OK here's a little something special for all you patient readers out there

Omake special

"All right, in this scene our favorite little alchemist…" I snickered.

"LET ME AT HIM! I'LL TEAR THE BASTARD LIMB FROM LIMB!" The alchemist in question roared.

"Is going to go berserk and thrash a group of hired thugs. And…ACTION!" I finished.

As he rounded the corner, Ed heard the word "little" and went into berserker mode. He shot them a demonic grin as he transmuted his automail into the most evil blade they had ever seen.

"Mommy!" the head follower whimpered.

"AAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!"

WHAM!

"AIEEEEEE!"

SPLAT!

"NOOOOOOOO!"

HONK, HONK!

Ed and the Clergyman look at each other and shrugged.

WHUMPH!

The thug slammed his boot between Ed's legs. The oldest Elric collapsed in a heap, wheezing and gasping for breath.

"MEDIC!" the blonde whimpered.

"CUT!"

The extremist collapsed in a charred heap when the flames extinguished. The MPs dove on him and wrapped him from head to toe in chains.

"I went easy on you. I made it hot enough to toast the outer layer of skin and your clothes, but not much else. If I wasn't feeling as generous, I would have burned you to ashes." The dark- haired colonel smirked.

"What…what the hell are you?" Bald hissed.

"I'm faster than a speeding bullet! Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound! I'm not a bird! I'm not a plane! I'm Mustang man!

"CUT!"

"I blame you for this." Lt. Hawkeye frowned harshly at me.

The extremist collapsed in a charred heap when the flames extinguished. The MPs dove on him and wrapped him from head to toe in chains.

"I went easy on you. I made it hot enough to toast the outer layer of skin and your clothes, but not much else. If I wasn't feeling as generous, I would have burned you to ashes." The dark haired colonel smirked.

"What…what the hell are you?" Bald hissed.

"I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts!"

"Take it off!" Hawkeye yelled.

"CUT!"

"I'm a model, you know what I mean! And I do my little turn on the catwalk, on the catwalk…"

"Al, if you please?" I asked.

KLANG!

Roy's little musical number was interrupted by Alphonse and a well placed metal foot to his backside knocking the flame alchemist into the ionosphere.

"Thank you!" I said gratefully.

The extremist collapsed in a charred heap when the flames extinguished. The MPs dove on him and wrapped him from head to toe in chains.

"I went easy on you. I made it hot enough to toast the outer layer of skin and your clothes, but not much else. If I wasn't feeling as generous, I would have burned you to ashes." The dark haired colonel smirked.

"What…what the hell are you?" Bald hissed.

"Getting some tonight, unlike you! Isn't that right dearest?"

"Sorry sir, I have a date tonight." Hawkeye deadpanned.

"Oh, with who?" Mustang blinked.

"With me! Isn't that right lover?" Lust purred as she slinked up to the sharp shooter.

"Of course koibito!" The blond woman grinned as she gave the redhead a soul searing kiss.

SPURT!

SPURT!

SPURT!

SPURT!

SPURT!

SPURT!

Nearly every man in the room collapsed as their noses discharged a fountain of blood.

"C-c-c-cut!" the director slurred weakly.

"Oh for the love of J.K Rowling! I hate this bloody scene! When I can move again, I'm gonna kill that stupid writer!" Harry whimpered from his pace on the floor.

"That goes double for me?" Ed groaned.

"Triple!" Mustang chimed in feebly.

"Our needs are quite simple. All we want is for you to let us access a better library or introduce us to a state alchemist who specializes in bio alchemy." Harry answered briskly.

"And we need it now!" Ed added.

THWACK!

Harry slapped Ed on the back of the head, and knocked him out cold when his co-star's face slammed into his CO's desk.

"Um, a little help here?" Harry murmured weakly.

Roy hovered over Ed and poked him in the forehead, "Are you OK, Fullmetal?"

"I'm the prettiest girl at the harvest moon ball!" the blonde alchemist twittered drunkenly.

"I'll take that as a no…" Mustang deadpanned.

The room was large, about twice the size of the living room where they first met. It was lined from floor to ceiling with cages. Those cages were occupied by a menagerie of nightmarish freaks of nature. All ranging from a massive unidentifiable snake with a head so large that it was incapable of moving. Also, a screaming monkey with three heads (one of which was clearly dead, ripped apart by the other two). Also there was a…Mr. Potato head floating in a jar of unknown liquid?

