(A/N: I was a little disappointed when Tarot #94 came out. With the way Jim Balent Explaied the story, you thought there was going to be an actual fight between Jon and Crypt Chick but no. They just ended up fighting statues. Boo.)

This was not going to be easy. Jon knew ho his ex-girlfriend was with his new lovers and telling her the news might push her over the edge… but she was going to find out sooner or later so it might as well be from someone she cares about. He decided to do it in another graveyard as not to wake up his ghost friends with her shrieking. Luckily there was abandoned one not that far…

"Brandi… Crypt Chick…" Jon began carefully. She did not look happy. Granted she was never happy being a ghost and all but she looked extra upset tonight. "… There's something I have to talk to you about."

She just rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I know. You're getting married to that redheaded witch of yours. News travel fast in the world of the dead."

"So… are you okay with that?" he asked.

"Yeah. I'm real happy for you. While living your life with some hot redhead, her big boobed sister, and some random cat lady, I'm sitting here walking the tombstones with nothing but eternity to look after… Whoop-de-fucking-doo!" she raged.

Jon was speechless from what she said. She must have read his mind. "Yes Jon. I was watching you in the gardens. You said you were a one woman kind of guy but you looked pretty damn happy with that cat girl sucking your dick. You couldn't have sex with me anymore, so you found some big boobed girls and their mom. One woman… yeah right."

Jon said nothing as she let her run out of steam before he started again. "Look…Brandi. I'm here because I care about you. I know you say we're not boyfriend and girlfriend anymore but that doesn't mean I'm just going to forget about you. I came here because I want to see if you're alright with all this.

She rushed towards Jon and ran her fingers through his chest as he grabbed his heart. He grunted in pain. "You want to know how I feel so bad?! I'll tell you! DEAD! While you're out there having fun, eating, having sex. I'M. FUCKING. DEAD!" she squeezed his heart as though she was trying to kill him. She leaned in close to him. "You wan to really know how I feel?" she asked with chilling calmness. "All I have to do is crush your heart then you'll know how I feel."

"No!" Jon begged "Don't… your soul." He gasped as she applied more pressure.

"But didn't you want to know how I feel? This is the best way how." She suddenly let go of Jon as she became bored with this game. "Like I would really kill you. But you know… I could always change my mind. So to answer your question: your ex-girlfriend doesn't care anymore. I don't!" Her 'skin' suddenly disappeared, leaving behind her skeleton, yet she remained causal from this. Jon was shocked from her transformation. "Relax…" she assured. "…Just a trick I learned. Gives me something to do in the face of eternity." Her 'skin' returned… but not her clothes.

"Don't you have… friends to hang out with? In the graveyard…" Jon trailed off.

She huffed at his question. "What? The other ghosts? Ha! They have their own problems. Some are lost… real downers. The worst are the Shrouds…" Jon raised his eyebrow quizzically. "Shrouds?"

Crypt Chick pointed to the statues that surrounded them. All of them appearing like skeletons. Most in hoods holding various objects. "I guess you can call them statues, but their 'alive' I assure you. Tortures souls cling to their lost humanity. They are desperate to become human again, so they inhabit these statues. Haven't you ever looked at a cemetery and had that feeling they were looking right back at you?" Jon suddenly felt a chill run up his spine. He felt as though one of them was looking at him right now. Its empty eye socket staring into his soul…

"Now that you mention it… yeah… I do." Crypt Chick tapped her finger against one of them as though trying to wake it up. "Hey! I know you can hear us! Say something you stupid spook!" she turned her back to it. "See? I told you nothing. No use wasting our time with these losers…" The Shroud in front of her suddenly jumped out and grabbed her. One of its cold dead hands grasping her breasts while the other when lower… Jon leapt into action as he struggled to free his ghost friend. "Can't you phase through it?!" he blurted out.

"Ugh. No. I don't know who makes up these rules… Maybe there's a ghost inside this thing just get me out of here!" she screamed. With a small chant, Jon hands became engulfed in blue fire as he grasped the statue at the base. He pulled with all his might as a specter suddenly slithered out. It screamed as though in pain as it dissolved into nothingness… Without a ghost inhabiting it, Crypt Chick phased through the statue. "Ugh my hero…" she said. It was meant to sound sarcastic but Jon could tell there was some sincerity in her voice.

Jon smiled smugly. It wasn't often he would be the one saving the girl. "No problem, Crypt Chick" he said confidently. He didn't even notice the female Shroud reaching for him from behind. He shoved him into her stone cleavage with intent to suffocate him so she could take his body. Jon struggled futilely trying to get out. "Yeah, no problem at all." Crypt Chick said with complete sarcasm. She decided to rush to her 'hero' but was suddenly captured by a praying Shroud. "Another one?!" she exclaimed "FUCK… OFFF!" She kicked it so hard the ghost flew out instantly. She the lunged for the angel Shroud and ripped the angel Shroud right out, saving Jon and returning the favor. "There… that makes us even." Jon melted the arm's statues as he finally got free. He took several deep breaths before he turned to her. "Thanks Brandi. That was too close for comfort!"

"Death by stone boobies." She chuckled. "Quite the way to, don't you think?" she grabbed Jon with intent to get them both out of the graveyard before anymore statues decided to get grabby. Unfortunately, Jon was traded one pair of boobs for one a bit less… solid. "Uh Crypt Chick… your boobs…"

"Yeah so? You should be used to this by now. Shut up and enjoy the ride. Live a little…"