to Draco.
"Okay then," Draco said as he arched his eyebrow. "Let's.. talk." Harry couldn't help but to notice how perfect his eyebrows were.
"What the hell are you looking at, Potter?" asked Draco with a completely puzzled expression.
"Um.." This question caught Harry off guard. Before really thinking he said, "Your eyebrows."
"What about them?" Draco asked with a smirk.
"They're just.. well, you raise them a lot," Harry said flatly.
"Starting to notice my traits," Draco noted. "Not a good sign."
The Gryffindor boy's cheeks were abnormally pink at this point. He didn't respond to Draco's last comment.
"Right then. Other then my annoying facial expressions, let's talk." At this point Harry noticed that Draco was starting to look nervous about something.
"What's up?" asked Harry.
"Well first I want to ask you something," Draco said as Harry nodded. "I kissed you this morning and well, you kissed me back. I want to know why."
Harry shook his head. The light reflected off his own brilliant emerald eyes which made him even more striking to Draco. Draco didn't understand why he was having these feelings for the other boy and wasn't sure if he wanted to admit that he was doing this without being under some sort of spell or enchantment.
"I don't know," Harry mumbled. "It pissed me off a lot that I did. I don't know what the hell is happening to me. I mean, we know that your feelings and that everything so far hasn't been genuine.. Because you don't have any control over them.." At this point Harry was looking hurt.
Draco bit his lower. "About that.. That's not real."
Harry's jaw dropped. "What the hell?" he asked jumping to his feet. "You were lying? I knew I couldn't trust you!"
Draco quickly stood and grabbed Harry by the shoulders. "Everything so far has been genuine except for that. I only said it because I didn't understand. I still don't understand! Why the hell do I look at you and just think about.." he stopped.
"Think about what?" Harry asked looking horrified.
"That doesn't matter! I just don't know! I'm not even sure when this started."
"You're sure this has nothing to do with what your mother said?" Harry asked.
"I'm positive. Pansy read up about it said that a parent can only hold that kind of magic when they are going to do some great act of love like sacrifice themselves or something like that."
Harry suddenly shoved Draco. "What the hell? Pansy knows about this?"
Draco rubbed his own chest where Harry had shoved him. He looked away from the other. "Don't worry. She won't tell anyone.."
The Gryffindor put a hand through his messy raven black hair looking furious. "I can't believe you told that little bitch!"
Frowning, Draco looked up at Harry. "She's not a bitch. She's better than what you think! She's been helping me out with this. If it wasn't for her, I would still be clueless."
"If she's that great, why don't you just go out with her again?" Harry said with a sneer.
"Whatever, Harry. You don't even know her. Look at your ex-girlfriend! Now that's a stupid little bitch right there," Draco said harshly with a roll of his eyes.
"She's not that bad.." Harry mumbled. "She's not as stupid as I am.."
"Yeah right," Draco said darkly.
"You know, that's how this all started. It was on the train and I was with Cho," Draco shuddered at the sound of her name when it came out of Harry's mouth, "And you came along and got your knickers all in a twist with jealousy," Harry said plainly.
The Slytherin boy gave his typical sneer. "First of all, I don't wear knickers and second of all, I wasn't jealous."
"Right, Draco. Like I believe that."
"Okay, so maybe I was jealous. So what? I think you were jealous just now when I told you that Pansy knew about this!" Draco said looking victorious.
"I don't give a shit if you have a girlfriend or whatever, Draco. I was just angry because you told her about it! This is embarrassing!" Harry said.
"Embarrassing? You think this is embarrassing for you? How do you think I feel? I'm the one who started this. Plus, I still have these damn feelings that you haven't completely returned to me yet," Draco said while his voice flickered. "No matter who knows about it, I'm still alone in this."
Harry took Draco and pulled him close so their faces were only centimeters apart. "What do you want from me, Draco?" Draco's mouth opened as if he was going respond but did nothing. His expression dimmed and he looked very sullen. "What do you want?" asked Harry again. He then slammed Draco up against the wall making him yell in pain. "What exactly do you want? Because I kissed you already. I don't know what else I need to do to show you that I care."
Draco groaned. His back was feeling very sore and Harry's nails were digging into his shoulders. He then shoved Harry away. "What the fuck is wrong with you, Harry?" he said at the top of his voice. "You're saying that you somehow care for me and then you kick my ass? I'm not some fucking masochist that you can punish! You can't take your feelings out on me just because you're as screwed up as I am."
Harry's face softened. "I'm.. sorry," he muttered. "You don't know how mad I am at myself now."
Draco looked annoyed. "Of course I know how mad you at yourself. That is how I have been feeling all along but I still had that slight hope that you would change your hate for me and turn it to something positive," he said in what was faint whisper, "Not some sick infatuation. I don't want you to care because you're feeling obligated and I don't want this to be as complicated as it has been so far. Just because of a.. stupid kiss this morning.." it was hard for Draco to call the kiss stupid when it didn't seem anything of the sort to him.
Harry stared at Draco. "Maybe we can both forget it ever happened.." Draco began but was interuppted as Harry grabbed his collar and pulled him closer.
"We'll forget it later.." said the black haired boy gently putting his hands on Draco's face. His hands were rough compared to the other boy's soft milky smooth skin. He put his mouth against the other boy's in what seemed to be an act of desperation.
Draco put his hands on the Harry's waist and brought their bodies even closer. His tongue entered into the other's boy familiarly sweet tasting mouth and was engulfed with warmth and pleasure. He found that his curious hands were roaming up and down the other boy's slender yet very well built body. Somehow he found himself on the cold hard floor with Harry's body arched over him leaning in for another kiss. Draco automatically began unbuttoning the Gryffindor boy's shirt. He grew impatient with the buttons and somehow maneuvered it off his body.
Harry unbuttoned Draco's shirt as well and pulled it off of him. The feeling of their skin so close together was electrifying. Harry found that Draco was undoing his pants and suddenly stopped the kiss and pulled away. "Woah.." He tried to catch his breath as he stood there with a bare chest in shock of what almost just happened. "We.. we can't do that. Not now. Not here.."
Draco looked rather disappointed but nodded in agreement. "Damn it, Malfoy," said Harry. "You ripped my shirt off of me." The Slytherin boy looked embarrassed at first but noticed the grin on Harry's face. He picked up his own shirt and began to put it on when he noticed something very orange out the corner of his eye. He turned to see what it was and literally gasped.
Harry too turned to see what Draco saw. Ron was standing there with the most horrified disgusted look on his face.
"What the fuck, Harry?" He yelled.
The End of Chapter 10! -=-
Strange chapter, I know! But what will Harry and Draco do if Ron decides to spread the news about their affair around the school?
Please Review!