"All right! What happened to the mechanical goats head? Have you seen it Lust?" I scowled.

"I haven't seen it. Have you?" Lust asked gluttony

"MMPH!" (No!) the overweight Homunculi shrugged innocently, despite his bulging cheeks.

"HEY!" Ed scowled…

THWACK!

Smacking the homunculi on the back of the head and making him spit out the prop.

"No eating the scenery!" I said sharply.

"HISSSS!" the glutton noised.

SMACK!

Lust thwacked him on the back of the head.

"What was that for?" he whined.

"We're in the middle of a scene! Control yourself!" she admonished

"Control myself? I'm the incarnation of gluttony! I can't control myself! That's the whole idea!" the eater said incredulously.

"Well you'd better start soon! I don't care how hungry you are! No eating the scenery! I growled.

"You're not the boss of me!" the piggish homunculus sniffed.

"Like Hell I'm not! From now on, no eating anything on the set, or so help me, the next fanfic I cast you in will be a slash fic starring you and Scar!" I scowled.

"EEP! I'll be good!" Gluttony whimpered.

"He's got you whipped!" Envy snickered

"Watch it, breadstick!" Gluttony glowered.

Harry backed away and looked on in mute horror as the violet gas made its way into the mask, forcing the grey haired man to breathe it in.

"NNNGGGH! No, for the love of god, NOT AGAIN!"

That was when Harry remembered Tucker's lat words to him "Play nice with Doctor Langdon! He tends to get…nervous…rather easily."

The middle brother watched as the man body changed. His skin turned purple and soft, almost like felt or foam rubber. His fingers and toes retracted and turned his hands into something resembling mittens. His head grew to gargantuan size as his face ballooned outward and his eyes lost all semblance of rational thought.

"I love you! You Love me! We're a happy family!" the hideous monstrosity sang.

"ARGH! RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!" Harry howled as he and the rest of the cast and crew ran from the unholy monster.

"You brazen insurrectionists make my blood boil! You think that you can just kill everybody here? Don't make me laugh! If you want to get to them, you have to get through me first! I'm Alex Louis Armstrong, the Strong Arm Alchemist." The bald man roared as he yanked his fist out of the wall, collapsing it.

"EEK! PEEPING TOM!" A "woman" screamed as everyone looked into the newly made hole in "her" bathroom wall.

"CUT!" the director barked.

"Get Ed out of there!" I snarled as Al dragged his towel clad, wig wearing brother away.

"Harry! What does your third eye say about his power level!" Ed asked nervously.

"IT'S OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAANNNNNDDDDDDD!" the middle brother roared dramatically.

"CUT!" the director bellowed.

"That's the last time I ever let the cast watch Dragon Ball Z before we shoot a scene..." I muttered under my breath.

"Damn it Harry! Less slacking and more running!" the oldest brother barked as he grabbed his younger sibling by the collar and dragged the boy behind him.

Lust turned down and alleyway and ran full tilt toward the wall at the end.

"No way out now lady! It's a dead end!" Ed said triumphantly.

"No problem!" Lust smirked as she leaped twenty feet into the air and easily cleared the wall.

Ed snarled as he threw his still comatose brother and at barrier and used him as a stepping stool.

"You're not getting away that easily…eh?"

Ed gaped when he saw that the woman was standing on top of a street sign, easy as you please. Ed followed her gesture when she pointed down, and saw that she was indicating the one thing that all anime and fanfiction characters alike feared above all others…not death…not cancelation…not flamers… but the dreaded… pit o' yaoi fangirls

"NOOOOOOOOOO!" Ed howled.

"ROYxED FOREVER!" the fangirls yowled.

"LONG LIVE MUSTANGxARMSTRONG!" the fangirls screeched.

"HAIL ENVYxGLUTTONY!" the fangirls bellowed.

"Quick! Someone distract them so we can save Ed" I yelled.

The female fic characters all looked at each other and came to the same inescapable decision.

The grabbed Roy and Hughes and tossed them to the wolves while the rest of the cast grabbed Ed and ran for it.

Remember folks, read, review, and check out the challenges on my profile page.